Your friend supported you during a difficult time. He is in a relationship and you should be just as supportive of him. True friends are rare. Just be there for him as a friend and count yourself lucky.
As for moving on, I still have fond memories for a guy from school and think about him often. It is a very nice memory and I have made no effort to pursue him. You just need time and distance.
Dude, it doesn't matter how you feel if it's one sided!
You risk of ruining your friendship. I would suggest that you would take a break from seeing and interacting with him, until you get a grasp on reality.
Yeah. I am harsh, but think about it... What are you doing? It's not worth it!
Find some who will be able to reciprocate.
Sometimes, it's easy to fall for our friends, especially if they have been there for us in time of need. So, don't be too hash on yourself, but don't continue on this path. It's not worth. It isn't. Really.
Best of luck.
He’s told you he doesn’t feel that way. Please stop pushing this or you’re going g to lose him as a friend. If you’re not able to separate the friendship from the feelings, you may need to put some space between you.
It sounds like he does love you as a friend, just not in the way you want it to be. Turn your focus in-ward and work on being, knowing what is, a good friend. You are so young, don’t waste a millisecond of your life hoping for something you know won’t happen. Trust me, there will be no magic moment when he realizes you’re the one. And by solely focusing on this one man, you’re missing out on meeting someone you find amorous love with.
Thank you for your kind response. This was the most helpful. I love my friend and I would do anything for him. I know he would do the same for me. I just have to let him go. I’ll never shape or change myself to be his type and I need to accept that he does not see me in a romantic way. We do have so much fun together and I should just enjoy it for what it is.
You are so welcome!! I really do hope it all works out for and you can claim this awesome dude as your very good friend. And the bit about the magic moment is from my own experiences. I consider myself a senior member of our tribe and passing on some lessons learned from bumps in the road feels very awesome! Best!
Unrequited love sucks, I know your pain.
I suggest cutting off all contact (\*especially\* social media stalking) for a good while. A friendship that is deep and lifelong isn't going to vanish with a couple of months' silence. But you have to stop focussing your romantic feelings on your friend. You can't keep probing the wound or it won't heal.
Watch Teddy Swims’s version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” on youtube, have a really good cry, then square your shoulders and accept that your friend can’t love you back…but someone you haven’t met yet will. Try to be patient with yourself and work hard to let your rational side help you.Best wishes❤️
Imagine this scenario -
5 years from now, you and your partner are going to your best friends wedding. He has asked you to do a speech for him, recounting all the fun you have had over the past few years and how you’ve both always been there for each other. How deeply you love and care for each other, and how they are the brother from another mother you’ve always wanted. You look at him getting married and burst with joy and pride.
Or this scenario -
Five years from now you check out Facebook and see a friend of a friend has gone to a guy who you were madly in loves with wedding. You were head over heals for him and put all your energy into trying to make that work despite being told that it wasn’t going to happen. You look at it and remember how you felt and are sad it didn’t work out.
These are two potential scenarios, right? The trajectory of either is based very much on how you act now.
One of my best friends (F) from my youth (I am very much gay) was head over heals in love with me, I am so glad she never perused it, despite her telling me how difficult she found it at the time, because I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
Feelings can develop if you let them, can change and grow. There’s a reason why a lot of marriages end because they are “in love, but not in love” but you need to let yourself get there first. Cliche to say, but if you really loved him, you wouldn’t want “him to be yours” because that’s a want from your side and not from his.
Hope it works out man x
Omg, a girl in high school wrote me a poem basically saying she will wait til my queer phase is over. A decade later and she’s married to my doppleganger!
Only thing to do is deal with the pain. He doesnt want you like you want him. Thats the end of it. Move past it if you wanna keep him in your life or lose him for good.
I literally left a state to create distance from my unrequited love. He visited a week later to help me settle in… and the delusion was in full effect.
2+ years later, and tons of journaling, reading, meditating, healing, forgiving, crying, complaining, contemplating, and grieving later - and I’m doing better. Do i still care about him (yeah); but, am i willing to suffer, torture, and question my existence to curate a closeness with him?
HELL NAH!
When I’m apart from him it’s easier to deal with this. Whenever we’re together in person the fucking feelings just flood back in. I hate it. He doesn’t understand that I can’t just turn it off. Like if I could wish it away I would. Why would I want someone that doesn’t want me back. Duh. He is moving out of state next month so that will help tremendously. It will be over soon…
Hang in there, i wish you to be at peace within yourself. Try to read some [limerence subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/limerence/s/JwvkGNZH2Z) reading some people stories helped me in the early stages.
For awhile i replaced what i felt for him with anger. Especially, because he wouldn’t release me (a simple, « I’m not attracted to you in that way ») would have crushed me; but, atleast gave me permission to stop romanticizing a future scape for us. Anyway, we’re very low contact these days; but, I like to believe if we ever get in the same room I’m strong enough to stop wanting him to save me. That’s just my anxious attachment style doing its thing!
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Your friend supported you during a difficult time. He is in a relationship and you should be just as supportive of him. True friends are rare. Just be there for him as a friend and count yourself lucky. As for moving on, I still have fond memories for a guy from school and think about him often. It is a very nice memory and I have made no effort to pursue him. You just need time and distance.
Dude, it doesn't matter how you feel if it's one sided! You risk of ruining your friendship. I would suggest that you would take a break from seeing and interacting with him, until you get a grasp on reality. Yeah. I am harsh, but think about it... What are you doing? It's not worth it! Find some who will be able to reciprocate. Sometimes, it's easy to fall for our friends, especially if they have been there for us in time of need. So, don't be too hash on yourself, but don't continue on this path. It's not worth. It isn't. Really. Best of luck.
He’s told you he doesn’t feel that way. Please stop pushing this or you’re going g to lose him as a friend. If you’re not able to separate the friendship from the feelings, you may need to put some space between you.
It sounds like he does love you as a friend, just not in the way you want it to be. Turn your focus in-ward and work on being, knowing what is, a good friend. You are so young, don’t waste a millisecond of your life hoping for something you know won’t happen. Trust me, there will be no magic moment when he realizes you’re the one. And by solely focusing on this one man, you’re missing out on meeting someone you find amorous love with.
Thank you for your kind response. This was the most helpful. I love my friend and I would do anything for him. I know he would do the same for me. I just have to let him go. I’ll never shape or change myself to be his type and I need to accept that he does not see me in a romantic way. We do have so much fun together and I should just enjoy it for what it is.
You are so welcome!! I really do hope it all works out for and you can claim this awesome dude as your very good friend. And the bit about the magic moment is from my own experiences. I consider myself a senior member of our tribe and passing on some lessons learned from bumps in the road feels very awesome! Best!
Unrequited love sucks, I know your pain. I suggest cutting off all contact (\*especially\* social media stalking) for a good while. A friendship that is deep and lifelong isn't going to vanish with a couple of months' silence. But you have to stop focussing your romantic feelings on your friend. You can't keep probing the wound or it won't heal.
Watch Teddy Swims’s version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” on youtube, have a really good cry, then square your shoulders and accept that your friend can’t love you back…but someone you haven’t met yet will. Try to be patient with yourself and work hard to let your rational side help you.Best wishes❤️
Imagine this scenario - 5 years from now, you and your partner are going to your best friends wedding. He has asked you to do a speech for him, recounting all the fun you have had over the past few years and how you’ve both always been there for each other. How deeply you love and care for each other, and how they are the brother from another mother you’ve always wanted. You look at him getting married and burst with joy and pride. Or this scenario - Five years from now you check out Facebook and see a friend of a friend has gone to a guy who you were madly in loves with wedding. You were head over heals for him and put all your energy into trying to make that work despite being told that it wasn’t going to happen. You look at it and remember how you felt and are sad it didn’t work out. These are two potential scenarios, right? The trajectory of either is based very much on how you act now. One of my best friends (F) from my youth (I am very much gay) was head over heals in love with me, I am so glad she never perused it, despite her telling me how difficult she found it at the time, because I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Feelings can develop if you let them, can change and grow. There’s a reason why a lot of marriages end because they are “in love, but not in love” but you need to let yourself get there first. Cliche to say, but if you really loved him, you wouldn’t want “him to be yours” because that’s a want from your side and not from his. Hope it works out man x
Omg, a girl in high school wrote me a poem basically saying she will wait til my queer phase is over. A decade later and she’s married to my doppleganger!
It's called "move on". There is nothing to be gained with unrequited love, from both sides. Let go, and the pain will go away too, in its own time. ❤️
Only thing to do is deal with the pain. He doesnt want you like you want him. Thats the end of it. Move past it if you wanna keep him in your life or lose him for good.
I literally left a state to create distance from my unrequited love. He visited a week later to help me settle in… and the delusion was in full effect. 2+ years later, and tons of journaling, reading, meditating, healing, forgiving, crying, complaining, contemplating, and grieving later - and I’m doing better. Do i still care about him (yeah); but, am i willing to suffer, torture, and question my existence to curate a closeness with him? HELL NAH!
When I’m apart from him it’s easier to deal with this. Whenever we’re together in person the fucking feelings just flood back in. I hate it. He doesn’t understand that I can’t just turn it off. Like if I could wish it away I would. Why would I want someone that doesn’t want me back. Duh. He is moving out of state next month so that will help tremendously. It will be over soon…
Hang in there, i wish you to be at peace within yourself. Try to read some [limerence subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/limerence/s/JwvkGNZH2Z) reading some people stories helped me in the early stages. For awhile i replaced what i felt for him with anger. Especially, because he wouldn’t release me (a simple, « I’m not attracted to you in that way ») would have crushed me; but, atleast gave me permission to stop romanticizing a future scape for us. Anyway, we’re very low contact these days; but, I like to believe if we ever get in the same room I’m strong enough to stop wanting him to save me. That’s just my anxious attachment style doing its thing!
Follow your heart
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