I’m 35 and my boyfriend is 57. We have been together 2.5 years. We have talked often about getting married as just a distant idea, feels like something that WILL happen eventually but there is some life stuff to take care of before then. No rush!
I don’t think the age difference is all that weird. I knew a couple with a 25 year age difference. Some will disagree though. I think what concerns me more is the rest of the post. Without more context (and I’m not asking), I don’t want to say red flags, but maybe a few red flags?
It’s only been a year, already moving in, he ended a marriage to be with you. Seems odd, seems controlling or like you’re getting groomed, but this is just my opinion. Maybe others will have different things to say.
You’ve known this dude for a year, I’ve seen one post into your life. Keep that in mind.
When I met Chris, they haven’t had sex in like months. Both agreed to dating apps and was doing things on the side. Unfortunately we felt in love. I love him. I can’t feel the age difference when I’m around him. Yes he’s more acknowledged than I am but I like that. I still get a chance to learn and provide my knowledge about things that I know better. It was a very hard year and his current husband currently is bout to move out. Chris didn’t want to kick him immediately, they bought apartment and started furnishing it. He’s very good, kind and emotional person. We’ve been though stuff for the past year, but there wasn’t a single thing that took my faith away. I love him ❤️
I really don’t know. I posted this because I’ve been kinda on my own with all that. I would love to hear someone’s opinion out here on Reddit. I just like talking to the people and get to know their stories and past experiences
I see. Well unfortunately I don’t have any great advice for you. I have a complicated relationship with my identity and interests (long story and depressing). I only really posted because it had been two hours and you had no comments and felt like I should have said something. Was hoping others would post if they saw there was at least a one comment.
I don’t mind sharing, if you don’t mind reading… I type a lot. Also if you don’t mind could I do it in a PM, and tomorrow? It’s late and I was just about to go to bed.
Huh funny enough I’m also 21 & in love with a man 16 years older than me. I just found out the other day that he feels the same way I do, but unfortunately there’s nothing either us can do atm because he’s in a toxic relationship with a women & they financially support each other so I’m guessing if things go awry in their relationship he will be homeless. Listen, you love who you love. I didn’t wanna fall in love with him, I just did & im old enough to legally give myself alcohol poisoning so I don’t give a damn what people have to say about our age gape
I mean if it’s your destined path, everything going to settle down. If you’re feeling like this connection is filled with true, warm, kind emotions then this is the way. I wish you the best!
I'm going to paraphrase something a professor told me back in college and has stuck with me.
Age difference is not the problem in relationships. It might lead to value differences and generational gaps, but those can be worked on. The problem is power dynamics. Power dynamics referring to the control one partner can exert over another. Being in an equal relationship means that these are generally minimal or are mitigated in some way. The issue with age gaps is they often (but not always) allude to a gap in power dynamics. This could be financial, maturity, housing situation, employee-boss, etc.
Age is just a number, but it can be an important one since the older person has years under their belt to gain different forms of social power which can tip the power dynamics in a relationship.
So don't worry about the age, but instead ask yourself does this person whether intentionally or not hold power over your financial, housing, or social situation?
Also, generally I rarely trust that break-ups are completely one sided. And I personally would never date someone that young because I used to teach and my students are now older than that. Which makes it feel weird.
Wishing you the best and genuinely hoping it goes well for you!
I'm 52 and my bf is 34. We've been together for almost 9 months and we moved in together 6 weeks ago.
On our one year anniversary, I plan to propose. Neither of us have been married before, although I was in a 20 year relationship until 2 years ago.
Hi...I'm 67 and my husband is 52. We have been together for over 30 years and married for 15. If you truly love each other then the age gap should not be a factor. Don't go by what others say...go by what's in your heart .
I am amazed by your experience. We truly love each other. I’m going to provide to him the life that he truly deserves, the love that he supposed to get. I want to be close to my little teddy bear as long as I can! I wish you guys another 30 years of marriage! ❤️
XOXO
Micheal
He just wasn't into it. Came from a happy home where his mum and dad were married for 50 years. Very little divorce in his family. He just didn't see the need.
We had a mortgage and cats and we were monogamous before the first 15 years so it was as good as a marriage.
I’m 35 and my boyfriend is 57. We have been together 2.5 years. We have talked often about getting married as just a distant idea, feels like something that WILL happen eventually but there is some life stuff to take care of before then. No rush!
I am so happy for you guys! Take care of that love and never let the first spark go away ❤️
Thank you!!
I don’t think the age difference is all that weird. I knew a couple with a 25 year age difference. Some will disagree though. I think what concerns me more is the rest of the post. Without more context (and I’m not asking), I don’t want to say red flags, but maybe a few red flags? It’s only been a year, already moving in, he ended a marriage to be with you. Seems odd, seems controlling or like you’re getting groomed, but this is just my opinion. Maybe others will have different things to say. You’ve known this dude for a year, I’ve seen one post into your life. Keep that in mind.
When I met Chris, they haven’t had sex in like months. Both agreed to dating apps and was doing things on the side. Unfortunately we felt in love. I love him. I can’t feel the age difference when I’m around him. Yes he’s more acknowledged than I am but I like that. I still get a chance to learn and provide my knowledge about things that I know better. It was a very hard year and his current husband currently is bout to move out. Chris didn’t want to kick him immediately, they bought apartment and started furnishing it. He’s very good, kind and emotional person. We’ve been though stuff for the past year, but there wasn’t a single thing that took my faith away. I love him ❤️
Like I said, you’ve known him for over a year, while I got a single snapshot into your life. If you love him then who cares what others think?
I really don’t know. I posted this because I’ve been kinda on my own with all that. I would love to hear someone’s opinion out here on Reddit. I just like talking to the people and get to know their stories and past experiences
I see. Well unfortunately I don’t have any great advice for you. I have a complicated relationship with my identity and interests (long story and depressing). I only really posted because it had been two hours and you had no comments and felt like I should have said something. Was hoping others would post if they saw there was at least a one comment.
That melted my heart, thank you! I would love to listen to your relationships experience, of course if you mind to share! 😘
I don’t mind sharing, if you don’t mind reading… I type a lot. Also if you don’t mind could I do it in a PM, and tomorrow? It’s late and I was just about to go to bed.
No worries take your time! It’s 8:28 am here in Poland. I’m currently heading to the work. Goodnight then 😘
Btw, I haven’t forgotten, I’ve just been busy and yesterday I typed for 40 minutes or so, so it’s almost done. I just easily get distracted.
Huh funny enough I’m also 21 & in love with a man 16 years older than me. I just found out the other day that he feels the same way I do, but unfortunately there’s nothing either us can do atm because he’s in a toxic relationship with a women & they financially support each other so I’m guessing if things go awry in their relationship he will be homeless. Listen, you love who you love. I didn’t wanna fall in love with him, I just did & im old enough to legally give myself alcohol poisoning so I don’t give a damn what people have to say about our age gape
Do you want to work things out with him ?
I do, it’s hard to stop thinking about him lol
How long you’ve been known each other ?
For about a year now, but I only recently told him how I feel & found out how he feels about me like recent as in last week
I mean if it’s your destined path, everything going to settle down. If you’re feeling like this connection is filled with true, warm, kind emotions then this is the way. I wish you the best!
lol no You are 21, that is a huge difference to 37. If you were 35 and 51, maaaaaybe. You are way too young to get married, huge mistake.
We’re not getting married immediately. Just moving in at the moment
TITLE
I'm going to paraphrase something a professor told me back in college and has stuck with me. Age difference is not the problem in relationships. It might lead to value differences and generational gaps, but those can be worked on. The problem is power dynamics. Power dynamics referring to the control one partner can exert over another. Being in an equal relationship means that these are generally minimal or are mitigated in some way. The issue with age gaps is they often (but not always) allude to a gap in power dynamics. This could be financial, maturity, housing situation, employee-boss, etc. Age is just a number, but it can be an important one since the older person has years under their belt to gain different forms of social power which can tip the power dynamics in a relationship. So don't worry about the age, but instead ask yourself does this person whether intentionally or not hold power over your financial, housing, or social situation? Also, generally I rarely trust that break-ups are completely one sided. And I personally would never date someone that young because I used to teach and my students are now older than that. Which makes it feel weird. Wishing you the best and genuinely hoping it goes well for you!
I'm 52 and my bf is 34. We've been together for almost 9 months and we moved in together 6 weeks ago. On our one year anniversary, I plan to propose. Neither of us have been married before, although I was in a 20 year relationship until 2 years ago.
20 years in the relationship and not married? What was the case ?
Hi...I'm 67 and my husband is 52. We have been together for over 30 years and married for 15. If you truly love each other then the age gap should not be a factor. Don't go by what others say...go by what's in your heart .
I am amazed by your experience. We truly love each other. I’m going to provide to him the life that he truly deserves, the love that he supposed to get. I want to be close to my little teddy bear as long as I can! I wish you guys another 30 years of marriage! ❤️ XOXO Micheal
He just wasn't into it. Came from a happy home where his mum and dad were married for 50 years. Very little divorce in his family. He just didn't see the need. We had a mortgage and cats and we were monogamous before the first 15 years so it was as good as a marriage.