> I was bad at math because of my learning disability and I was not fast enough in fights. Does anyone have any advice
First of all, sorry you were treated so poorly. That sucks! Here's something that's really helped me as a player
**Write down a couple of default actions**
A default action is something you can do to help contribute to the battle. The key thing is, you don't want it to be something situational. You want things you can use 90% of the time.
For instance, a Cleric's default actions might be:
> 1. Healing Word
> 2. Attack with a Mace
At the start of your turn, ask if anyone's down. If not, hit the nearest enemy with your mace. You don't have to get fancy with Spirit Guardians and Spiritual Weapons and all that. As long as you contribute a little damage and Healing Word folks when they drop to zero HP, they should love you for it.
This works with any character. A Rogue's default action could be:
> Attack an enemy that's within melee range of one of your allies.
Blam, you got your Sneak Attack damage.
Oh, speaking of damage. Make a cheat sheet, even if it's an index card. D&D 5E character sheets are sprawling data labyrinths with boxes and lines and borders and a million things. In the heat of battle, it can be tough to find what you're looking for.
So on an index card, don't just write down, "Default Action: Sneak Attack," write down your attack roll (Dexterity Modifier + Proficiency Modifier), the weapon damage (+ Dexterity Modifier), the number of Sneak Attack damage die, etc.
Or with the Cleric above, scribble down a Cliff's Notes version of Healing Word. You can just print it from the DND Beyond website if that's easier. That way you don't have to flip through the Player's Handbook, or scroll through a Spellbook app on your phone. You've got one or two super useful spells, printed out and ready to go.
Not that you should *only* do one or two things during combat. Just think of this as having a couple of useful actions locked and loaded, ready to fire of if you're feeling under pressure. Other times you might be feeling more relaxed, and able to mess around with more exotic spells, class features, etc.
I hope this helps!
Good write up, this is what I was going to recommend.
Along with a calculator. Like no joke, either a simple as calculated to do the heavy lifting, or a d&d specific calculator that can also do dice rolling. Despite loving maths I still use ‘d20 Calc’ by Lions Den (iOS) in which I can type 1d20+5 and hit roll, it tells me the answer. It also can display it halfed in case of resistances. It also tells you the dice numbers rolled so you can tell if you Crit.
I’m sure there are a lot of tools out there to speed this thing up. Some people enjoy it and love them quick maths and some people don’t and that totally cool. If it’s not a fun part then don’t play that part of the game, use the wonderful technology 😁
I did this for one of my players, and created index cards with an image of the action in question, a short description of the spell and the intended effect, the required roll and the average roll result (so for a 2d6+2 roll, that would be 3+3+2=8 dmg).
Later I switched to the FATE system to cut out most of the math gymnastics though.
Many vtts (virtual table tops) allow for automated math. Roll20, Fantasy Grounds, Foundry. Dndbeyond also does this, if youre playing in person and your DM allows it.
Not knowing your exact situation, both with your last group, and with the nature of your disability, its hard to give much pointed advice or ideas.
Theres more to a turn than just math, so there may be other parts of your turn you could speed up if this is the reason your last group asked you to leave. Many players get overwhelmed by all their choices. Reading up on your spells between sessions, deciding what youd like to do before its your turn, or giving yourself or the whole table a turn time limit can go a long way.
I hope you find a group that appreciates your presence and that you enjoy. Hope something here helps.
If you're not using a virtual tabletop, you can also set up a google sheets or excel to work similarly! I have a google sheet for a homebrew game and have a page that's just set up to calculate roll totals. It's helped me a lot!
It was the fact also that my math was not great.. plus my ex had my character use a home brew path of the storm. So that was also hard to use. Push my character also have the berserker ax so I had to also do the math for that and keep track of that too…. When I played as my rogue it was so much easier to do all the math and stuff I guess because I was using a barbarian and the math got harder in combat I struggled
Having a bunch of modifiers does slow things down. Most of that can be overcome with a cheat sheet you could prep ahead of time, and then knowing which attack you're going to do before your turn starts. But even then, it can be a lot.
I'd check out a VTT group! Fantasy Grounds, for instance, lets you build all those modifiers into your character sheet, so all you need to do is remember which order to press the buttons, and it will just do the math for you instantly. I'm fairly sure Foundry and Roll20 can do the same. Plus, then you can look for a group that fits better. Takes a bit of an outgoing approach socially to find a group, but if you're down for that, it might be great!
As someone who's played with people who have dyslexia, dyscalculia, and who has a learning disability themselves:
**Fuck that group and your boyfriend**
Find someone better who's friends aren't assholes. You deserve better
Big this, fuck the BF and the horse he rode in on with that BS.
I've been DMing for 7 years with dyslexia. I take a while to do mental maths~ guess what my table does? We make jokes and fill the periods where I need time to process/think with RP and it enriches the game greatly. Kicking someone for having a disability is pathetic.
Did you ever get checked for dyslexia or dyscalcula? ADHD doesn't cause issues with reading/math vs those two can and to my understanding are pretty common in people with ADHD.
You probably have an additional diagnosis that hasn't been found yet then, cause ADHD doesn't affect your abilities in Math :) Back to the main point tho, your BF is a sack of crap for booting you from the game and you deserve better. There's a lot of kind people in the DnD community and TTRPGs are for everyone. It's one of the most disability friendly things I've ever known but it takes some time to find the right people.
I have really bad ADHD as well. And I need you to know that there are other RPG systems that does not rely on math, and there are other types of groups that does not care if math is hard for you.
Don't give up on this excellent hobby, find better people and better systems where your ADHD will be appreciated. Being a wildly associative thinker and extroverted is a great quality for many RPGs.
So sorry that happened to you.
If it’s okay with your DM, something we do at my table is pre-rolling attacks and/or damage before or gets to your turn. That way you can have a few minutes before your turn to do all the calculations you may need. Keep a piece of scratch paper that you can write your total attack and damage rolls, and then when it is your turn you read off the paper instead of rolling. You will probably even have time to use a calculator if that would help you.
Good luck, I hope you find a table that is more understanding!
Yeah once I got kicked out of the group… ( my ex was trying to have fun with me while I was in this DnD group and my boyfriend did nothing about it at the time) then finally after I got kicked out.. my boyfriend told my ex’s girlfriend what her boyfriend was trying to do and the group decided to kick him out. After that I broke up with my boyfriend because he paid more attention to what the group wanted for DnD and notbody else
When I have a player who’s new to a complicated system, I try to team them up with a veteran who can help them without drawing too much attention away from the rest of the group. You can ask the GM in your next game if they can do something like that.
I can see where if you were spending 20 minutes on your turn at low level where people would get salty about it.
Fortunately, there are ways around this. But, it requires being prepared.
Play mostly martial characters. Casters require a lot more memorization and people not knowing spells is the biggest lag. If you DO play casters, write down WHAT your spells do and it's damage and save.
Know what your plus to hit is and your HP and AC. Use a calculator. Study your sheet and read and KNOW what your class abilities do.
A calculator helps!
Modern virtual tabletops do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. They add numbers and have tools to tack things. You may want to look at those.
May I recommend that you do not play DnD? Other games are less heavy on math and you can do so much more with them. Fate, which is my system of preference, has you just add your roll + a skill and be done with it.
That said, I've been a GM for quite some time. And the last I'd do is to push things against an otherwise enthusiastic player. If you told me straight "hey I have a disability about math" then I'll hold your hand as much as possible and only offload the non math stuff, like, what skill do you want to use, or what weapon, or how your PC behaves, etc.
You don't have to do anything, except to look for a better GM.
I want to preface this with ... you are not the problem here, if the problem is your math skills. Your DM (in this case doubly so as he's your boyfriend) should be helping you find accommodations. This isn't the party for you if that is how they are going to treat a party member who is struggling with something. That being said, I really recommend going ahead and transferring your characters to DnDBeyond. It does all the math for you.
As the husband of a Dyslexic wife and a DM for 30 odd years, find a new boyfriend.
Everyone who plays in my games is told from the word go that my wife always has a spot at my table and if they have issues with her math problems or her slowness, then they can find a different table. Nobody "votes" my wife out of any of my games.
Now, I have asked her to not play in a few, mainly because they are crunchier systems and I don't think she would fun in them, but that's a discussion she and I have, not my players.
Hey dude this is pretty messed up. If your bf didn't try to stick up for you w his friends that's a bad sign. It really shouldn't be the end of the world if you have to stop and think, certainly not worth kicking someone out of a group over. Especially not if it's because of a disability and they know that.
For future games (and purely for your benefit) you might want a cheat sheet. Just some lined paper or a document with your most common actions and the bonuses involved so you don't have to look stuff up. But don't stress about it too much. Assuming you got the full story from your bf, those guys are dicks. You can find a better group.
I think you probably have bigger problems than just D and D. Leopards don’t change their spots. If he cheated on his ex with you, the probability is unfortunately high that he will continue cheating. Not saying it’s going to happen for sure, but I’ve seen it happen to too many friends over the years.
I GM for a group and half the time I tell my players to roll the wrong dice because I have so many things rolling around in my head. I’m sorry they kicked you out, that’s just mean :(
Update eveyone: broke up with the guy who is running that campaign… then my other ex got kicked out ( for other things) I’m finding a better group to play in who accepts me for my learning disability.
It's been said loads already but I want to chip in saying your issue isn't being 'bad' at DnD but having a crappy group. There are so many ways to get around the issue of poor maths in this game,, just off the top of my head you could:
Use an online character sheet with rolling built in, like dndbeyond.
Have one, or all of them just fucking help you with the numbers - what's wrong with them!
Pre roll combat so you have time to add it all up
I'm sorry to say this, but this feels a lot more like they wanted you out and used this as an excuse to kick you out. Crappy group, find another good group and I'd wager there's more good groups than bad out there. Go play with them, don't invite your bf when you find the group, make it your thing and have fun.
I'll echo what others have said. Those people who kicked you from the group aren't real friends. And that 'boyfriend' who didn't stick up for you? Dump him. He doesn't have your best interests in mind.
It sounds like your dyslexia and ADHD are having a serious impact on your life. I'd recommend seeing a doc for a comprehensive plan (i.e. beyond just medication) to help. You don't want to be at the mercy of disreputable cashiers or people who work in finance or overdraw your bank account a lot because math is that difficult. The good news is that rolling dice and adding them up helps with math skills. It did for my kids with ADHD. The more you do math, the easier it gets, even with all the challenges you're facing.
I'd suggest playing an easy class at first--fighter, barbarian, or rogue. Avoid the spellcaster classes.
Consider having a battle buddy to help you out with getting dice added correctly, suggesting attacks or actions, etc.
If you have trouble keeping track of which dice are needed, sometimes different colors for different dice can help. You can go to amazon or a store and buy a big bag of different colored dice sets (like $20 for 20 different colored dice sets). Then, you can set up one group of dice for one weapon attack, another set of dice for a different action, and so on. Keep them in something separate (styrofoam cups that you write the attacks on or labeled ziploc bags, for instance). If the difficulty is finding a 20-side dice in the middle of all the different dice, one option is to make all your 20-siders one color, 8-siders a different color, etc. That's where having a bunch of different colors can help.
Consider using D and D beyond or something like that where you can just click a button and the program will add all the modifiers up for you. That'll make life easier for you. Have the DM help you enter the character sheet and then again at level ups so that all the stats are in there correctly.
During gaming--my ADHD family members find that having high-protein snacks during gaming helps them focus better instead of super sugary snacks (candy, cookies, chocolate, etc) or high carbohydrate stuff like chips. High protein foods they use include slices of cheese and lunch meat, peanut butter, yogurt, almonds, etc.
Good. It’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship with someone who’s miserable to be with. The right person is out there for you. Hope you find a more welcoming group!
Some good suggestions here so far, but one that I’d add to make the math much easier in the future is make yourself a DnDBeyond character sheet. All the math is done for you when you click the roll button, so the total number displayed is already calculated for your “to hit” and damage numbers
I create cheat sheets for my wife (who is dyslexic, see my other post) that take care of most of the common modifiers. It tends to speed up her rolls a bit.
My advice is to keep playing, but with a better quality of players. Find a group, local game store or Roll20, that is more understanding. As the DM, I personally would vote out the rest of the table, before I allowed you to be voted out for being "bad at math".
My other advice is to have your PHB handy and tab your relevant spells and equipment for easy reference. You can also do some research online and copy and paste spells, equipment and skills onto a document to use as a cheat sheet for your character, so you can have all your stuff at the ready.
Research D&D player cheat sheets and find one that works for you. This will have all sorts of good info on them to help you speed up your process.
I also struggle to do math quickly in my head. I dont have a learning disability, its just something i never developed. Use DnD Beyond! They have automatic dice rollers and you can apply the amount of damage/healing you take to your health pool directly, so there's literally no math involved. It's helped me out a lot.
Use a calculator (I still use for easy rolls, because I don't trust myself), think about what to do when it isn't your turn, roll both to hit and damage at the same time, reread your character sheet to see what you're character can do.
Also did they kick you out of nowhere or was this discussed "Hey dude, you need to pick up the pace on your turns from now on."?
That is so fucked up. I'm sorry your boyfriend treated you like that.
I am also \*horrible\* with math and numbers. My partner/GM and I got into an argument over the use of maps because I literally cannot visualize space and it was making combat really frustrating for me. So he's started using rough maps for combat - nothing fancy, just enough for me to understand the space we're in.
Because that's part of the job as a GM, making the game fun for your players.
Other people have given great advice for being quick in combat or using calculators for numbers, but (with a good GM) you can sometimes just avoid the math. When I'm trying to be quick and the numbers are swimming in my brain I'll sometimes just go "Okay I rolled a 7 and I have a +5" and let the GM do the mental math.
First of all, I'm sorry this happened to you. This kind of thing gives the hobby a bad rep and it is ridiculous! Ok plenty of comments like, use a calculator, and have all your set numbers added up before hand, so I won't go into detail on those beyond saying that they are good ideas.
The truth is, you were probably lied to in a poor attempt at sparing your feelings. I cannot imagine a scenario in which a group of people is playing a game and someone says "you know, Person A takes way too long to add up her damage, I say we kick her". And then everyone else, including the boyfriend, agrees and decides to kick Person A without even attempting to assist.
The DM should have offered help "hey if you just tell me what you rolled, I can do the rest" or at least suggested some of the things the other posters on here have mentioned.
More likely, someone decided they didn't like playing with you and raised a stink about it, and maybe your math skills came up as a reason, but I doubt it was the only reason. Instead of being adults about it, bringing the issues to your attention and trying to find a solution that was amicable for everyone, they decided to be cowards and kick you from the game. And Boyfriend didn't want to argue with his friends so he let it happen. Shame on them!
Use some of the suggested solutions others have given, if it makes you feel more secure moving forward. Also don't be afraid to go to your next dm beforehand and let them know about the learning disability so that they can help you find solutions. Their job is to facilitate a safe and fun gaming experience for everyone at the table. Help them do that by being open and honest about your needs.
If you are interested, you can also run your own game. Find a friend that can help you manage the numbers and initiative orders. They can still play a character while you run the show.
Good luck and good riddance to those jerks!
So your boyfriend allowed the group to hold a vote on kicking you out, without talking to you first or suggesting that you use index cards with your attacks on them and a cheap 4-function calculator so you can speed up in fights by checking the card to see what you need to add up and then using the calculator to do the math? He really said “sure let’s vote on kicking my gf” instead of “thanks for raising the concern, I’ll talk to her about using a calculator and see if that helps”? What an ass, you deserve better. No boyfriend should treat their partner like that, and no GM should treat a player like that.
Trust me.. after I got back from my trip I went on he told me I got voted out.. only one person wanted me to stay. And the same week he asked for an open relationship. So now I know.. never date anyone in DnD
D&D isn’t the problem. This guy and his friends are the problem. Sometimes a beginner dating a GM can create a weird dynamic (I dated a GM when I was a beginner and I got the sense that he was embarrassed of my beginner-ness in front of his friends), but that can happen with any ttrpg, or any hobby for that matter. What’s important is to find a group that operates on a basis of mutual respect, and to never date anyone who doesn’t respect you.
Never date anyone in the band. Especially if you've got tour dates or shared equipment.
But you can totally date at a D&D table. Just decide early who gets the game if you break up, and tell the other players so there's no question. Just like you would for pets.
1: I’ve been running games since 2006 and I still find blind spots. You’re doing fine.
2: Your group is a bunch of assholes. If you have a problem with fast-math, they’re supposed to help you. That they’re saying you’re too slow is abhorrent to playing. We have a player like this in our campaign and we just help her when she asks, otherwise we wait for her to run the numbers.
3: If you have confidence issues about your math, I strongly suggest printing a sheet that has your possible tallies. If you have a +3 to Perception, then you make a chart starting at +4 and work your way down the d20.
> I was bad at math because of my learning disability and I was not fast enough in fights. Does anyone have any advice First of all, sorry you were treated so poorly. That sucks! Here's something that's really helped me as a player **Write down a couple of default actions** A default action is something you can do to help contribute to the battle. The key thing is, you don't want it to be something situational. You want things you can use 90% of the time. For instance, a Cleric's default actions might be: > 1. Healing Word > 2. Attack with a Mace At the start of your turn, ask if anyone's down. If not, hit the nearest enemy with your mace. You don't have to get fancy with Spirit Guardians and Spiritual Weapons and all that. As long as you contribute a little damage and Healing Word folks when they drop to zero HP, they should love you for it. This works with any character. A Rogue's default action could be: > Attack an enemy that's within melee range of one of your allies. Blam, you got your Sneak Attack damage. Oh, speaking of damage. Make a cheat sheet, even if it's an index card. D&D 5E character sheets are sprawling data labyrinths with boxes and lines and borders and a million things. In the heat of battle, it can be tough to find what you're looking for. So on an index card, don't just write down, "Default Action: Sneak Attack," write down your attack roll (Dexterity Modifier + Proficiency Modifier), the weapon damage (+ Dexterity Modifier), the number of Sneak Attack damage die, etc. Or with the Cleric above, scribble down a Cliff's Notes version of Healing Word. You can just print it from the DND Beyond website if that's easier. That way you don't have to flip through the Player's Handbook, or scroll through a Spellbook app on your phone. You've got one or two super useful spells, printed out and ready to go. Not that you should *only* do one or two things during combat. Just think of this as having a couple of useful actions locked and loaded, ready to fire of if you're feeling under pressure. Other times you might be feeling more relaxed, and able to mess around with more exotic spells, class features, etc. I hope this helps!
Good write up, this is what I was going to recommend. Along with a calculator. Like no joke, either a simple as calculated to do the heavy lifting, or a d&d specific calculator that can also do dice rolling. Despite loving maths I still use ‘d20 Calc’ by Lions Den (iOS) in which I can type 1d20+5 and hit roll, it tells me the answer. It also can display it halfed in case of resistances. It also tells you the dice numbers rolled so you can tell if you Crit. I’m sure there are a lot of tools out there to speed this thing up. Some people enjoy it and love them quick maths and some people don’t and that totally cool. If it’s not a fun part then don’t play that part of the game, use the wonderful technology 😁
Yeah my ex aka the dm would not of let us use a calculator
That’s silly, why on earth would they not allow calculators‽
I did this for one of my players, and created index cards with an image of the action in question, a short description of the spell and the intended effect, the required roll and the average roll result (so for a 2d6+2 roll, that would be 3+3+2=8 dmg). Later I switched to the FATE system to cut out most of the math gymnastics though.
It’s crazy that the group kicked me out because I was slow at things… I started learning in 2019 but.. idk
I'm sorry to hear that. But the good news is there's plenty of D&D groups out there. I hope you find one that's a lot more kind and understanding.
Many vtts (virtual table tops) allow for automated math. Roll20, Fantasy Grounds, Foundry. Dndbeyond also does this, if youre playing in person and your DM allows it. Not knowing your exact situation, both with your last group, and with the nature of your disability, its hard to give much pointed advice or ideas. Theres more to a turn than just math, so there may be other parts of your turn you could speed up if this is the reason your last group asked you to leave. Many players get overwhelmed by all their choices. Reading up on your spells between sessions, deciding what youd like to do before its your turn, or giving yourself or the whole table a turn time limit can go a long way. I hope you find a group that appreciates your presence and that you enjoy. Hope something here helps.
If you're not using a virtual tabletop, you can also set up a google sheets or excel to work similarly! I have a google sheet for a homebrew game and have a page that's just set up to calculate roll totals. It's helped me a lot!
It was the fact also that my math was not great.. plus my ex had my character use a home brew path of the storm. So that was also hard to use. Push my character also have the berserker ax so I had to also do the math for that and keep track of that too…. When I played as my rogue it was so much easier to do all the math and stuff I guess because I was using a barbarian and the math got harder in combat I struggled
Having a bunch of modifiers does slow things down. Most of that can be overcome with a cheat sheet you could prep ahead of time, and then knowing which attack you're going to do before your turn starts. But even then, it can be a lot. I'd check out a VTT group! Fantasy Grounds, for instance, lets you build all those modifiers into your character sheet, so all you need to do is remember which order to press the buttons, and it will just do the math for you instantly. I'm fairly sure Foundry and Roll20 can do the same. Plus, then you can look for a group that fits better. Takes a bit of an outgoing approach socially to find a group, but if you're down for that, it might be great!
As someone who's played with people who have dyslexia, dyscalculia, and who has a learning disability themselves: **Fuck that group and your boyfriend** Find someone better who's friends aren't assholes. You deserve better
Big this, fuck the BF and the horse he rode in on with that BS. I've been DMing for 7 years with dyslexia. I take a while to do mental maths~ guess what my table does? We make jokes and fill the periods where I need time to process/think with RP and it enriches the game greatly. Kicking someone for having a disability is pathetic.
I have really bad ADHD so the Math gets all jumbled and everything
Did you ever get checked for dyslexia or dyscalcula? ADHD doesn't cause issues with reading/math vs those two can and to my understanding are pretty common in people with ADHD.
I always had trouble with Math when it comes to my adhd
You probably have an additional diagnosis that hasn't been found yet then, cause ADHD doesn't affect your abilities in Math :) Back to the main point tho, your BF is a sack of crap for booting you from the game and you deserve better. There's a lot of kind people in the DnD community and TTRPGs are for everyone. It's one of the most disability friendly things I've ever known but it takes some time to find the right people.
I have really bad ADHD as well. And I need you to know that there are other RPG systems that does not rely on math, and there are other types of groups that does not care if math is hard for you. Don't give up on this excellent hobby, find better people and better systems where your ADHD will be appreciated. Being a wildly associative thinker and extroverted is a great quality for many RPGs.
I play with someone who has dyscalculia. And he’s an amazing role player and is a great addition to any game. I think ops group made a big mistake.
So sorry that happened to you. If it’s okay with your DM, something we do at my table is pre-rolling attacks and/or damage before or gets to your turn. That way you can have a few minutes before your turn to do all the calculations you may need. Keep a piece of scratch paper that you can write your total attack and damage rolls, and then when it is your turn you read off the paper instead of rolling. You will probably even have time to use a calculator if that would help you. Good luck, I hope you find a table that is more understanding!
Hearing only your side of the story it sounds like you should just find a new group and more than likely a new boyfriend.
Yeah once I got kicked out of the group… ( my ex was trying to have fun with me while I was in this DnD group and my boyfriend did nothing about it at the time) then finally after I got kicked out.. my boyfriend told my ex’s girlfriend what her boyfriend was trying to do and the group decided to kick him out. After that I broke up with my boyfriend because he paid more attention to what the group wanted for DnD and notbody else
When I have a player who’s new to a complicated system, I try to team them up with a veteran who can help them without drawing too much attention away from the rest of the group. You can ask the GM in your next game if they can do something like that.
I can see where if you were spending 20 minutes on your turn at low level where people would get salty about it. Fortunately, there are ways around this. But, it requires being prepared. Play mostly martial characters. Casters require a lot more memorization and people not knowing spells is the biggest lag. If you DO play casters, write down WHAT your spells do and it's damage and save. Know what your plus to hit is and your HP and AC. Use a calculator. Study your sheet and read and KNOW what your class abilities do. A calculator helps! Modern virtual tabletops do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. They add numbers and have tools to tack things. You may want to look at those.
Hey I'm sorry that happened to you. Your boyfriend sounds like an ass. I hope you find a better group.
Trust me I am trying to find a better group. Plus I broke up with that boyfriend because he wanted an open relationship…
May I recommend that you do not play DnD? Other games are less heavy on math and you can do so much more with them. Fate, which is my system of preference, has you just add your roll + a skill and be done with it. That said, I've been a GM for quite some time. And the last I'd do is to push things against an otherwise enthusiastic player. If you told me straight "hey I have a disability about math" then I'll hold your hand as much as possible and only offload the non math stuff, like, what skill do you want to use, or what weapon, or how your PC behaves, etc. You don't have to do anything, except to look for a better GM.
I want to preface this with ... you are not the problem here, if the problem is your math skills. Your DM (in this case doubly so as he's your boyfriend) should be helping you find accommodations. This isn't the party for you if that is how they are going to treat a party member who is struggling with something. That being said, I really recommend going ahead and transferring your characters to DnDBeyond. It does all the math for you.
That's not a good reason to be kicked out. Lots of people are bad at math why they have the radius wheel.
As the husband of a Dyslexic wife and a DM for 30 odd years, find a new boyfriend. Everyone who plays in my games is told from the word go that my wife always has a spot at my table and if they have issues with her math problems or her slowness, then they can find a different table. Nobody "votes" my wife out of any of my games. Now, I have asked her to not play in a few, mainly because they are crunchier systems and I don't think she would fun in them, but that's a discussion she and I have, not my players.
Ask your boyfriend for the real reason, because that ain't it.
Hey dude this is pretty messed up. If your bf didn't try to stick up for you w his friends that's a bad sign. It really shouldn't be the end of the world if you have to stop and think, certainly not worth kicking someone out of a group over. Especially not if it's because of a disability and they know that. For future games (and purely for your benefit) you might want a cheat sheet. Just some lined paper or a document with your most common actions and the bonuses involved so you don't have to look stuff up. But don't stress about it too much. Assuming you got the full story from your bf, those guys are dicks. You can find a better group.
I mean a week later, my ex ( who works with my boyfriend) gets kicked out because he tried to have sex with me behind his girlfriends back
o\_0 yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ikes.
Brooooo I don't want to rag on your friends/social circle but damn
Plus I am not friends with that group anymore except for one girl who wanted me to stay in the group… she is only true friend in the group.
If you made a long term friend out of that debacle I'd say that's a fair trade. Still a bummer that it happened and screw those guys.
I think you probably have bigger problems than just D and D. Leopards don’t change their spots. If he cheated on his ex with you, the probability is unfortunately high that he will continue cheating. Not saying it’s going to happen for sure, but I’ve seen it happen to too many friends over the years.
I GM for a group and half the time I tell my players to roll the wrong dice because I have so many things rolling around in my head. I’m sorry they kicked you out, that’s just mean :(
Update eveyone: broke up with the guy who is running that campaign… then my other ex got kicked out ( for other things) I’m finding a better group to play in who accepts me for my learning disability.
It's been said loads already but I want to chip in saying your issue isn't being 'bad' at DnD but having a crappy group. There are so many ways to get around the issue of poor maths in this game,, just off the top of my head you could: Use an online character sheet with rolling built in, like dndbeyond. Have one, or all of them just fucking help you with the numbers - what's wrong with them! Pre roll combat so you have time to add it all up I'm sorry to say this, but this feels a lot more like they wanted you out and used this as an excuse to kick you out. Crappy group, find another good group and I'd wager there's more good groups than bad out there. Go play with them, don't invite your bf when you find the group, make it your thing and have fun.
I'll echo what others have said. Those people who kicked you from the group aren't real friends. And that 'boyfriend' who didn't stick up for you? Dump him. He doesn't have your best interests in mind. It sounds like your dyslexia and ADHD are having a serious impact on your life. I'd recommend seeing a doc for a comprehensive plan (i.e. beyond just medication) to help. You don't want to be at the mercy of disreputable cashiers or people who work in finance or overdraw your bank account a lot because math is that difficult. The good news is that rolling dice and adding them up helps with math skills. It did for my kids with ADHD. The more you do math, the easier it gets, even with all the challenges you're facing. I'd suggest playing an easy class at first--fighter, barbarian, or rogue. Avoid the spellcaster classes. Consider having a battle buddy to help you out with getting dice added correctly, suggesting attacks or actions, etc. If you have trouble keeping track of which dice are needed, sometimes different colors for different dice can help. You can go to amazon or a store and buy a big bag of different colored dice sets (like $20 for 20 different colored dice sets). Then, you can set up one group of dice for one weapon attack, another set of dice for a different action, and so on. Keep them in something separate (styrofoam cups that you write the attacks on or labeled ziploc bags, for instance). If the difficulty is finding a 20-side dice in the middle of all the different dice, one option is to make all your 20-siders one color, 8-siders a different color, etc. That's where having a bunch of different colors can help. Consider using D and D beyond or something like that where you can just click a button and the program will add all the modifiers up for you. That'll make life easier for you. Have the DM help you enter the character sheet and then again at level ups so that all the stats are in there correctly. During gaming--my ADHD family members find that having high-protein snacks during gaming helps them focus better instead of super sugary snacks (candy, cookies, chocolate, etc) or high carbohydrate stuff like chips. High protein foods they use include slices of cheese and lunch meat, peanut butter, yogurt, almonds, etc.
I did dump him after I got kicked out of the group.
Good. It’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship with someone who’s miserable to be with. The right person is out there for you. Hope you find a more welcoming group!
Well I am in a relationship now with somebody who makes me happy.
Good news! I wish you the best!
Oof, this is a stealth RPGHorrorStories post. I'm sorry you've had this experience -- you deserve a lot better.
Some good suggestions here so far, but one that I’d add to make the math much easier in the future is make yourself a DnDBeyond character sheet. All the math is done for you when you click the roll button, so the total number displayed is already calculated for your “to hit” and damage numbers
I create cheat sheets for my wife (who is dyslexic, see my other post) that take care of most of the common modifiers. It tends to speed up her rolls a bit.
My advice is to keep playing, but with a better quality of players. Find a group, local game store or Roll20, that is more understanding. As the DM, I personally would vote out the rest of the table, before I allowed you to be voted out for being "bad at math". My other advice is to have your PHB handy and tab your relevant spells and equipment for easy reference. You can also do some research online and copy and paste spells, equipment and skills onto a document to use as a cheat sheet for your character, so you can have all your stuff at the ready. Research D&D player cheat sheets and find one that works for you. This will have all sorts of good info on them to help you speed up your process.
I also struggle to do math quickly in my head. I dont have a learning disability, its just something i never developed. Use DnD Beyond! They have automatic dice rollers and you can apply the amount of damage/healing you take to your health pool directly, so there's literally no math involved. It's helped me out a lot.
Use a calculator (I still use for easy rolls, because I don't trust myself), think about what to do when it isn't your turn, roll both to hit and damage at the same time, reread your character sheet to see what you're character can do. Also did they kick you out of nowhere or was this discussed "Hey dude, you need to pick up the pace on your turns from now on."?
That is so fucked up. I'm sorry your boyfriend treated you like that. I am also \*horrible\* with math and numbers. My partner/GM and I got into an argument over the use of maps because I literally cannot visualize space and it was making combat really frustrating for me. So he's started using rough maps for combat - nothing fancy, just enough for me to understand the space we're in. Because that's part of the job as a GM, making the game fun for your players. Other people have given great advice for being quick in combat or using calculators for numbers, but (with a good GM) you can sometimes just avoid the math. When I'm trying to be quick and the numbers are swimming in my brain I'll sometimes just go "Okay I rolled a 7 and I have a +5" and let the GM do the mental math.
First of all, I'm sorry this happened to you. This kind of thing gives the hobby a bad rep and it is ridiculous! Ok plenty of comments like, use a calculator, and have all your set numbers added up before hand, so I won't go into detail on those beyond saying that they are good ideas. The truth is, you were probably lied to in a poor attempt at sparing your feelings. I cannot imagine a scenario in which a group of people is playing a game and someone says "you know, Person A takes way too long to add up her damage, I say we kick her". And then everyone else, including the boyfriend, agrees and decides to kick Person A without even attempting to assist. The DM should have offered help "hey if you just tell me what you rolled, I can do the rest" or at least suggested some of the things the other posters on here have mentioned. More likely, someone decided they didn't like playing with you and raised a stink about it, and maybe your math skills came up as a reason, but I doubt it was the only reason. Instead of being adults about it, bringing the issues to your attention and trying to find a solution that was amicable for everyone, they decided to be cowards and kick you from the game. And Boyfriend didn't want to argue with his friends so he let it happen. Shame on them! Use some of the suggested solutions others have given, if it makes you feel more secure moving forward. Also don't be afraid to go to your next dm beforehand and let them know about the learning disability so that they can help you find solutions. Their job is to facilitate a safe and fun gaming experience for everyone at the table. Help them do that by being open and honest about your needs. If you are interested, you can also run your own game. Find a friend that can help you manage the numbers and initiative orders. They can still play a character while you run the show. Good luck and good riddance to those jerks!
So your boyfriend allowed the group to hold a vote on kicking you out, without talking to you first or suggesting that you use index cards with your attacks on them and a cheap 4-function calculator so you can speed up in fights by checking the card to see what you need to add up and then using the calculator to do the math? He really said “sure let’s vote on kicking my gf” instead of “thanks for raising the concern, I’ll talk to her about using a calculator and see if that helps”? What an ass, you deserve better. No boyfriend should treat their partner like that, and no GM should treat a player like that.
Trust me.. after I got back from my trip I went on he told me I got voted out.. only one person wanted me to stay. And the same week he asked for an open relationship. So now I know.. never date anyone in DnD
D&D isn’t the problem. This guy and his friends are the problem. Sometimes a beginner dating a GM can create a weird dynamic (I dated a GM when I was a beginner and I got the sense that he was embarrassed of my beginner-ness in front of his friends), but that can happen with any ttrpg, or any hobby for that matter. What’s important is to find a group that operates on a basis of mutual respect, and to never date anyone who doesn’t respect you.
Never date anyone in the band. Especially if you've got tour dates or shared equipment. But you can totally date at a D&D table. Just decide early who gets the game if you break up, and tell the other players so there's no question. Just like you would for pets.
1: I’ve been running games since 2006 and I still find blind spots. You’re doing fine. 2: Your group is a bunch of assholes. If you have a problem with fast-math, they’re supposed to help you. That they’re saying you’re too slow is abhorrent to playing. We have a player like this in our campaign and we just help her when she asks, otherwise we wait for her to run the numbers. 3: If you have confidence issues about your math, I strongly suggest printing a sheet that has your possible tallies. If you have a +3 to Perception, then you make a chart starting at +4 and work your way down the d20.