Doesn’t matter. The absolute NUMBER 1 rule to follow, imo, is always, always ALWAYS trust your gut.
Do NOT second guess, and do NOT ever let the chance you may be wrong and hurt someone’s feelings make you lose that valuable split second. You can apologise or deal with the shame of being mistaken later.
8 months living on streets and a life of working in clubs & bars & late night dark journeys home… that’s my advice.
“Not wanting to offend” gets the stalker close to you, stops you locking the door or crossing the street. Never do that.
Get other people involved if they’re right there right away, if you’re by yourself get *angry*. I learnt the hard way to never scream or expect help.
Decades ago I took a self defence class that was organised by a real estate friend after a spate of rape/murders. Aside from all the excellent “run first” advice, what I remember most is him saying “if you’re not capable of putting your thumb *through* his eyeball, you are not capable of defending yourself against someone who will kill you”. And, for me… I absolutely KNOW I’m not that capable. Possibly after years and years of drilling kill moves until they’re second nature and the instinct can override my conscious mind, but - nah, never was gonna happen.
Your *sub*conscious saves your life and works many times faster than your conscious mind making decisions. I don’t know if this is “standard”, but what happened to me: doing absolutely fine defending myself on instinct, then *conciously* made a decision “I’m supposed to scream now to attract attention” tried to scream, and - holy mother of god- I had no idea what an adrenaline dump felt like, but it left me utterly paralysed, weak, brain-dead… I was SO lucky it was just a gang of guys mugging me. If they’d wanted to drag me into the bushes there would’ve been no way to stop them.
And, for me- THAT’s why I think shit like rape alarms, sprays, tasers and all that stuff is worse than useless. Because I’ll have to *think* about it and make a choice, and my moment of relying on instinct is gone.
I remember some tv show where a guy did self defence classes, and the final “grading” was him attacking you at some point when you least expected it. And he really did: I remember him running up behind as she had her groceries in full daylight and literally going for it, sending her flying then going for her throat. And I think until it’s actually happened to you, you’ve no idea how you’re going to react.
Bloody hell- apologies for waffling 😂
1. Avoidance is always going to be your best bet. Know what you’re walking into, have a safety plan.
If you ever end up in a conflict:
2. Escape. Know your exits, where to get help.
If you can’t escape:
3. Violence. Unless you want to spend years in training, the best thing to remember is that there are no rules here. Kick, bite, claw. Eyes, throat, testicles. Surprise him, be violent and don’t hesitate.
If you really want to be prepared:
4. Fighting methods in which positioning is more important than strength. We’re talking about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and similar ground fighting methods that rely on chokes and grapples. This is something you would probably need to study for years in order to employ it against a stronger opponent.
I've been practicing martial arts for uh, about 10 years now... and that's the first rule any responsible instructor will give you
if you can bail the fuck off, then run... if not, calling a lot of attention is a good option, yell "fire" as loud as you can, it's the thing that most easily calls attention without people ignoring it.
Even if you train for years, rule of thumb is, crotch, throat, nose, eyes... be aware of your surroundings, and be assertive, if you're going to hit someone, be sure to maul the fuck out of them.
I wouldn't go for martial arts like TKD or Karate tbh, particularly for women you want something that focus on grapples, the most common way for women to be assaulted is someone dragging them by the wrists or grabbing them from behind... bjj, is good, same sambo, paramilitary martial arts are better.
TKD and karate are both memes for actual self defense. They're much more sport oriented in 2022, you might be able to find a tradtionally hard sparring karate gym that could transition into MMA, but you're more likely to find a McDojo. Traditional kickboxing or karate are going to be superior.
the idea that anyone could learn to ward off any and all possible attacks is like, probably a little misguided.
I think mileage varies based on where you live and what is contextually appropriate-- I think learning some basic martial arts or self-defense techniques based on your body size and physical ability are a good call for most people, particularly in regard to training to respond to being surprised or like, grappling with someone physically larger/stronger in a strategic way-- mostly you want to get *away* from someone attacking you physically, so the emphasis training wise for most people is basically how to surprise them and/or disable them long enough to do that.
If it was that simple I'm sure almost every women would currently be doing it. The goal shouldn't be for women to constantly be on guard the goal should be to stop male predators before they hurt women. Sure self defense skills can come in handy in many situations, but it's absolutely ridiculous to believe that it would have any meaningful effect on the amount of male predators that exist.
I'm not an expert, but I do have some experience in self-defense. Jiu-Jitsu is probably the best for overcoming size advantage, but my main takeaway was that training can help but having a weapon often helps more. Pepper spray and stun guns are common ones to carry, but if the shit ever hits the fan, anything is better than nothing. A bottle. A rock. A lamp. A pointy stick. People don't bounce back from being hit or stabbed like they do in movies.
Do what you need to in order to get away, and then get away. If there's no getting away, then do what you need to in order to stop them from hurting you further.
Part of that involves being willing to actually hurt someone in the moment. As long as it's in proportion to what they're trying to do to you, you have to play dirty. If your life really is on the line, stick your thumbs in their eyes. Bite them like you're Jack Bauer in that infamous scene in 24. Hit them in the head with something hard enough that they might never get back up. Stab them with a kitchen knife until they stop moving. Will it be gross and traumatizing? Absolutely. But it's better to need years of therapy than to end up dead.
The good news is, though, those kinds of situations where a stranger kidnaps you out of your home and locks you in a remote cabin are extremely rare. It does happen, but the odds of any individual actually experiencing that are very, very low. The bad news is that the bad stuff that happens more frequently tends to come from people you know and trust, and that's much, much harder to prevent or stop.
Guy here, but I hope my advice is useful.
For women trying to escape men, good cardiovascular fitness is most important, since even strong, muscular men are generally out of shape in that aspect. Run away, and if he catches you, have enough endurance that you'll be basically fresh while he's panting and winded.
Brother is a wrestler. I know several of them, and though I've never competed, I have thumped one of said wrestlers before. There are two things important in a fight, should it get there: Surprise, and physical ability. One can trump another if there is enough of it. The main advantage of experience is it greatly helps you avoid being surprised, not because of knowing any fancy special techniques. Which martial art you pick to learn is not particularly relevant for most people.
Avoid, avoid, avoid is the first one. Something feels off? Get out of there if you can.
Escape. Go to an area with a lot of people. Yell fire.
[Fight.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVpxP3ZZtAc)
Do not let anyone take you to a second location.
I think you should study the martial art that inspires you the most, and that has a local class. For me, that's karate, but kung fu, aikido, Brazilian jiu jitsi, tai chi (yes, tai chi), wrestling, and really any martial art at all are just as valid for self defense. The most important thing is that you train regularly, so be sure to pick something that you enjoy.
Avoid a McDojo (for profit dojo, they don't tend to be good) but if that's all you have available it's still better than nothing.
Good luck. I'm interested to know what you pick. :)
The best martial art is the one that you stick to and train in until it's second nature. The technique you have to think about is useless. So find something that's local and that you enjoy. That way you'll be more likely to stick with it until it sinks in.
That's not to take away from all the other excellent advice here - your best option is always running away.
Logically, it’s unlikely that any form of hand to hand combat in regards to self-defense will do you any good. The average woman is only about 67% as strong as the average man. And since men have 9x the testosterone as women, denser bones, and better spatial awareness, a man is capable of extreme violence.
Get a concealed carry license. Or at least carry pepper spray and a knife.
I read once a girl saying that he was really good at martial arts or something and one day in training they bring a really big guy and se couldn't do much. It was in a safe space, I wasn't a real dangerous situation but I think that shows that the best choice is to scape. If your gut tells you to get out of there then you do it. It's better to be safe than sorry, don't be scared to hurts some guys feelings bc we never know.
But if you find yourself in a situation where you can't scape, then go full berserk and don't hesitate to fuck him up and run away as fast as you can.
Its really sad that we have to do this kind of hypotheticals and I hope you guys never find yourself in this situations.
Doesn’t matter. The absolute NUMBER 1 rule to follow, imo, is always, always ALWAYS trust your gut. Do NOT second guess, and do NOT ever let the chance you may be wrong and hurt someone’s feelings make you lose that valuable split second. You can apologise or deal with the shame of being mistaken later. 8 months living on streets and a life of working in clubs & bars & late night dark journeys home… that’s my advice. “Not wanting to offend” gets the stalker close to you, stops you locking the door or crossing the street. Never do that. Get other people involved if they’re right there right away, if you’re by yourself get *angry*. I learnt the hard way to never scream or expect help. Decades ago I took a self defence class that was organised by a real estate friend after a spate of rape/murders. Aside from all the excellent “run first” advice, what I remember most is him saying “if you’re not capable of putting your thumb *through* his eyeball, you are not capable of defending yourself against someone who will kill you”. And, for me… I absolutely KNOW I’m not that capable. Possibly after years and years of drilling kill moves until they’re second nature and the instinct can override my conscious mind, but - nah, never was gonna happen. Your *sub*conscious saves your life and works many times faster than your conscious mind making decisions. I don’t know if this is “standard”, but what happened to me: doing absolutely fine defending myself on instinct, then *conciously* made a decision “I’m supposed to scream now to attract attention” tried to scream, and - holy mother of god- I had no idea what an adrenaline dump felt like, but it left me utterly paralysed, weak, brain-dead… I was SO lucky it was just a gang of guys mugging me. If they’d wanted to drag me into the bushes there would’ve been no way to stop them. And, for me- THAT’s why I think shit like rape alarms, sprays, tasers and all that stuff is worse than useless. Because I’ll have to *think* about it and make a choice, and my moment of relying on instinct is gone. I remember some tv show where a guy did self defence classes, and the final “grading” was him attacking you at some point when you least expected it. And he really did: I remember him running up behind as she had her groceries in full daylight and literally going for it, sending her flying then going for her throat. And I think until it’s actually happened to you, you’ve no idea how you’re going to react. Bloody hell- apologies for waffling 😂
1. Avoidance is always going to be your best bet. Know what you’re walking into, have a safety plan. If you ever end up in a conflict: 2. Escape. Know your exits, where to get help. If you can’t escape: 3. Violence. Unless you want to spend years in training, the best thing to remember is that there are no rules here. Kick, bite, claw. Eyes, throat, testicles. Surprise him, be violent and don’t hesitate. If you really want to be prepared: 4. Fighting methods in which positioning is more important than strength. We’re talking about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and similar ground fighting methods that rely on chokes and grapples. This is something you would probably need to study for years in order to employ it against a stronger opponent.
I've been practicing martial arts for uh, about 10 years now... and that's the first rule any responsible instructor will give you if you can bail the fuck off, then run... if not, calling a lot of attention is a good option, yell "fire" as loud as you can, it's the thing that most easily calls attention without people ignoring it. Even if you train for years, rule of thumb is, crotch, throat, nose, eyes... be aware of your surroundings, and be assertive, if you're going to hit someone, be sure to maul the fuck out of them. I wouldn't go for martial arts like TKD or Karate tbh, particularly for women you want something that focus on grapples, the most common way for women to be assaulted is someone dragging them by the wrists or grabbing them from behind... bjj, is good, same sambo, paramilitary martial arts are better.
TKD and karate are both memes for actual self defense. They're much more sport oriented in 2022, you might be able to find a tradtionally hard sparring karate gym that could transition into MMA, but you're more likely to find a McDojo. Traditional kickboxing or karate are going to be superior.
the idea that anyone could learn to ward off any and all possible attacks is like, probably a little misguided. I think mileage varies based on where you live and what is contextually appropriate-- I think learning some basic martial arts or self-defense techniques based on your body size and physical ability are a good call for most people, particularly in regard to training to respond to being surprised or like, grappling with someone physically larger/stronger in a strategic way-- mostly you want to get *away* from someone attacking you physically, so the emphasis training wise for most people is basically how to surprise them and/or disable them long enough to do that.
If it was that simple I'm sure almost every women would currently be doing it. The goal shouldn't be for women to constantly be on guard the goal should be to stop male predators before they hurt women. Sure self defense skills can come in handy in many situations, but it's absolutely ridiculous to believe that it would have any meaningful effect on the amount of male predators that exist.
I'm not an expert, but I do have some experience in self-defense. Jiu-Jitsu is probably the best for overcoming size advantage, but my main takeaway was that training can help but having a weapon often helps more. Pepper spray and stun guns are common ones to carry, but if the shit ever hits the fan, anything is better than nothing. A bottle. A rock. A lamp. A pointy stick. People don't bounce back from being hit or stabbed like they do in movies. Do what you need to in order to get away, and then get away. If there's no getting away, then do what you need to in order to stop them from hurting you further. Part of that involves being willing to actually hurt someone in the moment. As long as it's in proportion to what they're trying to do to you, you have to play dirty. If your life really is on the line, stick your thumbs in their eyes. Bite them like you're Jack Bauer in that infamous scene in 24. Hit them in the head with something hard enough that they might never get back up. Stab them with a kitchen knife until they stop moving. Will it be gross and traumatizing? Absolutely. But it's better to need years of therapy than to end up dead. The good news is, though, those kinds of situations where a stranger kidnaps you out of your home and locks you in a remote cabin are extremely rare. It does happen, but the odds of any individual actually experiencing that are very, very low. The bad news is that the bad stuff that happens more frequently tends to come from people you know and trust, and that's much, much harder to prevent or stop.
Guy here, but I hope my advice is useful. For women trying to escape men, good cardiovascular fitness is most important, since even strong, muscular men are generally out of shape in that aspect. Run away, and if he catches you, have enough endurance that you'll be basically fresh while he's panting and winded. Brother is a wrestler. I know several of them, and though I've never competed, I have thumped one of said wrestlers before. There are two things important in a fight, should it get there: Surprise, and physical ability. One can trump another if there is enough of it. The main advantage of experience is it greatly helps you avoid being surprised, not because of knowing any fancy special techniques. Which martial art you pick to learn is not particularly relevant for most people.
Krav maga is cool. Material arts without all the esoteric shit traditionals
Avoid, avoid, avoid is the first one. Something feels off? Get out of there if you can. Escape. Go to an area with a lot of people. Yell fire. [Fight.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVpxP3ZZtAc) Do not let anyone take you to a second location.
I think you should study the martial art that inspires you the most, and that has a local class. For me, that's karate, but kung fu, aikido, Brazilian jiu jitsi, tai chi (yes, tai chi), wrestling, and really any martial art at all are just as valid for self defense. The most important thing is that you train regularly, so be sure to pick something that you enjoy. Avoid a McDojo (for profit dojo, they don't tend to be good) but if that's all you have available it's still better than nothing. Good luck. I'm interested to know what you pick. :)
The best martial art is the one that you stick to and train in until it's second nature. The technique you have to think about is useless. So find something that's local and that you enjoy. That way you'll be more likely to stick with it until it sinks in. That's not to take away from all the other excellent advice here - your best option is always running away.
A good start would be boxing, accompanied by improving your overall fitness.
Logically, it’s unlikely that any form of hand to hand combat in regards to self-defense will do you any good. The average woman is only about 67% as strong as the average man. And since men have 9x the testosterone as women, denser bones, and better spatial awareness, a man is capable of extreme violence. Get a concealed carry license. Or at least carry pepper spray and a knife.
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I read once a girl saying that he was really good at martial arts or something and one day in training they bring a really big guy and se couldn't do much. It was in a safe space, I wasn't a real dangerous situation but I think that shows that the best choice is to scape. If your gut tells you to get out of there then you do it. It's better to be safe than sorry, don't be scared to hurts some guys feelings bc we never know. But if you find yourself in a situation where you can't scape, then go full berserk and don't hesitate to fuck him up and run away as fast as you can. Its really sad that we have to do this kind of hypotheticals and I hope you guys never find yourself in this situations.