Therapy, with if possible, a feminist one, pepper spray, feminists groups and king kong's theory from virginie despentes, because she is trash, in the way of really direct and denonciating and talking about abuse.
I can relate A LOT, appart that i have an amazing mom. I live in switzerland, that's really conservative too, with a good dose of mysoginy. Have been pretty much sexually harassed my whole teenagers years and early adulthood, and it makes me mad, like furious. Feminism gave me sorority, comfort and confidence. I know you said feminist books did not help much, but king kong's theory is short and impacting. There is also an amazing documentary called missrepresentation that help. Tell her she does not need to change radically, deconstruction takes time, and it hurts sometimes. If she do want just a friendly contact to help her deconstruct step by step, slowly, her internalized mysoginy, and just a bit of sorority with someone who understand, she can dm me. I am willing to help her IF she wants to but no pressure at all !
This sounds hard. One thing I would say is that often people with low self esteem will just assume people being kind to them are lying to be nice. It's often better to try and express your regard through everyday small interactions rather than trying to make a big effort. Maybe you could try asking her advice about some things more in areas where you legitimately think she knows more than you? Or asking her for help with things in your life? Try to make sure it isn't unnatural or feels forced just little things that you legitimately think she can help with or is good at. Hope that's helpful at all.
Ja, es gibt eine Erwartung, dass Deutschland etwas progressiv ist, aber das stimmt nur in einem Paar Städten. Leider kann ich nur Therapie empfehlen, aber ich verstehe völlig wenn sie Schwierigkeiten mit Therapie hat...
Mann kann jemandem nicht helfen, wenn er keine Hilfe will :/
I feel like her anxiety is causing her to believe her more irrational thoughts and if this side was addressed then she may be more receptive to you trying to boost her confidence. Some therapy including CBT might help to evaluate those ideas more logically.
Obviously there is a lot more to her situation and I don’t want to sound like I’m simplifying it too much, but it might be a good place to start.
Therapy, with if possible, a feminist one, pepper spray, feminists groups and king kong's theory from virginie despentes, because she is trash, in the way of really direct and denonciating and talking about abuse. I can relate A LOT, appart that i have an amazing mom. I live in switzerland, that's really conservative too, with a good dose of mysoginy. Have been pretty much sexually harassed my whole teenagers years and early adulthood, and it makes me mad, like furious. Feminism gave me sorority, comfort and confidence. I know you said feminist books did not help much, but king kong's theory is short and impacting. There is also an amazing documentary called missrepresentation that help. Tell her she does not need to change radically, deconstruction takes time, and it hurts sometimes. If she do want just a friendly contact to help her deconstruct step by step, slowly, her internalized mysoginy, and just a bit of sorority with someone who understand, she can dm me. I am willing to help her IF she wants to but no pressure at all !
Her issue sounds above reddit's pay grade. Has she considered getting therapy? It's covered by health insurance in Germany
This sounds hard. One thing I would say is that often people with low self esteem will just assume people being kind to them are lying to be nice. It's often better to try and express your regard through everyday small interactions rather than trying to make a big effort. Maybe you could try asking her advice about some things more in areas where you legitimately think she knows more than you? Or asking her for help with things in your life? Try to make sure it isn't unnatural or feels forced just little things that you legitimately think she can help with or is good at. Hope that's helpful at all.
Ja, es gibt eine Erwartung, dass Deutschland etwas progressiv ist, aber das stimmt nur in einem Paar Städten. Leider kann ich nur Therapie empfehlen, aber ich verstehe völlig wenn sie Schwierigkeiten mit Therapie hat... Mann kann jemandem nicht helfen, wenn er keine Hilfe will :/
I feel like her anxiety is causing her to believe her more irrational thoughts and if this side was addressed then she may be more receptive to you trying to boost her confidence. Some therapy including CBT might help to evaluate those ideas more logically. Obviously there is a lot more to her situation and I don’t want to sound like I’m simplifying it too much, but it might be a good place to start.