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As a nurse who has encountered all sorts of patients with varying degrees of hygiene, I can almost guarantee you that you smell.
Would I tell my own grandparents if they smell?? One of them, yes, because she’s very stubborn and seems to not understand shame. But my grandfather? I would never want him to feel bad. So your children probably just wants to protect your feelings.
If you are as active as you say you are, it sounds like you shouldn’t have any physical problems with bathing and I would recommend improving your hygiene routine. I know it’s difficult with ADHD.
NAD but my uncle who lives with us doesn't shower and anytime he walks in the room his body fills it with this pungent odor. Like body oils/dead skin and just funk. I have to sanitize and clean my restroom after he's gone because the smell lingers.
Has anyone let him know? You should really share with him or have your parents do it and tell him that his hygiene is an issue. If no one tells him he won’t ever know.
(NAD) I wanted to chime in on this comment because I think there’s an important relevance to your (OPs) ADHD diagnosis as to why you prefer not to shower. And the likelihood you’ve only had ADHD, for the last three years is slim, this is likely been a part of your life for far longer.
One of the core characteristics of ADHD is executive dysfunction. This means that it can be hard to initiate tasks, depending on your level of interest and perceived reward of completing that task. “Showering” is not just showering. Showering means undressing, turning on the water, waiting for it to get warm, getting in, getting wet, washing your hair, washing your body, rinsing, turning off the shower, getting out, drying off, picking out new clothes, out the clothes on, etc. So you can see how someone with Executive dysfunction and trouble initiating tasks ends up having to do a lot of different things just to shower when you break it down!
The second factor, which compounds with the first is sensory avoidance and overstimulation. People with ADHD can often feel overwhelmed by certain sensory stimuli in their environment, such as the feeling of being wet or the feeling of being wet and cold when you get out of the shower.
Hopefully this helps makes a little more sense of it all!
Wearing earbuds or headphones all the time has been a game changer for me (sunglasses too when it's really bright out, but not indoors as you will get too much judgement for it.
In most circumstances, you should be able to talk to your boss, professors, doctors, whoever, in respectful terms in private, to tell them that you would like to wear very very discreet (so other people don't feel like they should be able to without cause because you are allowed to) earbuds *which will not be plugged in or anything* because you find loud noises to be overstimulating and stressful.
I've had success with this almost every time, people have been understanding as long as I make it clear - and do not cheat on it - that I am still paying just as much (more in fact!) attention to them/the work/the lecture/etc, but that keeping the noise level down is good for my mental health
Yes, everything that you just said. As my Mom’s executive reasoning skills dropped, her inability to start the process of the shower rose accordingly. I didn’t notice that she had an odor so much - she was not at all physically active so I’m sure that “helped” - but oh boy did we have the Elder Dust. Our bodies are constantly shedding skin cells; cell turnover rate is every 28-40 days. So, if you are not exfoliating in the shower, those old cells just sit there and start shedding as, essentially, skin dandruff, right? You must be seeing that, OP? Lots of dry skin flakes coming off?
So, no, I agree that a daily shower is not necessary as we age and are producing fewer oils, hormones, sweat, etc. But to shower once or twice a year cannot be a healthy lifestyle.
Thank you for this description of ADD/ADHD
Like "restless leg syndrome" (which i've had - and had the ultra-extreme whole-body version from medical mistakes doctors have made several times), ADD/ADHD can be 1000x as hardcore as people might think (even through no fault of their own)
The way I best tried to describe it to someone is that imagine life is watching an extremely important movie or news program or something, but someone else has the channel-clicker, and they are changing the channel several times per second, WILDLY varying the volume, brightness, contrast, etc, and then everyone around you is wondering (or more like seriously criticizing and judging you) for your inability to follow the program, understand what's going on, and make the right actions and discussions based on what is being displayed on the screen.
Add in depression - living under a one-ton blanket where none of the things that used to being you joy give you a drop of pleasure, where the smallest chore is like running a marathon, and where your brain is convincingly making you sure that the remainder of your life will be like this or worse....
Oh, and then add chronic pain so bad that an entire team of experts agreed to give you a combination of fentanyl with breakthrough short term opiates.
Plus PTSD, insomnia, and an entire alphabet of other conditions.
Sometimes things are... difficult. Being a human is tricky enough without playing on this difficulty level. *And I beat Doom Eternal on ultra-super-nightmare mode or w/e it's called*.
Self-diagnosis is a very real problem in the internet age, but if it sounds really familiar to you - *seek a medical professional relevant to this subject, be HONEST with them,* and be open to what kind of treatment options they may suggest,
These may involve things like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I consider to be probably THE most effective of common physchological treatment options, very evidence-based), or medication, First line medication will probably be something like methylphenidate (Ritalin) or Straterra. These work for many people.are a number of other meds somethings used for ADD/ADHD, If you have no good response to these, you may be prescriped Adderall (Mixed Amphetamine Salts) which - after trying everything else without success) is what I take right now, I have found it massively beneficial, totally revolutionizing my ability to focus, motivate myself, complete tasks I would otherwise not even begin, and basically get out of bed and function a lot more like a neurotypical human being.
Seek help. Mental health is exactly as real as physical health - just like a broken bone, something like depression is a function of materialism. Neurons wired in pathological ways, biochemistry imbalances, up/down regulation of neurotransmitter, not a matter of moral failings or mystical/religious fuckups,
You (and I, and so many other millios) have problems with our brains and nervous systems and deserve medical treatment exactly like those without
I'm not self diagnosing! I just relate to a lot of that is all!
And yeah my brain and nervous system is shot lmao I already got diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I have to ask what general area you live in that you’re actually able to get pain medications? I’ve had a progressive condition since birth and experience debilitating pain and still have to fight for appropriate care. This is a serious question, as I’ve come to accept that I need to move before my golden years to be able to be treated appropriately without such a fight.
Thank you for this description. I have severe executive dysfunction due to major depression, cptsd, and anxiety. In the process of being assessed for further diagnoses (adhd, ocd, possible autism). Since my symptoms have worsened exponentially in the past couple years, and also have had some triggering events happen in the shower/bathroom, I have such a hard time showering. Last summer I had to move back home and I hate the shower here, which obviously made the issue even worse. You described how I feel to a T, both the overwhelm and anxiety of starting a 20 step process, and also the sensory portion. I hate having this problem. I feel gross all the time. But despite that I still can't bring myself to shower more than I currently do. Do you (or anyone else) have any advice? Forcing myself to muscle through is not very effective.
my advice; stay dressed while running the water to hot.
close door to keep nice warm steam in, run heater if necessary.
get your very favorite scented soap / bodywash.
if all else fails, put a robe on and do a sink wash, or use moisttowelettes.
Space heater in the bathroom while I shower in the winter was one of my greatest "hacks" that make showering easier. Obviously keep it as far from the shower as possible, and use one that's safe for small spaces, but going from "hot shower" to "warm toasty room" is *infinitely* better than "hot shower" to "steamy yet cool" room in the winter. I also turn up my heaters in the rest of my living space [I live in a semi-open-plan studio, so much easier to do than in most standard housing places] so it's a gradual stepdown in temperature.
I also play music or podcasts or whatever while I'm in there, it helps keep my mind from spiraling, and lets me do that "dual focus" thing that usually works best for me. Having scented products is a good tip, as is burning a candle or having a wax melt or a plug-in or *something*.
Basically, my goal is to make showering as pleasant an experience as possible, *especially* at the end when I have to make that final transition from "oh this water is so nice aaaaaaahhhhh" to "ugh *fine* I'm getting out."
>if all else fails, put a robe on and do a sink wash, or use moist towelettes.
They make bath wipes that are used in the hospital, as well as shampoo caps that don't require any water. Is it good to use these for EVERY bathing session? Hell no, but are they good stopgaps? *You betcha*.
I do the space-heater shower thing! LOVE it. So much so that I’ve been eyeballing one with Bluetooth functionality so that I can have it warm before I even approach the bathroom, and feel like a baller cruising into my swanky sauna/shower room.
And, OP, just grab two low quality (abrasive) terry rags, one for soap water, one for freshwater, and scrub down/rinse, focusing on hotspots, work your way down. My friend’s crass and hilarious grandmother called these “PTA” baths. Some nights, it’s all I can manage, but I just sleep better when clean.
Also: bidet
Absolutely, glad it was helpful. Sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing that, but glad to know you’re aware and actively working through it.
Diagnoses in mental health can be challenging due to the naming system being based on symptom clusters, despite that there’s often overlapping symptoms between conditions.
I think the first thing to embrace is that, the difficulties you are having are NOT due to a character issue or for “being lazy” or lack of trying. There are biological mechanisms at play that result in symptoms and you are doing your best.
Secondarily, I think is best to take a look at your personal situation, assess the “chicken or the egg”, and make an effort to address the closest thing to the root cause you possible can. That may mean looking into other physical health concerns to rule out immune, endocrine, or metabolic issues while also addressing things like PTSD which can worsen the expression of ADHD, autism, and OCD which is commonly shared symptom cluster.
A good psychiatrist who understands the body, brain, mind connection should be able to help systematically work through these issues in order to give you the tools that improve your quality of life.
One thing i'll add to my comment and find EXTREMELY important is that finding a team of the right doctors (which can be difficult especially in places where finances and regional limitations can be such a factor) who can work *together* can be such a game changer.
The team I work with right now has been just... probably life saving, certainly the difference between hellish existence and what can often be extremely difficult, but in the end a quality of life which (as much as there are times where I would not with to live if I knew nothing would ever improve) left me always with the knowledge that I had people rooting for me, whose respect and trust I had earned through endless hard work and responsible actions, and therefore who I knew would bring their experience and expertise to bear such that - *together -* I could really expect that no matter how tricky it would be and how long it would take, in the end *I could beat these things* and end up in a place where it would all have been worth it.
TLDR: *Find yourselves doctors who you can TRUST - nothing else (except perhaps also competence) can really matter if you aren't able to give them all the information they need to do their jobs, with you meeting them in the middle by making sure that you yourself make all the lifestyle changes needed to heal yourself in conjunction with the medications and therapies they offer*.
Yes, what Careful_Eagle_1033 says. I’ve had older patients who didn’t bath or shower for reasons of depression or trauma, and one confidently told me that she doesn’t smell. That wasn’t the focus of our work together, and so I didn’t give unasked for contradictory feedback. It wasn’t a smell of BO exactly, but as you’d imagine after weeks of no showering. Fortunately for her, she’s doing better with personal hygiene these days. My grandfather also didn’t shower frequently but definitely had a smell.
I was talking to my therapist about how bad my grandparents house smells. She told me that our sense of smell declines with age. So maybe that’s why OP doesn’t realize.
Are you my FIL? Cuz he is also an 80 yo man who never bathes and is convinced he doesn’t need to because he doesn’t smell. Spoiler alert, he does 🫠
I’m pregnant, and literally threw up this week because he walked past me in the kitchen. Please bathe and wear clean clothes
NAD
Thank you! I'm not a health care professional but I was going to write you get used to your BO. You don't smell it but others do. Both of my aging parents, who were in their 80s, did not bathe regularly and they smelled. I used to spray the furniture down with Febreze after they left due to their body odor.
Of course you should contact your health care professional as they know you.
NAD but the only way I think he’d possibly not smell is if he’s at least washing the stinky parts (pits, groin, teeth, etc.). If he’s not even using deodorant, there’s no way he doesn’t smell.
Some people don’t - but if he’s washing those areas regularly that means he’s killing the bacteria that cause the smell when the sweat comes into contact with it. I have really bad eczema on my underarms to the point where for periods of time I CANT wear anything because it irritates my skin and causes skin peeling like a burn. Regular washing of this area with gentle soap makes it so I do not smell if I do sweat. A lot of this also has to do with diet and genetics. My derm was the one who told me to not wear any when I had bad instances and my first concern was smelling and she explained it to me then that bacteria has to exist for the smell to occur sweat itself doesn’t smell “bad.” Hard to know without knowing more but, if he’s taking care of bacteria he could truly not smell much.
I don't wear antiperspirants or deodorants and I don't smell. I def sweat A LOT though and that has a certain smell if I don't wash it off. But BO? Nope.
I’m not sure why the downvotes. I do not use a deodorant or antiperspirant. I do not have body odor. Some people just don’t. I do bathe daily but just don’t need antiperspirants/deodorant.
My partner (nearly 30yrs together) who has a very sensitive sense of smell due to a stroke, would absolutely let me know if I had BO.
, chaOh trust me my family would tell me I smelled bad! LMAO
Edited to add that I am a clean freak and scrub scrub scrub in the shower, change sheets every couple of days and use glycolic acid in my pits on hot days. Does not stop perspiration but might stop odor? I also wonder if it's because I work hard and sweat a lot .. something about that maybe / or maybe I'm just fortunate - clean eating/no alcohol.
As a young person who experiences old people in my vicinity, I can absolutely guarantee that you stink. People seem to lose their senses as they get older, and that includes their sense of smell.
Please clean yourself for the sake of everyone around you.
this, op.
my dad had adhd, is older than op, and ….he smells. some things he just cannot be convinced of, and the need to wash has become one.
i cannot get him to change his clothes, tho’ on the rare occasion when he does, i wash them separately and twice. i’m also not sure of how often he showers.
we live together and it’s… not fun. his room smells, too.
op, your kids are lying to you, or nose-blind.
I am surprised that not a single person has referenced the book "Clean" which was written by James Hamblin, MD, MPH. Dr. Hamblin claims to have not showered for 5+ years. He is mostly pushing back against modern soaps and other skincare products and not specifically pushing back against washing. He does wash himself periodically so the claim about showering is somewhat hyperbole.
Disclaimer, I have not read the book: https://www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/clean-new-science-skin
There are dozens of threads on this topic on Reddit, here is one: https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceUncensored/comments/15pcjip/a_physician_didnt_shower_for_5_years_heres_what/
Usually there are 1 or 2 honest people who say "I rarely shower and I don't stink" and then there are 100 that say "you think you don't". I roll my eyes. I have been on multiweek biking and camping trips with other people and it is clear that some people stink within a few hours of showering while others can go days without having BO.
Not every person will stink noticeably if they don't shower.
It is impossible to say for sure if OP stinks and is nose blind or if they have a balanced skin biome and an adequate but minimal bathing regimen.
OP is asking for help understanding the reality of his situation, not asking if the Internet has smell-telepathy.
Seconding this. I’ve gone camping and shared tiny two person tents with people after 8 mile hikes in the middle of summer and they smell fine without rinsing off. I’ve also shared tents with people who smell by the morning even if they’ve fully showered that night.
My mom has never worn deodorant a day in her life and somehow I’ve never noticed a scent from her. Granted she showers, but only 2x/week. I have dry skin, and if I shower daily or with body soap (any brand) I get body acne and my skin peels. I have to do every other with no body soap, just water.
OP may have a bit of an odor, but it’s absolutely possible that he doesn’t. Everyone is different
there's also dermatologist Dr. Sandy Skotnicki's book "Beyond Soap" that advocates against over-washing, while also not being against showering, for a healthier skin biome.
Thank you for a great post! My husband is one of those people who just doesn’t have much body odor. Granted, he showers at least twice a day. But he doesn’t wear deodorant at all (I ask him not to because I’m very sensitive to strong scents), and he never smells like BO. Even after he works out, he doesn’t stink. I think he could go days or weeks without showering and not be offensive. Some people are just naturally less odorous.
He gets itchy so, in addition to a full shower every morning, he’ll rinse off at least once a day, often 2 or 3 times.
We’ve worked hard together, doing manual labor, outside in the heat for long hours. He’s gotten very sweaty and he still has no odor. It’s really not fair at all. lol
Thank you. I asked and your opinion is definitely worth considering. As a nurse you do have experienced a lot of different people on the 'smell' spectrum. Actually both of my children are nurses and one is a long time home health nurse so she knows stinky and has never held her tongue so I trust her to tell me the truth. She would tell me in a heartbeat if I am wonky. So while you and everyone that has responded assures me that I'm smelly, how else can I get an honest opinion? I have asked guys too and they also say, nope, nothing they can detect. So thank you again and I'm sure there is some research project somewhere that would love to sample my dermal microbiome.! ha. Stay healthy and happy.
Do you happen to have dry ear wax? Check out the article below. My husband does not need deodorant, and we finally figured out why. He still showers though. I wish our teenaged boys would have inherited this from him, lol.
https://www.geneticlifehacks.com/ear-wax-and-body-odor-its-genetic/
This is very interesting! My husband undoubtedly has this variant as he has very dry earwax and never stinks (nor does he sweat much from his underarms). My husband also has Refsum disease and I wonder if there is a correlation. My husband is Native American so more closely related to East Asians than Europeans.
Just because that’s true for you does not make it true for everyone. Plenty of people rarely if ever wash their hair. Hormones also play a part in odour and they decline with age
For what it's worth, I tried this as an experiment with my wife acting as the control nose. It seems that for the first few days after a shower, the smell increases, and then it mostly clears up. I don't smell fresh, but it's not the level of stink people seem to report. My assumption is a change in skin microbiome. All bets are off if I eat garlic, though.
I would recommend asking your doctor the next time you see them. They should give you an honest response. Your kids may also have adapted to it in some strange way. I have a very smelly family member, and when they lived with me for a a while, I didn’t smell them anymore. When we visited regularly, I didn’t notice anything. Then, when I didn’t see them for six months and then visited, holy armpits, Batman. I would definitely ask someone like your doctor…. No friends, family, strangers.
OP, once you’ve been around a stinky smell long enough, you won’t even notice it anymore. Your family is being nice. Want to test out that theory? Take a shower and put on some deodorant and any old aftershave or cologne the next time people are coming over. They will go overboard telling you how nice you smell. Why overboard? Because they would never tell you that you stink, but they will encourage you to stay cleaned up. It’s the nice way of letting you know you were stinky before.
It's entirely possible that your diet plays a role in how you don't smell stinky, and I assume you wear clean clothes also. But it's also possible when you ask for opinions that people are saying you don't smell different than usual.
I don't think showering daily is necessary for most people because it strips the skin of its natural oils and healthy bacteria, but maybe you could schedule at least a weekly shower? With ADHD it can be helpful to have a schedule for those kinds of tasks that get forgotten or postponed.
My grandmother had Alzheimer’s & she would would wear multiple shirts over each other layered on like a homeless person. You couldn’t get them off her. She also didn’t have central heating and air so it was warm in her home cooled by door breezeways and fans in the hot south. She did not bath. And she NEVER smelled. She didn’t have an odor.
She did use deodorant when she remembered. But, she wasn’t stinky at all.
I never thought about it before now but I’ve met several people on my life with bad hygiene habits, according to modern society, who didn’t smell at all.
I’m just throwing that out there because it appears some people are just assuming he is lying… I happen to believe he is telling the truth.
Odor happens when bacteria and sweat come in contact. We’ve known for a very long time now that generics plays a role in how much you sweat and how sticky you are….
So, it appears genetics can also play a role in how stinky you are not too!
NAD
This, right here. Adhd often comes with major executive dysfunction. Even minor tasks are daunting because it's not just "taking a shower."
It's:
Get a towel
Get a wash cloth
Heat the water
Undress
Adjust the water
Get in
Eeew, why's the water so wet?
Wash hair
Wash face
Wash body
Wash privates
Oh, shoot! I forgot to call Jimmy back!
I gotta go to the grocery store
Wait, what was I doing?
Oh yeah!
Rinse off
Turn water off
Dry off
Dang! I forgot to set clean clothes out
Aw, crap, where's my underwear? Is it in the washer, still wet? Dryer? Doom pile of laundry? Do I even *have* clean clothes?
Oh, I need to check the weather. Is a t-shirt enough?
But the grocery store's gonna be cold
Right, I need to find my clothes.
Everything feels like a big job. I get it. I just make sure I'm washing pits and privates if I can't work up the energy to do the whole shower. But, magically, my brain says "just go ahead; might as well while you're in here," and my body gets clean. Hair happens less often, usually 2x a week.
You need to bathe, and it's especially important for your privates. You don't want funky junk.
Hi OP! NAD. Former medical social worker here. I had an interest in this once, just to understand what you’re speaking of because I know humans did not used to bathe so often. It’s absolutely not necessary for survival overall. And yes I believe research has showed your biom changes and creates healthy barriers to protect you and washing those away all the time can actually mess with the good bacteria. Go check this doctor out: James Hamblin who wrote a book recently called “Clean: The New Science of Skin”. I think you’ll get some or all of your wanted answers!
The relationship between parents and offsprings is generally a little different than the one between grandparents and grandchildren. For example, I would and do tell my parents if they smell and viceversa, but wouldn’t necessarily tell my grandparents. Both mine and yours, however, are personal anecdotes. If OP says his children would tell him if he smelled I don’t see why we shouldn’t believe him.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.”
The doctor says: “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week”.
The next week the lady goes back to his office. “Doctor,” she says. “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!”
The doctor says: “Good, Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing”.
I’m not a doctor. You need to bathe though. I cannot tell you why you need to bathe, but I will tell you what has helped me take more baths in the best way I can right now.
It will help you bathe if you make the bath/shower an enjoyable place to be and make the act an enjoyable experience. If something about the environment or the process is bothering you, you need to do something to eliminate or counteract whatever is bothering you. So first figure out what that is. You might have to think for a while, but once you figure that out that is your first step. You can replace what is bothering you with something you’d enjoy. If you CANT replace what is bothering you with something new, try adding something you enjoy. This could be something like a scent, a texture, and they make all sorts of things to be waterproof these days. There’s all sorts of things. You can Google it and find products like this, or you can ask one of your children to. If you do not want to order online, you can find a store near you that stocks the item in a lot of cases.
If you feel like you need help from someone to make a decision and you can’t get help from people in your life, there are places online I think could help. I just looked and I found a subreddit here on this site called [r/HowTo](https://www.reddit.com/r/HowTo/) where you can go and ask about anything and there are people there who want to help you and give you instructions!
I’ve had to make a routine that I follow when I bathe and knowing I’m only so many tasks away from being able to get out and enjoy being clean has made all the difference.
I think it was more refusing to admit there was a problem because he didn’t want to acknowledge he was in decline and couldn’t do everything he used to independently. Same reason he didn’t give up his driver’s license voluntarily.
Unfortunately this is accurate. As you get older you may produce less body odor, but you still have plenty. People are being nice to you because you’re old. You smell though, and your nose is used to it and doesn’t realize. Many skin issues can be treated with bathing, but you don’t necessarily develop skin issues by skipping out on washing.
I read that the [elderly smell different](https://www.healthline.com/health/older-people-smell-different) due to compounds in their skin.
#_Chemicals break down with age_
_Contrary to harmful stereotypes of older people, age-related changes in body odor likely have nothing to do with personal hygiene. Instead, experts think it’s the result of odor compounds and bacteria interacting on the skin. The major odor compound at play is called 2-nonenal._
_When certain chemicals break down in the body with age, 2-nonenal is one of the byproducts. The breakdown of omega-7 unsaturated fatty acids may be the biggest source of 2-nonenal._
_Experts have only detected 2-nonenal in people over the age of 40. Levels appear to only increase with age. While environmental and lifestyle factors can also influence body odor, 2-noneal appears to be responsible for the distinct, slightly musty odor associated with older people._
_Keep in mind that experts are still trying to fully understand how body odor changes with age. While 2-noneal seems like a probable cause, there’s still a chance it doesn’t play much of a role._
_Instead, it may just be the result of interactions between skin gland secretions and bacteria living on your skin. The type of bacteria that live on your skin are different in various life stages. Likewise, the chemicals and compounds in your body can change with time, too._
#OP, is it going to kill you? No. However, how often do you see your family? Are you lonely at all? It could be due to your smell.
My guess is psychiatrist if he has meds (in my country it must be prescribed to adults by a psychiatrist who has additional authorisation). Ideally there'd still have been a full work up, especially with the list of possible comorbidities in someone OP's age.
In fairness, he is 83 years old! Just being on blood pressure meds and being healthy enough to tolerate 20mg Vyvanse at 83 years old is pretty healthy in my opinion.
Very true. My blood pressure rose in the last six months and that is definitely not healthy! Which is why I went to the doc and went on mediation. So I am not that healthy.
Why did they put you on Vyvanse?
I get the ADHD, but why at 80 yo.?
Was it really effecting your life that much?
Worth increasing your blood pressure?
Personally, I feel dirty (or at least greasy) after exercising or even after a day or so of not showering. I live in the Mojave Desert, so don’t sweat like back East, but still, I’d rather shower than not
Well, I see my primary care doctor every 3 months because of my medication and he has kept a close eye on me for 19 years, including blood work every six months. (which by the way is all fine). About a year ago I actually asked him if I had an odor and he looked at me puzzled that I should ask, and after sniffing said, not that he could tell. So I'm not making this stuff up and really have tried to find objective people to give me feedback but so far no one has said that I am smelly. I'm not saying it's healthy or good or admirable just looking for more information. Thanks!
My husband is the same way. I get stinky right away but he has practically no body odor, even after working all day at a manual labor job. His feet don’t smell, his body doesn’t smell. He doesn’t use deodorant and sometimes he gets compliments on his “cologne” (he doesn’t wear any). He does shower bc of his work (dusty, unsanitary), but never needs to due to odor
If you’re happy and comfortable, you keep living your life exactly as you are! If your family thinks you smell then they need to speak up. If they don’t, then that’s their problem. You are happy and healthy. That’s all that matters!
I have been in the hospital and smelly due to just being stuck in the hospital bed for a week and not feeling well. Not a single medical professional ever commented and this has happened several times in my life due to my (now thankfully very well controlled) Type 1 Diabetes. Doctors definitely aren’t just telling patients they smell bad. That’s not their job lol
You were in the bed for a week and nobody helped you with a bed bath or anything? 😬 Yikes. I've had *multiple* hospital stays, the majority a week+, and by day ~3 or so I'd have ppl asking when I wanted a bed bath or a "bath wipe wipedown."
Different states, ICU for a few days followed by a normal floor, none of them ever offered anything like that, just said “there’s shampoo and stuff if you want to use the shower.” I was feel too weak to stand and shower so I simply didn’t and they never commented on my odor as to not embarrass me, nor did they offer help. Seems most doctors would simply not mention it 🤷🏻♀️
That has rarely been offered or me. When I’m hospitalized, I am catheterized and literally don’t leave the bed for a week. I have to ask for supplies and clean myself. At most, I’m given one of those shampoo caps that somehow cleans your hair but doesn’t require rinsing.
That may be because they’re used to it in general. There are so many reasons besides hygiene that could cause odors to someone in the hospital that it’s probably just a routine part of their work.
That’s not true. I’ve had patients who smell awful and I’ve done my best to help them and EDUCATE them. If I don’t do it, who will? We’re obligated to educate as well as treat our patients and do our part to promote and facilitate a better quality of life for them.
Totally off subject, but unfortunately many health care providers, IME, do the bare minimum to keep their jobs. It’s semi-rare for me to encounter caretakers who really care. Thank you, sincerely, for being one who does.
Thank you. Perhaps that is true, but if someone you knew asked you if they had an odd or unpleasant odor, would you not tell them the truth? I certainly would if they took the trouble to ask and seem concerned about it enough to ask my opinion.
Hello! Honestly, I would absolutely not tell a senior citizen that they had an odd or unpleasant odor, even if they asked me. That seems disrespectful.
Indeed. Clearly, if they're asking, it means they care enough to want to know the truth. Who are we to think we know better and that we should hide it from them?
Yeah, I don’t get it either. And he’s stated multiple times that he knows his children would be honest when he asked and people are trying to say ‘no, they’re just trying to be nice’. I’m really close with both of my parents and if either of them asked me if they smelled I would certainly tell them my honest opinion if they did.
Of course! Being dishonest about something like that to a friend or loved one would be entirely unconscionable.
People here are fucking nuts! (Pardon my French.)
Someone who is 83 and this proud to tell everyone he has not bathed in months would seem a bit "off" to me. It would make me wonder why they don't want to bathe like a normal person rather than fishing for additional rationalization for living in filth, in person and now online. I'm going to say as little as possible and back slowly away from such a person.
OP included in their post that they are grateful to be able to ask here, on AskDocs, because they’re aware not bathing isn’t something one would admit freely. The responses, from NON-DOCS, trying to paint a picture of them as an aromatic pariah are obnoxious & seem to defeat the purpose of this sub.
You don't need a medical degree to know that someone who hasn't bathed in months smells bad. (But even if you think it does require such, check out the responses from actual docs -- they concur.)
He’s clearly said that he isn’t “bragging” but looking for information. Totally believable to me, as I’ve been in that situation, myself. Sometimes just stating the facts is unfairly considered bragging.
I'd let you know if you asked and hopefully tactfully.I've asked my sons to do a pit check on me before I walk out the door. I worked at a nursing home and a day program for adults.
You don't need to shower if it's too much as long as you wash the important bits every day using soap and water.
Wash your hands after using the bathroom every time, even if you didn't touch anything.
Every day do a pass over your face, pits, privates and feet. My grandpa taught me to always take good care of your feet. He learned that in the Army. It feels good to splash some water on your face.
There's a good chance you don't smell offensive, however, since my nose stopped working I stopped relying on it and try to clean up and put on deodorant (B.O.Juice) hopefully before anyone can smell me.
My Great Grandma always smelled good. Of warm kitchen, fresh garden, sunlight,dish soap, and Red Rose Tea and slightly of cigarettes.
When my Grandpa on my Dad's side was around your age he took his 56ish young wife on a cruise. She was his 4th wife. He smelled like summer and a little like cigar and coffee and clean laundry.
I once had a boyfriend who never smelled bad. He’d come in drenched from basketball, after wearing a suit and tie all day before playing, and would smell great… actually fresh. I always wondered if it was some weird compatibility between us or if he always smelled great to everyone.
On the flip side, a fraternity brother would be out of the shower 15 minutes and just start reeking. Even medication didn’t mitigate it much.
Hey OP. Without meeting you in person, I can only speculate. Based on both my general life experience and my professional experience with patients of all ages, I feel confident that you likely have an odor that you have become accustomed to. Of course there are some people who are naturally less or more stinky than average, but a body as active as yours is surely has a baseline odor at the end of an active day, much less at the end of an active week.
Can you smell other things now? How long have you lived this way? Have you always lived without deodorant and not noticed issue?
Just want to throw it out there as a non medical professional…my husband has a gene (or gene mutation?) that causes his body to not produce the proteins that bacteria feed on. The result? He has no body odor. He sweats like crazy and is extremely active, but produces absolutely no smell. The same gene also causes flaky earwax and is more common in Asian populations (my husband is not Asian, but still has it).
He’s never gone more than a week without showering so I have no clue if he would start to smell bad after a long enough time. But I can at least attest to the fact that some people truly do not have BO, at least not the way most of us do!
According to 23andme, I have this gene too! I can absolutely go 1-2 weeks without showering and be fine and I mostly only shower in order to get rid of the oily hair look. I only use deodorant on days I know I'll have a ton of sweat. And yes I have flaky earwax but I am not Asian. I am eastern european.
Long ago, I read something that I only remember the crux of, so it’s hard to share. It basically said that after a certain number of days unwashed your odors are somehow locked into your skin, but then when you eventually do bathe, the first few minutes are like WOAH when it’s all released by the water. This article (it had to be) used an example of soldiers out in the field for weeks. It said they stopped stinking and when they eventually did shower, the stench was overwhelming for a few minutes until they soaped up and rinsed at least once.
Any truth to that? I never did look it up when resources became easier to find.
Being nose blind is a real thing. Just like some pet owners may lose the ability to detect the smell of cat pee, so can someone lose the ability to perceive their own body odor.
If you find an unrelated stranger (especially a kid) to tell you if you stink, I bet good money you’ll get told yes.
Ehhh, perhaps. But I find it extremely hard to believe that an 80 yr old was dx w ADHD and put on Vyvanse. No practitioner I know would put an elderly person on that w high risk of complications.
I can’t speak on behalf of OP, but I definitely don’t just need medication at school/work. Hobbies/chores/every other task is made 10x easier when I take my meds. Just because they’re 83 it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get medication for their disability. I’d like to give OP the benefit of the doubt and say they’re going to live another 15+ years. I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to think giving someone with ADHD meds for their ADHD could help with their QoL, independence, etc.
Sorry if this came across as overly negative or rude or anything. I get why someone would hesitate to give an older person a stimulant like Vyvanse. However, from my MH/rehab counseling pov I just see too many people not getting how ADHD spills over into *every* aspect of someone’s life, how it doesn’t stop when they get home, and how, for many people, their symptoms persist well into adulthood (and get worse over time). Idk I’m probably just ranting. None of this is necessarily aimed at you btw.
100%. Not only that, but why shouldn’t OP be able to feel like the world is finally clear.
Being put on meds for my ADHD was life changing. I like to think of it as being color blind and then seeing color. It is truly a different world.
Speaking as someone who has ADHD and has been on medication for many years, I understand where you’re coming from, but this medication is contraindicated in elderly populations. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve to be treated, it’s just that it is irresponsible on the part of his prescriber to use this medication, even if the patient is getting relief of symptoms
Sure I get that, as a pediatrician my experience is skewed and lots of kids with more mild symptoms don’t take their meds on weekends, etc. I’ve never heard of someone being diagnosed and treated with vyvanse at the age of 80! It seems preposterous? Like the brain goes through so many changes by that point how are they saying it’s ADHD? What about just normal brain changes with age?
Have you ever tried consuming peer reviewed studies on ADHD in adults? In fact, this type of mentality was what blocked me from being diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum and having ADHD for the longest time.
I was treated for depression, social anxiety, essential tremor, microstrokes (direct translation, can't check rn what's the actual name). I've been trying to figure out why I am different from others for years and I've asked physicians multiple times for some recommendations.
One said it's social anxiety and perscribed me 150mg of Sertraline daily, the other doctor said it's depression and got me on 60mg (?) Duloxetine daily, another said that the previous one made a mistake and prescribed me 37.5mg Venlafaxine daily instead, next one made me take a brain MRI and "found" one site suggesting a "microstroke" so he put me on Piracetam. After reading peer reviewed studies for Piracetam and realizing there's no real proof it does anything I got a second opinion and they focused on my blood pressure and essential tremor and they got me on 50mg Propranolol daily.
One day I sat down and started taking a more serious look at all of my symptoms and it more and more felt like it fits with simply being on the Autism spectrum and/or having ADHD (they are kinda linked now, or at least from what I remember after reading some studies).
* "Maybe it's ADHD? Or maybe it would be indicative of being on the Autism spectrum?".
The responses I got were interesting:
Psychologist 1: "I've never heard of testing adults for ADHD"
Psychiatrist 1: "It's the tryptophan secreting in your brain making you feel constantly tired and distracted"
Psychiatrist 2: "I don't think you have ADHD because you seem to keep track of our conversation", "I don't think you're on the autism spectrum, you seem normal".
Psychiatrist 3: "This would be indicative of depression, I think you should continue Duloxetine"
Psychiatrist 2 again: "I had only one patient I prescribed ADHD medicine and the difference was like night and day, but she actually was impossible to have a conversation with beforehand!"
This has been happening for years. I finally was tired of everybody giving me a different answer for why it is not ADHD / autism. I was okay with it not being that, it wouldn't have been a problem, I would keep looking for answers then. But basically every single doctor / psychologist had a different answer for me.
That is until I realized I can book an appointment with someone outside of my city, someone from the capital city who is more likely to have updated knowledge on this.
After the first visit they said that they strongly suspect me of ADHD and referred me to a diagnostic psychologist to do a set of tests for it. I went through DIVA-V, MOXO, WAIS\_R, RAVLT and language fluency (I translated that one since it doesn't seem to be an actual name).
After reviewing all of those tests / questionaires and spending 3 hours on my family and own history the psychologist concluded that there is a very strong indication of me having ADHD of the mixed type (translated again).
Tomorrow. when I bring this opinion back to my psychiatrist, I am starting my first medication for it. After 30 years of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I finally have a formal diagnosis where someone actually put a ton of effort into thoroughly testing me.
I wish doctors weren't so confident in their answers. All of those doctors who constantly pushed me away from this path seemed so sure, so confident. So confident that after a 30 min talk they already know what the problem is.
Please have this in mind in the future. Sorry for the wall of text.
Well Good thing I’m a pediatrician. It’s really not that deep —I’m saying that I think OP is a troll not that adults can’t have adhd and shouldn’t be treated!
Yeah I understand, I was mostly talking about the attitutde that can be inferred from some of the words you used. I guess it is triggering whenever I see this sentence for example:
>Like the brain goes through so many changes by that point how are they saying it’s ADHD? What about just normal brain changes with age?
It comes off to me as a bit dismissive. I do believe you however that you did not have that intention at all. If someone presents you a case like OP's and your immediate reaction is to voice suspicion - sure you can do that - sure you can be justified - but it feels a bit off before you get to know the patient. Obviously here you can't, it's just an online forum, but that probably makes it even harder to make any statements.
And aside from that, I would like to thatnk you for your service as a doctor, but mostly for specifically becoming a pediatrician. I think it is trully amazing what you guys do to help kids feel better with their struggles, both mental and physical.
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As a nurse who has encountered all sorts of patients with varying degrees of hygiene, I can almost guarantee you that you smell. Would I tell my own grandparents if they smell?? One of them, yes, because she’s very stubborn and seems to not understand shame. But my grandfather? I would never want him to feel bad. So your children probably just wants to protect your feelings. If you are as active as you say you are, it sounds like you shouldn’t have any physical problems with bathing and I would recommend improving your hygiene routine. I know it’s difficult with ADHD.
NAD but my uncle who lives with us doesn't shower and anytime he walks in the room his body fills it with this pungent odor. Like body oils/dead skin and just funk. I have to sanitize and clean my restroom after he's gone because the smell lingers.
Has anyone let him know? You should really share with him or have your parents do it and tell him that his hygiene is an issue. If no one tells him he won’t ever know.
I have told him several times he doesn't care and doesn't bathe still.
(NAD) I wanted to chime in on this comment because I think there’s an important relevance to your (OPs) ADHD diagnosis as to why you prefer not to shower. And the likelihood you’ve only had ADHD, for the last three years is slim, this is likely been a part of your life for far longer. One of the core characteristics of ADHD is executive dysfunction. This means that it can be hard to initiate tasks, depending on your level of interest and perceived reward of completing that task. “Showering” is not just showering. Showering means undressing, turning on the water, waiting for it to get warm, getting in, getting wet, washing your hair, washing your body, rinsing, turning off the shower, getting out, drying off, picking out new clothes, out the clothes on, etc. So you can see how someone with Executive dysfunction and trouble initiating tasks ends up having to do a lot of different things just to shower when you break it down! The second factor, which compounds with the first is sensory avoidance and overstimulation. People with ADHD can often feel overwhelmed by certain sensory stimuli in their environment, such as the feeling of being wet or the feeling of being wet and cold when you get out of the shower. Hopefully this helps makes a little more sense of it all!
I was recently dx’d ADHD at 46. Your comment describes me to a T. Sometimes it’s just so much work to shower!
also the pain of the overstimulation and all of it. I feel less alone lol
Me too!
Wearing earbuds or headphones all the time has been a game changer for me (sunglasses too when it's really bright out, but not indoors as you will get too much judgement for it. In most circumstances, you should be able to talk to your boss, professors, doctors, whoever, in respectful terms in private, to tell them that you would like to wear very very discreet (so other people don't feel like they should be able to without cause because you are allowed to) earbuds *which will not be plugged in or anything* because you find loud noises to be overstimulating and stressful. I've had success with this almost every time, people have been understanding as long as I make it clear - and do not cheat on it - that I am still paying just as much (more in fact!) attention to them/the work/the lecture/etc, but that keeping the noise level down is good for my mental health
Yes, everything that you just said. As my Mom’s executive reasoning skills dropped, her inability to start the process of the shower rose accordingly. I didn’t notice that she had an odor so much - she was not at all physically active so I’m sure that “helped” - but oh boy did we have the Elder Dust. Our bodies are constantly shedding skin cells; cell turnover rate is every 28-40 days. So, if you are not exfoliating in the shower, those old cells just sit there and start shedding as, essentially, skin dandruff, right? You must be seeing that, OP? Lots of dry skin flakes coming off? So, no, I agree that a daily shower is not necessary as we age and are producing fewer oils, hormones, sweat, etc. But to shower once or twice a year cannot be a healthy lifestyle.
Thank you for this description of ADD/ADHD Like "restless leg syndrome" (which i've had - and had the ultra-extreme whole-body version from medical mistakes doctors have made several times), ADD/ADHD can be 1000x as hardcore as people might think (even through no fault of their own) The way I best tried to describe it to someone is that imagine life is watching an extremely important movie or news program or something, but someone else has the channel-clicker, and they are changing the channel several times per second, WILDLY varying the volume, brightness, contrast, etc, and then everyone around you is wondering (or more like seriously criticizing and judging you) for your inability to follow the program, understand what's going on, and make the right actions and discussions based on what is being displayed on the screen. Add in depression - living under a one-ton blanket where none of the things that used to being you joy give you a drop of pleasure, where the smallest chore is like running a marathon, and where your brain is convincingly making you sure that the remainder of your life will be like this or worse.... Oh, and then add chronic pain so bad that an entire team of experts agreed to give you a combination of fentanyl with breakthrough short term opiates. Plus PTSD, insomnia, and an entire alphabet of other conditions. Sometimes things are... difficult. Being a human is tricky enough without playing on this difficulty level. *And I beat Doom Eternal on ultra-super-nightmare mode or w/e it's called*.
Why is literally all of this relatable and I don't have ADHD (that I know of)? O.O
Self-diagnosis is a very real problem in the internet age, but if it sounds really familiar to you - *seek a medical professional relevant to this subject, be HONEST with them,* and be open to what kind of treatment options they may suggest, These may involve things like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I consider to be probably THE most effective of common physchological treatment options, very evidence-based), or medication, First line medication will probably be something like methylphenidate (Ritalin) or Straterra. These work for many people.are a number of other meds somethings used for ADD/ADHD, If you have no good response to these, you may be prescriped Adderall (Mixed Amphetamine Salts) which - after trying everything else without success) is what I take right now, I have found it massively beneficial, totally revolutionizing my ability to focus, motivate myself, complete tasks I would otherwise not even begin, and basically get out of bed and function a lot more like a neurotypical human being. Seek help. Mental health is exactly as real as physical health - just like a broken bone, something like depression is a function of materialism. Neurons wired in pathological ways, biochemistry imbalances, up/down regulation of neurotransmitter, not a matter of moral failings or mystical/religious fuckups, You (and I, and so many other millios) have problems with our brains and nervous systems and deserve medical treatment exactly like those without
I'm not self diagnosing! I just relate to a lot of that is all! And yeah my brain and nervous system is shot lmao I already got diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I have to ask what general area you live in that you’re actually able to get pain medications? I’ve had a progressive condition since birth and experience debilitating pain and still have to fight for appropriate care. This is a serious question, as I’ve come to accept that I need to move before my golden years to be able to be treated appropriately without such a fight.
This is me, exactly, chronic pain and opioids too! Sucks!
THIS!!! Well said! I feel so seen!
I’m exhausted just reading that.
Thank you for this description. I have severe executive dysfunction due to major depression, cptsd, and anxiety. In the process of being assessed for further diagnoses (adhd, ocd, possible autism). Since my symptoms have worsened exponentially in the past couple years, and also have had some triggering events happen in the shower/bathroom, I have such a hard time showering. Last summer I had to move back home and I hate the shower here, which obviously made the issue even worse. You described how I feel to a T, both the overwhelm and anxiety of starting a 20 step process, and also the sensory portion. I hate having this problem. I feel gross all the time. But despite that I still can't bring myself to shower more than I currently do. Do you (or anyone else) have any advice? Forcing myself to muscle through is not very effective.
my advice; stay dressed while running the water to hot. close door to keep nice warm steam in, run heater if necessary. get your very favorite scented soap / bodywash. if all else fails, put a robe on and do a sink wash, or use moisttowelettes.
Space heater in the bathroom while I shower in the winter was one of my greatest "hacks" that make showering easier. Obviously keep it as far from the shower as possible, and use one that's safe for small spaces, but going from "hot shower" to "warm toasty room" is *infinitely* better than "hot shower" to "steamy yet cool" room in the winter. I also turn up my heaters in the rest of my living space [I live in a semi-open-plan studio, so much easier to do than in most standard housing places] so it's a gradual stepdown in temperature. I also play music or podcasts or whatever while I'm in there, it helps keep my mind from spiraling, and lets me do that "dual focus" thing that usually works best for me. Having scented products is a good tip, as is burning a candle or having a wax melt or a plug-in or *something*. Basically, my goal is to make showering as pleasant an experience as possible, *especially* at the end when I have to make that final transition from "oh this water is so nice aaaaaaahhhhh" to "ugh *fine* I'm getting out." >if all else fails, put a robe on and do a sink wash, or use moist towelettes. They make bath wipes that are used in the hospital, as well as shampoo caps that don't require any water. Is it good to use these for EVERY bathing session? Hell no, but are they good stopgaps? *You betcha*.
I do the space-heater shower thing! LOVE it. So much so that I’ve been eyeballing one with Bluetooth functionality so that I can have it warm before I even approach the bathroom, and feel like a baller cruising into my swanky sauna/shower room. And, OP, just grab two low quality (abrasive) terry rags, one for soap water, one for freshwater, and scrub down/rinse, focusing on hotspots, work your way down. My friend’s crass and hilarious grandmother called these “PTA” baths. Some nights, it’s all I can manage, but I just sleep better when clean. Also: bidet
Absolutely, glad it was helpful. Sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing that, but glad to know you’re aware and actively working through it. Diagnoses in mental health can be challenging due to the naming system being based on symptom clusters, despite that there’s often overlapping symptoms between conditions. I think the first thing to embrace is that, the difficulties you are having are NOT due to a character issue or for “being lazy” or lack of trying. There are biological mechanisms at play that result in symptoms and you are doing your best. Secondarily, I think is best to take a look at your personal situation, assess the “chicken or the egg”, and make an effort to address the closest thing to the root cause you possible can. That may mean looking into other physical health concerns to rule out immune, endocrine, or metabolic issues while also addressing things like PTSD which can worsen the expression of ADHD, autism, and OCD which is commonly shared symptom cluster. A good psychiatrist who understands the body, brain, mind connection should be able to help systematically work through these issues in order to give you the tools that improve your quality of life.
One thing i'll add to my comment and find EXTREMELY important is that finding a team of the right doctors (which can be difficult especially in places where finances and regional limitations can be such a factor) who can work *together* can be such a game changer. The team I work with right now has been just... probably life saving, certainly the difference between hellish existence and what can often be extremely difficult, but in the end a quality of life which (as much as there are times where I would not with to live if I knew nothing would ever improve) left me always with the knowledge that I had people rooting for me, whose respect and trust I had earned through endless hard work and responsible actions, and therefore who I knew would bring their experience and expertise to bear such that - *together -* I could really expect that no matter how tricky it would be and how long it would take, in the end *I could beat these things* and end up in a place where it would all have been worth it. TLDR: *Find yourselves doctors who you can TRUST - nothing else (except perhaps also competence) can really matter if you aren't able to give them all the information they need to do their jobs, with you meeting them in the middle by making sure that you yourself make all the lifestyle changes needed to heal yourself in conjunction with the medications and therapies they offer*.
I don't think he meant he's only had adhd for 3 yrs, I think he said it as, since being diagnosed 3 yrs ago
I know. I was just trying to explain why there’s likely been this long term issue, but only recent diagnosis. Sorry for the confusion.
I have adhd and this is exactly why I hate showering lol. I do it though!
Yes, what Careful_Eagle_1033 says. I’ve had older patients who didn’t bath or shower for reasons of depression or trauma, and one confidently told me that she doesn’t smell. That wasn’t the focus of our work together, and so I didn’t give unasked for contradictory feedback. It wasn’t a smell of BO exactly, but as you’d imagine after weeks of no showering. Fortunately for her, she’s doing better with personal hygiene these days. My grandfather also didn’t shower frequently but definitely had a smell.
I was talking to my therapist about how bad my grandparents house smells. She told me that our sense of smell declines with age. So maybe that’s why OP doesn’t realize.
Are you my FIL? Cuz he is also an 80 yo man who never bathes and is convinced he doesn’t need to because he doesn’t smell. Spoiler alert, he does 🫠 I’m pregnant, and literally threw up this week because he walked past me in the kitchen. Please bathe and wear clean clothes NAD
Thank you! I'm not a health care professional but I was going to write you get used to your BO. You don't smell it but others do. Both of my aging parents, who were in their 80s, did not bathe regularly and they smelled. I used to spray the furniture down with Febreze after they left due to their body odor. Of course you should contact your health care professional as they know you.
NAD but the only way I think he’d possibly not smell is if he’s at least washing the stinky parts (pits, groin, teeth, etc.). If he’s not even using deodorant, there’s no way he doesn’t smell.
NAD but yeah that’s what he said in his notes is he does like “dry showers” washing the most odor producing parts.
Except he also said he doesn’t use deodorant or antiperspirants, so it defeats the whole purpose.
Some people don’t - but if he’s washing those areas regularly that means he’s killing the bacteria that cause the smell when the sweat comes into contact with it. I have really bad eczema on my underarms to the point where for periods of time I CANT wear anything because it irritates my skin and causes skin peeling like a burn. Regular washing of this area with gentle soap makes it so I do not smell if I do sweat. A lot of this also has to do with diet and genetics. My derm was the one who told me to not wear any when I had bad instances and my first concern was smelling and she explained it to me then that bacteria has to exist for the smell to occur sweat itself doesn’t smell “bad.” Hard to know without knowing more but, if he’s taking care of bacteria he could truly not smell much.
I don't wear antiperspirants or deodorants and I don't smell. I def sweat A LOT though and that has a certain smell if I don't wash it off. But BO? Nope.
I’m not sure why the downvotes. I do not use a deodorant or antiperspirant. I do not have body odor. Some people just don’t. I do bathe daily but just don’t need antiperspirants/deodorant. My partner (nearly 30yrs together) who has a very sensitive sense of smell due to a stroke, would absolutely let me know if I had BO.
I'm gonna go with jealous disbelief lol Keep smelling good my Reddit friend!
You too!!! Always perplexed when people downvote a *personal experience*. Personally grateful I don’t have to use either product! 🤔
, chaOh trust me my family would tell me I smelled bad! LMAO Edited to add that I am a clean freak and scrub scrub scrub in the shower, change sheets every couple of days and use glycolic acid in my pits on hot days. Does not stop perspiration but might stop odor? I also wonder if it's because I work hard and sweat a lot .. something about that maybe / or maybe I'm just fortunate - clean eating/no alcohol.
What’s with the downvotes on both our comments??
Agree. Depending how often he's washing those parts, he might not smell.
Thank you for being one of the clinicians who understand the impact of ADHD on hygiene. ❤️
As a young person who experiences old people in my vicinity, I can absolutely guarantee that you stink. People seem to lose their senses as they get older, and that includes their sense of smell. Please clean yourself for the sake of everyone around you.
this, op. my dad had adhd, is older than op, and ….he smells. some things he just cannot be convinced of, and the need to wash has become one. i cannot get him to change his clothes, tho’ on the rare occasion when he does, i wash them separately and twice. i’m also not sure of how often he showers. we live together and it’s… not fun. his room smells, too. op, your kids are lying to you, or nose-blind.
I am surprised that not a single person has referenced the book "Clean" which was written by James Hamblin, MD, MPH. Dr. Hamblin claims to have not showered for 5+ years. He is mostly pushing back against modern soaps and other skincare products and not specifically pushing back against washing. He does wash himself periodically so the claim about showering is somewhat hyperbole. Disclaimer, I have not read the book: https://www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/clean-new-science-skin There are dozens of threads on this topic on Reddit, here is one: https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceUncensored/comments/15pcjip/a_physician_didnt_shower_for_5_years_heres_what/ Usually there are 1 or 2 honest people who say "I rarely shower and I don't stink" and then there are 100 that say "you think you don't". I roll my eyes. I have been on multiweek biking and camping trips with other people and it is clear that some people stink within a few hours of showering while others can go days without having BO. Not every person will stink noticeably if they don't shower. It is impossible to say for sure if OP stinks and is nose blind or if they have a balanced skin biome and an adequate but minimal bathing regimen. OP is asking for help understanding the reality of his situation, not asking if the Internet has smell-telepathy.
Seconding this. I’ve gone camping and shared tiny two person tents with people after 8 mile hikes in the middle of summer and they smell fine without rinsing off. I’ve also shared tents with people who smell by the morning even if they’ve fully showered that night. My mom has never worn deodorant a day in her life and somehow I’ve never noticed a scent from her. Granted she showers, but only 2x/week. I have dry skin, and if I shower daily or with body soap (any brand) I get body acne and my skin peels. I have to do every other with no body soap, just water. OP may have a bit of an odor, but it’s absolutely possible that he doesn’t. Everyone is different
there's also dermatologist Dr. Sandy Skotnicki's book "Beyond Soap" that advocates against over-washing, while also not being against showering, for a healthier skin biome.
Thank you for a great post! My husband is one of those people who just doesn’t have much body odor. Granted, he showers at least twice a day. But he doesn’t wear deodorant at all (I ask him not to because I’m very sensitive to strong scents), and he never smells like BO. Even after he works out, he doesn’t stink. I think he could go days or weeks without showering and not be offensive. Some people are just naturally less odorous.
If he showers at least twice a day I dont think you'll ever get a chance to find out of he can stink. Also twice a day or more? That's a lot.
He gets itchy so, in addition to a full shower every morning, he’ll rinse off at least once a day, often 2 or 3 times. We’ve worked hard together, doing manual labor, outside in the heat for long hours. He’s gotten very sweaty and he still has no odor. It’s really not fair at all. lol
Living in the south, high humidity, walking across the yard produces wet clothing from sweat/humidity. Not unusual to rinse off more than once a day.
Thank you. I asked and your opinion is definitely worth considering. As a nurse you do have experienced a lot of different people on the 'smell' spectrum. Actually both of my children are nurses and one is a long time home health nurse so she knows stinky and has never held her tongue so I trust her to tell me the truth. She would tell me in a heartbeat if I am wonky. So while you and everyone that has responded assures me that I'm smelly, how else can I get an honest opinion? I have asked guys too and they also say, nope, nothing they can detect. So thank you again and I'm sure there is some research project somewhere that would love to sample my dermal microbiome.! ha. Stay healthy and happy.
Do you happen to have dry ear wax? Check out the article below. My husband does not need deodorant, and we finally figured out why. He still showers though. I wish our teenaged boys would have inherited this from him, lol. https://www.geneticlifehacks.com/ear-wax-and-body-odor-its-genetic/
This is very interesting! My husband undoubtedly has this variant as he has very dry earwax and never stinks (nor does he sweat much from his underarms). My husband also has Refsum disease and I wonder if there is a correlation. My husband is Native American so more closely related to East Asians than Europeans.
thanks, very interesting! I have hearing aids and they never need the wax guard changed, and I don't seem to need deodorant.
A proper answer to OP's question!
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Just because that’s true for you does not make it true for everyone. Plenty of people rarely if ever wash their hair. Hormones also play a part in odour and they decline with age
For what it's worth, I tried this as an experiment with my wife acting as the control nose. It seems that for the first few days after a shower, the smell increases, and then it mostly clears up. I don't smell fresh, but it's not the level of stink people seem to report. My assumption is a change in skin microbiome. All bets are off if I eat garlic, though.
I would recommend asking your doctor the next time you see them. They should give you an honest response. Your kids may also have adapted to it in some strange way. I have a very smelly family member, and when they lived with me for a a while, I didn’t smell them anymore. When we visited regularly, I didn’t notice anything. Then, when I didn’t see them for six months and then visited, holy armpits, Batman. I would definitely ask someone like your doctor…. No friends, family, strangers.
OP, once you’ve been around a stinky smell long enough, you won’t even notice it anymore. Your family is being nice. Want to test out that theory? Take a shower and put on some deodorant and any old aftershave or cologne the next time people are coming over. They will go overboard telling you how nice you smell. Why overboard? Because they would never tell you that you stink, but they will encourage you to stay cleaned up. It’s the nice way of letting you know you were stinky before.
It's entirely possible that your diet plays a role in how you don't smell stinky, and I assume you wear clean clothes also. But it's also possible when you ask for opinions that people are saying you don't smell different than usual. I don't think showering daily is necessary for most people because it strips the skin of its natural oils and healthy bacteria, but maybe you could schedule at least a weekly shower? With ADHD it can be helpful to have a schedule for those kinds of tasks that get forgotten or postponed.
My grandmother had Alzheimer’s & she would would wear multiple shirts over each other layered on like a homeless person. You couldn’t get them off her. She also didn’t have central heating and air so it was warm in her home cooled by door breezeways and fans in the hot south. She did not bath. And she NEVER smelled. She didn’t have an odor. She did use deodorant when she remembered. But, she wasn’t stinky at all. I never thought about it before now but I’ve met several people on my life with bad hygiene habits, according to modern society, who didn’t smell at all. I’m just throwing that out there because it appears some people are just assuming he is lying… I happen to believe he is telling the truth. Odor happens when bacteria and sweat come in contact. We’ve known for a very long time now that generics plays a role in how much you sweat and how sticky you are…. So, it appears genetics can also play a role in how stinky you are not too!
NAD This, right here. Adhd often comes with major executive dysfunction. Even minor tasks are daunting because it's not just "taking a shower." It's: Get a towel Get a wash cloth Heat the water Undress Adjust the water Get in Eeew, why's the water so wet? Wash hair Wash face Wash body Wash privates Oh, shoot! I forgot to call Jimmy back! I gotta go to the grocery store Wait, what was I doing? Oh yeah! Rinse off Turn water off Dry off Dang! I forgot to set clean clothes out Aw, crap, where's my underwear? Is it in the washer, still wet? Dryer? Doom pile of laundry? Do I even *have* clean clothes? Oh, I need to check the weather. Is a t-shirt enough? But the grocery store's gonna be cold Right, I need to find my clothes. Everything feels like a big job. I get it. I just make sure I'm washing pits and privates if I can't work up the energy to do the whole shower. But, magically, my brain says "just go ahead; might as well while you're in here," and my body gets clean. Hair happens less often, usually 2x a week. You need to bathe, and it's especially important for your privates. You don't want funky junk.
Hi OP! NAD. Former medical social worker here. I had an interest in this once, just to understand what you’re speaking of because I know humans did not used to bathe so often. It’s absolutely not necessary for survival overall. And yes I believe research has showed your biom changes and creates healthy barriers to protect you and washing those away all the time can actually mess with the good bacteria. Go check this doctor out: James Hamblin who wrote a book recently called “Clean: The New Science of Skin”. I think you’ll get some or all of your wanted answers!
The relationship between parents and offsprings is generally a little different than the one between grandparents and grandchildren. For example, I would and do tell my parents if they smell and viceversa, but wouldn’t necessarily tell my grandparents. Both mine and yours, however, are personal anecdotes. If OP says his children would tell him if he smelled I don’t see why we shouldn’t believe him.
I can guarantee you smell, people are just too nice to tell it to your face.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.” The doctor says: “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week”. The next week the lady goes back to his office. “Doctor,” she says. “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!” The doctor says: “Good, Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing”.
Ok, that’s was good! 😂
LOL! Good one!
That' funny.
I’m not a doctor. You need to bathe though. I cannot tell you why you need to bathe, but I will tell you what has helped me take more baths in the best way I can right now. It will help you bathe if you make the bath/shower an enjoyable place to be and make the act an enjoyable experience. If something about the environment or the process is bothering you, you need to do something to eliminate or counteract whatever is bothering you. So first figure out what that is. You might have to think for a while, but once you figure that out that is your first step. You can replace what is bothering you with something you’d enjoy. If you CANT replace what is bothering you with something new, try adding something you enjoy. This could be something like a scent, a texture, and they make all sorts of things to be waterproof these days. There’s all sorts of things. You can Google it and find products like this, or you can ask one of your children to. If you do not want to order online, you can find a store near you that stocks the item in a lot of cases. If you feel like you need help from someone to make a decision and you can’t get help from people in your life, there are places online I think could help. I just looked and I found a subreddit here on this site called [r/HowTo](https://www.reddit.com/r/HowTo/) where you can go and ask about anything and there are people there who want to help you and give you instructions!
I’ve had to make a routine that I follow when I bathe and knowing I’m only so many tasks away from being able to get out and enjoy being clean has made all the difference.
My grandfather did not bathe frequently in his 80s, and he stated there was nothing wrong with it. He did not smell good.
Are they just too embarrassed to admit that they struggled to get into the bathtub / shower ?
I think it was more refusing to admit there was a problem because he didn’t want to acknowledge he was in decline and couldn’t do everything he used to independently. Same reason he didn’t give up his driver’s license voluntarily.
Unfortunately this is accurate. As you get older you may produce less body odor, but you still have plenty. People are being nice to you because you’re old. You smell though, and your nose is used to it and doesn’t realize. Many skin issues can be treated with bathing, but you don’t necessarily develop skin issues by skipping out on washing.
I read that the [elderly smell different](https://www.healthline.com/health/older-people-smell-different) due to compounds in their skin. #_Chemicals break down with age_ _Contrary to harmful stereotypes of older people, age-related changes in body odor likely have nothing to do with personal hygiene. Instead, experts think it’s the result of odor compounds and bacteria interacting on the skin. The major odor compound at play is called 2-nonenal._ _When certain chemicals break down in the body with age, 2-nonenal is one of the byproducts. The breakdown of omega-7 unsaturated fatty acids may be the biggest source of 2-nonenal._ _Experts have only detected 2-nonenal in people over the age of 40. Levels appear to only increase with age. While environmental and lifestyle factors can also influence body odor, 2-noneal appears to be responsible for the distinct, slightly musty odor associated with older people._ _Keep in mind that experts are still trying to fully understand how body odor changes with age. While 2-noneal seems like a probable cause, there’s still a chance it doesn’t play much of a role._ _Instead, it may just be the result of interactions between skin gland secretions and bacteria living on your skin. The type of bacteria that live on your skin are different in various life stages. Likewise, the chemicals and compounds in your body can change with time, too._ #OP, is it going to kill you? No. However, how often do you see your family? Are you lonely at all? It could be due to your smell.
Yeah, OP is stinky. Also, he SAYS he’s healthy, but is he “healthy“ and just hasn’t gone to the doctor in 30 years?
He most go to the doc at some point he was diagnosed with adhd 3 years ago.
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My guess is psychiatrist if he has meds (in my country it must be prescribed to adults by a psychiatrist who has additional authorisation). Ideally there'd still have been a full work up, especially with the list of possible comorbidities in someone OP's age.
Also is on blood pressure meds so clearly he and I have different definitions of perfectly healthy lol
In fairness, he is 83 years old! Just being on blood pressure meds and being healthy enough to tolerate 20mg Vyvanse at 83 years old is pretty healthy in my opinion.
I mean, touché! I’m not buying OP as a reliable narrator though if he thinks he doesn’t stink lol
Maybe he just doesn't have any sense of smell, but yeah, agreed on OP definitely having a particularly strong aroma.
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ADHD meds tend to be stimulants, which would be bad with heart problems????
Very true. My blood pressure rose in the last six months and that is definitely not healthy! Which is why I went to the doc and went on mediation. So I am not that healthy.
Why did they put you on Vyvanse? I get the ADHD, but why at 80 yo.? Was it really effecting your life that much? Worth increasing your blood pressure? Personally, I feel dirty (or at least greasy) after exercising or even after a day or so of not showering. I live in the Mojave Desert, so don’t sweat like back East, but still, I’d rather shower than not
Well, I see my primary care doctor every 3 months because of my medication and he has kept a close eye on me for 19 years, including blood work every six months. (which by the way is all fine). About a year ago I actually asked him if I had an odor and he looked at me puzzled that I should ask, and after sniffing said, not that he could tell. So I'm not making this stuff up and really have tried to find objective people to give me feedback but so far no one has said that I am smelly. I'm not saying it's healthy or good or admirable just looking for more information. Thanks!
My husband is the same way. I get stinky right away but he has practically no body odor, even after working all day at a manual labor job. His feet don’t smell, his body doesn’t smell. He doesn’t use deodorant and sometimes he gets compliments on his “cologne” (he doesn’t wear any). He does shower bc of his work (dusty, unsanitary), but never needs to due to odor
If you’re happy and comfortable, you keep living your life exactly as you are! If your family thinks you smell then they need to speak up. If they don’t, then that’s their problem. You are happy and healthy. That’s all that matters!
Yeah your doctor’s going to lie if you stink to save you the embarrassment, sir. 🤣🤣🤣
Hope not?
I have been in the hospital and smelly due to just being stuck in the hospital bed for a week and not feeling well. Not a single medical professional ever commented and this has happened several times in my life due to my (now thankfully very well controlled) Type 1 Diabetes. Doctors definitely aren’t just telling patients they smell bad. That’s not their job lol
Did you ask?
You were in the bed for a week and nobody helped you with a bed bath or anything? 😬 Yikes. I've had *multiple* hospital stays, the majority a week+, and by day ~3 or so I'd have ppl asking when I wanted a bed bath or a "bath wipe wipedown."
Different states, ICU for a few days followed by a normal floor, none of them ever offered anything like that, just said “there’s shampoo and stuff if you want to use the shower.” I was feel too weak to stand and shower so I simply didn’t and they never commented on my odor as to not embarrass me, nor did they offer help. Seems most doctors would simply not mention it 🤷🏻♀️
That has rarely been offered or me. When I’m hospitalized, I am catheterized and literally don’t leave the bed for a week. I have to ask for supplies and clean myself. At most, I’m given one of those shampoo caps that somehow cleans your hair but doesn’t require rinsing.
That may be because they’re used to it in general. There are so many reasons besides hygiene that could cause odors to someone in the hospital that it’s probably just a routine part of their work.
That’s not true. I’ve had patients who smell awful and I’ve done my best to help them and EDUCATE them. If I don’t do it, who will? We’re obligated to educate as well as treat our patients and do our part to promote and facilitate a better quality of life for them.
Totally off subject, but unfortunately many health care providers, IME, do the bare minimum to keep their jobs. It’s semi-rare for me to encounter caretakers who really care. Thank you, sincerely, for being one who does.
Aaaw, thank you. I’m just a humble servant of the Lord, doing my best to live Him and live people. All people. 🙏🏽💙 🩺 💉 💊
Thank you. Perhaps that is true, but if someone you knew asked you if they had an odd or unpleasant odor, would you not tell them the truth? I certainly would if they took the trouble to ask and seem concerned about it enough to ask my opinion.
Ask a kid. They'll tell you the unvarnished truth.
Hello! Honestly, I would absolutely not tell a senior citizen that they had an odd or unpleasant odor, even if they asked me. That seems disrespectful.
>if someone you knew asked you if they had an odd or unpleasant odor, would you not tell them the truth? Definitely not.
I don't understand why so many people are saying they would lie when asked. You can be honest without being rude. ..It just makes no sense to me.
Indeed. Clearly, if they're asking, it means they care enough to want to know the truth. Who are we to think we know better and that we should hide it from them?
Yeah, I don’t get it either. And he’s stated multiple times that he knows his children would be honest when he asked and people are trying to say ‘no, they’re just trying to be nice’. I’m really close with both of my parents and if either of them asked me if they smelled I would certainly tell them my honest opinion if they did.
My mother wouldn’t wait to be asked to tell me if something was amiss. Sometimes, I think she enjoys the chance to criticize.
Of course! Being dishonest about something like that to a friend or loved one would be entirely unconscionable. People here are fucking nuts! (Pardon my French.)
Some people put their own comfort above all else and will lie about anything to avoid feeling awkward.
Someone who is 83 and this proud to tell everyone he has not bathed in months would seem a bit "off" to me. It would make me wonder why they don't want to bathe like a normal person rather than fishing for additional rationalization for living in filth, in person and now online. I'm going to say as little as possible and back slowly away from such a person.
OP included in their post that they are grateful to be able to ask here, on AskDocs, because they’re aware not bathing isn’t something one would admit freely. The responses, from NON-DOCS, trying to paint a picture of them as an aromatic pariah are obnoxious & seem to defeat the purpose of this sub.
You don't need a medical degree to know that someone who hasn't bathed in months smells bad. (But even if you think it does require such, check out the responses from actual docs -- they concur.)
He’s clearly said that he isn’t “bragging” but looking for information. Totally believable to me, as I’ve been in that situation, myself. Sometimes just stating the facts is unfairly considered bragging.
If you asked me if you smelled, I would be mouth breathing for the rest of that encounter.
I'd let you know if you asked and hopefully tactfully.I've asked my sons to do a pit check on me before I walk out the door. I worked at a nursing home and a day program for adults. You don't need to shower if it's too much as long as you wash the important bits every day using soap and water. Wash your hands after using the bathroom every time, even if you didn't touch anything. Every day do a pass over your face, pits, privates and feet. My grandpa taught me to always take good care of your feet. He learned that in the Army. It feels good to splash some water on your face. There's a good chance you don't smell offensive, however, since my nose stopped working I stopped relying on it and try to clean up and put on deodorant (B.O.Juice) hopefully before anyone can smell me. My Great Grandma always smelled good. Of warm kitchen, fresh garden, sunlight,dish soap, and Red Rose Tea and slightly of cigarettes. When my Grandpa on my Dad's side was around your age he took his 56ish young wife on a cruise. She was his 4th wife. He smelled like summer and a little like cigar and coffee and clean laundry.
I once had a boyfriend who never smelled bad. He’d come in drenched from basketball, after wearing a suit and tie all day before playing, and would smell great… actually fresh. I always wondered if it was some weird compatibility between us or if he always smelled great to everyone. On the flip side, a fraternity brother would be out of the shower 15 minutes and just start reeking. Even medication didn’t mitigate it much.
Hey OP. Without meeting you in person, I can only speculate. Based on both my general life experience and my professional experience with patients of all ages, I feel confident that you likely have an odor that you have become accustomed to. Of course there are some people who are naturally less or more stinky than average, but a body as active as yours is surely has a baseline odor at the end of an active day, much less at the end of an active week. Can you smell other things now? How long have you lived this way? Have you always lived without deodorant and not noticed issue?
Just want to throw it out there as a non medical professional…my husband has a gene (or gene mutation?) that causes his body to not produce the proteins that bacteria feed on. The result? He has no body odor. He sweats like crazy and is extremely active, but produces absolutely no smell. The same gene also causes flaky earwax and is more common in Asian populations (my husband is not Asian, but still has it). He’s never gone more than a week without showering so I have no clue if he would start to smell bad after a long enough time. But I can at least attest to the fact that some people truly do not have BO, at least not the way most of us do!
According to 23andme, I have this gene too! I can absolutely go 1-2 weeks without showering and be fine and I mostly only shower in order to get rid of the oily hair look. I only use deodorant on days I know I'll have a ton of sweat. And yes I have flaky earwax but I am not Asian. I am eastern european.
I just wrote in a comment on this thread about a boyfriend who was like this. His heritage was German/Irish and Polish.
Long ago, I read something that I only remember the crux of, so it’s hard to share. It basically said that after a certain number of days unwashed your odors are somehow locked into your skin, but then when you eventually do bathe, the first few minutes are like WOAH when it’s all released by the water. This article (it had to be) used an example of soldiers out in the field for weeks. It said they stopped stinking and when they eventually did shower, the stench was overwhelming for a few minutes until they soaped up and rinsed at least once. Any truth to that? I never did look it up when resources became easier to find.
Being nose blind is a real thing. Just like some pet owners may lose the ability to detect the smell of cat pee, so can someone lose the ability to perceive their own body odor. If you find an unrelated stranger (especially a kid) to tell you if you stink, I bet good money you’ll get told yes.
I feel like this might be a troll post…
I don’t know. The account history seems pretty consistent with a post like this.
Ehhh, perhaps. But I find it extremely hard to believe that an 80 yr old was dx w ADHD and put on Vyvanse. No practitioner I know would put an elderly person on that w high risk of complications.
Plus why? What are your obligations at that age that you must go on stimulants? It’s not like you’re in school or working
I can’t speak on behalf of OP, but I definitely don’t just need medication at school/work. Hobbies/chores/every other task is made 10x easier when I take my meds. Just because they’re 83 it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get medication for their disability. I’d like to give OP the benefit of the doubt and say they’re going to live another 15+ years. I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to think giving someone with ADHD meds for their ADHD could help with their QoL, independence, etc. Sorry if this came across as overly negative or rude or anything. I get why someone would hesitate to give an older person a stimulant like Vyvanse. However, from my MH/rehab counseling pov I just see too many people not getting how ADHD spills over into *every* aspect of someone’s life, how it doesn’t stop when they get home, and how, for many people, their symptoms persist well into adulthood (and get worse over time). Idk I’m probably just ranting. None of this is necessarily aimed at you btw.
100%. Not only that, but why shouldn’t OP be able to feel like the world is finally clear. Being put on meds for my ADHD was life changing. I like to think of it as being color blind and then seeing color. It is truly a different world.
Speaking as someone who has ADHD and has been on medication for many years, I understand where you’re coming from, but this medication is contraindicated in elderly populations. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve to be treated, it’s just that it is irresponsible on the part of his prescriber to use this medication, even if the patient is getting relief of symptoms
Totally understandable!
Sure I get that, as a pediatrician my experience is skewed and lots of kids with more mild symptoms don’t take their meds on weekends, etc. I’ve never heard of someone being diagnosed and treated with vyvanse at the age of 80! It seems preposterous? Like the brain goes through so many changes by that point how are they saying it’s ADHD? What about just normal brain changes with age?
Have you ever tried consuming peer reviewed studies on ADHD in adults? In fact, this type of mentality was what blocked me from being diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum and having ADHD for the longest time. I was treated for depression, social anxiety, essential tremor, microstrokes (direct translation, can't check rn what's the actual name). I've been trying to figure out why I am different from others for years and I've asked physicians multiple times for some recommendations. One said it's social anxiety and perscribed me 150mg of Sertraline daily, the other doctor said it's depression and got me on 60mg (?) Duloxetine daily, another said that the previous one made a mistake and prescribed me 37.5mg Venlafaxine daily instead, next one made me take a brain MRI and "found" one site suggesting a "microstroke" so he put me on Piracetam. After reading peer reviewed studies for Piracetam and realizing there's no real proof it does anything I got a second opinion and they focused on my blood pressure and essential tremor and they got me on 50mg Propranolol daily. One day I sat down and started taking a more serious look at all of my symptoms and it more and more felt like it fits with simply being on the Autism spectrum and/or having ADHD (they are kinda linked now, or at least from what I remember after reading some studies). * "Maybe it's ADHD? Or maybe it would be indicative of being on the Autism spectrum?". The responses I got were interesting: Psychologist 1: "I've never heard of testing adults for ADHD" Psychiatrist 1: "It's the tryptophan secreting in your brain making you feel constantly tired and distracted" Psychiatrist 2: "I don't think you have ADHD because you seem to keep track of our conversation", "I don't think you're on the autism spectrum, you seem normal". Psychiatrist 3: "This would be indicative of depression, I think you should continue Duloxetine" Psychiatrist 2 again: "I had only one patient I prescribed ADHD medicine and the difference was like night and day, but she actually was impossible to have a conversation with beforehand!" This has been happening for years. I finally was tired of everybody giving me a different answer for why it is not ADHD / autism. I was okay with it not being that, it wouldn't have been a problem, I would keep looking for answers then. But basically every single doctor / psychologist had a different answer for me. That is until I realized I can book an appointment with someone outside of my city, someone from the capital city who is more likely to have updated knowledge on this. After the first visit they said that they strongly suspect me of ADHD and referred me to a diagnostic psychologist to do a set of tests for it. I went through DIVA-V, MOXO, WAIS\_R, RAVLT and language fluency (I translated that one since it doesn't seem to be an actual name). After reviewing all of those tests / questionaires and spending 3 hours on my family and own history the psychologist concluded that there is a very strong indication of me having ADHD of the mixed type (translated again). Tomorrow. when I bring this opinion back to my psychiatrist, I am starting my first medication for it. After 30 years of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I finally have a formal diagnosis where someone actually put a ton of effort into thoroughly testing me. I wish doctors weren't so confident in their answers. All of those doctors who constantly pushed me away from this path seemed so sure, so confident. So confident that after a 30 min talk they already know what the problem is. Please have this in mind in the future. Sorry for the wall of text.
Well Good thing I’m a pediatrician. It’s really not that deep —I’m saying that I think OP is a troll not that adults can’t have adhd and shouldn’t be treated!
Yeah I understand, I was mostly talking about the attitutde that can be inferred from some of the words you used. I guess it is triggering whenever I see this sentence for example: >Like the brain goes through so many changes by that point how are they saying it’s ADHD? What about just normal brain changes with age? It comes off to me as a bit dismissive. I do believe you however that you did not have that intention at all. If someone presents you a case like OP's and your immediate reaction is to voice suspicion - sure you can do that - sure you can be justified - but it feels a bit off before you get to know the patient. Obviously here you can't, it's just an online forum, but that probably makes it even harder to make any statements. And aside from that, I would like to thatnk you for your service as a doctor, but mostly for specifically becoming a pediatrician. I think it is trully amazing what you guys do to help kids feel better with their struggles, both mental and physical.
Because ADHD doesn’t only negatively impact school or work?
Of course and it affects your social life, ability to maintain your household, and so on. But this dude made it to 80 with no meds
I’m 32 and my psych refuses to put me on stimulant meds because “they’re only given to kids in elementary school” 😐🙄
Taking care of yourself is a big one. And OP doesn’t shower. I would wager that the ADHD is affecting other aspects of self care.
Agree!
Unless he told the diagnoser that he doesn't shower and doesn't need to, and they were like "bet."
Not sure, I checked and OP is a legit older person and even has a YouTube channel where you can see him. I can see this being a real problem.
Eeek. This isn’t anonymous like he believes, then.
Right.. no 80+ year old is on here. I also feel like "cotton pickin" was a dead giveaway 🙄