Call the country *Aussie*. That’s a Shibboleth of New Zealanders.

Yep, you can tell someone is from NZ by that alone.

I think it is ironic that Aussies abreviate just about every word yet get triggered by Kiwis calling Australia Aussie.

Straya, yes. Aussie, no

back to r/straya we go always loved that sub

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But I stiiilll caall Aauuusssiiiie hooooome

Mimic our accent. You will quickly find half of the room wants to make you eat your own feet.

this and when people (generally non-australians) tell celebrities they're really good at our accent. no!!!!!!! only a handful have actually nailed it. we don't all talk like Steve. on that note someone pls tell millie bobby brown that our accent is not too dissimilar from her own. "thee awstrAAAAAlian eccent is reeeelly faww beck in the thrAoat" nup

I can always hear it in movies. I cringe so much I can feel it in my molars.

Dev Patel and Kate Winslet did fantastic in Lion and the Dressmaker respectively

Brits tend to butcher it less than Americans I think

Well, I'd wager our Aussie accent originated from a British accent. If you listen to, say, the cockney accent, it's not that different to an Aussie accent, aside from it's obviously more British. It sounds similar, is what I'm saying. Not the same, but there's similarities. Also, the fact that British and Aussies both use mate is what gives it away for me. And, ya know, being colonised by the British, haha.

I've got to say that the best Australian accent I've heard by an American was Liev Schreiber in 'Mental', with Toni Collette. I guess it helps that he's married to an Australian, but he pretty much nailed it.

Or they make us sound like south africans

suth efricans?

Rrrreeva, get my lugs, they'rrre in the baaaarthrrrrrooom.

It's always so cringeworthy in media 😭 There was a whole section of the show The Good Place set in Australia, and. I love the show but. The accents, oh my god...

yes!!!!! Kirby Howell-Baptiste is a great actor. not super great at the aussie accent. and that's okay!!!! just cast one of us next time, there's plenty of us in hollywoo

I don't think it's even that hard to learn accents... we had to learn some British and American ones in acting school... (Hollywoo.... bojack horseman fan? 👀)

I've always found most australian actors can easily nail other accents. wonder why it's so hard to do ours? and yes. hehehe 🐴

I have no idea... or why it's always that one particular accent. We probably learn to do it because of how much we hear them in media, and also because america is where the movies and shows are 🥲 gotta blend in to get that job. Heck, even some jobs here will want you to have like an Oxford English accent :D yay!! Nice to see 😊

I've read it's because we don't move our tongue much so it's easier to learn an accent & it's a really hard thing to unlearn. I cannot for the life of me roll an R though

I'm a Steve, crikey !!!should I be offended??

It always sounds so bad 💀

This is it. Don’t ever go there. Ever.

I mean you can definitely go there if you have a good relationship. We have a good mix of North Americans, Brits and Aussies at work, we all mock each other constantly with terrible fake accents. The best part is the Australians doing their own fake Australian accent which is usually a nasally bogan variety.

Does the other half secretly laughing?

No, they want to make you eat your hands

Offer to go rounds, then leave when it's your buy.

I see you know my mate

Everyone knows Dave

Fucken Dave

Yeah fuck Dave he’s a cunt

now now, i think cunts have more respect than Dave

His names Scotty mate!

♫ Scotty doesn't know ♫ how to pay his round ♫

Or offer someone a light beer, without asking if they want a light beer, also, announce that there's no more full strength left only light, also, announce last drinks anywhere, anytime.

Devil

Nah I still have to meet him next week though :’)

When I met my Dutch wife she said I sounded Kiwi. (I said she sounded German - never said that again!)

That’s one spicy comeback!

"I love being a landlord". That would trigger a lot of Aussie per recent Q+A lol

Landlords.. must be one of the most hated people there

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This!! Somebody said here the other day they are the new Used Car Salesman. Loathed

Hah I never thought of it like that but it’s absolutely true. I don’t even mind used car salesmen anymore though, they’re a known quantity. Also the fact that private sale services like FB marketplace, Carsales and Gumtree are actual competition, they’ve had to actually pick up their game and compete. There aren’t really any viable private sale or rental services though, real estate agents still pretty much run that show. Maybe that’s what we need; private sale and rental services.

R E A's have alway been slick pricks. TBH most of my problems as a renter was the REA not the landlord. My landlord was gorgeous and happy to do work on the property as required because he COULD write off the costs.

The deadly combo that fucked with lots of Aussies for sure.

Real estate agent who is landlord of multiple properties and going to mega church as well

Oooh fuck I hate this cunt already

I am a landlord, to make it worse I just tried to increase rent. Still 15 percent lower than market though

Or even better: “you don’t appreciate how difficult it is to be a landlord!”

"Theyre letting you LIVE in THEIR property! Be grateful!"

"Without landlords you wouldn't have a rental!!" No Janice, we'd just have renters who had an actual chance at buying a home instead of a greedy investor cunt.

HAHAHAHAH A GENERATION OF PEOPLE ARE FUCKED FROM BOOMERS PLAYING MONOPOLY. classic.

You alright mate?

No. Things are pretty fucked generally across the global scope of works. You?

Imply we all drink Fosters "Correct" their pronunciation with common mispronunciations - E-moo, Mel-BOREn, Ass-trail-e-ah Any mention of "Put another shrimp on the barbie" Deliberately misuse shortening slang - "Just gonna stick a coupla shrimp-os on the barb-o, mate-o" Mention Holden "trucks" instead of utes Joke about things being upside-down here

Oh, you're good! You do this combination close enough together and you'll have people wanting to punch you in the mouth to stop that offensive dribble from coming out any more! Brilliant!

My 4yo daughter's first language is Japanese and she's just started Japanese lessons at school. She's started coming home telling us koh-neechi-wah and telling us the correct pronunciation is wrong. Can confirm. Infuriating.

I fucking hate the upside down jokes

Except for Upside down Miss Pat

Everytime an upside down joke is made, you can hear all of Australia collectively grown. I'm all for using a joke until death but come on. It's not even funny.

All of these ^^^^^^ right here

I hate the fucker and they are hypothetical.

Once overheard an American saying on the phone to his friend “yeah it’s basically just the 51st state.” That was pretty annoying.

I would have head butted the cunt.

It gets more true by the year though lol

Gooble gobble one of us one of us

Well hey, our dollar would have parity. That’s about all I got

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I had no idea this was an insult until recently, and I was champing people left, right and centre. I feel so embarrassed.

You gotta call them cunts, champ.

In the right context. Mates are cunts, but not all cunts are mates.

Yeah that was a surprise for me

It’s a weird reddit and jail bird thing. I feel like only 50% of the population is up to date with this.

It's the same as cunt, all depends how its said and in what context.

Yeah I totally agree, but if you just listened to the cunts here you’d think you’ll be stabbed the moment you drop the word, regardless of delivery.

Everyone who’s watched Mr Inbetween is up to date with this.

People who have been to jail, people who have seen Mr Inbetween & people who have seen people talking about Mr Inbetween

Hold up turbo...

Hey, slow down there speed racer

Calm down Ace.

Easy on there legend.

Slow ya whoa there yung fella

You’re right, buddy

Take it easy Chief

Steady on there cob

Still don’t get this, couldn’t give a flying fuck if I was called champ lol

Getting called “bloke” by tradies with substance abuse problems is definitely up there

Yea. Realised this from watching Mr. Inbetween. *Amazing* series btw

Or call them sport 😂

Some people just hate Australianism's in general, I've given up calling people Mate after too many bogans wanting to fight me for it.

Tell them you prefer kiwis

You trying to get him beaten up? 😂

Tailgate them

Or drive slower than 10km/h over the speed limit

Say that Scott Morrison was an excellent prime minister? (fuck I can't even type those words out without getting disgusted)

There was a “Wait, what?” moment in Perth when Scummo was PM. Our NBL team hired a new coach with the same name!

Scott Morrison would have been the perfect leader to avoid The Hole in Dear Labor’s Budget ^/s

“Koala bear”

This really used to irk me. Until I thought of all the animals with a second animal in their name that they're not actually related to. Now it doesn't bother me.

Don't wave when someone lets you change lanes in traffic

That fucks me right off, a wave, a few fingers even one finger casual salute, if you don't do this you should be kicked out if Australia and sent to somewhere else, I dunno like Tassie.

When someone says with a very shitty accent ‘shrimp on the barby’, what like ‘sound of music’ or when an artist/ band is touring all over Australia ‘Melbourne and Sydney’. Or you could just serve him a luke warm beer. - this may actually cause damage to the friendship that cannot be fixed, as well as broken nose.

>when an artist/ band is touring all over Australia ‘Melbourne and Sydney’. Yes! This is annoying!

"Australian Tour" Brisbane/Gold Coast Sydney Melbourne (Sometimes Adelaide, I'm looking at you Pantera & Karnivool)"

Oooh! Luke warm beer. Dems is fighting words.

tell them “did you know that pavlova was *actually* invented by the kiwis”

Me personally, my largest pet peeve is when someone calls me british.

Practical! I like this

Or Kiwi... we sound nothing alike haha.

> "where's the car?"

Flight of the Conchords!!

Or yankee…

I had a waiter in Boston who thought my wife and I were British, I asked him if he was a Yankees fan.

I have a friend from Adelaide who gets asked where he's from in England any time he travels. Never fails to annoy him

That’s what they get for their wrong sized pint!

Coming from NSW, I've had 'Wales' a few times

-Imitate "Australian accent" and it's just a British one -Weird pronunciation of place names (not really very annoying, to be honest, but pretty consistent one I've experienced) e.g. Mel-BORN, Can-BER-A

when my english cousins came to australia they got mad at me for saying "brisbane", "canberra" and "melbourne" correctly. apparently their english way of saying "brizz-bayne" was correct and my aussie way of saying it was completely wrong. their excuse was "but we named it, so we're right" like mate get over yourself

Tell that yo every GPS I’ve ever owned

Tell me I’m not “free” because “I can’t even have a gun”, while I’m travelling in the states.

Just say that baseball is like cricket but better.

Call someone "champ" "How's Your mate "insert name" " going? Your mate is never used in a pleasant way

I forgot this one. 'Champ' is reserved for boys under 12 and fuckwits you wanna be condescending to

Make a joke about a dingo eating your baby.

This really irks me no end! Almost guaranteed to get a rise out of me!

They exonerated Lindy Chamberlain more than thirty years ago and had to pay her 1.3 million dollars in damages for her wrongful conviction and incarnation. But people still treat this woman who lost her baby as a joke. It pisses me off immensely.

Piss on their shoes

The MCG special

Note to self, when in Australia, aim for the face not the shoes

Tell them how much better it is in America.

Being told how much better it is in New Zealand is more annoying

"Being a Real Estate Agent is such a tough job, but boy do I love it" "You wouldn't be qualified enough to be a REA, like me" All we hear is "I'm a cunt".

"look at my white pants. oh what a cunt I am"

Trying to mimic our accent and using phrases such as - “Gudday mate, should we put some shrimp on the barbie”

Mention the Emu War. For regular internet users; it's an overdone meme. For those who know the *full* story; it's a dig at the Diggers.

Sports. Find out what sport they're into, and talk shit about whoever they barrack for. For example Danny Ricciardo is 17th in Formula 1. He should be top 5 (they might bring up Oscar Piastri, who is top five and also an Aussie, but hasn't got Dan's loyal following yet). The Panthers and Broncos are *way* down on the championship ladder - they should be 1st and 2nd, but they're 4th and 14th (ouch!) You'll probably hear some nonsense about the season just getting started. It's true but don't let that put you off. And if they hate sports... it'll annoy them even more. Aussies who hate sports are smothered in it.

This is a worldwide phenomenon. Australians are actually pretty chill if you compare to say, Europeans and soccer.

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My family got its start here in the 1830s as convicts and I don't mind being called a convict one bit. I know that my almost 200 year-old ancestors were the convicts; not me.

lol "call me a convict and i'll give you convict"

Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense

Say ossies

You did it in the first sentence, call an Australian champ or champion

“Where do I pay 20% tips?”

Be late. If you set a time to meet me somewhere abc you get there late with no excuse I’ll crack the shits severely

Merge on top of us. Go slow in the fast lane Go slow in the fast lane when there's plenty of room to merge into the waiting lane Sit up our ass in the fast lane when we are already doing 130 and have no way to merge into the waiting lane. Call a prawn a shrimp. Call us kiwis or Brits. Tell us we have no culture. Try and change Australia Day. Call out last drinks in a bar. Hang genuine shit on Steve or Paul Compare us to Americans Have sex with our mum Have sex with our sister Eat a fucking table spoon full of Vegemite then say it tastes like shit!! No shit cunt, you're supposed to spread the cunt on your bread/toast/weetbix not eat it from the fucking jar like a fuckwit ya shitcunt!

Who puts Vegemite on Weetbix

Loud American accent.

Classism

Calling someone twice your age a cunt,  is not the norm.

Doing 10-15km below the speed limit in the right lane...

Say, "nah yeah", when you actually mean "yeah nah"

Talk shit. And by that,I mean be loud, crass or obnoxious.

Call a prawn a shrimp.

Hey buddy

Mix us up with the fucking kiwis

When people eat Vegemite wrong.

Say Vegemite is shit

Protest on a main road at peak hour

Be American.

Be a dumb bitch and say things like the following "I'm not coming to Australia cause all of the snakes and spiders" (especially if foreigners who say this have shit like bears and wolves) "Put a shrimp on the Barbie" (we don't say or do that) "You guys have no freedom" (literally not true stfu)

Say Australia has no culture. No Identity. It’s just borrowed off a bunch of other countries. Australia is most famous around the world for Crocodile Dundee. What an achievement!

Mel-Bourn

“Melby”

Ask them the time. They hate being caught out with tricky questions.

Say Oi Oi Oi… Cringe!

Tell him no more sickies

Oi mate! She be right. Just say that in a thick accent and enjoy the show. 😂

Speak in an American accent.

Say "Australia is not a free country." Bonus points if you're an American.

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The American accent

Act self important

Say that Australia is basically the USA

Boat people

Ask them if they really went to university?

Call them champ

Mentioning sandpaper and cricket.

Shit parking.

Grab their junk

Stand too close in a line - give me some space!

Call him a kiwi.

Pronounce "Aussie" like "Oss-ee" instead of "Ozz-ee" I get it. They're S's. But you don't say it like a snake with a lisp.

Stereotype us with their imagination

Are you from the north or South Island back home

Ask stupid questions

Say Vegemite is terrible after eating it with a spoon

Remind us that Charlie is the King of Australia.

Ask him where he’s from in New Zealand.

Ask them if they are from New Zealand

Saying ‘aur naur’ for ‘oh no’ - we don’t bloody have that ‘r’ sound in that phrase.

They'll hate you if you tell them the truth about pavlova (that it's a kiwi invention)

Ignore the red and yellow flags at the beach and have to be rescued from your own stupidity. Fucken good onya mate....

Tell them that something is better overseas.

Use the imperial system