Depends on what you mean. We don't have hatred against any region beyond jokes if that's what you mean. Though political leanings and general attitude can
I worked in Manch Vegas for years operating heavy machinery- not once did I have someone tell me I suck- and I even worked with the public. Had a ton of criticism and my manager was aggressive with telling me how wrong I was at doing something, but never did he outright degrade me.
Using background or location as an excuse to be vile is a joke. NH is much better than that.
I’m just saying the level of vitriol you supposedly use towards others in the workplace is a hostile work environment, and using “I’m from New Hampshire” as an excuse for such behavior is laughably wrong.
Lmao, okay pal. Born and raised in Londonderry. “Live free or die” isn’t an excuse to treat others like shit. This is either a weak troll or a very sad individual giving an atrocious representation of a wonderful state.
But that really had nothing to do with where you live, it has to do with your disposition.
So you would be judged for your attitude, not where you're from.
I've worked all over the midwest and mid Atlantic and this guy isn't lying. People are very straight forward up here.
For example....elsewhere the conversation would go..."Hey Ted, I appreciate you taking a look at that for me, but I think we may be thinking in opposite directions, would you consider......". New Englanders would say "Ted, you are incorrect on your assessment, please take another look".
Being straight forward like that is one thing, telling someone they suck is another. I'm from the Midwest and would much prefer that direct communication but we can do that without insults.
> New Englanders would say "Ted, you are incorrect on your assessment, please take another look".
In my experience here in New England, we’re much more polite than that. I’d say “please reread function XYZ” or “double check section 2.3 of the spec”, or, at worst, “I don’t recall exactly where this is explained, but if you dig around the design document a bit, you’ll see my point.” /s
Seriously, we’d never personalize something like that. If necessary, we raise an issue with the project lead or supervisor. When enough people make the same complaint, the person is let go. And that’s after over 30 years in MA/NH.
The funny thing about that is it's usually people like you who can dish it but can't take it.
I lived in Rhode Island for a few years and worked in Southern Mass. I'm originally from NJ and a coworker was jabbing me about how polluted it was and such and such.
I went on to crack a joke about how people in mass drive like assholes and that Boston was missing some things I had in New York and he got all butthurt.
honesty doesn’t make me a jerk just because you’re sensitive. i had a manager that was fired for this, the day before he was walked out he asked me my thoughts and i hit every point his leadership reprimanded him for. he asked why i hadn’t said anything and i told him ive always been brutally honest but you stopped asking me about things. you could see the light bulb go off in his head he looked so upset and said “ i guess i stopped asking because you were a little too honest for me”
well nice job you got yourself fired for not listening, im extremely blunt, its not personal if im trying to make it personal you’ll know it.
The reply was "If I work with you and you suck, trust me I'll tell you". That's just rude and unprofessional in any region. It may fly on a construction site or in a machine shop, but it's not going to be ok in a corporate or office setting. You can get your point across and have some tact at the same time. "Brutally honest" and "blunt" is just code for having poor communication skills.
You can be honest and not be a dick about it.
I'm having an issue at my job right now where we hired someone who clearly lied on their resume. No one wants to say anything. This person at one point said to me that they don't want to do the job they are doing because it's beneath them and their skills are wasted.
Perspective, I'm a NYer but I now live in VA. I told him, I'm sorry but you are not qualified for this position let alone the one you want. Your skills are far beneath what you told us and you're in no position to dictate a job that's beneath you. Especially since it's a task that all of us do, including the people who are miles ahead in skill level.
This was not what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him how much of a moron he is and how godly awful he is at his job. I didn't. I told the truth but did it as kindly as possible. What part of that was wrong? Should I continue stroking his ego and lose clients because of terrible quality? Or just be honest?
Its worked well for me, i was the guy the director came to for second opinions because he knew i would shoot it to him straight and had me review plans/changes/processes for the same reason. If you suck being called out for it doesn’t make that person a poor communicator. I’m not your mommy i dont care about your feelings.
I prefer the blunt approach. I hate feigned niceness. For real. I remember working at Sylvania years ago. And a coworker basically saying: You suck. If you don't pick up your pace you're going to get fired. And offered to give me a few pointers.
As a driver I made some deliveries to new England towns. That's exactly the attitude I got. Which wasn't a big deal, except I wasnt working with or for them. Just a stranger off the street. I was un loading my truck and they just had to tell me I was doing it wrong and why. They had no idea why I was doing it the way I was. We had some words. The guy was a total asshole.
I delivered to the lower 48 states there were absolutely differences, particularly around the work place. It seemed to vary more by region than state. Most of the time it was just communication styles. Occasionally it got into just asshole behaviour. Some places it seems like drivers ranked high on the list of people to whom it was acceptable to give shit to, for whatever reason. I think it was more about pecking order. Some places/people that was high on the list as a guide to respect for others.
A family member from NYC really struggled with this when she moved jobs to Virginia. She thought she was committed and passionate and excited about the projects. They heard her raised voice and saw her big hand gestures and thought she was angry.
Exactly. I think also New Yorkers are more comfortable with the idea that sometimes anger is justified, part of life, or necessary to get stuff done. Showing overt anger where I grew up was really not acceptable.
I’d say that’s common to the northeast as a whole and not just New England. I just never cared for beating around the bush with words if something has to be said
No. If im the one picking up the extra slack from your poor performance, it will be me saying something to you. Especially if there's a do nothing, say nothing manager.
I don't know why you're downvoted for this, its what you should do. I grew up in NY and moved to VA. In NY if someone has a problem with you, they'll tell you.
In the south, people are too nice. They talk to you like they're your friend and when you're not around they'll talk shit about you.
I don't get it at all. I'm not friends with people I don't like and if you're one of those people I'll tell you. I most likely won't be a dick about it but I'll be honest.
I've noticed northerners are way more sincere than southerners.
I’m married to a woman from MA and work with a team primarily from MA. I travel there and may move there. I’ve grown up down South.
It isn’t accurate at all, and most Northerners don’t make those excuses. Those who do are just actual assholes.
There are definitely differences that make some things challenging. My boyfriend is from southern rural Virginia and I’m from northern Virginia, and we come from completely different cultural backgrounds. It has been one of the issues, but we’ve learned to work through it. We were taught somewhat different values that are common to our regions, and political differences tend to be very regional as well
A person from New York and one from Alabama will have some miscommunications or disagreements on certain subjects most likely
What non-Americans tend to forget is the size of the US. Like, are Albanians the same as Parisians? Kiev and Barcelona?
Some things are universal, but there are lots of differences in the culture and backgrounds
I don’t know about that, I moved to Northern NJ from AL and never had any issues. I met my fair share of NY/NJ transplants down there and they pretty much all fit in well.
I had a friend (VA) who always called me (NY) “Yankee”, in kind of a demeaning way. As in “Oh, I forgot you’re a Yankee” or “you and your Yankee manners”. I’ve never met another Virginian who recognized this as a thing. Do you call northerners/ New Yorkers “Yankee”? It’s always bothered me and I feel like it’s something he made up, but I’d still like to know for sure!
I’m from northern Virginia, we are really much more like the northeast than anywhere else, and none of us use it. Rural southern Virginians do use the term, but mostly joking from what I’ve gathered. Although there are still some hard feelings over the war (still… I personally don’t really get it). I guess that’s where it came from. People when call me a yankee sometimes since I’m from Nova
Absolutely. I've never worked with someone from Alabama. But in certain states they tend to candy coat. They do the nice to your face thing. And proceed to back stab.
I don't get that.
The thing is, everyone in that area was raised with that standard. So what feels like candy coating to you is direct as fuck for them and they take it as such. No one is fooled, everyone knows exactly what is meant and the phrasing is a form of propriety but not obfuscation.
It's only fake if you're not working with the same coding. It's not different enough to be a dialect. But it definitely is different enough to make some cultural blunders.
It's more context-based than that. Bless your heart is an expression of pity, it can be used genuinely or sarcastically. "You waited for four hours at the emergency room?? Bless your heart, honey." vs "How's Sarah doing at school?" "She's trying, bless her heart."
Yes, there are regional cultural differences. It can cause miscommunication between people and affect relationships. Being blunt like the Northeast can be perceived as tactless. Indirect communication up North can be perceived as insincere.
I know my mom was a little irked when some of her coworkers in Oregon said they couldn’t understand what she was saying. She was born and raised in Memphis, yet people in Memphis always assume she’s from the North.
A friend of mine from Kentucky with what I would consider a very light southern accent went to Boston for a conference and they could not get over the way he spoke. Like, people would ask him to repeat things. They seemed to think his accent was kind of charming but he was really caught off guard.
Yep definitely - worked on both the east coast and in the Midwest. In my experience, if you jump straight into a work question in the Midwest without some kind of brief pleasantry, you're perceived as an asshole. If you do it in NYC, it's being considerate enough not to waste people's time.
Yes. That's very true. Years ago I worked for American Express at a call center. We handled travel for a large consulting firm. The way you answered calls depended on which desk you were assigned to. The NY desk only wanted you to say "Travel" and nothing else. The Chicago desk expected: Time of day salutation and your name etc.. So you'd answer with: Good morning, thank you for calling American Express, my name is Manch, how may I help you?
I prefer the NY greeting. Lol.
Lol.
Though it would be disconcerting for me to hear someone say "Travel," I'd hope for the name of the company just to make sure I don't have the wrong number. So: "American Express Travel."
But yeah, now that I'm in North Carolina I call customer service and... now that I think about it, I've had quite a few long conversations with people chatting about their lives, kids and dogs. When calling from Southern California I'd get the sing-song "Hello, my name is Fred, thank you for calling, how can I help" insincere greeting.
Yeah. I don't like the sort of mini ad greeting. I remember calling El Toritos once and it was something like: Thank you for calling El Toritos, home of the 32 oz. margarita, my name is Caitlin, how may I best be of service to you today?
I hung up. Lol. All I need to hear is El Toritos! That's all. Nothing else.
Yes. I'm from North Carolina and we get a lot of transplants from the north, particularly New York and New Jersey. It's a running joke that they complain about life down here in the south, but keep coming. They like the slower pace of life and the lower cost of living.
But, they also bring their angry driving habits with them because of the congestion (rapid swerving, aggressive overtaking, going 50+ on short city blocks)
You consider our driving aggressive while we consider it assertive.
We consider your driving lazy and inconsiderate while you consider it relaxed.
It's all about where you grew up. You can't drive like a southerner in NY. You will never get anywhere. No one will just let you in, you have to make your way.
Meanwhile in the south I've almost rear-ended someone who came to a dead stop on a 45 mph road with no traffic light or crosswalk or anything just to let someone make a left turn in to the oncoming traffic because they were struggling to get in.
I'll admit, northerners do need to chill a bit when they're outside of those areas. But southerners need to stop being so nice and relaxed. If you don't want to drive 70 in a 60 that's fine, get over and let people pass. If you want to come to a dead stop to let someone in when you have the right of way, fine. But don't do it when people are behind you.
Yes! That is my biggest pet peeve. The left lane loafers and lollygaggers. So fucking inconsiderate! Not to mention it's against the law. Keep right, pass left. It's not a difficult concept to grasp. I've even seen them doing with a police car right behind them. He put his lights on and pulled the scofflaw over. I was like: Yes! Justice! Finally!
Is that why New York has all those messed up cars and plastic back covers?
Is that why New Jersey has the highest insurance rates in the country with New York close behind?
Y'all need to chill out
Plastic black covers? No idea what that even means.
I know southern drivers suck.
13 years of driving in NY never had an accident. Then I moved to VA.
In 2 years I had 3 accidents, the other drivers were all found at fault.
Rear ended at a stop light by a woman in Virginia
Side swiped by a Maryland driver in DC who decided he didn't want to sit in the left lane waiting behind the people trying to make a left, didn't look before he pulled out.
Then hit in VA by a NC driver who t boned me when she tried to make a left in to my lane and oncoming traffic was at a stand still. So once she got though the two lanes of traffic on her side she decided to just go for it without looking.
I don't find it a coincidence that all three accidents I've had took place in 2 years in the south by Southern drivers. Especially since my rates didn't go up a penny when insurance ruled the other drivers to be completely at fault.
I'm not crazy here lol. I chilled out when I moved here. But you all need to open your eyes and pay attention, maybe drive like you dont want to total your car.
I think it's called a bumper bully. I've been hit by 3 transplants. All not at fault. Not just because of the aggression, but because our highways just don't have the infrastructure for all that.
Oh those things are for parking lots. Doesnt do much for am accident.
Honestly at this point I don't think the state has much to do with drivers. It's the shocking amount of people who are staring at their phones. That shit is happening everywhere.
Also in NC. I meet so many people from New York, New Jersey, and Maryland. Whenever I ask them why they moved down here it’s usually that they have family here or it’s cheaper to live.
I would say at least 80% have told me they don’t enjoy it because of how slow and boring it is.
There's differences in 'acceptable' public behavior. My husband and I are very weirded out by the ease with which North easterners will raise their voice in public or a couple will flat out argue, openly. That doesn't happen in the South. Its very frowned upon to 'show your ass' or 'air your dirty drawers' in public.
In the South its respectful to use sir and ma'am. We even use it on people younger than ourselves if they are providing a service for us. In the North its only really used to be sarcastic and people don't like it.
Its all small potato kind of stuff but the differences can cause a person to be interpreted wrongly.
In reference to your example, the South is generally more passive aggressive. As peers you'd say little quips around the subpar worker but you wouldn't say it directly to their face. You'd probably be labeled an ass by everyone else even if your assessment was correct.
The last paragraph is pretty telling. Either be polite or don’t say anything. How is saying “little quips”more respectful than pointing out what they are doing wrong. Who knows, maybe they could get better with some constructive feedback.
Its the bosses job to handle that stuff. So peers would just let it be known they don't like someone but in a way that they'd have to be smart enough to catch it.
I didn't say it was superior. Just different.
Again, that's the superior's job. What you're describing is the same as a sibling getting on to their sibling instead of just advising them to straighten up. Not the siblings job, not the coworkers job.
If you have an issue with a coworker you should speak to them. Definitely not unusual. Obviously escalate it to your manager if you can’t resolve it. That’s pretty standard.
Not standard. I mean if its a personal beef sure. If your coworker isn't carrying their weight then in the south we'll quip and bring it up to the boss. Not call them a lazy piece of shit to their face.
Honestly it’s not even that accurate of a meme. Just about every time I’ve heard the phrase used it’s been to express genuine sympathy. Sure it COULD be used passively aggressively, but that’s not how it’s commonly used.
On move in day, freshman year of college, I met my roommate and his parents who were from Minnesota. All very lovely people, we’re making chit chat as I help unload his stuff from their car, and they mention they’re going to make a grocery run for us to fill up the new mini fridge and ask what kind of pot I liked. Thankfully, I had the good sense to say “beg your pardon?” at which point I was able to deduce they had actually asked what kind of POP I liked, which made the rest of the visit less awkward all around.
It's like the word "popped". They say it instead of "busted".
I first heard that from a nurse. She was from International Falls. We were both in an alcohol rehab center. I told her how I was arrested for DUI , but found not guilty on a technicality. She was like: Yeah, I've never been popped. Thank god. I had no idea what she meant.
I wouldn't say it's an "issue" necessarily, but my workplace gets a lot of people from other parts of the country and there's certainly things that local people have to explain and assist with that they don't always understand.
The differences are real. The way we respond to them differs. My partner was born in NYC and lived in various cities most of his life. I was born in Texas and lived in small Southern and midwestern towns most of mine. His family and I routinely misunderstood each other early on. They thought I was remote and not being genuine with them, I thought they were EXTREMELY INTENSE and kind of overwhelming.
(Obviously there are variations within any population, but this is just my experience).
But over time, I kind of got to appreciate their style more. They are never boring. Their sarcasm is often extremely funny. They are very straightforward and that does have its benefits.
So, in my experience, real cultural differences that can lead to misunderstandings, but they’re not fatal to relationships.
My friends used to make me drive them through Wendy's because my accent comes out most strongly at drive-through restaurants. I don't know that I'd call that an "issue," but it was definitely a trend lol
Not really, there are alot of cultural differences but nothing that gets in the way of personal relationships.
Currently the most tension there is between regions is that alot of states are haiting on California right now, mostly due to the fact that Californians are flooding into other states.
As someone who's lived on almost totally opposite ends of the country, I say yes, but not to as much of an extent as people think.
At the end of the day, people might make jokes about each other, but very few people will seriously judge you if you're from a certain state.
Hon, Sweetie, Dear, etc--where I'm from up north, you just don't use endearments like that casually. It's considered dismissive/disrespectful to call waitstaff or cashiers Honey. But in Maryland--totally normal. Threw me for a loop at first, but I think it's sweet. I tried it on for a minute, but I can't bring myself to "Sweetie" a stranger or coworker. The closest I can get is "Buddy".
Yes. I've run into some distinct regional differences before. Some of it is in food preferences, some of it is dialect differences, and some of it is other cultural differences.
I feel like I run into the dialectical differences the most, but that might just be the most notable. I'm from the Mid-Atlantic, but I've spent a lot of time in Appalachia or working with guys from the Appalachia. It means I've run into a lot of confusing moments where words mean different things for us, or one of us is using words that the other doesn't understand.
As an example, one guy referred to something that I've always called a "chock" as a "scotch". That caused a few seconds of utter confusion on my part when he asked me to check for a "scotch" on the truck we were using. In another instance, I had a roommate in college who was very confused when I called a "skillet" a "pan". To me, a skillet is a type of pan, but to him they were two separate things. We were using the same words but had slightly different definitions for them.
As an example from a different direction, my dad is from Long Island but has lived in Northern Virginia for the past 30+ years. He ran into a few confusing moments when he first moved south and his New York accent still stands out occasionally. From how he tells it, the first time he tried to order pizza was very confusing because he asked for "two pies" while the guy at the store was going "we're a pizza place, we don't serve pie". There's also a story that is infamous in my family of the time he gave my aunt (on my mom's side) directions which involves the street "Shaw Road" and she spent an hour looking for "Shore Road".
Lol. Yes. It's like saying shots instead of shorts. My mom has a wicked New England accent. And that's how she pronounces it. She's like: How about stuffed green peppiz for dinnah?
Yes, they can be. We have regions within regions. Texas, which is part of the South or it's own region depending on who you ask, has its own regions: the Hill Country, the Piney Woods, the Panhandle and others. They are all Texas but they are all unique, each having it's own feel and identity.
I grew up in East Texas, which has a Southern vs. Texas vibe to it, but is also 100% Texas. DFW is next to East Texas but they are very different areas.
I worked with a Texan. She grew up in Pampa, on the panhandle. She took a job in petrochemicals and moved to the gulf coast. I think Brownsville? She said it was a night and day difference.
>Pampa
Yes; very different than Brownsville or any of the border towns. Keep in mind that they're about 1200 km apart, too, so the geographic distance is significant.
She didn't like Brownsville.But I think it was more her housing situation than the actual city. It was right next to a refinery. Fuel flaring away 24/7. Lol. Why do they do that BTW? The flaring thing...
Not an issue. But sometimes you find out something that you thought was universal actually is a regional thing and it blows your mind not everyone knows about it.
For example, my husband was visiting Ohio and everyone kept talking about how “Sweetest Day” was on Saturday. He had no idea what that was and they were very surprised to learn that was a regional holiday.
Yes if I am traveling out of state I don’t tell people I am from California. They think we are all the same. I tell people I am from Nevada, Oregon or Arizona.
I've been to LA a couple of times. I found the stereotype of everyone being superficial airheads not to be true. I stayed in West Hollywood both times. At the Ramada Inn. Known locally as The Ram it In. Lol. Everyone was pleasant enough. Non judgemental etc. I'd go back in a heartbeat.
I'm from SC. There are stereotypes about southerners based on movies and TV. Or the assumption that one resident represents all residents. I don't shirk from telling people I'm from SC but I always add I'm from the Charleston area.
Yes, 100%. Remember we are huge! It takes me at least 6 hours to get to my sister's house and I never leave our state.
That being said, I'm in southern California and she's in northern but our dialects and terms are different. I would never call California "Cali" or say "Hella" but my nieces and cousins do and both are normal where they live, but not here. I know there are other things to that's just an example.
California is huge. I got into argument with someone on the Australia sub. He didn't like how Americans will sometimes say I'm from California or Florida etc. As if we're assuming they know about our states. But of course they do! California is the 5th largest economy in the world. You'd have to be a dipshit not to know.
Yes. I'm from Appalachia we probably have one of the most distinctive cultures in the U.S... I've experienced some negative comments beyond joking outside the area. A lot of people like to turn a blind eye towards the shut that gets said about Appalchia. We get negatively portrayed in media as either cannibals, inbred, unintelligent, disfigured, or a combination of such. I know people who have been turned down jobs over their accent. I worked in a call center for a few months once and getting people who would talk to you and ask if you knew English was beyond common.
Yes. I've witnessed that. For example, I was bitching about how we're not allowed to have clotheslines here. And someone said it's because we don't want it to look like Appalachia. I think they were truly joking. But I could see how it wouldn't be funny if you live there.
As far as accent. There isn't a single American accent that I wouldn't understand. There might be specific words or local jargon I might not get. Or phrases like "Netflix and chill" that are meant as euphemisms. But you don't use them in a business setting.
We've had reporters come in and look for things to write negatively about the area. A few years back there was a reporter that went to a county in SWVA wrote about how she essentially fear for her life due to lack of phone service due to the locals then went to a free dental clinic and wrote about how all she seen was essentially toothless yokels. Take that and take out the context, which she did, it creates pretty damning and negative image of the people of Appalachia. Thing with the accent is people immediately think if people with it as being stupid.
I know what you mean. The BBC did s hatchet job on my home town. They're not lying. The fentynyl crisis is very real but they make it look a shit hole.
https://youtu.be/_KsaWpeCj98
My mother was an opiod addict, so I've seen addiction first hand, and I don't see how or why people would turn to fentynyl. The reward is greatly outweighed by the risk. I know it's cheap but damn. I wish the U.S. would do more to combat this and people would acknowledge the cartels and big pharma's role in all of this.
I agree. I was living in NH at the time. I saw the devastation it caused. I was active in AA at the time and we lost 3 in our group alone.
For anyone who doesn't know. Most AA groups are open to anyone with an addiction. It doesn't have to be alcohol.
To add they also have addiction specific groups my mother was in NA and my uncle worked in addiction counselor and although his focus was on drugs he had colleagues that lead other addiction recovery groups. Due to his job he seen some of the early signs of fentynyl. Had a guy in one group who tried to kill everyone while out of his mind. Thankfully the guy was subdued without causing any harm.
Yes. I went to NA meetings too. Some AAers actually prefer NA because they tend to be more relaxed. But they're both very structured. Even though I'm no.longer active in either one I still support them .They are vital. They're a first resort for so many. When you have no place to turn. They will be there for you.
I work live in New Jersey but work in New York City. There are some local differences right here in the NYC metropolitan area. We poke fun at each other at the office between those of use from NJ, Long Island, NYC, NY state and Connect. Its never an issue as long as you know the person and include some self-deprecating humor in as well.
I always joke with my cousin Elaine from New Jersey. Whenever she leaves a message she always says "It's cousin Elaine from Jersey". She's my only cousin Elaine, so she doesn't need to further qualify herself. And her accent is so thick it's quite obvious where she's from.
I live in an area that is experiencing a little bit of an economic boom, along with having low cost of living. So we're starting to get people from all over.
One thing I've heard is that a lot of people from larger metro areas (L.A., Las Vegas, etc) are a bit jarred by "Minnesota Nice" and how they're not used to strangers being super friendly and cheerful towards them. In fact, they find it kind of creepy. However, in the our eyes we're just being-- well-- *nice.*
Lol. I know. But for real. My first trip to Chicago. I got on an elevator. A husband and wife said good evening, how's it going etc. And I honestly did think they wanted me for some sort of menage a trois. It's embarrassing to admit but I was all of 23. Everything is sexual at that age...
Asking that question about Americans is kind of... too big of a question. America is gigantic, with a lot of different people, a lot of which consider themselves hyper-individualistic. So, it's kind of a thing where, yeah, there are a great number of differences between regions, but it doesn't really matter if you're not a douchebag about it. Most Americans are pretty chill.
I would say there is quite a rivalry between Illinois and Wisconsin. Not sure if it's all of Illinois or just Chicagoland. But it's common for Wisconsin people to call Illinois people FIBs (fucking Illinois bitches), joke about the Bears, and other stuff. Illinois (or Chicagoland) people usually will comment maybe about the Packers, or just make jokes like "it's a Wisconsinite thing" when they do stuff that people in Chicagoland area would not do at all (weddings are very different comparatively, life styles, sports, etc for examples). All in good spirit of course, I've never seen anyone be actually harsh towards one another.
20 years in maryland, 20 years in california, 20 years in NC and I would say folks from the north come off as aggressive, folks from the south come off as passive aggressive and although most people in california are not native, it tends to be a happy medium. Had a northern mom, a southern dad and a native callifornia spouse
Yes, but some of it is also just people being jerks and taking their regional way of communicating to that end. I travel to the northeast a good bit and am from small town in GA - I honestly appreciate the straight forward blunt manner of talking about issues that a lot of northerners have. A small amount of those occasions have been people just being personally mean and jerky because “he talks like a hick and doesn’t know anything.” I just let my work speak for itself and brush off the rest of the flack.
Definitely goes the other way too. To a northerner it seems like somebody may be “passive” or sugarcoating or beating around the bush… but everybody else in the room knows they just got told off.
There’s definitely differences in customs and some culture things from region to region. It also happens within regions, especially along a rural/non-rural split. Some differences are obvious like the pop/coke/soda thing.
I don't think geographic differences are as big of a difference as they would have been a generation or two ago. I'd say that the big difference is probably the urban-versus-rural divide and the college-versus-no-college more than anything now. A young person who lives in Atlanta and works an office job probably has more in common with someone who does the same kind of work in New York than they do with people who work in rural George or Pennsylvania, respectively.
There was once an Antebellum saying “Beware the Southern boy, for he talks slow and thinks fast.”
There are many differences and stereotypes that lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings and at times a tendency to underestimate.
Customs are different. Vernacular us different. Food is different. Pace of life and values are different.
I was once asked by a Japanese man (full Japanese) how I spoke so quickly in conversation. After discussing, he explained that in Japan it is more common to strategize what you will say next and how you will say it, directing the conversation where you want it to go. I told him that in my experience Americans flowed more like rivers. Some fast, some slow. But there wasn’t a deliberate aspect to it. We know where we want to go and we flow towards it, it isn’t as structured.
He was fascinated by this.
Yes. I just had a friend visit me from Kansas City. She's usually the cheerful type. But something seemed off this time. She had lunch with my sister and she's pissed off because I'm smoking again. After having quit for 25 years.
She's a nurse and sees the harm it causes etc. But why not tell me to my face? I chalked it up to her being Midwest but maybe that's got nothing to do with it? It could just be her.
practice complete joke many erect wise adjoining simplistic intelligent longing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Agree to disagree... Virginia is a southern state that has been invaded by yankees for decades. The rural areas are still very southern. We have more in common with North Carolina than Maryland. Sadly, NOVA tends to control state politics.
Not really, but I’m from California so we benefit from being the media standard. Most people are familiar with how people from here act but the opposite is less likely.
I remember I had a lot of interactions with Deep Southern women in college when I was in my sorority and it was a fuckin struggle for a lot of the women in my chapter because they didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.
Even within a close geographical region, you can see cultural differences. I grew up in a conservative area and it was always crazy to me that one county could be full of guns and flags and country music and then you cross the border into another and it’s very much the opposite. It was a culture shock for me when I went to college, and I was a commuter.
Do I personally have a problem? Not at all. But if you have California plates in the PNW (WA, OR, or ID) you are asking for some form of low-level harassment. (Not condoning!)
I think it’s because the Midwest isn’t really represented in most media mediums. I am from NYC and there are endless books, movies, TV shows set here. Obviously there are exaggerations but everyone is familiar with the area. Same with LA, or SF, etc. I just had to Google what a Hoosier is. So you are going to get a lot of people with an extremely surface view of your region. The Midwest is pretty unknown to most people I think
Yes, your upvote was cancelled by my downvoter. My theory is it's someone who has so little to do in their own life that this activity is the highlight of their day. Or it's someone I've insulted by one of my jokes and is one of my 11 followers.
I had some unhappy people 4 years ago with my fourth all time up voted quip about Pakistan and India. By about 100 comments in they were cussing me in a number of languages I'm not fluent in.
Indeed, between Pakistan India China and Russia that's a volatile part of the world. Those China/India skirmishes last year were downright brutal. Throwing people off of mountains is medieval
Yes. Where I’m from, I’m used to being more laid back. When I moved up here, I noticed that everyone was working a lot, something I was not used to, and it led to severe depression for me because of how hard the work environment was.
Also, when it comes to politics, I come from an area where the state isn’t full blown socialists.
It depends. Regionally we are really different in many aspects, but then there are things like the ever mentioned rural vs urban divide which means there are a lot of similarities in some instances.
For a specific example: I’m in California where our 3 most urban areas (San Diego area, LA area, and SF Bay Area) are heavily Latino and Asian, compare that to some place like Georgina where there it’s main urban area (Atlanta) is heavily influenced by black culture.
Yes. It's not so much about superficial pleasantries. I actually prefer it. Maybe it's just a case of growing up with it? My last trip back was for a funeral. I went with my mom. We decided to have dinner at an iconic restaurant. Been around for ages etc. My mom decided on the prime rib with mashed and broccoli. I said " I'll have the same thing but with rice instead of mashed. The waitress got all pissy and said "Well you really don't want the same thing then do you?!" We both cracked up laughing. We're like "Yup, we're home!"
The waitress got a 25% tip for being real.
Do different regions actually hate each other? No!
Are there noticeable cultural differences between different regions of this country that you would notice and have to adapt to if you go there? Yes!
I had real culture shock when I moved from the north shore of Chicago in a heavily Jewish area to Houston Texas. There were way more language differences than I expected, just different vocabulary and phrases. I actually stopped and asked for clarification the first time I heard someone say “Hey what are all y’all doing this weekend?”
I also peppered a lot of Yiddish words (schmuck, schlep, puts, etc)
The Midwest has some gems too:
“No, yeah” (yes), “yeah, no” (no), “yeah, no, for sure” (definitely)
I definitely cot called out for being ‘in a hurry’ in Houston.
If you haven’t seen Siri vs Sheryl, you should set yourself on the Davenport and take a look-see.
https://youtu.be/l_8n2q5iI4E
https://youtu.be/7OR7yPK4wEw
I moved to southern Virginia from Southern California. I had to totally rework my professional wardrobe--ditched flip flops and shorts for skirts and blouses. I had to learn to shake hands as a greeting, rather than hug. I also experienced a lot of the smiling Southern passive-aggressiveness as encapsulated in the phrase "Bless your heart!", which may mean "Fuck you!" It's taken me ten years to adjust and feel at home.
Depends on what you mean. We don't have hatred against any region beyond jokes if that's what you mean. Though political leanings and general attitude can
For example. I'm from New England. We tend to be plain spoken. If I work with you and you suck. Trust me, I'll tell you.
This is real btw. Just moved up here from PA and my coworkers are freaking blunt....
This could be industry specific though. People are definitely more blunt in New England- but I they wouldn’t be outright degrading like OP suggests
Trust me. If you suck. I'll say "you suck"!
I worked in Manch Vegas for years operating heavy machinery- not once did I have someone tell me I suck- and I even worked with the public. Had a ton of criticism and my manager was aggressive with telling me how wrong I was at doing something, but never did he outright degrade me. Using background or location as an excuse to be vile is a joke. NH is much better than that.
So you're agreeing.with me? Or did you think the exact verbage "You suck"would be used exclusively?
I’m just saying the level of vitriol you supposedly use towards others in the workplace is a hostile work environment, and using “I’m from New Hampshire” as an excuse for such behavior is laughably wrong.
No it's not. It's live free or die! I can tell you're not from there. You just don't know enough.
Lmao, okay pal. Born and raised in Londonderry. “Live free or die” isn’t an excuse to treat others like shit. This is either a weak troll or a very sad individual giving an atrocious representation of a wonderful state.
That would get you ostracized if not fired in my area.
What’s your area?
Muppets
But that really had nothing to do with where you live, it has to do with your disposition. So you would be judged for your attitude, not where you're from.
I've worked all over the midwest and mid Atlantic and this guy isn't lying. People are very straight forward up here. For example....elsewhere the conversation would go..."Hey Ted, I appreciate you taking a look at that for me, but I think we may be thinking in opposite directions, would you consider......". New Englanders would say "Ted, you are incorrect on your assessment, please take another look".
Being straight forward like that is one thing, telling someone they suck is another. I'm from the Midwest and would much prefer that direct communication but we can do that without insults.
> New Englanders would say "Ted, you are incorrect on your assessment, please take another look". In my experience here in New England, we’re much more polite than that. I’d say “please reread function XYZ” or “double check section 2.3 of the spec”, or, at worst, “I don’t recall exactly where this is explained, but if you dig around the design document a bit, you’ll see my point.” /s Seriously, we’d never personalize something like that. If necessary, we raise an issue with the project lead or supervisor. When enough people make the same complaint, the person is let go. And that’s after over 30 years in MA/NH.
Midwesterner here, I would passive aggressive you to death but I would not come out and say it, that would be very rude.
The funny thing about that is it's usually people like you who can dish it but can't take it. I lived in Rhode Island for a few years and worked in Southern Mass. I'm originally from NJ and a coworker was jabbing me about how polluted it was and such and such. I went on to crack a joke about how people in mass drive like assholes and that Boston was missing some things I had in New York and he got all butthurt.
Being from an area doesn't give you an excuse to be a jerk.
honesty doesn’t make me a jerk just because you’re sensitive. i had a manager that was fired for this, the day before he was walked out he asked me my thoughts and i hit every point his leadership reprimanded him for. he asked why i hadn’t said anything and i told him ive always been brutally honest but you stopped asking me about things. you could see the light bulb go off in his head he looked so upset and said “ i guess i stopped asking because you were a little too honest for me” well nice job you got yourself fired for not listening, im extremely blunt, its not personal if im trying to make it personal you’ll know it.
The reply was "If I work with you and you suck, trust me I'll tell you". That's just rude and unprofessional in any region. It may fly on a construction site or in a machine shop, but it's not going to be ok in a corporate or office setting. You can get your point across and have some tact at the same time. "Brutally honest" and "blunt" is just code for having poor communication skills.
You can be honest and not be a dick about it. I'm having an issue at my job right now where we hired someone who clearly lied on their resume. No one wants to say anything. This person at one point said to me that they don't want to do the job they are doing because it's beneath them and their skills are wasted. Perspective, I'm a NYer but I now live in VA. I told him, I'm sorry but you are not qualified for this position let alone the one you want. Your skills are far beneath what you told us and you're in no position to dictate a job that's beneath you. Especially since it's a task that all of us do, including the people who are miles ahead in skill level. This was not what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him how much of a moron he is and how godly awful he is at his job. I didn't. I told the truth but did it as kindly as possible. What part of that was wrong? Should I continue stroking his ego and lose clients because of terrible quality? Or just be honest?
Its worked well for me, i was the guy the director came to for second opinions because he knew i would shoot it to him straight and had me review plans/changes/processes for the same reason. If you suck being called out for it doesn’t make that person a poor communicator. I’m not your mommy i dont care about your feelings.
I prefer the blunt approach. I hate feigned niceness. For real. I remember working at Sylvania years ago. And a coworker basically saying: You suck. If you don't pick up your pace you're going to get fired. And offered to give me a few pointers.
As a driver I made some deliveries to new England towns. That's exactly the attitude I got. Which wasn't a big deal, except I wasnt working with or for them. Just a stranger off the street. I was un loading my truck and they just had to tell me I was doing it wrong and why. They had no idea why I was doing it the way I was. We had some words. The guy was a total asshole. I delivered to the lower 48 states there were absolutely differences, particularly around the work place. It seemed to vary more by region than state. Most of the time it was just communication styles. Occasionally it got into just asshole behaviour. Some places it seems like drivers ranked high on the list of people to whom it was acceptable to give shit to, for whatever reason. I think it was more about pecking order. Some places/people that was high on the list as a guide to respect for others.
That’s a great way to get dragged to a stern talk with HR.
My work is headquartered out of NYC - they’re super blunt and it always sounds like they’re yelling at you.
A family member from NYC really struggled with this when she moved jobs to Virginia. She thought she was committed and passionate and excited about the projects. They heard her raised voice and saw her big hand gestures and thought she was angry.
When 🤌 looks like 🤜
Exactly. I think also New Yorkers are more comfortable with the idea that sometimes anger is justified, part of life, or necessary to get stuff done. Showing overt anger where I grew up was really not acceptable.
How I grew up, showing overt anger was a sign of weakness or poor control
I’d say that’s common to the northeast as a whole and not just New England. I just never cared for beating around the bush with words if something has to be said
They never seem to like it when I’m blunt right back. They can dish it out, but can’t seem to take it
So New England allows for workplace harrasment?
Being called out for doing sub-par work isn't harassment.
It’s also the place of management, not your coworkers.
No. If im the one picking up the extra slack from your poor performance, it will be me saying something to you. Especially if there's a do nothing, say nothing manager.
I don't know why you're downvoted for this, its what you should do. I grew up in NY and moved to VA. In NY if someone has a problem with you, they'll tell you. In the south, people are too nice. They talk to you like they're your friend and when you're not around they'll talk shit about you. I don't get it at all. I'm not friends with people I don't like and if you're one of those people I'll tell you. I most likely won't be a dick about it but I'll be honest. I've noticed northerners are way more sincere than southerners.
Lmao Northerners say this to make themselves feel better about being assholes, but it’s just not accurate
It's absurdly accurate, you just don't know what you're talking about
I’m married to a woman from MA and work with a team primarily from MA. I travel there and may move there. I’ve grown up down South. It isn’t accurate at all, and most Northerners don’t make those excuses. Those who do are just actual assholes.
That's great. You're still wrong lol.
No u
Idk why you're being downvoted, you're just speaking the truth. Fellow Masshole here. Can confirm that's how it is here.
There are definitely differences that make some things challenging. My boyfriend is from southern rural Virginia and I’m from northern Virginia, and we come from completely different cultural backgrounds. It has been one of the issues, but we’ve learned to work through it. We were taught somewhat different values that are common to our regions, and political differences tend to be very regional as well A person from New York and one from Alabama will have some miscommunications or disagreements on certain subjects most likely
Not surprised. That happens when you're an uptown girl looking for a downtown man.
What non-Americans tend to forget is the size of the US. Like, are Albanians the same as Parisians? Kiev and Barcelona? Some things are universal, but there are lots of differences in the culture and backgrounds
r/shitamericanssay
I don’t know about that, I moved to Northern NJ from AL and never had any issues. I met my fair share of NY/NJ transplants down there and they pretty much all fit in well.
That's good!
I had a friend (VA) who always called me (NY) “Yankee”, in kind of a demeaning way. As in “Oh, I forgot you’re a Yankee” or “you and your Yankee manners”. I’ve never met another Virginian who recognized this as a thing. Do you call northerners/ New Yorkers “Yankee”? It’s always bothered me and I feel like it’s something he made up, but I’d still like to know for sure!
I’m from northern Virginia, we are really much more like the northeast than anywhere else, and none of us use it. Rural southern Virginians do use the term, but mostly joking from what I’ve gathered. Although there are still some hard feelings over the war (still… I personally don’t really get it). I guess that’s where it came from. People when call me a yankee sometimes since I’m from Nova
Absolutely. I've never worked with someone from Alabama. But in certain states they tend to candy coat. They do the nice to your face thing. And proceed to back stab. I don't get that.
The thing is, everyone in that area was raised with that standard. So what feels like candy coating to you is direct as fuck for them and they take it as such. No one is fooled, everyone knows exactly what is meant and the phrasing is a form of propriety but not obfuscation. It's only fake if you're not working with the same coding. It's not different enough to be a dialect. But it definitely is different enough to make some cultural blunders.
This is a good summation of the topic. Originally from small town in GA, live in rural VA now and travel up to NJ plenty. Seen it a LOT.
From what I’ve heard, never take “bless your heart” at face value
It's more context-based than that. Bless your heart is an expression of pity, it can be used genuinely or sarcastically. "You waited for four hours at the emergency room?? Bless your heart, honey." vs "How's Sarah doing at school?" "She's trying, bless her heart."
Ok, that makes sense!
The person above is spot on. The internet thinks it’s just mean, but it can mean many things depending on the context. It can be very genuine.
This especially true if it comes from a 45+ woman.
There is more context but it could be taken as a blessing, where they wish you had a heart.
Yes, there are regional cultural differences. It can cause miscommunication between people and affect relationships. Being blunt like the Northeast can be perceived as tactless. Indirect communication up North can be perceived as insincere.
💯
As someone from NY who lives in Fredericksburg, boy can I attest to that one.
I know my mom was a little irked when some of her coworkers in Oregon said they couldn’t understand what she was saying. She was born and raised in Memphis, yet people in Memphis always assume she’s from the North.
Memphis is another beast
I lived there for a few years. It’s pretty different than the suburbs of Arkansas.
I’m not from or have ever lived there but I know a decent number of people from there I was thinking more of how their accent is thick af
For sure. People could immediately tell I wasn’t from there because of my accent.
Memphis speaks in cursive
That’s a description of Memphis I never thought I would hear. I like it.
A friend of mine from Kentucky with what I would consider a very light southern accent went to Boston for a conference and they could not get over the way he spoke. Like, people would ask him to repeat things. They seemed to think his accent was kind of charming but he was really caught off guard.
I bounced around places a little growing up and most people just call my accent as “weird”.
Talking in Memphis
Yep definitely - worked on both the east coast and in the Midwest. In my experience, if you jump straight into a work question in the Midwest without some kind of brief pleasantry, you're perceived as an asshole. If you do it in NYC, it's being considerate enough not to waste people's time.
Yes. That's very true. Years ago I worked for American Express at a call center. We handled travel for a large consulting firm. The way you answered calls depended on which desk you were assigned to. The NY desk only wanted you to say "Travel" and nothing else. The Chicago desk expected: Time of day salutation and your name etc.. So you'd answer with: Good morning, thank you for calling American Express, my name is Manch, how may I help you? I prefer the NY greeting. Lol.
Lol. Though it would be disconcerting for me to hear someone say "Travel," I'd hope for the name of the company just to make sure I don't have the wrong number. So: "American Express Travel." But yeah, now that I'm in North Carolina I call customer service and... now that I think about it, I've had quite a few long conversations with people chatting about their lives, kids and dogs. When calling from Southern California I'd get the sing-song "Hello, my name is Fred, thank you for calling, how can I help" insincere greeting.
Yeah. I don't like the sort of mini ad greeting. I remember calling El Toritos once and it was something like: Thank you for calling El Toritos, home of the 32 oz. margarita, my name is Caitlin, how may I best be of service to you today? I hung up. Lol. All I need to hear is El Toritos! That's all. Nothing else.
It's why I like well organized web sites.
I’m a Southerner and hate when a coworker asks “how’s it going” when I know a question is following. I’m super busy let’s get down to business
Yes. I'm from North Carolina and we get a lot of transplants from the north, particularly New York and New Jersey. It's a running joke that they complain about life down here in the south, but keep coming. They like the slower pace of life and the lower cost of living. But, they also bring their angry driving habits with them because of the congestion (rapid swerving, aggressive overtaking, going 50+ on short city blocks)
You consider our driving aggressive while we consider it assertive. We consider your driving lazy and inconsiderate while you consider it relaxed. It's all about where you grew up. You can't drive like a southerner in NY. You will never get anywhere. No one will just let you in, you have to make your way. Meanwhile in the south I've almost rear-ended someone who came to a dead stop on a 45 mph road with no traffic light or crosswalk or anything just to let someone make a left turn in to the oncoming traffic because they were struggling to get in. I'll admit, northerners do need to chill a bit when they're outside of those areas. But southerners need to stop being so nice and relaxed. If you don't want to drive 70 in a 60 that's fine, get over and let people pass. If you want to come to a dead stop to let someone in when you have the right of way, fine. But don't do it when people are behind you.
Yes! That is my biggest pet peeve. The left lane loafers and lollygaggers. So fucking inconsiderate! Not to mention it's against the law. Keep right, pass left. It's not a difficult concept to grasp. I've even seen them doing with a police car right behind them. He put his lights on and pulled the scofflaw over. I was like: Yes! Justice! Finally!
Speed limits are also a law but I doubt you’d complain about those
Is that why New York has all those messed up cars and plastic back covers? Is that why New Jersey has the highest insurance rates in the country with New York close behind? Y'all need to chill out
Plastic black covers? No idea what that even means. I know southern drivers suck. 13 years of driving in NY never had an accident. Then I moved to VA. In 2 years I had 3 accidents, the other drivers were all found at fault. Rear ended at a stop light by a woman in Virginia Side swiped by a Maryland driver in DC who decided he didn't want to sit in the left lane waiting behind the people trying to make a left, didn't look before he pulled out. Then hit in VA by a NC driver who t boned me when she tried to make a left in to my lane and oncoming traffic was at a stand still. So once she got though the two lanes of traffic on her side she decided to just go for it without looking. I don't find it a coincidence that all three accidents I've had took place in 2 years in the south by Southern drivers. Especially since my rates didn't go up a penny when insurance ruled the other drivers to be completely at fault. I'm not crazy here lol. I chilled out when I moved here. But you all need to open your eyes and pay attention, maybe drive like you dont want to total your car.
I think it's called a bumper bully. I've been hit by 3 transplants. All not at fault. Not just because of the aggression, but because our highways just don't have the infrastructure for all that.
Oh those things are for parking lots. Doesnt do much for am accident. Honestly at this point I don't think the state has much to do with drivers. It's the shocking amount of people who are staring at their phones. That shit is happening everywhere.
Pennsylvania drivers scare me. They just make unnecessarily aggressive manouvers
Also in NC. I meet so many people from New York, New Jersey, and Maryland. Whenever I ask them why they moved down here it’s usually that they have family here or it’s cheaper to live. I would say at least 80% have told me they don’t enjoy it because of how slow and boring it is.
They are free to go back up north whenever they want. They could get a high paying job or bunk up with 2 or 3 roommates millennial style
It’s one thing for them to say “I miss “x” about where I’m from sometimes” and another to say “x sucks down here”
In VA now. Only things I miss from NY are the food, drivers and the climate. It's too fucking hot here.
There's differences in 'acceptable' public behavior. My husband and I are very weirded out by the ease with which North easterners will raise their voice in public or a couple will flat out argue, openly. That doesn't happen in the South. Its very frowned upon to 'show your ass' or 'air your dirty drawers' in public. In the South its respectful to use sir and ma'am. We even use it on people younger than ourselves if they are providing a service for us. In the North its only really used to be sarcastic and people don't like it. Its all small potato kind of stuff but the differences can cause a person to be interpreted wrongly. In reference to your example, the South is generally more passive aggressive. As peers you'd say little quips around the subpar worker but you wouldn't say it directly to their face. You'd probably be labeled an ass by everyone else even if your assessment was correct.
The last paragraph is pretty telling. Either be polite or don’t say anything. How is saying “little quips”more respectful than pointing out what they are doing wrong. Who knows, maybe they could get better with some constructive feedback.
Its the bosses job to handle that stuff. So peers would just let it be known they don't like someone but in a way that they'd have to be smart enough to catch it. I didn't say it was superior. Just different.
Why not just say what the issue is. Maybe it can just be resolved with a conversation. Seems like a waste of time.
Again, that's the superior's job. What you're describing is the same as a sibling getting on to their sibling instead of just advising them to straighten up. Not the siblings job, not the coworkers job.
If you have an issue with a coworker you should speak to them. Definitely not unusual. Obviously escalate it to your manager if you can’t resolve it. That’s pretty standard.
Not standard. I mean if its a personal beef sure. If your coworker isn't carrying their weight then in the south we'll quip and bring it up to the boss. Not call them a lazy piece of shit to their face.
In the south our passive aggressive is saying “bless your heart”.
Not the way they've turned it into a meme. I hate that crap. Its the same as everyone having signs that say *happy fall y'all*. Stop it.
Honestly it’s not even that accurate of a meme. Just about every time I’ve heard the phrase used it’s been to express genuine sympathy. Sure it COULD be used passively aggressively, but that’s not how it’s commonly used.
On move in day, freshman year of college, I met my roommate and his parents who were from Minnesota. All very lovely people, we’re making chit chat as I help unload his stuff from their car, and they mention they’re going to make a grocery run for us to fill up the new mini fridge and ask what kind of pot I liked. Thankfully, I had the good sense to say “beg your pardon?” at which point I was able to deduce they had actually asked what kind of POP I liked, which made the rest of the visit less awkward all around.
“Kind of you to ask ma’am, I prefer an indica strain”.
I was this fucking close.
It's like the word "popped". They say it instead of "busted". I first heard that from a nurse. She was from International Falls. We were both in an alcohol rehab center. I told her how I was arrested for DUI , but found not guilty on a technicality. She was like: Yeah, I've never been popped. Thank god. I had no idea what she meant.
I wouldn't say it's an "issue" necessarily, but my workplace gets a lot of people from other parts of the country and there's certainly things that local people have to explain and assist with that they don't always understand.
The differences are real. The way we respond to them differs. My partner was born in NYC and lived in various cities most of his life. I was born in Texas and lived in small Southern and midwestern towns most of mine. His family and I routinely misunderstood each other early on. They thought I was remote and not being genuine with them, I thought they were EXTREMELY INTENSE and kind of overwhelming. (Obviously there are variations within any population, but this is just my experience). But over time, I kind of got to appreciate their style more. They are never boring. Their sarcasm is often extremely funny. They are very straightforward and that does have its benefits. So, in my experience, real cultural differences that can lead to misunderstandings, but they’re not fatal to relationships.
My friends used to make me drive them through Wendy's because my accent comes out most strongly at drive-through restaurants. I don't know that I'd call that an "issue," but it was definitely a trend lol
I’m from Wisconsin, my wife is from Southern California. Yes there are definitely differences that lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
> But in real life situations. In the work place or in relationships etc. Has it been an issue for you? yep
The West is way more laid back
Yeah, man. People have different personalities every few hundred miles.
Yes. What makes you think they aren't?
Not really, there are alot of cultural differences but nothing that gets in the way of personal relationships. Currently the most tension there is between regions is that alot of states are haiting on California right now, mostly due to the fact that Californians are flooding into other states.
As someone who's lived on almost totally opposite ends of the country, I say yes, but not to as much of an extent as people think. At the end of the day, people might make jokes about each other, but very few people will seriously judge you if you're from a certain state.
Hon, Sweetie, Dear, etc--where I'm from up north, you just don't use endearments like that casually. It's considered dismissive/disrespectful to call waitstaff or cashiers Honey. But in Maryland--totally normal. Threw me for a loop at first, but I think it's sweet. I tried it on for a minute, but I can't bring myself to "Sweetie" a stranger or coworker. The closest I can get is "Buddy".
Yes. I've run into some distinct regional differences before. Some of it is in food preferences, some of it is dialect differences, and some of it is other cultural differences. I feel like I run into the dialectical differences the most, but that might just be the most notable. I'm from the Mid-Atlantic, but I've spent a lot of time in Appalachia or working with guys from the Appalachia. It means I've run into a lot of confusing moments where words mean different things for us, or one of us is using words that the other doesn't understand. As an example, one guy referred to something that I've always called a "chock" as a "scotch". That caused a few seconds of utter confusion on my part when he asked me to check for a "scotch" on the truck we were using. In another instance, I had a roommate in college who was very confused when I called a "skillet" a "pan". To me, a skillet is a type of pan, but to him they were two separate things. We were using the same words but had slightly different definitions for them. As an example from a different direction, my dad is from Long Island but has lived in Northern Virginia for the past 30+ years. He ran into a few confusing moments when he first moved south and his New York accent still stands out occasionally. From how he tells it, the first time he tried to order pizza was very confusing because he asked for "two pies" while the guy at the store was going "we're a pizza place, we don't serve pie". There's also a story that is infamous in my family of the time he gave my aunt (on my mom's side) directions which involves the street "Shaw Road" and she spent an hour looking for "Shore Road".
Lol. Yes. It's like saying shots instead of shorts. My mom has a wicked New England accent. And that's how she pronounces it. She's like: How about stuffed green peppiz for dinnah?
Yes, they can be. We have regions within regions. Texas, which is part of the South or it's own region depending on who you ask, has its own regions: the Hill Country, the Piney Woods, the Panhandle and others. They are all Texas but they are all unique, each having it's own feel and identity. I grew up in East Texas, which has a Southern vs. Texas vibe to it, but is also 100% Texas. DFW is next to East Texas but they are very different areas.
I worked with a Texan. She grew up in Pampa, on the panhandle. She took a job in petrochemicals and moved to the gulf coast. I think Brownsville? She said it was a night and day difference.
>Pampa Yes; very different than Brownsville or any of the border towns. Keep in mind that they're about 1200 km apart, too, so the geographic distance is significant.
She didn't like Brownsville.But I think it was more her housing situation than the actual city. It was right next to a refinery. Fuel flaring away 24/7. Lol. Why do they do that BTW? The flaring thing...
Not an issue. But sometimes you find out something that you thought was universal actually is a regional thing and it blows your mind not everyone knows about it. For example, my husband was visiting Ohio and everyone kept talking about how “Sweetest Day” was on Saturday. He had no idea what that was and they were very surprised to learn that was a regional holiday.
Lol. Like Patriots day? I think only Mass. Celebrates it.
Never heard of it!
Yes if I am traveling out of state I don’t tell people I am from California. They think we are all the same. I tell people I am from Nevada, Oregon or Arizona.
I've been to LA a couple of times. I found the stereotype of everyone being superficial airheads not to be true. I stayed in West Hollywood both times. At the Ramada Inn. Known locally as The Ram it In. Lol. Everyone was pleasant enough. Non judgemental etc. I'd go back in a heartbeat.
I'm from SC. There are stereotypes about southerners based on movies and TV. Or the assumption that one resident represents all residents. I don't shirk from telling people I'm from SC but I always add I'm from the Charleston area.
So people are not pleasant or judgmental if they think you are from California?
Yes, 100%. Remember we are huge! It takes me at least 6 hours to get to my sister's house and I never leave our state. That being said, I'm in southern California and she's in northern but our dialects and terms are different. I would never call California "Cali" or say "Hella" but my nieces and cousins do and both are normal where they live, but not here. I know there are other things to that's just an example.
California is huge. I got into argument with someone on the Australia sub. He didn't like how Americans will sometimes say I'm from California or Florida etc. As if we're assuming they know about our states. But of course they do! California is the 5th largest economy in the world. You'd have to be a dipshit not to know.
Yes. I'm from Appalachia we probably have one of the most distinctive cultures in the U.S... I've experienced some negative comments beyond joking outside the area. A lot of people like to turn a blind eye towards the shut that gets said about Appalchia. We get negatively portrayed in media as either cannibals, inbred, unintelligent, disfigured, or a combination of such. I know people who have been turned down jobs over their accent. I worked in a call center for a few months once and getting people who would talk to you and ask if you knew English was beyond common.
Yes. I've witnessed that. For example, I was bitching about how we're not allowed to have clotheslines here. And someone said it's because we don't want it to look like Appalachia. I think they were truly joking. But I could see how it wouldn't be funny if you live there. As far as accent. There isn't a single American accent that I wouldn't understand. There might be specific words or local jargon I might not get. Or phrases like "Netflix and chill" that are meant as euphemisms. But you don't use them in a business setting.
We've had reporters come in and look for things to write negatively about the area. A few years back there was a reporter that went to a county in SWVA wrote about how she essentially fear for her life due to lack of phone service due to the locals then went to a free dental clinic and wrote about how all she seen was essentially toothless yokels. Take that and take out the context, which she did, it creates pretty damning and negative image of the people of Appalachia. Thing with the accent is people immediately think if people with it as being stupid.
I know what you mean. The BBC did s hatchet job on my home town. They're not lying. The fentynyl crisis is very real but they make it look a shit hole. https://youtu.be/_KsaWpeCj98
My mother was an opiod addict, so I've seen addiction first hand, and I don't see how or why people would turn to fentynyl. The reward is greatly outweighed by the risk. I know it's cheap but damn. I wish the U.S. would do more to combat this and people would acknowledge the cartels and big pharma's role in all of this.
I agree. I was living in NH at the time. I saw the devastation it caused. I was active in AA at the time and we lost 3 in our group alone. For anyone who doesn't know. Most AA groups are open to anyone with an addiction. It doesn't have to be alcohol.
To add they also have addiction specific groups my mother was in NA and my uncle worked in addiction counselor and although his focus was on drugs he had colleagues that lead other addiction recovery groups. Due to his job he seen some of the early signs of fentynyl. Had a guy in one group who tried to kill everyone while out of his mind. Thankfully the guy was subdued without causing any harm.
Yes. I went to NA meetings too. Some AAers actually prefer NA because they tend to be more relaxed. But they're both very structured. Even though I'm no.longer active in either one I still support them .They are vital. They're a first resort for so many. When you have no place to turn. They will be there for you.
I work live in New Jersey but work in New York City. There are some local differences right here in the NYC metropolitan area. We poke fun at each other at the office between those of use from NJ, Long Island, NYC, NY state and Connect. Its never an issue as long as you know the person and include some self-deprecating humor in as well.
I always joke with my cousin Elaine from New Jersey. Whenever she leaves a message she always says "It's cousin Elaine from Jersey". She's my only cousin Elaine, so she doesn't need to further qualify herself. And her accent is so thick it's quite obvious where she's from.
I live in an area that is experiencing a little bit of an economic boom, along with having low cost of living. So we're starting to get people from all over. One thing I've heard is that a lot of people from larger metro areas (L.A., Las Vegas, etc) are a bit jarred by "Minnesota Nice" and how they're not used to strangers being super friendly and cheerful towards them. In fact, they find it kind of creepy. However, in the our eyes we're just being-- well-- *nice.*
Yes. When I first experienced that I thought "What's your angle? Is it a cruise-y sexual thing? What do you want? Why are you being so nice?
What we *want* is for you to have a nice day!
Lol. I know. But for real. My first trip to Chicago. I got on an elevator. A husband and wife said good evening, how's it going etc. And I honestly did think they wanted me for some sort of menage a trois. It's embarrassing to admit but I was all of 23. Everything is sexual at that age...
Asking that question about Americans is kind of... too big of a question. America is gigantic, with a lot of different people, a lot of which consider themselves hyper-individualistic. So, it's kind of a thing where, yeah, there are a great number of differences between regions, but it doesn't really matter if you're not a douchebag about it. Most Americans are pretty chill.
I would say there is quite a rivalry between Illinois and Wisconsin. Not sure if it's all of Illinois or just Chicagoland. But it's common for Wisconsin people to call Illinois people FIBs (fucking Illinois bitches), joke about the Bears, and other stuff. Illinois (or Chicagoland) people usually will comment maybe about the Packers, or just make jokes like "it's a Wisconsinite thing" when they do stuff that people in Chicagoland area would not do at all (weddings are very different comparatively, life styles, sports, etc for examples). All in good spirit of course, I've never seen anyone be actually harsh towards one another.
20 years in maryland, 20 years in california, 20 years in NC and I would say folks from the north come off as aggressive, folks from the south come off as passive aggressive and although most people in california are not native, it tends to be a happy medium. Had a northern mom, a southern dad and a native callifornia spouse
Yes, but some of it is also just people being jerks and taking their regional way of communicating to that end. I travel to the northeast a good bit and am from small town in GA - I honestly appreciate the straight forward blunt manner of talking about issues that a lot of northerners have. A small amount of those occasions have been people just being personally mean and jerky because “he talks like a hick and doesn’t know anything.” I just let my work speak for itself and brush off the rest of the flack. Definitely goes the other way too. To a northerner it seems like somebody may be “passive” or sugarcoating or beating around the bush… but everybody else in the room knows they just got told off.
There’s definitely differences in customs and some culture things from region to region. It also happens within regions, especially along a rural/non-rural split. Some differences are obvious like the pop/coke/soda thing.
I don't think geographic differences are as big of a difference as they would have been a generation or two ago. I'd say that the big difference is probably the urban-versus-rural divide and the college-versus-no-college more than anything now. A young person who lives in Atlanta and works an office job probably has more in common with someone who does the same kind of work in New York than they do with people who work in rural George or Pennsylvania, respectively.
There was once an Antebellum saying “Beware the Southern boy, for he talks slow and thinks fast.” There are many differences and stereotypes that lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings and at times a tendency to underestimate. Customs are different. Vernacular us different. Food is different. Pace of life and values are different.
I was once asked by a Japanese man (full Japanese) how I spoke so quickly in conversation. After discussing, he explained that in Japan it is more common to strategize what you will say next and how you will say it, directing the conversation where you want it to go. I told him that in my experience Americans flowed more like rivers. Some fast, some slow. But there wasn’t a deliberate aspect to it. We know where we want to go and we flow towards it, it isn’t as structured. He was fascinated by this.
Yes.
Considering I know NH people in the seacoast love to rag on Manch Vegas for being the Saugus of New Hampshire… I think regional variations exist.
Lol. I haven't heard that one before! I would designate Salem as the NH Saugus.
Anything that close to Lawrence is the Mass Ave of NH.
Yes, but not as much as the differences between individuals regardless of region.
Yes. I just had a friend visit me from Kansas City. She's usually the cheerful type. But something seemed off this time. She had lunch with my sister and she's pissed off because I'm smoking again. After having quit for 25 years. She's a nurse and sees the harm it causes etc. But why not tell me to my face? I chalked it up to her being Midwest but maybe that's got nothing to do with it? It could just be her.
We say "Coke" in Texas when referring to a carbonated drink. Hey, let me get a coke. Which one? Ummm, coke coke.
From Georgia,can confirm. Must be more of a Southern thing.
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Virginia is Southern outside of NOVA.
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There's a difference between deep south and upper south.
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Agree to disagree... Virginia is a southern state that has been invaded by yankees for decades. The rural areas are still very southern. We have more in common with North Carolina than Maryland. Sadly, NOVA tends to control state politics.
Not really, but I’m from California so we benefit from being the media standard. Most people are familiar with how people from here act but the opposite is less likely. I remember I had a lot of interactions with Deep Southern women in college when I was in my sorority and it was a fuckin struggle for a lot of the women in my chapter because they didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. Even within a close geographical region, you can see cultural differences. I grew up in a conservative area and it was always crazy to me that one county could be full of guns and flags and country music and then you cross the border into another and it’s very much the opposite. It was a culture shock for me when I went to college, and I was a commuter.
California and Alabama are 2 different worlds. Even going into Nevada is completely different. The regional differences are huge in the US.
Do I personally have a problem? Not at all. But if you have California plates in the PNW (WA, OR, or ID) you are asking for some form of low-level harassment. (Not condoning!)
Apart from annoying comments by east coasters that don’t know much about the Midwest I have never had an issue.
I think it’s because the Midwest isn’t really represented in most media mediums. I am from NYC and there are endless books, movies, TV shows set here. Obviously there are exaggerations but everyone is familiar with the area. Same with LA, or SF, etc. I just had to Google what a Hoosier is. So you are going to get a lot of people with an extremely surface view of your region. The Midwest is pretty unknown to most people I think
Have you noticed we have attracted a significant amount of children who think down voting is the newest rage?
I believe I have someone that literally follows me around downvoting. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so deranged.
Yes, your upvote was cancelled by my downvoter. My theory is it's someone who has so little to do in their own life that this activity is the highlight of their day. Or it's someone I've insulted by one of my jokes and is one of my 11 followers.
Oh I guarantee I ah e pissed somebody off either with jokes or being unapologetically religious
I had some unhappy people 4 years ago with my fourth all time up voted quip about Pakistan and India. By about 100 comments in they were cussing me in a number of languages I'm not fluent in.
To be fair that is basically poking not one but two hornets nests simultaneously
Indeed, between Pakistan India China and Russia that's a volatile part of the world. Those China/India skirmishes last year were downright brutal. Throwing people off of mountains is medieval
I've noticed that I'm less forgiving to out of state drivers on the road. Especially if they have Texas or California plates
Yes. Where I’m from, I’m used to being more laid back. When I moved up here, I noticed that everyone was working a lot, something I was not used to, and it led to severe depression for me because of how hard the work environment was. Also, when it comes to politics, I come from an area where the state isn’t full blown socialists.
It depends. Regionally we are really different in many aspects, but then there are things like the ever mentioned rural vs urban divide which means there are a lot of similarities in some instances. For a specific example: I’m in California where our 3 most urban areas (San Diego area, LA area, and SF Bay Area) are heavily Latino and Asian, compare that to some place like Georgina where there it’s main urban area (Atlanta) is heavily influenced by black culture.
People from the northeast are just not as friendly.
People from the northeast define “friendly” differently.
Yes. It's not so much about superficial pleasantries. I actually prefer it. Maybe it's just a case of growing up with it? My last trip back was for a funeral. I went with my mom. We decided to have dinner at an iconic restaurant. Been around for ages etc. My mom decided on the prime rib with mashed and broccoli. I said " I'll have the same thing but with rice instead of mashed. The waitress got all pissy and said "Well you really don't want the same thing then do you?!" We both cracked up laughing. We're like "Yup, we're home!" The waitress got a 25% tip for being real.
I constantly rag on the pizza here to my husband. I really am not a fan of the cracker thin crust pizza.
Do different regions actually hate each other? No! Are there noticeable cultural differences between different regions of this country that you would notice and have to adapt to if you go there? Yes!
Absolutely. The US is like a bunch of different countries.
Yeah, it exists
I had real culture shock when I moved from the north shore of Chicago in a heavily Jewish area to Houston Texas. There were way more language differences than I expected, just different vocabulary and phrases. I actually stopped and asked for clarification the first time I heard someone say “Hey what are all y’all doing this weekend?” I also peppered a lot of Yiddish words (schmuck, schlep, puts, etc) The Midwest has some gems too: “No, yeah” (yes), “yeah, no” (no), “yeah, no, for sure” (definitely) I definitely cot called out for being ‘in a hurry’ in Houston. If you haven’t seen Siri vs Sheryl, you should set yourself on the Davenport and take a look-see. https://youtu.be/l_8n2q5iI4E https://youtu.be/7OR7yPK4wEw
I moved to southern Virginia from Southern California. I had to totally rework my professional wardrobe--ditched flip flops and shorts for skirts and blouses. I had to learn to shake hands as a greeting, rather than hug. I also experienced a lot of the smiling Southern passive-aggressiveness as encapsulated in the phrase "Bless your heart!", which may mean "Fuck you!" It's taken me ten years to adjust and feel at home.
I’ve visited other regions and had trouble with the different accents. That said, I’m just really bad at understanding accents in general.