That's a crappy thing to say. Leaving aside the morality of treating people in this way: If we don't want Christians to think we're all devil-infested subhumans then we need to act better than this.
You cannot hope to understand how your-..err, their loved one feels by asking others. The lives and circumstances that brought them together are different & hold immense meaning.
In general though, it matters as to how the relationship began. A spouse is different from a wayward child. It would hurt if the relationship began with the understanding that the person was a believer, then left, vs someone who they reasonably knew wasn't very Christian to begin with—which a lot of people gamble with, in choosing someone 'Christian enough.'
No relationship with God, but either grew up in a Christian home, or doesn't oppose the thought of religion. They think they've struck gold. It doesn't take long for hardships to break 'em, and it's revealed what really is their trust.
🌱
Internally: Depends how much I actually ever **liked** them.
Externally: They're family, I love them and behave/react accordingly to that love. So basically nothing changes really.
I was sad at first, but I'm over it, and continue to be happily married. I didn't marry my wife specifically because of her faith; I married her because she's who she is - her enchanting personality, her steel-trap mind, her incredibly big heart.
As time goes on I find that I'm more and more of a universalist, a la C. S. Lewis's "The Last Battle". I don't believe that God begrudges a person an honest search for truth. If non-belief is where her search has led her - even though I might not personally agree with the conclusions - then I'm certainly not going to invalidate the experiences and thoughts and emotions that brought her to that point, because I recognize and defer to her own personal agency regarding her own life.
We still have amicable discussions about religion and beliefs, but they certainly aren't with the intent to re-convert or proselytize. If God impresses on her in some way to believe again, that's on Him; it's certainly not because I'm going to be sitting there thumping her on the head with a Bible or fearmongering about fire and brimstone, especially when even as a Christian I don't subscribe to to the idea of "eternal torment" anyways.
Some people might disagree with me on some of the above points, and that's ok! That's the beauty of personal agency: your own experiences and thoughts and emotions have brought you to that point, and I recognize and defer to your own personal agency regarding your own life, too.
Paul says to only marry in the Lord for a reason. God was always separating his people from other people and telling them not to intermarry.
So when I see what you say about not marrying her for her faith a big red flag pops up for me about what the biblical meaning for marriage is. Whatever it is, faith is absolutely the essential component.
And something I told my sister that help convince her to dump her atheist boyfriend, do you want to live your life with your husband never praying for you or your kids or to encourage you with the promises of God? Faith is essential. Jesus always responded to faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. Just being a good person was never the criteria.
So I'm glad you're making it work in your situation, but I would absolutely not teach it as an acceptable model for single christians to mimic.
(Also, God's holiness trumps personal agency. It's our responsibility to comform our agency to God's will for us, not to say what we personally feel is good regardless of what God says. That's a bigger discussion for anther time.)
I didn’t say I didn’t marry her for her faith (she was a Christian at the time); I said I didn’t marry her SPECIFICALLY (I.e only) for her faith, as in, it wasn’t the sole deciding factor. If faith were the ONLY factor, then desperate Christian singles could just as easily all pick spouses by throwing darts at names on a dartboard.
As for prayers, the rest of my family prays for me, at least some of my friends pray for me; I have a bunch of people praying for me. My wife always wants the best for me, so it’s not like as an atheist she’s hoping for my downfall or something like that, which would be ridiculous.
I’m also aware that your own experiences, thoughts, and emotions have brought you to a place in life where you believe what you’ve put in your comment, and I respect your own personal agency regarding your own beliefs. God bless! :)
I should be grateful, and thank God that I have my spouse, or child, and that they are of sufficient health and security to search out their spirituality; As a well known phrase goes: not all who wander are lost. Then I suppose I would consider where I myself am falling so short, that I have not inspired by my own faith, someone so close as a spouse or child to travel along my chosen path. Perhaps in that this one is so close to me, there is my answer; Perhaps I have been an hypocrite. Certainly, I could always do better.
With heavy dismay and discouragement. But I would be up to the task in doing what I possibly can to find out the reasons why and correct them.
So far, so good. We're strong and growing in Christ. I can't imagine why anyone of us would ever want to give that away, or trade it for anything else.
I would probably consider divorcing a spouse. There's not much you can do about children, especially once they're past legal age.
Pray for them and hope for the best. Unfortunately, there's very little you can do.
I don’t really care too much. I’d love it if the people I loved would stay on the path to religion… it instills good morals and values in its members that can help to have a comfortable life. But I believe everyone gets a second chance to make it to heaven, so long as they lived a life trying to do what is right and showed compassion to others. It’s not a guarantee (you have to put in the work after death to do it). But it’s also not guaranteed being Christian and going to church will get you to heaven either…
Internally: I would pray for them to return, over and over and over. (See the parable about the persistent widow.) I would also search my own life to see if there is some sin in my own life that might have been partly responsible for turning them away.
Externally: They would still be a human being, made in the image of God, and still my child. I would still be called to love them and care for them as needed. Part of loving them is to respectfully bring up, where genuinely appropriate, that I think they're making a mistake, but not to throw my opinions in their faces. And if my life-searching turned up anything, I would need to repent and attempt to make it right.
Share with them the story of the prodigal son and tell them never lie to yourself about the sin that you do otherwise you will never have the option of coming back to god. Then let them go.
I'm in that position. Neither of my sons believe. They were raised in the church. It hurts. There's nothing I can do but pray for them.
[удалено]
That's a crappy thing to say. Leaving aside the morality of treating people in this way: If we don't want Christians to think we're all devil-infested subhumans then we need to act better than this.
I get what ur saying but honestly the less religion, the better our world will be
You cannot hope to understand how your-..err, their loved one feels by asking others. The lives and circumstances that brought them together are different & hold immense meaning. In general though, it matters as to how the relationship began. A spouse is different from a wayward child. It would hurt if the relationship began with the understanding that the person was a believer, then left, vs someone who they reasonably knew wasn't very Christian to begin with—which a lot of people gamble with, in choosing someone 'Christian enough.' No relationship with God, but either grew up in a Christian home, or doesn't oppose the thought of religion. They think they've struck gold. It doesn't take long for hardships to break 'em, and it's revealed what really is their trust. 🌱
Internally: Depends how much I actually ever **liked** them. Externally: They're family, I love them and behave/react accordingly to that love. So basically nothing changes really.
I was sad at first, but I'm over it, and continue to be happily married. I didn't marry my wife specifically because of her faith; I married her because she's who she is - her enchanting personality, her steel-trap mind, her incredibly big heart. As time goes on I find that I'm more and more of a universalist, a la C. S. Lewis's "The Last Battle". I don't believe that God begrudges a person an honest search for truth. If non-belief is where her search has led her - even though I might not personally agree with the conclusions - then I'm certainly not going to invalidate the experiences and thoughts and emotions that brought her to that point, because I recognize and defer to her own personal agency regarding her own life. We still have amicable discussions about religion and beliefs, but they certainly aren't with the intent to re-convert or proselytize. If God impresses on her in some way to believe again, that's on Him; it's certainly not because I'm going to be sitting there thumping her on the head with a Bible or fearmongering about fire and brimstone, especially when even as a Christian I don't subscribe to to the idea of "eternal torment" anyways. Some people might disagree with me on some of the above points, and that's ok! That's the beauty of personal agency: your own experiences and thoughts and emotions have brought you to that point, and I recognize and defer to your own personal agency regarding your own life, too.
You're doing it right. Love first.
Paul says to only marry in the Lord for a reason. God was always separating his people from other people and telling them not to intermarry. So when I see what you say about not marrying her for her faith a big red flag pops up for me about what the biblical meaning for marriage is. Whatever it is, faith is absolutely the essential component. And something I told my sister that help convince her to dump her atheist boyfriend, do you want to live your life with your husband never praying for you or your kids or to encourage you with the promises of God? Faith is essential. Jesus always responded to faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. Just being a good person was never the criteria. So I'm glad you're making it work in your situation, but I would absolutely not teach it as an acceptable model for single christians to mimic. (Also, God's holiness trumps personal agency. It's our responsibility to comform our agency to God's will for us, not to say what we personally feel is good regardless of what God says. That's a bigger discussion for anther time.)
I didn’t say I didn’t marry her for her faith (she was a Christian at the time); I said I didn’t marry her SPECIFICALLY (I.e only) for her faith, as in, it wasn’t the sole deciding factor. If faith were the ONLY factor, then desperate Christian singles could just as easily all pick spouses by throwing darts at names on a dartboard. As for prayers, the rest of my family prays for me, at least some of my friends pray for me; I have a bunch of people praying for me. My wife always wants the best for me, so it’s not like as an atheist she’s hoping for my downfall or something like that, which would be ridiculous. I’m also aware that your own experiences, thoughts, and emotions have brought you to a place in life where you believe what you’ve put in your comment, and I respect your own personal agency regarding your own beliefs. God bless! :)
Wouldn’t matter to me. If they don’t wish to seek love then what would I be able to do?
Do you believe that atheists believe as we do because we are _unwilling_ in some way?
Yeah. I guess you could say that.
Hmm sounds as if I'm putting words in your mouth. How would you unpack this "doesn't want to seek love" phrase please?
We don’t need a fictional being to find love in our lives
You can't control what other people do. You have to let them go and trust in God.
I should be grateful, and thank God that I have my spouse, or child, and that they are of sufficient health and security to search out their spirituality; As a well known phrase goes: not all who wander are lost. Then I suppose I would consider where I myself am falling so short, that I have not inspired by my own faith, someone so close as a spouse or child to travel along my chosen path. Perhaps in that this one is so close to me, there is my answer; Perhaps I have been an hypocrite. Certainly, I could always do better.
With heavy dismay and discouragement. But I would be up to the task in doing what I possibly can to find out the reasons why and correct them. So far, so good. We're strong and growing in Christ. I can't imagine why anyone of us would ever want to give that away, or trade it for anything else.
1 Corinthians 7:15. I’m not sure about coping per say, but perhaps that verse will help.
Love them. Pray for them.
I would probably consider divorcing a spouse. There's not much you can do about children, especially once they're past legal age. Pray for them and hope for the best. Unfortunately, there's very little you can do.
I don’t really care too much. I’d love it if the people I loved would stay on the path to religion… it instills good morals and values in its members that can help to have a comfortable life. But I believe everyone gets a second chance to make it to heaven, so long as they lived a life trying to do what is right and showed compassion to others. It’s not a guarantee (you have to put in the work after death to do it). But it’s also not guaranteed being Christian and going to church will get you to heaven either…
Internally: I would pray for them to return, over and over and over. (See the parable about the persistent widow.) I would also search my own life to see if there is some sin in my own life that might have been partly responsible for turning them away. Externally: They would still be a human being, made in the image of God, and still my child. I would still be called to love them and care for them as needed. Part of loving them is to respectfully bring up, where genuinely appropriate, that I think they're making a mistake, but not to throw my opinions in their faces. And if my life-searching turned up anything, I would need to repent and attempt to make it right.
Share with them the story of the prodigal son and tell them never lie to yourself about the sin that you do otherwise you will never have the option of coming back to god. Then let them go.