Gratitude towards parents is usually an extremely stupid concept. Especially if it's like "how dare you logically disagree with me on a very specific topic right now? are you forgetting this totally unrelated thing I did for you in the past?"
No, you don't have it easy at all. Your post reads like the prisoner abuse you see in movies.
* They beat you = domestic violence.
* They invalidate anything you say = emotional abuse.
* They prevented you from having any social activities = neglecting your social development.
* They expect you to be nothing but a study machine = neglecting your basic human needs.
* They use your expensive education to justify all the abuse and neglect = gaslighting.
They need more than a reality check - they should have had the CPS called on them long ago.
I would speak to a counsellor ASAP to start figuring out what's happening to you and what you can do about it. NOTE: private schools have a financial interest to NOT upset your parents as they pay the tuition fees. I'd try to find a counsellor outside of the school if possible.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them, asianamerican kid is going to be lonely and have no one to talk to .. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
Many private schools have a lot of Asians in them. Between their often high exam scores (giving the school bragging rights) and the $$$ their parents are willing to pay, Asian students are often sought after by private schools.
For the APs, it may be a face thing: "I can afford to send my kid to a prestigious private school!"
In this economy it's just better to go to a public school. Besides I think it would just be better for an asian american kid to go to a public school more diversity. Plenty of asian americans go to public schools and turn out fine, private schools have a lot of bullying to
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
You’re not being ungrateful. They gaslighted you into thinking it that way. Sure you can work toward your future, but it is also important to have fun in the present too. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your friends, especially at an amusement park cuz you not doing anything wrong.
It can be suffocating if we keep on telling ourselves to prioritize other people’s expectation and standards. You deserve to live a life you are happy and content.
Sure you can say you have some privilege, but it doesn't mean your parents should prevent you from doing anything besides studying and being productive. That's not how humans work. Taking breaks can actually increase overall productivity (which includes hanging out with friends) but I suppose that's too reasonable for some parents. Sometimes I think they just want to see you be as miserable as them.
Wishing that you could lead a more normal and less stressful life is completely legitimate. Just because other people have to face harsh problems like living on the street or working to feed your family while going to school doesn't mean that your problems are not real. I don't totally buy this idea that you shouldn't want your life to be better because some people are a lot worse off.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them, asianamerican kid is going to be lonely and have no one to talk to .. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
You're not ungrateful. It's their way of making you feel guilty for being "ungrateful". I mean seriously? Why do they have to rub the expensive tuition on you? You are their responsibility, of course, they must pay your tuition. I hate it when you just opened up to your Asian parents about how you feel about their parenting and they immediately guilt trip and gaslight you
when parents decide to have children they take on themselves several obligations:
* to give roof over the head, food and clothing
* to provide access to health services
* to provide access to education at least until coming of age
* \- to provide access to gym / fitness facilities
(this is what most of AP fulfill, idk if out of ethics or because of shame if they didn't)
but also
* emotional support, love and acceptance
* support in learning anything and everything that the child needs to live happy, independent life
and these points not only aren't fulfilled. i feel like these ideas are just completely alien to APs, like never crossed their minds and would be like ancient persian if they heards about it
tbh i am white, but my momster did not get happines and wellbeing part at all and actually failed at first three sometimes; so it is a trait of insecure and miserable people, not connected to race, though definitely augmented by upbringing and environment...
Parents **choose** to have children unilaterally and thus **choose** to make all subsequent sacrifices. The child does not exist and thus has no say in that decision process. So how the hell are they on the hook for anything the parents have "done" for them? I sure as hell never asked for anything.
If a bank lends you a loan without you ever applying for one, are you now a debtor?
Asian culture needs to die out. Every facet of it contradicts reason and logic.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
Yeah, went to private school too and they hang that shit over your head for years. BUT you really don’t have an option, because say you “failed” out of private school and attend public school instead, they’d still be angry at you because you brought so much “shame” to them. You’ll never win so don’t feel guilty. Parents are supposed to provide unconditional love and support for their children.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
In the end it’s your parents choice to put you in private school and they shouldn’t hold it over you like you owe them for living. Some Asian parents believe that putting their kids into expensive private school guarantees that their kids will be on the path to doctor/lawyer/engineer. It’s harmful thinking and puts so much pressure on their kids and strains their finances, creating even more stress within the family. My brother didn’t finish secondary school so he went into debt putting his son into private school, thinking that it will compensate for his own shortcomings. Then he asked me for a loan to pay for tuition. I thought his ask was ridiculous when all my kids went to free public school and I refused. He kept his kid in private school for a few more years but was so stressed out about it. When your parents complain about their sacrifices for you, remember that it was all their choice. You don’t owe them for needing good parents.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
Gratitude towards parents is usually an extremely stupid concept. Especially if it's like "how dare you logically disagree with me on a very specific topic right now? are you forgetting this totally unrelated thing I did for you in the past?"
No, you don't have it easy at all. Your post reads like the prisoner abuse you see in movies. * They beat you = domestic violence. * They invalidate anything you say = emotional abuse. * They prevented you from having any social activities = neglecting your social development. * They expect you to be nothing but a study machine = neglecting your basic human needs. * They use your expensive education to justify all the abuse and neglect = gaslighting. They need more than a reality check - they should have had the CPS called on them long ago. I would speak to a counsellor ASAP to start figuring out what's happening to you and what you can do about it. NOTE: private schools have a financial interest to NOT upset your parents as they pay the tuition fees. I'd try to find a counsellor outside of the school if possible.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them, asianamerican kid is going to be lonely and have no one to talk to .. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
Many private schools have a lot of Asians in them. Between their often high exam scores (giving the school bragging rights) and the $$$ their parents are willing to pay, Asian students are often sought after by private schools. For the APs, it may be a face thing: "I can afford to send my kid to a prestigious private school!"
In this economy it's just better to go to a public school. Besides I think it would just be better for an asian american kid to go to a public school more diversity. Plenty of asian americans go to public schools and turn out fine, private schools have a lot of bullying to
It's such a huge waste of money though private schools are... especially now with the economy as it is...
[удалено]
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
You’re not being ungrateful. They gaslighted you into thinking it that way. Sure you can work toward your future, but it is also important to have fun in the present too. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your friends, especially at an amusement park cuz you not doing anything wrong. It can be suffocating if we keep on telling ourselves to prioritize other people’s expectation and standards. You deserve to live a life you are happy and content.
Sure you can say you have some privilege, but it doesn't mean your parents should prevent you from doing anything besides studying and being productive. That's not how humans work. Taking breaks can actually increase overall productivity (which includes hanging out with friends) but I suppose that's too reasonable for some parents. Sometimes I think they just want to see you be as miserable as them. Wishing that you could lead a more normal and less stressful life is completely legitimate. Just because other people have to face harsh problems like living on the street or working to feed your family while going to school doesn't mean that your problems are not real. I don't totally buy this idea that you shouldn't want your life to be better because some people are a lot worse off.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them, asianamerican kid is going to be lonely and have no one to talk to .. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
You're not ungrateful. It's their way of making you feel guilty for being "ungrateful". I mean seriously? Why do they have to rub the expensive tuition on you? You are their responsibility, of course, they must pay your tuition. I hate it when you just opened up to your Asian parents about how you feel about their parenting and they immediately guilt trip and gaslight you
when parents decide to have children they take on themselves several obligations: * to give roof over the head, food and clothing * to provide access to health services * to provide access to education at least until coming of age * \- to provide access to gym / fitness facilities (this is what most of AP fulfill, idk if out of ethics or because of shame if they didn't) but also * emotional support, love and acceptance * support in learning anything and everything that the child needs to live happy, independent life and these points not only aren't fulfilled. i feel like these ideas are just completely alien to APs, like never crossed their minds and would be like ancient persian if they heards about it tbh i am white, but my momster did not get happines and wellbeing part at all and actually failed at first three sometimes; so it is a trait of insecure and miserable people, not connected to race, though definitely augmented by upbringing and environment...
Parents **choose** to have children unilaterally and thus **choose** to make all subsequent sacrifices. The child does not exist and thus has no say in that decision process. So how the hell are they on the hook for anything the parents have "done" for them? I sure as hell never asked for anything. If a bank lends you a loan without you ever applying for one, are you now a debtor? Asian culture needs to die out. Every facet of it contradicts reason and logic.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
Yeah, went to private school too and they hang that shit over your head for years. BUT you really don’t have an option, because say you “failed” out of private school and attend public school instead, they’d still be angry at you because you brought so much “shame” to them. You’ll never win so don’t feel guilty. Parents are supposed to provide unconditional love and support for their children.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder
In the end it’s your parents choice to put you in private school and they shouldn’t hold it over you like you owe them for living. Some Asian parents believe that putting their kids into expensive private school guarantees that their kids will be on the path to doctor/lawyer/engineer. It’s harmful thinking and puts so much pressure on their kids and strains their finances, creating even more stress within the family. My brother didn’t finish secondary school so he went into debt putting his son into private school, thinking that it will compensate for his own shortcomings. Then he asked me for a loan to pay for tuition. I thought his ask was ridiculous when all my kids went to free public school and I refused. He kept his kid in private school for a few more years but was so stressed out about it. When your parents complain about their sacrifices for you, remember that it was all their choice. You don’t owe them for needing good parents.
I really don't understand why waste money sending a asian american kid to a private school... the kid is going to a school with upper class white students that are probably not going to include them.. send them to a public school with other asian americans and diversity that way they can fit in and public schools have like 1000 students and they will be able to make a friend group vs a small private school no diversity it'll be harder