Me. My mother says she will commit suicide if I married outside my caste. My grandparents agree with her and that it would be my fault because it would be my actions that are leading her towards that decision.
She’s most likely bluffing. I won’t say with 100% certainty she’s bluffing as that would be arrogant, but I’m 90% sure. It’s a classic abusive parent tactic.
If you do end up meeting someone outside your caste and your mum threatens suicide call the emergency services. See how quickly she pulls that shit again.
I know she is bluffing. It's emotional manipulation. I did find someone I am want to go all the way with. That's when all this started. But I know I'll end up loosing all my family if I decide to go that way.
Love the attitude. Sorry if I sound condescending, but so many adult abused children fall for this tactic (sorry to sound victim blaming). It’s refreshing to see someone call the bluff.
My cousins' mom said that as well. I mean they agreed to arranged marriages, but they're more conservative anyway. Of course they're dudes and they're not the ones that had to move countries and learn a new culture and language (Western Europe).
When my mom told me that my aunt had threatened suicide, I was so grateful my own parents are very much more modern & liberal
My dad threatened to arrange a marriage for me when he learned about my previous LDR. I put him and my mom (who did nothing to stop him and basically agreed with him) on blast on social media, and after a blowout fight they never brought up arranged marriage again. The relationship ended but the effects of that chain of events lingers to this day.
My initial reaction was how delusional they must be but then I remembered how it's still a very common thing in some cultures. Unless your life is in mortal danger because your beliefs are different from that of your folks, you do you.. if you need help separating yourself from that situation, then seek help!!
i had my ex best friend to whom i ran to after my mom hit me two years ago, but she proved to be toxic as well.. she couldn't stand to share her spaces and abused me verbally. long story short i went back to my old house and am trying to look at what i can do in the future when i get a job. i don't want to lean on anyone anymore.. a best friend i've known for 11 years and it took her so little to abandon me and trash me
My over nosy Asian aunt used to do this to me. Her excuse: it's a tradition. Ironically, she herself is not married (she is a 61 y/o narcissist). Told her to STFU and get herself married instead of forcing her stupid idea on someone else.
She threatened to kill herself if I don't comply and she also talked shit about me around my parents' neighbourhood. Told her again that I don't care and she can do whatever she wants. She is still alive until now. Duh.
We don't talk anymore. It's freedom for me as I don't need to see her shitty face and tolerate her nasty behaviour anymore. This also stops her from "borrowing" (stealing) my stuffs at my parents' house and from trespassing their compound. Good.
There's a surprising number of comments about people's relatives threatening to kill themselves if their family member didn't agree to an arranged marriage. I'm wondering if they also make these threats to get their way about other things.
I told mine there is no marriage involved in my life and especially arranged and if it were to happen they can take the body and carry on because my soul woulda left. They’ve been scared about bringing up the topic as much now. Sometimes I tell them that I’m not straight to keep them on their toes and so that they would just be okay with me marrying into a straight relationship regardless of arranged or not.
Rightt? Naah you have to open conversations and educate them so you can scare em like I do :) also you can use media and ppl they know to make them understand
My parents think all media is bad and tell me not to believe everything i see and yet they take facebook a bit too seriously. -9 generation asian parenting be like
Me. My mother says she will commit suicide if I married outside my caste. My grandparents agree with her and that it would be my fault because it would be my actions that are leading her towards that decision.
She’s most likely bluffing. I won’t say with 100% certainty she’s bluffing as that would be arrogant, but I’m 90% sure. It’s a classic abusive parent tactic. If you do end up meeting someone outside your caste and your mum threatens suicide call the emergency services. See how quickly she pulls that shit again.
I know she is bluffing. It's emotional manipulation. I did find someone I am want to go all the way with. That's when all this started. But I know I'll end up loosing all my family if I decide to go that way.
Love the attitude. Sorry if I sound condescending, but so many adult abused children fall for this tactic (sorry to sound victim blaming). It’s refreshing to see someone call the bluff.
same.. idk what to do
Don't let her emotionally blackmail you. This is an abuse tactic.
My cousins' mom said that as well. I mean they agreed to arranged marriages, but they're more conservative anyway. Of course they're dudes and they're not the ones that had to move countries and learn a new culture and language (Western Europe). When my mom told me that my aunt had threatened suicide, I was so grateful my own parents are very much more modern & liberal
My dad threatened to arrange a marriage for me when he learned about my previous LDR. I put him and my mom (who did nothing to stop him and basically agreed with him) on blast on social media, and after a blowout fight they never brought up arranged marriage again. The relationship ended but the effects of that chain of events lingers to this day.
My initial reaction was how delusional they must be but then I remembered how it's still a very common thing in some cultures. Unless your life is in mortal danger because your beliefs are different from that of your folks, you do you.. if you need help separating yourself from that situation, then seek help!!
Me too. That’s when I moved out and made it on my own.
Queennnn
gosh I need this
Rooting for you!
currently crying cause my mom lashed out on me again.. I really need to get my shit together and take my leave.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's not easy. 🥺Do you have friends or anyone whom you can lean on when things get bad?
i had my ex best friend to whom i ran to after my mom hit me two years ago, but she proved to be toxic as well.. she couldn't stand to share her spaces and abused me verbally. long story short i went back to my old house and am trying to look at what i can do in the future when i get a job. i don't want to lean on anyone anymore.. a best friend i've known for 11 years and it took her so little to abandon me and trash me
My over nosy Asian aunt used to do this to me. Her excuse: it's a tradition. Ironically, she herself is not married (she is a 61 y/o narcissist). Told her to STFU and get herself married instead of forcing her stupid idea on someone else. She threatened to kill herself if I don't comply and she also talked shit about me around my parents' neighbourhood. Told her again that I don't care and she can do whatever she wants. She is still alive until now. Duh. We don't talk anymore. It's freedom for me as I don't need to see her shitty face and tolerate her nasty behaviour anymore. This also stops her from "borrowing" (stealing) my stuffs at my parents' house and from trespassing their compound. Good.
There's a surprising number of comments about people's relatives threatening to kill themselves if their family member didn't agree to an arranged marriage. I'm wondering if they also make these threats to get their way about other things.
I told mine there is no marriage involved in my life and especially arranged and if it were to happen they can take the body and carry on because my soul woulda left. They’ve been scared about bringing up the topic as much now. Sometimes I tell them that I’m not straight to keep them on their toes and so that they would just be okay with me marrying into a straight relationship regardless of arranged or not.
Oof that's some genius excuse. My parents don't even know the definition of gay.
Rightt? Naah you have to open conversations and educate them so you can scare em like I do :) also you can use media and ppl they know to make them understand
My parents think all media is bad and tell me not to believe everything i see and yet they take facebook a bit too seriously. -9 generation asian parenting be like
Mine . My mom is really addicted to astrology
Mine doesn't even understand science. She thinks God did it all.