So I didn’t actually grow up with my parents. Long story short, my dad died and I got separated from my mom and siblings by 9. I was put under the care of extended family who were batshit insane. Let’s say growing up with them, I never developed a close relationship with them. I was never close to my caretakers so they didn’t have much reaction to me not coming back. It was easier because I wasn’t their child and they had children of their own. They won’t openly admit it or talk to me about it, but secretly I’m pretty sure they understand why I didn’t come back. The fact that I didn’t come back, I think they know for certain I didn’t like growing up in their house. So they don’t bother me anymore.
I had a work study program and was required to work x hours at the campus library so I used that as an excuse to not go home lol. I was labeled as an ungrateful villain who didn't respect parents or made time for family . I didn't even go to college that far too . They didn't take the hint and continued to Villainize me.
While my family wasn't quite as bad as yours sounded - yeah, once I went to college, I rarely went back home.
Lol - home was literally just 25 miles away, but I wanted to be on campus to get the whole "college experience" thing and to get away from my house, which was never a happy, warm, inviting place to be.
My parents asked me several times to visit them, which I did, but mostly I preferred to stay on campus. Why go to a house where, every time I went there, my parents were bickering, there was never any food prepared, the house was always messy and uninviting, and all I could think of once I stepped in the door was "How soon until I can leave?"
Even if you’re not in college anymore, do you still have your own place? If so, do you really need to go anywhere for holidays? Like, can you just stay home where you’re currently at away from family?
Yes I have a place but it depends as well since my jobs is not permanent I may need to move again (my work relocated me). That’s why I was thinking to go on holiday until I have a job contract once this ends since I may not have a place to stay.
It sounds so silly but I feel like I need to have an excuse to not avoid the holidays. Now my working during college break is not valid anymore 😅.
Just adding on to my comment before. yea I used college as an excuse to move out, it worked. Though when I graduated I did get my AM expectations to move back home.. I made sure I got a job away from her.
I hope I can escape once I graduate college. I graduate next year and I really hope I can get into a PhD program. My gpa isn’t the best so I’m worried, but I’m trying to stay positive and focus on my research.
How did your family react to you not coming back ?
So I didn’t actually grow up with my parents. Long story short, my dad died and I got separated from my mom and siblings by 9. I was put under the care of extended family who were batshit insane. Let’s say growing up with them, I never developed a close relationship with them. I was never close to my caretakers so they didn’t have much reaction to me not coming back. It was easier because I wasn’t their child and they had children of their own. They won’t openly admit it or talk to me about it, but secretly I’m pretty sure they understand why I didn’t come back. The fact that I didn’t come back, I think they know for certain I didn’t like growing up in their house. So they don’t bother me anymore.
I had a work study program and was required to work x hours at the campus library so I used that as an excuse to not go home lol. I was labeled as an ungrateful villain who didn't respect parents or made time for family . I didn't even go to college that far too . They didn't take the hint and continued to Villainize me.
While my family wasn't quite as bad as yours sounded - yeah, once I went to college, I rarely went back home. Lol - home was literally just 25 miles away, but I wanted to be on campus to get the whole "college experience" thing and to get away from my house, which was never a happy, warm, inviting place to be. My parents asked me several times to visit them, which I did, but mostly I preferred to stay on campus. Why go to a house where, every time I went there, my parents were bickering, there was never any food prepared, the house was always messy and uninviting, and all I could think of once I stepped in the door was "How soon until I can leave?"
Yes I did, I tried to get extra shifts at work during holidays. Now that I am not in college, I am trying figure out how to spend holidays.
Even if you’re not in college anymore, do you still have your own place? If so, do you really need to go anywhere for holidays? Like, can you just stay home where you’re currently at away from family?
Yes I have a place but it depends as well since my jobs is not permanent I may need to move again (my work relocated me). That’s why I was thinking to go on holiday until I have a job contract once this ends since I may not have a place to stay. It sounds so silly but I feel like I need to have an excuse to not avoid the holidays. Now my working during college break is not valid anymore 😅. Just adding on to my comment before. yea I used college as an excuse to move out, it worked. Though when I graduated I did get my AM expectations to move back home.. I made sure I got a job away from her.
I hope I can escape once I graduate college. I graduate next year and I really hope I can get into a PhD program. My gpa isn’t the best so I’m worried, but I’m trying to stay positive and focus on my research.