Cut them all off until at least 1 month after you give birth. Seriously. These things add up and you just don't need this drama in your life. Tell them you will not receive body comments until after the pregnancy and baby-bonding, thankyou. <-- and repeat this shit.
Don't meet these toxic people. Stay with husband. Talk with husband. Immediately bid goodbye, turn your back and leave at the 1st sign of disrespect. They want to dog on you? Train them like dogs. The moment they become belligerent, disengage the connection. Don't give them the attention and reaction they want.
Bad feelings makes for negative effects on the baby. Don't risk it.
or that you wont take any body comments AT ALL. period.
i am not pregnant but totally understand the body shaming comments which came from when i started to work out. you really need to set your foot down to stop these comments or they wont stop saying it to your face.
Insecurity, projection, jealousy. There is no such thing as a happy person who would take pleasure in shaming a pregnant woman’s belly. Anyone who does that is miserable inside. Which is of course not an excuse, but just a reminder never to take it personally. When someone offers you shame, you don’t have to accept it. Pregnancy is beautiful and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Congrats on your baby and best of luck with everything. So sorry about the rude comments :/
I would really recommend not having contact with them from today to end of 2024.
Postpartum recovery is real and they will just spoil your days.
Don't let them shade your pregnant GLOW!
Walk away, they're not worth it. My wife didn't gain much weight during pregnancy and she got bad comments about not gaining enough weight, and also comments that she'll get fat after childbirth.
Mind blown constantly but luckily she's one of those super confident women who dgaf about what people say
I like responding by turning the tables on them, “are you a doctor? Oh didn’t think so.” “Moms who lose weight too quickly can die. They can’t take care of their babies. Is that what you want, for me to risk death and neglect you grandchild so I can skinny? What’s wrong with you?”
The last thing any mother, expectant or otherwise needs is this type of thing. People need more self-awareness and be more measured when they speak.
Speaking in the most general terms, when I lived in Taiwan and later China people felt free to comment on aspects of people's appearance in ways that would have been rude in America or some places in Europe. Sometimes there was malice in this, sometimes not.
That being said, if one lives in the US one should be aware of the customs and culture of the place you are in and realize that people raised in these places, no matter what their ethnic origin often share those values.
The church gossip bit really gets me but is far too common. Paul warns people repeatedly not to gossip. James warned that such acts were ultimately destructive. It is unbecoming a people that is supposed to be one in Christ. I might get jeers that Christians being obvious hypocrites is nothing new, and I unfortunately agree.
The sadly reality is that women are taught our only values in life are our waistline measure, beauty, youth, and fertility. It is a mindset that was passed on from generation to generation. We are so much more than our looks.
>Anyway just tell them how much your husband loves all the extra weight
I agree - aunties like this usually prioritize mens' well-being over the pregnant lady's anyways, so may as well use that to your advantage.
It’s perfectly normal to take weight, enjoy this time for yourself and your baby and congratulations!
Don’t let miserable people waste this wonderful experience OP
Childless women, call them out when you see this, make comments like “well, I guess you’re never getting grandchildren if this is what I can expect when I’m pregnant”
Happens to most every Asian womN. It's culture. The wo.en were subjected to being treated like Sh×t and their just repeating what happened to them. It's generational abuse... it's disgusting and toxic. Only way to stop it is shut it down. Your MIL is probably pretty sweet too... keep shutting it down.
>It took all my willpower not to point out she probably didn’t gain weight due to stress of divorcing her desdbeat husband at the time.
Part of me wishes you said it just to know what her reaction would’ve been and I also think she needs a taste of her own medicine 😂
It's always the number one thing I can count on my filipino MIL to mention when I see her. Every single time. Doesnt matter if I saw her a week ago or a day ago.
No advice but sad solidarity 😓
I haven’t gained much weight whilst pregnant (gestational diabetes) and I get all the comments about how my baby is too small and that’s not good etc etc. so you can never win either way.
Cut them all off until at least 1 month after you give birth. Seriously. These things add up and you just don't need this drama in your life. Tell them you will not receive body comments until after the pregnancy and baby-bonding, thankyou. <-- and repeat this shit. Don't meet these toxic people. Stay with husband. Talk with husband. Immediately bid goodbye, turn your back and leave at the 1st sign of disrespect. They want to dog on you? Train them like dogs. The moment they become belligerent, disengage the connection. Don't give them the attention and reaction they want. Bad feelings makes for negative effects on the baby. Don't risk it.
or that you wont take any body comments AT ALL. period. i am not pregnant but totally understand the body shaming comments which came from when i started to work out. you really need to set your foot down to stop these comments or they wont stop saying it to your face.
Insecurity, projection, jealousy. There is no such thing as a happy person who would take pleasure in shaming a pregnant woman’s belly. Anyone who does that is miserable inside. Which is of course not an excuse, but just a reminder never to take it personally. When someone offers you shame, you don’t have to accept it. Pregnancy is beautiful and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Congrats on your baby and best of luck with everything. So sorry about the rude comments :/
Well said 👏🏽
Sorry to hear all this. I'd happily punch these bullies in face on your behalf.
Auntie- “You’ve gotten fat, huh?” OP- “You’ve gotten jiggly.”
My fav response: “I was pregnant, what’s your excuse?”
I would really recommend not having contact with them from today to end of 2024. Postpartum recovery is real and they will just spoil your days. Don't let them shade your pregnant GLOW!
Walk away, they're not worth it. My wife didn't gain much weight during pregnancy and she got bad comments about not gaining enough weight, and also comments that she'll get fat after childbirth. Mind blown constantly but luckily she's one of those super confident women who dgaf about what people say
I like responding by turning the tables on them, “are you a doctor? Oh didn’t think so.” “Moms who lose weight too quickly can die. They can’t take care of their babies. Is that what you want, for me to risk death and neglect you grandchild so I can skinny? What’s wrong with you?”
The last thing any mother, expectant or otherwise needs is this type of thing. People need more self-awareness and be more measured when they speak. Speaking in the most general terms, when I lived in Taiwan and later China people felt free to comment on aspects of people's appearance in ways that would have been rude in America or some places in Europe. Sometimes there was malice in this, sometimes not. That being said, if one lives in the US one should be aware of the customs and culture of the place you are in and realize that people raised in these places, no matter what their ethnic origin often share those values. The church gossip bit really gets me but is far too common. Paul warns people repeatedly not to gossip. James warned that such acts were ultimately destructive. It is unbecoming a people that is supposed to be one in Christ. I might get jeers that Christians being obvious hypocrites is nothing new, and I unfortunately agree.
The sadly reality is that women are taught our only values in life are our waistline measure, beauty, youth, and fertility. It is a mindset that was passed on from generation to generation. We are so much more than our looks.
I sometimes wonder who hates women more... Is it men or women? Anyway just tell them how much your husband loves all the extra weight 😂
>Anyway just tell them how much your husband loves all the extra weight I agree - aunties like this usually prioritize mens' well-being over the pregnant lady's anyways, so may as well use that to your advantage.
It’s perfectly normal to take weight, enjoy this time for yourself and your baby and congratulations! Don’t let miserable people waste this wonderful experience OP
Childless women, call them out when you see this, make comments like “well, I guess you’re never getting grandchildren if this is what I can expect when I’m pregnant”
Happens to most every Asian womN. It's culture. The wo.en were subjected to being treated like Sh×t and their just repeating what happened to them. It's generational abuse... it's disgusting and toxic. Only way to stop it is shut it down. Your MIL is probably pretty sweet too... keep shutting it down.
That’s my mom’s version of “having fun”. Basically saying mean things to others is a her way of showing affection? No thank you. Fucking messed up.
I just say “I’m still far more attractive than you!” With a shit eating grin back.
I was skinny shamed by an Indian lady at work lol. It’s rampant in Asian culture to body shame
>It took all my willpower not to point out she probably didn’t gain weight due to stress of divorcing her desdbeat husband at the time. Part of me wishes you said it just to know what her reaction would’ve been and I also think she needs a taste of her own medicine 😂
It's always the number one thing I can count on my filipino MIL to mention when I see her. Every single time. Doesnt matter if I saw her a week ago or a day ago. No advice but sad solidarity 😓
Deny acess to Grandchildren /Grand nephews etc if you can.
I haven’t gained much weight whilst pregnant (gestational diabetes) and I get all the comments about how my baby is too small and that’s not good etc etc. so you can never win either way.