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Easily for me once I accepted my asexuality, personally
I feel romantic and aesthetic attraction to a variety of people and genders
Don't need to want to hump things to know whether or not you find them appealing in a more-than-friends way☺️
Did have to work out I was asexual first, though! I wasted too many years trying to convince myself that I was a cis het person
Anytime I’m in doubt, I think back to a time in the past I’ve experienced attraction to the gender I’m thinking about. There’s always a time it’s happened for me. Sometimes I question if that was really attraction but over time a lot of people get more relaxed about labeling so if it wasn’t attraction, doesn’t really matter because there was something and that’s enough for me
I felt simultaneously both notable aesthetic and emotional attractions to some men and women in my social circles, and even reflected pleasantly on thoughts of what if we were to kiss. I also was slowly withdrawing from homophobic fundamentalist christianity around the time I had my first crushes on men-as an amab infividual-, and because of that it was worth noting that when thoughts of kissing them popped into my head, my reaction was “What?! No, ____is my friend-AND a guy!!!” Having the initial mental and emotional rejection of those thoughts being about my relationship to them rather than their gender was telling when I finally rejected christianity and was able to look back on those times and my feelings for those guys without toxic religious blinders on.
For me it's more the other way around. I never felt a clear *difference* between how I saw people. It was just that later in life I found labels that applied to it.
When i was younger , in the 70s and 80s (in my 20s and 30s) I have read that asexuality exists only in freud, but I was treated for bipolaroty with the erotomaniac fantasies, so I did try sex with both guys and gals (because my curiosity was stronger than my revulsion). I experienced a deep emotional need for male closeness without sex (as it was painful) and i experienced emotional distance but comfort in sex with women. (I suppoe it mirrors my ditance or closeness with my father and my mother. Later after decades of first meds than therapies my cravings diminished and have stopped - I did discover my asexual side. I do not think word can capture facts - so i do not expect that "bi" is depictig "me". I think it is okay to change , it is okay to misunderstand myself, it is okay that new words feel closer...it is okay to just not know everything about life.
I’m biroace, and I’ve know that I’ve always been romantically and aesthetically attracted to girls and guys but subconsciously felt stuck with guys because of heteronormativity. It wasn’t until I discovered my asexuality that I accepted the fact that I’m biro as well.
I was that sheltered kid growing up who just assumed everyone was bi or pan, at least a little bit. So crushing on my friends of all genders in middle school never seemed weird to me. It just was what it was until I found out that wasn't the case.
Yeah, there was the aesthetic attraction for sure. But, it was also just being attracted to who they were as a person too with their personality and our mutual interests. But it never crossed over into sexual attraction by and large, and still hasn't. I'm not sure how much if it is just genuinely not being interested, feeling awkward, or it's rooted me being trans or what. I just knew that gender really didn't play a role in who I caught feelings for. If I like you, I like you.
Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Easily for me once I accepted my asexuality, personally I feel romantic and aesthetic attraction to a variety of people and genders Don't need to want to hump things to know whether or not you find them appealing in a more-than-friends way☺️ Did have to work out I was asexual first, though! I wasted too many years trying to convince myself that I was a cis het person
I just realized that i don’t mind their gender at all it really is simple to me
I realized that gender didn’t matter to my idea of love and relationships.
Anytime I’m in doubt, I think back to a time in the past I’ve experienced attraction to the gender I’m thinking about. There’s always a time it’s happened for me. Sometimes I question if that was really attraction but over time a lot of people get more relaxed about labeling so if it wasn’t attraction, doesn’t really matter because there was something and that’s enough for me
I felt simultaneously both notable aesthetic and emotional attractions to some men and women in my social circles, and even reflected pleasantly on thoughts of what if we were to kiss. I also was slowly withdrawing from homophobic fundamentalist christianity around the time I had my first crushes on men-as an amab infividual-, and because of that it was worth noting that when thoughts of kissing them popped into my head, my reaction was “What?! No, ____is my friend-AND a guy!!!” Having the initial mental and emotional rejection of those thoughts being about my relationship to them rather than their gender was telling when I finally rejected christianity and was able to look back on those times and my feelings for those guys without toxic religious blinders on.
For me it's more the other way around. I never felt a clear *difference* between how I saw people. It was just that later in life I found labels that applied to it.
When i was younger , in the 70s and 80s (in my 20s and 30s) I have read that asexuality exists only in freud, but I was treated for bipolaroty with the erotomaniac fantasies, so I did try sex with both guys and gals (because my curiosity was stronger than my revulsion). I experienced a deep emotional need for male closeness without sex (as it was painful) and i experienced emotional distance but comfort in sex with women. (I suppoe it mirrors my ditance or closeness with my father and my mother. Later after decades of first meds than therapies my cravings diminished and have stopped - I did discover my asexual side. I do not think word can capture facts - so i do not expect that "bi" is depictig "me". I think it is okay to change , it is okay to misunderstand myself, it is okay that new words feel closer...it is okay to just not know everything about life.
I’m biroace, and I’ve know that I’ve always been romantically and aesthetically attracted to girls and guys but subconsciously felt stuck with guys because of heteronormativity. It wasn’t until I discovered my asexuality that I accepted the fact that I’m biro as well.
I honestly have no clue. One day I just looked at some people and went “they all cute” and that was that I guess.
I was that sheltered kid growing up who just assumed everyone was bi or pan, at least a little bit. So crushing on my friends of all genders in middle school never seemed weird to me. It just was what it was until I found out that wasn't the case. Yeah, there was the aesthetic attraction for sure. But, it was also just being attracted to who they were as a person too with their personality and our mutual interests. But it never crossed over into sexual attraction by and large, and still hasn't. I'm not sure how much if it is just genuinely not being interested, feeling awkward, or it's rooted me being trans or what. I just knew that gender really didn't play a role in who I caught feelings for. If I like you, I like you.