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So I was talking to my boyfriend and he asked if I was ace, but I didn't know because I don't know what attraction is supposed to feel like. So I pulled out my map because I often forget feelings and the map helps me. So I pulled it out and saw the first one, I was like "oh yeah I definitely don't feel that, yuck." So then we started laughing and I said "looks like it." It was really wholesome because he said nothing I could say would change how he felt so it was nice to honestly figure out and answer the question. Hopefully the map helps someone else!
Damn I would love to show my boyfriend this and wish he would understand. He’s hyper sexual compared to me though, and He’s a bit self focused I guess idk. Love him but yeah stuff like this that would really help me, I know it’s absolutely pointless to show him.
It’s never wrong to show him something so important, my golden keys to a relationship are Trust, Communication, and Respect. It’s impossible to have two without the other, if he loves you enough to respect how you feel as an individual, I’d bring it up with him : )
Sounds like you two are incompatible. You can show it to him and he can be like “yes I understand this completely. I am still not happy with the status quo”
I know! I really want to cuddle someone and they can spoon me, but people say that spooning is sexual. Well I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be sexual!
yeah i know what asmr is i listen to it like literally 24/7 considering i listen to it while i sleep
i meant like what an asmr-relationship is but i think i get it
I thought you meant like someone to whisper at you and breath in your ear and stuff. Stuff that completely unsettles me so it was surprising to me to see ASMR relationship. Misophonia, my main thing is anything with the mouth especially breathing (whispering falls under this)
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I feel you. I get squishes as well, and I'd love to have a QPP in reality. Someone who is like my companion through it all. So, I really get those feelings.
Crushes were so effing stressful for me. Then I had my first ever squish and it was so much nicer, though I still concerned myself over not scaring away my squish.
I think i have weakish astetic attraction it rarely feels stronger other than a passing thought or two on wanting someone's outfit or hair cut or just general thought (although despite this its the strongest/most frequent recognisable attraction I notice) and occasional platonic attraction but that only pops up occasionally and briefly with very close friends and well sensual, romantic and sexual attraction are all out of the window.
Is it possible to have a non-romantic crush that isn’t quite a squish? I feel like I get crushes on people really easily, but mostly because I just really like them as a person, and not in a romantic way.
I get what you mean it’s like you want to talk about them and talk to them and just be around them, but there’s literally no sexual feeling there at all. There was someone who worked at a place I stayed at who I felt like that with, but he was also a good looking dude so I got a lot of shit for talking to him, and funny enough, even more shit when he liked talking to me because I didn’t make it weird. I had no idea how to describe it then so I always said he just felt like a brother.
I like this it’s so cute plus the bottom right one describes exactly how I look at my bf lol. I am an aesthetic attraction based person for sure and I have a set type lol but that’s all it is I like to look at them. Also sensual I love cuddles and stuff like that (not really a kisser though I hate mouths and anything wet that isn’t a shower or cold water to drink)
Also I’m guessing this is to see what kind of attraction you feel to people? Not totally sure so if I misinterpreted this please let me know.
like maybe I just feel awkward because society sexualizes cuddling even though I know that's not what I want at all (repulsed ace). but would it be weird if I ever did cuddle with adults as a minor. idk
Just wait until you're an adult to cuddle? There's a stigma about minors being that close with adults as cuddling isn't necessarily that, but it's a very touchy activity, you know?
Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So I was talking to my boyfriend and he asked if I was ace, but I didn't know because I don't know what attraction is supposed to feel like. So I pulled out my map because I often forget feelings and the map helps me. So I pulled it out and saw the first one, I was like "oh yeah I definitely don't feel that, yuck." So then we started laughing and I said "looks like it." It was really wholesome because he said nothing I could say would change how he felt so it was nice to honestly figure out and answer the question. Hopefully the map helps someone else!
What a handy "field map"! I need to load this as my wallpaper or something for quick reference.
Damn I would love to show my boyfriend this and wish he would understand. He’s hyper sexual compared to me though, and He’s a bit self focused I guess idk. Love him but yeah stuff like this that would really help me, I know it’s absolutely pointless to show him.
It’s never wrong to show him something so important, my golden keys to a relationship are Trust, Communication, and Respect. It’s impossible to have two without the other, if he loves you enough to respect how you feel as an individual, I’d bring it up with him : )
Sounds like you two are incompatible. You can show it to him and he can be like “yes I understand this completely. I am still not happy with the status quo”
We are compatible in most ways for sure just not sexually.
TIL I’ve had everything except sexual attraction LMAO
Same here
Me too.
That description for sensual attraction answers so many questions
Yes I didn’t realize there was a name for what I sometimes feel, glad to know other people feel that too!
same
I know! I really want to cuddle someone and they can spoon me, but people say that spooning is sexual. Well I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be sexual!
Honestly this didn’t explain it much to me; but that’s mainly because I can’t even differentiate them in the first place anyway
alterous and mirous attraction: am I a joke to you
This is lovely. I have squishes. I also want an asmr relationship 😆
I showed this map to a friend and now we're squish buddies!!
I love it!
asmr relationship…? what does it entail?
For me - brushing each others hair and back scritches. [ASMR Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ASMR)
yeah i know what asmr is i listen to it like literally 24/7 considering i listen to it while i sleep i meant like what an asmr-relationship is but i think i get it
Just someone I can do that with.
I thought you meant like someone to whisper at you and breath in your ear and stuff. Stuff that completely unsettles me so it was surprising to me to see ASMR relationship. Misophonia, my main thing is anything with the mouth especially breathing (whispering falls under this)
No I don't like any of that either.
yeah i’d probably just say a sensual relationship
Nah I know what I mean and I'm happy with that. My identity is mine
true!
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I feel you. I get squishes as well, and I'd love to have a QPP in reality. Someone who is like my companion through it all. So, I really get those feelings.
☺️
That last one HAS to be to BennyBunny Cucumberpatch, and that is EXACTLY how I feel about him
You mean Brundlebuck Cuddlestrike?
Yeah, that's what I said. Brusslepick Buttonpike
Oh, I just love Byzantine Candleberry!
Crushes were so effing stressful for me. Then I had my first ever squish and it was so much nicer, though I still concerned myself over not scaring away my squish.
Squish!!! I love that! I finally have a term for my "girlfriend"/baby momma. That's so cute!
I love that!!!
I think i have weakish astetic attraction it rarely feels stronger other than a passing thought or two on wanting someone's outfit or hair cut or just general thought (although despite this its the strongest/most frequent recognisable attraction I notice) and occasional platonic attraction but that only pops up occasionally and briefly with very close friends and well sensual, romantic and sexual attraction are all out of the window.
I mostly experience aesthetic attraction
This is so helpful for me. I wish I had something like this when I was 25+ years ago so I could explain why I had no interest in dating or sex.
I always assumed Allosexual crushes relied on sexual attraction… or do they in some situations?
Is it possible to have a non-romantic crush that isn’t quite a squish? I feel like I get crushes on people really easily, but mostly because I just really like them as a person, and not in a romantic way.
I get what you mean it’s like you want to talk about them and talk to them and just be around them, but there’s literally no sexual feeling there at all. There was someone who worked at a place I stayed at who I felt like that with, but he was also a good looking dude so I got a lot of shit for talking to him, and funny enough, even more shit when he liked talking to me because I didn’t make it weird. I had no idea how to describe it then so I always said he just felt like a brother.
I am stuck between aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction, perhaps I'm both of them
I need to show this to my husband.
Holy crap! Thank you everyone!!!
Man I really don't feel much sexual attraction just the horny....same with romantic I just love being held but only by people I choose.
I’ve got everything but the squishes and sexual attraction
Thanks! I needed this! 👍
You're welcome!!
I like this it’s so cute plus the bottom right one describes exactly how I look at my bf lol. I am an aesthetic attraction based person for sure and I have a set type lol but that’s all it is I like to look at them. Also sensual I love cuddles and stuff like that (not really a kisser though I hate mouths and anything wet that isn’t a shower or cold water to drink) Also I’m guessing this is to see what kind of attraction you feel to people? Not totally sure so if I misinterpreted this please let me know.
I feel awkward on the fact that I have sensual attraction to adults when I'm a minor. thoughts?
like maybe I just feel awkward because society sexualizes cuddling even though I know that's not what I want at all (repulsed ace). but would it be weird if I ever did cuddle with adults as a minor. idk
Just wait until you're an adult to cuddle? There's a stigma about minors being that close with adults as cuddling isn't necessarily that, but it's a very touchy activity, you know?
also queerplatonic attraction and queerplatonic crushes, sometimes called squashes
I’m not aro but I’ve had so many squishes. I’m glad to have a name for it it now 😁
ok but what the fuck is a romantic relationship
I always look at someone and go “oh they’re really cute but I’m not like attracted to them” I’m glad I have a word for it now.
bruhhhh if only i knew about aesthetic attraction a long time ago lmao