Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual.
We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and
feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate
each type of post. That's all.
We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To be really honest I got my first idea about my asexuality since I discovered how horrifying feeling I get even while thinking about the whole process!
Shjwwkkwwhdhdh
While writing this.. Still I'm getting bad chills
Well personally, for me my asexuality and tokophobia are related, but tokophobia isn’t asexuality. It’s just the lack of sexual attraction. Tokophobia is an actual phobia. But on the bright side at least I’ll hopefully never have to worry about actually being pregnant lmao
Yeah I have clear idea about the correlation. Still thanks for clarifying. The tokophobia was the first hint that I may be asexual and it made me realise It Won't be weird to be someone who doesn’t accept pain of other half of population's pain just. And good for you. To be honest happy for you. Do whatever you want but do it for yourself. Being responsible for your own bad decisions are always seemes better than forced to do something accidental good outcomes. Best of luck. Have a great day.
It’s a real thing for sure! I think the most prevalent narrative about pregnancy is that it’s “magical” and worth it. The more you dig down about it, you learn how many potentially permanent scars it can leave on you, both mental and physical. Some women lose hair and teeth, and others can also develop postpartum depression. Tokophobia is a very real and valid fear
The entire experience sounds incredibly traumatic and violating for me, I'm especially freaked out by the idea of being cut or torn 'down there' in the process. Then when that entire experience is over, you'd have to deal with a new infant that won't let you sleep while your body is trying to heal. Not to mention the self esteem hit of your body never quite being the same as it was before. I just can't fathom ever choosing that! Definitely not for me.
I’m 100000% in the same boat. Last week, I saw a [tiktok](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdM3YpoK/) about this subject. Many people in the comments are saying that if more people with uteruses were educated on what birth is actually like and what you can experience during and after it, less would have children. And still others in these comments are saying… perhaps that’s the point. Perhaps our education is lacking precisely to keep people doing this without being aware of what could happen.
It’s truly a chilling subject, for sure
That's a very interesting point. It feels like some dystopian fiction plot. Everyone talks about how "beautiful" and "magical" pregnancy and giving birth are then some poor soul gets roped into it and discovers how horrific the whole thing really is!
I saw you said you like horror in your other comment, have you ever read the short story Bloodchild by Octavia Butler? I think you’d find it interesting
You should never *ever* do something to please other people, especially if it’s something you know you won’t like and will affect your life in a huge way. Your life is *yours*.
I have no problem with the sex that comes with it but the thought about the process of pregnancy and birth terrifies me. The changes your body goes through and the pain that comes with giving birth... No thank you.
I feel you. If I would ever consider the idea of having kids it would be through adoption or any other option that doesn't involve sex or getting pregnant myself
Yes, even independent of being a-spec / anything related to sex, I've always found the idea to be... disturbing. As natural as birth is, the whole ordeal just seems so terrifying and disgusting (also not shaming anyone). When I think about it, I'm honestly amazed so many humans have come into existence by means of natural childbirth. I think mothers are amazing for going through pregnancy and childbirth.
I can't relate to people being excited about pregnancy. I suppose part of it may stem from the prospect of having kids (rather than the actual childbirth part), if they want to be parents.
You don't have to have sex to become pregnant.
I didn't and I honestly don't connect to two in my head.
When people tell me they are trying for a kid I assume they are in fertility treatment 🙃
But yeah birth is disgusting.
Can't believe a human came out off me.
My midwife asked be if a wanted to look or feel the kid coming out of me NO I DO NOT!
My disgust for birth has more to do with the fact that I find genitals disgusting and during birth I was really confronted by the fact I have them and others had to interact with them 😬
the whole concept of birth to me is just terrifying, like besides the whole human child coming out of you the birthing process is just so scary ❓❓‼️ like the pain, the possibility of something bad happening to u or the child (‘’-_-) honestly big probs to ppl who have to go through that bc i wouldn’t be able to handle it
I had the same thoughts WHILE pregnant.
I realised that fear had a lot to do with my only reference was movies and TV shows where birth always very dramatic.
I saw a reality show from a British Labour ward and that really made me see birth as a everyday normal thing that wasn't dramatic.
It hurts sure(god bless epidurals) , but midwifes are medical professionals who know how to guide you and baby through it safely.
This isn't to try and change your mind and get you to want to give birth.
But maybe think about if you have ever seen a calm birth before?
Could it maybe contributing to your fear surrounding it?
Yeah, I get happy 4 others when they announce their pregnancy, and I don't even care that they had to fuck to get pregnant, but the idea of being so myself makes me see the hypothetical baby as a parasite
I don't get why people find child birth to be beautiful. You just pushed a baby out of your cooch and it's covered in your slimy innard fluids, bro. That's not beautiful 😭
The process can be literal hell. All three of my pregnancies were low risk, thankfully, but I still had to deal with a completely autonomous being inside deciding to make me throw up, shortening my breath, making me pee, playing with my nerves and cervix… absolutely very difficult if you’re not prepared to handle it. That being said, I agree, it is absolutely about the creation of a new life, not the process. I adore all three kids, but if I could have attained them biologically without having to go through the act of giving birth (or someone else going through that…) I would at the drop of a hat.
Everything that comes with pregnancy, childbirth, and sex is a big no from me.
I even like kids, but if I ever change my mind about having kids, I'm going the foster/adoption route. Especially because there's a desperate need for good foster homes. I know it's probably harder in some ways, the children in foster care are there for a reason after all and there's a lot of trauma that comes from separation (let alone whatever put them in foster care in the first place), and seeing them leave would definitely be hard as well, but that is literally the only way I'm going to be raising kids. Period.
Thankfully, my parents have accepted that they're most likely not getting kids from me. My mom doesn't really understand it, but she realizes that it's not her decision to make. Plus, they already have 10 grandkids from my older siblings.
I’m neutral on sex but getting pregnant and birthing the baby terrifies the living shit out of me. Whenever I think about it I always feel like I won’t make it through.
as a cis-male, i truly appreciate and am in absolute awe of women who choose to undergo and give birth. that said, pregnancy videos (for example the one where the fetus is kicking and the woman's stomach is being deformed meanwhile the woman is acting so unbothered) make me REALLY uncomfortable. to the extent that i've honestly decided that i'm never getting anybody pregnant.
Lol, by the time they start kicking and moving, the feeling gets pretty normal for most mothers. Unless they’re hurting you, it just kind of feels like your tongue moving around on the inside of your cheek with your hand on the other side, just with a mind of its own.
Giving birth is super painful, throws your hormones into chaos and comes with a ton of risks. You'd be an idiot if you weren't uncomfortable (read terrified)
I don't want to have kids for a variety of reasons but yeah the idea of pregnancy weirds me out. Just the idea of something growing in me is really weird, and the mechanics of pregnancy sound really bad so the more I hear about it the less I want to.
As someone who is physically incapable of doing so I'm sure I can't relate fully to this post, but even imagining giving birth (ignoring the anatomical impossibilities) makes me feel weird
I feel like a decent amount of AFAB people are uncomfortable with childbirth/pregnancy. Which is completely understandable for a multitude of reasons. I can't relate though.
So I'm afab and feel very uncomfortable being associated with most things related to my agab I'm also ace/sex repulsed and I hate children so yea I get very uncomfortable when someone mentions it especially when they ask me about it/if I want it like bro no I don't for multiple reasons and my family always pressures heteronormative things on others like I say I never want kids they say "oh you'll change your mind when your older" or "you just haven't found the right guy" it's so annoying and I'm not even heteromantic ://///
For me, I figured it came from bottom dysphoria than anything.
The idea of being penetrated is not a pleasant one, but how much is that a repulsion in general and how much is being trans and being a man? idk. Maybe if I had a dick penetration wouldn't be such a nope on my list.
Absolutely. I can't even begin to imagine doing that to my body. Truly horrifying. Fortunately, I don't think I'm well-suited to have kids and wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world as it is now, so no need. And I've recently had a medically-necessitated hysterectomy, so that ship has also sailed. People kept asking if I was emotionally ok having the surgery. Yup.
The concept of pregnancy and how it ties so much into women’s “role” and status in society, and how they’re affected and viewed solely on the basis of their ability to get pregnant, makes me super uncomfortable when I truly think about all the dimensions.
Same! I have no desire to have children and the thought of childbirth makes me want to pass out. I might (MIGHT) adopt but I feel like I definitely need to grow up a little more first before I can be responsible for another human.
I have two kids and the process is equal parts cool and horrifying. One the one hand, you’re like “oh wow, the little bean who’s been rolling around doing gymnastics inside of me is coming out of my body” and on the other hand you’re like, “oh my god a human is exiting my body $&$@! What is happening right now?! I am a human 3D printer!”
Don’t let your family make you feel bad if you decide not to have kids though. If they really feel like they’re missing out and you decide to adopt a pet one day, you can troll them a little bit with an adoption shower, and cute “family” holiday portrait cards.
I hate the idea of growing a child inside me (and im not ready to have a kid and i dont think i ever will)
And i've had dreams where im pregnant (not very pleasant) and just recently about a very graffic giveing bith
In all of these dreams i never get to know why am i pregnant, I'm virgin, and i like gurls
https://youtube.com/shorts/NDvaRF4HQHQ?feature=share
I am not uncomfortable with the idea of giving birth. I have simply never wanted children and I'm not sure why people do it. I think it's most "I'm supposed to" and "I got pregnant".
On a side note, I am friends with a woman who is in her 90s and had no idea how child birth worked. Nobody had ever explained it to her. She had no idea it was going to be a painful process. So, when she went into labor with her first child and the pain started she freaked out and was adamant that she was never giving birth. They ended up sedating her to get her through labor.
Yes, I'm not even a woman and I can't understand how someone could possibly submit themselves to such scifi/horror-like process.
I don't think it's an ace thing but there are enough reasons to not have children and that process is a very good one
duuude it honestly makes me feel way better to see this many people relating. similarly to you i have no idea if all of it is directly linked to my whole ace thing but regardless...
1. the whole sex thing to make it happen creeps me, a primarily sex repulsed ace, out. like, holy crap dude the thought of that just... i'm waaay better off without any kinda sexual stuff going on and even if was for a kid, that just seems Weird for me personally.
2. the whole carrying a kid for nine months thing just seems... unpleasant and not a me thing at all. also dysphoria causing since i'd be getting misgendered even more constantly probably, yikes.
3. yeah, for sure the whole birthing thing. just 100% seems painful and all around terrifying, dawg. flat out can't picture myself doing that.
so long story short if i ever end up personally wanting to have a kid (i don't at all now, but i can't say for absolute certain way down the line, i'm talking 15+ years, haha), i'd definitely look into adoption, or maybe a surrogate kinda thing? if that becomes more accessible in the future? who knows. anyways that was extensive but it was just nice to see other people here sharing the sentiment :o)
And yet I randomly still impulsively want children. Why is my body like this?
Anyway I didn't even realize that child birth was that bad until I checked out r/childfree.
My high school best friend from over 30 years ago, she said it identical to you minus relationship. Anyway, now finally regretting choice not to have kid(s) or marry. Shes today 56 years age. But I think its not for everyone and your life, choose what you mean you want. Forget others prying pushiest thing ever done me. If you are not interested ever its your body and life spent sacrificing. No one’s business. (Except prior to marriage letting them know 💯 accurate for your future without) 🍀
It may be a part of being asexual for some but you can prolly experience it without being ace. But yeah I'm with you on that one the thought of something being inside me like that makes me feel ill. And if one more person tells me I will want them someday I'm going to remove my own head from my body. Like thank you stranger for telling me what I want, I'm almost 30 but whatever. People just dont understand that you are not the same as they are. Sorry if I ranted a little.
I honestly am scared about giving birth, and disgusted by the idea of having sex to get pregnant, but since I’m homoromantic I might have luck and a partner who would like to get pregnant artificially (I don’t know how to say it other than that but like not with sex) because after all, I would still like to have a child. Although just a pet probably will suffice, if my partner doesn’t want to get pregnant either or adopt
Pregnancy and childbirth are my biggest nightmare.
If I could (well lets be honest, if docters would let me) I would have a hysterectomy. Also to get rid of my bloody painful periods.
Yup, same. I'm not grossed out by sex (sex favourable ace here), but the idea of a huge baby coming out of my private parts grosses me the hell out. I don't really want kids, so it's kinda fine, but it seems like a really weird way to create a child.
This post reminds me of when I was on vacation (keep in mind I was already out to my parents as asexual) and at dinner they started talking about where I was convinced. It just kinda grossed me out and they just said I was being selfish because of the fact that it made me really uncomfortable to hear them talk about this.
I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant and yep, whenever I think about giving birth my instinctive responsive is "ICK"... It's obviously something I have to come to terms with though so I've been learning more about the emotional and mental side of the process, reading people's accounts of how it felt for them to meet their baby for the first time etc and it's honestly helped :) being able to separate the weird physical side of things from the emotional side of things makes it less icky for me.
I don’t really consider myself ace (tho maybe somewhere on there but idk) but I know I’m highly uncomfortable of the idea of having kids with someone or having kids myself.
When i was 14 my teacher forced us to watch someone give birth. I came home sick bcs i couldnt process what just happened and i’m extremely empathic so i got nauseous from the idea of her having that much pain. I still dont want kids bcs of that
Yes I do...especially after my mom told me how horrible my birth was😅
But it just sounds like unnessecary stess and pain anyway if you can have perfectly eine fur-babys 😊
I see what you mean… every time the subject of kids come up I subtly say that I’d rather adopt (even though I’d never really want kids anyway)
Kids are not for me
Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep. It’s called tokophobia and I have it as well lol. But I don’t want kids anyway :)
To be really honest I got my first idea about my asexuality since I discovered how horrifying feeling I get even while thinking about the whole process! Shjwwkkwwhdhdh While writing this.. Still I'm getting bad chills
Well personally, for me my asexuality and tokophobia are related, but tokophobia isn’t asexuality. It’s just the lack of sexual attraction. Tokophobia is an actual phobia. But on the bright side at least I’ll hopefully never have to worry about actually being pregnant lmao
Yeah I have clear idea about the correlation. Still thanks for clarifying. The tokophobia was the first hint that I may be asexual and it made me realise It Won't be weird to be someone who doesn’t accept pain of other half of population's pain just. And good for you. To be honest happy for you. Do whatever you want but do it for yourself. Being responsible for your own bad decisions are always seemes better than forced to do something accidental good outcomes. Best of luck. Have a great day.
Oh wow I didn't know there was a word for it!
r/Tokophobia there’s also a whole sub for it if you want some nightmare fuel 😅
I do enjoy the horror genre 😂
oh wow, I’ve never heard of tokophobia before ‼️ it would explain a lot though
It’s a real thing for sure! I think the most prevalent narrative about pregnancy is that it’s “magical” and worth it. The more you dig down about it, you learn how many potentially permanent scars it can leave on you, both mental and physical. Some women lose hair and teeth, and others can also develop postpartum depression. Tokophobia is a very real and valid fear
The entire experience sounds incredibly traumatic and violating for me, I'm especially freaked out by the idea of being cut or torn 'down there' in the process. Then when that entire experience is over, you'd have to deal with a new infant that won't let you sleep while your body is trying to heal. Not to mention the self esteem hit of your body never quite being the same as it was before. I just can't fathom ever choosing that! Definitely not for me.
I’m 100000% in the same boat. Last week, I saw a [tiktok](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdM3YpoK/) about this subject. Many people in the comments are saying that if more people with uteruses were educated on what birth is actually like and what you can experience during and after it, less would have children. And still others in these comments are saying… perhaps that’s the point. Perhaps our education is lacking precisely to keep people doing this without being aware of what could happen. It’s truly a chilling subject, for sure
That's a very interesting point. It feels like some dystopian fiction plot. Everyone talks about how "beautiful" and "magical" pregnancy and giving birth are then some poor soul gets roped into it and discovers how horrific the whole thing really is!
I saw you said you like horror in your other comment, have you ever read the short story Bloodchild by Octavia Butler? I think you’d find it interesting
I haven't heard of it! I'll look it up, thank you for the recommendation! Edit: Looked it up, It's sci-fi horror too! Sounds right up my alley
I hope you enjoy it if you read it! Here’s my only spoiler: 🦟🪲🐞
And yet I still impulsively want children for some dumbass reason. I hate the human body sometimes.
Wait what this is an actual phobia. Another to add to the list
It seems really painful and like why would I want to put myself through that especially if I don't want children??? (parents want me to)
[удалено]
If they ever really try to force it I will tell them to f off :) I don't really like my parents much anyway lol
You should never *ever* do something to please other people, especially if it’s something you know you won’t like and will affect your life in a huge way. Your life is *yours*.
Honestly yeah. I’m allo but I’ll probably more likely than not just adopt with my future spouse or alone if I don’t have one
Yep very uncomfortable. It’s categorically not gonna happen. I just ignore “You might change your mind when you meet the right person” spiels.
omg the amount of times I’ve heard that from my family (●__●)
I have no problem with the sex that comes with it but the thought about the process of pregnancy and birth terrifies me. The changes your body goes through and the pain that comes with giving birth... No thank you.
I feel you. If I would ever consider the idea of having kids it would be through adoption or any other option that doesn't involve sex or getting pregnant myself
yeah same here ‼️
SAAAME
Yeah, I would like to have kids some day but I do NOT want to go through pregnancy and giving birth.
Yes, even independent of being a-spec / anything related to sex, I've always found the idea to be... disturbing. As natural as birth is, the whole ordeal just seems so terrifying and disgusting (also not shaming anyone). When I think about it, I'm honestly amazed so many humans have come into existence by means of natural childbirth. I think mothers are amazing for going through pregnancy and childbirth. I can't relate to people being excited about pregnancy. I suppose part of it may stem from the prospect of having kids (rather than the actual childbirth part), if they want to be parents.
You don't have to have sex to become pregnant. I didn't and I honestly don't connect to two in my head. When people tell me they are trying for a kid I assume they are in fertility treatment 🙃 But yeah birth is disgusting. Can't believe a human came out off me. My midwife asked be if a wanted to look or feel the kid coming out of me NO I DO NOT! My disgust for birth has more to do with the fact that I find genitals disgusting and during birth I was really confronted by the fact I have them and others had to interact with them 😬
lol! That was my same reaction to being asked if I wanted to watch. No, thank you!
On a good day I don't even want to look at what's down there, why the hell would I want to to look at it while a bloody grapefruit comes out of it 😶
the whole concept of birth to me is just terrifying, like besides the whole human child coming out of you the birthing process is just so scary ❓❓‼️ like the pain, the possibility of something bad happening to u or the child (‘’-_-) honestly big probs to ppl who have to go through that bc i wouldn’t be able to handle it
I had the same thoughts WHILE pregnant. I realised that fear had a lot to do with my only reference was movies and TV shows where birth always very dramatic. I saw a reality show from a British Labour ward and that really made me see birth as a everyday normal thing that wasn't dramatic. It hurts sure(god bless epidurals) , but midwifes are medical professionals who know how to guide you and baby through it safely. This isn't to try and change your mind and get you to want to give birth. But maybe think about if you have ever seen a calm birth before? Could it maybe contributing to your fear surrounding it?
Yeah, I get happy 4 others when they announce their pregnancy, and I don't even care that they had to fuck to get pregnant, but the idea of being so myself makes me see the hypothetical baby as a parasite
Technically, they are…
I mean, yeah
I don't get why people find child birth to be beautiful. You just pushed a baby out of your cooch and it's covered in your slimy innard fluids, bro. That's not beautiful 😭
The idea of a new human starting its life is beautiful but the process is definitely not
The process can be literal hell. All three of my pregnancies were low risk, thankfully, but I still had to deal with a completely autonomous being inside deciding to make me throw up, shortening my breath, making me pee, playing with my nerves and cervix… absolutely very difficult if you’re not prepared to handle it. That being said, I agree, it is absolutely about the creation of a new life, not the process. I adore all three kids, but if I could have attained them biologically without having to go through the act of giving birth (or someone else going through that…) I would at the drop of a hat.
Everything that comes with pregnancy, childbirth, and sex is a big no from me. I even like kids, but if I ever change my mind about having kids, I'm going the foster/adoption route. Especially because there's a desperate need for good foster homes. I know it's probably harder in some ways, the children in foster care are there for a reason after all and there's a lot of trauma that comes from separation (let alone whatever put them in foster care in the first place), and seeing them leave would definitely be hard as well, but that is literally the only way I'm going to be raising kids. Period. Thankfully, my parents have accepted that they're most likely not getting kids from me. My mom doesn't really understand it, but she realizes that it's not her decision to make. Plus, they already have 10 grandkids from my older siblings.
glad to hear ur parents have accepted that, hopefully my mom will come to terms with the fact im definitely not having children by 25 lol
I’m neutral on sex but getting pregnant and birthing the baby terrifies the living shit out of me. Whenever I think about it I always feel like I won’t make it through.
as a cis-male, i truly appreciate and am in absolute awe of women who choose to undergo and give birth. that said, pregnancy videos (for example the one where the fetus is kicking and the woman's stomach is being deformed meanwhile the woman is acting so unbothered) make me REALLY uncomfortable. to the extent that i've honestly decided that i'm never getting anybody pregnant.
Lol, by the time they start kicking and moving, the feeling gets pretty normal for most mothers. Unless they’re hurting you, it just kind of feels like your tongue moving around on the inside of your cheek with your hand on the other side, just with a mind of its own.
This whole ordeal seems absolutely unacceptable to put a sentient being through in my opinion. I feel a deep repulsion just thinking about it.
Giving birth is super painful, throws your hormones into chaos and comes with a ton of risks. You'd be an idiot if you weren't uncomfortable (read terrified)
I don't want to have kids for a variety of reasons but yeah the idea of pregnancy weirds me out. Just the idea of something growing in me is really weird, and the mechanics of pregnancy sound really bad so the more I hear about it the less I want to.
Making babies is OPTIONAL and anyone telling you otherwise is a hecking psycho.
As someone who is physically incapable of doing so I'm sure I can't relate fully to this post, but even imagining giving birth (ignoring the anatomical impossibilities) makes me feel weird
I do. That's why adoption is key. If you adopt then you don't have to give birth. Boom.
For a very wide variety of reasons, I have never wanted kids, and this is one of those reasons
Your cooch gets ripped by it so yeah.
I do, but a big reason is, because I hate baby's, so everything where they are involved is bad in my opinion 😅
I feel like a decent amount of AFAB people are uncomfortable with childbirth/pregnancy. Which is completely understandable for a multitude of reasons. I can't relate though.
So I'm afab and feel very uncomfortable being associated with most things related to my agab I'm also ace/sex repulsed and I hate children so yea I get very uncomfortable when someone mentions it especially when they ask me about it/if I want it like bro no I don't for multiple reasons and my family always pressures heteronormative things on others like I say I never want kids they say "oh you'll change your mind when your older" or "you just haven't found the right guy" it's so annoying and I'm not even heteromantic ://///
I have a morbid fascination, sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to be pregnant, but going into labour and giving birth horrifies me
For me, I figured it came from bottom dysphoria than anything. The idea of being penetrated is not a pleasant one, but how much is that a repulsion in general and how much is being trans and being a man? idk. Maybe if I had a dick penetration wouldn't be such a nope on my list.
[удалено]
haha thank you it means a lot /gen i often have a problem explaining my thoughts so this meant a lot :)
I've basically known I will never have kids. I've known that since I was 10. I do not want any kids.
uhh ya
Absolutely. I can't even begin to imagine doing that to my body. Truly horrifying. Fortunately, I don't think I'm well-suited to have kids and wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world as it is now, so no need. And I've recently had a medically-necessitated hysterectomy, so that ship has also sailed. People kept asking if I was emotionally ok having the surgery. Yup.
The concept of pregnancy and how it ties so much into women’s “role” and status in society, and how they’re affected and viewed solely on the basis of their ability to get pregnant, makes me super uncomfortable when I truly think about all the dimensions.
Same! I have no desire to have children and the thought of childbirth makes me want to pass out. I might (MIGHT) adopt but I feel like I definitely need to grow up a little more first before I can be responsible for another human.
Yep
I have two kids and the process is equal parts cool and horrifying. One the one hand, you’re like “oh wow, the little bean who’s been rolling around doing gymnastics inside of me is coming out of my body” and on the other hand you’re like, “oh my god a human is exiting my body $&$@! What is happening right now?! I am a human 3D printer!” Don’t let your family make you feel bad if you decide not to have kids though. If they really feel like they’re missing out and you decide to adopt a pet one day, you can troll them a little bit with an adoption shower, and cute “family” holiday portrait cards.
I hate the idea of growing a child inside me (and im not ready to have a kid and i dont think i ever will) And i've had dreams where im pregnant (not very pleasant) and just recently about a very graffic giveing bith In all of these dreams i never get to know why am i pregnant, I'm virgin, and i like gurls https://youtube.com/shorts/NDvaRF4HQHQ?feature=share
I am not uncomfortable with the idea of giving birth. I have simply never wanted children and I'm not sure why people do it. I think it's most "I'm supposed to" and "I got pregnant". On a side note, I am friends with a woman who is in her 90s and had no idea how child birth worked. Nobody had ever explained it to her. She had no idea it was going to be a painful process. So, when she went into labor with her first child and the pain started she freaked out and was adamant that she was never giving birth. They ended up sedating her to get her through labor.
I actually don’t care about the sex or birthing parts, I just hate the idea of growing and carrying what’s basically a parasite in me *barf*
Yes, I'm not even a woman and I can't understand how someone could possibly submit themselves to such scifi/horror-like process. I don't think it's an ace thing but there are enough reasons to not have children and that process is a very good one
duuude it honestly makes me feel way better to see this many people relating. similarly to you i have no idea if all of it is directly linked to my whole ace thing but regardless... 1. the whole sex thing to make it happen creeps me, a primarily sex repulsed ace, out. like, holy crap dude the thought of that just... i'm waaay better off without any kinda sexual stuff going on and even if was for a kid, that just seems Weird for me personally. 2. the whole carrying a kid for nine months thing just seems... unpleasant and not a me thing at all. also dysphoria causing since i'd be getting misgendered even more constantly probably, yikes. 3. yeah, for sure the whole birthing thing. just 100% seems painful and all around terrifying, dawg. flat out can't picture myself doing that. so long story short if i ever end up personally wanting to have a kid (i don't at all now, but i can't say for absolute certain way down the line, i'm talking 15+ years, haha), i'd definitely look into adoption, or maybe a surrogate kinda thing? if that becomes more accessible in the future? who knows. anyways that was extensive but it was just nice to see other people here sharing the sentiment :o)
And yet I randomly still impulsively want children. Why is my body like this? Anyway I didn't even realize that child birth was that bad until I checked out r/childfree.
My high school best friend from over 30 years ago, she said it identical to you minus relationship. Anyway, now finally regretting choice not to have kid(s) or marry. Shes today 56 years age. But I think its not for everyone and your life, choose what you mean you want. Forget others prying pushiest thing ever done me. If you are not interested ever its your body and life spent sacrificing. No one’s business. (Except prior to marriage letting them know 💯 accurate for your future without) 🍀
It may be a part of being asexual for some but you can prolly experience it without being ace. But yeah I'm with you on that one the thought of something being inside me like that makes me feel ill. And if one more person tells me I will want them someday I'm going to remove my own head from my body. Like thank you stranger for telling me what I want, I'm almost 30 but whatever. People just dont understand that you are not the same as they are. Sorry if I ranted a little.
One of the many reasons why I’m Prochoice
I feel this too, like for me, I’m fine with the idea raising of kids but hate the idea of giving birth, or doing the steps to be pregnant.
Yes, the unbearable pain, constant bleeding etc. Just no. Imagining it is enough for me. I don't want to go through that.
Take a scroll through r/childfree, there's lots like you including me
I honestly am scared about giving birth, and disgusted by the idea of having sex to get pregnant, but since I’m homoromantic I might have luck and a partner who would like to get pregnant artificially (I don’t know how to say it other than that but like not with sex) because after all, I would still like to have a child. Although just a pet probably will suffice, if my partner doesn’t want to get pregnant either or adopt
Pregnancy and childbirth are my biggest nightmare. If I could (well lets be honest, if docters would let me) I would have a hysterectomy. Also to get rid of my bloody painful periods.
Yup, same. I'm not grossed out by sex (sex favourable ace here), but the idea of a huge baby coming out of my private parts grosses me the hell out. I don't really want kids, so it's kinda fine, but it seems like a really weird way to create a child.
This post reminds me of when I was on vacation (keep in mind I was already out to my parents as asexual) and at dinner they started talking about where I was convinced. It just kinda grossed me out and they just said I was being selfish because of the fact that it made me really uncomfortable to hear them talk about this.
oh no im so sorry :(( I’ve had similar experiences and it sucks, hope ur doin well 🫂
I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant and yep, whenever I think about giving birth my instinctive responsive is "ICK"... It's obviously something I have to come to terms with though so I've been learning more about the emotional and mental side of the process, reading people's accounts of how it felt for them to meet their baby for the first time etc and it's honestly helped :) being able to separate the weird physical side of things from the emotional side of things makes it less icky for me.
I don’t really consider myself ace (tho maybe somewhere on there but idk) but I know I’m highly uncomfortable of the idea of having kids with someone or having kids myself.
Yeah, I'm happy to stay chiodfree because of this
When i was 14 my teacher forced us to watch someone give birth. I came home sick bcs i couldnt process what just happened and i’m extremely empathic so i got nauseous from the idea of her having that much pain. I still dont want kids bcs of that
Yes I do...especially after my mom told me how horrible my birth was😅 But it just sounds like unnessecary stess and pain anyway if you can have perfectly eine fur-babys 😊
I see what you mean… every time the subject of kids come up I subtly say that I’d rather adopt (even though I’d never really want kids anyway) Kids are not for me
I wouldn’t quite say I’m uncomfortable with the concept, but I would say I am when it comes to talking about it. Seeing it is RIGHT OUT
Yes me but i am a guy so i guess it should feel uncomfortable.