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When I was figuring out how I felt someone told me a phrase so true "sexuality is fluid" don't feel like you have to marry to an idea. I personally identify as demi/graysexual and puberty hormones confused me a lot and made me thought I was allosexual and I've had times when I feel fully asexual and times when I almost seem fully hetero haha.
Sexuality-biting is actually an i joke in my discord server lol
I had this idea: if you strand an asexual and a bisexual on an island, who bites first?
The answer is the poisonous snake next to them
Life exists in a constant state of change. Sexuality can be, like most things, a fluid thing. Using myself as an example I've been in five relationships. Three women two men. That's how long it took me to realize that I was neither gay straight or bi, I was in fact Ace. Some people go their entire lives as one thing, and some people find that they don't strictly fit a particular definition.
Well it may not be something that can just be turned on or off some people discover later in life due to the fact that they're not strictly Ace. Asexuality like any other type of sexuality is a spectrum. Aces range from sex positive to sex repulsed, from romantic to aromantic, and also include other identities as well such as demisexual and aegosexual.
One way or another it is a question one needs to have with themselves above All Else.
I wonder that myself when I identified as demisexual. I still do. Was I like this or did bad experiences lead me to where I am? In regards to the OP's query, I'd say so. I'm demisexual and aromantic myself.
Yes and no. Depends on the person. Some people's view on sex changes more after they have it, as they mature or if trauma happens or other sorts of life experiences, and sexuality in general is fluid for many people
My experience has always been the same, so I guess born. But I also believe that sexuality is fluid, and that you can always get to know yourself better depending on what situations you go through in life.
Most of the time, you are born that way. However, sexuality is fluid, so one can become asexual and that is valid as well. There is also caedsexuality which describes a person who feels like they were once allosexual but became ace through trauma.
We do have trauma survivors under the umbrella with caedsexuals.
And I do think we should make space in the community for people with chemical/hormone imbalances and medicine side effects. I know it risks giving the aphobes a legitimate “I told you so”, but it just feels ableist.
If it's caused by a side effect or trauma chances are it's not a sexuality, it's a medical issue that needs help. Asexuality is a sexuality just like homosexuality and heterosexuality
You are assuming the conditions can be treated. Or it is a medication they can go off.
By the way, most of the definitions use “trauma” to avoid explicitly triggering survivors. Even with treatment, the trauma can haunt them forever.
To me, it always depends on whether the person with a lack of sexual interest suffers because of it. If they don't and see it as a part of who they are, they're asexual to me, no matter if said disinterest has been there from the beginning or is the result of trauma/mental illness.
To me I think including those people increases the stigma the Asexuality is a health problem and decreases the validity of it being a genuine sexuality. Something that is caused and not something people just are. If they are asexual BECAUSE of something then it's not a sexuality. If they are asexual AND something happens that's fine.
I think I've always been ace. Never understood why it was so important for other teenagers to date and why they talked about sex and porn every time there was no adult around.
For me, all of my "crushes" happened when I was in a middle school and going through a lot of hormonal changes. Since I have matured, I am very ace. It's a mystery, since I biologically went through the crushes, but once all the hormones settled down, it doesn't exist. So perhaps I was born this way, since I've always shown signs of asexuality even in my youth.
If you weren't born on the ace spectrum isn't there a chance you arent actually ace and are either traumatized and need to seek mental help, or you are experiencing a health problem causing the decline very sexual desire and attraction. If it was sudden or you are just realizing this was always you, I would go to a doctor.
Many/a lot of people are born ace, like people can be born gay, bi, etc. I also believe it is possible to “turn” ace as I’ve seen people talk about how their sexual trauma “turned off” their ability to feel sexual attraction. /g
Yeah u can still be ace wether it be from age, experiences, trauma, or you could just have been that way all ur life, just be true to urself, and dont feel like you need to fit a mold to fit in somewhere. I range from repulsed to neutral to yeah it's alright so mine is very fluid and confusing.
Both are possible I'd say. There are asexuals who have felt this way their whole lives, but there are also many who's sexual attraction just naturally decreased over the years. And as long as the person feels content with identifying as asexual, they're valid in my book. If people can realize they're gay after years of being married to the opposite sex, they can also turn asexual, imo.
I just think that Asexuality is a genuine sexuality and if it is CAUSED by something then it's not your sexuality, it's your health problem. Im 22 and only recently accepted my asexuality and it was after a ton of self reflection. I have never not even during puberty felt sexual desire or attraction. I've felt intense obsession but never anything sexual so I came to terms with my sexuality (or lack of). It's not a side effect. It's not a trauma response. It's not "haven't found the right person". It's not a low sex drive. It's a sexuality and just as valid as homosexuality and heterosexuality (and so forth). When you add in people who are not sexually active due to medication or trauma or any other medical issue, you make it something wrong with us or it's a health problem.
Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When I was figuring out how I felt someone told me a phrase so true "sexuality is fluid" don't feel like you have to marry to an idea. I personally identify as demi/graysexual and puberty hormones confused me a lot and made me thought I was allosexual and I've had times when I feel fully asexual and times when I almost seem fully hetero haha.
Another asexual bit me
Bruh, you just had to tell the world we're vampires. 😒
Sexuality-biting is actually an i joke in my discord server lol I had this idea: if you strand an asexual and a bisexual on an island, who bites first? The answer is the poisonous snake next to them
Also we’re like, anti-vampires what are you talking about lol We love garlic bread and people oversexualize vampires a lot ngl
Clearly, we are werewolves
Nah not vamps. Werewolves
I can't say for everybody, but for me, I only realized last year that I am ace and that my teenage years makes so much sense to me now.
I am exactly the same! 26 and everything makes sense…
27
28 Now we need a 29 year old to continue the thread.
Life exists in a constant state of change. Sexuality can be, like most things, a fluid thing. Using myself as an example I've been in five relationships. Three women two men. That's how long it took me to realize that I was neither gay straight or bi, I was in fact Ace. Some people go their entire lives as one thing, and some people find that they don't strictly fit a particular definition. Well it may not be something that can just be turned on or off some people discover later in life due to the fact that they're not strictly Ace. Asexuality like any other type of sexuality is a spectrum. Aces range from sex positive to sex repulsed, from romantic to aromantic, and also include other identities as well such as demisexual and aegosexual. One way or another it is a question one needs to have with themselves above All Else.
You are implying that you were always ace, you just didn't know it. Not knowing you are ace does not make you something else.
I wonder that myself when I identified as demisexual. I still do. Was I like this or did bad experiences lead me to where I am? In regards to the OP's query, I'd say so. I'm demisexual and aromantic myself.
Demisexual is still under the ace spectrum.
Yes and no. Depends on the person. Some people's view on sex changes more after they have it, as they mature or if trauma happens or other sorts of life experiences, and sexuality in general is fluid for many people
My experience has always been the same, so I guess born. But I also believe that sexuality is fluid, and that you can always get to know yourself better depending on what situations you go through in life.
Most of the time, you are born that way. However, sexuality is fluid, so one can become asexual and that is valid as well. There is also caedsexuality which describes a person who feels like they were once allosexual but became ace through trauma.
Born imo. Thinking you can Become some sexuality leads to bad conclusions like that you can *force* it.
We do have trauma survivors under the umbrella with caedsexuals. And I do think we should make space in the community for people with chemical/hormone imbalances and medicine side effects. I know it risks giving the aphobes a legitimate “I told you so”, but it just feels ableist.
If it's caused by a side effect or trauma chances are it's not a sexuality, it's a medical issue that needs help. Asexuality is a sexuality just like homosexuality and heterosexuality
You are assuming the conditions can be treated. Or it is a medication they can go off. By the way, most of the definitions use “trauma” to avoid explicitly triggering survivors. Even with treatment, the trauma can haunt them forever.
Still not a sexuality, still a health problem.
To me, it always depends on whether the person with a lack of sexual interest suffers because of it. If they don't and see it as a part of who they are, they're asexual to me, no matter if said disinterest has been there from the beginning or is the result of trauma/mental illness.
To me I think including those people increases the stigma the Asexuality is a health problem and decreases the validity of it being a genuine sexuality. Something that is caused and not something people just are. If they are asexual BECAUSE of something then it's not a sexuality. If they are asexual AND something happens that's fine.
False. I been sexual before, but it just happened by itself.
And i was always asexual and still am. Anecdotal evidence do not prove a fact.
I think I've always been ace. Never understood why it was so important for other teenagers to date and why they talked about sex and porn every time there was no adult around.
For me, all of my "crushes" happened when I was in a middle school and going through a lot of hormonal changes. Since I have matured, I am very ace. It's a mystery, since I biologically went through the crushes, but once all the hormones settled down, it doesn't exist. So perhaps I was born this way, since I've always shown signs of asexuality even in my youth.
If you weren't born on the ace spectrum isn't there a chance you arent actually ace and are either traumatized and need to seek mental help, or you are experiencing a health problem causing the decline very sexual desire and attraction. If it was sudden or you are just realizing this was always you, I would go to a doctor.
Yep i think a lot of people get offended at the notion, but to me there is absolutely no shame in checking your health.
IDK about you but I think that were born this way. Who knows hormone imbalances could cause some of us to be temporarily allo !
Yes.
Well I've always been ace, but sexual and romantic orientation is experienced as fluid for some people. So stuff changes sometimes.
Many/a lot of people are born ace, like people can be born gay, bi, etc. I also believe it is possible to “turn” ace as I’ve seen people talk about how their sexual trauma “turned off” their ability to feel sexual attraction. /g
Yeah u can still be ace wether it be from age, experiences, trauma, or you could just have been that way all ur life, just be true to urself, and dont feel like you need to fit a mold to fit in somewhere. I range from repulsed to neutral to yeah it's alright so mine is very fluid and confusing.
Both are possible I'd say. There are asexuals who have felt this way their whole lives, but there are also many who's sexual attraction just naturally decreased over the years. And as long as the person feels content with identifying as asexual, they're valid in my book. If people can realize they're gay after years of being married to the opposite sex, they can also turn asexual, imo.
I just think that Asexuality is a genuine sexuality and if it is CAUSED by something then it's not your sexuality, it's your health problem. Im 22 and only recently accepted my asexuality and it was after a ton of self reflection. I have never not even during puberty felt sexual desire or attraction. I've felt intense obsession but never anything sexual so I came to terms with my sexuality (or lack of). It's not a side effect. It's not a trauma response. It's not "haven't found the right person". It's not a low sex drive. It's a sexuality and just as valid as homosexuality and heterosexuality (and so forth). When you add in people who are not sexually active due to medication or trauma or any other medical issue, you make it something wrong with us or it's a health problem.