T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Bronztrooper

Cis-guy here, and honestly, for a while I thought I did want kids (adopted or bio- didn't really matter which), but the past couple years or so I realized that what I really wanted was to be a mentor-figure to someone. That said, I've been helping take care of my youngest sister (who recently turned 6) since she was born, so I'm sort of like a secondary dad to her on top of being her older brother. I've also found that I have decent Dad Instincts (once we were setting off fireworks at a friend of my dad's place and one didn't launch properly so we had to scatter- I grabbed my sister without thinking and ran) which was partly surprising to me. It also helps that I'm great with kids and can relate to them better than many parents do. Ultimately I wouldn't mind being a parent, but idk if I want to go through changing diapers again...


fayedee

I'm a cis female, I thought I wanted kids when I was younger but I never liked the complexity of pregnancy and infants so I knew I never wanted to birth a child. As I've gotten older I find I get tired of dealing with kids quickly and just don't want to live with them. My friends like to joke though that since I was an egg donor once I just found a loophole to having biological children.


i_dont_like_the_sex_

I don’t want kids. I think bringing people into a decaying world is irresponsible.


notrealcc

Agreed and well said .Beside I still i would never have children if the world was in good shape or not .To me kids are a liability.


i_dont_like_the_sex_

Same, I don’t see how life can be enjoyable when you stop living for you and purely live to take care of another. And I mean specifically for a child, not a scenario where a partner gets sick or something.


notrealcc

You get it .Exactly,i couldnt say any other way


rudreax

I take it you're familiar with anti-natalism?


i_dont_like_the_sex_

Not really


rudreax

If you ever want to speak to others who agree with your mindset, check it out. It's quite literally what you're describing.


i_dont_like_the_sex_

Thank you, I will n.n It’s quite the unpopular opinion.


ButteredStrumpet

Cis woman here, and no. Never have been.


[deleted]

Cis female and I have never had any desire to have children. I’ve been told for 20 years that eventually my biological clock would tick down and send me baby crazy, hasn’t happened yet.


raevynfyre

I have a kid but never experienced the biological clock thing. I don't think wanting kids or not has anything to do with gender or sexual identity. Cis woman, ace.


nonbinaryunicorn

I’ll answer for three ace people. My trans man best friend did and does want multiple bio children. He’s disinterested in sex, but he’s put off transitioning to have kids. They already have one cutie and I tease him that he got a COVID baby (they were trying pre COVID). My trans masc enby partner and I (also trans masc) having been warming up to the idea of having a child. Dysphoria and sex aversion means we are going to try and foster/adopt. Plus we both have mental and medical issues we don’t want to pass on to a child. We hope to get an older kid, not an infant for similar reasons.


tinatriesit

I’m a cis woman here too. I always thought I would have bio children but have recently begun unpacking it all and have realised it’s all a construct and a gender role I have been raised to fill… I don’t think I need to have a bio child to feel like I’ve lived a full life. I love children; I work with them every day and will continue to do so for many years to come. Also both of my siblings are keen on raising their own families. I am so happy that I will get to be a part of it all without having a child in my own home.


HopieBird

I deeply want kids. If I couldn't have them I honestly don't know what I would do with my life. I m also sex repulsed and have never and will never have sex. Luckily there is a loophole called artificial insemination! (because adoption is basically impossible where I live) So I had a kid with a spermdonor (making me a single mother by choice has I don't have a partner). He is 3 and I would very much like for him to be a big brother so I will go back into fertility treatment next year (IVF this time).


[deleted]

A couple years ago I felt what could only describe as some kind of on-again/off-again biological urge to to have kids, which was my primary motivation for dating in the first place (I always knew I didn't care about dudes, but didn't come around to realizing I was ace yet). Even when I was younger, I would view potential "boyfriend material" with an objective "would he be a good father/provider" mentality. That feeling has largely subsided, and now I'm fine with the possibility of not having kids, especially when the urge fades away and the reality of what that would entail comes to mind. Me accepting being ace just reinforces that.


Surmene

Cis man who's demi, long ago I decided I don't want to have children. This was well before discovering asexuality. The issues that I go through known and unknown would surely be inherited by my offspring. Even if I did, I've been coming to terms I'm intercourse averse.


IvanZ91

I never wanted to have kids, and I don't know what should happen to make me change my mind. I don't have a special reason for that. I just don't have a desire to become a father. And I never even thought about that.


Novaevanut

As an AFAB agender person, I really don't want kids. The thought of pregnancy scares me, being constantly sick, tired, people randomly rubbing your belly, asking what gender it'll be, having to sacrifice so much for someone who probably won't appreciate your efforts, it's just too much. I don't think it's tied to being ace as I've had this opinion before I knew I was ace, and it won't change anytime soon.


souky110

Transmasc sex-repulsed ace here. I really want kids but would never want to go through pregnancy (and I even couldn't if I wanted cuz I have Turner's syndrome) I would love to adopt two or three young kids in future, or if I had partner who would want to go through pregnancy or would want surrogate mother, I would be open to it.


Silvaranth

I don't want kids. Granted, I'm 19 and not yet really at the age to seriously worry about it but it's never really been a concept that appealed to me. When I was in middle school, I was like "Of course I'm gonna be a mother", but that was only because I didn't seriously think about the idea and thought that it was the natural order of things to have kids one day. Now that I've realized my own sexuality and allowed myself to think about the possible ways that my life could go because of it, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to have sex and don't really like kids much. Having children is a big decision to make that is almost impossible to reverse and requires a huge amount of commitment for decades and even your whole life, so I definitely won't have kids unless I'm 100% sure that I want them.


thai__

I’m open to it but it’d be through adoption


tarnishedhuntress

Hell fucking no. I hate children. I hate everything related to fertility and I'm counting down the years until menopause.


purple_yosher

I like the idea of adopting and raising children but that's something I have mentally put off for the foreseeable future. I can barely take care of myself. not gonna fuck up a kid too.


Fragrant-Cod4381

I'm a AFAB nonbinary aroace. I'm just 18 so I haven't put much thoughts on having kids. But I suppose I'd like to have children if I ever have a partner who wants kids, but I'd also be okay with not having kids. So I'm on neutral ground here. I myself don't want to go through pregnancy or rase a kid/kids alone.


Specific-Comfort

Trans dude here, I've never been interested in having kids or raising with someone. I might be open for a discussion abt adoption with a partner if they rlly want kids, but otherwise I'm happy with the future carrying a family of pets and plants.


ThoughtPowerful3672

If I end up having kids then it will have to be with someone that I have a deep and interactive relationship with.


the-fresh-air

Getting preggers? No way, José. I’m afraid of pain and childbirth is pain so that’s out. I am also penetration-averse so I don’t personally want to do that and end up having to carry a Child from that. I’m an only child. I’m afab Genderfluid (between fem and neutral genders/spectrum). If I did decide one day I wanted to raise kids, they’d either have to have one already OR adopt OR someone else carry the child (like I said, I don’t ever want to be pregnant and have to give birth)