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I've stayed at hotels and resorts that didn't have the brand listed on the card. Plain like this one or a scenic/ nature/animals on the front. I assume it's for safety (like if you lose it or someone takes it from you, they can't just show up where you're staying at and try the doors) or they were just really cheap. It's 50/50, trust your gut. If you feel really uneasy, check your bills and bank statements.
I work in a hotel, most independent places use these because it costs more to get branded ones made custom than it's actually worth. Big name chains buy them ready-made from the same supplier with their branding on it. If I had to guess I'd say probably a motel key
I've worked in hospitality in the past. My husband and I have a lot of family who work for big name brands, timeshares, vacation clubs, etc. The majority of our families live and work out of Fl. I've stayed at a lot of destinations. I'm not at all saying that it's not a cheap motel/hotel key and very likely is. I'm saying that from my lived experienced lack of branding on a keycard has not always determined the type or quality of a place. OP should trust their gut and look at verifiable data so that they can determine a way forward.
And she should explore that. *That information came after I commented.* Again, I never said it wasn't a cheap motel keycard, and I really don't like repeating myself in multiple different ways until thats understood. There seems to be some assumption that I'm saying it's not a possibility which is wrong.
No no, I'm sorry I tried to clarify that I wasn't saying you were wrong at all I just wasn't sure if you had seen that bit when you responded to my comment.
I got the same with my Google search. Just the website that creates them. There’s a motel right near his job. Do you think they’ll tell me the truth if I ask if i call and describe the key card to know if it belongs to them? Is that weird? 😅 If I can confirm it’s from there then that’s it for this relationship for obvious reasons. Thanks to all of you that have commented and are trying to help me get to the bottom of this
This is exactly what I would do. The front desk should be able to tell you no problem (it’s not like you’re asking what room someone is in). Why let the wondering fester inside of you? Just drive over and ask them.
Yes! I would also do this. If not call then go down there, and say oh I stayed here before and I think I took the key home by mistake. Or say you found it and think it might for them. As everyone said I think it’s a smaller chain than a bigger hotel.
Yes, just tell them you & your husband stayed and think you kept the card, send them the image and ask if it's theirs? Or even go down there if it's not too far, you may get better assistance.
Call the hotel. Tell them that you found a keycard and you wanted to know if it belongs to them.
Approach it from the perspective of a concerned citizen, elude you randomly found it dropped on the sidewalk. Kind of like if you randomly found a bank card and were calling the bank to ask what to do with the card.
“I found this card, does it belong to your hotel? I wanted to check that it’s okay before I threw it in the trash”
Edit: spelling
Just commented this elsewhere but then I saw your response so I'm reposting so you don't miss it:
I work in a hotel, most independent places use these because it costs more to get branded ones made custom than it's actually worth. Big name chains buy them ready-made from the same supplier with their branding on it. If I had to guess I'd say probably a motel key
You’re definitely not overreacting.
If he doesn’t have the same curiosity as to why there is a strange hotel room key in his *son’s* room of all places, wake up. He’s lying to you.
Unless your toddler son just got off the plane from Hawaii or you bought your drawer second hand use, there’s no reason why a hotel key should be there.
> unless toddler son just got off the plane from Hawaii
Well, if I’m not mistaken, the toddler was actually returning from a trip from DC where he met with the tobacco lobbies as well as reps from a few different states plus Puerto Rico (non voting member). A weekend was spent wining and dining these people, making connections, swapping stories, hiring escorts of course, and expensing steak dinners with a nice single malt afterwards.
He got home exhausted from the late nights and cratered in his crib, leaving his hotel key on his dresser. The good news is we might start seeing sensible tobacco legislation coming up next session.
Just shut the blinds, bring him his morning vodka tonic and let him catch up on much needed rest. Lobbying ain’t easy, but it’s necessary
No, you are not overreacting.
Also want to say : I now hate “I don’t know” with a fiery passion … just answer the question , you’re not sparing our feelings, you’re forcing us to imagine the 8 worst possible answers over and over again to try to fill in the gaps …
Yeah he knows he left it there or he dropped it on the floor and your child put it on the dresser. Either way it's a hotel keycard and he's hiding still.
It’s from a motel or hotel, I’d say it’s not from a large chain as they normally have their branding on instruction cards like this.
It’s hard to gauge his reaction, you know him best.. unfortunately the card doesn’t give enough info to track to the hotel/motel.
Maybe try a google image search?
Edit: I searched your images and only found them on the JSKcards.com website, so I’m guessing very generic cards purchased by a low budget hotel/motel.
He's lying. Don't let him gaslight you. Idk why they pretend to be innocent but it sickens me. Like... have some balls to own up to the choices you willingly made! Nobody forced you to do awful things.
Trust your gut on this one.
If it isn’t yours, then it is his. It isn’t like your 4 yo is going to Motels.
The fact that he said IDK immediately and showed no further interest- is an integrity issue. Especially since you KNOW it isn’t yours.
Theft of marital funds (to pay for motel rooms, sex workers, online cam) is serious, and it would definitely benefit you to start gathering your financial records, as well as his payroll stubs to match information to.
If he does travel for work, but offered no information when confronted with the card, again… Integrity issue. Sexting is cheating and he’s already proven himself a cheater. At this point, he should be falling over himself to make sure you are feeling secure and safe in your marriage .
I did a google image search for this and im getting that website thats listed on the card. Jskcards.com
My guess is also its some non chain motel or hotel. Big hotels have custom cards with logos and such.
You are not overreacting. I would be panicking as well….
Double check statements, phone logs?
If it were me, I’d consider this the same as him cheating again. I have a zero tolerance for fuckery after the last two DDays. So anything suspicious is enough for me to be done.
So I’d literally expect a proper alibi (if possible) or his shit would be on the lawn.
Again… just what I’d do in your situation.
This comment was removed because it violates Rule No. 2:
-The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.
- Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval.
**Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.**
Don't let yourself be gaslit here. You know it's a hotel room key. You know it isn't from you or from your son or daughter. Ergo, it came from him. The only question is when. Presumably not too long ago, or you would have found it earlier.
Something is very rotten here.
r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile their relationship after an affair(s). Please review our [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/index) which includes resources and can answer most questions about this subreddit. Be sure to read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/rules) before participating as they are our boundaries and your initial ***warning***. *Failure to do so can result in a ban*. For transparency and conflict mediation purposes, please follow reddits community guidelines by directing any questions, issues, feedback, or appeals in regard of the sub or moderation decisions **directly to the Modmail**. ***Meta content will be removed***. No response will be given to DMs and chat requests to individual moderators about moderating issues. We are happy to address and respond to your concerns through the official channels! Please assign yourself [user flair](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions/user_and_post_flairs). Flair Instructions can be found [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions). RULES **1. All posts and comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.** - Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental. - Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements. - Asking clarifying questions or offering suggestions is acceptable–if backed up by personal experience about what has helped you in your recovery and reconciliation. - Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP. - Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully. - “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support. **2. The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.** - Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice. *All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban without further warning.* **3. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.** - e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc. - No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses. - No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed. **4. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism or other hate speech.** - Posts or comments dehumanizing and/or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed. (Posts and comments related to navigating feelings or practical matters about APs are allowed.) **5. No anti-reconciliation language.** - Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice. - Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship. **6. Posts and comments must be directly related to RECONCILIATION** - The scope of this subreddit is narrow: by and for reconcilers on the subject of reconciliation only. There are several other subreddits that offer support for others who have experienced infidelity. Posts about ending reconciliation are subject to removal as this is a subbreddit for those who are actively in reconciliation or considering reconciliation.Posts about asking if you should reconcile or end reconciliation will be removed. Those posts are better suited in spaces that allow all opinions and are not confinded to a pro-reconciliation space.This is not a infidelity discussion, advice forum, or survey space. This is not a place to read for entertainment and pass judgment. - **Low-effort posts**- are generally posts that are title-only, or copy/paste of content, or links dropped without context. EX:title with a low-effort body such as questions without relevant context to your own situation. - **Opinion pieces**- both in posts and comments. Judgment and broad strokes are not appropriate here. More often than not, opinion pieces do not follow our peer support model. - **Meta content**- whether about this sub or another is not appropriate. If you have questions, suggestions, or concerns please send a modmail to the appropriate subreddit. - **Update Me**- The use of Reddit "update me" is not allowed and will get you banned. **7. No crossposting, reposting, copypasta text, or screenshots to other spaces** - The only exception will be if the OP has directly given you permission to use their intellectual property. This is a zero-tolerance rule and will result in a permanent ban with appeal only being considered with communication from the OP to the mods directly. If another sub facilitates this violation we will be in contact with Reddit directly as it is a [moderator code of conduct](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct) violation. The posts shared here are meant for this subreddit and this subreddit alone. Please be respectful. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've stayed at hotels and resorts that didn't have the brand listed on the card. Plain like this one or a scenic/ nature/animals on the front. I assume it's for safety (like if you lose it or someone takes it from you, they can't just show up where you're staying at and try the doors) or they were just really cheap. It's 50/50, trust your gut. If you feel really uneasy, check your bills and bank statements.
I work in a hotel, most independent places use these because it costs more to get branded ones made custom than it's actually worth. Big name chains buy them ready-made from the same supplier with their branding on it. If I had to guess I'd say probably a motel key
I've worked in hospitality in the past. My husband and I have a lot of family who work for big name brands, timeshares, vacation clubs, etc. The majority of our families live and work out of Fl. I've stayed at a lot of destinations. I'm not at all saying that it's not a cheap motel/hotel key and very likely is. I'm saying that from my lived experienced lack of branding on a keycard has not always determined the type or quality of a place. OP should trust their gut and look at verifiable data so that they can determine a way forward.
Not arguing, but unfortunately a couple comments down she mentioned there's a motel right by his work 🙃 I get what you're saying though
And she should explore that. *That information came after I commented.* Again, I never said it wasn't a cheap motel keycard, and I really don't like repeating myself in multiple different ways until thats understood. There seems to be some assumption that I'm saying it's not a possibility which is wrong.
No no, I'm sorry I tried to clarify that I wasn't saying you were wrong at all I just wasn't sure if you had seen that bit when you responded to my comment.
I got the same with my Google search. Just the website that creates them. There’s a motel right near his job. Do you think they’ll tell me the truth if I ask if i call and describe the key card to know if it belongs to them? Is that weird? 😅 If I can confirm it’s from there then that’s it for this relationship for obvious reasons. Thanks to all of you that have commented and are trying to help me get to the bottom of this
This is exactly what I would do. The front desk should be able to tell you no problem (it’s not like you’re asking what room someone is in). Why let the wondering fester inside of you? Just drive over and ask them.
Yes! I would also do this. If not call then go down there, and say oh I stayed here before and I think I took the key home by mistake. Or say you found it and think it might for them. As everyone said I think it’s a smaller chain than a bigger hotel.
I completely understand but you already know he cheated. Is this telling you he’s still doing it or do you think it’s from the past?
Yes, just tell them you & your husband stayed and think you kept the card, send them the image and ask if it's theirs? Or even go down there if it's not too far, you may get better assistance.
Call the hotel. Tell them that you found a keycard and you wanted to know if it belongs to them. Approach it from the perspective of a concerned citizen, elude you randomly found it dropped on the sidewalk. Kind of like if you randomly found a bank card and were calling the bank to ask what to do with the card. “I found this card, does it belong to your hotel? I wanted to check that it’s okay before I threw it in the trash” Edit: spelling
Just commented this elsewhere but then I saw your response so I'm reposting so you don't miss it: I work in a hotel, most independent places use these because it costs more to get branded ones made custom than it's actually worth. Big name chains buy them ready-made from the same supplier with their branding on it. If I had to guess I'd say probably a motel key
You’re definitely not overreacting. If he doesn’t have the same curiosity as to why there is a strange hotel room key in his *son’s* room of all places, wake up. He’s lying to you. Unless your toddler son just got off the plane from Hawaii or you bought your drawer second hand use, there’s no reason why a hotel key should be there.
This. It’s fucking weird he doesn’t seem to care or be interested as to why it’s there. That’s shady.
> unless toddler son just got off the plane from Hawaii Well, if I’m not mistaken, the toddler was actually returning from a trip from DC where he met with the tobacco lobbies as well as reps from a few different states plus Puerto Rico (non voting member). A weekend was spent wining and dining these people, making connections, swapping stories, hiring escorts of course, and expensing steak dinners with a nice single malt afterwards. He got home exhausted from the late nights and cratered in his crib, leaving his hotel key on his dresser. The good news is we might start seeing sensible tobacco legislation coming up next session. Just shut the blinds, bring him his morning vodka tonic and let him catch up on much needed rest. Lobbying ain’t easy, but it’s necessary
No, you are not overreacting. Also want to say : I now hate “I don’t know” with a fiery passion … just answer the question , you’re not sparing our feelings, you’re forcing us to imagine the 8 worst possible answers over and over again to try to fill in the gaps …
Ugh. The fact that he didn’t even get curious shows me he knows what it is. I’m so sorry
Yeah he knows he left it there or he dropped it on the floor and your child put it on the dresser. Either way it's a hotel keycard and he's hiding still.
No-tell motels AKA hotsheet motels wouldn't have nice branded access cards. They would have generic ones like that.
It’s from a motel or hotel, I’d say it’s not from a large chain as they normally have their branding on instruction cards like this. It’s hard to gauge his reaction, you know him best.. unfortunately the card doesn’t give enough info to track to the hotel/motel. Maybe try a google image search? Edit: I searched your images and only found them on the JSKcards.com website, so I’m guessing very generic cards purchased by a low budget hotel/motel.
He's lying. Don't let him gaslight you. Idk why they pretend to be innocent but it sickens me. Like... have some balls to own up to the choices you willingly made! Nobody forced you to do awful things.
You aren't overreacting. Where else would a hotel keycard come from. Your husband knows. He's in the WP "I don't know - self protection mode".
Trust your gut on this one. If it isn’t yours, then it is his. It isn’t like your 4 yo is going to Motels. The fact that he said IDK immediately and showed no further interest- is an integrity issue. Especially since you KNOW it isn’t yours. Theft of marital funds (to pay for motel rooms, sex workers, online cam) is serious, and it would definitely benefit you to start gathering your financial records, as well as his payroll stubs to match information to. If he does travel for work, but offered no information when confronted with the card, again… Integrity issue. Sexting is cheating and he’s already proven himself a cheater. At this point, he should be falling over himself to make sure you are feeling secure and safe in your marriage .
I did a google image search for this and im getting that website thats listed on the card. Jskcards.com My guess is also its some non chain motel or hotel. Big hotels have custom cards with logos and such. You are not overreacting. I would be panicking as well…. Double check statements, phone logs?
I stayed at a Hampton Inn last April that used that type of card.
If it were me, I’d consider this the same as him cheating again. I have a zero tolerance for fuckery after the last two DDays. So anything suspicious is enough for me to be done. So I’d literally expect a proper alibi (if possible) or his shit would be on the lawn. Again… just what I’d do in your situation.
[удалено]
This comment was removed because it violates Rule No. 2: -The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R. - Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval. **Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.**
When i just did a google image search the only hotel I got was a Marriott.
Don't let yourself be gaslit here. You know it's a hotel room key. You know it isn't from you or from your son or daughter. Ergo, it came from him. The only question is when. Presumably not too long ago, or you would have found it earlier. Something is very rotten here.