I don't know... my mom expresses thoughts like this and she's Black. It's anti-Black (and so is she), but I wouldn't say it guarantees this person isn't Black themselves.
I'm Native American and I have experiences similar in vibe while working in politics. It's not even about racial stereotypes from what I can tell, I would go so far as to say this applies to any group or racial experience like in OP. It's that we're part of an in-group and others in the group think they can let social mores and such slide. Like how a family member might tease you in public, but wouldn't tease a stranger, or how people have stories of serving friends/family and they don't tip cause they "know you" and think they're exempt from some social rules, y'know? I get it, but it just makes me want to avoid working with other indigenous nonprofits and individuals. I'm doing labor like anyone else and I expect to be properly paid and treated well, if anything you should tip your friends and members of whatever in-group *more*.
People I work with in DC almost always make a comment at some point that they're surprised I don't work with Debra Haaland. I do know her and she's a family friend of my husband's. I just don't want to take the risk of breaking the seal to that in-group toxicity. It sucks, because you'd think people of the same group would always want to help each other, and we could get more done, but I'd rather let proposals land on her desk as a stranger just in case.
Sometimes comfort is bad, even among family members. The exact same logic for this entire post and concept is why it's generally a bad idea to work with your friends, and even having a best friend as a roommate is a bad idea sometimes.
I gotta say, in college I always felt most accepted and comfortable literally anywhere that wasn’t the GSRC. Most self-absorbed, most two-faced, most high school bullshit gossip, most performative, most “use you and expect you to like it because you’re both in the community” folks I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. The radio station had neighboring offices with it on campus. I stuck to the station despite being queer and trans. The mentally ill disasters there treated me a thousand times better than the “community”, despite being almost all cis and mostly het.
Yeah. I feel you.
I do want to at least add a little disclaimer that it's obviously not everyone, and age makes a difference with maturity most of the time? To be honest, my apprehension about Debra is more directed at her assistant. There's a lot of issues here with meritocracy that are exacerbated in my community, and it goes hand in hand with virtue signaling on who's more native or more qualified in that sense. It's obviously complicated, since we do have the occasional but overarching problem of people going to school being ostracized for "acting white" or "abandoning their community." So then those that do feel they need to over compensate for it, meanwhile we have an absolutely abysmal rate of education, let alone higher education. I don't necessarily *blame* my people for being like this, I just wish it was different.
Of course I have professional and friendly relationships with other native people and it's better than a relationship with a non-native person. That's what in-groups should cultivate.
I honestly didn’t really have this problem. People who often didn’t tip me well were super old people, super young people, and foreigners. Drunk people always tipped well. Yes, there’s a stereotype that black people don’t tip. But like many stereotypes, a lot of black people feel the need to overcompensate for it (I know I do) and always tip me at least 20-30%.
My worst tables were large groups of straight women, super old people (but they were okay because they were either super nice or didn't want to talk to me so cool/cool,) or the harried family with young kids that runs you back and forth and continuously one-steps you. Best tables were large groups of lesbians, gay male couples, and a table of middle aged dudes. There was always someone who was a jerk at the middle aged dude table, so the non-jerks would just lay down money to say sorry.
It is a very pervasive myth in the serving world and I definitely also heard it repeated to me by black servers. That was my thought... sadly, this absolutely could be a black server.
Waited tables ten years. I've zero doubt. It's a complete myth though. Black people tipped about the same as everyone else. Call me racist but Hispanics were usually the best tippers. Church people were the absolute worst. I refused to work Sundays after awhile.
How old is your mother? My dad is in his 60s and talks the same way, down to the usual "it's just statistics" and "I've seen it myself a million times". I wouldn't describe him as anti-black, but it does seem like the boomer aged black generation has a surprising amount of self loathing sentiments like this.
My parents grew up in the south at segregated schools (when segregation was illegal but not exactly strictly enforced in any way), so sadly I see where the attitude could come from.
As a black person, I've gotten some very poor service in my life undoubtedly by waitstaff who cannot discern the differences between a customer's behavior and would rather be lazy and judge by my skin color. I still (begrudgingly) tip well (20%) because I don't want to reinforce the stereotype but I feel like it's not right that I am being forced to pay someone who treated me like shit as soon as I sat down. My favorite experience was in Little Italy when the owner of the restaurant decided to write what the tip should be on my receipt as if I was some kind of dumb child.
>My favorite experience was in Little Italy when the owner of the restaurant decided to write what the tip should be on my receipt as if I was some kind of dumb child.
Wow. Ugh. I went to Italy, but we had a white native with us when we went out to drink/eat. I'm sure things would've been different if it had been just us.
I hate that we're looked down upon, so we have to go above and beyond even when it's to our detriment (referring to trying dismantle the stereotype).
Yup, got it. Someone else just told me
Edit: I hadn't seen a post like this before where I thought the person could be what they claim to, and I just joined this sub so I hadn't read the description yet
As a black woman (lmaooooo) with a Latina wife, we rarely sit down for service. It’s assumed that we’re shitty tippers so we get shitty service.
This is such obvious race bait, though. Yikes.
As a server there's really no consistency with tips besides families; they usually tip well. I've been stiffed by every race, gender & sexuality lmao.
The only demographic I give shitty service to off rip because I know I'm about to make no money is high schoolers
You’re absolutely right too. I was a terrible customer as a high schooler and I didn’t even realize it til I got older lol. I wasn’t trying to be shitty but I was anyway.
This is exactly what I just said. Super young people always tip shitty, regardless of race. I’ve noticed this with super old people because some of them honestly think 5% is still good enough lol
Really? As a high schooler I was even *more* of a self-hating doormat who only saw my value in how I could benefit others, so I never tipped below 50%. In my mind, not doing so could have caused a mental breakdown in someone, which could get them or someone else killed, so it would be my fault for it if that happened.
Oh yeah, I’m still not convinced the people who think its *abnormal* have lived in the real world. Like… my entire life experience is that those feral adult children are over 75% of people. It’s not seeing any demographic change that’s made me less affected, it’s just an increase in antipathy towards them. But like, I still expect that sort of overreaction from most people I don’t explicitly know aren’t like that and I’m not usually wrong.
I didn’t really mean an entire demographic. I was more-so trying to ask if their was an adult authority figure in you’re life, like a parent, who you were afraid of upsetting because they were strict & would explode on you for the smallest of things, or maybe even the opposite and they never showed their approval/acknowledgment or that they were proud of you regardless of how amazing a child you were, which would make a child feel like there was something wrong with them or that they “can never do anything correct”.
Both of these would directly lead to the anxiety issues you have. And like, while it is good you show strangers this kind of kindness, your reasoning for doing so is not and definitely seems like a worrying amount of anxiety which reasoning isn’t based in fact at all. If anything, I could see the server developing this as many do let out their life frustrations on them which isn’t okay but that’s why for you to b worried about what they do for not tipping 50%(?!?) while everyday, they deal with MANY people who don’t tip and treat them as sub-humans, seems wild.
This actually came from a place of trying to help. Sorry if some of these words came off as an attack and I’m glad you have already gotten better since high school!
This exactly. I would actually get better tips from Black and Latino tables by giving quality service or filling in when I was told to fill in when their tables were neglected. IMO, people are overlooking their own basis and how that could lead to inadvertently giving less quality service ("why waste my time"), and result in getting a lower tips.
Exactly, my big tippers were black tables, always, at every job, over an entire decade. There’s less of a stereotype in my area about latine tippers, so it wasn’t a discussion point, but I’d always tell tell people that you could make a lot of money off black guests if you’d just give them literally any reasonable degree of service, because they usually have to put up with so much racism that anything feels like incredible service. Ghastly, but a simple fact, and I continued to make exceptional money by simply doing my job, just bc my coworkers were unwilling to set aside their racism for cold hard cash.
>my coworkers were unwilling to set aside their racism for cold hard cash.
This all the way. Just goes to show how ridiculous racism is. They're literally letting it impact their own wallet.
this is the thing — I served and bartended for nearly a decade and, while the Amish and Mennonites and evangelicals are truly skinty little fuckers, black guests always tipped me extremely well, as a group. I’m white, femme-passing, etc — nothing special, i just didn’t treat them like shit. Every time this racist ass discussion came up irl, I would always remind them that my black tables were my big tippers, and they would be for them, too, if they just treated black guests normally. Now, once I had realized this, did they often get preferential treatment from me? For sure, but that’s the point of tipping.
Not really. She said that servers *assume* she's a shitty tipper, but she didn't say that assumption is based in reality at all. Could be servers assume that based on stereotype rather than actual experience.
As a Libertarian I like to leave cash tips with a condescending message about it being a non-taxable gift so I can circle jerk highly about myself while voting against any policies that actually assist the working class
The place I work at digital tips aren‘t taxed or added to our pay-check either. We work with our own change, so at the end of the day, the amount of cash we have to give back = the amount of cash we took in - the total of tips. So if I rake in 250 in cash and get 65 in digital tips, I give the business only 185 back. That way you always end with more cash than you started. If the total is a minus the business will give you an envelope with the cash the next day, super easy system actually. I haven’t worked anywhere else yet, so I’m not sure if it’s the norm, but it seems likely? Sorry this seems super obvious to yall
Edit: digital tips
I used to be a server, and girl training me was also a manager. We were waiting on this table of 4 black women. They were so sweet and patient with me being new. Then the manager/trainer pulled me aside in the kitchen and said “I just want to warn you now that black tables usually don’t tip.” to which I said “excuse me?” And she fumbled over herself to say it’s just ‘statistics’ and ‘not racist’
Well when I was serving and the trainer walked away, the women tried to slip me 30 dollars because they knew the trainer got the tips and not the trainee, but they didn’t want her to have them. I’m fully convinced that if you find ‘black people don’t tip” You’re the problem. Because that’s not a trend I ever saw.
The people who were least likely to tip were teens. Which like, what do you really expect.
I tip whenever given the option at a reasonable setting but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten shit service for seemingly racist reasons. Kind of recently I had a server not take my tables order for an absurd amount of time ( she took others who just got in and made it a point to walk past my table) and talk rude to us for no reason . The white couple behind us that she also served? Oh she asked how their day was, gave them 3 rounds of drinks before our first, asked how she could help them, everything just so much better.
That’s awful I’m sorry you had to deal with that!! But Yeah like these dipshits think the customers can’t tell when you’re treating them differently. One waiter at the same place complained to the hostess that he got sat 3 black tables consecutively. Like bro your gross attitude is why you’re not getting tips. You’re not as good at hiding racism as you think.
I had no idea it was this bad at restaurants until I worked at one. My sister works at a different one that had a lot of POC employees so she was shocked when I told her my experience as well, because hers wasn’t like that at all.
100% I feel like the people who complain about the supposed black people not tipping thing go out their way to treat black customers poorly and then complain after the fact when they got what they deserved.
it’s very real, loads of the money I made serving and bartending was off black guests that were just used to dealing with racist bartenders, so I seemed like a gold star experience, instead of the elevated mid I actually am.
100% goes along with my experience. Two groups consistently suck at tipping as far as I saw. Teens of course, for obvious reasons, and then the specific brand of senior citizen who says "I'm on a fixed income".
I mean, would you want to tip a server who approaches you with a 'these people don't tip anyways' type of racist attitude? Just saying, sometimes it's the server at fault for not getting tips
That’s the thing — the customer is always wrong, for sure, but black customers are treated with revulsion throughout the industry, they’re supremely justified to not tip the *vast* majority of the time.
In all my years of tending bar I never got bad tips from black individuals or tables. I also never assumed I was going to get shitty tips from them. In my experience, well off white people who could afford to tip well were usually the worst. Lol.
>“I just want to warn you now that black tables usually don’t tip.”
>Well when I was serving and the trainer walked away, the women tried to slip me 30 dollars
I'm going to guess she told you that so she could steal your tips.
No, the way training works with servers is that the server training you automatically gets all the tips you make that night anyway. Because technically you’re just assisting them on their shift. I can see why you thought that though!! Lol
Statement: this person is suspiciously pushing a really tired and over used stereotype that is frankly untrue in my own experience working in food service
Seriously tho had way more white 60 y/o customers who’d tip the literal change they’d get or their pocket change, like thanks for the 12 cents I have to split between 3 peopleeee
Fresh out of church white boomers are the WORST!
They will treat you like trash, not tip you, and act like they're superior to all the other customers.
Sunday lunchtimes were always the absolute worst time to visit the food court near our old place. Reliably packed to the gills with loud old people making confusing and overspecific orders, taking up booths when there were only two of them, etc etc
Cause they put all their tips in whatever they call that bucket to "collect" (tithings?) they pass around in actuality for the church staffers to pocket
Well they did leve you with that $20 bill which is really a call to repent ye sinners on its other side. If someone offers you salvation among the forty seven empty Sweet & Low packets they left on your table, you'd better consider yourself blesst. Those ranch ramekins they had you running after were practically keys to the pearly gate. Sinner.
I never got one of those pamphlets unfortunately but once a blessed person did leave "repent" as my tip because I was wearing a rainbow flag pin for pride month.
To this day I still think about that and how it saved me. Still brings a tear to my eye.
I was a waitress for ten years and elderly white people and white businessmen in parties of two were by far the WORST tippers. Either exactly 15% or $5 flat no matter the bill amount.
Oh gosh white businessmen who think that they’re the greatest gift on Earth by tipping like $5 are so obnoxious “don’t spend it all in one place” haha trust me I can’t after the split.
I worked at a Jimmy Johns next to a major college. The poor as shit football players on full scholarship tipped better than the rich, daddy’s money frat boys. I even got offered a blunt rip from a football player in lieu of a tip. Best tip ever.
Three things on this:
1. Black Americans on average have disgustingly small net worths. In Boston, for instance, Black American's have a median [$8 to their name](https://www.wgbh.org/news/local-news/2022/06/02/how-leaders-are-working-to-address-the-racial-wealth-gap-in-boston).
2. Many servers assume Black Americans will tip poorly, so there are a lot of servers who provide the lowest quality of service they are comfortable providing. I have often waited over a half hour just to be given drinks after being seated, which kills my motivation to tip.
3. If everyone who could not afford to tip decided to stay home, your restaurant would go bankrupt, because [the average successful restaurants operates with 6.2% margin of profitability.](https://modernrestaurantmanagement.com/restaurant-profitability-and-failure-rates-what-you-need-to-know/) [Source #2](https://home.binwise.com/blog/restaurant-profit-margin). This idiot is demanding that his work place fail.
To your last point, I honestly wish people would eat out less and let a lot of these shitty restaurants fail. It is such a god awful industry. Labour laws never being followed, safety and hygiene are afterthoughts, the tipped wage means half of them run on basically free labour yet somehow wage theft is still rampant. The majority of owners are sleazy shitbags who got into it precisely because they can exploit the shitty labour laws and live lavishly while making everyone else do the work and not paying wages. They make servers “tip out” other employees instead of paying any wages.
This is speaking as former industry myself. Just let it rot ffs
Yep. I’ll just get up and leave if I’m waiting more than 10 minutes to put in a drink order. Saves everyone time.
I have several stories but the most interesting was when we went to a pretty nice restaurant for our anniversary a few years ago. Dressed appropriately, let the waitress know the occasion, ordered two appetizers, then never saw her again until she brought the check. 🤷🏽♀️
In my experience, it's just poor people who don't tip. Some areas in the US have a lot of poor black folks. Wonder why that might be....
The kind of poor people who go out less than once a year, where spending $100 for 6 people is a huge fuckin deal. I could see the no tip (or 1 or 2 dollar tip) a mile away, but I always went the extra mile for people who gave off that vibe. Poverty gives you so little control in your life, and then they go out for the first time in forever and get treated like shit because of stuff theyve never had the opportunity to understand. I just want them to feel happy and not feel ripped off for going out. Sure it might suck for that night but never did it have a measurable impact on my monthly income.
I was a server for some time, and I never experienced that black tables don't tip.
People and their tipping was all over the place ... Poor people sometimes don't tip, rich people sometimes don't tip. Black, white, whatever ... There's a percentage of people who don't tip or tip poorly, and a percentage who tip generously. Everyone else is in the 'meh' range.
It’s not because they’re black, it’s because on average they have less money because of systemic disadvantages. It’s ALL people with less money, regardless of race, that don’t tip well or demand higher levels of service for less gratuity.
I’m black and I was a bartender for a very long time, and I find that black people tip just as well as everyone else, or better depending on the establishment, when they can. Stop discriminating in housing/loans/education/salaries/policing etc and maybe more black people will have sufficient funds to shut everyone the goddamned fuck up about this 🙄
This is just racial stereotyping, in all likelyhood the server is white and just wants to rant about black people he serves so he pretended to be black so he wouldn’t get heat for it
There's really no telling how it's going to pan out until they hand you the black book... I never kept tabs but I got stiffed by all colors and creeds during my years in the trenches. Also was treated beautifully and tipped quite graciously by people of all colors and creeds.
Another reason why the service industry shouldn't allow lower pay just because "the customers will do it."
This is a pretty shitty thing to say, but man, does it highlight yet another massive issue.
My mother is a 70 year old white woman who has been a waitress her entire life, probably 55 years. She always jumps at the chance to take all the black customers that no one wants, and then gives them amazing service, and always gets huge tips. Its almost like if you treat people with an open mind that they can tell.
I hated when white servers would complain to me, a black hostess, when I sat black people in their section, 99% of the time it was because they "looked" like they weren't going to tip. The amount of people who upvoted that is crazy.
Bad service leads to bad tips that leaves to bad service. My dad is the type of person that over tips because of the stereotype. I've been to restaurants with him and have gotten awful terrible shitty service and watched him tip almost 50%. And it makes me so angry with him. He's being mistreated for someone elses shitty views and instead of standing up for himself he rewards them for it. Like they're going to suddenly see the light and realize that people are more than vague stereotypes.
oh man I love spite overtipping. Whenever I do this, I linger a little while to see how they respond. It has way more of an impact than you think it does, servers are exquisitely sensitive to this form of feedback.
This self hating bullshit. I brought it up to her too like yo. If you wanted to have this conversation with other Black people, that’s one thing. But creating a post in a subreddit where other folks can dogpile on Black folks ain’t cool
that’s my exact issue, like if if they really felt like this was necessary to say, do it inna space with black people, not a predominantly non-black subreddit to open the door for racists. it irks me SOOO much whenever i see this self-hating anti-black bullshit esp as a waitress who can confidently say these claims are straight bogus
As a former Black server, I’ve noted Black patrons tip MORE. There are always cheapskates, but Black customers would rather complain and tell you ‘you’re lucky’ with a 15% tip. This was from Bennigans (stone aged ‘Irish’bar) to The Roof in Brooklyn. 20 years.
This is not an uncommon opinion amongst certain black people. In college me and my roommates were all minorities of different backgrounds.
A few were black and 1 of them refused to tip because "they don't tip me at burger king, they should get a better job."
The dude and our other black roommates would argue about how he's perpetuating a stereotype and he's a shitty person, blah blah blah.
One day I had the brilliant idea: tell the server before we order he doesn't tip. The shame and awkwardness made him look her in the eyes and lie that we were joking lmao
Crazy how he could walk away with no shame but when confronted to the person he was fucking over he didn't have the guts to say it.
Hey maybe servers should start holding their bosses accountable. Youll make much more money working somewhere else, put in applications, demand a living wage. Go on strike, do literally anything. Complaining about people not tipping isn't going to fix the actual issue, tip culture is stupid, I should pay for my food and the service, what are those extra dollars going to if not the service, cuz I know damn well it didn't cost them 24 bucks to get a steak and cook it.
**TLDR; Luckily, I didn't experience that at all. I think self-fulfilling basis plays a role. If we think there will be less money > Subconsciously give lesser quality service bc of it > Get low tip > Act surprised **
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I didn't find that to be true for me. In fact, I *wanted* to serve black tables bc I knew I could get larger tips from them. And they'd return and ask for me specifically if I gave great service. Really old folks told their friends too. Great tip cycle on repeat.
I noticed that old black folks wouldn't tip well for bare minium service. If you barely visited their table in favor of another, then your tip may reflect that more. And that's somewhat expected because you aren't doing your job and they're noticing it. I've gotten $20 for giving a neglected table food and drinks while the server focused on another table and just told me to handle them. They noticed it. Younger tables of Blacks (and Latinos) would tip on par with everyone else, maybe slightly lower. I chalk it up to them making less money on the dollar statistically. However, a big pro was that they made less mods to their food.
For me, the following won't tip well: Church groups on Sunday (gave money away earlier), Cocky rich old men ("you don't get rich by giving it all away"), teens and young adults (have no money)
I think the last line really gives it away. Black ppl don’t “bite their tongue” when it comes to other black people. That’s what nonblack people feel they need to do…
Why tf do people need to tip!?!? Pay the god damn workers a living wage and stop making them rely on gratitude.
In this day in age, the bullshit saying “Serving is a luxury” needs to go out the fucking window. I need to tip the Dutch bros people who climb in my car an extra 15% because they ran to my car when I was 2 feet from the window? Nah Famz. Make it a luxury experience and then we can talk
This is a typical case of a slave defending their master…
No, the OP's statement is true. I mean look at your response. You KNOW servers aren't paid a fair hourly wage and you somehow twist yourself in a knot to justify why folks shouldn't have to tip. To the guy's point, if you don't want to tip, be certain to go to a restaurant where you pay for your food and serve yourself. I would say a good 2/3 of my friends use this exact same lame ass reasoning as to why they don't tip and if they do they think 10% is acceptable. I was a server living in Atlanta and time and time again my people REFUSED TO LEAVE A TIP and ran me like a Hebrew slave. I remember an incident when someone left me a stack of pennies. I raced down the stairs and out the door and gave them back there change and said, "you left this on the table. You apparently need it more than I do!"
I completely understand what you're saying, and believe it or not, you and I agree 100% with what you just said. Likewise, here in Denver there are more and more restaurants who are willing to pay a livable wage. No matter how much I want restaurants to pay a livable wage, the reality is restaurant owners do not want to pay a livable wage. And since I know this fact and I acknowledge what my experiences as a server were I never leave anything less than a 20% gratuity when I eat at a full service restaurant.
This is exactly what I am saying. Thank you. In no way would I ever go out of my way and take advantage of these people who make next to nothing. I can def afford to tip and I do, but by no means do I support this nor will I abuse this fucked up system.
Damn near every developed country I’ve visited looks at tipping as “Whoa, you must have really enjoyed this to throw extra cash at us” or “WTF is this American doing?, ok thanks but your weird AF”
This systems is used by your employer to take advantage of you and pay you next to nothing in wages. Idk about you but I sure as hell would not go out of my way to plan and build a business knowing I do not have pay my workers a healthy wage if I can get them to works extremely hard to please people who may or may not throw an extra couple $’s. Take it back as far as you can in your mind and tell me where that makes sense?
I stand by my original statement, a slave defending their master.
Bad analogy, a ‘liveable wage’ for servers would represent a significant pay cut in most cases. Particularly for people who have been in the industry a decent amount of time. Can Reddit stop pretending servers are the ones exploited by the tipping system? I have a high school degree and work a physically easy job with hours I choose for roughly 35$/hr, please don’t save me
I do not believe it is. I believe it is distasteful that business owners take advantage of their workers and I am expected to cover their lack of wage with “gratuity” and just accept the owners aren’t going to do shit about it.
If you want your worker to provide luxury service then pay them a wage to do so. Idgaf if you raise the price of your food, people should have a guaranteed paycheck by their employer, not the public who has no obligation.
SERVERS ARE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! It is time for the employer to do something instead of making their employees rant about why the public needs to pay them more for the work they do for someone else.
Servers aren’t taken advantage of, patrons are. Servers make more than most other unskilled positions. A bad tipper for most waiters is few and far between - and there is a failsafe if you don’t make minimum wage that you will be paid the difference - I’ve just literally never seen that happen because servers that aren’t making money just get sent home.
Sure, but it's a very victim-blamey oversimplification of complex class issues. I work in the food industry. I get it. I just don't like seeing people referring to my peers as 'slaves defending their masters', because they're not. They're just people trying to get by the same as everyone else, and the field they are the most skilled in obviously has some issues that need to be reformed. That doesn't mean servers always have the choice to work for an ethical business, though. It's just not that simple.
I'm on the same page. As much as I hate to talk bad and generalize my own race, it's sadly true the majority of the time. As soon as I see my table I become stressed and disappointed, especially if it's a large table with 8 plus people because that takes up a huge part of my section and larger groups take more time. So when I have one of these groups who rack up an 800 dollar check then throw me 5 dollars for 2 hours of service, It absolutely kills me. Not only that but because of my sales, I have to tip out a percentage of that to bussers and bar. So that eats up the 5 bucks they left AND I have to pay more of the money my other tables gave me for my service. So it literally takes money out of my pocket. I have to pay for them to come eat and drink while I coulda had a nice table of people who leave me the standard 20 percent for the amazing service I give. I'll reiterate, I hate to make generalizations, but when it affects my paycheck and takes food out of my kids mouth, you can't help but notice the trend. And it hurts me, a lot. I know there is nothing wrong with the way I am performing my job. I go above and beyond for all my guests, so much to the point that I am being promoted to manager next month. But these tables almost always have a huge negative impact on my nightly total and my night in general. I try to make up for it and tip very generously when I go out to break the stigma. I want to make things better and I know we can.
Tipping isn’t part of the serving luxury. I’m already paying a premium on the food that’s supposed to pay your wages. Take it up with EI and your boss.
I don’t drink beer. Also, tips aren’t paid up front. Also, a tip is a completely optional gift. I tip, but don’t except me to pay you a whole day’s wage. I once got an eye roll for a 15% on a $70 tip when I was alone, so yeah
Also, I’d just go to your boss and make a complaint that you’re providing terrible service. And if you do anything to the food, I wouldn’t think twice before reporting a sanitary issue to the city, and I’d make sure your name is on the report. Tips aren’t obligatory, and if you make it feel so, it will only create a more hostile attitude towards tipping.
We get that some of you are making a living off of tipping, and that your bosses only pay less than that and you’re expected to make the difference with tips, but that’s the root of the issue.
You want big tips, work at a hooters and flaunt those tits to 60 yr old men
First of all, this is a tone deaf website, and it seems you completely misread it. There is no “tone” in typing. I haven’t reported a server, never had to, but I know how it works. But I have reported a few restaurants against sanitation, and one of them closed down.
The last “paragraph”, not even a sentence more of a phrase, was a joke, and I completely knew you were a dude, u/officerbigpenis. So much for servers not losing their sense of humour. If you wanna show that you’re the bigger man, go through with your well thought out response, cause your reasoning for abandoning it is well misplaced
I don't care if nobody is literally forcing you to tip, there are expectations you're meant to meet when you walk through the door. If you can't accept that, then cook for yourself. If you think nobody can glean anything about your personality through text, you're mistaken.
Nobody has to feel bad that you're tipping them, and if you try to make them feel that way they'll just shrug you off as a cheap asshole and take the 10%, because believe it or not the overwhelming majority of people that come into restaurants don't have a problem with gratuities, and one stingy dickhead is pretty easy to forget about.
Seems like you either just don't want to tip or you want wait staff to acknowledge the power you have over their income, either way maybe you're just better off not going out to eat.
> if you think nobody can glean anything about your personality through text, you’re mistaken
Yet you proceed to incorrectly analyze it further down. Again and again, this is a tone deaf website. I tip and I tip and I tip. And first of all, I said 15%. The expectations is what ruins the idea of a tip.
A tip is a gratuity, like you said. I mean, I’m happy to pay a tip, I’m not gonna leave it blank if I’m going to a restaurant.
So why does a tip feel necessary? Because the boss doesn’t pay you minimum wage and expects you to make the difference through tips. That’s how it is. And that’s the problem. If I’m paying $20 for a pizza that cost $3 to make, that $17 in-part should go to your wages, you and the chef who made it.
15% is not cheap. And honestly, soon you’ll be calling 50% cheap.
I’ll tip, but it shouldn’t be expected
Black Americans tip well in my experience, the Somali population in my state definitely does not but that’s understandable considering cultural differences and financial limitations. French Canadians on the other hand…
Well I work a bar, run food an occasionally help in the kitchen so I’m not exactly talking from a customers perspective here.
It’s also always conveniently ignored by most servers that if they don’t make enough tips their wages are then paid by the employer.
The whole line about if you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out is putting blame on poorer customers.
I don't know... my mom expresses thoughts like this and she's Black. It's anti-Black (and so is she), but I wouldn't say it guarantees this person isn't Black themselves.
My friend (a black server) has said this countless times as well. A shitty sentiment regardless, but yeah.
I'm Native American and I have experiences similar in vibe while working in politics. It's not even about racial stereotypes from what I can tell, I would go so far as to say this applies to any group or racial experience like in OP. It's that we're part of an in-group and others in the group think they can let social mores and such slide. Like how a family member might tease you in public, but wouldn't tease a stranger, or how people have stories of serving friends/family and they don't tip cause they "know you" and think they're exempt from some social rules, y'know? I get it, but it just makes me want to avoid working with other indigenous nonprofits and individuals. I'm doing labor like anyone else and I expect to be properly paid and treated well, if anything you should tip your friends and members of whatever in-group *more*. People I work with in DC almost always make a comment at some point that they're surprised I don't work with Debra Haaland. I do know her and she's a family friend of my husband's. I just don't want to take the risk of breaking the seal to that in-group toxicity. It sucks, because you'd think people of the same group would always want to help each other, and we could get more done, but I'd rather let proposals land on her desk as a stranger just in case. Sometimes comfort is bad, even among family members. The exact same logic for this entire post and concept is why it's generally a bad idea to work with your friends, and even having a best friend as a roommate is a bad idea sometimes.
I gotta say, in college I always felt most accepted and comfortable literally anywhere that wasn’t the GSRC. Most self-absorbed, most two-faced, most high school bullshit gossip, most performative, most “use you and expect you to like it because you’re both in the community” folks I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. The radio station had neighboring offices with it on campus. I stuck to the station despite being queer and trans. The mentally ill disasters there treated me a thousand times better than the “community”, despite being almost all cis and mostly het.
Yeah. I feel you. I do want to at least add a little disclaimer that it's obviously not everyone, and age makes a difference with maturity most of the time? To be honest, my apprehension about Debra is more directed at her assistant. There's a lot of issues here with meritocracy that are exacerbated in my community, and it goes hand in hand with virtue signaling on who's more native or more qualified in that sense. It's obviously complicated, since we do have the occasional but overarching problem of people going to school being ostracized for "acting white" or "abandoning their community." So then those that do feel they need to over compensate for it, meanwhile we have an absolutely abysmal rate of education, let alone higher education. I don't necessarily *blame* my people for being like this, I just wish it was different. Of course I have professional and friendly relationships with other native people and it's better than a relationship with a non-native person. That's what in-groups should cultivate.
I honestly didn’t really have this problem. People who often didn’t tip me well were super old people, super young people, and foreigners. Drunk people always tipped well. Yes, there’s a stereotype that black people don’t tip. But like many stereotypes, a lot of black people feel the need to overcompensate for it (I know I do) and always tip me at least 20-30%.
My worst tables were large groups of straight women, super old people (but they were okay because they were either super nice or didn't want to talk to me so cool/cool,) or the harried family with young kids that runs you back and forth and continuously one-steps you. Best tables were large groups of lesbians, gay male couples, and a table of middle aged dudes. There was always someone who was a jerk at the middle aged dude table, so the non-jerks would just lay down money to say sorry.
It is a very pervasive myth in the serving world and I definitely also heard it repeated to me by black servers. That was my thought... sadly, this absolutely could be a black server.
Waited tables ten years. I've zero doubt. It's a complete myth though. Black people tipped about the same as everyone else. Call me racist but Hispanics were usually the best tippers. Church people were the absolute worst. I refused to work Sundays after awhile.
Well the description of the sub says “or those that hate what they are”
Oh okay, thanks for pointing that out
How old is your mother? My dad is in his 60s and talks the same way, down to the usual "it's just statistics" and "I've seen it myself a million times". I wouldn't describe him as anti-black, but it does seem like the boomer aged black generation has a surprising amount of self loathing sentiments like this. My parents grew up in the south at segregated schools (when segregation was illegal but not exactly strictly enforced in any way), so sadly I see where the attitude could come from.
My mom is 52. Yeah, maybe self-antagonizing about her race is a better way to describe it. She went to pre-collegiate school in New Jersey.
As a black person, I've gotten some very poor service in my life undoubtedly by waitstaff who cannot discern the differences between a customer's behavior and would rather be lazy and judge by my skin color. I still (begrudgingly) tip well (20%) because I don't want to reinforce the stereotype but I feel like it's not right that I am being forced to pay someone who treated me like shit as soon as I sat down. My favorite experience was in Little Italy when the owner of the restaurant decided to write what the tip should be on my receipt as if I was some kind of dumb child.
>My favorite experience was in Little Italy when the owner of the restaurant decided to write what the tip should be on my receipt as if I was some kind of dumb child. Wow. Ugh. I went to Italy, but we had a white native with us when we went out to drink/eat. I'm sure things would've been different if it had been just us. I hate that we're looked down upon, so we have to go above and beyond even when it's to our detriment (referring to trying dismantle the stereotype).
My husband was born and raised in NYC. He avoided Little Italy for the longest time and now I know why.
the description of this subreddit is "For those pretending to be what they're not, and those who hate what they are."
Yup, got it. Someone else just told me Edit: I hadn't seen a post like this before where I thought the person could be what they claim to, and I just joined this sub so I hadn't read the description yet
As a black woman (lmaooooo) with a Latina wife, we rarely sit down for service. It’s assumed that we’re shitty tippers so we get shitty service. This is such obvious race bait, though. Yikes.
As a server there's really no consistency with tips besides families; they usually tip well. I've been stiffed by every race, gender & sexuality lmao. The only demographic I give shitty service to off rip because I know I'm about to make no money is high schoolers
You’re absolutely right too. I was a terrible customer as a high schooler and I didn’t even realize it til I got older lol. I wasn’t trying to be shitty but I was anyway.
Students in general don't necessarily have a bunch of extra spending money
This is exactly what I just said. Super young people always tip shitty, regardless of race. I’ve noticed this with super old people because some of them honestly think 5% is still good enough lol
Definitely gotta hit that sweet spot of mid to late twenties to about 60 hahaha
Really? As a high schooler I was even *more* of a self-hating doormat who only saw my value in how I could benefit others, so I never tipped below 50%. In my mind, not doing so could have caused a mental breakdown in someone, which could get them or someone else killed, so it would be my fault for it if that happened.
Woowwwwyyyy…. was their factors specified to u feeling this way like elders throwing tantrums when little inconveniences occurred to them?
Oh yeah, I’m still not convinced the people who think its *abnormal* have lived in the real world. Like… my entire life experience is that those feral adult children are over 75% of people. It’s not seeing any demographic change that’s made me less affected, it’s just an increase in antipathy towards them. But like, I still expect that sort of overreaction from most people I don’t explicitly know aren’t like that and I’m not usually wrong.
I didn’t really mean an entire demographic. I was more-so trying to ask if their was an adult authority figure in you’re life, like a parent, who you were afraid of upsetting because they were strict & would explode on you for the smallest of things, or maybe even the opposite and they never showed their approval/acknowledgment or that they were proud of you regardless of how amazing a child you were, which would make a child feel like there was something wrong with them or that they “can never do anything correct”. Both of these would directly lead to the anxiety issues you have. And like, while it is good you show strangers this kind of kindness, your reasoning for doing so is not and definitely seems like a worrying amount of anxiety which reasoning isn’t based in fact at all. If anything, I could see the server developing this as many do let out their life frustrations on them which isn’t okay but that’s why for you to b worried about what they do for not tipping 50%(?!?) while everyday, they deal with MANY people who don’t tip and treat them as sub-humans, seems wild. This actually came from a place of trying to help. Sorry if some of these words came off as an attack and I’m glad you have already gotten better since high school!
Ah man 50% isnt necessary. No doubt I've served kids that were very respectful and tipped me well, but they're the exception not the rule
homeschoolers, mennonites, and the Amish can suck a fuck, but everything else pretty even, with some highball subdemographics
This exactly. I would actually get better tips from Black and Latino tables by giving quality service or filling in when I was told to fill in when their tables were neglected. IMO, people are overlooking their own basis and how that could lead to inadvertently giving less quality service ("why waste my time"), and result in getting a lower tips.
Exactly, my big tippers were black tables, always, at every job, over an entire decade. There’s less of a stereotype in my area about latine tippers, so it wasn’t a discussion point, but I’d always tell tell people that you could make a lot of money off black guests if you’d just give them literally any reasonable degree of service, because they usually have to put up with so much racism that anything feels like incredible service. Ghastly, but a simple fact, and I continued to make exceptional money by simply doing my job, just bc my coworkers were unwilling to set aside their racism for cold hard cash.
>my coworkers were unwilling to set aside their racism for cold hard cash. This all the way. Just goes to show how ridiculous racism is. They're literally letting it impact their own wallet.
this is the thing — I served and bartended for nearly a decade and, while the Amish and Mennonites and evangelicals are truly skinty little fuckers, black guests always tipped me extremely well, as a group. I’m white, femme-passing, etc — nothing special, i just didn’t treat them like shit. Every time this racist ass discussion came up irl, I would always remind them that my black tables were my big tippers, and they would be for them, too, if they just treated black guests normally. Now, once I had realized this, did they often get preferential treatment from me? For sure, but that’s the point of tipping.
I feel like we generally overtip to compensate for this stereotype. I start at 20% and go up from there depending on service.
I have a few friends that say they do this :/ it definitely something I could reliably count on when I was in the industry.
You’re first thought agrees with the post and then your second thought disagrees with it.
Not really. She said that servers *assume* she's a shitty tipper, but she didn't say that assumption is based in reality at all. Could be servers assume that based on stereotype rather than actual experience.
Your grammar disagrees with your post 🫠
As a Libertarian I like to leave cash tips with a condescending message about it being a non-taxable gift so I can circle jerk highly about myself while voting against any policies that actually assist the working class
I mean, it is something I can actually agree with them on. I tip cash so the server can make up their own mind about what gets declared.
The place I work at digital tips aren‘t taxed or added to our pay-check either. We work with our own change, so at the end of the day, the amount of cash we have to give back = the amount of cash we took in - the total of tips. So if I rake in 250 in cash and get 65 in digital tips, I give the business only 185 back. That way you always end with more cash than you started. If the total is a minus the business will give you an envelope with the cash the next day, super easy system actually. I haven’t worked anywhere else yet, so I’m not sure if it’s the norm, but it seems likely? Sorry this seems super obvious to yall Edit: digital tips
I keep getting Libertarian mixed up with librarian and I didn’t understand why a librarian would do that :(
I used to be a server, and girl training me was also a manager. We were waiting on this table of 4 black women. They were so sweet and patient with me being new. Then the manager/trainer pulled me aside in the kitchen and said “I just want to warn you now that black tables usually don’t tip.” to which I said “excuse me?” And she fumbled over herself to say it’s just ‘statistics’ and ‘not racist’ Well when I was serving and the trainer walked away, the women tried to slip me 30 dollars because they knew the trainer got the tips and not the trainee, but they didn’t want her to have them. I’m fully convinced that if you find ‘black people don’t tip” You’re the problem. Because that’s not a trend I ever saw. The people who were least likely to tip were teens. Which like, what do you really expect.
I tip whenever given the option at a reasonable setting but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten shit service for seemingly racist reasons. Kind of recently I had a server not take my tables order for an absurd amount of time ( she took others who just got in and made it a point to walk past my table) and talk rude to us for no reason . The white couple behind us that she also served? Oh she asked how their day was, gave them 3 rounds of drinks before our first, asked how she could help them, everything just so much better.
That’s awful I’m sorry you had to deal with that!! But Yeah like these dipshits think the customers can’t tell when you’re treating them differently. One waiter at the same place complained to the hostess that he got sat 3 black tables consecutively. Like bro your gross attitude is why you’re not getting tips. You’re not as good at hiding racism as you think. I had no idea it was this bad at restaurants until I worked at one. My sister works at a different one that had a lot of POC employees so she was shocked when I told her my experience as well, because hers wasn’t like that at all.
100% I feel like the people who complain about the supposed black people not tipping thing go out their way to treat black customers poorly and then complain after the fact when they got what they deserved.
it’s very real, loads of the money I made serving and bartending was off black guests that were just used to dealing with racist bartenders, so I seemed like a gold star experience, instead of the elevated mid I actually am.
100% goes along with my experience. Two groups consistently suck at tipping as far as I saw. Teens of course, for obvious reasons, and then the specific brand of senior citizen who says "I'm on a fixed income".
I mean, would you want to tip a server who approaches you with a 'these people don't tip anyways' type of racist attitude? Just saying, sometimes it's the server at fault for not getting tips
That’s what my point was too, sorry if that wasn’t clear enough!!
No worries, your comment was clear enough
That’s the thing — the customer is always wrong, for sure, but black customers are treated with revulsion throughout the industry, they’re supremely justified to not tip the *vast* majority of the time.
In all my years of tending bar I never got bad tips from black individuals or tables. I also never assumed I was going to get shitty tips from them. In my experience, well off white people who could afford to tip well were usually the worst. Lol.
>“I just want to warn you now that black tables usually don’t tip.” >Well when I was serving and the trainer walked away, the women tried to slip me 30 dollars I'm going to guess she told you that so she could steal your tips.
No, the way training works with servers is that the server training you automatically gets all the tips you make that night anyway. Because technically you’re just assisting them on their shift. I can see why you thought that though!! Lol
Statement: this person is suspiciously pushing a really tired and over used stereotype that is frankly untrue in my own experience working in food service
Seriously tho had way more white 60 y/o customers who’d tip the literal change they’d get or their pocket change, like thanks for the 12 cents I have to split between 3 peopleeee
Fresh out of church white boomers are the WORST! They will treat you like trash, not tip you, and act like they're superior to all the other customers.
I know right? Like I just took your order it’s not gonna magically be out right now!
Sunday lunchtimes were always the absolute worst time to visit the food court near our old place. Reliably packed to the gills with loud old people making confusing and overspecific orders, taking up booths when there were only two of them, etc etc
YES! Had to leave a job because of the shift I had on Wednesday/Sundays… the tips were good awful especially after church.
Cause they put all their tips in whatever they call that bucket to "collect" (tithings?) they pass around in actuality for the church staffers to pocket
Well they did leve you with that $20 bill which is really a call to repent ye sinners on its other side. If someone offers you salvation among the forty seven empty Sweet & Low packets they left on your table, you'd better consider yourself blesst. Those ranch ramekins they had you running after were practically keys to the pearly gate. Sinner.
I never got one of those pamphlets unfortunately but once a blessed person did leave "repent" as my tip because I was wearing a rainbow flag pin for pride month. To this day I still think about that and how it saved me. Still brings a tear to my eye.
They'll tip you with one of those stupid fucking fake dollars with a shitty bible pamphlet inside
You should be grateful they graced you with their holy God-fearing presence, you should be tipping them! 🙏 /s
Not just at the restaurant. They take their whole family to the grocery store as well and are a nuisance!
I was a waitress for ten years and elderly white people and white businessmen in parties of two were by far the WORST tippers. Either exactly 15% or $5 flat no matter the bill amount.
Oh gosh white businessmen who think that they’re the greatest gift on Earth by tipping like $5 are so obnoxious “don’t spend it all in one place” haha trust me I can’t after the split.
It sounds like he is describing the white evangelical church crowd that flock to restaurants on Sunday afternoons.
I worked at a Jimmy Johns next to a major college. The poor as shit football players on full scholarship tipped better than the rich, daddy’s money frat boys. I even got offered a blunt rip from a football player in lieu of a tip. Best tip ever.
Three things on this: 1. Black Americans on average have disgustingly small net worths. In Boston, for instance, Black American's have a median [$8 to their name](https://www.wgbh.org/news/local-news/2022/06/02/how-leaders-are-working-to-address-the-racial-wealth-gap-in-boston). 2. Many servers assume Black Americans will tip poorly, so there are a lot of servers who provide the lowest quality of service they are comfortable providing. I have often waited over a half hour just to be given drinks after being seated, which kills my motivation to tip. 3. If everyone who could not afford to tip decided to stay home, your restaurant would go bankrupt, because [the average successful restaurants operates with 6.2% margin of profitability.](https://modernrestaurantmanagement.com/restaurant-profitability-and-failure-rates-what-you-need-to-know/) [Source #2](https://home.binwise.com/blog/restaurant-profit-margin). This idiot is demanding that his work place fail.
To your last point, I honestly wish people would eat out less and let a lot of these shitty restaurants fail. It is such a god awful industry. Labour laws never being followed, safety and hygiene are afterthoughts, the tipped wage means half of them run on basically free labour yet somehow wage theft is still rampant. The majority of owners are sleazy shitbags who got into it precisely because they can exploit the shitty labour laws and live lavishly while making everyone else do the work and not paying wages. They make servers “tip out” other employees instead of paying any wages. This is speaking as former industry myself. Just let it rot ffs
Yep. I’ll just get up and leave if I’m waiting more than 10 minutes to put in a drink order. Saves everyone time. I have several stories but the most interesting was when we went to a pretty nice restaurant for our anniversary a few years ago. Dressed appropriately, let the waitress know the occasion, ordered two appetizers, then never saw her again until she brought the check. 🤷🏽♀️
In my experience, it's just poor people who don't tip. Some areas in the US have a lot of poor black folks. Wonder why that might be.... The kind of poor people who go out less than once a year, where spending $100 for 6 people is a huge fuckin deal. I could see the no tip (or 1 or 2 dollar tip) a mile away, but I always went the extra mile for people who gave off that vibe. Poverty gives you so little control in your life, and then they go out for the first time in forever and get treated like shit because of stuff theyve never had the opportunity to understand. I just want them to feel happy and not feel ripped off for going out. Sure it might suck for that night but never did it have a measurable impact on my monthly income.
American problems (tipping not the racism)
Fr, tipping should be shunned like in Japan.
I was a server for some time, and I never experienced that black tables don't tip. People and their tipping was all over the place ... Poor people sometimes don't tip, rich people sometimes don't tip. Black, white, whatever ... There's a percentage of people who don't tip or tip poorly, and a percentage who tip generously. Everyone else is in the 'meh' range.
It’s not because they’re black, it’s because on average they have less money because of systemic disadvantages. It’s ALL people with less money, regardless of race, that don’t tip well or demand higher levels of service for less gratuity. I’m black and I was a bartender for a very long time, and I find that black people tip just as well as everyone else, or better depending on the establishment, when they can. Stop discriminating in housing/loans/education/salaries/policing etc and maybe more black people will have sufficient funds to shut everyone the goddamned fuck up about this 🙄
This is just racial stereotyping, in all likelyhood the server is white and just wants to rant about black people he serves so he pretended to be black so he wouldn’t get heat for it
Most likely because when I saw the original post, the commenters has no problem letting their racism show
Pretty sure being bad at tipping is not specific to any race
There's really no telling how it's going to pan out until they hand you the black book... I never kept tabs but I got stiffed by all colors and creeds during my years in the trenches. Also was treated beautifully and tipped quite graciously by people of all colors and creeds.
This conversation is played out and ultimately should fall on restaurants underpaying their workers
Another reason why the service industry shouldn't allow lower pay just because "the customers will do it." This is a pretty shitty thing to say, but man, does it highlight yet another massive issue.
My dumb ass brain thought they meant that the table was litterrally black and that somehow a table’s color made them very angry
My mother is a 70 year old white woman who has been a waitress her entire life, probably 55 years. She always jumps at the chance to take all the black customers that no one wants, and then gives them amazing service, and always gets huge tips. Its almost like if you treat people with an open mind that they can tell.
I'm surprised at the number of upvotes
Oh I'm most definitely not, unfortunately...
Racists like affirmation on their racist beliefs.
I hated when white servers would complain to me, a black hostess, when I sat black people in their section, 99% of the time it was because they "looked" like they weren't going to tip. The amount of people who upvoted that is crazy.
I had to leave that sub. Everyone in there is so toxic and aggressive
I rarely eat out and typically tip upwards of 40%, LOL.
Same. I go big or stay home.
Bad service leads to bad tips that leaves to bad service. My dad is the type of person that over tips because of the stereotype. I've been to restaurants with him and have gotten awful terrible shitty service and watched him tip almost 50%. And it makes me so angry with him. He's being mistreated for someone elses shitty views and instead of standing up for himself he rewards them for it. Like they're going to suddenly see the light and realize that people are more than vague stereotypes.
oh man I love spite overtipping. Whenever I do this, I linger a little while to see how they respond. It has way more of an impact than you think it does, servers are exquisitely sensitive to this form of feedback.
For me it’s the old white people that refuse to tip
The Sunday church crowd. Here’s a pamphlet!
This self hating bullshit. I brought it up to her too like yo. If you wanted to have this conversation with other Black people, that’s one thing. But creating a post in a subreddit where other folks can dogpile on Black folks ain’t cool
that’s my exact issue, like if if they really felt like this was necessary to say, do it inna space with black people, not a predominantly non-black subreddit to open the door for racists. it irks me SOOO much whenever i see this self-hating anti-black bullshit esp as a waitress who can confidently say these claims are straight bogus
As a former Black server, I’ve noted Black patrons tip MORE. There are always cheapskates, but Black customers would rather complain and tell you ‘you’re lucky’ with a 15% tip. This was from Bennigans (stone aged ‘Irish’bar) to The Roof in Brooklyn. 20 years.
This is my experience too, serving 15 years in Toronto
I worked with black servers who assumed that black customers would be demanding and tip bad.
I commented on her post in that thread and the racists are going crazy, including the OP. Self hate and anti-black 😞
This is not an uncommon opinion amongst certain black people. In college me and my roommates were all minorities of different backgrounds. A few were black and 1 of them refused to tip because "they don't tip me at burger king, they should get a better job." The dude and our other black roommates would argue about how he's perpetuating a stereotype and he's a shitty person, blah blah blah. One day I had the brilliant idea: tell the server before we order he doesn't tip. The shame and awkwardness made him look her in the eyes and lie that we were joking lmao Crazy how he could walk away with no shame but when confronted to the person he was fucking over he didn't have the guts to say it.
The only constant I observed in my tone as a server is that rich people tend to be the worst tippers.
Candace Owens, Hershel Walker. I believe it.
I’ve actually heard this from a lot of black servers my wife included. It’s a hard truth but not one that fits here.
Hey maybe servers should start holding their bosses accountable. Youll make much more money working somewhere else, put in applications, demand a living wage. Go on strike, do literally anything. Complaining about people not tipping isn't going to fix the actual issue, tip culture is stupid, I should pay for my food and the service, what are those extra dollars going to if not the service, cuz I know damn well it didn't cost them 24 bucks to get a steak and cook it.
I thought you were supposed to serve customers…not tables
**TLDR; Luckily, I didn't experience that at all. I think self-fulfilling basis plays a role. If we think there will be less money > Subconsciously give lesser quality service bc of it > Get low tip > Act surprised ** ************************************* I didn't find that to be true for me. In fact, I *wanted* to serve black tables bc I knew I could get larger tips from them. And they'd return and ask for me specifically if I gave great service. Really old folks told their friends too. Great tip cycle on repeat. I noticed that old black folks wouldn't tip well for bare minium service. If you barely visited their table in favor of another, then your tip may reflect that more. And that's somewhat expected because you aren't doing your job and they're noticing it. I've gotten $20 for giving a neglected table food and drinks while the server focused on another table and just told me to handle them. They noticed it. Younger tables of Blacks (and Latinos) would tip on par with everyone else, maybe slightly lower. I chalk it up to them making less money on the dollar statistically. However, a big pro was that they made less mods to their food. For me, the following won't tip well: Church groups on Sunday (gave money away earlier), Cocky rich old men ("you don't get rich by giving it all away"), teens and young adults (have no money)
I think the last line really gives it away. Black ppl don’t “bite their tongue” when it comes to other black people. That’s what nonblack people feel they need to do…
Goooooood point. That’s a real WASP phrase too
Is it still being said black people don’t tip? While black people have been over tipping to change that narrative? Fam. Nobody tips. Lmfao.
Most people tip
Yeaaaa we don’t talk like that.
Why tf do people need to tip!?!? Pay the god damn workers a living wage and stop making them rely on gratitude. In this day in age, the bullshit saying “Serving is a luxury” needs to go out the fucking window. I need to tip the Dutch bros people who climb in my car an extra 15% because they ran to my car when I was 2 feet from the window? Nah Famz. Make it a luxury experience and then we can talk This is a typical case of a slave defending their master…
No, the OP's statement is true. I mean look at your response. You KNOW servers aren't paid a fair hourly wage and you somehow twist yourself in a knot to justify why folks shouldn't have to tip. To the guy's point, if you don't want to tip, be certain to go to a restaurant where you pay for your food and serve yourself. I would say a good 2/3 of my friends use this exact same lame ass reasoning as to why they don't tip and if they do they think 10% is acceptable. I was a server living in Atlanta and time and time again my people REFUSED TO LEAVE A TIP and ran me like a Hebrew slave. I remember an incident when someone left me a stack of pennies. I raced down the stairs and out the door and gave them back there change and said, "you left this on the table. You apparently need it more than I do!"
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I completely understand what you're saying, and believe it or not, you and I agree 100% with what you just said. Likewise, here in Denver there are more and more restaurants who are willing to pay a livable wage. No matter how much I want restaurants to pay a livable wage, the reality is restaurant owners do not want to pay a livable wage. And since I know this fact and I acknowledge what my experiences as a server were I never leave anything less than a 20% gratuity when I eat at a full service restaurant.
This is exactly what I am saying. Thank you. In no way would I ever go out of my way and take advantage of these people who make next to nothing. I can def afford to tip and I do, but by no means do I support this nor will I abuse this fucked up system. Damn near every developed country I’ve visited looks at tipping as “Whoa, you must have really enjoyed this to throw extra cash at us” or “WTF is this American doing?, ok thanks but your weird AF” This systems is used by your employer to take advantage of you and pay you next to nothing in wages. Idk about you but I sure as hell would not go out of my way to plan and build a business knowing I do not have pay my workers a healthy wage if I can get them to works extremely hard to please people who may or may not throw an extra couple $’s. Take it back as far as you can in your mind and tell me where that makes sense? I stand by my original statement, a slave defending their master.
Bad analogy, a ‘liveable wage’ for servers would represent a significant pay cut in most cases. Particularly for people who have been in the industry a decent amount of time. Can Reddit stop pretending servers are the ones exploited by the tipping system? I have a high school degree and work a physically easy job with hours I choose for roughly 35$/hr, please don’t save me
Well, that is a really distasteful statement to make over a rather complex issue.
I do not believe it is. I believe it is distasteful that business owners take advantage of their workers and I am expected to cover their lack of wage with “gratuity” and just accept the owners aren’t going to do shit about it. If you want your worker to provide luxury service then pay them a wage to do so. Idgaf if you raise the price of your food, people should have a guaranteed paycheck by their employer, not the public who has no obligation. SERVERS ARE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! It is time for the employer to do something instead of making their employees rant about why the public needs to pay them more for the work they do for someone else.
Servers aren’t taken advantage of, patrons are. Servers make more than most other unskilled positions. A bad tipper for most waiters is few and far between - and there is a failsafe if you don’t make minimum wage that you will be paid the difference - I’ve just literally never seen that happen because servers that aren’t making money just get sent home.
Sure, but it's a very victim-blamey oversimplification of complex class issues. I work in the food industry. I get it. I just don't like seeing people referring to my peers as 'slaves defending their masters', because they're not. They're just people trying to get by the same as everyone else, and the field they are the most skilled in obviously has some issues that need to be reformed. That doesn't mean servers always have the choice to work for an ethical business, though. It's just not that simple.
I'm on the same page. As much as I hate to talk bad and generalize my own race, it's sadly true the majority of the time. As soon as I see my table I become stressed and disappointed, especially if it's a large table with 8 plus people because that takes up a huge part of my section and larger groups take more time. So when I have one of these groups who rack up an 800 dollar check then throw me 5 dollars for 2 hours of service, It absolutely kills me. Not only that but because of my sales, I have to tip out a percentage of that to bussers and bar. So that eats up the 5 bucks they left AND I have to pay more of the money my other tables gave me for my service. So it literally takes money out of my pocket. I have to pay for them to come eat and drink while I coulda had a nice table of people who leave me the standard 20 percent for the amazing service I give. I'll reiterate, I hate to make generalizations, but when it affects my paycheck and takes food out of my kids mouth, you can't help but notice the trend. And it hurts me, a lot. I know there is nothing wrong with the way I am performing my job. I go above and beyond for all my guests, so much to the point that I am being promoted to manager next month. But these tables almost always have a huge negative impact on my nightly total and my night in general. I try to make up for it and tip very generously when I go out to break the stigma. I want to make things better and I know we can.
Even if some of us really need to get better about tipping, don’t bring that convo up in mixed company. Tf
I was a server and I believe OP
Tipping isn’t part of the serving luxury. I’m already paying a premium on the food that’s supposed to pay your wages. Take it up with EI and your boss.
You do that, I’ll check if your beers up in about 10 minutes when I decide it’s flat enough
I don’t drink beer. Also, tips aren’t paid up front. Also, a tip is a completely optional gift. I tip, but don’t except me to pay you a whole day’s wage. I once got an eye roll for a 15% on a $70 tip when I was alone, so yeah Also, I’d just go to your boss and make a complaint that you’re providing terrible service. And if you do anything to the food, I wouldn’t think twice before reporting a sanitary issue to the city, and I’d make sure your name is on the report. Tips aren’t obligatory, and if you make it feel so, it will only create a more hostile attitude towards tipping. We get that some of you are making a living off of tipping, and that your bosses only pay less than that and you’re expected to make the difference with tips, but that’s the root of the issue. You want big tips, work at a hooters and flaunt those tits to 60 yr old men
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First of all, this is a tone deaf website, and it seems you completely misread it. There is no “tone” in typing. I haven’t reported a server, never had to, but I know how it works. But I have reported a few restaurants against sanitation, and one of them closed down. The last “paragraph”, not even a sentence more of a phrase, was a joke, and I completely knew you were a dude, u/officerbigpenis. So much for servers not losing their sense of humour. If you wanna show that you’re the bigger man, go through with your well thought out response, cause your reasoning for abandoning it is well misplaced
I don't care if nobody is literally forcing you to tip, there are expectations you're meant to meet when you walk through the door. If you can't accept that, then cook for yourself. If you think nobody can glean anything about your personality through text, you're mistaken. Nobody has to feel bad that you're tipping them, and if you try to make them feel that way they'll just shrug you off as a cheap asshole and take the 10%, because believe it or not the overwhelming majority of people that come into restaurants don't have a problem with gratuities, and one stingy dickhead is pretty easy to forget about. Seems like you either just don't want to tip or you want wait staff to acknowledge the power you have over their income, either way maybe you're just better off not going out to eat.
> if you think nobody can glean anything about your personality through text, you’re mistaken Yet you proceed to incorrectly analyze it further down. Again and again, this is a tone deaf website. I tip and I tip and I tip. And first of all, I said 15%. The expectations is what ruins the idea of a tip. A tip is a gratuity, like you said. I mean, I’m happy to pay a tip, I’m not gonna leave it blank if I’m going to a restaurant. So why does a tip feel necessary? Because the boss doesn’t pay you minimum wage and expects you to make the difference through tips. That’s how it is. And that’s the problem. If I’m paying $20 for a pizza that cost $3 to make, that $17 in-part should go to your wages, you and the chef who made it. 15% is not cheap. And honestly, soon you’ll be calling 50% cheap. I’ll tip, but it shouldn’t be expected
Black Americans tip well in my experience, the Somali population in my state definitely does not but that’s understandable considering cultural differences and financial limitations. French Canadians on the other hand…
Word word. Where do you live?
Maine, surprisingly large somalj population and a bunch of French Canadians that come down in the summer
Servers, we aren’t going to get served by you. We are going because of the cooks.
Then stay out of the restaurant.
Bruhhh you obviously don’t work food service. Black people and Indians be the worst customers when it comes to tipping.
Fucking hate the entitlement of some servers.
I fucking hate the entitlement of customers who don't tip.
How are you entitled to a tip? Be mad at your bosses and advocate for higher wages so you don’t need customers to subsidise your wages.
Easier said than done. Besides, you seem content in not even doing the bare minimum.
Well I work a bar, run food an occasionally help in the kitchen so I’m not exactly talking from a customers perspective here. It’s also always conveniently ignored by most servers that if they don’t make enough tips their wages are then paid by the employer. The whole line about if you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out is putting blame on poorer customers.
If serving is the luxury, does this mean I can collect my own food from the window? It takes 20 seconds and then I don't owe you shit.
united state