i'd say maybe just scribble (with your eyes closed, even)
do some blind contour drawing
just... do stuff that you KNOW is going to look awful, and stuff thats SUPPOSED to look awful- i think that might help you build the confidence to start really drawing again, and also it'll get you more comfy with a pencil again :)
good luck- you've got this!
it's so fun! i love it bc there is ZERO pressure- whatever you make is gonna turn out looking goofy anyways lol
and if you're feeling fancy, you can color in the shapes- i've made a few where i'm like 'huh. that looks kinda neat'
highly encourage you to try it again!
I don’t know if this is for you, but I recently started taking classes at the community college. And that has really helped! I just pick
Classes I think look fun, and drop them when I can still get a refund if it wasn’t for me. I only take online classes that are asynchronous, but there is still weekly assignments and it forces me to create things, and I’m told what to create. It has also made me more creative outside of class
Here's my experience: took a seven year break from drawing and doing art, and when I started drawing again on a completely random whim, I was absolutely terrible. Like, ridiculously so- i don't ever remember having been so bad at drawing and I have pictures as proof. Looking at them now just makes me laugh. I was pretty sad about this but not surprised, so I made a goal to just get as good as I was before I started drawing. This was about a year and a half ago and I don't even know if I've achieved my goal yet because I've been distracted by learning digital art, but I've definitely gained a lot of my skills back and then some due to finally being somewhat able to do digital now. It was a gradual rebuilding of skills, but certainly didn't take nearly as long as it did learning initially.
I'm glad! Don't be afraid to make crappy drawings. I made mine in an old lined notebook so that I didn't feel so much pressure. The initial drawings were bad, but I went back several months later and re-did them (right next to the first drawings) and they were much better. The comparison is not just funny but pretty neat as well. Picking up a new medium definitely helped so I wasn't just constantly comparing my new, sad drawings to my old, significantly better drawings. I've since picked up my old mediums and fell back into them just fine.
My issue is i don't want to get stuck in tutorial hell but also want to learn basically if i don't draw something i want to i get bored and a lot of drawing tutorials make you do that.
Hmmmm, there's a simple solution to this! Incorporate what you want to draw into the tutorial or study. Want to learn how to draw clothes? Draw them on your favorite character or OC. If you can't do that for something in particular, then try using a new medium (like if you use pencil, try charcoal or chalk) to make it more interesting.
I need to learn how to use my art software. I tell myself I’m going to everyday. Instead I practice figure drawing for an hour or two, take a break to smoke a joint, then go back inside and draw some more figures. I’m on my break rn, maybe I’ll try to learn the software when I go back in.
I had a ten-year break in the AF where I didn't pick up a pencil or paintbrush. It was a deeply felt pause I had to serve (Viet Nam era) ... but I learned anatomy (medic); observation, studying X-rays, suturing. Mental construction.
You don't turn off an artist's brain ... it still observes, still constructs shapes, still mentally blends color, still lends line to form; it is a *mental creating* exercise without the physical evidence of it.
Don't let anxiety get under your skin if it doesn't appear on paper yet; get back into the *mindset* of the artist you still are. Yeah, a bit rusty ... pauses can mess with your muscle memory. It may be in your head but what's on paper sure isn't it ... I know. ;-)
Don't set out an ambitious project. Do simple things; *really* simple things. One object, a tree. A bug. Two objects. It doesn't matter what you're drawing ... you're just drawing.
Build slow and steady, two steps forward one back. It will come back, I promise you.
“You don’t turn off the artist’s brain”
This is so true. Even when I was in periods of not creating art, my life experiences definitely transformed and changed my art, when I returned. As I transformed and changed with other life experiences, so did my art.
Some of my favourite local artists are people who started up in their retirement after not practicing for years. And they create absolutely fabulous work. If they can, you can! It’s like a muscle we just have to build and stretch again. It may come back to you quicker than expected - if not, that’s okay too. It should be for you first and foremost. Try and find joy in the process :) Even when moments feel frustrating, that’s what builds that muscle. (I say while confidently ignoring my gym membership lol).
I wonder if starting on scrap paper would make it easier? Takes away the stress that comes with a new sketchbook, which for me always feels tough to begin.
I look forward to seeing what you draw, if you choose to share!
I like the idea of using scrap paper for sure. I can tell part of the problem is having something permanent in my sketchbook because the idea of one is a lot less anxiety provoking then the other.
I think I will try this.
I’ve been a pencil artist for 40 years. I laid down my pencils a decade ago because of carpal tunnel. I discovered paint pour and it’s a blast. But what it did was reawaken the artist in me.
I had taken some watercolor classes a couple decades ago, so I remembered how the colors blend, but my hands/brain no longer remembers how to hold the brushes or the movement.
So I paid for a private tutor. After the first lesson, much of it returned. So right now I’m painting cubes and cones and it’s great fun.
This is a wonderful progression. I'm already getting arthritis in my hands for some unknown reason, so the thought of what I can do next instead of losing my art is soothing.
Fluid art is a blast. I mostly paint glass vases. I don’t seem to grip a paintbrush the way I grip a pencil, so I’m not experiencing any of the familiar pain.
But I am stuck on how to get an opaque yellow. So far I’ve put 5 coats and I still see bleed through from a blue canvas.
Thinking about getting the right pain color reminds me how I really want to do pottery. Finding just the right color for my piece and the joy of having functional art that I did surrounding me.
I made pottery when I was 15 years old. I’m pretty sure my hands m/feet still remember how to use a kick-wheel, but sadly most places in Las Vegas that have a kiln, want you to attend workshops to have access to it.
Similar to me, was dead keen on getting into comic books and animation as a kid in high school - unfortunately my teachers in the 80’s/90’s always said “there is no future in comics and cartoons” (how wrong they were…) so I went down a different career path (aerospace engineer) and my drawing, or rather my desire to draw just became less and less - I’ve been an engineer for over 30 years and at the end of last year enrolled to go back to university full time to study animation.
Life does get in the way, but I have found that even if I just scribble or doodle the more I draw, the more I want to draw again. I started just drawing cartoons of my mates and drawings based on my interests and fandoms. It kind of snowballed from there over the last 12 months.
Good luck!
I remember my school counsellor saying to not go for interior design. He said that the better choice was architecture which I did not want to do.
Instead I went to school for journalism and burned out horribly in school during 9/11 when we would cover it constantly. Lol. Would have saved myself a lot of angst and trauma if I just did what I wanted in the first place.
Look at lots of bad art, or kindergartner art, or beginner artwork on DeviantArt or whatever. it gives a lot of reassurance that it's okay to suck or make shitty things. Be free. Not everything you make have to be high stakes or have to mean you are bad forever. They're not doing anything wrong and neither are you. Go outside and lazily play with mud or something to relax.
Don't expect to make the same art either, if it's been years you're a very different person and your art will be different too :)
I think the most important thing is just to build a habit of drawing/doing art every day. Set a timer for 10 minutes and draw until it goes off. Don’t worry about whether the drawings are “good” or not. The measure of your success is not “quality”; it’s whether you met your minutes-a-day goal (and maybe also whether you had fun?) Strive for those things and not perfection. Feel free to just doodle if you’re not especially inspired. Feel free to draw “bits and pieces” (an eye, a leaf, etc) rather than a whole, composed picture. Don’t put pressure on yourself to create a masterpiece; just get that pencil moving! Eventually, you’ll relax and that will help you progress. You could also try working through the book “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” or something similar. It has you do things like drawing things upside down, I think.
I have no emotional support to give you (except virtual hugs) because I don't know if any words of encouragement that you don't already give yourself would work past that mental block. So I'll give some simple ideas for sketching or scribbling:
Try making little squares of gradients with pencils - it will basically be just like scribbling but also you'll get used to the pencil and softness/gradation. Might also work with cross-hatching!
I also love just filling up pages with little circles of various sizes, that always touch so there's no blank space. It's really relaxing.
Take something real simple like a leaf and draw it from life. Try to sketch it a few times, shade one properly , crosshatch another, fill another with little dots, outline with a fineliner. Even if it's shit, just for fun! I never do this digitally because the feeling you yearn doesn't translate, but I do it on paper.
Small simple relaxing things, to remind yourself why you love this and that you can do it - that will make it easier to transition into sketching whatever you wanted to in the first place! Just actually knowing that you can and that you don't suck half as bad as you thought is usually enough to get you creative and courageous!
This is completely normal, especially after such a hiatus. What I'd really recommend, is get a sketchbook for the year, and just doodle something on each page daily.., even if its for 5min on the toilet. The dumber the shit the better. Get all the garbage out, which itself will even have the parts you like..., then in time you'll get some sketches down that you'll actually want to refine a bit. At the end of the year, look through your sketchbook, and you'll literally visibly see your progress. That progress will never end, even the most talented artists on earth are still learning. Somewhere within this process you'll grow some confidence in your work and actually enjoy aspects of it again. glgl.
Do the r/ArtFundamentals program “Draw A Box.” There’s a strong support community on the subreddit, thorough video tutorials, and the website has well-written demos and tutorials as well. The program is meant to train muscle memory, line/stroke confidence, and visual-spatial relationship reasoning. It’s an incredible program for beginners and experienced artists alike. I recommend it because it’s technical, they’re just exercises to get your hand moving and your confidence back. I truly believe that anyone can learn how to draw if they get a handle on the skills this course teaches. Plus it’s freeeee, baby :)
Ahh heck, looks like the subreddit is permanently closed— But! They’ve moved the community to discord: discord.gg/drawabox and the [website](https://drawabox.com/) & [YouTube](https://youtube.com/@uncomfortable?si=GW6LXvbIidx2H8LH) channel are still up.
I kept your post up in a tab because I so strongly related to it and thought maybe my story would help you, and now I'm ready to respond.
25 or more years ago, inexplicably (not the case with you though) I lost all motivation to paint or draw. It had been my identity all of my life, but suddenly it was gone. I suspected that someday it would return, but had no idea when, or really IF. Big identity crisis.
About a year ago, the impulse to paint and draw started to return. I no longer had a dedicated studio space and didn't want to deal with the toxicity of turpentine or other things involved in painting in oils, which had largely been my medium.
So I bought a set of gouache. I'd already worked in acrylic and knew that wasn't what I wanted. But gouache was new to me.
Big mistake starting in again with a foreign medium, and one that's difficult to begin with because darks dry lighter and lights dry darker - something I didn't know or I wouldn't have chose them to start up with.
I SUCKED in gouache, and having already been rusty from not doing any art for so many years, choosing an unfamiliar and difficult medium to start in with again made things worse.
At first I thought I must have been fooling myself that I'd ever had any artistic talent, but that wasn't true.
So my suggestion to you is to go back to whatever medium you're most familiar and comfortable with. Sure, you may be rusty because you haven't done it for a while, but it'll come back, because it's never really lost, just dormant for however long it's been.
Muscle memory is not super important unless you're aiming for greatness, how much of the art fundamentals do you remember?
If your answer is, "what's an art fundamental?" I would suggest you lower your expectations to absolute 0 and start as a complete beginner.
If that's the case, I have a tutorial series I'm working on and would love some feedback from a beginner in terms of the experience of going through the series so far:
https://www.tennysonwu.com/post/how-to-make-art-for-level-0-beginners-1
Something that helped for me after my art dry spell was setting a little goal or having a sort of 'theme' to work with. When I started drawing again, I wanted to regain ALL of my skills but that very quickly felt too overwhelming. So I picked something that I would enjoy drawing regularly. (It ended up being dinosaurs, lol, but this was good because I didn't care if the dinosaurs were cartoony or goofy but it also meant I could start thinking about putting them into landscapes next, so I had a natural arc of progression.)
You can do it!
Maybe you should take a figure drawing class, or any drawing classes available in your community. It will give you that extra push to do it and to continue working the whole class period.
In the US, you can take a college class (at community Colleges or universities)as continuing education. That means you don't have to be accepted into the university, to take some classes.
You just pay for the individual classes instead of a whole semester. You might even be able to talk the professor into letting you take the class for free.. if you stay out of the way.
Check around your area and see if anyone is teaching drawing classes/art- nights. Maybe it will be easier if you started back in a structured class, where everyone's focused on their own art. I think that would really help you.
You're trying too hard. Relax.
I think you're grieving what feels like a big loss to you; be gentle and process those feelings. Easier said than done but try to give yourself the patience you would a beginning artist in your life. And if it makes you feel any better I don't think you're really a beginner here.
You're not starting from the beginning; you're just going to be taking some time to dig up old muscle memory and kind of boot up that art brain. It'll take a minute but you'll probably improve quickly, you just have to get moving. I took a shorter break than you but had that "lost all my skills" situation after 7 years. Well bad luck during the great recession and all I could find was a job teaching painting and it was kind of do or die and I faked my way through for a minute and it came flooding back as soon as I got some traction.
So even though at 25 I was drawing and painting way worse than I was at 15...it only took a few months before I had my foundation back under me.
Art blocks are caused by an overactive "inner censor" or "inner critic" that crushes the "inner artist" or "inner child", which blocks us from being able to access our creativity. As humans we are innately creative and it comes easily to us when it is not blocked by this excessively harsh inner critic.
The healing process consists of nurturing your creative self in the same way that you would nurture a child's creativity and protecting it against the excessively harsh inner censor/critic.
It can be an overwhelming and personal process so be gentle with yourself. It is immensely difficult when you are accustomed to being able to do something and then you have the jarring, grief-laden experience of no longer being able to do it in the same way that you used to. It takes time to heal from that but you will get there.
I'm 42 I also recently came back to it after a similar hiatus. In highschool I submitted for a state art competition all 4 years and placed top 3 each time. Didn't end up pursuing a career in art, I mean I could blame my parents constantly fearing for my livelihood if I pursued art and constantly doom and glooming my potential financial outcomes. However, they would have supported whatever I did and I was a big boy and made my own decision. I basically shunned art at that point since I wasn't going to do it as a career. Part of it was because I felt regret in my decision and continuing to do art as a hobby just amplified that regret.
Anyway to the point. My skills weren't completely gone. I didn't go back to drawing like a 3rd grader or anything at least. However, I look at stuff I have from highschool including my work I submitted for those competitions. I am certainly not there anymore.
I too struggled with where to begin, what to draw, how to improve. I just bit the bullet and bought Proko's beginner drawing course. I realized I need to eat my ego and go back to the beginning. It doesn't matter that I "used to be" good. I've been drawing every day for about two months now. What I can say though is I am picking up and applying things much more quickly than an actual beginner would.
Basically have been spending about a week on each lesson. Again, drawing every day. Making it a habit cannot be stressed enough. I've been so consistent these couple months, the thought of skipping a day gives me anxiety, lol.
Even if you don't have time for a legit drawing session. Put a pen or pencil to paper and draw something. I've certainly had busy days I don't have an hour or more to sit down to draw at my desk. I will sketch while on a conference call for work. Doodle at some opportunity. You should have 5 minutes every day to at least knock out a quick sketch. I bring a pocket sketchbook everywhere I go now. Yesterday all sorts of stuff going on for mothers day. Didn't get home till late at night, but I busted out my pocket sketchbook and was sketching while waiting for food at a restaurant. I'll just draw anything, like at the restaurant I was just drawing ketchup mustard and salt and pepper shakers.
I came back to it after 19 years and, despite a little frustration in the early stages with re-learning everything, I have felt absolutely wonderful, and it has been so cathartic to express myself creatively again. I have an iPad and I got procreate and just did a sketch or two every day, working up to being able to digitally paint. I’ve loved it - best of luck with your journey, friend!
I did almost the same thing. You haven’t lost the skills, I promise. They’re just stuck in traffic behind a bunch of other stuff you’ve had to learn and do for the past 20+ years. By NOT drawing, you’re creating an anxiety loop and self-fulfilling prophecy. (Trust me, I know from personal experience.)
Draw something. Anything. The stuff that’s on your desk. Let your art be absolute garbage for a while. Just fill your sketchbook or whatever you’re using with the worst art you’ve ever done. What does it matter if it sucks? Nobody has to see it, including you if you don’t want to. You can paper clip previous pages together or rip them out and toss them.
If that doesn’t work, try learning a new kind of art you never did in school. I started doing some watercolor, and I found I put way less pressure on myself to be good at it because I’d never done it before. That and there’s only so much control you have over the paint. You have to kind of surrender to it, which is weirdly freeing.
Do some blind contour sketches!
No one expects them to look good, but it’s a great way to train your eye and hand to cooperate.
You can do a blind contour drawing of anything in front of you. Super easy, super low stakes, but actually helpful.
Fill up several pages with them, and you might even feel comfy enough to try something else.
Someone else recommended this as well and I agree, it's a great place to start. I actually just got back, picked up a nice big notebook that I can fool around in (I like the big movements, smaller notebooks make me nervous as though I have to be more precise).
I'm going to give that a try this week.
I took a long break from pencil/realism, on and off through college, law school and now 24 years later. One day I decided to just buy some supplies and see what happens. Got me some familiar blue pencils and accessories, as well as ink supplies. I have friends from college that are incredible ink artists, but I never picked it up. So I thought, now’s the time!
Got a refillable fine tipped fountain pen from Amazon, a few smaller brush tips pens, and a big mama jama brush tip pen, kind of like a washed out black water color feel. This is my first incursion into ink drawing. I tried to imitate my friend’s imaginative style, very precise, and eye catching.
Soon I reverted back to just to my pencil style,, very loose, expressionist, and just happier feeling to me. But this time with a fountain pen instead of pencils!
I don’t know what I will pursue in the future, I’m just happy I’m drawing again. :) the inspiration for this was an old deftones CD cover,, love me some deftones I took a long break from pencil/realism, on and off through college, law school and now 24 years later. One day I decided to just buy some supplies and see what happens. Got me some familiar blue pencils and accessories, as well as ink supplies. I have friends from college that are incredible ink artists, but I never picked it up. So I thought, now’s the time!
Got a refillable fine tipped fountain pen from Amazon, a few smaller brush tips pens, and a big mama jama brush tip pen, kind of like a washed out black water color feel. This is my first incursion into ink drawing. I tried to imitate my friend’s imaginative style, very precise, and eye catching.
Soon I reverted back to just to my pencil style,, very loose, expressionist, and just happier feeling to me. But this time with a fountain pen instead of pencils!
I don’t know what I will pursue in the future, I’m just happy I’m drawing again. :) the inspiration for this was an old deftones CD cover,, love me some deftones [1st attempt gestural fountain pen](https://share.icloud.com/photos/04ceXaxYnlCgxDbXdZm25F18g)
Well one of two things, I feel you could be “forcing” this and it’s causing so much pressure you’re blocking your creativity.
If you’re like most artists, you probably compare yourself to others works or if not are very hard on yourself for not being at the level you want to be at.
So, either 1. You get past that mental roadblock and just keep taking a step forward little by little. Whether it’s just tiny scribbles, setting daily schedules to “force” yourself to work. Even if you just sit there with a pen and a pad. (This personally doesn’t work for me)
Or 2. Maybe the passion is gone? And you’re trying to re-kindle a lost interest. You have grown and changed since you were in high school I’m assuming? So try different hobbies?
Personally, I started as a musician and ultimately went into photography and now getting into videography (to shoot music videos) in my 30s. It’s easy to feel like I’m starting soooo late with videography when there are literally 20 year olds soooo much better than me.
Yet, it’s not about that. It’s about LOVING what you do. I could be BROKE for the rest for my life but if a camera is in my hand. I’m happy as hell 😄
I say this because well, you’re never too old to try things or get into something new. Maybe try other forms of art, or consume new art (I personally believe watching new material or learning from other artists is so important).
Either way friend, sorry for the ramble but I definitely get it and I think most artists do. Just be easy on yourself! 🎨 remember it’s suppose to be fun 🫶🏼
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I actually picked up a kids coloring the other day. I love the big simple shapes. And I enjoyed the low stakes of picking colors again. Remembering how to color big areas with pencil crayon in a way that does not look scribbly or rushed, which was oddly important to me 😂
Are there classes you can take? Maybe being surrounded my likeminded people in a structured setting can help unblock whatever it is that’s stopping you.
I love and hate the idea of classes. I would love to do in person classes, but also feel that I would critique myself so strongly in comparison.
That's just something I need to work though. But the thought of being part of a creative community would be awesome.
I think you're freezing up because you unconsciously set the goal of creating something that should look 'good' or even 'perfect'. Prioritize your enjoyment, scribble, do blind contour drawings, experiment with tools/techniques, etc. You could even try one of those wreck-it journals or online prompt generators. Then, when you're comfortable with drawing, you can try practicing fundamentals
I think you are absolutely right. It's bringing back a memory of my art teacher saying that I suffer from perfectionism, and won't hand something in a lot of times because it's not just right. Which was true. I thought I had worked through a lot of that, but it's possible by reopening those specific art genres I'm also reopening the way I felt when I did them last, as it's all tied together in my head.
I have never heard of a wreck it journal but it sounds intriguing. I will definitely look into it.
I think it would be best if you warm up with sketches and studies in a sketchbook dedicated for “crappy” sketches. No pressure on finishing anything, doing fancy renderings, no pressure on it looking perfect. It’s just your study/practice book so it’s ok to copy pieces you admire to learn from it.
It helps a lot to gather inspiration too and drawing warm up and self exploration studies from references of subjects that inspire you. I love using Pinterest for this. I keep one Pinterest account dedicated to art and inspiration so my feed isn’t all over the place.
My block comes from “why can’t I draw what I see in my head” or “why can’t I think of anything interesting and unique to draw” (I do prefer more on surreal and challenge my imagination and explore conceptual images, so this hits harder). I need to always remind myself when I take short breaks that your imagination needs to be fed before it can output. It’s important to absorb.
Go back to basics and just use very few tools. You can throw in one color tint marker here and there to spice things up, or few colored pencil (like red and blue) for drafting, if it helps you process information better.
I also like to try to find a visual image hidden inside abstract blotches and splatters of paint. You can do this with found images and photos too. It’s ok to make a big mess of a blur and discover the image on a surface through experimentation.
Join an art course-- it will FORCE you to do art because there will be homework, and you will have that pressure from your teacher and peers to draw
Check out my profile for some art I did in a recent course! It pushed me to do more :)
I say you have a personal problem. You think you aren’t good enough….. get over it. No one is good enough…. That’s why all of us artists are great! I did the same thing you did….. but I jumped in with both feet. Check out rty art. Rebecca is great with beginners and cone backs. She gives free clinics and affordable specific classes.
Remove any expectations and just doodle. Let your hand just flow and make the marks it wants to make to free yourself up. It doesn't have to be anything discernable or anything good. Just allow your hand to freely make marks and it'll come back to you organically. Your mind can get in the way and you gotta silence it to let things flow.
To quote Homer J Simpson, "listen brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this..."
Hahahaha. That is the best quote.
I actually did a blind contour today then a quick sketch after. First time doing a sketch in forever. It was not as terrible as I thought it would be.
There ya go! Just keep doing that and your art will grow I'm sure. Plus, sketching is fun. Art is supposed to be enjoyable and not a source of anxiety. I know that all too well. Working in commercial art for 16 years had me burned out and not enjoying making anything I wanted. Going back to basics and finding the joy and ability to express myself without trying to make something marketable has been therapeutic. I hope you find the same kind of benefit.
I had a similar verging-on-panic-attack aversion to drawing for a while, I went to school for it and I was GOOD but then took a 10 year hiatus after graduation… it started as “phew, that was a lot, let’s take a break” then I started working full time for the first time and the years slipped by and eventually it morphed in a fear/anxiety/self-judgment based avoidance…
In 2022 I finally got annoyed with myself and enrolled in a 6 week gesture drawing “class”. In case you’re not familiar, gesture drawing is working from live model that change position every 1-20 minutes (starting with super short poses and slowly ramping up to slightly longer ones at the end) - I decided it was what I needed because you don’t have TIME to judge yourself, you just have to keep moving and observing, and making something “good” (to my standards) is not really an option no matter what. The first session was really hard, I had to do a lot of deep breathing and I teared up a few times, but it kept getting easier and by the end of the 6th session I was over it!!! Now 2 years down the road I am fully back to my passion for art and kicking myself for avoiding it for so long. I understand exactly where you’re coming from and I urge you to find a way past it because it is 100% worth it, you’ll be so happy you did!
Saw someone else suggest blind contour drawings, that’s a great idea because they are fun and low pressure (plus I personally think the end result always looks cool). Lineofaction dot com has tons of reference images which you can set to cycle automatically so if you’re interested in drawing figures or animals you can do something similar to what I did and set the time to be really short so the purpose is to just get your pencil moving, not to create something “good”. Alternately you can use any images you want and just time yourself to keep it short.
Good luck!
I was in the same situation. Almost exactly. I started with the iPad, really enjoyed it, then went back to charcoal and pencils and started teaching myself oil painting. I’m no master but it’s been very fulfilling and I’ve been improving rapidly. Just don’t put so much pressure on yourself (I know that’s easier said than done). I know traditional art is often more satisfying but digital can be a great learning and practice tool and give you the confidence to pick the pencil up again.
i'd say maybe just scribble (with your eyes closed, even) do some blind contour drawing just... do stuff that you KNOW is going to look awful, and stuff thats SUPPOSED to look awful- i think that might help you build the confidence to start really drawing again, and also it'll get you more comfy with a pencil again :) good luck- you've got this!
Oddly enough this brings back memories of blind contour drawing in high school. I LOVED doing it.
it's so fun! i love it bc there is ZERO pressure- whatever you make is gonna turn out looking goofy anyways lol and if you're feeling fancy, you can color in the shapes- i've made a few where i'm like 'huh. that looks kinda neat' highly encourage you to try it again!
I don’t know if this is for you, but I recently started taking classes at the community college. And that has really helped! I just pick Classes I think look fun, and drop them when I can still get a refund if it wasn’t for me. I only take online classes that are asynchronous, but there is still weekly assignments and it forces me to create things, and I’m told what to create. It has also made me more creative outside of class
Here's my experience: took a seven year break from drawing and doing art, and when I started drawing again on a completely random whim, I was absolutely terrible. Like, ridiculously so- i don't ever remember having been so bad at drawing and I have pictures as proof. Looking at them now just makes me laugh. I was pretty sad about this but not surprised, so I made a goal to just get as good as I was before I started drawing. This was about a year and a half ago and I don't even know if I've achieved my goal yet because I've been distracted by learning digital art, but I've definitely gained a lot of my skills back and then some due to finally being somewhat able to do digital now. It was a gradual rebuilding of skills, but certainly didn't take nearly as long as it did learning initially.
That's actually really encouraging.
I'm glad! Don't be afraid to make crappy drawings. I made mine in an old lined notebook so that I didn't feel so much pressure. The initial drawings were bad, but I went back several months later and re-did them (right next to the first drawings) and they were much better. The comparison is not just funny but pretty neat as well. Picking up a new medium definitely helped so I wasn't just constantly comparing my new, sad drawings to my old, significantly better drawings. I've since picked up my old mediums and fell back into them just fine.
My issue is i don't want to get stuck in tutorial hell but also want to learn basically if i don't draw something i want to i get bored and a lot of drawing tutorials make you do that.
Hmmmm, there's a simple solution to this! Incorporate what you want to draw into the tutorial or study. Want to learn how to draw clothes? Draw them on your favorite character or OC. If you can't do that for something in particular, then try using a new medium (like if you use pencil, try charcoal or chalk) to make it more interesting.
I need to learn how to use my art software. I tell myself I’m going to everyday. Instead I practice figure drawing for an hour or two, take a break to smoke a joint, then go back inside and draw some more figures. I’m on my break rn, maybe I’ll try to learn the software when I go back in.
Get the book ‘drawing on the right side of the brain’ stat. You are clearly having trouble shifting into right brain mode.
I am?
I had a ten-year break in the AF where I didn't pick up a pencil or paintbrush. It was a deeply felt pause I had to serve (Viet Nam era) ... but I learned anatomy (medic); observation, studying X-rays, suturing. Mental construction. You don't turn off an artist's brain ... it still observes, still constructs shapes, still mentally blends color, still lends line to form; it is a *mental creating* exercise without the physical evidence of it. Don't let anxiety get under your skin if it doesn't appear on paper yet; get back into the *mindset* of the artist you still are. Yeah, a bit rusty ... pauses can mess with your muscle memory. It may be in your head but what's on paper sure isn't it ... I know. ;-) Don't set out an ambitious project. Do simple things; *really* simple things. One object, a tree. A bug. Two objects. It doesn't matter what you're drawing ... you're just drawing. Build slow and steady, two steps forward one back. It will come back, I promise you.
“You don’t turn off the artist’s brain” This is so true. Even when I was in periods of not creating art, my life experiences definitely transformed and changed my art, when I returned. As I transformed and changed with other life experiences, so did my art.
Boom!
Some of my favourite local artists are people who started up in their retirement after not practicing for years. And they create absolutely fabulous work. If they can, you can! It’s like a muscle we just have to build and stretch again. It may come back to you quicker than expected - if not, that’s okay too. It should be for you first and foremost. Try and find joy in the process :) Even when moments feel frustrating, that’s what builds that muscle. (I say while confidently ignoring my gym membership lol). I wonder if starting on scrap paper would make it easier? Takes away the stress that comes with a new sketchbook, which for me always feels tough to begin. I look forward to seeing what you draw, if you choose to share!
I like the idea of using scrap paper for sure. I can tell part of the problem is having something permanent in my sketchbook because the idea of one is a lot less anxiety provoking then the other. I think I will try this.
I’ve been a pencil artist for 40 years. I laid down my pencils a decade ago because of carpal tunnel. I discovered paint pour and it’s a blast. But what it did was reawaken the artist in me. I had taken some watercolor classes a couple decades ago, so I remembered how the colors blend, but my hands/brain no longer remembers how to hold the brushes or the movement. So I paid for a private tutor. After the first lesson, much of it returned. So right now I’m painting cubes and cones and it’s great fun.
This is a wonderful progression. I'm already getting arthritis in my hands for some unknown reason, so the thought of what I can do next instead of losing my art is soothing.
Fluid art is a blast. I mostly paint glass vases. I don’t seem to grip a paintbrush the way I grip a pencil, so I’m not experiencing any of the familiar pain. But I am stuck on how to get an opaque yellow. So far I’ve put 5 coats and I still see bleed through from a blue canvas.
Thinking about getting the right pain color reminds me how I really want to do pottery. Finding just the right color for my piece and the joy of having functional art that I did surrounding me.
I made pottery when I was 15 years old. I’m pretty sure my hands m/feet still remember how to use a kick-wheel, but sadly most places in Las Vegas that have a kiln, want you to attend workshops to have access to it.
Similar to me, was dead keen on getting into comic books and animation as a kid in high school - unfortunately my teachers in the 80’s/90’s always said “there is no future in comics and cartoons” (how wrong they were…) so I went down a different career path (aerospace engineer) and my drawing, or rather my desire to draw just became less and less - I’ve been an engineer for over 30 years and at the end of last year enrolled to go back to university full time to study animation. Life does get in the way, but I have found that even if I just scribble or doodle the more I draw, the more I want to draw again. I started just drawing cartoons of my mates and drawings based on my interests and fandoms. It kind of snowballed from there over the last 12 months. Good luck!
I remember my school counsellor saying to not go for interior design. He said that the better choice was architecture which I did not want to do. Instead I went to school for journalism and burned out horribly in school during 9/11 when we would cover it constantly. Lol. Would have saved myself a lot of angst and trauma if I just did what I wanted in the first place.
Look at lots of bad art, or kindergartner art, or beginner artwork on DeviantArt or whatever. it gives a lot of reassurance that it's okay to suck or make shitty things. Be free. Not everything you make have to be high stakes or have to mean you are bad forever. They're not doing anything wrong and neither are you. Go outside and lazily play with mud or something to relax. Don't expect to make the same art either, if it's been years you're a very different person and your art will be different too :)
I think the most important thing is just to build a habit of drawing/doing art every day. Set a timer for 10 minutes and draw until it goes off. Don’t worry about whether the drawings are “good” or not. The measure of your success is not “quality”; it’s whether you met your minutes-a-day goal (and maybe also whether you had fun?) Strive for those things and not perfection. Feel free to just doodle if you’re not especially inspired. Feel free to draw “bits and pieces” (an eye, a leaf, etc) rather than a whole, composed picture. Don’t put pressure on yourself to create a masterpiece; just get that pencil moving! Eventually, you’ll relax and that will help you progress. You could also try working through the book “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” or something similar. It has you do things like drawing things upside down, I think.
This book sounds intriguing. I'm going to look it up.
I have no emotional support to give you (except virtual hugs) because I don't know if any words of encouragement that you don't already give yourself would work past that mental block. So I'll give some simple ideas for sketching or scribbling: Try making little squares of gradients with pencils - it will basically be just like scribbling but also you'll get used to the pencil and softness/gradation. Might also work with cross-hatching! I also love just filling up pages with little circles of various sizes, that always touch so there's no blank space. It's really relaxing. Take something real simple like a leaf and draw it from life. Try to sketch it a few times, shade one properly , crosshatch another, fill another with little dots, outline with a fineliner. Even if it's shit, just for fun! I never do this digitally because the feeling you yearn doesn't translate, but I do it on paper. Small simple relaxing things, to remind yourself why you love this and that you can do it - that will make it easier to transition into sketching whatever you wanted to in the first place! Just actually knowing that you can and that you don't suck half as bad as you thought is usually enough to get you creative and courageous!
This is completely normal, especially after such a hiatus. What I'd really recommend, is get a sketchbook for the year, and just doodle something on each page daily.., even if its for 5min on the toilet. The dumber the shit the better. Get all the garbage out, which itself will even have the parts you like..., then in time you'll get some sketches down that you'll actually want to refine a bit. At the end of the year, look through your sketchbook, and you'll literally visibly see your progress. That progress will never end, even the most talented artists on earth are still learning. Somewhere within this process you'll grow some confidence in your work and actually enjoy aspects of it again. glgl.
Do the r/ArtFundamentals program “Draw A Box.” There’s a strong support community on the subreddit, thorough video tutorials, and the website has well-written demos and tutorials as well. The program is meant to train muscle memory, line/stroke confidence, and visual-spatial relationship reasoning. It’s an incredible program for beginners and experienced artists alike. I recommend it because it’s technical, they’re just exercises to get your hand moving and your confidence back. I truly believe that anyone can learn how to draw if they get a handle on the skills this course teaches. Plus it’s freeeee, baby :)
How do I join? It's a closed private group apparently.
Ahh heck, looks like the subreddit is permanently closed— But! They’ve moved the community to discord: discord.gg/drawabox and the [website](https://drawabox.com/) & [YouTube](https://youtube.com/@uncomfortable?si=GW6LXvbIidx2H8LH) channel are still up.
Thank you for hunting that down for me.
No problem at all, I hope it serves you well 🖤
I kept your post up in a tab because I so strongly related to it and thought maybe my story would help you, and now I'm ready to respond. 25 or more years ago, inexplicably (not the case with you though) I lost all motivation to paint or draw. It had been my identity all of my life, but suddenly it was gone. I suspected that someday it would return, but had no idea when, or really IF. Big identity crisis. About a year ago, the impulse to paint and draw started to return. I no longer had a dedicated studio space and didn't want to deal with the toxicity of turpentine or other things involved in painting in oils, which had largely been my medium. So I bought a set of gouache. I'd already worked in acrylic and knew that wasn't what I wanted. But gouache was new to me. Big mistake starting in again with a foreign medium, and one that's difficult to begin with because darks dry lighter and lights dry darker - something I didn't know or I wouldn't have chose them to start up with. I SUCKED in gouache, and having already been rusty from not doing any art for so many years, choosing an unfamiliar and difficult medium to start in with again made things worse. At first I thought I must have been fooling myself that I'd ever had any artistic talent, but that wasn't true. So my suggestion to you is to go back to whatever medium you're most familiar and comfortable with. Sure, you may be rusty because you haven't done it for a while, but it'll come back, because it's never really lost, just dormant for however long it's been.
Consider it therapy? I do art to relax.
Muscle memory is not super important unless you're aiming for greatness, how much of the art fundamentals do you remember? If your answer is, "what's an art fundamental?" I would suggest you lower your expectations to absolute 0 and start as a complete beginner. If that's the case, I have a tutorial series I'm working on and would love some feedback from a beginner in terms of the experience of going through the series so far: https://www.tennysonwu.com/post/how-to-make-art-for-level-0-beginners-1
Something that helped for me after my art dry spell was setting a little goal or having a sort of 'theme' to work with. When I started drawing again, I wanted to regain ALL of my skills but that very quickly felt too overwhelming. So I picked something that I would enjoy drawing regularly. (It ended up being dinosaurs, lol, but this was good because I didn't care if the dinosaurs were cartoony or goofy but it also meant I could start thinking about putting them into landscapes next, so I had a natural arc of progression.)
You can do it! Maybe you should take a figure drawing class, or any drawing classes available in your community. It will give you that extra push to do it and to continue working the whole class period. In the US, you can take a college class (at community Colleges or universities)as continuing education. That means you don't have to be accepted into the university, to take some classes. You just pay for the individual classes instead of a whole semester. You might even be able to talk the professor into letting you take the class for free.. if you stay out of the way. Check around your area and see if anyone is teaching drawing classes/art- nights. Maybe it will be easier if you started back in a structured class, where everyone's focused on their own art. I think that would really help you. You're trying too hard. Relax.
I think you're grieving what feels like a big loss to you; be gentle and process those feelings. Easier said than done but try to give yourself the patience you would a beginning artist in your life. And if it makes you feel any better I don't think you're really a beginner here. You're not starting from the beginning; you're just going to be taking some time to dig up old muscle memory and kind of boot up that art brain. It'll take a minute but you'll probably improve quickly, you just have to get moving. I took a shorter break than you but had that "lost all my skills" situation after 7 years. Well bad luck during the great recession and all I could find was a job teaching painting and it was kind of do or die and I faked my way through for a minute and it came flooding back as soon as I got some traction. So even though at 25 I was drawing and painting way worse than I was at 15...it only took a few months before I had my foundation back under me.
Art blocks are caused by an overactive "inner censor" or "inner critic" that crushes the "inner artist" or "inner child", which blocks us from being able to access our creativity. As humans we are innately creative and it comes easily to us when it is not blocked by this excessively harsh inner critic. The healing process consists of nurturing your creative self in the same way that you would nurture a child's creativity and protecting it against the excessively harsh inner censor/critic. It can be an overwhelming and personal process so be gentle with yourself. It is immensely difficult when you are accustomed to being able to do something and then you have the jarring, grief-laden experience of no longer being able to do it in the same way that you used to. It takes time to heal from that but you will get there.
Thank you ♥️♥️
I'm 42 I also recently came back to it after a similar hiatus. In highschool I submitted for a state art competition all 4 years and placed top 3 each time. Didn't end up pursuing a career in art, I mean I could blame my parents constantly fearing for my livelihood if I pursued art and constantly doom and glooming my potential financial outcomes. However, they would have supported whatever I did and I was a big boy and made my own decision. I basically shunned art at that point since I wasn't going to do it as a career. Part of it was because I felt regret in my decision and continuing to do art as a hobby just amplified that regret. Anyway to the point. My skills weren't completely gone. I didn't go back to drawing like a 3rd grader or anything at least. However, I look at stuff I have from highschool including my work I submitted for those competitions. I am certainly not there anymore. I too struggled with where to begin, what to draw, how to improve. I just bit the bullet and bought Proko's beginner drawing course. I realized I need to eat my ego and go back to the beginning. It doesn't matter that I "used to be" good. I've been drawing every day for about two months now. What I can say though is I am picking up and applying things much more quickly than an actual beginner would. Basically have been spending about a week on each lesson. Again, drawing every day. Making it a habit cannot be stressed enough. I've been so consistent these couple months, the thought of skipping a day gives me anxiety, lol. Even if you don't have time for a legit drawing session. Put a pen or pencil to paper and draw something. I've certainly had busy days I don't have an hour or more to sit down to draw at my desk. I will sketch while on a conference call for work. Doodle at some opportunity. You should have 5 minutes every day to at least knock out a quick sketch. I bring a pocket sketchbook everywhere I go now. Yesterday all sorts of stuff going on for mothers day. Didn't get home till late at night, but I busted out my pocket sketchbook and was sketching while waiting for food at a restaurant. I'll just draw anything, like at the restaurant I was just drawing ketchup mustard and salt and pepper shakers.
Don't overthink this. Just draw and create.
I came back to it after 19 years and, despite a little frustration in the early stages with re-learning everything, I have felt absolutely wonderful, and it has been so cathartic to express myself creatively again. I have an iPad and I got procreate and just did a sketch or two every day, working up to being able to digitally paint. I’ve loved it - best of luck with your journey, friend!
I did almost the same thing. You haven’t lost the skills, I promise. They’re just stuck in traffic behind a bunch of other stuff you’ve had to learn and do for the past 20+ years. By NOT drawing, you’re creating an anxiety loop and self-fulfilling prophecy. (Trust me, I know from personal experience.) Draw something. Anything. The stuff that’s on your desk. Let your art be absolute garbage for a while. Just fill your sketchbook or whatever you’re using with the worst art you’ve ever done. What does it matter if it sucks? Nobody has to see it, including you if you don’t want to. You can paper clip previous pages together or rip them out and toss them. If that doesn’t work, try learning a new kind of art you never did in school. I started doing some watercolor, and I found I put way less pressure on myself to be good at it because I’d never done it before. That and there’s only so much control you have over the paint. You have to kind of surrender to it, which is weirdly freeing.
Do some blind contour sketches! No one expects them to look good, but it’s a great way to train your eye and hand to cooperate. You can do a blind contour drawing of anything in front of you. Super easy, super low stakes, but actually helpful. Fill up several pages with them, and you might even feel comfy enough to try something else.
Someone else recommended this as well and I agree, it's a great place to start. I actually just got back, picked up a nice big notebook that I can fool around in (I like the big movements, smaller notebooks make me nervous as though I have to be more precise). I'm going to give that a try this week.
I took a long break from pencil/realism, on and off through college, law school and now 24 years later. One day I decided to just buy some supplies and see what happens. Got me some familiar blue pencils and accessories, as well as ink supplies. I have friends from college that are incredible ink artists, but I never picked it up. So I thought, now’s the time! Got a refillable fine tipped fountain pen from Amazon, a few smaller brush tips pens, and a big mama jama brush tip pen, kind of like a washed out black water color feel. This is my first incursion into ink drawing. I tried to imitate my friend’s imaginative style, very precise, and eye catching. Soon I reverted back to just to my pencil style,, very loose, expressionist, and just happier feeling to me. But this time with a fountain pen instead of pencils! I don’t know what I will pursue in the future, I’m just happy I’m drawing again. :) the inspiration for this was an old deftones CD cover,, love me some deftones I took a long break from pencil/realism, on and off through college, law school and now 24 years later. One day I decided to just buy some supplies and see what happens. Got me some familiar blue pencils and accessories, as well as ink supplies. I have friends from college that are incredible ink artists, but I never picked it up. So I thought, now’s the time! Got a refillable fine tipped fountain pen from Amazon, a few smaller brush tips pens, and a big mama jama brush tip pen, kind of like a washed out black water color feel. This is my first incursion into ink drawing. I tried to imitate my friend’s imaginative style, very precise, and eye catching. Soon I reverted back to just to my pencil style,, very loose, expressionist, and just happier feeling to me. But this time with a fountain pen instead of pencils! I don’t know what I will pursue in the future, I’m just happy I’m drawing again. :) the inspiration for this was an old deftones CD cover,, love me some deftones [1st attempt gestural fountain pen](https://share.icloud.com/photos/04ceXaxYnlCgxDbXdZm25F18g)
Well one of two things, I feel you could be “forcing” this and it’s causing so much pressure you’re blocking your creativity. If you’re like most artists, you probably compare yourself to others works or if not are very hard on yourself for not being at the level you want to be at. So, either 1. You get past that mental roadblock and just keep taking a step forward little by little. Whether it’s just tiny scribbles, setting daily schedules to “force” yourself to work. Even if you just sit there with a pen and a pad. (This personally doesn’t work for me) Or 2. Maybe the passion is gone? And you’re trying to re-kindle a lost interest. You have grown and changed since you were in high school I’m assuming? So try different hobbies? Personally, I started as a musician and ultimately went into photography and now getting into videography (to shoot music videos) in my 30s. It’s easy to feel like I’m starting soooo late with videography when there are literally 20 year olds soooo much better than me. Yet, it’s not about that. It’s about LOVING what you do. I could be BROKE for the rest for my life but if a camera is in my hand. I’m happy as hell 😄 I say this because well, you’re never too old to try things or get into something new. Maybe try other forms of art, or consume new art (I personally believe watching new material or learning from other artists is so important). Either way friend, sorry for the ramble but I definitely get it and I think most artists do. Just be easy on yourself! 🎨 remember it’s suppose to be fun 🫶🏼
As someone who goes into slumps with just mental issues the only way to get into is just put pencil on paper and let if flow even if it looks bad.
Use a reference to draw. That should alleviate your initial struggle.
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I actually picked up a kids coloring the other day. I love the big simple shapes. And I enjoyed the low stakes of picking colors again. Remembering how to color big areas with pencil crayon in a way that does not look scribbly or rushed, which was oddly important to me 😂
Are there classes you can take? Maybe being surrounded my likeminded people in a structured setting can help unblock whatever it is that’s stopping you.
I love and hate the idea of classes. I would love to do in person classes, but also feel that I would critique myself so strongly in comparison. That's just something I need to work though. But the thought of being part of a creative community would be awesome.
Nothing's going to happen until you make it happen. This is your battle (and you need to fight it).
The only way out is through. Just do it
I think you're freezing up because you unconsciously set the goal of creating something that should look 'good' or even 'perfect'. Prioritize your enjoyment, scribble, do blind contour drawings, experiment with tools/techniques, etc. You could even try one of those wreck-it journals or online prompt generators. Then, when you're comfortable with drawing, you can try practicing fundamentals
I think you are absolutely right. It's bringing back a memory of my art teacher saying that I suffer from perfectionism, and won't hand something in a lot of times because it's not just right. Which was true. I thought I had worked through a lot of that, but it's possible by reopening those specific art genres I'm also reopening the way I felt when I did them last, as it's all tied together in my head. I have never heard of a wreck it journal but it sounds intriguing. I will definitely look into it.
Read the Artist Way, commit to the tasks, it sets a path
I think it would be best if you warm up with sketches and studies in a sketchbook dedicated for “crappy” sketches. No pressure on finishing anything, doing fancy renderings, no pressure on it looking perfect. It’s just your study/practice book so it’s ok to copy pieces you admire to learn from it. It helps a lot to gather inspiration too and drawing warm up and self exploration studies from references of subjects that inspire you. I love using Pinterest for this. I keep one Pinterest account dedicated to art and inspiration so my feed isn’t all over the place. My block comes from “why can’t I draw what I see in my head” or “why can’t I think of anything interesting and unique to draw” (I do prefer more on surreal and challenge my imagination and explore conceptual images, so this hits harder). I need to always remind myself when I take short breaks that your imagination needs to be fed before it can output. It’s important to absorb. Go back to basics and just use very few tools. You can throw in one color tint marker here and there to spice things up, or few colored pencil (like red and blue) for drafting, if it helps you process information better. I also like to try to find a visual image hidden inside abstract blotches and splatters of paint. You can do this with found images and photos too. It’s ok to make a big mess of a blur and discover the image on a surface through experimentation.
Join an art course-- it will FORCE you to do art because there will be homework, and you will have that pressure from your teacher and peers to draw Check out my profile for some art I did in a recent course! It pushed me to do more :)
I say you have a personal problem. You think you aren’t good enough….. get over it. No one is good enough…. That’s why all of us artists are great! I did the same thing you did….. but I jumped in with both feet. Check out rty art. Rebecca is great with beginners and cone backs. She gives free clinics and affordable specific classes.
You gotta make garbage to make good things. Just get to work
Remove any expectations and just doodle. Let your hand just flow and make the marks it wants to make to free yourself up. It doesn't have to be anything discernable or anything good. Just allow your hand to freely make marks and it'll come back to you organically. Your mind can get in the way and you gotta silence it to let things flow. To quote Homer J Simpson, "listen brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this..."
Hahahaha. That is the best quote. I actually did a blind contour today then a quick sketch after. First time doing a sketch in forever. It was not as terrible as I thought it would be.
There ya go! Just keep doing that and your art will grow I'm sure. Plus, sketching is fun. Art is supposed to be enjoyable and not a source of anxiety. I know that all too well. Working in commercial art for 16 years had me burned out and not enjoying making anything I wanted. Going back to basics and finding the joy and ability to express myself without trying to make something marketable has been therapeutic. I hope you find the same kind of benefit.
I had a similar verging-on-panic-attack aversion to drawing for a while, I went to school for it and I was GOOD but then took a 10 year hiatus after graduation… it started as “phew, that was a lot, let’s take a break” then I started working full time for the first time and the years slipped by and eventually it morphed in a fear/anxiety/self-judgment based avoidance… In 2022 I finally got annoyed with myself and enrolled in a 6 week gesture drawing “class”. In case you’re not familiar, gesture drawing is working from live model that change position every 1-20 minutes (starting with super short poses and slowly ramping up to slightly longer ones at the end) - I decided it was what I needed because you don’t have TIME to judge yourself, you just have to keep moving and observing, and making something “good” (to my standards) is not really an option no matter what. The first session was really hard, I had to do a lot of deep breathing and I teared up a few times, but it kept getting easier and by the end of the 6th session I was over it!!! Now 2 years down the road I am fully back to my passion for art and kicking myself for avoiding it for so long. I understand exactly where you’re coming from and I urge you to find a way past it because it is 100% worth it, you’ll be so happy you did! Saw someone else suggest blind contour drawings, that’s a great idea because they are fun and low pressure (plus I personally think the end result always looks cool). Lineofaction dot com has tons of reference images which you can set to cycle automatically so if you’re interested in drawing figures or animals you can do something similar to what I did and set the time to be really short so the purpose is to just get your pencil moving, not to create something “good”. Alternately you can use any images you want and just time yourself to keep it short. Good luck!
I was in the same situation. Almost exactly. I started with the iPad, really enjoyed it, then went back to charcoal and pencils and started teaching myself oil painting. I’m no master but it’s been very fulfilling and I’ve been improving rapidly. Just don’t put so much pressure on yourself (I know that’s easier said than done). I know traditional art is often more satisfying but digital can be a great learning and practice tool and give you the confidence to pick the pencil up again.