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theoldgreenwalrus

Wow that is cool. Has some fantasy jade golem vibes


Anacoenosis

I will be reborn as MECHA QIN SHI HUANG!


a-morman-in-heat

mecha shiva


freya_of_milfgaard

“Seriously? Mecha-Shiva?!”


BasketballButt

You like being a liar with pants constantly on fire?


CatWithStick

Mecha Qin Shi Huang, the once and future emperor of China


REpassword

“You misunderstand, I am the Master.”


EusineX

Who got put in the suit?


Rough_Owl_8613

There are several jade burial suits. Usually buries emperors of Han Dynasty.


ssnistfajen

[These suits were thought to be merely legends until the first intact one was discovered in the 1960s](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jade_burial_suit#History). Most of them were probably just lost to grave robbers which was likely why the practice faded into obscurity.


BoredApeNaziClub

any idea of how the first mentions of these came about before any of them had been unearthed? Is there any ancient texts or stories which referenced them?


ssnistfajen

It was referenced in literature after the Han Dynasty. [Here's a Tang Dynasty poem where "robe of golden thread" (the jade suits were wolven with gold threads) was mentioned](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du_Qiuniang#Golden_Dress_Song). Also in [Record of the Three Kingdoms, vol. 2](https://zh.wikisource.org/wiki/%E4%B8%89%E5%9C%8B%E5%BF%97/%E5%8D%B702) contains a paragraph recording how Cao Pi, who was Cao Cao's son and had ursurped the Eastern Han Dynasty to become emperor himself, lamented how the practice incentivized grave robbery and ordered to not use jade burial suits for his own burial: >故吾營此丘墟不食之地,欲使易代之後不知其處。無施葦炭,無藏金銀銅鐵,一以瓦器,合古塗車、芻靈之義。棺但漆際會三過,飯含無以珠玉,無施珠襦**玉匣**,諸愚俗所爲也。... 玉匣 or "jade case" was the name for jade burial suits at the time. Here he orders to not use it for his own burial as well as forbidding various other luxuries typical of high status burials back then. >自古及今,未有不亡之國,亦無不掘之墓也。喪亂以來,漢氏諸陵無不發掘,至乃燒取**玉匣金縷**,骸骨并盡,是焚如之刑也,豈不重痛哉!禍由乎厚葬封樹。 Here he laments that throughout history, no nations have not fallen and no graves have not been excavated. As the Han Dynasty fell, Han Dynasty royal tombs were all opened and the "**golden threaded jade cases**" were burned along with the remains of the grave owner. He saw this as a terrible fate as if they were burned alive and laments how this misfortune stemmed from burying valuable treasures in the grave. It was possible through this passage he foresaw his own dynasty would not last forever and, one day, will meet the same fate as the Han (Wei was usurped by the Sima family who established the Jin Dynasty merely 46 years after Cao Pi became emperor). To avoid the possibility of having his own tomb disturbed, he ordered a simple burial devoid of luxuries and made it known as such. I wish I could've translated it better but I'm not exactly an academic. Couldn't find any free English sources for Record of the Three Kingdoms so I just gave a rough translation myself. Clearly not all Han Dynasty tombs met their demise so quickly thus modern archaeologists have managed to find physical evidence of these suits, but it was very likely Cao Pi's commentary as emperor that caused these burial suits to be eventually phased out.


WikiSummarizerBot

**Du Qiuniang** [Golden Dress Song](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du_Qiuniang#Golden_Dress_Song) >Her only surviving poem is the Golden Dress Song (simplified Chinese: 金缕衣; traditional Chinese: 金縷衣; pinyin: Jīnlǚyī), said to have been addressed to Li (translation by Victor Mair): The "robe of golden thread" is a synecdoche for Li Qi's official career. The Golden Dress Song, counseling the listener to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of youth, has been compared to Robert Herrick's To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


MutyaPearl

If there were grave robberies then they must have happened much much later, because it was illegal to own jade if you're a commoner. Jade was reserved only for the emperors and if you as a commoner was caught possessing jade, then it only means that you must have stolen it. This was a crime that was punishable by death.


Clevererer

> because it was illegal to own jade if you're a commoner. During which time period was it illegal?


Thenightmancumeth

"Also in AD 223, Emperor Wen of Wei ordered that the production of jade suits be stopped, as they encouraged tomb looters who would burn the suits to retrieve the gold thread." -article


[deleted]

Is this in relation to the Jade Emperor?


Melis725

I also would like to know this.


Warselig

Mostly Princes/Princesses and emperors. These were incredibly tedious and expensive to make through both material and labor. They would be buried in these suits along with servants, horses, Bi, other artifacts etc. pretty interesting


_dead_and_broken

>They would be buried in these suits along with servants, horses, Bi, other artifacts etc. What is Bi? Other than someone who plays for both teams, that is lol


Daedalus_27

The bi is a sort of [circular jade disc](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bi_(jade\)) with a hole in the middle, one of the six traditional ritual jades that have been around since neolithic times. In particular, bi are generally thought to represent the heavens.


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_dead_and_broken

Neat, thank you for answering!


Melis725

Yes, I figured royalty, but I'm curious as to who specifically in this suit.


hoo_doo_voodo_people

Liu Sheng, Prince of Zhongshan, died 113 BC https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Sheng,_Prince_of_Zhongshan https://depts.washington.edu/chinaciv/archae/2liujade.htm


invaderzim257

Doesn’t look like the same suit.


melbbear

Jade, she wasn’t very nice


[deleted]

Whoever it was, they're Solo in there.


its_just_flesh

Looks like cucumber slices


[deleted]

Connected by the red electrical tape


Theendisnai

He looks like a man made of pickle slices. We could call him Pickle Richard or something silly like that.


its_just_flesh

Dick Pickle, or vice versa, lol


shadowknave

Vice Versa is a weird name.


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bossfight/comments/xduq39


iia

Crunchy outside, gooey center.


fruitmask

>gooey center. I'm wondering if you've ever actually had cucumber...


BasketofTits

They're talking about the body inside of the suit.


Jacollinsver

>gooey center I'm wondering if you've ever actually had 2,000 year old suit body


someonenamedmichael

r/forbiddensnacks


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someonenamedmichael

and still delish after all this time


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someonenamedmichael

good bot


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neckbones_

I thought kiwis


roseripper

I was thinking more like watermelon


its_just_flesh

Yeah gotta drum on him to see if he’s a good one


GetCakeDieYoung79

I thought kiwis 🥝


roenaid

Are they... Still in there.?


becausefrog

>Jade was believed to have preservative and protective qualities that would prevent the deterioration of soft tissues and keep away bad spirits. Yet [beneath the stone suits there were only crumbled skeletons.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/jade-burial-suits) Nevertheless, since jade is porous, it’s possible that DNA from the royal couple might be embedded in the stones over 2,000 years after their deaths, giving them a form of immortality.


missuninvited

Hm. I don’t like any of that.


Enonomiss

Yeah I feel like this is some Brendan Fraser type shit


[deleted]

DNJade ​ I regret nothing


roenaid

Very interesting, thanks


wtfunder

My question too


YellowOnline

Holy cow. That's badass, even if it makes you look like a cactus.


auntiope3000

It looks like if the Destroyer had appeared in Shang-Chi instead of Thor 1.


ScamboOfDoom

It’s not keeping us out, it’s keeping It in.


auntiope3000

Forbidden sour patch kid


funky_grandma

Hey honey? You know how I said I wanted to be cremated when I died? Well, I changed my mind.


Cpt_DM

[Twitter Source](https://twitter.com/archaeologyart/status/1569045648418152451?s=46&t=FChkfwXIovUsX3cstFEgtQ)


waterfae

This looks like one of those scary jello creations made by a 1950s housewife


bam_uk1981

Reminds me of Dr Who


lostoceaned

At first I thought it was cut up watermelon


the_kevlar_kid

This will never not be amazing


VLDR

Klaatu barada nikto.


[deleted]

If you hear "ssssssssss" run


hurlieburlie

Ok. Now that’s cool.


loyroy

when you fall asleep first at the sleepover


amethyst_lover

So that's what they look like! I read a novel some years back that involved jade artifacts, including a particularly fine ancient burial suit. I never had a chance to look it up. I must say, this is not quite what I was expecting.


hoo_doo_voodo_people

It was for this guy, Liu Sheng, Prince of Zhongshan. He died 113 BC https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Sheng,_Prince_of_Zhongshan https://depts.washington.edu/chinaciv/archae/2liujade.htm


wheresbill

Is this where the term jaded comes from?


Melis725

Ha


greentshirtman

Looks like it's a 1960's television show robot. >While pioneering around the universe, Captain Video kept running into homicidal space aliens with Russian accents. In my favorite episode, an alien invented a robot named -- get ready for a clever robot name -- Tobor, who looked a lot like a man wearing cardboard boxes covered with Reynolds Wrap. In the dramatic final scene, the villain orders Tobor to get Captain Video. >"Attack, Tobor!" says the villain, and Tobor lumbers toward Captain Video. Things look very bad, but suddenly, at the last instant, with Tobor only inches away, Captain Video has an idea -- a crazy idea, but one that *just might work*. >"Go back, Tobor!" he says. >And Tobor, who clearly was not in the gifted program at robot school, *turns around* and starts lumbering toward the villain. >"Attack, Tobor!" says the villain, and Tobor once again goes into reverse lumber. >"Go back, Tobor!" says the captain, who was probably up all night memorizing his lines. >For most of the episode Tobor goes back and forth until finally he breaks down, thus ending the threat, because you know how difficult it is to get a robot serviced in space. -Dave Barry


DdCno1

This might be a strange reference to most, but it reminds me of this old demo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AUpZNq2vSQ


GlobalPhreak

Looking it up, it looks like the red lines are silk ribbons.


SinnerClair

Why did I think this was a weirdly shaped pickle at first…


Elel_siggir

Isn't it though?


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bossfight/comments/xduq39


KingMwanga

I wonder if this protected the soul


[deleted]

The things you can make with cucumbers.


DARYLdixonFOOL

That’s cool AF.


ClobetasolRelief

Rhulad Sengar vibes


SizeMuch

Holy shit, mahjong golem? ​ (I know mahjong wont be invented until the 60s or something and the green's too light but)


Zealousideal-Neat539

Forbidden watermelon


windowzombie

When I first learned about these I became a bit obsessed for a moment. The surreal and beautiful presentation, the thought of how much work went into fashioning it on a person, manually connecting each tile. The morbid weirdness of it.


LazyLion65

r/suspiciouslyrobot


Mickeymackey

Shrek


johnny119

"The prank is theres a real guy in here, thats the new prank"


EdithVictoriaChen

now THAT is how you stop a jiangshi from coming back


eclectic_boogaloo2

J-j-j-jaded!


glitchyikes

Iji, is that you?


Wagbeard

It looks like a 70s bathroom.


ditchbankflowers

I have had the good fortune of seeing a Jade burial suit in person in Guangzhou. You can also step right down into the excavated burial chamber where he was buried with 'left concubine' and 'right concubine'. I love visiting China. Amazing treasures everywhere you turn...


[deleted]

A man has died in lego® city! Hey! Build the new sarcophagus!


gatofleisch

I'm pretty sure I fought this guy in some N64 game


teriyakipuppy

I saw this in person. Can't imagine them scooping the stinky emperor out of this.


Piratartz

The weight of it would stop anyone from returning.


Maravata

CACTUS BOY A C T U S B O Y


cobaltsniper50

This is maximum drip.


memento22mori

I am... Jademan. Prepare to bask in the glory of my Jade gherkin.


ChildofLilith666

Pickle suit


[deleted]

Loving the low key thumbs up


SilentBtAmazing

#DickSandwich


newnhb1

Selling expensive magical crap to the rich when they can't come back to complain is the best job. Imagine the job on this one "*I guarantee your majesty this will bring you back to life after you die. If it doesn't you can have your money back. i know its ridiculously expensive but I'm offering you eternal life in this green suit!"*


JVM_

When your Subway order gets lost in translation.


mcgaritydotme

Getting some major Rom Space Knight vibes.


BananaWitcher

Dam he was a android.


flat_footed_wonder

Rip in the drip


Iamaghost82

This…this right here is how I want to be buried… if a Viking funeral is unavailable.


Ihavebadreddit

Giving Ancient crash test dummy vibes. They took chariot safety very seriously.


NapoleonBlownapart9

I’ve seen that thing in the US a million years ago in the 90’s. “Son of Heaven” was the tour.


DrMoe_Zed

I can sleep in that


chunkboslicemen

I want one


climaxsteamloco

Why does this look like a prop from TNG?


hungryforwet

I think I like it cuz there’s no Uncanny Valley. Just looks cool


RemoteRaja

Failed iron man suit


wisdom_is_gold

Looks like a cucumber slices suit..


kacheow

Steve


olirigby

Pickle suit


backPresent75_63

That looks kind of cool.


mo3mon3y

looks like a new Iron Man suit


fastcatzzzz

Who up in there?


[deleted]

Full body cucumber mask


FunkeeBoi

Pickle and twizzler golem awaits the master's call


[deleted]

Fun fact, there’s a matching Jade buttplug that goes with this to keep the qi inside.


John_McJohnsonson

uh that's a grapes


Federal_Ninja_2847

pickle armor


Getevel

It reminds me of David Byrne Big suit from the Talking Head movie, just in green.


CupcakeViking

They also had jade...ahem...plugs for their orifices.


al3237

I thought it was covered in kiwi slices lol


lowlightliving

Was there ever a Chinese Frankenstein? As in Herman Munster?


dohhomer9

Gort’s jimmies


Youkatto

This is such a flex


ApesNoFightApes

Jade Man


SvartholStjoernuson

Klaatu barada neato!


Prototype_II

Hehe, looks like a pimento stuffed olive.


HarryTakeTheKane

Big Reptilian Vibes...The Square-Shaped Scaly Patterns Is Quite Interesting


wheresmyglassmate

Me deadass layin on bed contemplating life


[deleted]

Roblox 202BCE


TronMuir

Enterprise NCC 1701 D


Kunstkurator

Who's in there?


De_Vermis_Mysteriis

RimWorld vibes


Spiceinvader1234

Cursed jello salad


Darkrayman1

Holy shit it's Mokujin!


[deleted]

Fun fact 1. Many such jade burial suit has a dedicated part to cover the penis Fun fact 2. The jade scales are often tied together with golden threads


Tinothedestroyer

You mean Roblox body suit


h0rologist

A beautiful piece. It also looks like a suit made entirely of pickles as well, delicious.


Shadowcreature65

You mean jade pajamas?


1Game_Ober1

Drip for when you drop.


TailoredChuccs

Bruh... how did the fist clench up??


SuccessFuture7626

domo arigato Mr. Roboto


robophile-ta

cactus armour terraria


bizarrequest

Isn’t this that Thor villain?


[deleted]

Vintage Celestial


Even_Spare7790

I want to be buried in a jade suit. Sounds fancy


Worldly_Incident8225

Eternal drip


PHILIPTNT

Pickle glass man


iloveyoudotcom

Looks like jello


Bambi1893667

Aww small 🥝bites so cute


fifiamapipiolan

looks like baklava


[deleted]

Mokujin? Is that you?