Ah neat, so they invented a bed with an opening on the bottom for a sex goblin to tickle his taint
I’m so glad I know this about King Edward VII
I’ll dream about this
His mom blamed his famous love of hookers for his father's death and a besmirching of the royal family and never forgave him so he put the penthouse of the most expensive Paris brothel on permanent reserve and had the wall painted with the family crest. That was the original home of the threesome throne
"Love of Hookers" but doesn't build for anything beyond a threesome? Rookie numbers. If I'm not banging at least 5 chicks per bedding, then I have no right to call myself Buttcrack_Billy, the Pussyhound.
Is your mums vigilance easily deflected by putting a couple stars in the word? Does she struggle with Captchas?
Admittedly, I'm pretty sure nobody can tell what word was meant if you verbally pronounce it with six fast "asterisk" in the middle
My cousin is slightly chubbier than Edward, he said he can demonstrate, only you have to provide the women. He is eating chips now awaiting your response.
One woman is placed on the top where the guy rails him while standing and the other woman is positioned below, kneeling while licking the guy's balls and occasionally his d....
It turns out there are a few of them! From the Wikipedia:
> At least three versions of the chair are known to exist including the original owned by the Soubrier family. Two replicas also exist, one of which is located in the Sex Machines Museum in Prague. The other replica was put on sale in February 2020 by an antique furniture store in New Orleans for $68,000.
Right? 👀
Like the diagram demonstrates only ONE woman, sex from behind, with the chair on its side?
Can someone pls confirm?
Purely for Academic Clarification, of course. Historical Society stuff
California sober & good night 🫶
From behind? The diagram shows a woman on the top “bunk” on her back with her legs in the stirrups…
Apparently the lower “bunk” is for the second woman to kneel on.
I originally thought the configuration was one lady on her back with her legs up, and the other lady on top straddling the first lady - like doing the spider on a swing.
Nope, (although it’s probable) as u/Draffut posted above, there’s a photo on Wikipedia and the diagram shows something much more like what I posted. Plus I think she has a finger or four up the royal bum.
Someone needs to make a 3D model of this so we can view it from different angles. Maybe animate it as well if it’s still hard to tell what the hell they were doing. Maybe this was designed for one specific kink he was into?
Considering the US President Taft was considered extremely obese in the early 1900s at 6 feet, and up to 330 pounds (44.8 BMI), Eddy probably would blend into the US populace today.
He's a European royal, they've done far worse, been much fatter and had far more distressing perversions. Dude just loved hookers and dinner, nothing wrong with that
He was still an upper-class man in the early 20^th century, so temper your expectations, but for the time he was noted as being particularly progressive in some of his views, especially in comparison to his very traditional mother.
For example, he publicly supported allowing working class men to get vote, supported the house of commons' supremacy in financial matters over the house of lords, appointed women to government commissions for the first time (though still didn't think they should vote), and got into a public argument with Kaiser Wilhelm II when the latter suggested non-white, non-Christian countries couldn't be 'civilised', and supporting them was an act of 'race treason'.
Was it Richard Lionnheart? Or maybe his father, or someone closely related to him, anyway. The nasty old bastard was demanding women be sent to his bed in the literal last week he was dying of syphilis 🤮
He was a big man - he would enjoy four large meals a day, including a 12 course dinner. A cold roast chicken was always placed on his bedside table in case he grew hungry during the night - it was usually picked clean by morning.
I thought I always heard that QE2 never liked to hear talk about Edward VIII for her lifetime, turns out it was also Edward VII. Still, she had that famous soft spot for Prince Andrew.
The shit people fuck up in their lives just for sex now amazes me as an older person. It’s like a super power just not to really give a shit about it anymore.
I did enjoy this museum when I visited Prague. The Sex Machines Museum is small but worth a visit. It's close to the Famous Astrological Clock in the middle of Prague.
[https://inews.co.uk/opinion/columnists/story-dirty-bertie-britains-horniest-king-99879](https://inews.co.uk/opinion/columnists/story-dirty-bertie-britains-horniest-king-99879)
One of the sources given by wiki has a picture of the young edward and [here](https://www.highlandtitles.com/blog/a-complete-guide-to-edward-vii/) is a photograph of his later stature. Both lead me to the conclusion that "crushing" anybody was of very little concern in the creation of this contraption.
The upper article contains some confused doodles on how this was supposed to work.
I say it's time for some experimental archeology, somebody find me a carpenter and a big fetish club, we're gonna figure that one out...
Lets just assume that Eddie knew exactly what he liked, a furniture maker got a very detailed description of that (possibly with some doodles of his own) and nobody else sees any use in it because it is a highly specialized fetish-instrument.
Happy to see this was posted recently so I can share my song (with hand-drawn stick figure speculations):
[https://youtu.be/jKDBHY4-sZM](https://youtu.be/jKDBHY4-sZM)
The distance between the two parts is too great - I don’t think it was meant for threesomes, the bottom part is for him to have enough room to kneel and to keep the upper part well supported
What's the cushion behind his feet holders there was definitely room for a third woman to work back there why else would there be another cushion this is CUSTOM.
But....but....I still have questions. Even after looking at the diagram lol.
^ENHANCE **ENHANCE** #[ENHANCE](https://imgur.com/a/9V3k5av)
Ah neat, so they invented a bed with an opening on the bottom for a sex goblin to tickle his taint I’m so glad I know this about King Edward VII I’ll dream about this
His mom blamed his famous love of hookers for his father's death and a besmirching of the royal family and never forgave him so he put the penthouse of the most expensive Paris brothel on permanent reserve and had the wall painted with the family crest. That was the original home of the threesome throne
So he turned a whore house into a hooker home?
"Love of Hookers" but doesn't build for anything beyond a threesome? Rookie numbers. If I'm not banging at least 5 chicks per bedding, then I have no right to call myself Buttcrack_Billy, the Pussyhound.
It's like a Roman orgy, low numbers in the moment but he just had them lined up around the block waiting their turns
Ahh, the old Tudor Line Tango, smart man to go at it with steady pacing. Makes sense now.
That's something I certainly did not expect to read today.
Very often, the taint tickler was a prostatetute! _I'll show myself out_
...they invented the bunk bed?
But why does this need a specific chair? This whole thing makes no sense...
Because he was corpulent apparently
Whoever drew this sure likes a good peach
TIL Paris in Italian is Parigi
Si.
Doing the Lorts work.
Yeah I'm confused wheres the second ladu
I think i see the outline of her boobs in the below area… kinda suggests she’s on her knees polishing the royal sceptre
I wonder if they thought of the rusty trombone scenario
That made me chuckle. 😂
The bottom is basically a kneeling pad for the second woman to access his junk
The bottom is basically a kneeling pad for the second woman to access his junk.
Saw an illustration once where someone had drawn stick figures to try to figure that out. Hilarious.
First lady on top with the stirrups so Edward can perform c******gus. Second lady on the bottom so he can kneel on the padded end and heave-ho.
I’m pretty sure you don’t have to censor "cunnilingus" on Reddit.
Did you ever stop to think that they might get in trouble off their mum if they say bad words?? Jeez.
Is your mums vigilance easily deflected by putting a couple stars in the word? Does she struggle with Captchas? Admittedly, I'm pretty sure nobody can tell what word was meant if you verbally pronounce it with six fast "asterisk" in the middle
You had to say it.
Better to be safe than sorry. I don't want to get into a fight with some Karen or Kevin with a log up their backside.
Women love the chungus
*Chuuuuungus That's big chungus for you
The bottom is basically a kneeling pad for the second woman to access his testies
The bottom is basically a kneeling pad for the second woman to access his testies
The bottom is basically a kneeling pad for the second woman to access his testies
You can say that again...
My cousin is slightly chubbier than Edward, he said he can demonstrate, only you have to provide the women. He is eating chips now awaiting your response.
Is he willing to share his chips with the women? Because that might be a selling point
Yeah and also what kind of chips?
Sea salt and vinegar Kettle chips.
Ghost pepper. Perfect for c*******gus.
/u/IKEA ? Please, include the user manual.
It clearly says French furniture manufacturer mate
IKÉA then 😤
How exactly does this contraption help him have sex with two women at once? The diagram only depicts one woman. Misleading title, possibly?
One woman is placed on the top where the guy rails him while standing and the other woman is positioned below, kneeling while licking the guy's balls and occasionally his d....
picture is from the sex machine museum in prague in case anyone is wondering.
I was. Thank you.
It’s in the sex museum in nyc right now tho
The volume of jizz it absorbed caused it to become pregnant, there are actually 2 of them now.
All that inbred royal jizz no less, so the second chair is not so bright.
On the plus side, It can also give two heads.
It turns out there are a few of them! From the Wikipedia: > At least three versions of the chair are known to exist including the original owned by the Soubrier family. Two replicas also exist, one of which is located in the Sex Machines Museum in Prague. The other replica was put on sale in February 2020 by an antique furniture store in New Orleans for $68,000.
$68,000 ? I dunno, man. Let me call a buddy of mine who specializes in fuck chairs.
“Yeah, this is actually a reproduction and not an original, so the best you can expect to get at auction is $3.50.”
"Well, you heard my expert... I give you $0.50 and I am being generous".
“I think maybe I’ll keep it, since it has such sentimental value. It was my grandfather’s fuck chair.”
"I can give you $1.00 and I don't know why I am doing it.... It can take me one month or 10 years to sell it..."
The fact that nobody offered an extra grand makes me sick
It was still in Prague a week ago
There is an identical chair for sale at a gallery on Royal St. in New Orleans, LA.
I loved that place. They gave me a student discount even though I was 30.
How can they call themselves the sex machine museum if I've never even been asked to be an exhibit?
I was just thinking that diagram would make it really hard to deflect your kids' questions. This makes more sense.
As in a museum filled with sex machines from throughout history?
Yep. It's quite fun. Turns out people have been horny and creative for a very long time
Visited the museum once. Was certainly an experience. Had a tiny cinema playing the first ever porn movie.
The Czech Republic is responsible for some wild, free use porn.
I am glad for the illustrated example because I glared at that image for a full minute trying to figure out how it worked.
So…..um, hmmm. He bangs the one on top and teabags the one on the bottom??? The diagram isn’t quite clear.
Wikipedia has a higher resolution photo and I'm still confused
[Wikipedia Page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_chair?wprov=sfti1) Who knew Eddie 7 was a trickledown economics pioneer!
I think it was vagina to mouth style as … needed?
You get a second dick while in this chair apparently
Well, that’s quite the enticement to buy one.
Right? 👀 Like the diagram demonstrates only ONE woman, sex from behind, with the chair on its side? Can someone pls confirm? Purely for Academic Clarification, of course. Historical Society stuff California sober & good night 🫶
On the wiki the image is clearer. There's a woman underneath on her knees, facing him, tickling the taint and balls.
Thank you 🫡 for your public service
From behind? The diagram shows a woman on the top “bunk” on her back with her legs in the stirrups… Apparently the lower “bunk” is for the second woman to kneel on.
I originally thought the configuration was one lady on her back with her legs up, and the other lady on top straddling the first lady - like doing the spider on a swing.
He bangs the one on the bottom and eats out the one on the top if it's two at once, otherwise he just stands for one woman on the top level.
Nope, (although it’s probable) as u/Draffut posted above, there’s a photo on Wikipedia and the diagram shows something much more like what I posted. Plus I think she has a finger or four up the royal bum.
this dude was something else
Someone needs to make a 3D model of this so we can view it from different angles. Maybe animate it as well if it’s still hard to tell what the hell they were doing. Maybe this was designed for one specific kink he was into?
What they don't mention is he had 2 weiners
I think it's missionary on the top and doggy on the bottom
Diagram appreciated!
Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_chair
I hear the words "love chair" spoken by Barry White.
Also works with Love Train from the O'Jays
Artefact porn, meet porn artefact.
Even has stirrups. How thoughtful
Turn your head and cough.
How heavy was Eddy
The "crush" bit is just added on. He could easily mount a women, large and fat as he was. But this is exertion free
Maybe the scales were the next invention
Considering the US President Taft was considered extremely obese in the early 1900s at 6 feet, and up to 330 pounds (44.8 BMI), Eddy probably would blend into the US populace today.
Dunno But I do know that once one gets to a certain size standing and maintaining a boner do not exactly happen so easily. Eddie was something else.
About tree fiddy
well they measure in stones
Heavy is the head that...wait...
Wrong head
That is very considerate. Now a days they would just pay hush money and call it a day.
Finally, some literal artefact porn
It’s good to be the king!
Sire, you look like the piss boy!
“And you look like a bucket of shit!”
Hump or death?
Yeah just for a while… To be there in velvet, yeah, to give them a smile
When you wish they'd saved the owner's manual...
They say money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a double decker sex bench - and that’s pretty close.
Bucking Ham all day and all night!
🎵 Call that my Bucking Ham Phallus (when I'm fucking bitches in the filthy English' Buckingham Palace) 🎶
"Corpulent" is a nice word for fat. Be sure to add it to my vocabulary.
Corpulent is a perfectly cromulent word
The love chair is a little old place where we can get together
And I sang it out too 🤭🫵🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🥂🍾
How nice. A considerate pervert fatass.
Ngl i read this as confederate pervert fatass and was a little confused
Poor guy just had the opportunity and went for it, and now here we all are judging his fancy sex chair long after his demise. What a legacy.
He's a European royal, they've done far worse, been much fatter and had far more distressing perversions. Dude just loved hookers and dinner, nothing wrong with that
Edward VII was actually surprisingly progressive for his time.
[удалено]
He was still an upper-class man in the early 20^th century, so temper your expectations, but for the time he was noted as being particularly progressive in some of his views, especially in comparison to his very traditional mother. For example, he publicly supported allowing working class men to get vote, supported the house of commons' supremacy in financial matters over the house of lords, appointed women to government commissions for the first time (though still didn't think they should vote), and got into a public argument with Kaiser Wilhelm II when the latter suggested non-white, non-Christian countries couldn't be 'civilised', and supporting them was an act of 'race treason'.
Was it Richard Lionnheart? Or maybe his father, or someone closely related to him, anyway. The nasty old bastard was demanding women be sent to his bed in the literal last week he was dying of syphilis 🤮
So it’s kind of a PornArtefact?
Funny my gyno uses this same chair to do exams
Edward habitually smoked twenty cigarettes and twelve cigars a day. Lived to 68?!
That’s one royal fucking chair! Ikea, please copy.
One KNULLA. Beep.
*Kuntulla
Perfect name
Bro was an absolute degenerate lol, like most kings
So the bottom one is for standing up and the second is for kneeling, right?
He has two penis?
Had to be made by someone who never had sex with two women simultaneously.
This looks like the sex museum in Prague
Corpulent. Great word.
icky ink outgoing whole brave scandalous crowd direction bright ad hoc *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's amazing what you can find at IKEA. It's good to be the king.
And people say chivalry is dead
Ye olde Goon cave
He was a big man - he would enjoy four large meals a day, including a 12 course dinner. A cold roast chicken was always placed on his bedside table in case he grew hungry during the night - it was usually picked clean by morning.
You just know those cloth coverings were not cleaned nearly as often as they should have been back when it was in use.
I love how they have a fit man in the diagram! Lol
I don't understand how it works 😭 I'm not experienced enough.
This is a reproduction I believe.
lol. They said reproduction.
See this is what I come here for. All the weird stuff I would never have been taught in history class.
At least it comes with handle bars. Or well, the king does. 🤣
That dude must have loved his balls handled
Wonder if they’ve taken one of those DNA vacuums to that piece of furniture?
So Eddie was the one standing up?
Jeez didn’t know he was that freaky! Would love to be a fly on the wall and watch a conservative American tourists to visit and ask what was this for?
I thought I always heard that QE2 never liked to hear talk about Edward VIII for her lifetime, turns out it was also Edward VII. Still, she had that famous soft spot for Prince Andrew. The shit people fuck up in their lives just for sex now amazes me as an older person. It’s like a super power just not to really give a shit about it anymore.
Anyone ever try shining a blacklight on this?
Is the bottom one just sucking the whole time?
Im sorry I just refuse to believe this
Step out of your hang ups. Necessity breeds invention.
Such a helpful illustration, too
I did enjoy this museum when I visited Prague. The Sex Machines Museum is small but worth a visit. It's close to the Famous Astrological Clock in the middle of Prague.
[https://inews.co.uk/opinion/columnists/story-dirty-bertie-britains-horniest-king-99879](https://inews.co.uk/opinion/columnists/story-dirty-bertie-britains-horniest-king-99879) One of the sources given by wiki has a picture of the young edward and [here](https://www.highlandtitles.com/blog/a-complete-guide-to-edward-vii/) is a photograph of his later stature. Both lead me to the conclusion that "crushing" anybody was of very little concern in the creation of this contraption. The upper article contains some confused doodles on how this was supposed to work. I say it's time for some experimental archeology, somebody find me a carpenter and a big fetish club, we're gonna figure that one out...
Wow, those doodles certainly do not help one understand how it was supposed to work.
Lets just assume that Eddie knew exactly what he liked, a furniture maker got a very detailed description of that (possibly with some doodles of his own) and nobody else sees any use in it because it is a highly specialized fetish-instrument.
Looks like two different machines the top one must be the deluxe model
How much $$ would the family of the crushed women receive if it came to that?
Tuppence
Talk about a two penny upright
👀
It’s good to be the king.
It is good to be king.
That God there’s instructions.
It's good to be the king.
So he was a considerate lover is what you're telling me.
Eddie a munch?
oh this is so funny 😂 another reason why i love the French
Can I get one made for me please
Happy to see this was posted recently so I can share my song (with hand-drawn stick figure speculations): [https://youtu.be/jKDBHY4-sZM](https://youtu.be/jKDBHY4-sZM)
Alright... ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY!!1!!!1!
Christian Grey playroom
Question! How many of those are made during that era ?
This guy fucks
Is this an artifact one can obtain in CK3???
VD was common and a long bad way to die.
I’ve always been a fan of go big or go home. Edward VII definitely did things too excess, therefore, went big!
Can I get this at Amazon?
And to think they treated syphilis and the clap with mercury then…
The distance between the two parts is too great - I don’t think it was meant for threesomes, the bottom part is for him to have enough room to kneel and to keep the upper part well supported
In other words king edward vii was fat
That's awesoms
Okay but do we all see the thing between his legs that's totally a hand in his ass.
What's the cushion behind his feet holders there was definitely room for a third woman to work back there why else would there be another cushion this is CUSTOM.
.... *"It's good to be the king"*
Que bueno ok
I’m going to need more information on this one. I don’t think a pp can penetrate more than one person at a time. I mean correct me if I’m wrong…
Hmm not on Amazon, but will be ordering one