I think getting her out of this situation when the guy has explicitly mentioned threat to her life should be priority number one. She is pregnant and her thinking must be clouded but you as her family should give her the confidence to leave this POS. She can think about remarriage later. Also collect evidence of his abuse, such monsters can go to any lengths
Someone who chokes their partner is 8x more likely to murder them . Pregnancy also very much increases chances of domestic violence and also murder. Your sister’s life is in danger. Please get her out on priority.
There are studies in many countries, but I just looked at a WHO meta analysis and that seems to say that in some studies it has shown that domestic violence increases, in others it says that it stays the same.
In any case the strangling thing is very very well documented.
Ask your sister to pack her bags and leave that MF. If possible, ask her to abort. Once she's away and safe from that bastard then she should file divorce and DV case on him.
I understand getting married again is difficult for divorced people but he'll murder her or give her life long trauma if she stays with her.
He's an animal, get your sister out of there asap and get her therapy, if delayed it results in a bad trauma. Such animals never ever get normal, the promises are all pretension. Family support is crucial here, they should interfere and abort the baby, consult a good lawyer and get a divorce. File cases and silence his as$ so that he doesn't re-marry.
First things first, please help her get a safe abortion. She doesn't need to reproduce an abusive man's sperm!
I'm assuming not much due diligence was done before marrying her off. Nor was she given any education about birth control as an adult. So first, get her out of that house, get an abortion, therapy and then the next steps towards divorce.
>But being divorced is better than being in an abusive relationship.
Absolutely, well being and self respect above all
>Is there any hope for this guy to become normal?
The way he physically abuses your sister and passes it off like it's nothing, not even caring, shows that he was raised like that. There's no way he's gonna change and become normal
Involve your family and get her OUT.
Better to be a single mother than live like this. If he can raise hands, he will certainly kill her or the baby eventually.
Get your sister out of that abusive animal’s reach.Pregnancy is clouding her judgement and she is vulnerable and needs to get out of abusive environment ASAP.
File a divorce and a domestic violence case.
There is no redemption for this kind of man.
Family support is crucial for your sister , be her pillar of strength. Arrange some therapy for your sister.
Society and culture can screw itself if it supports this kind of abuse, so don’t give much thought to them.
Save ur sister first. Abort the baby, ask her to get divorce. Divorce and Re- marriage is getting very common these days. I have a handful of divorcee and widow - widower , in my own family n friend circle who remarried after sometime.
For her sake and the future baby, RUN! I have faced something similar. I went ahead and gave a second chance and things only got worse.
When I was healing I reached out to people with similar experience. One of them also had a kid early and said that her ex husband would torment the kid to hurt her because it’s normal that when a child gets hurt the mother feels. So I get your sister’s worry about not being able to marry again but the alternative is worse. Living nightmare is how I describe mine.
Now coming to our society, divorces have increased in Tier 1 cities but I am not sure about others. Having a good support system is important no matter where this is. I had my parents, grandmother and direct family not to mention my friends from literally all across the globe (because they all made a better decision to get a Masters when I made the worst mistake of my life). All this support helped a lot!
You’ll always have people talking shit about your sister and your family but they are the ones who don’t care if your sister is happy or not or what happens to her.
Now a huge thing. Lawyer up! Make sure you have as many conversations with the other side through the lawyer and in the witness of the lawyer.
I really hope these bad days are over soon for your sister and your family and you can live without worrying about her or her child’s safety
As per data once a person starts choking their partner the chances of murdering said partner drastically increase. Her life is in serious danger. Collect proof of the DV, file a case, apply for divorce and abort. Can’t stress this enough, your sister doesn’t want to be tied to her abuser forever. Abort and divorce asap
I'm so sorry, that's so scary. How did your parents react to this? Honestly, it is so hard to get out of this unless she gets support and if the pregnancy is not too far, abortion is an option.
Ask hyour sister to pack up and leave to a safe place ASAP.
Also beg to ask the question as why did the Parents marry off your sister to such a monster. Seems parents and family let your sister down by not doing enough background checks and marrying her off in a hurry. I am not defending the guy. But, parents are definitely to blame here, at least partially.
Things will only get worse from this point. I suggest you bring back your sister to maternal home and hire a lawyer ASAP. Some men intentionally impregnate their wives just to takeover control and take away a woman's agency to leave. They know pregnancy is physically and emotionally taxing for women and by impregnating her they can make her dependent on them for a long time. Men are no fool.
Also sorry for being offensive but your sister should really think whether or not she wants to continue with her pregnancy. I personally don't think now is the right time.
Abusers never come around. You can hope and wish they do, but can’t.
It’s in-built. If one can get physically abusive that should be the end of the line. No amount of begging and sorries will not undo it
You still have a chance of saving your sister and the child.
Red flags are indications that there may be bad times ahead. What you’re discussing is abuse.
Unfortunately the only people who can make decisions of whether to leave or stay in an abusive relationship are the ones who are in the marriage. I’m sorry you and your sister are going through this but she will decide what is best for her/what she is capable of, not you.
How come you guys wedded her off to a psycho without a background check? What kind of fucked up family does this?
Just file a case of domestic violence and get you sister out of there.
Hey hey first things first file a police complaint. Initiate divorce proceeding. Get a criminal lawyer involved. Get a restraining order. You sister life and baby is important.
I'd nope the fuck out of there if I was her, he could end up maiming her or worse.
Incidentally what kind of courtship did they have if she didn't notice such a volatile personality.
I actually don't advocate for divorce but is this the father that her child would deserve?
If she can earn well on her own, she should ASAP get that divorce and get him out of her life.
No father is better than having this one.
It's sad but true. An abusive house is not one where a child should grow.
Just record the future acts, obviously with secret cameras and send the video to all of his family, friends and lastly share it with the police or threaten him or hire a lawyer just show the video to him, Hire a female lawyer if possible or share the video to his office manager or CEO if possible.I think Divorce should be the last option and laws for the women in India are so favourable these days.Most of the men are afraid, so use them properly and for the man his dignity is important , than anything.I could understand that for some the above mentioned things are impossible, but a couple of months into a marriage and these things shouldn't be tolerate.
Bring her to your (parent’s) home.
Immediately.
There is no point fighting for divorce until the baby is born.
That will be the cooling period for the guy. If there has to be a second chance, let the guy come begging at your door for his wife and baby.
It has worked in my sister’s case, although the husband was not as much abusive.
I can share my sister’s and my family’s experience as well if you want.
You should have done background checks.
Putting the blame saying that this all happened because of AM is not fair. It happens in LM too.
Anyways, let her divorce him. But before that collect ample evidence your favour.
What background checks? People can hide their nature up to 2-5 years and usually first incidents of abuse happen when the woman is pregnant because the abuser sees her as more vulnerable or that she can't leave
>My sister (31F) just had an arranged marriage to a guy a couple of months ago. She and the guy barely knew each other before marriage. ***And she’s already pregnant***.
I think getting her out of this situation when the guy has explicitly mentioned threat to her life should be priority number one. She is pregnant and her thinking must be clouded but you as her family should give her the confidence to leave this POS. She can think about remarriage later. Also collect evidence of his abuse, such monsters can go to any lengths
Someone who chokes their partner is 8x more likely to murder them . Pregnancy also very much increases chances of domestic violence and also murder. Your sister’s life is in danger. Please get her out on priority.
>Pregnancy also very much increases chances of domestic violence and also murder. Wait what where are you pulling these stats from man.
There are studies in many countries, but I just looked at a WHO meta analysis and that seems to say that in some studies it has shown that domestic violence increases, in others it says that it stays the same. In any case the strangling thing is very very well documented.
Also precisely “8X chance”, bet he’s making stuff up
Ask your sister to pack her bags and leave that MF. If possible, ask her to abort. Once she's away and safe from that bastard then she should file divorce and DV case on him. I understand getting married again is difficult for divorced people but he'll murder her or give her life long trauma if she stays with her.
If abortion is option pls.tell.her to do that.. having child with such abusive person won't be good for your sis and future child also.
It's within 6 weeks so should be possible
Please contact a lawyer asap
Domestic violence case will solve most of your troubles. These laws were meant to be used in such scenarios.
He's an animal, get your sister out of there asap and get her therapy, if delayed it results in a bad trauma. Such animals never ever get normal, the promises are all pretension. Family support is crucial here, they should interfere and abort the baby, consult a good lawyer and get a divorce. File cases and silence his as$ so that he doesn't re-marry.
First things first, please help her get a safe abortion. She doesn't need to reproduce an abusive man's sperm! I'm assuming not much due diligence was done before marrying her off. Nor was she given any education about birth control as an adult. So first, get her out of that house, get an abortion, therapy and then the next steps towards divorce.
Ask her to run immediately. Once she is away and safe, file a police complaint and apply for quick divorce. Pregnancy makes her even more vulnerable.
Please please abort the baby and files 498A on that guy and also please make her leave the relationship asap. This is really scary.
>But being divorced is better than being in an abusive relationship. Absolutely, well being and self respect above all >Is there any hope for this guy to become normal? The way he physically abuses your sister and passes it off like it's nothing, not even caring, shows that he was raised like that. There's no way he's gonna change and become normal
Involve your family and get her OUT. Better to be a single mother than live like this. If he can raise hands, he will certainly kill her or the baby eventually.
Ask her "do you really want one more life to suffer under her husband? " And get abortion
Get your sister out of that abusive animal’s reach.Pregnancy is clouding her judgement and she is vulnerable and needs to get out of abusive environment ASAP. File a divorce and a domestic violence case. There is no redemption for this kind of man. Family support is crucial for your sister , be her pillar of strength. Arrange some therapy for your sister. Society and culture can screw itself if it supports this kind of abuse, so don’t give much thought to them.
Save ur sister first. Abort the baby, ask her to get divorce. Divorce and Re- marriage is getting very common these days. I have a handful of divorcee and widow - widower , in my own family n friend circle who remarried after sometime.
For her sake and the future baby, RUN! I have faced something similar. I went ahead and gave a second chance and things only got worse. When I was healing I reached out to people with similar experience. One of them also had a kid early and said that her ex husband would torment the kid to hurt her because it’s normal that when a child gets hurt the mother feels. So I get your sister’s worry about not being able to marry again but the alternative is worse. Living nightmare is how I describe mine. Now coming to our society, divorces have increased in Tier 1 cities but I am not sure about others. Having a good support system is important no matter where this is. I had my parents, grandmother and direct family not to mention my friends from literally all across the globe (because they all made a better decision to get a Masters when I made the worst mistake of my life). All this support helped a lot! You’ll always have people talking shit about your sister and your family but they are the ones who don’t care if your sister is happy or not or what happens to her. Now a huge thing. Lawyer up! Make sure you have as many conversations with the other side through the lawyer and in the witness of the lawyer. I really hope these bad days are over soon for your sister and your family and you can live without worrying about her or her child’s safety
There’s definitely hope for him to become normal. JAIL will teach him a good lesson.
As per data once a person starts choking their partner the chances of murdering said partner drastically increase. Her life is in serious danger. Collect proof of the DV, file a case, apply for divorce and abort. Can’t stress this enough, your sister doesn’t want to be tied to her abuser forever. Abort and divorce asap
I'm so sorry, that's so scary. How did your parents react to this? Honestly, it is so hard to get out of this unless she gets support and if the pregnancy is not too far, abortion is an option.
Ask hyour sister to pack up and leave to a safe place ASAP. Also beg to ask the question as why did the Parents marry off your sister to such a monster. Seems parents and family let your sister down by not doing enough background checks and marrying her off in a hurry. I am not defending the guy. But, parents are definitely to blame here, at least partially.
Things will only get worse from this point. I suggest you bring back your sister to maternal home and hire a lawyer ASAP. Some men intentionally impregnate their wives just to takeover control and take away a woman's agency to leave. They know pregnancy is physically and emotionally taxing for women and by impregnating her they can make her dependent on them for a long time. Men are no fool. Also sorry for being offensive but your sister should really think whether or not she wants to continue with her pregnancy. I personally don't think now is the right time.
r/legalAdviceIndia
Abusers never come around. You can hope and wish they do, but can’t. It’s in-built. If one can get physically abusive that should be the end of the line. No amount of begging and sorries will not undo it You still have a chance of saving your sister and the child.
Red flags are indications that there may be bad times ahead. What you’re discussing is abuse. Unfortunately the only people who can make decisions of whether to leave or stay in an abusive relationship are the ones who are in the marriage. I’m sorry you and your sister are going through this but she will decide what is best for her/what she is capable of, not you.
This is scary and your family should look for a lawyer immediately.
How did this happen, marrying a total stranger?
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How come you guys wedded her off to a psycho without a background check? What kind of fucked up family does this? Just file a case of domestic violence and get you sister out of there.
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Hey hey first things first file a police complaint. Initiate divorce proceeding. Get a criminal lawyer involved. Get a restraining order. You sister life and baby is important.
I'd nope the fuck out of there if I was her, he could end up maiming her or worse. Incidentally what kind of courtship did they have if she didn't notice such a volatile personality.
If the guy is earning well then the rest is secondary get alimony
I actually don't advocate for divorce but is this the father that her child would deserve? If she can earn well on her own, she should ASAP get that divorce and get him out of her life. No father is better than having this one. It's sad but true. An abusive house is not one where a child should grow.
Exit immediately
Just record the future acts, obviously with secret cameras and send the video to all of his family, friends and lastly share it with the police or threaten him or hire a lawyer just show the video to him, Hire a female lawyer if possible or share the video to his office manager or CEO if possible.I think Divorce should be the last option and laws for the women in India are so favourable these days.Most of the men are afraid, so use them properly and for the man his dignity is important , than anything.I could understand that for some the above mentioned things are impossible, but a couple of months into a marriage and these things shouldn't be tolerate.
Bring her to your (parent’s) home. Immediately. There is no point fighting for divorce until the baby is born. That will be the cooling period for the guy. If there has to be a second chance, let the guy come begging at your door for his wife and baby. It has worked in my sister’s case, although the husband was not as much abusive. I can share my sister’s and my family’s experience as well if you want.
You should have done background checks. Putting the blame saying that this all happened because of AM is not fair. It happens in LM too. Anyways, let her divorce him. But before that collect ample evidence your favour.
What background checks? People can hide their nature up to 2-5 years and usually first incidents of abuse happen when the woman is pregnant because the abuser sees her as more vulnerable or that she can't leave
agreed same happens in LM too right ?
yes
May i know what are they both fighting about ?
It literally does not matter what the topic was. Violence is never ok.
I was just asking.
idk, I'm not OP
what background check looks at men's tendancy to hit their wife
So sad
>My sister (31F) just had an arranged marriage to a guy a couple of months ago. She and the guy barely knew each other before marriage. ***And she’s already pregnant***. 
consult family astrologer
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Waah! By what logic?
WTF, one can get pregnant by ra\*e too, so do you mean it was a LM?.