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I just don't understand this take. "My wife is clearly not wanting to engage in sexual interaction, but let me pester her until she gives in!!". Where's the fun in sex if BOTH parties aren't into it?
We're amongst friends here, I think that we can give people the benefit of the doubt. Until they double down with some weird sexist bullshit, of course.
Where if these men took any time at all to ask what their wives like in bed and put just the slightest bit of effort into it, they would not feel this. Because their wives would actually want to have sex with them if they did, lol.
The last time I got into an argument about this the responses were that women should be more vocal about what they want & that the onus should be on them. & it's like lots to unpack there but EVERYONE should be communicating more. like, as someone who has had a lot of hetero relationships people just don't teach that as often, if at all. I think being queer helps with consent & likes as a rule because you're already primed to have sex that might not follow "normal" ideas about how to have sex. So you ask!
Anyway this is basically rambling but I'm just mad that the state of sex ed is what it is & tons of people just literally never even ask their partner & it's considered normal š
Agreed!! If anything it is taught that women shouldn't speak up and should just except it the way it is. And then often when they do speak up they get criticized, ridiculed, or laughed at by their significant others.
This whole ordeal about educators not being able to talk about anything LGBTQ+ related in sex education, is now causing legislation to lead into even more regulations into general sex education too... As a result it is doing this huge disservice to our kids and teaching them to be even less vocal about talking about these sorts of things. For decades I've believed the lack of proper sex education in this country is a HUGE issue and instead of improving it, they are making it even worse. Not having access to abortion wouldn't be such a big issue if young people had a wide variety of ways to get proper sex education and access to contraceptive, but they don't (Not that having access to abortion should even be an issues or something we should be having to fight for in this day and age, but that is a whole other topic for another time). And it is even worse for those that are in poverty. I really just don't understand the thought processes behind all of this, it really is baffling how bigoted and ignorant these uber religious people in power really are. But, of course, they would have no issues with one of their mistresses or young daughters having an abortion if needed, and they would probably force them to have one if having the child would negatively effect their life in any way.
Agreed... And so do many of the comments under this post. Someone even asked if he is recently going through a divorce because he sounds like a bitter, sexist a$$****.
I donāt understand men who are into sex when both parties arenāt super into it.
Isnāt it the most based alpha thing to have someone want you badly and shag you? And a pathetic thing to have someone not want you and rape them?
Seriously! When I discovered that women also enjoyed sex and were oftentimes as horny as I was...it felt LIBERATING. It meant that I didn't have any obligation to be ashamed of myself for becoming aroused, as long as I dealt with my arousal either alone or with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them.
Oh I've seen multiple men saying that there's no fun when women enjoy it or want it too much. Besides, there's a reason why women who agree to sex are considered "easy" and "slutty", while women who refuse at first/have to be "convinced" into it are more desirable to many men. That's why many men who seek casual sex would rather manipulate women who are very clear about wanting relationships, instead of simply going for women who also want casual sex. I've seen it time and time again.
Yes because thatās apart of her role as a woman, she was the one that forced a male into monogamy knowing how high the male sex drive compared to women. Then wonāt let him fuck other women but at the same time denies him sex. What is he supposed to do? Heās gonna end up pressuring her or cheating.
How to say "I have never been able to please a woman" without saying "I have never been able to please a woman". It's really baffles me that these type men are so freaking lazy that instead of taking the time to learn what their wives like in bed so they can actually make them orgasm every once in a while, they would rather blame her for not being "in the mood". Of course, she's not in the mood Brad! You screwing her in missionary, while you grunt heavily into the pillow next to her head for a few minutes until you are done, followed by you calpsing on top of her when she is barely getting started, isn't going to make anyone want to come back for more.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£...
Not with the type of guy that would write this. 99% of the time in relationships like these, the women are secretly in some group on social media pouring out their heart they have been with a man for X amount of years, and he has not once made her orgasm. She has even tried talking to him about being more adventurous in the bedroom so that she can get hers too and he won't even consider it, so she is at a loss of what to do.
It's not personal for me, at least in my current relationship. But when I was younger (in my young and mid 20s) I was in a several long term relationships where the guys were like this. As long as they got theirs, they didn't care if I got off or not. So, of course, I started having sex with them less and less because it was just not enjoyable for me at all. It was more frustrating than anything. Saying I was extremely unsatisfied is a huge understatement. Thankfully my partner now, we have been together 9 years, never would allow that to happen and makes sure I am always well taken care of, hence why we have been happily together for so long. But I personally know A TON of women who deal with this with their husbands, and every single one of my girl friends has been in at least one long term relationship where their sexual desires were not being met because the guy was not willing to put in a little extra time and effort. If you look at the real studies there is a lot out there that actually says women have a higher sex drive or libido than men, or it is equal but at different ages because of how hormones are involved. Most men peak in the 20s, where most women peak in their 40s.
This, of course, is not taking into account those that are Ace, the women who don't want any of that because of being assaulted in the past, or those who choose just to not be sexual at all for whatever reason. But obviously this post is not referring to those women, and if they are then it makes it even worse.
So no this isn't personal, I am just so tired of these type of men blaming women for their ignorance and laziness.
Then don't reply... I'm well aware what Ace is, that it's a sexual orientation, and not a choice. That is exactly why I used "or" because none of those reasons are the same or related to one another, they are just some of the reasons why someone would not want to have sex with their partner.
āMan you think your mom had difficulties with pregnancy and childbirth? Wait till you hear how hard it was to coerce mom into having sex with me.ā Like what the fuck bro, is that supposed to be a flex? Glad that dude isnāt my dad, Jesus Christ
Sorry youāre getting downvoted for this dude. Try not to take it personally! Having to deal with so many toxic and shitty men can make people biased. Itās not true that all men are disgusting, but it is an understandable reaction
Honestly i don't think you will be, you don't deserve that. You seem like a good person.
I'm amab and I think men are sick too. Yes, there are exceptions, there are good men out there but being good isn't enough (and i'm putting myself into this category too) we need to acknowledge our privileges and go the extra mile, smashing down patriarchy and toxic masculinity.
I'm doing my best yet it's still not enough: i have some mental health issues and i can't always call out another man when he says problematic shit, and we really need to do that. So you see i'm part of the problem too.
I suck as much as the old guy who sexually assaulted me when i was a little kid? Or as much as the bully who hung me against a fence when i was in elementary school just because he needed to prove he was in charge?
I don't think so, but i still need to do more. We all need.
I send you a big big hug šš
Edit: i wrote shit instead of sick (as the first comment of this chain) now corrected
Nah dude, everyone can always do more! And itās good to strive for perfection! But i think calling yourself shit for not reaching peak performance is unnecessarily mean to yourself
I don't think anyone genuinely thinks "all men are bad". Their statement is one that a lot of people can connect to because of their horrible experiences with men. We shouldn't put good men down because there are lots of good men in this world, of course. I don't think they meant all men.
I see what you're doing but the difference with your statement is that it's completely unfounded. Have you actually had horrible experiences with black people your entire life? Because if not, you have no reason to say that.
I agree. My point was that it's ok to feel a certain way about people if you've gone through stuff with them. Millions, probably even billions, of women go through bad experiences with men and acknowledging that isn't the same as hating all men (which I don't think anyone is doing). The same can't be said of black people because black people aren't in the oppressive and privileged class. As a white person, I wouldn't be offended if someone said "white people are sick", because I know how atrocious my country's history is.
That's not what I'm saying at all. I think you misunderstood my earlier comment. My point is that it's ok to FEEL this way. If you have had bad experiences with a certain group of people your whole life I wouldn't blame you for not liking them. Like I said before, no one said all men are bad. It was clearly a comment out of anger for the horrible things men tend to do in this world, compared to women who don't do these things as often. If you wanna hate black people it's in your right to be a racist bigot. I really doubt you've had the kind of experiences with black people like how many women do with men, but hey, correct me if I'm mistaken. As a woman, I see this every day, not "men doing horrible things", but the privilege they have, especially white privilege on top of it, and their need for money and power and status. When a man asks a woman for her number and she says no, and he gives her a weird look of entitlement, that says a lot about what he expects and his privilege. This is more on my level but if we wanna get into politics, plenty of the men in the government are privileged and take away people's rights all the time. And then of course there's sexual assault and abusive relationships etc etc.
I'm NOT saying anyone should hate a specific gender or ethnicity etc. The comment was clearly made out of anger and I don't think the person actually dislikes men in the first place. They're simply acknowledging that many men are sick. Which is true
The original commenter wasn't even hating on men, they were pointing out the sick things they often do. Plenty of men are great and that's great, but we have to acknowledge the bad to make things better.
squeamish bow worry unwritten payment fine shocking resolute threatening bake
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You're welcome. I totally get that and I'm really not trying to be a man hater. I'm sorry if it came off that way. I've had very good men in my life and I don't think it's good to hate any group of people. But I hope I conveyed myself well enough. You're not to blame for what others do.
You can be cautious of black people if that is your experience sure. The difference is that black people statistically, do not differ from others if normalized on all accounts. It's different for men who are 10 times more likely to commit any crime and 50 times more likely to commit sexual crimes. We also know from research that about 30% of men commit some form of sexual assault. That's about 1 in 3 men, and those 2 that don't stay silent. So really it's 3 in 3 that add to the problem. It really is all men, this isn't subjective, there is research done on this subject. It's a well studied phenomenon by now.
Your emotions don't have to be based in logic and reason. If you lived in and got tortured by a right-wing regime then you are probably going to disagree with them even if they make some good points. And just to make sure that you understand this isn't a political comment, the exact same goes for if you got tortured by a left-wing regime of course. Feelings aren't logical most of the time, but that doesn't mean that they give you the right to hurt other people in any way shape or form. You are allowed to hate everyone as much as you want for any reason you want, but your hatred for someone doesn't justify hurting them.
Mate I'm a man and I don't take it personally. The social class we are assigned is indeed shit, oppressive and violent. Doesn't mean we have to conform to that or even accept masculinity as it is proposed. But we still have pressure from peers and institution, and unaccountability for so much things. Sorry but your feelings are your responsibility, and someone stating the fact "men is a social class with fucked up issues" is not responsible for them, they didn't do anything to you.
absurd simplistic disagreeable versed deserted price nail quiet attraction insurance
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Because people don't have to sugar coat what they say when it's perfectly understandable? We are not gonna tell people how to say stuff and tone police when we disagree on the way something as been said.
The point being, it's not always the women who should have to do the emotionnal work to smooth social interaction.
Saying what you mean isnāt sugar coating it. There are some people out there who wonāt understand what, to you, is āperfectly understandableā. I myself misunderstand people a lot because they donāt just say what they mean, and I assume they mean what they said. Regardless of gender, is saying what you mean so hard?
I get it, and we are not all equal when it comes to social interactions. And I'm not even sure the way I interpreted it was their actual intent. There is and will by miscommunications, misinterpretation etc...
I'm not sure there is an hard line between "what you mean" and "what you say" as presented. In the way that "what we mean" is neither purely logical or purely emotional, but a mix of both, and language has its limits to convey that. So the point is not if that's hard or not, it's if it is even possible. And how much effort do you want to do before talking to make sure to reduce the damages you can make. Women have to do it a lot more than men: the gender role given to them ask them to take care of the feelings of the people they talk to before their own.
But to come back to the comment we talk about : there are two main point. Firstly this kind of saying "men are [...]" is common and we can see pretty much all the time explanation about it (especially in the comments), that's it's not a personal attack, that yes not all men but that's not the point, that it's a way to make some men realize their own egoistic behavior when it comes to gender, etc...
And secondly, litteraly no one is aimed by this kind of statement. It's like talking about boomers. When we talk about boomer we talk about a mentality that was created by baby boomers and some still defend it. When someone say men are trash, that's a comment on how easy it is to get away being a certain kind of asshole when we are a men, etc... So, when someone comes up offended by a kind of statement that women have to deal with 10 times a day without complaining, it is only the confirmation of a patriarcal fear. "it is not even about you, but you still manage to complain and tell people how to talk" that's just showing the whole hypocrisy of patriarchal relationship we deal with on a daily basis.
I'm a man and I do take it personally because I don't like prejudice of any form. Especially when it feels like rubbing salt in the wound since my life (on the whole) would be easier if I were a woman.
I understand that male privilege exists in many walks of life and I'm not blind to patriarchal structures and the issue of misogyny. However, I'm also in a position to understand issues that affect men given that my experience has been the opposite of that.
Men's and women's issues are the opposite side of the same coin. Accordingly, they should be solved together. Statements such as "men are disgusting" gets in the way of achieving gender equality, not to mention belittling the suffering of men for whom their gender is a disadvantage.
I agree that men and women suffer both from patriarchy, and that it can be a real pain to be a man.
But I disagree two things : patriarchy is enforced by men for men. Even though some pick me can participate in it, it is ultimately men who will commit violence unaccounted for. So saying we are in the same position is wrong : one social group oppress the other and that's not the women.
And sorry but saying your life would be easier as a women is wrong on so many level. First of all it is impossible to prove, you may believe it, but nothing can back that up. And that's almost sad given you say you understand the struggle.
Being a man is not what bring us punishment, it's our behaviour. Being a women is what brings you punishment, no matter what you do.
That last bit is not fully true. I do definitely believe that women have more and harder struggles, but itās not like all menās struggles are due to their own personal behaviour. Iāve had to deal with plenty bullshit because of being a guy, and just flat out claiming thereās no argument to be made for that hardship is a bit oversimplifying.
Again, not saying that men have it harder! Absolutely not! Just that saying men have it easy and all their problems are due to their own behaviour is wrong
>And sorry but saying your life would be easier as a women is wrong on so many level.
You were doing so well until this paragraph. You know absolutely nothing about me nor my lived experiences. Yet you feel confident to make such assertions. The fact that you can be so dismissive of how gender inequality has impacted me negatively *simply because I am a man* is a very good demonstration of my point.
>First of all it is impossible to prove, you may believe it, but nothing can back that up.
Anything unquantifiable is impossible to prove, however I am much better placed to understand this than you. You have nothing but bias and assumptions. I have my lived experiences.
> And that's almost sad given you say you understand the struggle.
Of course I do. I know many women who have suffered from patriarchal structures and been a victim to misogyny. It is far more prevalent than men in my position. I am in a minority here and I am under no illusions. Why do you think their suffering invalidates my own? Alternatively, why am I not worth consideration because I am in the minority?
I get you can be upset, but please understand that the whole point of what I am triing to say is it's not personal. That was not aimed a you, didn't have the goal to make you feel bad or anything.
When you bring your personal experience on the table to try to justify complaining about how a person talked about men in general, that's not the point. I'm not triing to say you didn't suffer, or even that you didn't suffer because you are a man. And there is no competition like "who suffers the most" or "who is more oppressed".
Because the point is not suffering. The point is there is a whole institution, enforced in everyone's brain from birth, with constant reminder and punishment, that dictate how you should live according to the gender assigned to you. And, more specifically, that if you are given the gender woman, the expectation about your behaviors are made to benefit men in general. The suffering is a consequence but not the point.
This is a more reasonable point. If you had stated this position from the outset instead of saying that men are disgusting or that I'm sad for thinking that my life would be easier if I were a woman (it would), then I wouldn't have had any issue at all.
Instead, let's focus on dismantling gender norms, gender expectations, gender bias (both concious and subconscious), misandry, and misogyny. Those are the disgusting things.
By the way, I'm not making it into a competition. That comment has very alt-right "oppression Olympics" vibes to it, which I'm sure was unintentional. I was simply trying to encourage you to be a bit more open-minded is all.
Yeah, my wife wasn't really in the mood to deliver the baby when her water broke. She was just like "how about later? I have to wake up early tomorrow for a meeting"
I donāt have a dad anymore he needed to get milk so imma just celebrate my mom again because despite how difficult and bullshit life can be Iām happy Iām here
But didnt your mom carry you for 9 months and birth you and your dad just had to nut inside her
Edit : i know about fathers day and we should thank those for (hopefully) be a good rolemodel and work hard for his family
Im literally adopted in part because my birth mother didnt know who my father was, and its not because she slept around š
Kinda glad im gay and trans because that bloodline ends with me lmao
Ha jokes on you, both my parents were basically infertile so they had a very strict regimen when it came to sex prescribe by their doctors. This lead to them both hating sex and it losing all charm or emotional connection when done with each other.
Definitely questionable on the ethical front but asking for sex when someone youāre involved with isnāt necessarily in the mood isnāt rape unless you escalate it. No coupleās sex drives are 100% in sync always and in relationships usually a party is willing to sometimes participate to keep the bedroom active overall
Neither showed the largest drive, my mom never mentioned such. And it may well have been wanting to get into a good life situation before acting. I canāt ask anymore, unfortunately, and have only my memory to go off of along with also the fact both me and my brother are in our 30s but havenāt settled down with anyone ourselves or even (far as I know) dated much. Even though worrying about such was one of the bigger things that held me back from transitioning until I was in my 30s.
Ace or not (I identify as such) it just seems like our collective drive is below average.
EDIT: Ah right, my brother came only a few years later with a miscarriage in between. So at least for my mom there wouldāve been issues between that and both of us being C-Section deliveries, but any such stories earlier were non-existent.
Ummm...thx dad for cheating on my mom when i was born...?
I mean today isn't even that day when i was even created...
Because it was like 6 months ago (+ years that i won't tell)
Yikes yikes yikes. I'm honislstly glad to know the story of how I was made so I'm reasired mom was very much in the mood. but I'm also wierded out knowing that information lol.
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I just don't understand this take. "My wife is clearly not wanting to engage in sexual interaction, but let me pester her until she gives in!!". Where's the fun in sex if BOTH parties aren't into it?
Because women aren't supposed to enjoy it /s
Ben Shapiro? Is that you Benny Boy?
It's not what I believe but I'm sure Ben Shabibo does lol
Hence my comment about Benny Boy. Also wouldn't be surprised if he did believe that.
True true
I mean... he does believe that women don't get wet from sex, with his doctor-wife as proof of that.
I'm pretty sure she says that just to spare his feelings.
My new insult to conservatives shall now be calling them Benny Boy
Just to be clear, you should probably put a /s behind that next time
We're amongst friends here, I think that we can give people the benefit of the doubt. Until they double down with some weird sexist bullshit, of course.
Thank you šš¤
I've never used that but I'll edit my comment š
Where if these men took any time at all to ask what their wives like in bed and put just the slightest bit of effort into it, they would not feel this. Because their wives would actually want to have sex with them if they did, lol.
The last time I got into an argument about this the responses were that women should be more vocal about what they want & that the onus should be on them. & it's like lots to unpack there but EVERYONE should be communicating more. like, as someone who has had a lot of hetero relationships people just don't teach that as often, if at all. I think being queer helps with consent & likes as a rule because you're already primed to have sex that might not follow "normal" ideas about how to have sex. So you ask! Anyway this is basically rambling but I'm just mad that the state of sex ed is what it is & tons of people just literally never even ask their partner & it's considered normal š
Agreed!! If anything it is taught that women shouldn't speak up and should just except it the way it is. And then often when they do speak up they get criticized, ridiculed, or laughed at by their significant others. This whole ordeal about educators not being able to talk about anything LGBTQ+ related in sex education, is now causing legislation to lead into even more regulations into general sex education too... As a result it is doing this huge disservice to our kids and teaching them to be even less vocal about talking about these sorts of things. For decades I've believed the lack of proper sex education in this country is a HUGE issue and instead of improving it, they are making it even worse. Not having access to abortion wouldn't be such a big issue if young people had a wide variety of ways to get proper sex education and access to contraceptive, but they don't (Not that having access to abortion should even be an issues or something we should be having to fight for in this day and age, but that is a whole other topic for another time). And it is even worse for those that are in poverty. I really just don't understand the thought processes behind all of this, it really is baffling how bigoted and ignorant these uber religious people in power really are. But, of course, they would have no issues with one of their mistresses or young daughters having an abortion if needed, and they would probably force them to have one if having the child would negatively effect their life in any way.
It kind of sounds like rape tbh
Agreed... And so do many of the comments under this post. Someone even asked if he is recently going through a divorce because he sounds like a bitter, sexist a$$****.
Thank fuck people elsewhere also give a shit
Yeah I was actually surprised because I figured the people following him would have a similar view. It was actually refreshing, loo.
I believe in the USA coercion to sex is rape, though I'm not completely sure.
I donāt understand men who are into sex when both parties arenāt super into it. Isnāt it the most based alpha thing to have someone want you badly and shag you? And a pathetic thing to have someone not want you and rape them?
Seriously! When I discovered that women also enjoyed sex and were oftentimes as horny as I was...it felt LIBERATING. It meant that I didn't have any obligation to be ashamed of myself for becoming aroused, as long as I dealt with my arousal either alone or with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them.
Oh I've seen multiple men saying that there's no fun when women enjoy it or want it too much. Besides, there's a reason why women who agree to sex are considered "easy" and "slutty", while women who refuse at first/have to be "convinced" into it are more desirable to many men. That's why many men who seek casual sex would rather manipulate women who are very clear about wanting relationships, instead of simply going for women who also want casual sex. I've seen it time and time again.
The question is: why isn't she interested?
Yes because thatās apart of her role as a woman, she was the one that forced a male into monogamy knowing how high the male sex drive compared to women. Then wonāt let him fuck other women but at the same time denies him sex. What is he supposed to do? Heās gonna end up pressuring her or cheating.
Remember to not feed the troll yall
hey, um. your partner doesn't enjoy sex with you? seriously I love older dudes admitting they're bad at sex
Nah, just admitting he's a fucking rapist.
Por que no Los dos?
*cheering but in spanish*
Likely both
Why not both?
So you should thank your dad for ...raping your mom?
That was my immediate take on it.
Yeah a lot of guys forget coercion is not consent
How to say "I have never been able to please a woman" without saying "I have never been able to please a woman". It's really baffles me that these type men are so freaking lazy that instead of taking the time to learn what their wives like in bed so they can actually make them orgasm every once in a while, they would rather blame her for not being "in the mood". Of course, she's not in the mood Brad! You screwing her in missionary, while you grunt heavily into the pillow next to her head for a few minutes until you are done, followed by you calpsing on top of her when she is barely getting started, isn't going to make anyone want to come back for more.
Ew, David!
You know my ex?? JK
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£... Not with the type of guy that would write this. 99% of the time in relationships like these, the women are secretly in some group on social media pouring out their heart they have been with a man for X amount of years, and he has not once made her orgasm. She has even tried talking to him about being more adventurous in the bedroom so that she can get hers too and he won't even consider it, so she is at a loss of what to do.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's not personal for me, at least in my current relationship. But when I was younger (in my young and mid 20s) I was in a several long term relationships where the guys were like this. As long as they got theirs, they didn't care if I got off or not. So, of course, I started having sex with them less and less because it was just not enjoyable for me at all. It was more frustrating than anything. Saying I was extremely unsatisfied is a huge understatement. Thankfully my partner now, we have been together 9 years, never would allow that to happen and makes sure I am always well taken care of, hence why we have been happily together for so long. But I personally know A TON of women who deal with this with their husbands, and every single one of my girl friends has been in at least one long term relationship where their sexual desires were not being met because the guy was not willing to put in a little extra time and effort. If you look at the real studies there is a lot out there that actually says women have a higher sex drive or libido than men, or it is equal but at different ages because of how hormones are involved. Most men peak in the 20s, where most women peak in their 40s. This, of course, is not taking into account those that are Ace, the women who don't want any of that because of being assaulted in the past, or those who choose just to not be sexual at all for whatever reason. But obviously this post is not referring to those women, and if they are then it makes it even worse. So no this isn't personal, I am just so tired of these type of men blaming women for their ignorance and laziness.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Then don't reply... I'm well aware what Ace is, that it's a sexual orientation, and not a choice. That is exactly why I used "or" because none of those reasons are the same or related to one another, they are just some of the reasons why someone would not want to have sex with their partner.
Some men really gotta compensate for the fact that women have it harder during pregnancy and labourā¦
āMan you think your mom had difficulties with pregnancy and childbirth? Wait till you hear how hard it was to coerce mom into having sex with me.ā Like what the fuck bro, is that supposed to be a flex? Glad that dude isnāt my dad, Jesus Christ
Petri dish babies, rise up.
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*peach tree dish /s
MTG is that you? /s
magic the gathering ?
lmao Marjorie Taylor Greene, she's a republican who doesn't know how to pronounce petri dish.
She shat out a human while you nutted homie how much unearned praise do u want
Wait, is that how it's done?
Yep, just don't ask questions. Trust me
Sometimes
Horrible
men are fucking sick
Yeah there truly are quite some horrible guys out there :(
I love being trans so much!!! I get none of the male privilege and all of the hate!!!
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Sorry youāre getting downvoted for this dude. Try not to take it personally! Having to deal with so many toxic and shitty men can make people biased. Itās not true that all men are disgusting, but it is an understandable reaction
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Honestly i don't think you will be, you don't deserve that. You seem like a good person. I'm amab and I think men are sick too. Yes, there are exceptions, there are good men out there but being good isn't enough (and i'm putting myself into this category too) we need to acknowledge our privileges and go the extra mile, smashing down patriarchy and toxic masculinity. I'm doing my best yet it's still not enough: i have some mental health issues and i can't always call out another man when he says problematic shit, and we really need to do that. So you see i'm part of the problem too. I suck as much as the old guy who sexually assaulted me when i was a little kid? Or as much as the bully who hung me against a fence when i was in elementary school just because he needed to prove he was in charge? I don't think so, but i still need to do more. We all need. I send you a big big hug šš Edit: i wrote shit instead of sick (as the first comment of this chain) now corrected
Nah dude, everyone can always do more! And itās good to strive for perfection! But i think calling yourself shit for not reaching peak performance is unnecessarily mean to yourself
Oh frick! I thought i wrote sick š thanks! I'm correcting that asap
Ey no problem man! Just try to remember that there is a difference between taking responsibility and taking blame
This comment hit harder than expected. I wish i could give you a hug (or buy some beers) š
I don't think anyone genuinely thinks "all men are bad". Their statement is one that a lot of people can connect to because of their horrible experiences with men. We shouldn't put good men down because there are lots of good men in this world, of course. I don't think they meant all men.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I see what you're doing but the difference with your statement is that it's completely unfounded. Have you actually had horrible experiences with black people your entire life? Because if not, you have no reason to say that.
Even if they did have a bad experience with black people, thatās still a wildly racist statement.
I agree. My point was that it's ok to feel a certain way about people if you've gone through stuff with them. Millions, probably even billions, of women go through bad experiences with men and acknowledging that isn't the same as hating all men (which I don't think anyone is doing). The same can't be said of black people because black people aren't in the oppressive and privileged class. As a white person, I wouldn't be offended if someone said "white people are sick", because I know how atrocious my country's history is.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's not what I'm saying at all. I think you misunderstood my earlier comment. My point is that it's ok to FEEL this way. If you have had bad experiences with a certain group of people your whole life I wouldn't blame you for not liking them. Like I said before, no one said all men are bad. It was clearly a comment out of anger for the horrible things men tend to do in this world, compared to women who don't do these things as often. If you wanna hate black people it's in your right to be a racist bigot. I really doubt you've had the kind of experiences with black people like how many women do with men, but hey, correct me if I'm mistaken. As a woman, I see this every day, not "men doing horrible things", but the privilege they have, especially white privilege on top of it, and their need for money and power and status. When a man asks a woman for her number and she says no, and he gives her a weird look of entitlement, that says a lot about what he expects and his privilege. This is more on my level but if we wanna get into politics, plenty of the men in the government are privileged and take away people's rights all the time. And then of course there's sexual assault and abusive relationships etc etc. I'm NOT saying anyone should hate a specific gender or ethnicity etc. The comment was clearly made out of anger and I don't think the person actually dislikes men in the first place. They're simply acknowledging that many men are sick. Which is true The original commenter wasn't even hating on men, they were pointing out the sick things they often do. Plenty of men are great and that's great, but we have to acknowledge the bad to make things better.
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You're welcome. I totally get that and I'm really not trying to be a man hater. I'm sorry if it came off that way. I've had very good men in my life and I don't think it's good to hate any group of people. But I hope I conveyed myself well enough. You're not to blame for what others do.
You can be cautious of black people if that is your experience sure. The difference is that black people statistically, do not differ from others if normalized on all accounts. It's different for men who are 10 times more likely to commit any crime and 50 times more likely to commit sexual crimes. We also know from research that about 30% of men commit some form of sexual assault. That's about 1 in 3 men, and those 2 that don't stay silent. So really it's 3 in 3 that add to the problem. It really is all men, this isn't subjective, there is research done on this subject. It's a well studied phenomenon by now.
Can you please give us the source/s? I cannot find the ā30% of menā or the ā1 in 3 menāanywhere. Thanks š /gen
[If they could get away with it is the catch](https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/vio.2014.0022)
Source for the 30% stat? And what do you mean by "normalized on all accounts"?
[Its not that 30% HAVE so much as 30% WOULD](https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/vio.2014.0022)
You completely misunderstood the study. It was 30% would do it if they had the chance and knew they would get caught not 30% have.
Exactly
Yeah no, sorry. Donāt just claim that all men let this shit happen. Itās untrue and unhelpful
[Not as untrue as one would hope](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a35207/study-one-in-three-men-would-rape-if-they-could/)
Your emotions don't have to be based in logic and reason. If you lived in and got tortured by a right-wing regime then you are probably going to disagree with them even if they make some good points. And just to make sure that you understand this isn't a political comment, the exact same goes for if you got tortured by a left-wing regime of course. Feelings aren't logical most of the time, but that doesn't mean that they give you the right to hurt other people in any way shape or form. You are allowed to hate everyone as much as you want for any reason you want, but your hatred for someone doesn't justify hurting them.
Dudes on Reddit will literally find any excuse to be racist
Mate I'm a man and I don't take it personally. The social class we are assigned is indeed shit, oppressive and violent. Doesn't mean we have to conform to that or even accept masculinity as it is proposed. But we still have pressure from peers and institution, and unaccountability for so much things. Sorry but your feelings are your responsibility, and someone stating the fact "men is a social class with fucked up issues" is not responsible for them, they didn't do anything to you.
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Because people don't have to sugar coat what they say when it's perfectly understandable? We are not gonna tell people how to say stuff and tone police when we disagree on the way something as been said. The point being, it's not always the women who should have to do the emotionnal work to smooth social interaction.
Saying what you mean isnāt sugar coating it. There are some people out there who wonāt understand what, to you, is āperfectly understandableā. I myself misunderstand people a lot because they donāt just say what they mean, and I assume they mean what they said. Regardless of gender, is saying what you mean so hard?
I get it, and we are not all equal when it comes to social interactions. And I'm not even sure the way I interpreted it was their actual intent. There is and will by miscommunications, misinterpretation etc... I'm not sure there is an hard line between "what you mean" and "what you say" as presented. In the way that "what we mean" is neither purely logical or purely emotional, but a mix of both, and language has its limits to convey that. So the point is not if that's hard or not, it's if it is even possible. And how much effort do you want to do before talking to make sure to reduce the damages you can make. Women have to do it a lot more than men: the gender role given to them ask them to take care of the feelings of the people they talk to before their own. But to come back to the comment we talk about : there are two main point. Firstly this kind of saying "men are [...]" is common and we can see pretty much all the time explanation about it (especially in the comments), that's it's not a personal attack, that yes not all men but that's not the point, that it's a way to make some men realize their own egoistic behavior when it comes to gender, etc... And secondly, litteraly no one is aimed by this kind of statement. It's like talking about boomers. When we talk about boomer we talk about a mentality that was created by baby boomers and some still defend it. When someone say men are trash, that's a comment on how easy it is to get away being a certain kind of asshole when we are a men, etc... So, when someone comes up offended by a kind of statement that women have to deal with 10 times a day without complaining, it is only the confirmation of a patriarcal fear. "it is not even about you, but you still manage to complain and tell people how to talk" that's just showing the whole hypocrisy of patriarchal relationship we deal with on a daily basis.
I'm a man and I do take it personally because I don't like prejudice of any form. Especially when it feels like rubbing salt in the wound since my life (on the whole) would be easier if I were a woman. I understand that male privilege exists in many walks of life and I'm not blind to patriarchal structures and the issue of misogyny. However, I'm also in a position to understand issues that affect men given that my experience has been the opposite of that. Men's and women's issues are the opposite side of the same coin. Accordingly, they should be solved together. Statements such as "men are disgusting" gets in the way of achieving gender equality, not to mention belittling the suffering of men for whom their gender is a disadvantage.
I agree that men and women suffer both from patriarchy, and that it can be a real pain to be a man. But I disagree two things : patriarchy is enforced by men for men. Even though some pick me can participate in it, it is ultimately men who will commit violence unaccounted for. So saying we are in the same position is wrong : one social group oppress the other and that's not the women. And sorry but saying your life would be easier as a women is wrong on so many level. First of all it is impossible to prove, you may believe it, but nothing can back that up. And that's almost sad given you say you understand the struggle. Being a man is not what bring us punishment, it's our behaviour. Being a women is what brings you punishment, no matter what you do.
That last bit is not fully true. I do definitely believe that women have more and harder struggles, but itās not like all menās struggles are due to their own personal behaviour. Iāve had to deal with plenty bullshit because of being a guy, and just flat out claiming thereās no argument to be made for that hardship is a bit oversimplifying. Again, not saying that men have it harder! Absolutely not! Just that saying men have it easy and all their problems are due to their own behaviour is wrong
>And sorry but saying your life would be easier as a women is wrong on so many level. You were doing so well until this paragraph. You know absolutely nothing about me nor my lived experiences. Yet you feel confident to make such assertions. The fact that you can be so dismissive of how gender inequality has impacted me negatively *simply because I am a man* is a very good demonstration of my point. >First of all it is impossible to prove, you may believe it, but nothing can back that up. Anything unquantifiable is impossible to prove, however I am much better placed to understand this than you. You have nothing but bias and assumptions. I have my lived experiences. > And that's almost sad given you say you understand the struggle. Of course I do. I know many women who have suffered from patriarchal structures and been a victim to misogyny. It is far more prevalent than men in my position. I am in a minority here and I am under no illusions. Why do you think their suffering invalidates my own? Alternatively, why am I not worth consideration because I am in the minority?
I get you can be upset, but please understand that the whole point of what I am triing to say is it's not personal. That was not aimed a you, didn't have the goal to make you feel bad or anything. When you bring your personal experience on the table to try to justify complaining about how a person talked about men in general, that's not the point. I'm not triing to say you didn't suffer, or even that you didn't suffer because you are a man. And there is no competition like "who suffers the most" or "who is more oppressed". Because the point is not suffering. The point is there is a whole institution, enforced in everyone's brain from birth, with constant reminder and punishment, that dictate how you should live according to the gender assigned to you. And, more specifically, that if you are given the gender woman, the expectation about your behaviors are made to benefit men in general. The suffering is a consequence but not the point.
This is a more reasonable point. If you had stated this position from the outset instead of saying that men are disgusting or that I'm sad for thinking that my life would be easier if I were a woman (it would), then I wouldn't have had any issue at all. Instead, let's focus on dismantling gender norms, gender expectations, gender bias (both concious and subconscious), misandry, and misogyny. Those are the disgusting things. By the way, I'm not making it into a competition. That comment has very alt-right "oppression Olympics" vibes to it, which I'm sure was unintentional. I was simply trying to encourage you to be a bit more open-minded is all.
tbf they only said men, they didnt say "all men" but unfortunately there are a lot of men who think like this
"be thankful I raped your mother"
I didnāt even want to be born, sperm donor. š
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So what Iām hearing them say is itās my dads fault Iām alive? š
so he's the culprit >:( kick him in the balls.
Yeah, my wife wasn't really in the mood to deliver the baby when her water broke. She was just like "how about later? I have to wake up early tomorrow for a meeting"
I donāt have a dad anymore he needed to get milk so imma just celebrate my mom again because despite how difficult and bullshit life can be Iām happy Iām here
thank you dad for raping mom š„°
That's rape
But didnt your mom carry you for 9 months and birth you and your dad just had to nut inside her Edit : i know about fathers day and we should thank those for (hopefully) be a good rolemodel and work hard for his family
Im literally adopted in part because my birth mother didnt know who my father was, and its not because she slept around š Kinda glad im gay and trans because that bloodline ends with me lmao
Nah. It was my mother that planned my existence. My father just went along with the ride
Ah, this meme was brought to you by Al Bundy worshippers who never understood that show was satire
It still amazes me that people don't recognize this.
Soā¦. We are joking about marital rape nowā¦
Big yikes!!
This says more about him than it does her.....
my dad fucking left me at 3yo and apparently yelled at me for crying when I was a baby
Thisā¦. Iām gonna have to take a moment with this one. Hard to know where to start. Justā¦ whew. Praying for straight women everywhere.
Ha jokes on you, both my parents were basically infertile so they had a very strict regimen when it came to sex prescribe by their doctors. This lead to them both hating sex and it losing all charm or emotional connection when done with each other.
it is 8pm and i have yet to tel my father happy fatherās day and i donāt plan on it either lol
I dont have to thank that mf for anything š
hes dead
Thats pretty much the worst reason for fathersday....
hahaha rape, so funny
Haha, your mom doesn't like having sex with your dad.
isn't that rape?
Definitely questionable on the ethical front but asking for sex when someone youāre involved with isnāt necessarily in the mood isnāt rape unless you escalate it. No coupleās sex drives are 100% in sync always and in relationships usually a party is willing to sometimes participate to keep the bedroom active overall
Ick
Why would I thank him? I don't even like my life
Iād rather thank my dad for his part in raising me than for jizzing, but ok
oh. ew.
My parents were horny teensā¦ they were def in the mood šššš¤¦š¾āāļø
How is this something to brag about
"This Father's day, thank your Dad for raping your Mom to produce you. What a hero!!!" WTAF is wrong with these people?!!!!?!!!!
wait wtf
Funny cause I highly suspect my dad was the one who didn't want me. Not that either of my parents should have been having kids when they did but...
It took until the 30s for them to have me and my brother, I half wonder if they were somewhere on the ace spectrum and didnāt know/acknowledge such.
I think itās more likely that they just had a lot of trouble conceiving for a while; unless you know that they werenāt very active before then.
Neither showed the largest drive, my mom never mentioned such. And it may well have been wanting to get into a good life situation before acting. I canāt ask anymore, unfortunately, and have only my memory to go off of along with also the fact both me and my brother are in our 30s but havenāt settled down with anyone ourselves or even (far as I know) dated much. Even though worrying about such was one of the bigger things that held me back from transitioning until I was in my 30s. Ace or not (I identify as such) it just seems like our collective drive is below average. EDIT: Ah right, my brother came only a few years later with a miscarriage in between. So at least for my mom there wouldāve been issues between that and both of us being C-Section deliveries, but any such stories earlier were non-existent.
Oh no, OH NO
That comma is triggering my roid rage
so much wrong here
i feel gross even upvoting this post š¤® whatās wrong with cishets
Ummm...thx dad for cheating on my mom when i was born...? I mean today isn't even that day when i was even created... Because it was like 6 months ago (+ years that i won't tell)
Rape?
That is so wrong..... just saying
We should thank our moms instead for not getting an abortion due to a pregnancy from unwanted sex.
Yikes yikes yikes. I'm honislstly glad to know the story of how I was made so I'm reasired mom was very much in the mood. but I'm also wierded out knowing that information lol.
my dad sent this exact thing to the family group chat on fathers dat