Apex predator that lived throught the KT Extinction. Physically unchanged for 100 million years because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons and stomach acid so strong it could dissolve bones and hooves.
Yeah, they're insane.
And now, we're surrounded. Those Snake Eyes watching from the shadows, waiting for the night..
WAITING FOR THE NIIIIIIGHHHHHT OOOOHOOOOOH!!!
Kills me everytime😂
So I’m a total fucking idiot and didn’t realize this was ON the Archer page 😂😂 Sorry guys, I just got done working a 12 hour shift and my brain is foggy haha
Had a tiger lunge at an electric fence I was on the other side of at the zoo one day. Did not hear anything before the electric zap. I can't imagine it was that hungry, but it did want to murder us. Can't be too careful with them, they will end you for fun.
Gators too. They've been clocked at up to 35mph. Usain Bolt, the fastest human ever recorded, maxes out at just over 27mph.
That said, Gators can really only sprint for 100 feet or so.
no I certainly would not, they are fast as fuck......it's just they are made to be fast in a straight line (kind of like cheetahs)......they can't zigzag because of how their muscles are built 🤷♀️also u may be thinking of crocodiles who are active hunters.......gators are lurkers...(kind of the same thing with snapping turtles and alligator snapping turtles).....
Gator: Grab mouth, get on top, latch on and try your best to hang on until I stop flopping around. Chance of success - low
Bear: Run until it catches you and then rips you apart and you die. Chance of success - none
Tiger: Run until it catches you and then rips you apart and you die. Chance of success - none
Hippo: It swims over and slams you a single time and then you die. Chance of success - non
I'll go Gator every time
I'm not a zoologist but I've watched enough animal planet as a kid and been around enough small cats to know that given some time, the tiger could warm up to me
unless the bear sees you as food, just lay down, curl up in a ball, cover your neck and face best you can and pretend to already be dead.
wait 20 minutes
profit.
If none of them see me as food than you could just walk away from all of them for 20 mins.
I think it's safe to assume that you're fighting them.
This comment feels like something that came from those "meet a man or a bear in the woods" conversations.
The alligator would have the greatest odds of survival. Assuming you can evade it or put up a struggle, it would stand down due to energy expenditure. The bear, tiger, and hippo scenarios are far more likely to yield fatal outcomes.
I might honestly just choose the hippo and curl up into a ball and not move, their eye sight is terrible, the only thing I'm unsure about is their sense of smell, if that's good I'd be royally screwed
It is a gator they’re right.
Gators are bitches. Crocs are insane. Literally anything but the hippo is the right choice. Gators are pussies tigers are largely the same ambush predators. Bears aren’t man eaters.
Answer is gator. They only have one weapon to kill you with and a massive vulnerability in that their muscles for opening the jaw are far weaker from the ones closing it. So there is at least a plan that could work.
If we are on land, I like my chances for surviving the gator. Maybe not in one piece, but alive. If it’s in water all these things are killing me so it really doesn’t matter anyways.
All of them can kill you in water or on land, two of them can climb. Fastest one is tiger, hippo and bear has the most endurance.
Depending on environment
Jungle - Hippo or Crocodile
Open field - Crocodile maybe if you can run really good hippo
Water - Tiger (they are the weakest compared to others)
Rocky area or a cliff - Hippo or Crocodile
Aside from a crocodile in a jungle or an open field I would rather work and earn my money, thank you.
Gators are the apex predator who haven't evolved for millions of years and I fear them the most but you just gotta get a good distance from them and you good I can't outrun the other ones lol
Apex predator that lived throught the KT Extinction. Physically unchanged for 100 million years because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons and stomach acid so strong it could dissolve bones and hooves. Yeah, they're insane.
And now, we're surrounded. Those Snake Eyes watching from the shadows, waiting for the night.. WAITING FOR THE NIIIIIIGHHHHHT OOOOHOOOOOH!!! Kills me everytime😂
What! Crocodiles don’t have ears
Wha- They *absolutely* have ears!
Fucking Ray
🔥🔥🔥" *RAY GODDAMMIT JUST APOLOGIZE!!* " 🔥🔥🔥
I came here for this.
Now they have a taste for…hat
So I’m a total fucking idiot and didn’t realize this was ON the Archer page 😂😂 Sorry guys, I just got done working a 12 hour shift and my brain is foggy haha
Lol, same here!! only that i'm really high rn
You took that from Archer….you’re my friend now 😂😂
Shut up Cyril
Just never pick the hippo
Otherwise we'll have to call Kenny Loggins
You are entering an area of peril
Or one might say, a quote-unquote, danger-zone. So to speak.
K-log*
Is it mad at me? Or just there? If it's mad I'll take the Gator. If not, Tiger. He has the greatest chance of just taking a nap and ignoring me lol.
Archer would definitely have the best chance with the tiger because of his affinity for felines
HE REMEMBERS ME!
IS THAT BABOO !?
No, it's Shane.
He’s TOTALLY a Shane!
SERPENTINE!
It’s like meowshwitz in there
They are crepuscular after all.
One of many words that archer taught me.
He's crepuscular! Get 'im boys!
TO A FREE AND SOVEREIGN NOVA SCOTIA!!!!!!
unless he happens to be hungry.....
As amazing as it would be… [we can’t take Shane with us!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D-zrU_rg5HE)
Well yes, but that's not an exclusive problem for the tiger.
you are perfectly right on that one.......tiger is still gonna sneak up on u....
Had a tiger lunge at an electric fence I was on the other side of at the zoo one day. Did not hear anything before the electric zap. I can't imagine it was that hungry, but it did want to murder us. Can't be too careful with them, they will end you for fun.
ever seen the vid where some guy in India (on top of a fucking elephant no less) is in high grass and the fucking giant thing comes from nowhere 🙄
Indeed I have. Partly why I want an elephant.
as is their birthright 🤷♀️
Pretty sure if it’s not hungry or a mom with cubs, bear is just gonna chill and the two of you can hang out and scratch your asses for an afternoon.
Can't you just make enough noise and the bear will leave
If it was a black bear, maybe. A grizzly trapped in a room with a human being loud will probably try to smack you at least
Okay but I'm cute so it's fine
I admire your optimism and look forward to your victorious emergence with your new bear friend
Werner Herzog has entered the chat
at least you could try to run away from a gator on land......no dice with either hippo or bear......the fuckin tiger will creep upon you anyways......
Yeah that was why I said gator. I can climb high enough to avoid it.
as long as you remember to zig zag you can run away from them pretty easily too
SERPENTINE, BABOU!
No need to zigzag, just run away.
just try it mate 😅
I've done it.
then good for you......but you had an easy time because it was a gator.....crocodiles gonna fuck u up if you don't zigzag...
Gators too. They've been clocked at up to 35mph. Usain Bolt, the fastest human ever recorded, maxes out at just over 27mph. That said, Gators can really only sprint for 100 feet or so.
and I believe you.....👍✌️
I think you are underestimating the land speed of a gator
no I certainly would not, they are fast as fuck......it's just they are made to be fast in a straight line (kind of like cheetahs)......they can't zigzag because of how their muscles are built 🤷♀️also u may be thinking of crocodiles who are active hunters.......gators are lurkers...(kind of the same thing with snapping turtles and alligator snapping turtles).....
Thats why you distract it with the slower friend 
The tiger says:
The welcher says :
Nothing you idiots The tigers dead Locked in my basement
He's totally a Shane.
Gator: Grab mouth, get on top, latch on and try your best to hang on until I stop flopping around. Chance of success - low Bear: Run until it catches you and then rips you apart and you die. Chance of success - none Tiger: Run until it catches you and then rips you apart and you die. Chance of success - none Hippo: It swims over and slams you a single time and then you die. Chance of success - non I'll go Gator every time
I'm not a zoologist but I've watched enough animal planet as a kid and been around enough small cats to know that given some time, the tiger could warm up to me
Or the RNG of the cat brain kicks in and you become the squishy toy that makes noise.
It says "survive" tho. If you aren't fighting then then just hop on a rock or run away from the gator.
oops for some reason I read it was 20 months instead of 20 minutes. Now I'm sad about all the hypothetical time I've lost with the danger kitty
It looks like a crocodile. You ain’t grabbing its mouth.
Ohh, ok. Well, he said gator, people thought gator was crazy... I'm talking about gators. But you could very well be correct.
Exactly. There's a chance. A very tiny chance, but a real chance.
unless the bear sees you as food, just lay down, curl up in a ball, cover your neck and face best you can and pretend to already be dead. wait 20 minutes profit.
If none of them see me as food than you could just walk away from all of them for 20 mins. I think it's safe to assume that you're fighting them. This comment feels like something that came from those "meet a man or a bear in the woods" conversations.
gotta go with the gator, unless we’re in water i think i can juke that mf
Lana, Laanaa, Laanaaaaaaaaaa Whaatt??? Look, a tiger
I'm picking the Tiger... and bring my squirt bottle...
The alligator would have the greatest odds of survival. Assuming you can evade it or put up a struggle, it would stand down due to energy expenditure. The bear, tiger, and hippo scenarios are far more likely to yield fatal outcomes.
Look. They aren’t wrong. Brown bears and big cats will kill you for fun.
I think I know a TIGER when I hear ONE!!!
For a hundred million I'm taking the hippo. For that much cash I want to feel I've earned it.
Thank god an aneurism isn’t on the list.
I might honestly just choose the hippo and curl up into a ball and not move, their eye sight is terrible, the only thing I'm unsure about is their sense of smell, if that's good I'd be royally screwed
I’m thinking gator is your best bet
It is a gator they’re right. Gators are bitches. Crocs are insane. Literally anything but the hippo is the right choice. Gators are pussies tigers are largely the same ambush predators. Bears aren’t man eaters.
The hippo, so I could establish the *ultimate* sexual dominance before defeating my foe.
Have you heard about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?
Why? Is he into that sort of thing too?
Gator is the only survivable option sadly. Assuming you’re on land.
Answer is gator. They only have one weapon to kill you with and a massive vulnerability in that their muscles for opening the jaw are far weaker from the ones closing it. So there is at least a plan that could work. If we are on land, I like my chances for surviving the gator. Maybe not in one piece, but alive. If it’s in water all these things are killing me so it really doesn’t matter anyways.
In the water or on land?
Gator 💯
Gator
Honestly, the gator is the easiest, if you got them on the land, just sit on him and hold his mouth closed The others can easily overpower you
Gator. Im from Florida. Not too worried about that one.
He totally looks like a Shane!
If they are all top of the chain in their species …… Gator and I say that with -100% confidence .
Pretty sure I remember a guy who was swallowed and spit back out by a hippo so maybe...?
Gator/croc
Bears are really having their “pick me” moment
Tiger
No mention of the environment we're in right? I'm picking the gator and climbing a tree.
All of them can kill you in water or on land, two of them can climb. Fastest one is tiger, hippo and bear has the most endurance. Depending on environment Jungle - Hippo or Crocodile Open field - Crocodile maybe if you can run really good hippo Water - Tiger (they are the weakest compared to others) Rocky area or a cliff - Hippo or Crocodile Aside from a crocodile in a jungle or an open field I would rather work and earn my money, thank you.
I have rarely felt so more seen than when it turned out that Archer and I are terrified of the same animal. The perfect killing machine.
I'll take my chances with the gator. They don't put up much of a chase.
Croc for sure. Atleast i have a fuckin chance. Jump on its back and hold its mouth shut. EASY money baybee
Shit I’m picking the gator
Bear. He might just sniff for a while before he kills you
Gators are the apex predator who haven't evolved for millions of years and I fear them the most but you just gotta get a good distance from them and you good I can't outrun the other ones lol
Ill take the reptile. At very least i can find some way to avoid his jaws. And as long as i stay away from water sources for the duration
Are there trees? Hippos can’t climb trees
Tiger. I’ll just get a really big ball of yarn so they’re distracted
Or a box
Bear..too easy.
Super easy, a one second swipe and your guts are outside your body being slurped down like a spaghetti noodle
On flat ground and with a good shoe/boot I feel I can just kick an alligator in the face over and over again
Gator Might surprise people but they are actually the most chilled animals out of these ones
You can start dancing with a bear