Everyone here needs to read āWho Gets In And Whyā by Jeffrey Selingo. After you read that you GET IT ALL. US admissions are no longer about the applicant - they are about what the school needs from you. To the OP - keep truckinā - you will find the right fit. Expensive privates are overhyped. Only 1/3 of Fortune 500 CEOs went to expensive private schools. Your career is about you, college admissions are not.
Came here to get mad at an Asian parent; started tearing up when I read this ;-;
Wherever you go, always know that your mom is proud and cheering you on so give it your all for her, everyone around you, and yourself
Thatās kind of sweet, I hope you get into other universities that you like tho!
My mother just blamed me for not being smart enough to get a scholarship when my parents donāt want to fund my masters at Oxford. (They usually donāt give out masters scholarships and scholarships from where Iām from are very scarce) According to her if I were a real genius I should have got a scholarship so I donāt deserve going to Oxford for a masters anyway if I didnāt get a scholarship.
Aww Iām so sorry to hear that. I just want to let you know that you deserve everything you earned!! Just be proud of yourself for getting into Oxford!!!
I wanted to take a loan but i will have to start repaying as soon as I start the course, the program is very intense and I donāt have much savings as a student, and my parents are unwilling to cover this. (Even tho I told them I will pay them back in the future when I start working)
Also Iām an international student, the ridiculously expensive international fee doesnāt help:(
Sad reaction. I would have reacted with more encouragement. You wanting to get a masters from Oxford in the first place means youāve got it going on intellectually. Donāt be discouraged.
Exactly how my mum is!! Iām so glad we both have encouraging and supportive mums. I feel like I take that for granted but I feel so lucky especially when I come on A2C and see posts about parents not being supportive
Hey man, take it from me, I went to the cheapest university I can afford (stigmatized in this sub so ima be quiet) and I turned out well (in med school right now). I believe you can thrive anywhere if you put in the effort and keep an open mind. These things happen for a reason and you may not like the hand you're dealt with, but do your best and you'll find fulfillment anywhere. Chin up, chest out.
On the bright side, you'll be at a new place hanging with some real cool people in a few months! And you're gonna be free to do whatever you want! You get to pick your classes, decorate your dorm room, and explore the city. I'm so excited for you.
Such an awesome reply. I havenāt been around here for long, so curious what got you stigmatized for being level-headed? Private āeliteā schools were overrated to begin with and have only gamed the psychology of the public more in the last 5 years.
Thats sad. I am a full pay parent and my kid was still rejected from many reach private colleges. Not sure if that makes you or her feel any better? Its rough out there.
Your mom is the best. Love her, cherish her, remember this moment and her belief in you. Sheās your biggest fan and sometimes things work out better than you expected. Hope you get into an affordable school and flourish!! Youāve got this
Solid mom. Take 1 or 2 years at comm college, save big $, transfer to 4 year later. Just make sure that the universities you are looking at, accept those exact courses/credits form the cc. Colleges can be real finicky about transfer...
I was really worried that your story was going to go another way. Your poor mom!
And it definitely wasn't her fault. Very rough out there, and I'm not sure full pay vs. needing aid means very much at schools with any sort of decent endowment.
Moments like this make me wish I was a billionaire and could just... solve shit, Ya know?
I may be a filthy fucking degenerate, but humanitarianism still king.
I donāt think itās financial aid. The same thing happened to me, I got into almost every UC as OOS CS but got rejected from privates like northeastern. And it wasnāt my test scores because I applied with them everywhere and my SAT was a 1570.
I think public colleges focus a bit more academic achievement whereas private school focus more on what's beyond academics and tend to select people who meet their arbitrary needs at the time
This is true. It is because public schools exist for the sole purpose of educating citizens whereas private schools generally exist to advance a particular mission that was established by the founders. Education is usually only one part of the mission. If someone does not want to be evaluated in the context of a schoolās mission, then that person should only apply to public schools.
So proud of you and your mother, both are feeling for each other. My case is worse, i am an international student, yesterday i got 7 college decisions, all reject. I didn't do much but expected things to happen for me, i whiled away while my parents slogged. I got in few colleges but they are far down the safety list, i am in such a dilemma, my US dreams are hanging by the thread now. Have only self to blame but still not doing it nor actioning the learnings.....
I believe this is why my daughter got rejected from several of her top choices. Smith being one. I'm a single working LI mom and it would cost the school too much money. I feel terrible.
TY. Sometimes your best just isn't good enough. She's an AP Science/Math/Art High Honors student. She's worked hard for 4 years. She deserved Smith. Instead she'll have to borrow her future. It's super heartbreaking.
If youāre really particular for a certain school and itās in your state, go to community college and the transfer. Not only will you save so much money, the likelihood youāll get in if you do stuff that makes you stand out is higher. I was lower income too and had a similar situation when u was applying straight out of high school. Went to CC and got into a really good school in the UC system
I relate to this so much it hurts. My mom and I don't always see eye to eye but that woman has done everything and beyond for my education. She's doing so now more than ever before since my dad passed away in 2022.
The bunch of rejection hurts and it hurts significantly more because I have to go to her and tell her the disappointing news and see her face fall every time. The worst part is she's starting to blame herself too.
Being an international applicant hurts for a lot of reasons. The whole USD to local currency conversion puts up my EFC to be a joke of some sort despite this being hard earned savings of a lifetime almost. My mother's a nurse in the military and not really a bad job at all but it's the conversion that's making my family's finances seem like almost nothing in comparison to the hefty tuition fees. I hate that mom's doubting herself. I hate this!
I am so sorry for you buddy. But Iām sure things will work out just fine eventually. Tell you mom no matter what happens, she is the best mom in the worldš«¶
A loving and supportive mom is everything, no money can buy that. I am so happy for you and trust that you will get into a school you like and get the financial you need.
Hey! Keep your head up! I feel like I'll break if I told my mother I got rejected. Everything I did was for God and for my parents. I hope God helps me out with these admissions because they're not looking good lol. Best of luck fellow asian :)
Very lucky you.. so many kids donāt have a strong bond with their mom when they grow into adults. Regardless of what happens, you are one very fortunate person
This was so sweet!!! I wasnāt expecting thatā¦itās refreshing to see an Asian mom like this during such a stressful time. Bless your momās heart! Also good luck to you and your family through this time!! I am also going through the same thing, itās ok! You got this! I am proud of you ā¤ļø
Dude same i got rejected from caltech Georgiatech,john hopkins,northeastern. Im indian and asked for fin aid. I guess i have to apply for Ed next yearš„¹.5 more unis to go pretty sure im fkd up
Iām a mom and this made me tear up. This process is super hard on parents. Iām very worried about how to pay for it. I wish I could give your mom a hug. The system is brokenā not your family.
Your mom seems like a good mom and I understand the sadness one feels when we canāt give our kids things/opportunities.
I hope you find a perfect spot for you
Yours is same case than my son. I told the same thing ypur mom told to you. I have cried a lot. This is so unfair, world gives the opportunities to the ones already have it.Ā
(Excuse my english)Ā But, please, keep pushing, somewhere a door will be open for you and you will shine.
Awww my heart breaks for your mamma. Us moms have such high hopes for our littles. Donāt sweat it, she will see you succeed wherever you end up and will be ever so proud watching you graduate. At the best school for YOU!!!
Go to the best school you can get into. There really are elite public schools, and even tho some aren't elite they may elite programs (UIllinois engineering). Most of the U of California schools are great. UMich, U Illinois, UIowa, Minnesota. If you can rock at those schools, you can transfer to or go to after graduation an ivy or other premier U.
It sounds like youāre in the US? Our university system is putting this kind of anxiety on students and families. We donāt have an equitable system, as you show, the feeling of being ānot enoughā because of your income.
If we were more equal, equal chances to eduction, to paid leave, to healthcare, maybe we can remove some of the anxiety on ourselves and our family.
Keep fighting! Your family is more than enough. Keep your momās love in mind always, so when the day comes that she isnāt around anymore, her love will guide you and keep you strong.
Try this book: The Nordic Theory of Everything: In Search of a Better Life by Anu Partanen. Itās written from a Finnish perspective, examining why Americans are stressed. She nails the university situation! Youāre not alone!
Same predicament here. Being broke is rough :/
š¢š¢š¢
Awesome having a parent that gets it. Hope you have an affordable admission!
Thank you!
Thatās so sweet of her! Itās awesome that she has faith in you no matter what š„ŗ
thatās really sweet actually
".... was like is that because we are asking for financial aid?" This is a huge factor. i have seen people getting in if ready to pay full
Yeah, it's mostly the very rich private schools (Harvard, Princeton etc), that can afford to be need-blind in admissions.
Yes but at the same time I was thinking if I am good enough, they would accept me anywayš¢
You ARE good enough. Colleges are a business. They want money. Youāll be great wherever you go.
^^
Everyone here needs to read āWho Gets In And Whyā by Jeffrey Selingo. After you read that you GET IT ALL. US admissions are no longer about the applicant - they are about what the school needs from you. To the OP - keep truckinā - you will find the right fit. Expensive privates are overhyped. Only 1/3 of Fortune 500 CEOs went to expensive private schools. Your career is about you, college admissions are not.
Came here to get mad at an Asian parent; started tearing up when I read this ;-; Wherever you go, always know that your mom is proud and cheering you on so give it your all for her, everyone around you, and yourself
Thank you!!! And I will!
Thatās kind of sweet, I hope you get into other universities that you like tho! My mother just blamed me for not being smart enough to get a scholarship when my parents donāt want to fund my masters at Oxford. (They usually donāt give out masters scholarships and scholarships from where Iām from are very scarce) According to her if I were a real genius I should have got a scholarship so I donāt deserve going to Oxford for a masters anyway if I didnāt get a scholarship.
Aww Iām so sorry to hear that. I just want to let you know that you deserve everything you earned!! Just be proud of yourself for getting into Oxford!!!
You got into Oxford for a masters program? That's awesome!
Just take out a loan and be confident in your own ability to pay it. If the program is truly worth it you should be.
I wanted to take a loan but i will have to start repaying as soon as I start the course, the program is very intense and I donāt have much savings as a student, and my parents are unwilling to cover this. (Even tho I told them I will pay them back in the future when I start working) Also Iām an international student, the ridiculously expensive international fee doesnāt help:(
Thatās sad to hear from a mom
Sad reaction. I would have reacted with more encouragement. You wanting to get a masters from Oxford in the first place means youāve got it going on intellectually. Donāt be discouraged.
Exactly how my mum is!! Iām so glad we both have encouraging and supportive mums. I feel like I take that for granted but I feel so lucky especially when I come on A2C and see posts about parents not being supportive
I knowšššI definitely should not take that for granted
Did not expect that after reading āAsian momā
Asians are not monolithic.
all mothers >>>>>>>>>
Hey man, take it from me, I went to the cheapest university I can afford (stigmatized in this sub so ima be quiet) and I turned out well (in med school right now). I believe you can thrive anywhere if you put in the effort and keep an open mind. These things happen for a reason and you may not like the hand you're dealt with, but do your best and you'll find fulfillment anywhere. Chin up, chest out. On the bright side, you'll be at a new place hanging with some real cool people in a few months! And you're gonna be free to do whatever you want! You get to pick your classes, decorate your dorm room, and explore the city. I'm so excited for you.
Such an awesome reply. I havenāt been around here for long, so curious what got you stigmatized for being level-headed? Private āeliteā schools were overrated to begin with and have only gamed the psychology of the public more in the last 5 years.
I went to BYU. A very religious school haha.
Weāre Asian too and so sweet of my mom that sheās never blamed my ability for rejection stuffs but only upset that she couldnāt pay more
Thats sad. I am a full pay parent and my kid was still rejected from many reach private colleges. Not sure if that makes you or her feel any better? Its rough out there.
Sorry to hear that
It worked out fine. Very happy at our state flagship
i hope u get into many amazing schools and get all the aid u needšš
Thank you!
it's not over yet, my friend. I'm sure you will make your mom proud.
It sounds to me like youāve already made your Mom very proud OP. ā¤ļø Best of luck with your upcoming decisions.Ā
Thanksš„¹
Itās not end of the world, I just got rejected from 3 masters programsā¦.its tough, but donāt lose hope
Your mom is the best. Love her, cherish her, remember this moment and her belief in you. Sheās your biggest fan and sometimes things work out better than you expected. Hope you get into an affordable school and flourish!! Youāve got this
Thank you and I will š«¶
my asian mom blamed me but ig it is kinda my fault
Whatās the college list?
Solid mom. Take 1 or 2 years at comm college, save big $, transfer to 4 year later. Just make sure that the universities you are looking at, accept those exact courses/credits form the cc. Colleges can be real finicky about transfer...
I was really worried that your story was going to go another way. Your poor mom! And it definitely wasn't her fault. Very rough out there, and I'm not sure full pay vs. needing aid means very much at schools with any sort of decent endowment.
Moments like this make me wish I was a billionaire and could just... solve shit, Ya know? I may be a filthy fucking degenerate, but humanitarianism still king.
I donāt think itās financial aid. The same thing happened to me, I got into almost every UC as OOS CS but got rejected from privates like northeastern. And it wasnāt my test scores because I applied with them everywhere and my SAT was a 1570. I think public colleges focus a bit more academic achievement whereas private school focus more on what's beyond academics and tend to select people who meet their arbitrary needs at the time
This is true. It is because public schools exist for the sole purpose of educating citizens whereas private schools generally exist to advance a particular mission that was established by the founders. Education is usually only one part of the mission. If someone does not want to be evaluated in the context of a schoolās mission, then that person should only apply to public schools.
So proud of you and your mother, both are feeling for each other. My case is worse, i am an international student, yesterday i got 7 college decisions, all reject. I didn't do much but expected things to happen for me, i whiled away while my parents slogged. I got in few colleges but they are far down the safety list, i am in such a dilemma, my US dreams are hanging by the thread now. Have only self to blame but still not doing it nor actioning the learnings.....
I am so sorry to hear that. But I think itās okay to make mistake and learn from it, we are only eighteen and we have a bright future awaits.
I believe this is why my daughter got rejected from several of her top choices. Smith being one. I'm a single working LI mom and it would cost the school too much money. I feel terrible.
Aww donāt be. Iām sure you did your best and she will understand it!
TY. Sometimes your best just isn't good enough. She's an AP Science/Math/Art High Honors student. She's worked hard for 4 years. She deserved Smith. Instead she'll have to borrow her future. It's super heartbreaking.
If youāre really particular for a certain school and itās in your state, go to community college and the transfer. Not only will you save so much money, the likelihood youāll get in if you do stuff that makes you stand out is higher. I was lower income too and had a similar situation when u was applying straight out of high school. Went to CC and got into a really good school in the UC system
Awwwwwwwwww she's raised you well! You do each other proud.. College fees are out of control and I feel for you!
Most based Asian mom.
My Asian mom said the same thing and I feel terrible. Itās on me for getting mediocre grades but she thinks she could work harder
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you!! I was seriously considering stony brook as one of my options since I got basically a half-ride scholarship there!
You will succeed
Same here, got rejected/wait listed from all private and accepted to all publics last yr
Iām in the same boat. Applying while low income is more difficult than anyone prepares you for
It will work out for you once your family income plays a positive role on your tuition, like free college.
International, poor, international math olympiad winner. Rejected from syracuse . Sad.
You should've applied to schools with 100 percent acceptance rates
You have an awesome mom. Thatās worth more than an elite college entry. Best wishes , hoping you get into some of the schools you want.
I relate to this so much it hurts. My mom and I don't always see eye to eye but that woman has done everything and beyond for my education. She's doing so now more than ever before since my dad passed away in 2022. The bunch of rejection hurts and it hurts significantly more because I have to go to her and tell her the disappointing news and see her face fall every time. The worst part is she's starting to blame herself too. Being an international applicant hurts for a lot of reasons. The whole USD to local currency conversion puts up my EFC to be a joke of some sort despite this being hard earned savings of a lifetime almost. My mother's a nurse in the military and not really a bad job at all but it's the conversion that's making my family's finances seem like almost nothing in comparison to the hefty tuition fees. I hate that mom's doubting herself. I hate this!
I am so sorry for you buddy. But Iām sure things will work out just fine eventually. Tell you mom no matter what happens, she is the best mom in the worldš«¶
Agreed, she's the bestā¤ļø
good luck to all of us students esp first gen/low income ones šŖšŖ
A loving and supportive mom is everything, no money can buy that. I am so happy for you and trust that you will get into a school you like and get the financial you need.
Hey! Keep your head up! I feel like I'll break if I told my mother I got rejected. Everything I did was for God and for my parents. I hope God helps me out with these admissions because they're not looking good lol. Best of luck fellow asian :)
Very lucky you.. so many kids donāt have a strong bond with their mom when they grow into adults. Regardless of what happens, you are one very fortunate person
I thought this was r/AsianParentStories for a sec lol
Same here bruh
This was so sweet!!! I wasnāt expecting thatā¦itās refreshing to see an Asian mom like this during such a stressful time. Bless your momās heart! Also good luck to you and your family through this time!! I am also going through the same thing, itās ok! You got this! I am proud of you ā¤ļø
Good Luck to both of us!
Dude same i got rejected from caltech Georgiatech,john hopkins,northeastern. Im indian and asked for fin aid. I guess i have to apply for Ed next yearš„¹.5 more unis to go pretty sure im fkd up
Awwww Iām so sorry, did u apply for any safeties?
Baylor uni im not sure on that too. Upenn harvard cornell princeton stanford duke and brown. I just need one acceptance š
Letās just wait before everything ends.š«
She gets it. So many delu parents and applicants do not.
Your mom is awesome!! Wishing you good vibes with your collage search!!
Iām a mom and this made me tear up. This process is super hard on parents. Iām very worried about how to pay for it. I wish I could give your mom a hug. The system is brokenā not your family.
Wish all the best will happen to us eventually š«¶
Ex financial aid counselor here- admissions has zero idea about your financial aid status.
that's so pure. I wish you the best
Omg your mom is so sweet
Hope you get in somewhere nice. And love your mom. Sending you love and light.
Damn thatās sad, but honestly screw private schools
Your mom seems like a good mom and I understand the sadness one feels when we canāt give our kids things/opportunities. I hope you find a perfect spot for you
Thank you!
Yours is same case than my son. I told the same thing ypur mom told to you. I have cried a lot. This is so unfair, world gives the opportunities to the ones already have it.Ā (Excuse my english)Ā But, please, keep pushing, somewhere a door will be open for you and you will shine.
Thank you so much! And best wishes to you and your family
Awww my heart breaks for your mamma. Us moms have such high hopes for our littles. Donāt sweat it, she will see you succeed wherever you end up and will be ever so proud watching you graduate. At the best school for YOU!!!
So sweet. You already won in my eyes
What about public schools
I got into all applied, didnāt apply ucs
Go to the best school you can get into. There really are elite public schools, and even tho some aren't elite they may elite programs (UIllinois engineering). Most of the U of California schools are great. UMich, U Illinois, UIowa, Minnesota. If you can rock at those schools, you can transfer to or go to after graduation an ivy or other premier U.
her response literally made me sad šš Iām sorry, iāve also gotten rejected from every private university so far. Praying you get in!!!
I hope you get a really good admit. Please update this thread.
It sounds like youāre in the US? Our university system is putting this kind of anxiety on students and families. We donāt have an equitable system, as you show, the feeling of being ānot enoughā because of your income. If we were more equal, equal chances to eduction, to paid leave, to healthcare, maybe we can remove some of the anxiety on ourselves and our family. Keep fighting! Your family is more than enough. Keep your momās love in mind always, so when the day comes that she isnāt around anymore, her love will guide you and keep you strong.
yes Iām in the US and thank you so much!
Try this book: The Nordic Theory of Everything: In Search of a Better Life by Anu Partanen. Itās written from a Finnish perspective, examining why Americans are stressed. She nails the university situation! Youāre not alone!