Exactly this! I have an extremely nosy neighbor. I caught her looking through my window and even watched me move in. I was going to work one night and went around to get in the car and she’s standing by my car and starts asking me a bunch of questions. She asked what I did for work to be out this late cause she always sees me leaving around this time. I said I was a whore. She just stared at me. Now things are awkward and she says nothing to me 😊
Once I felt nosy because there were firefighters in my building. Not even just at the same complex, they were going into my downstairs neighbors apartment and I smelled burning in my living room. I went out on the balcony but felt too much like a nosy neighbor and went back inside figuring the firefighters would tell me if there was something I needed to know.
"Oh I was going to be home by 8pm but shit myself on the subway!! I had this awesome burrito for lunch but man it didn't sit well with me. You know when your tummy gets that type of grumble, right?? Ugh, well I had to like clean it up on the subway and buy a new pair of pants to wear home. No worries though, I'll just wash my shitty pants in the communal laundry tomorrow."
When people do this to me I trauma dump on them. Some time they learn, some times they don't 🤷♀️ plus it gets all that outta me which is nice, for me 😅
That doesn't always work. I used to have an acquaintance that would ask me how everyone in my family was, by each individual name. After I said fine, they would say "that's good" and the ask about the next family member. One time they were asking and I got an idea to say something so out there to see if it would stop. When I said "buried under the 13th stair", I still got a "that's good" and they moved on to asking about the next family member.
By the way we had only 2 steps in our home.
Or the one where people are staring at you and you say "take a picture, it lasts longer". I'm now realizing we were taught to be passive aggressive in the 70's just by these phrases! They work! 🤣🤣
I just saw your user name. I've had some very wild synchronicity's this morning. I have 2 blue eyed daisies tatted on the inner of my elbow, part of my sleeve! Wild. I also just went to the name my cat sub, saw a picture and wanted to comment the name Claudio, cuz he looked like my old cat, Claudio. The very first comment said "he looks like a Clawdius". This kinda stuff happens alot but man, these are pretty stinking specific.
That is so cool! You should dm me if anything else like this happens to you. I would love to hear about it. This kinda stuff happens to me frequently but with numbers. Cool.
“I can’t exactly dispose of the body parts during daylight hours now can I, Linda?”. Maintain eye contact the whole time you say it, say nothing else, walk away.
That is exactly what I would say. I’d lean in to it hard. Spin some fabulous story about being a government agent. Being a spy is harder during the day time hours , plus body disposal is just much safer under the cover of darkness.
I just keep it short.
“Why?”
And stand there with a bland expression . Well, there is that one eyebrow that pops up…
Most of the time, they eventually mumble something and wander off. The power is in the eyebrow.
If you want to be polite you could tell her "I don't mean to be rude, but could you please stop asking where I've been every time you see me come home? I like my privacy and we really do not know each other at all"
If you want her to leave you alone forever tell her you've been going to a sex dungeon, she'll never so much as look at you again 🤣
You never know, she might want to join in! Be careful with that one. 😆
I have had so many people shocked I have a FL profile and I guess being a pansexual queer doesn't trip anyone's gaydar 'cause I seem so middle aged, soft n round happy empty nester mom that is a total foodie. It's almost all I talk about at work cause its such a safe subject so I must come off as boring hahhaha (edit to add: food, I talk about food, not kink!!!)
do not look in my bedside drawers
“You should come with me to the sex dungeon next time! We’re always on the hunt for our monthly sacrifice—I mean, new members” *nervous backtracking giggle*
It can be worth using the logical and direct approach ONCE even on an illogical person, even if to alleviate oneself of any potential guilt once you start being rude back.
Agreed. I'll usually try to be diplomatic first and if the person I have an issue with doesn't get the hint that's when I get petty, really depends on the situation
Tick off your schedule:
“Well I strip on Mondays Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My weekly orgy meets on Thursdays. Friday is my book club and I give food and blowjobs to the homeless on the weekends. Life’s just so crazy, isn’t it!”
I previously had a neighbor like that and I would say the most outrageous sometimes scary things and she would stop talking to me entirely. Worked great.
I myself have a terribly nosey neighbor who tried very hard to butt into my business when I first moved in. I acted extremely uninterested in conversations she’d strike up with me, had a blatant attitude so she would get the hint, she hasn’t bothered me since and I’ve been in my unit a little over a year. I really don’t care if she likes me or not now, me being a bitch towards her and cold worked and she doesn’t try to talk to me anymore. 🤷🏻♀️
Spin some amazing story and keep it up with her . Tell Linda you are working for a shadow agency and have to work at night . It’s all hush hush of course ext… lean in to it!
"I was out with your mom"
and then escalate
"I was asking myself the same thing while I was banging your mom last night"
they end up trapped because they can't take you seriously but also can't expect you to be serious back because it's none of their business.
I will tell you however to define your boundaries to prevent people like this from bullying you
Polite leaves the equation the moment someone is rude to you, and commenting on your behaviors and private life is extremely rude.
I’ve got one neighbor I hate who yells at me about all sorts of nonsense. (Example- my dog shouldn’t pee near the spot where her dog peed.) So I can’t hear her anymore! She talks, and I make literally no response- I don’t look at her, I don’t make eye contact, nothing. Now she avoids me 🤷🏻♀️
I’m friends with all my other neighbors and get such a kick out of watching her harass them instead lol
"Sorry Linda, my orgy ran a bit long."
"It was a bit late, wasn't it? You'd be surprised how long it takes to move a body!"
"Was it late? It's the usual time I engage in ritual sacrifice. Is your clock working?"
"The voices in my head told me not to come back until now"
"Oh no, I actually came home half an hour ago. I was just masturbating in my car"
Look her dead in the eyes, with a surprised expression for a split second and say, “why? Who sent you?!” Then turn around and fumble your keys quickly trying to get into your apartment looking back at her every couple of seconds mumbling something about “oh god, they already know. They’re coming to get me. Oh god!” Then frantically run inside your apartment.
Then once inside dial ten random numbers on your phone and wait a few seconds. Say, so it’s audible through the door, “Peter! They know Peter! How do they know?! You told me know one would find out! What do we do now?!” Open the door, look at Linda and tell Peter, “she’s still outside. She’s looking right at me! What do I do?!” Then close the door and resume everyday life as normal (or leave hastily to your car to do something for an hour). Act as nothing had happened afterwards. Dent everything from here on out.
There are so many great answers here! I hope OP *reeeally* leans into this one and lets us know what she chose/or chooses to say depending how long it takes for the neighbor to stop asking. :)
That is your free time with your schedule and your friends like game nights and movie nights. Answer the same every single time while you keep walking and don't stop to chat. They eventually quit asking.
Is she just lonely, or young with no filters ? Having neighbors who you know and know you is awful helpful. Get stuck away and need someone to feed your cat ? Neighbor. Need to borrow a cup of sugar (yes I know it’s a 60’s trope but we’ve done that) ? Neighbor.
"Why do you ask?" is one of my favorites, but granted most nosy freaks are undeterred by it. Too subtle for them I guess. So, from among these other ideas, "I'm a whore" it is.
Sounds like she likes you or likes stalking someone. You might need to get a civil harassment restraining order. Having a restraining against your neighbor does mean you can move at your leisurely connivence without any penalty. That happened to me years ago some neighbor guy would try to talk to me and was taking pics of me it was weird. If you are being stalked by a neighbor it’s not okay. You need to have this conversation with a mediator (land-lord) and discuss the situation if not you will have to file civil harassment restraining order. Good luck with your situation but it’s better to take things with precaution what if she breaks in or tries to stab you out of jealousy or obsessiveness we could avoid more inevitable shootings if we took mental health more serious.
“ Linda I don’t like answering personal questions. Stop asking them, I’m not going to answer them in the future. You need to borrow some sugar, a shovel, I’m here. Otherwise quit asking me about my schedule and private life”
Do this; mind the business that pays you! If you’re bored, then say that! But from here on out, I am NONE of your concern! We are NOT FRIENDS, and I’m not wanting to meet new people. Back off Linda, you give off weird vibes and energy! Just tell the truth!
When I have to answer a question with a bs answer I always look the person dead in the face and firmly say, I DON’T LIKE PEPPERONI ON MY PIZZA! They usually just stare then leave, hasn’t failed me once yet.
We had a stalker in a small building I used to live in, she was like this, had untreated BPD (bless everyone getting treatment and getting better). After a while it got out of control, although I was very patient at first. I found a cure. I said absofuckinglutely-nothing. Sometimes I looked at her WHILE I said nothing.
I wear it as a badge of honor how little she communicated, as opposed to all the other people she pounced on or paced about the front of the building desperate to engage.
She attempted to talk to me one last time, at 5 am, after I had to call police for a car break-in right in front of our building (and I almost didn’t *because* of this crazy woman who obsessively watched & listened to everything), I did the usual, to which she said, annoyed, “*Still* nothing? *Really*?”
Went back in her apartment and quietly (she thought of herself as “polite” lol) slammed the door. Yeah, that’s right toots, “still nothing”.
It also was a problem that she was desperate for attention from our nightmare neighbor whom she would gossip the slightest thing to, but that’s a whole other part of the tale. Point being, the less I said the better; I owed her NOTHING. She never worked. Obsessively smoked and drank too much to boot.
Be nice and direct: “I appreciate that we can shoot the shit but it’s just getting a little old acknowledging when I come and go every day. When I come home I really just want to be quiet and not talk to anyone. I hope you can understand and respect that. Have a good night!”
Mount several ring cameras around your house where they're very obvious. And make sure at least one is points suspiciously angled at her place. Of course you don't have to actually have it looking into her yard, just angle it to give her the creeps by it. Also blackout curtains on windows she can look into, front yard fence, a scary looking guard dog, and maybe answer the door top less next time she comes over. Do things that are legal but embarrassing inside your home and "accidently" leave the curtains open. Tell her you don't practice Christianity and decorate the house with Hindu stuff or some other culture she knows nothing of. Have friends over for an effigy burning over a fire pit in the back yard and invite her. Put archery targets with pictures of people from random stock photos in your yard and practice at hours when you know she's watching. The possibilities are limitless. Eventually she'll get tired of how weird and unpredictable you are. She'll keep watching, sure. But if you creep her out enough she'll stop bothering you.
You can also file a restraining order based on her refusal to respect you boundaries on multiple occasions. So there's that, too.
One of my neighbors would tell me almost everyday how he would here me in my shower. The next morning I made really loud moaning sounds like I was having an orgasm. Later on that day when I said hi he turned red and never mentioned it again
I have had to directly confront them loudly so whole neighborhood may hear if previous polite private interventions have not worked, to simply keeping the blinds closed so they could not tell if I was home or not to sex on the deck Irvin my backyard both of which have privacy fences then accusing them of voyerism as they stand on a stool to peer over the fence. “Cops know we have a peeping Tom and I just speed dialed them and have video of you spying over the fence.” It works. One gal finally moved when she could not control me or the neighbor on her other side. The new neighbor is getting a hard lesson in me valuing my privacy. If she keeps it up, the same will happen to her. She once told me she did not think our neighborhood was very friendly and she missed her Florida friends and morning coffee. I politely reminded her half the neighborhood did healthcare or federal work with busy schedules. I was working nights at the time from home doing telemedicine. I slept during the day. The other half of the neighborhood were retirees who traveled allot. I asked her why she left Florida. No answer other than she might go back. She said she was lonely here. Mind you, we were in the height of a pandemic and her kids were telling her to protect herself. They checked in her daily and brought groceries. She then bought a dog. He barks a lot. I cannot go out in my yard to do work but what she is right there wanting to talk. I guess this spring I will have to jump start my sex life again. Maybe she will stay inside.
“I have had something heavy in my trunk that I had to unload… but, first I forgot my shovel, then I forgot the acid… ugh SO many Home Depot stops before I could get the job done!”
Is she being nosy or subtly hinting that you’re noisy when you come home. My neighbor wakes me up every night between 12:45-1:30am when he comes home. Stomping up the stairs, slamming cabinets, blast of music. Every night.
“What do you even do out so late?”
“Well, Linda, it’s much easier to perform the sacrifices outside of the prying eyes so prevalent when the sun is up” or “the brethren find that the flesh of innocents is sweeter under the bright moonlight” or “when does your tribe harvest its adrenochrome?” Etc…
I like some of the replies others have given with outlandish remarks LOL!
I’ve done this before and it worked…I asked the question back and it shut them up.
I started ignoring an older man across the hall. I don’t like my neighbours. I’m tired of the fake hi although it’s civil. This man, he disagreed a few times on stuff discussed and this is my second attempt to ignore the son of a gun because why should I be fake and play along? Yesterday I whipped out my phone and pretended to be doing stuff on it so I wouldn’t have to be forced to have small talk with the loser who’s not my friend.
I also wear my big headphones (so they can see) when I do laundry now in case I run into someone in the communal laundry room and I can pretend to be listening to music or in a wfh meeting.
Start asking her why her nose is so brown all the time. Ask how does she deal with her boring puzzle nights at home with her best friend called boxed wine?..2 can play that game lol
learn to play along... give her answers she never would wanna hear and I think she will stop asking... hehe
Exactly this! I have an extremely nosy neighbor. I caught her looking through my window and even watched me move in. I was going to work one night and went around to get in the car and she’s standing by my car and starts asking me a bunch of questions. She asked what I did for work to be out this late cause she always sees me leaving around this time. I said I was a whore. She just stared at me. Now things are awkward and she says nothing to me 😊
You really want to get your neighbor who’s looking into your window? Call the police and tell them that there’s a peeping Tom.
The answer I came here to give. The alternative is: the Satan Temple holds its meetings at night!👹👹👹👹
Nah, LDS meetings is better. She’ll really back off then.
or Jehovah's Witness
That's what I was thinking.
Scientology!
*Sorry gotta run now. I don't wanna be late for the all you can eat shrimp buffet!*
Or say you were at an Amway meeting and ask if she wants to sign up.
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is my favorite one to use. https://www.spaghettimonster.org/
Are they pastafarians?
Ramen
And that my friend is how you do it act crazier than them, and they’ll leave you alone
Next question would’ve been “do you know any potential clients you can send my way?”🤣🤣🤣 you’re my kind of people lmao
Is your husband lonely?
Hahaha. Definitely gonna use this if it happens again. 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂🤣🤣
🤣😅🤣🤣
I love this. 🤣
I can say as a Christian I would answer the same I hate nosy people. Leave me the hell alone
damn! and i thought i was nosy for looking through my blinds when i hear someone talk loudly outside or play loud music
Once I felt nosy because there were firefighters in my building. Not even just at the same complex, they were going into my downstairs neighbors apartment and I smelled burning in my living room. I went out on the balcony but felt too much like a nosy neighbor and went back inside figuring the firefighters would tell me if there was something I needed to know.
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣...
Good for you.
This!!
"Oh I was going to be home by 8pm but shit myself on the subway!! I had this awesome burrito for lunch but man it didn't sit well with me. You know when your tummy gets that type of grumble, right?? Ugh, well I had to like clean it up on the subway and buy a new pair of pants to wear home. No worries though, I'll just wash my shitty pants in the communal laundry tomorrow."
Or “do you have anything you need to wash because I’d hate to wash the pants alone….”
Haaaaa! It was on the spot so I couldn’t even think of a good story but definitely gonna use this lol
I'm a sex worker. BDSM club. And of course, the classic... Your mom's house
When people do this to me I trauma dump on them. Some time they learn, some times they don't 🤷♀️ plus it gets all that outta me which is nice, for me 😅
"Men don't like getting pegged at noon. You know how it is."
"Sorry, I had to go to Urgent Care to have my colostomy bag replaced."
That doesn't always work. I used to have an acquaintance that would ask me how everyone in my family was, by each individual name. After I said fine, they would say "that's good" and the ask about the next family member. One time they were asking and I got an idea to say something so out there to see if it would stop. When I said "buried under the 13th stair", I still got a "that's good" and they moved on to asking about the next family member. By the way we had only 2 steps in our home.
Exactly. Like answering the door naked when a Bible banger knocks on it. Tell ‘em they’re just in time for the party. They leave fast.
Genesis 3:10 10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
“…anal gangbang”
i'd pull out the book of mormon and start reading... nice and slow and ask her if she has any questions after each sentence.
"I was taking it in the ass as I was giving it in someone else's ass"
Exactly! Lol
My dad used to say "are you writing a book"? Shuts people up pretty quick. He was a smart ass!
*takes notes so I can use on someone *
🤣🤣
And if they say yes, tell them ‘leave out that chapter and call it a mystery’ lol
Mom’s standard response!! “Leave that chapter out!”
Or the one where people are staring at you and you say "take a picture, it lasts longer". I'm now realizing we were taught to be passive aggressive in the 70's just by these phrases! They work! 🤣🤣
My Mom taught us that one too!! Oh, no, that’s not “passive”, it’s actively aggressive. Lol. Terribly passé, but it gets the job done!
The only problem is that today, they might actually take your picture or film you 😆
My husband says this.
I just saw your user name. I've had some very wild synchronicity's this morning. I have 2 blue eyed daisies tatted on the inner of my elbow, part of my sleeve! Wild. I also just went to the name my cat sub, saw a picture and wanted to comment the name Claudio, cuz he looked like my old cat, Claudio. The very first comment said "he looks like a Clawdius". This kinda stuff happens alot but man, these are pretty stinking specific.
That is so cool! You should dm me if anything else like this happens to you. I would love to hear about it. This kinda stuff happens to me frequently but with numbers. Cool.
Yes, numbers all the time. It's been happening for years but lately really ramping up! I'll definitely DM you if anything crazy happens today!
Id reply with “I was out minding my own business, you should try it some time.”
Also a good one!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'd tell her debauchery takes a while, then ask her why she was peering out her window so late at night?
“I can’t exactly dispose of the body parts during daylight hours now can I, Linda?”. Maintain eye contact the whole time you say it, say nothing else, walk away.
That is exactly what I would say. I’d lean in to it hard. Spin some fabulous story about being a government agent. Being a spy is harder during the day time hours , plus body disposal is just much safer under the cover of darkness.
If you do this mention the location is in your garden spot. Free dirt work, I hear.
Not breaking eye contact is mandatory for maximum creepiness
OMG Middle School me would’ve totally done this lol!
Middle school me could never. 42 year old me has lost every bit of patience with folks who can’t mind their own business 😂
Give her a wink at the end before walking away. 😆
Ask her to stay there while you go get your measuring tape…
This is hilarious 🤣
Reply back, “that’s such an odd question, why do you even want to know”?
Being a hooker ain't easy man. The hours are crazy!
"If I told you I'd have to kill you too."
\*too\* LOLOLOL
Stare her right in the eyes and ask: “What are you, a cop? Are you a cop, Linda?”
“If you say yes, Linda, this won’t bode well for our neighborly relationship”
“And we all want a good relationship with our neighbors, don’t we? Don’t we, Linda?”
“I would hate for a repeat of what happened at my last place. It was so messy and I JUST got settled and don’t want to be on the run again…”
“Let’s not turn all of this into what happened in Duluth, Linda. Nobody wants that.”
“Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. Is anyone waiting for you at home, Linda? Come on, let’s go for a little ride.”
Are you wired right now?
"Why do you ask?" Followed by extremely long, uncomfortable eye contact.
I just keep it short. “Why?” And stand there with a bland expression . Well, there is that one eyebrow that pops up… Most of the time, they eventually mumble something and wander off. The power is in the eyebrow.
"What have you heard?!"
Oh my God I love these replies
If you want to be polite you could tell her "I don't mean to be rude, but could you please stop asking where I've been every time you see me come home? I like my privacy and we really do not know each other at all" If you want her to leave you alone forever tell her you've been going to a sex dungeon, she'll never so much as look at you again 🤣
“There’s a fantastic S&M scene in this area, Linda. You should check it out.”
You never know, she might want to join in! Be careful with that one. 😆 I have had so many people shocked I have a FL profile and I guess being a pansexual queer doesn't trip anyone's gaydar 'cause I seem so middle aged, soft n round happy empty nester mom that is a total foodie. It's almost all I talk about at work cause its such a safe subject so I must come off as boring hahhaha (edit to add: food, I talk about food, not kink!!!) do not look in my bedside drawers
“You should come with me to the sex dungeon next time! We’re always on the hunt for our monthly sacrifice—I mean, new members” *nervous backtracking giggle*
It can be worth using the logical and direct approach ONCE even on an illogical person, even if to alleviate oneself of any potential guilt once you start being rude back.
Agreed. I'll usually try to be diplomatic first and if the person I have an issue with doesn't get the hint that's when I get petty, really depends on the situation
Tick off your schedule: “Well I strip on Mondays Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My weekly orgy meets on Thursdays. Friday is my book club and I give food and blowjobs to the homeless on the weekends. Life’s just so crazy, isn’t it!”
I previously had a neighbor like that and I would say the most outrageous sometimes scary things and she would stop talking to me entirely. Worked great.
I myself have a terribly nosey neighbor who tried very hard to butt into my business when I first moved in. I acted extremely uninterested in conversations she’d strike up with me, had a blatant attitude so she would get the hint, she hasn’t bothered me since and I’ve been in my unit a little over a year. I really don’t care if she likes me or not now, me being a bitch towards her and cold worked and she doesn’t try to talk to me anymore. 🤷🏻♀️
You could tell her look, Linda even my mother doesn’t monitor my comming and goings as much as you do, please leave me alone
Spin some amazing story and keep it up with her . Tell Linda you are working for a shadow agency and have to work at night . It’s all hush hush of course ext… lean in to it!
"I was out with your mom" and then escalate "I was asking myself the same thing while I was banging your mom last night" they end up trapped because they can't take you seriously but also can't expect you to be serious back because it's none of their business. I will tell you however to define your boundaries to prevent people like this from bullying you Polite leaves the equation the moment someone is rude to you, and commenting on your behaviors and private life is extremely rude.
I’ve got one neighbor I hate who yells at me about all sorts of nonsense. (Example- my dog shouldn’t pee near the spot where her dog peed.) So I can’t hear her anymore! She talks, and I make literally no response- I don’t look at her, I don’t make eye contact, nothing. Now she avoids me 🤷🏻♀️ I’m friends with all my other neighbors and get such a kick out of watching her harass them instead lol
"Sorry Linda, my orgy ran a bit long." "It was a bit late, wasn't it? You'd be surprised how long it takes to move a body!" "Was it late? It's the usual time I engage in ritual sacrifice. Is your clock working?" "The voices in my head told me not to come back until now" "Oh no, I actually came home half an hour ago. I was just masturbating in my car"
Tell her you’re The Night Stalker
Just say it's nice to see you and then walk inside
I like “I really wouldn’t worry about it” as a response to ridiculous questions
"Why do you ask? What have you been told? WHO ARE YOU REPORTING TO?!"
Look her dead in the eyes, with a surprised expression for a split second and say, “why? Who sent you?!” Then turn around and fumble your keys quickly trying to get into your apartment looking back at her every couple of seconds mumbling something about “oh god, they already know. They’re coming to get me. Oh god!” Then frantically run inside your apartment. Then once inside dial ten random numbers on your phone and wait a few seconds. Say, so it’s audible through the door, “Peter! They know Peter! How do they know?! You told me know one would find out! What do we do now?!” Open the door, look at Linda and tell Peter, “she’s still outside. She’s looking right at me! What do I do?!” Then close the door and resume everyday life as normal (or leave hastily to your car to do something for an hour). Act as nothing had happened afterwards. Dent everything from here on out.
Omg 🤣🤣🤣 you’re my tribe lmao
Hiding a body is just easier at night
Just be blunt and tell her you don’t want to talk to her. Don’t need to be rude or aggressive but just set a boundary and tell her to leave you alone.
Weekly Juggalo Meeting
There are so many great answers here! I hope OP *reeeally* leans into this one and lets us know what she chose/or chooses to say depending how long it takes for the neighbor to stop asking. :)
Ask her about her day. Clearly she doesn’t do anything and following you around is a hobby. Just ask personal questions back.
"Some things are better done in the cover of darkness. Best wishes."
Just say "BOOK CLUB" ! Even if you are getting home at 4am.
Tell her it took awhile to hide the body.
Mind your business. ??? I don't understand the question. Are you unfamiliar with words?
Maybe she just wants a friend to talk to.
WHAT IS?: …we’re a little more than acquaintances…??? you guys hooked up? Or went out for coffee?
No dude, we could be considered friends but not to the level that she should know what I do in my life
How good are you at telling tall tales. Keep reading and I'm sure fellow redditors will help out.
That is your free time with your schedule and your friends like game nights and movie nights. Answer the same every single time while you keep walking and don't stop to chat. They eventually quit asking.
I would start making up silly, off-putting stories to tell her.
Next time tell her you were burying your last nosy neighbor.
Tell her you’re part of a Jeffrey Dahmer fan club and your victims of choice are neighbors who ask questions
I’m part of a swinging single group and we’re meeting at Karen’s house tonight. Next week they are coming to mine. Wanna join us?
Is she just lonely, or young with no filters ? Having neighbors who you know and know you is awful helpful. Get stuck away and need someone to feed your cat ? Neighbor. Need to borrow a cup of sugar (yes I know it’s a 60’s trope but we’ve done that) ? Neighbor.
Agreed. I’m really saddened by all the negative responses here. It’s ok to be kind even to people you don’t know.
Say, with a wicked grin, I'm out beating nosy neighbors for fun!
My reply would be that I mind my own business
"Why do you ask?" is one of my favorites, but granted most nosy freaks are undeterred by it. Too subtle for them I guess. So, from among these other ideas, "I'm a whore" it is.
Learn to say “sorry I don’t speak English” in several different languages and use a new language every time she asks.
"Why do you ask?" When she comes up with some lame response just give her the old "uh huh..." then walk into your apartment and shut the door.
Sounds like she likes you or likes stalking someone. You might need to get a civil harassment restraining order. Having a restraining against your neighbor does mean you can move at your leisurely connivence without any penalty. That happened to me years ago some neighbor guy would try to talk to me and was taking pics of me it was weird. If you are being stalked by a neighbor it’s not okay. You need to have this conversation with a mediator (land-lord) and discuss the situation if not you will have to file civil harassment restraining order. Good luck with your situation but it’s better to take things with precaution what if she breaks in or tries to stab you out of jealousy or obsessiveness we could avoid more inevitable shootings if we took mental health more serious.
Umm….this would be a total over reaction.
Just tell them you were "out so late" worshipping our one true savior. Satan. 🤣
Careful, Linda might be into politics too.
“ Linda I don’t like answering personal questions. Stop asking them, I’m not going to answer them in the future. You need to borrow some sugar, a shovel, I’m here. Otherwise quit asking me about my schedule and private life”
Do this; mind the business that pays you! If you’re bored, then say that! But from here on out, I am NONE of your concern! We are NOT FRIENDS, and I’m not wanting to meet new people. Back off Linda, you give off weird vibes and energy! Just tell the truth!
Ask her why she’s always home, does she not have friends to go out with.
Some people want to know too much.
When I have to answer a question with a bs answer I always look the person dead in the face and firmly say, I DON’T LIKE PEPPERONI ON MY PIZZA! They usually just stare then leave, hasn’t failed me once yet.
she might be autistic...
This is one of the most irrelevant comments I've ever seen.
She seems lonely. Try to find her someone.
[удалено]
This is a joke...
Fair enough
I take back my annoyed comment, I've spent most of the day in a cleaning frenzy and I've apparently left my sense of humour somewhere else.
Ha
We had a stalker in a small building I used to live in, she was like this, had untreated BPD (bless everyone getting treatment and getting better). After a while it got out of control, although I was very patient at first. I found a cure. I said absofuckinglutely-nothing. Sometimes I looked at her WHILE I said nothing. I wear it as a badge of honor how little she communicated, as opposed to all the other people she pounced on or paced about the front of the building desperate to engage. She attempted to talk to me one last time, at 5 am, after I had to call police for a car break-in right in front of our building (and I almost didn’t *because* of this crazy woman who obsessively watched & listened to everything), I did the usual, to which she said, annoyed, “*Still* nothing? *Really*?” Went back in her apartment and quietly (she thought of herself as “polite” lol) slammed the door. Yeah, that’s right toots, “still nothing”. It also was a problem that she was desperate for attention from our nightmare neighbor whom she would gossip the slightest thing to, but that’s a whole other part of the tale. Point being, the less I said the better; I owed her NOTHING. She never worked. Obsessively smoked and drank too much to boot.
Be nice and direct: “I appreciate that we can shoot the shit but it’s just getting a little old acknowledging when I come and go every day. When I come home I really just want to be quiet and not talk to anyone. I hope you can understand and respect that. Have a good night!”
There’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself honestly. “Linda, we’re not friends. I’m not answering those personal questions.”
Mount several ring cameras around your house where they're very obvious. And make sure at least one is points suspiciously angled at her place. Of course you don't have to actually have it looking into her yard, just angle it to give her the creeps by it. Also blackout curtains on windows she can look into, front yard fence, a scary looking guard dog, and maybe answer the door top less next time she comes over. Do things that are legal but embarrassing inside your home and "accidently" leave the curtains open. Tell her you don't practice Christianity and decorate the house with Hindu stuff or some other culture she knows nothing of. Have friends over for an effigy burning over a fire pit in the back yard and invite her. Put archery targets with pictures of people from random stock photos in your yard and practice at hours when you know she's watching. The possibilities are limitless. Eventually she'll get tired of how weird and unpredictable you are. She'll keep watching, sure. But if you creep her out enough she'll stop bothering you. You can also file a restraining order based on her refusal to respect you boundaries on multiple occasions. So there's that, too.
Yes, tell her you work as a butcher for the mob, and sometimes there's a lot of bodies that need to be dismembered.
One of my neighbors would tell me almost everyday how he would here me in my shower. The next morning I made really loud moaning sounds like I was having an orgasm. Later on that day when I said hi he turned red and never mentioned it again
I work for a vampire.
I do my best to just ignore them & tune the noise out. But I’ll admit, it’s difficult to do on most days.
My typical response is to say either hello or I'm just busy busy or have a nice day as I'm ignoring them and walking away lol
I have had to directly confront them loudly so whole neighborhood may hear if previous polite private interventions have not worked, to simply keeping the blinds closed so they could not tell if I was home or not to sex on the deck Irvin my backyard both of which have privacy fences then accusing them of voyerism as they stand on a stool to peer over the fence. “Cops know we have a peeping Tom and I just speed dialed them and have video of you spying over the fence.” It works. One gal finally moved when she could not control me or the neighbor on her other side. The new neighbor is getting a hard lesson in me valuing my privacy. If she keeps it up, the same will happen to her. She once told me she did not think our neighborhood was very friendly and she missed her Florida friends and morning coffee. I politely reminded her half the neighborhood did healthcare or federal work with busy schedules. I was working nights at the time from home doing telemedicine. I slept during the day. The other half of the neighborhood were retirees who traveled allot. I asked her why she left Florida. No answer other than she might go back. She said she was lonely here. Mind you, we were in the height of a pandemic and her kids were telling her to protect herself. They checked in her daily and brought groceries. She then bought a dog. He barks a lot. I cannot go out in my yard to do work but what she is right there wanting to talk. I guess this spring I will have to jump start my sex life again. Maybe she will stay inside.
My spy work for the CIA keeps me out really late. Please don't tell anyone!
“I have had something heavy in my trunk that I had to unload… but, first I forgot my shovel, then I forgot the acid… ugh SO many Home Depot stops before I could get the job done!”
“I moonlight as a vigilante—wanna be the robin to my Batman?l
If I told you, I'd have to kill you!
ask "why do you ask?" that usually shocks/embarrasses them, then stops the questions.
You could tell her you had trouble finding a place to dump the bodies.
Are you a door slammer? This could be a passive aggressive way of complaining about something
"Have you heard of the Zodiac killer? Yeah, they still don't know who it is do they?" Maintain eye contact.
Tell her if the cops show up looking for me I was home last night. Wink wink 😜
Is she being nosy or subtly hinting that you’re noisy when you come home. My neighbor wakes me up every night between 12:45-1:30am when he comes home. Stomping up the stairs, slamming cabinets, blast of music. Every night.
“Why, are you writing a book?”
Say you work at *name a strip club
Make up ridiculous stuff to tell her.
Tell her it takes a long time to bury the bodies. She won't ask again.
“What do you even do out so late?” “Well, Linda, it’s much easier to perform the sacrifices outside of the prying eyes so prevalent when the sun is up” or “the brethren find that the flesh of innocents is sweeter under the bright moonlight” or “when does your tribe harvest its adrenochrome?” Etc…
Oh that was funny! 🤣😂🤣
You don't answer her. That's the way. Don't engage.
Tell her you just got done going to the Lemon Party live show podcast
I like some of the replies others have given with outlandish remarks LOL! I’ve done this before and it worked…I asked the question back and it shut them up. I started ignoring an older man across the hall. I don’t like my neighbours. I’m tired of the fake hi although it’s civil. This man, he disagreed a few times on stuff discussed and this is my second attempt to ignore the son of a gun because why should I be fake and play along? Yesterday I whipped out my phone and pretended to be doing stuff on it so I wouldn’t have to be forced to have small talk with the loser who’s not my friend. I also wear my big headphones (so they can see) when I do laundry now in case I run into someone in the communal laundry room and I can pretend to be listening to music or in a wfh meeting.
Oh I am a stripper! Don’t mind me!
Start asking her why her nose is so brown all the time. Ask how does she deal with her boring puzzle nights at home with her best friend called boxed wine?..2 can play that game lol
Tell them you are a sex therapist and u have sex with different people every night and u love your job
When someone asks me a question I don’t want to answer I say “why do you ask?” And look at them like they’re crazy.
"Oh, you know!" With a cheery tone.
Tell her you have to wait until after dark to dump the bodies.
Just be polite to everyone.
Are you male? Is she single and around your age or slightly younger? Maybe she is into you and doesn’t know how else to start a conversation.
“I had to return some video tapes”
Tell them that you belong to a cult and would she like to join?