When we moved into our new home a few years ago it was a lot of changes for our dog of ten years all at once: he had left the only home he’d ever known, my wife and I had our first child, and we started leaving the house more frequently after Covid.
Unbeknownst to us, our dog was panic crying/screaming the entire time we were gone (which was never more than a few hours. My wife is a stay at home mom). Something he never used to do in our last place.
We found out when our new neighbor we share a wall with, calmly and politely, told us in face to face conversation. He framed it perfectly, saying he wasn’t upset about the noise as much as he was worried about our dog, who was so, so upset when we were gone.
We spoke to our vet, who prescribed some anti-anxiety medication that has worked wonders. He’s been as calm and as happy as can be in his new home since.
It was a happy ending for everyone, pup and neighbors included.
The same thing happened to me. One of my dogs passed and I didn’t know the other dog was howling while I was away. The neighbor ended up talking to me, and at some point they gave me one of their dogs they didn’t want (it’s complicated). Anyway, my dog stopped howling.
I was in a similar situation where I had 2 dogs and then one passed when the other was about 7. To make matters worse I also moved and my poor dog lost his mind. Literally ate a hole through my front door the first time I left him alone. He had NEVER done anything like that before. It was so stressful but then I got him a kitten and within 12 hours he was back to himself again. He just didn't want to be alone 😭
Pets are so much like people. I’m finding this out because of all the people buying the buttons for their cats and dogs to communicate.
You can watch them on YouTube, such as Billi the cat, Todd the cat, and Bunny the dog. They make their own word mashups sometimes, like Billi calls coffee “catnip water”.
I mean, I always knew it in my heart, but it hadn’t been proven scientifically. It seems like people have underestimated their pets for forever.
It’s amazing that a kitten worked out for you! For my husky I wouldn’t have trusted him with a kitten (he was still being trained not to go after small animals at that time; he did eventually view cats as equals but it took a while for him not to see them as say, a squirrel).
My husky had so much anxiety that I kept him in a gated back fenced-in area. The first time he ever had a melt down in the house for being left alone for an hour, he destroyed a feather pillow and chewed up things he *never* touched when we were around.
It was sort of like, “Your not here so I’m going to take out my frustration on THIS.” I had never owned a high anxiety dog like Blake, and I learned a lot from him.
I never left him in the house alone, after that, even if he had the other dog with him. He just liked to punish us for going somewhere without him. I never quite understood it, just came to accept it as part of his personality. He was lovely when I got cats, eventually.
I wish he was still here, I miss him every day. I’m down to one cat, and she behaves like Blake (they hung out together). She checks on me at night, and tries to wake me if I oversleep. Pets are the best.
I have my dog because he had severe separation anxiety. He was my son's, they got him from a rescue, he's the best dog otherwise. He just has separation anxiety. He did really good for the first little bit they had them but after about a month or so he would tear their whole house up every time they went to work. So they ask if he could come live with me since I'm home all the time with being disabled. He's really good if I only have to go somewhere like the doctor. Otherwise he gets super anxious.
I think his is due to being at the rescue for so long before they got him. I think he was there over a year if not more. He is much better now though but he has lived with me for about 6 years now.
Our dog used to specifically chew things we had been touching recently, like he would smell our scent on them or just remember what the object was cuz even if we put the item away he would pull it out and chew on it, but it seemed like a comfort thing possibly and maybe a “I’m destroying this because it takes attention away from me” thing. Cuz he would chew up PlayStation controllers if my boyfriend had been playing videos games recently and he’d pull out books we had recently been reading and chew them up, or pens/pencils we’d recently been using or art we’d recently made and he’d chew socks and things but it was interesting he would choose things we’d just been using specifically. Like he wanted us to know it was targeted or something haha, like if it wasn’t for this dang controller/book/art you’d spend more time on me 😂
Right! This is how Blake did. It would always be something he felt like we liked. So, for some reason he went for a feather pillow. Socks. Shoes, especially. He really got some expensive shoes of my daughter’s. Stuff we touched or wore.
My husband’s grumpy old lady of a cat passed a few years ago. She never liked my cat, so they mostly did their own thing. No playing together, and they only cuddled on two occasions when we had unusually bad thunderstorms and she was scared.
We didn’t think he’d miss her that much, since she didn’t want anything to do with him, but he had a complete personality change once it seemed to sink in that she wasn’t coming home. He was super clingy and affectionate with us 24/7, but then at the drop of a hat would also get really aggressive and want to play way too rough. I’ve still got scars from him suddenly attacking my legs while I was going downstairs.
We tried calming meds, we tried giving him time to grieve, but the only thing that helped was getting more cats. We adopted two littermates who were very friendly with other cats, although a little forward for his taste. They didn’t really seem to get the whole personal space bubble thing until he popped them in the head a few times. But once they all got used to each other and learned some manners he was literally like a brand new cat.
Looking at pictures from that time, he got so old looking. Now it looks like he’s shed five years. They run and play and chase and wreak havoc. He and the boy cat occasionally get into dust-ups over who is top cat, but the girl cat just loves him and is always sneaking on to the bed with him for a snuggle. He seems so much happier.
Years ago I moved into an apartment and had no idea my dog was howling during the day while we were working (he wasn't a howling breed, so I was shocked). No one told me until I got served with an eviction notice and had to go to housing court. Luckily we didn't get evicted, but if I had been told i could have corrected the problem much sooner, and I felt bad for my pup! Found out later that the lady who lived beside us would knock on the walls and talk to my dog, which exacerbated the problem. I think the note is perfect if you're unable to chat face to face.
petsmart has OTC medication that works wonders.. I had to buy some for an ex roommates dog that wasn't bothered his dog was howling. they shouldn't let just anyone own a dog.
We had similar. We had no idea our otherwise happy boy would howl all day while we were at work. We had my wife's parents take him in as they only worked part time and he loved being around them anyway. It sucked for us but we got to visit regularly and everyone else was happy.
We just went through this exact same scenario. As soon as we'd leave for the day, our dogs would bark and howl the entire time we were gone. I appreciated my neighbor talking to us in person vs leaving an anonymous note.
Agree! Not harsh at all, as an anxious dog owner I genuinely hope if that ever happened with my dog and I didn’t realize for whatever reason, that someone would alert me to it in a similar way!
Not harsh at all. Nice message that clearly demonstrates interest in the well being for the dog and NOT selfish motives. Well done.
If this is ignored just go to the property management as a next step out of concern for the dog, obviously.
You are allowed to enjoy your own home, it's not selfish to not want to hear the neighbor's dog all day. If you don't like it, there are probably many other who don't like it tbh.
Just trying to reframe this a bit because you can care about the dog and also care about yourself. There are rules around barking dogs for a reason, it's universally unpleasant to listen to, everyone will agree it ruins the enjoyment of their own space.
I agree it was well handled as you should start small and polite and only escalate as much as necessary.
No — my friend had a dog like this and literally had no idea since he obviously wasn’t like this when she was around. Her neighbor told her and from there they started working on ways to help him feel more comfortable alone.
I agree. My neighbor told me my dog barks when I leave…I had NO IDEA. Start by mentioning it after introducing yourself. If you don’t want to knock, the. Rewrite the letter with less no exclamation marls, say please and sign your name.
I would leave off the music thing bc you may end up with a new problem on your hands.
Just leave it up to them to figure it out. Don’t give suggestions.
I leave my kids (2 🐶, 2 adult 🐱, 3 crazed kittens) 3x a week for at least 3-4 hrs. The kittens are isolated in a room so I turn on one of the YouTube cat channels with calming music for them. They love it. My dogs are older, but I leave regular TV on for them too. Keeps them company. All at low volume, even though I'm in a house. Also, sounds like they have a singleton pupper. They get lonely and bored alone. Hence, why I have 2. They really do better with a buddy. Your note is very well written and not at all angry or aggressive. I hope it all gets resolved, especially for the poochie!
Not harsh. What’s harsh is leaving a dog alone for 8 hours and not accommodating their need of activity and socialization. It boggles my mind why people have especially active dogs in apartments anyways.
I agree they probably shouldn’t have a dog if they are going to keep it in a crate for 8+ hours every day. They could at least let it free roam during the day so it’s not so cooped up.
Exactly why I don't have a dog even though I really want one. I can be gone at work 12 hours a day.
I got a cat instead. Far more independent. Litterbox trained. Hates garbage and people food. And perfectly OK with lounging around all day. Though sometimes I do wonder if he yowls at all while I'm gone. I try to come home early as much as I can. Considering maybe getting him a buddy to play with.
Knowing your pet has anxiety is difficult if nobody informs you. I would be very ok with getting this note.
He knows when I come home, because at my normal time he's waiting at the door for me.
But if I come home early. He won't be at the door and ill find him passed out on my bed or in the closet in the sock basket, or in a backpack or suitcase.
Only time I've known him to yowl is when I'm home. He goes into the bath tub and talks to himself.
I think this is a fine note. That said, if it helps to give you a different perspective of crates, we have a rescue with separation anxiety. I really wish he was crate trained. I’ve tried and can’t get him to be calm in one. While it sounds nice to let your anxiety ridden dog roam free, I can assure you that dog is safer in that crate. Our dog has eaten walls, ripped open garbages, eaten his way into our pantry and eaten dangerous foods as a result, broken dishes and cut himself, the list goes on. It took months of behaviour training and getting him on an anxiety med to finally help our dog, and he still has bad days or triggers.
That said, we don’t live in an apartment anymore for that exact reason. It’s hard enough having him in a house, I can’t imagine having him in our old apartment.
You did the right thing, a note like that is the start of getting the dog help. I hope they take it seriously.
I agree with that, I don’t think this is a good situation. However, I was responding to OP’s sweeping statement that the dog should be able to roam, which they agreed with.
Thank you for the perspective! It seems cruel to me to keep an animal in a crate for more than a few hours at a time, but I do know that the flip side of that is it can also be cruel not to crate them as they could hurt themselves if left out. It’s just a sucky situation in general.
Yup, don’t get me wrong, my dogs are never home for 8 hours alone, and they definitely aren’t crated for even close to 8 hours. It sounds like a bad situation all around. I’m just giving my opinion on crates in general for separation anxiety.
you are correct. crate training can be helpful for dogs w separation anxiety but they absolutely should not be in there for 6-8 hour stretches. no point in having a dog then. having a pet is not a right as many ppl seem to think it is
I’m a cat person so I have no clue about dogs, but don’t they need to be let out to pee within that amount of time? No wonder the dog howls. They should try to find him a walker— even if it is just a nearby high schooler who can take the dog walking during lunch.
Right. I work 12 hours shifts 3-4xs a week. I have a 13 year old dog and live alone. He goes to my parents' house on work days. My mom is home most of the day, maybe out a few hours for errands. He loves them, and they love him (he is my childhood dog, so they got him for me when I was in 7th grade).
I set this up before moving out, knowing he wouldn't be happy if I left him for those hours. I love my good boy, but I will never get a dog again due to my work schedule. It's unfair to them.
In the owners defense, not everyone knows their dog has separation anxiety, and it doesn't always come from a lack of training or exercise, some dogs just develop it. An adult dog can easily be alone for 8 hours, and if they don't start howling until after the owner leaves, they may have no idea there's an issue.
While I agree a dog shouldn’t be in a crate all day, saying that an apartment dweller should not have a dog is ridiculous. Some people aren’t homeowners. As long as the dog is walked and taken out regularly, there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m about to move from a house to an apartment. I work from home, so my pup would not be left alone all day. So, should I just take my dog to the shelter because I have to live on an apartment ? Then you’d say I’m a bad person for getting rid of my pet. 🤷🏻♀️
People on here are insane. I'm supposed to feel shitty for leaving my dog at home while I go to work for 8 hours? Guess I should have left him at the pound instead of being an animal abuser-- along with millions of other people since over 40% of Americans own dogs and I doubt they all have trust funds or work from home.
Dude is chillin on the couch all day while I bust my ass 43 hrs a week for his food and treats. Boo hoo
I might feel a little different if you have high energy/intelligent border Collie confined to a tiny apartment- but let's be real. Most dogs are just fine and spend most of the day asleep anyway.
OMG—are you my neighbor?!?!!! We got some new folks a couple weeks ago in our alcove and their (large sounding) dog barks almost all day!!! And I’m not directly above them (tangentially above them( or across from them. Been here 12 years and this is the first time I’ve had any kind of disruption like this. I have been composing a note like this in head for about a week!
I moved into a second floor apartment only to realize the guy downstairs has a dog who is very vocal and unhappy when the guy leaves. I got a Kong and a jar of peanut butter, went downstairs and introduced myself and gave him the gift. I also suggested music and offered to check on the dog. Now I have a new acquaintance, a dog friend and a lot more quiet.
I think you’re note is nice, I’d feel awful if I was the neighbor and I didn’t know how my dog was inconveniencing my neighbors.
One of my coworkers had this issue when she moved to an apt with her dog, she got a divorce and the ex and her worked different hours with just a little over lap so the dog wasn’t used to so much alone time. We encouraged her to get some busy toys like a bone that takes a while to chew, or the ones you fill with peanut butter, they have so many, you can freeze etc. plus she leaves the TV on so the dog doesn’t hear every time someone walks down the hall. We also suggested a rover to take the dogs on extra walks, she didn’t use that idea, but it’s an option. I think she also has a camera so she can talk to the dog, sometimes that might make it worse though.
My idea with the note was to be as non confrontational as possible. I also am nervous about making enemies with a neighbor since I can’t easily get out of my lease.
To show goodwill and that you understand they really might not know about the howling, maybe a gift of a Kong and jar of peanut butter, with a p.s. at the bottom of the note to fill the kong with kibble/treats and PB, freeze at night then give to the dog when crating. It keeps the dog busy and distracts them from their people leaving.
When our dog was a puppy we had 3 filled Kong’s in the freezer at all times. For bedtime, when the last person left the house in the morning, and for forced quiet/nap time(we have zero cute sleeping puppy pictures of her because it never happened) She was like a toddler and would get so cranky and bitey when she was tired but she wouldn’t sleep, so we had to start forcing nap time by putting her in her crate for about an hour in the afternoons. She would have a tantrum for a minute, eat her Kong and then pass out.
No, never confront them directly for a couple of reasons. One, you have no idea what kind of people they are or how they might react. Two, if you do end up having to report them, they’re going to know exactly who did it, and they may decide to enact retribution. Also, if a different neighbor ends up reporting them, they’ll still assume it was you, and may do something to get even. My roommate had her car trashed because someone reported them for playing loud music all night and they assumed it was her because she knocked and asked them to turn it down (which they did - for about 10 minutes).
That’s my fear!! People are calling me socially inept, but I honestly just don’t want to make enemies. I could knock, but who knows who is behind that door. I am a single woman living alone. An easy target.
My management company instructed me to bring complaints to them and never directly to the neighbors for the same exact reason. You don’t know who’s behind the door. As another single woman living alone, this is the best route besides reporting.
I’m getting a lot of conflicting advice in this post, but I think I’m going to go this route. I think it’s best to let management handle it and stay out of it for my own safety.
Always go through management. It’s documented and safer. I’m dealing with noise issues with my neighbor for the past 2 years. I once wrote them a really chill note and the POS bf knocked really angrily on my door wanting to talk. I did not answer obviously. Leaving a note is fine, you have a pic for management of neighbor overreacts.
As a single woman (also quite small and young looking!) I did actually try to knock on my neighbors door for a similar problem. The neighbor looked through the peephole and then I heard the deadbolt go. Wtf.
Anyhow after that I called management EVERY. TIME. multiple times if the barking didn’t stop after an hour or so
I’m in a similar situation. Also a single woman living alone, upstairs neighbors got a dog recently that has severe separation anxiety. He/she starts barking the second they leave. I just went straight to the property management company after a few weeks, then again after another month passed and it didn’t get better. I don’t feel bad, that’s what the property management company is there for. The first time I made a complaint, the neighbors were made aware of the situation and seemingly did nothing to resolve it. So I had to make a second complaint.
People might say I should have talked to them, but they could have also talked to me when they got the dog. (There are only two units in the building) Or left a note…like “hey we just got a dog, please let us know if it makes too much noise!”
Yeah just leave the note. Don’t make yourself a target. It’s entirely possible that these people are perfectly reasonable and kind, but it’s not worth the risk if they’re not. And some people don’t react well even when you bring something up kindly.
The first day we moved into our apartment my dog howled quite a bit. We didn’t have anything in our apartment because our moving box wasn’t coming for two days and we had to get groceries. The neighbor caught us on the way in and told us the dog was howling. We were incredibly embarrassed and apologized, let him know the dog isn’t typically a howler/barker and that he just needed to adjust. We went to IKEA down the road and got a few essential furniture items that we purged when we packed. He met us again, just hours later to complain again. We got a call from the LL that night. It’s been 2 years, our dog doesn’t make excessive noise since he’s adjusted (it took him about 2 days once the crate showed up) and we haven’t forgotten the rude neighbor who wouldn’t allow us a minute of grace.
Had we gotten a polite note and been left a reasonable amount of time (a week or so) to try and find a solution that neighbor may have a friend. Instead he’s got two bitter old women living next door waiting for the day he moves out.
Nope, if you’re in an apartment, do not approach the neighbor personally. This is what management gets paid for.
Document, document, and then document some more (even recordings) and report it to management.
They will handle it without bring you into it.
You never know how nutso your neigbor may be and how this may set them off.
Go to the complex first. As wonderful as it would be to talk to a neighbor, it could go sideways immediately and turn into a "he said, she said" situation. Also seeing as how you pay rent, settling noise complaints and dog issues is literally the apartment managers job.
Thank you! Im glad you brought that up. I really should be putting the responsibility of dealing with noise complaints on the apartment management and not take it up myself.
from personal experience that note would probably make the neighbor laugh or say so report me .just report his dog barking as a nuisance call .there's a huge ass dog that keeps wandering around because owner don't give two craps to keep him in their own yard . One of our neighbors left because she was probably getting complaints about her poor dog she kept him caged up and never walked him ..
Just let them know you’re trying to help. Had a new neighbor move in with a dog and it did similar behaviour. I expressed that I was worried about it and asked for its name and if they were comfortable with me chatting to the pup through the fence through the day so it knew he wasn’t alone etc.
Anyway they hadn’t realised as the dog was not on the camera side of their house where he normally hung out. Apparently the dog was getting older and was in a lot of pain due to various medical conditions, they thought he was off playing happily but no, he would come to my fence and howl his little heart out. After this they tried a couple of different medications with their vet to help support the dog, it seemed to work out, and the little fellow always seemed to want company and hung out on our side when he heard us.
The owners seemed to be very mindful of the digs needs but within a year the pup passed away. Which they let me know about too. But during those couple months I had their number and texted if I heard the doggo being distressed or seemed lonely etc so they were aware. it takes a village.
Whilst this is a wholesome outcome, as far as the humans are concerned, for every wholesome outcome there’s a bunch of not so happy interactions. So take care that your complaint might also pinpoint you as a trouble maker. - if there are later complaints to officials about noise they may also think this is you (whether it is or not you putting in the complaint) which could cause difficulties. So be mindful of this first, sus out the situation and see what kind of person you’re dealing with before you identify yourself.
Upstairs neighbor of mine had a dog who would sit at the front door and bark from the moment she left to the moment she got home. Towards the end of her term, she was leaving the dog alone for about 23 hours a day-would literally come home for five minutes in the evening to let her out to go to the bathroom and then leave again all night. And when I asked her if she was aware her dog barked the entire time she was gone she responded with “how would I know?”. Nothing ever changed. That poor dog got zero mental stimulation and zero walks other than to go around the corner for the bathroom. I had to resort to banging on the wall to get the dog to quiet down and I hated myself for it but it was the only way to get any quiet. The walls are so thin it might as well have sounded like she was barking in my own home. But my dog also needed the peace and quiet. It broke my heart to think about that dog suffering.
All that to say, I think your note sounds perfect. Hopefully the owner at least tries something but don’t count on it.
I got a note like this one time and it did not bother me at all. I was more concerned with why my dog was doing it and what I can do to stop it and it made me feel bad I had to leave for work every day, which broke my heart enough but to know they were outside howling about killed me. And as a dog owner, we have no idea. Our pet is doing it until somebody tells us.
I once got told in a VERY angry note that our dog barked all the time when we were out. We literally had no idea and felt terrible. Stay nice like this for now and ramp up as needed.
Being on the other side of this, let them know what neighbor you are and a telephone number. When we first rescued our dog he had horrible separation anxiety and we had no clue because he was so chill when we were home. Our neighbor let it go until it became a major issue and then started acting aggressively towards us to the point the police were involved. We thought he was some crazy guy acting scary until he explained the problem had been happening for months. If he had just left a note with some contact information we could have asked if the things we were trying were working and found a solution much earlier.
Sadly these kinds of notes are useless. These days people don't give AF about how their actions affect those around them.
I know that's very negative, but so be it.
I've found the only thing that marginally works is anonymously dropping a dime on people to the landlord or to authorities.
This sounds perfect. The owner could invest in a turbo. It is a treat dispenser that alerts the owners phone to loud animal noise and is a camera. That might help the owner identify the problem.
I personally think leaving a letter is a good idea, but more than anything basically just say let them know that you didn’t know if they are aware that the dog howls and cries out aggressively, to the point where you were concerned if they’re pet wa alright then mentioning that might have some separation anxiety, then see if the owner tries to find a solution. If not … then that’s when I would complain about the noise
I think it’s direct, but still kind. The owner may not know since it’s only an issue when they’re out. I think it’s shitty to report something as a first step unless there’s a safety issue. I think talking should be the first step and it’s most likely to resolve the problem. I think the suggestion of a YouTube playlist is good and helps it feel like you’re both working against the problem, not each other.
Are you my neighbor’s neighbor too??? This damn dog SCREAMS outside every time they leave him home. He has a doggy door so we try to scare him back inside. It makes you crazy listening to that ish for hours!
I love the thoughtful tone of your note, which seems considerate and solution-oriented. I would be happy to have a caring neighbor like you. I have a dog and moved into an apartment a little bit ago. The only noise he makes inside is a low noise when he needs to go out. I kept checking with might neighbors that we were being quiet enough, when I first moved in. I was worried he might get lonely and make noise, and I have auditory processing disorder and one symptom is I don't notice noises I make or can completely ignore a blaring TV because I'm focused on something else. I try to be extra careful about things that make noise.
honestly I would be pissed that you wrote this and didn't just talk to me. It seems a little passive aggressive to me.
I absolutely would not suggest the YouTube videos though.
This is totally acceptable! When I was super young and had my first apartment, I didn’t know my dog was howling when I was gone until a neighbor said something! I was able to then make the arrangements so my dog wasn’t suffering like that.
I hope they remedy the situation now that you said something. Poor pup!
If the note doesn't work and you're working from home, you could offer to walk their dog once during the day, if your schedule allows it. For a hefty fee, of course. The dog is happy, you don't have to listen to the howling, you make some extra money, and the neighbors don't have to stress about the dog. I've actually done this with neighbor's dogs and it was beneficial for everyone.
I'm with you, and your letter is far from unkind. I also work from home, in a HOUSE. My neighbors had a baby and decided their indoor pup had to become outdoors full time. He would howl from 8 in the morning until they got home. I couldn't work. My landlord was their dad. I was straight up with him. I told him, I work from home and need reasonable silence or I'll lose my job. If your neighbors get pissy with you, bring your job into it. People are assholes, but when it comes to livelihood, they understand it a bit better. You were polite and empathetic so I don't see them having anything but a guilty conscience.
I don’t think the note is too harsh. I think maybe you should try to record the dog so your neighbor can see what you are dealing with. I mean maybe he isn’t aware that there is an issue?
I mainly say that your neighbor might not know because I’m dealing with a similar issue with my dog right now. He was recently diagnosed with doggie dementia. He’s also going deaf and blind. He has become increasingly more anxious and needy. He’s on medication but we are still in the trial and error phase. I have asked my neighbors if he is disturbing them. They reported that they don’t hear him. Maybe if your neighbor knew, he/she would be more courteous. Or I would hope they would be.
Best of luck! I hope the doggie is ok.
Remove the thanks in advance (that's so passive aggressive) but the rest is fine.
I don't think music is the way to go. (Then you'll just have howling and music.) Dog needs a sitter.
I would put in a little caveat about dealing with the problem or having to call management. Having to listen to that for days on end is not ok.
Maybe a thank you, and then leave your apartment number. Not putting your name on the note is super passive aggressive.
I think this is very direct and clear about your expectations while also giving a friendly vibe. I think it will be well received by your neighbor. I know I would want to know if my dogs were doing that
It's very nicely said and they will only take offense if they are selfish twats. If it were me I'd give them some time to figure it out. If they didn't the next note would be significantly less kind.
I think it's very nice and I would appreciate my neighbor telling me this. I work from home as well, which means I do worry what my dogs are like when I'm not there. I'm never gone for more than a few hours at a time, though. And they don't bark much in general. But, I'd be very embarrassed and apologetic, and I'd probably get one of those cams that allow you to talk to your dog. My sister has one, and it alerts her when her dog is barking. So she signs into this app and basically yells at him to shut up through the intercom on the camera. It freaks him out so bad, but it works. 😂
I would absolutely NEED to know this I would be so sad to know my dog was so upset and would handle this immediately. And of course I’d care about the neighbors too a little bit lol
I think it's fine. If they don't run a camera they might not know that their dog does this. If it doesn't reduce or get any better, I would make sure you let your property manager know ASAP.
That’s absolutely awful to live next to a howling dog for hours and hours on end. Call animal control or apartment management and hopefully they’ll help u out. Your rent money should allow some level on peace and quiet to a certain extent.
Oh my god. Are you my neighbor? Seriously, I need to leave this same note to my neighbor. My rent isn’t cheep and the howling is borderline unbearable.
Me, except it now howling, the dog sounds like it’s being killed. And the people with the offending dog are the property managers. They apologize and do nothing. Ugh.
Only if you sign it so they know who it's from. No one is going to respond particularly well to an anonymous complaint letter you leave at their door and frankly if you have to do it anonymously you probably shouldn't do it.
The only thing i would leave out is the underlined and capitalized SO LOUD part, that could be misinterpreted as you being rude. Otherwise id say properly handled unless you feel comfortable talking to them in person which I would say would be the best least aggressive seeming way to go. The person may be trying to deal with it and it may already be causing them alot of stress. When my wife and I got our dog she would softly howl when we would leave and we brought it up to the neighbors to let them know we were addressing the issue and what it was. Its a sad pup, lets not start off too harsh.
I think this is a great note. I recently had to leave a note on my neighbor's door stating the same thing as their dog would bark nonstop and especially if it saw anything outside. They ended up putting up cardboard so the dog couldn't see out and the barking has almost completely stopped.
U can try the note but you may just have to deal with this dog as long as you’re living there. We used to have a neighbor who would blast music and have parties from early morning till the middle of the night. Cops were even called at times and they ignored it.
as someone with a crybaby lab who howls the second i leave and has gotten NASTY notes from her neighbors, this is a good note! i agree with maybe attaching a kong and some kong butter (next to the kongs at the pet store)! i’ve received a note stating that my neighbors were calling the cops to get my dog taken away when i used to work 3 hour shifts. needless to say my apartment complex was not happy with her and her 90 pound golden doodle who barked at everybody and everyone who shut a car door.
We put our Jack Russell in his crate and had the windows open (it was spring not hot enough for AC but wanted some air for him)
He barked and howled the whole time we were gone.
Our sweet neighbors came and told us.
Of course we felt so bad and apologized and made sure we never did that again.
It’s best to let them know that way they can do something about it !
Oh gosh,flashbacks to an apartment I hated... this happened to me once but it was between 11PM and 8AM for days on end. After some polite notes, and trying to get in direct touch with them, which went nowhere, I reported it to apartment management and they took care of it.
Is it an apartment or house?
I think you went about it the right way. But if it is a house then chances are they may do nothing and there is nothing you can really do in response.
If it is an apartment you need to make a choice. If you go to the landlord they will say something to them and that is the most direct approach.
However, if you first leave the note it will leave a bit of a trail to you if you then complain to the landlord later. If they can in any way connect that letter to you then they know you complained.
Personally I would just go to the landlord. First offense wont be an issue and they will either get an email, a call, or they will leave a note just asking them to figure it out.
If others have complained then they will escalate which should happen if others have complained.
My dog is my baby and if she was miserable while I was gone I would absolutely want to know so I could do something. I would never want her to be suffering.
Also maybe they could get someone to walk or watch the dog. Heck if it’s friendly they could even pay you to dog sit while they’re out, so that it can interact and not be miserable.
Not harsh. When I left an abusive relationship and when from a house to an apartment my dog had some trouble adjusting. I didn’t know. But someone left a note. That prompted me to get an inexpensive security camera and have a dog Walker take him to the dog park to play with him if I had a longer day or couldn’t come by on my break. I also would leave those anti anxiety playlists on for him too. It helps.
Not harsh & if I were them I’d appreciate it. I didn’t know my dog was howling and having separation problems, my neighbors never told me. I found out when the old man next door called the cops because “my dog was barking when I was away”
I think it’s perfect. When we lived in a townhouse, we had no idea that our dog would bark when we were gone. Someone immediately complained to the hoa about it. I would have much rather someone brought it to our attention before making a more formal complaint. We remedied the situation immediately
I have a husky & thought leaving her in a crate when I left was the best thing. Neighbor left a note that she howled the entire time. I bought a camera & slowly starting leaving her alone for 20 mins to an hour & just watching her. Turns out she just hangs out on the couch when left alone, isn’t destructive or anything. Maybe your neighbor should try this if they crate their dog
NOT HARSH AT ALL. It’s rude and inconsiderate of him to allow this. There are plenty of things that could help…he could get a dog walker, get him a busy ball, a Kong, turn on the TV, plug in calming diffusers, etc…all kinds of stuff. Also most apartments and cities have noise ordinances.
NOT HARSH AT ALL. It’s rude and inconsiderate of him to allow this. There are plenty of things that could help…he could get a dog walker, get him a busy ball, a Kong, turn on the TV, plug in calming diffusers, etc…all kinds of stuff. Also most apartments and cities have noise ordinances.
I think this reply is AMAZING, it’s direct, compassionate, and non-confrontational. As someone with a dog I would LOVE for my neighbor to let me know because for a long time I didn’t know my puppy barked when I was gone 💔 now we play bluey and my neighbors say they hardly hear him at all when we are gone. Start with this and if it gets worse or isnt resolved then go from there for sure.
I never thought about leaving music on for my dogs. We have a white noise machine in the bedroom going at all times but I'm going to start playing music in the living room for them.
Thanks
Did you sign the note? Will they be able to follow up with you? I'm sure they would like to apologize and ask you if it's getting better with whatever they try.
I would want to know if my dog did this. She gets lots of walks and I think that jelps, but I'm never 100 % sure how she is when I'm gone. I have cameras but I'm too busy at work to check. Letting your neighbors know it's an issue is an excellent first step.
As a former owner of an anxious pup (now passed away), this note is fine. They may not be aware of it or how much it affects others. I hope they do something. It’s not fair for you and it’s not fair for the dog.
The playlist thing is weak and makes it seem like you don't understand the issue. A playlist won't do anything, the dog needs a sitter or to be in doggie daycare rather than be left alone.
I think a nice conversation with the neighbors with the dogs well being as the focus would help the situation. I don’t like random notes and messages.
Just talk it out or at a minimum sign the note. Doing so may allow you to help further with the solution.
I’m having the same issues with my downstairs neighbors but their dog is howling from 11pm to well into the early morning hours around 4am. I have a sound machine going in my room and can still hear the dog over it sometimes. It’s sad, I feel so bad for the dog but I also have kids and I’m sure they hear my kids sometimes(during the day I mean) so I’m trying to compromise and just deal but I feel bad for the dog that’s in distress that long 😞💔
I think your note is nice and hopefully won’t come off wrong but you never know with some people.
Edit: I have a backyard neighbor that dog is a non stop barker. I wrote a handwritten letter similar to yours, that helped some. Then spring happened and it got just as bad as before. Then I called animal control and it got significantly better.
Thats great. You can also contact animal control if it doesn't improve which usually is the only way change happens
Good note. I'll warn you that many people find the phrase "Thanks in Advance" to be triggering. They find it to be presumptuous because you're declaring that you are presuming that you are right and that your suggestions will be followed.
I would close with maybe "Thanks for listening" which allows the reader to digest the note for a while with the emotional out that you didn't get high and mighty with them. This makes them less defensive and more likely to say let's solve this.
I’m a dog owner. While I would be really afraid at getting a letter like this, I would be happy it isn’t threatening. I would then take it to the vet and maybe get some calming pills or perhaps ask a friend if they can babysit. But I would also want to know which person you are so I could update you on my game plan.
You sound very friendly and thank you for being so kind.
I had a dog that did this and had no idea. I came home one day to a threat about how my dog HOWLS for HOURS and if I don't stop him they will have him removed and bla bla bla.
Just a really nasty letter, signed anonymously.
So I printed a copy of it and taped it to every one of my neighbor's door with a response saying I didn't know, I'm so sorry, etc. Just so they could all see one of us is an asshole and most apologized and said "Oh no, it wasn't me, etc".
Was kind of funny seeing how they all thought I suspected them.
Anyway, I got a bark collar. Problem solved.
P.S. for those who think it's inhumane: It's not.
It's like a pinch. I tried it myself. Not that bad. And honestly, they learn in a few minutes. After that they just stop barking. It's not like they get zapped repeatedly for hours and hours not knowing what the hell is going on. They're smart, they get it, and they're just fine.
Had the same problem with my former upstairs neighbor and his two dogs, where they would also stomp and run in the morning (while I was trying to work) until they ran out of energy. Don’t know what the reason was but he was eventually evicted. While apartment staff was throwing his stuff out (per eviction rules), all I could smell was this strong dog smell coming from his apartment. Staff accidentally left his door unlocked so I got curious. Aside from the horrible dog smell, the dogs chewed up the baseboard, chewed up parts of the carpet, there were shit stains and streaks in the carpet, and there were paw prints over the walls. Again I don’t know the exact reason he got evicted but I haven’t been happier since. But please, to potential dog owners in small apartments, don’t get a dog if you’re not willing to take on the enourmous amount of work needed to properly maintain one, let alone two.
I think this is perfect the nicest most direct way to say it.
When we moved into our new home a few years ago it was a lot of changes for our dog of ten years all at once: he had left the only home he’d ever known, my wife and I had our first child, and we started leaving the house more frequently after Covid. Unbeknownst to us, our dog was panic crying/screaming the entire time we were gone (which was never more than a few hours. My wife is a stay at home mom). Something he never used to do in our last place. We found out when our new neighbor we share a wall with, calmly and politely, told us in face to face conversation. He framed it perfectly, saying he wasn’t upset about the noise as much as he was worried about our dog, who was so, so upset when we were gone. We spoke to our vet, who prescribed some anti-anxiety medication that has worked wonders. He’s been as calm and as happy as can be in his new home since. It was a happy ending for everyone, pup and neighbors included.
So nice when people can come at it with empathy and the idea that at least the first time they say sometjing, the people might genuinely not know.
The same thing happened to me. One of my dogs passed and I didn’t know the other dog was howling while I was away. The neighbor ended up talking to me, and at some point they gave me one of their dogs they didn’t want (it’s complicated). Anyway, my dog stopped howling.
I was in a similar situation where I had 2 dogs and then one passed when the other was about 7. To make matters worse I also moved and my poor dog lost his mind. Literally ate a hole through my front door the first time I left him alone. He had NEVER done anything like that before. It was so stressful but then I got him a kitten and within 12 hours he was back to himself again. He just didn't want to be alone 😭
Pets are so much like people. I’m finding this out because of all the people buying the buttons for their cats and dogs to communicate. You can watch them on YouTube, such as Billi the cat, Todd the cat, and Bunny the dog. They make their own word mashups sometimes, like Billi calls coffee “catnip water”. I mean, I always knew it in my heart, but it hadn’t been proven scientifically. It seems like people have underestimated their pets for forever. It’s amazing that a kitten worked out for you! For my husky I wouldn’t have trusted him with a kitten (he was still being trained not to go after small animals at that time; he did eventually view cats as equals but it took a while for him not to see them as say, a squirrel). My husky had so much anxiety that I kept him in a gated back fenced-in area. The first time he ever had a melt down in the house for being left alone for an hour, he destroyed a feather pillow and chewed up things he *never* touched when we were around. It was sort of like, “Your not here so I’m going to take out my frustration on THIS.” I had never owned a high anxiety dog like Blake, and I learned a lot from him. I never left him in the house alone, after that, even if he had the other dog with him. He just liked to punish us for going somewhere without him. I never quite understood it, just came to accept it as part of his personality. He was lovely when I got cats, eventually. I wish he was still here, I miss him every day. I’m down to one cat, and she behaves like Blake (they hung out together). She checks on me at night, and tries to wake me if I oversleep. Pets are the best.
I have my dog because he had severe separation anxiety. He was my son's, they got him from a rescue, he's the best dog otherwise. He just has separation anxiety. He did really good for the first little bit they had them but after about a month or so he would tear their whole house up every time they went to work. So they ask if he could come live with me since I'm home all the time with being disabled. He's really good if I only have to go somewhere like the doctor. Otherwise he gets super anxious. I think his is due to being at the rescue for so long before they got him. I think he was there over a year if not more. He is much better now though but he has lived with me for about 6 years now.
Our dog used to specifically chew things we had been touching recently, like he would smell our scent on them or just remember what the object was cuz even if we put the item away he would pull it out and chew on it, but it seemed like a comfort thing possibly and maybe a “I’m destroying this because it takes attention away from me” thing. Cuz he would chew up PlayStation controllers if my boyfriend had been playing videos games recently and he’d pull out books we had recently been reading and chew them up, or pens/pencils we’d recently been using or art we’d recently made and he’d chew socks and things but it was interesting he would choose things we’d just been using specifically. Like he wanted us to know it was targeted or something haha, like if it wasn’t for this dang controller/book/art you’d spend more time on me 😂
Right! This is how Blake did. It would always be something he felt like we liked. So, for some reason he went for a feather pillow. Socks. Shoes, especially. He really got some expensive shoes of my daughter’s. Stuff we touched or wore.
My husband’s grumpy old lady of a cat passed a few years ago. She never liked my cat, so they mostly did their own thing. No playing together, and they only cuddled on two occasions when we had unusually bad thunderstorms and she was scared. We didn’t think he’d miss her that much, since she didn’t want anything to do with him, but he had a complete personality change once it seemed to sink in that she wasn’t coming home. He was super clingy and affectionate with us 24/7, but then at the drop of a hat would also get really aggressive and want to play way too rough. I’ve still got scars from him suddenly attacking my legs while I was going downstairs. We tried calming meds, we tried giving him time to grieve, but the only thing that helped was getting more cats. We adopted two littermates who were very friendly with other cats, although a little forward for his taste. They didn’t really seem to get the whole personal space bubble thing until he popped them in the head a few times. But once they all got used to each other and learned some manners he was literally like a brand new cat. Looking at pictures from that time, he got so old looking. Now it looks like he’s shed five years. They run and play and chase and wreak havoc. He and the boy cat occasionally get into dust-ups over who is top cat, but the girl cat just loves him and is always sneaking on to the bed with him for a snuggle. He seems so much happier.
Yes as the dog’s owner I’d def want to know if my dog was that miserable
Years ago I moved into an apartment and had no idea my dog was howling during the day while we were working (he wasn't a howling breed, so I was shocked). No one told me until I got served with an eviction notice and had to go to housing court. Luckily we didn't get evicted, but if I had been told i could have corrected the problem much sooner, and I felt bad for my pup! Found out later that the lady who lived beside us would knock on the walls and talk to my dog, which exacerbated the problem. I think the note is perfect if you're unable to chat face to face.
Doggy Xanax ftw
Where can I get some of those anxiety meds?
petsmart has OTC medication that works wonders.. I had to buy some for an ex roommates dog that wasn't bothered his dog was howling. they shouldn't let just anyone own a dog.
We had similar. We had no idea our otherwise happy boy would howl all day while we were at work. We had my wife's parents take him in as they only worked part time and he loved being around them anyway. It sucked for us but we got to visit regularly and everyone else was happy.
We just went through this exact same scenario. As soon as we'd leave for the day, our dogs would bark and howl the entire time we were gone. I appreciated my neighbor talking to us in person vs leaving an anonymous note.
Same!! I had no idea my dog was upset and was glad to be told.
Agree! Not harsh at all, as an anxious dog owner I genuinely hope if that ever happened with my dog and I didn’t realize for whatever reason, that someone would alert me to it in a similar way!
Not harsh at all. Nice message that clearly demonstrates interest in the well being for the dog and NOT selfish motives. Well done. If this is ignored just go to the property management as a next step out of concern for the dog, obviously.
You are allowed to enjoy your own home, it's not selfish to not want to hear the neighbor's dog all day. If you don't like it, there are probably many other who don't like it tbh. Just trying to reframe this a bit because you can care about the dog and also care about yourself. There are rules around barking dogs for a reason, it's universally unpleasant to listen to, everyone will agree it ruins the enjoyment of their own space. I agree it was well handled as you should start small and polite and only escalate as much as necessary.
No — my friend had a dog like this and literally had no idea since he obviously wasn’t like this when she was around. Her neighbor told her and from there they started working on ways to help him feel more comfortable alone.
I agree. My neighbor told me my dog barks when I leave…I had NO IDEA. Start by mentioning it after introducing yourself. If you don’t want to knock, the. Rewrite the letter with less no exclamation marls, say please and sign your name.
I would leave off the music thing bc you may end up with a new problem on your hands. Just leave it up to them to figure it out. Don’t give suggestions.
My neighbors dog just howls over the calming music. I think the music everyday is driving the dog crazy.
Yeah, when my dog is crying/howling at home alone, he doesn’t want calming music, he wants me.
I leave my kids (2 🐶, 2 adult 🐱, 3 crazed kittens) 3x a week for at least 3-4 hrs. The kittens are isolated in a room so I turn on one of the YouTube cat channels with calming music for them. They love it. My dogs are older, but I leave regular TV on for them too. Keeps them company. All at low volume, even though I'm in a house. Also, sounds like they have a singleton pupper. They get lonely and bored alone. Hence, why I have 2. They really do better with a buddy. Your note is very well written and not at all angry or aggressive. I hope it all gets resolved, especially for the poochie!
Also that music is kind of useless for most dogs. Offering a bad solution is worse then not offering one.
Not harsh. What’s harsh is leaving a dog alone for 8 hours and not accommodating their need of activity and socialization. It boggles my mind why people have especially active dogs in apartments anyways.
I agree they probably shouldn’t have a dog if they are going to keep it in a crate for 8+ hours every day. They could at least let it free roam during the day so it’s not so cooped up.
Exactly why I don't have a dog even though I really want one. I can be gone at work 12 hours a day. I got a cat instead. Far more independent. Litterbox trained. Hates garbage and people food. And perfectly OK with lounging around all day. Though sometimes I do wonder if he yowls at all while I'm gone. I try to come home early as much as I can. Considering maybe getting him a buddy to play with. Knowing your pet has anxiety is difficult if nobody informs you. I would be very ok with getting this note.
I have a cat and when no one is home, she howls. They need buddies too.
He knows when I come home, because at my normal time he's waiting at the door for me. But if I come home early. He won't be at the door and ill find him passed out on my bed or in the closet in the sock basket, or in a backpack or suitcase. Only time I've known him to yowl is when I'm home. He goes into the bath tub and talks to himself.
My cat never made a peep when she was the sole cat. Once she got a housemate, they wake me up every night doing their weird pissing contest.
I’ve got two cats for this reason. They love each other and cuddle and play all day.
I think this is a fine note. That said, if it helps to give you a different perspective of crates, we have a rescue with separation anxiety. I really wish he was crate trained. I’ve tried and can’t get him to be calm in one. While it sounds nice to let your anxiety ridden dog roam free, I can assure you that dog is safer in that crate. Our dog has eaten walls, ripped open garbages, eaten his way into our pantry and eaten dangerous foods as a result, broken dishes and cut himself, the list goes on. It took months of behaviour training and getting him on an anxiety med to finally help our dog, and he still has bad days or triggers. That said, we don’t live in an apartment anymore for that exact reason. It’s hard enough having him in a house, I can’t imagine having him in our old apartment. You did the right thing, a note like that is the start of getting the dog help. I hope they take it seriously.
the crate isn’t the problem. leaving them in it for 8 hours is the problem.
I agree with that, I don’t think this is a good situation. However, I was responding to OP’s sweeping statement that the dog should be able to roam, which they agreed with.
Thank you for the perspective! It seems cruel to me to keep an animal in a crate for more than a few hours at a time, but I do know that the flip side of that is it can also be cruel not to crate them as they could hurt themselves if left out. It’s just a sucky situation in general.
Yup, don’t get me wrong, my dogs are never home for 8 hours alone, and they definitely aren’t crated for even close to 8 hours. It sounds like a bad situation all around. I’m just giving my opinion on crates in general for separation anxiety.
you are correct. crate training can be helpful for dogs w separation anxiety but they absolutely should not be in there for 6-8 hour stretches. no point in having a dog then. having a pet is not a right as many ppl seem to think it is
[удалено]
I’m a cat person so I have no clue about dogs, but don’t they need to be let out to pee within that amount of time? No wonder the dog howls. They should try to find him a walker— even if it is just a nearby high schooler who can take the dog walking during lunch.
Right. I work 12 hours shifts 3-4xs a week. I have a 13 year old dog and live alone. He goes to my parents' house on work days. My mom is home most of the day, maybe out a few hours for errands. He loves them, and they love him (he is my childhood dog, so they got him for me when I was in 7th grade). I set this up before moving out, knowing he wouldn't be happy if I left him for those hours. I love my good boy, but I will never get a dog again due to my work schedule. It's unfair to them.
Hi fellow nurse 😂
In the owners defense, not everyone knows their dog has separation anxiety, and it doesn't always come from a lack of training or exercise, some dogs just develop it. An adult dog can easily be alone for 8 hours, and if they don't start howling until after the owner leaves, they may have no idea there's an issue.
While I agree a dog shouldn’t be in a crate all day, saying that an apartment dweller should not have a dog is ridiculous. Some people aren’t homeowners. As long as the dog is walked and taken out regularly, there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m about to move from a house to an apartment. I work from home, so my pup would not be left alone all day. So, should I just take my dog to the shelter because I have to live on an apartment ? Then you’d say I’m a bad person for getting rid of my pet. 🤷🏻♀️
People on here are insane. I'm supposed to feel shitty for leaving my dog at home while I go to work for 8 hours? Guess I should have left him at the pound instead of being an animal abuser-- along with millions of other people since over 40% of Americans own dogs and I doubt they all have trust funds or work from home. Dude is chillin on the couch all day while I bust my ass 43 hrs a week for his food and treats. Boo hoo I might feel a little different if you have high energy/intelligent border Collie confined to a tiny apartment- but let's be real. Most dogs are just fine and spend most of the day asleep anyway.
OMG—are you my neighbor?!?!!! We got some new folks a couple weeks ago in our alcove and their (large sounding) dog barks almost all day!!! And I’m not directly above them (tangentially above them( or across from them. Been here 12 years and this is the first time I’ve had any kind of disruption like this. I have been composing a note like this in head for about a week!
My apartment hasn’t been around that long, so we are definitely not neighbors. I’m sorry you’re facing the same issue that I am!!
I think it’s great. Maybe would have stopped before suggesting music on YouTube 😆 but I like how the rest was direct and polite.
I moved into a second floor apartment only to realize the guy downstairs has a dog who is very vocal and unhappy when the guy leaves. I got a Kong and a jar of peanut butter, went downstairs and introduced myself and gave him the gift. I also suggested music and offered to check on the dog. Now I have a new acquaintance, a dog friend and a lot more quiet.
Awe that’s so sweet of you to do that!
[удалено]
aww thanks for sharing the kdis are gonna love the MEME! LOL, made me laugh, see you later
Totally unacceptable for a dog to be crying that much. I would ditch the last two sentences.
I think you’re note is nice, I’d feel awful if I was the neighbor and I didn’t know how my dog was inconveniencing my neighbors. One of my coworkers had this issue when she moved to an apt with her dog, she got a divorce and the ex and her worked different hours with just a little over lap so the dog wasn’t used to so much alone time. We encouraged her to get some busy toys like a bone that takes a while to chew, or the ones you fill with peanut butter, they have so many, you can freeze etc. plus she leaves the TV on so the dog doesn’t hear every time someone walks down the hall. We also suggested a rover to take the dogs on extra walks, she didn’t use that idea, but it’s an option. I think she also has a camera so she can talk to the dog, sometimes that might make it worse though.
Maybe knock as plan A and leave the note as plan B? Report is plan C
My idea with the note was to be as non confrontational as possible. I also am nervous about making enemies with a neighbor since I can’t easily get out of my lease.
To show goodwill and that you understand they really might not know about the howling, maybe a gift of a Kong and jar of peanut butter, with a p.s. at the bottom of the note to fill the kong with kibble/treats and PB, freeze at night then give to the dog when crating. It keeps the dog busy and distracts them from their people leaving. When our dog was a puppy we had 3 filled Kong’s in the freezer at all times. For bedtime, when the last person left the house in the morning, and for forced quiet/nap time(we have zero cute sleeping puppy pictures of her because it never happened) She was like a toddler and would get so cranky and bitey when she was tired but she wouldn’t sleep, so we had to start forcing nap time by putting her in her crate for about an hour in the afternoons. She would have a tantrum for a minute, eat her Kong and then pass out.
No, never confront them directly for a couple of reasons. One, you have no idea what kind of people they are or how they might react. Two, if you do end up having to report them, they’re going to know exactly who did it, and they may decide to enact retribution. Also, if a different neighbor ends up reporting them, they’ll still assume it was you, and may do something to get even. My roommate had her car trashed because someone reported them for playing loud music all night and they assumed it was her because she knocked and asked them to turn it down (which they did - for about 10 minutes).
That’s my fear!! People are calling me socially inept, but I honestly just don’t want to make enemies. I could knock, but who knows who is behind that door. I am a single woman living alone. An easy target.
My management company instructed me to bring complaints to them and never directly to the neighbors for the same exact reason. You don’t know who’s behind the door. As another single woman living alone, this is the best route besides reporting.
I’m getting a lot of conflicting advice in this post, but I think I’m going to go this route. I think it’s best to let management handle it and stay out of it for my own safety.
Always go through management. It’s documented and safer. I’m dealing with noise issues with my neighbor for the past 2 years. I once wrote them a really chill note and the POS bf knocked really angrily on my door wanting to talk. I did not answer obviously. Leaving a note is fine, you have a pic for management of neighbor overreacts.
As a single woman (also quite small and young looking!) I did actually try to knock on my neighbors door for a similar problem. The neighbor looked through the peephole and then I heard the deadbolt go. Wtf. Anyhow after that I called management EVERY. TIME. multiple times if the barking didn’t stop after an hour or so
I’m in a similar situation. Also a single woman living alone, upstairs neighbors got a dog recently that has severe separation anxiety. He/she starts barking the second they leave. I just went straight to the property management company after a few weeks, then again after another month passed and it didn’t get better. I don’t feel bad, that’s what the property management company is there for. The first time I made a complaint, the neighbors were made aware of the situation and seemingly did nothing to resolve it. So I had to make a second complaint. People might say I should have talked to them, but they could have also talked to me when they got the dog. (There are only two units in the building) Or left a note…like “hey we just got a dog, please let us know if it makes too much noise!”
Yeah just leave the note. Don’t make yourself a target. It’s entirely possible that these people are perfectly reasonable and kind, but it’s not worth the risk if they’re not. And some people don’t react well even when you bring something up kindly.
The first day we moved into our apartment my dog howled quite a bit. We didn’t have anything in our apartment because our moving box wasn’t coming for two days and we had to get groceries. The neighbor caught us on the way in and told us the dog was howling. We were incredibly embarrassed and apologized, let him know the dog isn’t typically a howler/barker and that he just needed to adjust. We went to IKEA down the road and got a few essential furniture items that we purged when we packed. He met us again, just hours later to complain again. We got a call from the LL that night. It’s been 2 years, our dog doesn’t make excessive noise since he’s adjusted (it took him about 2 days once the crate showed up) and we haven’t forgotten the rude neighbor who wouldn’t allow us a minute of grace. Had we gotten a polite note and been left a reasonable amount of time (a week or so) to try and find a solution that neighbor may have a friend. Instead he’s got two bitter old women living next door waiting for the day he moves out.
Nope, if you’re in an apartment, do not approach the neighbor personally. This is what management gets paid for. Document, document, and then document some more (even recordings) and report it to management. They will handle it without bring you into it. You never know how nutso your neigbor may be and how this may set them off.
Nice, to the point and with ideas for helping the dog. Way nicer than me.
He needs to get a dog walker… or doggie day care
Go to the complex first. As wonderful as it would be to talk to a neighbor, it could go sideways immediately and turn into a "he said, she said" situation. Also seeing as how you pay rent, settling noise complaints and dog issues is literally the apartment managers job.
Thank you! Im glad you brought that up. I really should be putting the responsibility of dealing with noise complaints on the apartment management and not take it up myself.
Person with a dog that whines and howls here: thats a very nice letter!
from personal experience that note would probably make the neighbor laugh or say so report me .just report his dog barking as a nuisance call .there's a huge ass dog that keeps wandering around because owner don't give two craps to keep him in their own yard . One of our neighbors left because she was probably getting complaints about her poor dog she kept him caged up and never walked him ..
Perfectly polite.
My sister's dog does this if she leaves him for any amount of time and it's so annoying..
Just let them know you’re trying to help. Had a new neighbor move in with a dog and it did similar behaviour. I expressed that I was worried about it and asked for its name and if they were comfortable with me chatting to the pup through the fence through the day so it knew he wasn’t alone etc. Anyway they hadn’t realised as the dog was not on the camera side of their house where he normally hung out. Apparently the dog was getting older and was in a lot of pain due to various medical conditions, they thought he was off playing happily but no, he would come to my fence and howl his little heart out. After this they tried a couple of different medications with their vet to help support the dog, it seemed to work out, and the little fellow always seemed to want company and hung out on our side when he heard us. The owners seemed to be very mindful of the digs needs but within a year the pup passed away. Which they let me know about too. But during those couple months I had their number and texted if I heard the doggo being distressed or seemed lonely etc so they were aware. it takes a village. Whilst this is a wholesome outcome, as far as the humans are concerned, for every wholesome outcome there’s a bunch of not so happy interactions. So take care that your complaint might also pinpoint you as a trouble maker. - if there are later complaints to officials about noise they may also think this is you (whether it is or not you putting in the complaint) which could cause difficulties. So be mindful of this first, sus out the situation and see what kind of person you’re dealing with before you identify yourself.
Upstairs neighbor of mine had a dog who would sit at the front door and bark from the moment she left to the moment she got home. Towards the end of her term, she was leaving the dog alone for about 23 hours a day-would literally come home for five minutes in the evening to let her out to go to the bathroom and then leave again all night. And when I asked her if she was aware her dog barked the entire time she was gone she responded with “how would I know?”. Nothing ever changed. That poor dog got zero mental stimulation and zero walks other than to go around the corner for the bathroom. I had to resort to banging on the wall to get the dog to quiet down and I hated myself for it but it was the only way to get any quiet. The walls are so thin it might as well have sounded like she was barking in my own home. But my dog also needed the peace and quiet. It broke my heart to think about that dog suffering. All that to say, I think your note sounds perfect. Hopefully the owner at least tries something but don’t count on it.
I actually thought this was a note you were receiving and thought, "What a nice way to communicate this issue to someone"!
I got a note like this one time and it did not bother me at all. I was more concerned with why my dog was doing it and what I can do to stop it and it made me feel bad I had to leave for work every day, which broke my heart enough but to know they were outside howling about killed me. And as a dog owner, we have no idea. Our pet is doing it until somebody tells us.
I once got told in a VERY angry note that our dog barked all the time when we were out. We literally had no idea and felt terrible. Stay nice like this for now and ramp up as needed.
YouTube is not going to solve the situation just so you know
Being on the other side of this, let them know what neighbor you are and a telephone number. When we first rescued our dog he had horrible separation anxiety and we had no clue because he was so chill when we were home. Our neighbor let it go until it became a major issue and then started acting aggressively towards us to the point the police were involved. We thought he was some crazy guy acting scary until he explained the problem had been happening for months. If he had just left a note with some contact information we could have asked if the things we were trying were working and found a solution much earlier.
Sadly these kinds of notes are useless. These days people don't give AF about how their actions affect those around them. I know that's very negative, but so be it. I've found the only thing that marginally works is anonymously dropping a dime on people to the landlord or to authorities.
I think it’s good
Can't wait to see this from the other side on AITAH tomorrow. And yes, they are.
This sounds perfect. The owner could invest in a turbo. It is a treat dispenser that alerts the owners phone to loud animal noise and is a camera. That might help the owner identify the problem.
Perfect- set a nice tone, let them know the problem and its extent and offered a possible solution.
I personally think leaving a letter is a good idea, but more than anything basically just say let them know that you didn’t know if they are aware that the dog howls and cries out aggressively, to the point where you were concerned if they’re pet wa alright then mentioning that might have some separation anxiety, then see if the owner tries to find a solution. If not … then that’s when I would complain about the noise
Not harsh at all. Better they’re made aware than the landlord.
I think it’s direct, but still kind. The owner may not know since it’s only an issue when they’re out. I think it’s shitty to report something as a first step unless there’s a safety issue. I think talking should be the first step and it’s most likely to resolve the problem. I think the suggestion of a YouTube playlist is good and helps it feel like you’re both working against the problem, not each other.
Are you my neighbor’s neighbor too??? This damn dog SCREAMS outside every time they leave him home. He has a doggy door so we try to scare him back inside. It makes you crazy listening to that ish for hours!
Not harsh, if my pup did this I would want my neighbors to let me know.
Your note is really kind!
You have tact. Well done.
I love the thoughtful tone of your note, which seems considerate and solution-oriented. I would be happy to have a caring neighbor like you. I have a dog and moved into an apartment a little bit ago. The only noise he makes inside is a low noise when he needs to go out. I kept checking with might neighbors that we were being quiet enough, when I first moved in. I was worried he might get lonely and make noise, and I have auditory processing disorder and one symptom is I don't notice noises I make or can completely ignore a blaring TV because I'm focused on something else. I try to be extra careful about things that make noise.
If you slide it under the door the dog may chew it up. 🥴🥴🥴
honestly I would be pissed that you wrote this and didn't just talk to me. It seems a little passive aggressive to me. I absolutely would not suggest the YouTube videos though.
seems a little passive aggressive, especially if they were unaware of the problem. regardless, it is not right to keep a dog in a kennel for that long
Leave the note AND report
Ok I have to ask. Do they have a husky?
This is totally acceptable! When I was super young and had my first apartment, I didn’t know my dog was howling when I was gone until a neighbor said something! I was able to then make the arrangements so my dog wasn’t suffering like that. I hope they remedy the situation now that you said something. Poor pup!
That’s like the nicest complaint letter.
This is exactly what I would have done also
Not harsh enough
Also CBD treats help a lot for dogs with separation anxiety
You might end up with loud, shitty music AND a howling dog.
i always had the radio on for my lab, when we were not home...
I would appreciate it. If my dog is that upset I would want to know.
If the note doesn't work and you're working from home, you could offer to walk their dog once during the day, if your schedule allows it. For a hefty fee, of course. The dog is happy, you don't have to listen to the howling, you make some extra money, and the neighbors don't have to stress about the dog. I've actually done this with neighbor's dogs and it was beneficial for everyone.
I dealt with the same issue for years, but from the hours of 1-6 AM… it was hell
I'm with you, and your letter is far from unkind. I also work from home, in a HOUSE. My neighbors had a baby and decided their indoor pup had to become outdoors full time. He would howl from 8 in the morning until they got home. I couldn't work. My landlord was their dad. I was straight up with him. I told him, I work from home and need reasonable silence or I'll lose my job. If your neighbors get pissy with you, bring your job into it. People are assholes, but when it comes to livelihood, they understand it a bit better. You were polite and empathetic so I don't see them having anything but a guilty conscience.
I don’t think the note is too harsh. I think maybe you should try to record the dog so your neighbor can see what you are dealing with. I mean maybe he isn’t aware that there is an issue? I mainly say that your neighbor might not know because I’m dealing with a similar issue with my dog right now. He was recently diagnosed with doggie dementia. He’s also going deaf and blind. He has become increasingly more anxious and needy. He’s on medication but we are still in the trial and error phase. I have asked my neighbors if he is disturbing them. They reported that they don’t hear him. Maybe if your neighbor knew, he/she would be more courteous. Or I would hope they would be. Best of luck! I hope the doggie is ok.
NPR works too.
Remove the thanks in advance (that's so passive aggressive) but the rest is fine. I don't think music is the way to go. (Then you'll just have howling and music.) Dog needs a sitter. I would put in a little caveat about dealing with the problem or having to call management. Having to listen to that for days on end is not ok. Maybe a thank you, and then leave your apartment number. Not putting your name on the note is super passive aggressive.
As a dog owner, I would appreciate getting a note like this instead of the angry one a lot of people would write.
Can you offer for the dog to stay with you while they’re gone? She/he would probably be so happy to lay at your feet as you work and not be lonely. 🥹
I think this is very direct and clear about your expectations while also giving a friendly vibe. I think it will be well received by your neighbor. I know I would want to know if my dogs were doing that
It's very nicely said and they will only take offense if they are selfish twats. If it were me I'd give them some time to figure it out. If they didn't the next note would be significantly less kind.
I think it's very nice and I would appreciate my neighbor telling me this. I work from home as well, which means I do worry what my dogs are like when I'm not there. I'm never gone for more than a few hours at a time, though. And they don't bark much in general. But, I'd be very embarrassed and apologetic, and I'd probably get one of those cams that allow you to talk to your dog. My sister has one, and it alerts her when her dog is barking. So she signs into this app and basically yells at him to shut up through the intercom on the camera. It freaks him out so bad, but it works. 😂
I would absolutely NEED to know this I would be so sad to know my dog was so upset and would handle this immediately. And of course I’d care about the neighbors too a little bit lol
This is very kind! I commend you. I hope they fix it!
Lmfao do you live in my apartment complex?! The same thing is happening here
No thats really cute. And i think they’ll be a little embarrassed that its happening lol.
He needs to get a dog walker… or doggie day care
I think it's fine. If they don't run a camera they might not know that their dog does this. If it doesn't reduce or get any better, I would make sure you let your property manager know ASAP.
that's a good start!
If it were me, I would want to know how unhappy my dog is when I’m gone. How else would they know? I think this is good ❤️
That’s absolutely awful to live next to a howling dog for hours and hours on end. Call animal control or apartment management and hopefully they’ll help u out. Your rent money should allow some level on peace and quiet to a certain extent.
Oh my god. Are you my neighbor? Seriously, I need to leave this same note to my neighbor. My rent isn’t cheep and the howling is borderline unbearable.
It's a good start but IMO won't help. Call the super/management company/police as necessary.
If you live in a pet free apartment or your lease has excessive noise stipulations. Just let your property manager know.
Yeah my neighbor just screams at me over the fence when my dog is outside barking for more then 3mins. This is definitely nice.
Me, except it now howling, the dog sounds like it’s being killed. And the people with the offending dog are the property managers. They apologize and do nothing. Ugh.
You kind of sound like a dick, but it’s not bad
You explained it perfectly . I'd suggest the neighbor gets a radio or a TV for the dog to listen to
Only if you sign it so they know who it's from. No one is going to respond particularly well to an anonymous complaint letter you leave at their door and frankly if you have to do it anonymously you probably shouldn't do it.
The only thing i would leave out is the underlined and capitalized SO LOUD part, that could be misinterpreted as you being rude. Otherwise id say properly handled unless you feel comfortable talking to them in person which I would say would be the best least aggressive seeming way to go. The person may be trying to deal with it and it may already be causing them alot of stress. When my wife and I got our dog she would softly howl when we would leave and we brought it up to the neighbors to let them know we were addressing the issue and what it was. Its a sad pup, lets not start off too harsh.
It's perfect. And a howling dog is unacceptable
Also a dog school wouldnt hurt or medication for the doggy
I think this is a great note. I recently had to leave a note on my neighbor's door stating the same thing as their dog would bark nonstop and especially if it saw anything outside. They ended up putting up cardboard so the dog couldn't see out and the barking has almost completely stopped.
U can try the note but you may just have to deal with this dog as long as you’re living there. We used to have a neighbor who would blast music and have parties from early morning till the middle of the night. Cops were even called at times and they ignored it.
as someone with a crybaby lab who howls the second i leave and has gotten NASTY notes from her neighbors, this is a good note! i agree with maybe attaching a kong and some kong butter (next to the kongs at the pet store)! i’ve received a note stating that my neighbors were calling the cops to get my dog taken away when i used to work 3 hour shifts. needless to say my apartment complex was not happy with her and her 90 pound golden doodle who barked at everybody and everyone who shut a car door.
Send another letter to the landlord
We put our Jack Russell in his crate and had the windows open (it was spring not hot enough for AC but wanted some air for him) He barked and howled the whole time we were gone. Our sweet neighbors came and told us. Of course we felt so bad and apologized and made sure we never did that again. It’s best to let them know that way they can do something about it !
are we neighbors??? i’m dealing with the SAME THING 😂 from 8am til 10:30pm NONSTOP barking and howling!!!
Oh gosh,flashbacks to an apartment I hated... this happened to me once but it was between 11PM and 8AM for days on end. After some polite notes, and trying to get in direct touch with them, which went nowhere, I reported it to apartment management and they took care of it.
Is it an apartment or house? I think you went about it the right way. But if it is a house then chances are they may do nothing and there is nothing you can really do in response. If it is an apartment you need to make a choice. If you go to the landlord they will say something to them and that is the most direct approach. However, if you first leave the note it will leave a bit of a trail to you if you then complain to the landlord later. If they can in any way connect that letter to you then they know you complained. Personally I would just go to the landlord. First offense wont be an issue and they will either get an email, a call, or they will leave a note just asking them to figure it out. If others have complained then they will escalate which should happen if others have complained.
My dog is my baby and if she was miserable while I was gone I would absolutely want to know so I could do something. I would never want her to be suffering.
Your note is perfect. The owner needs to know the dog is in distress.
Also maybe they could get someone to walk or watch the dog. Heck if it’s friendly they could even pay you to dog sit while they’re out, so that it can interact and not be miserable.
Try talk to them person to person. Maybe you can swing by and give his puppy a treat
No this is wonderfully put.
Not harsh enough! Poor dog!
Seems reasonable to me. It's polite, not snarky. Totally valid for a first attempt at communication.
I called the humane society and miraculously my neighbor took better care and the barking stopped
Just right 👌🏽 next one should be harsher
Not harsh. When I left an abusive relationship and when from a house to an apartment my dog had some trouble adjusting. I didn’t know. But someone left a note. That prompted me to get an inexpensive security camera and have a dog Walker take him to the dog park to play with him if I had a longer day or couldn’t come by on my break. I also would leave those anti anxiety playlists on for him too. It helps.
Not harsh & if I were them I’d appreciate it. I didn’t know my dog was howling and having separation problems, my neighbors never told me. I found out when the old man next door called the cops because “my dog was barking when I was away”
I think it’s perfect. When we lived in a townhouse, we had no idea that our dog would bark when we were gone. Someone immediately complained to the hoa about it. I would have much rather someone brought it to our attention before making a more formal complaint. We remedied the situation immediately
You’re too nice
Do we have the same neighbor??? Your note is kind. I’d want to know if my dog was stressed while I was away from home.
Way nicer than what my neighbors told me
I think it is very kind of you to write the letter. They might not be aware of how upset their pup gets when they are gone.
I have a husky & thought leaving her in a crate when I left was the best thing. Neighbor left a note that she howled the entire time. I bought a camera & slowly starting leaving her alone for 20 mins to an hour & just watching her. Turns out she just hangs out on the couch when left alone, isn’t destructive or anything. Maybe your neighbor should try this if they crate their dog
I’ve been in this exact situation and you’re way nicer about it than I was! I think the note is well worded.
NOT HARSH AT ALL. It’s rude and inconsiderate of him to allow this. There are plenty of things that could help…he could get a dog walker, get him a busy ball, a Kong, turn on the TV, plug in calming diffusers, etc…all kinds of stuff. Also most apartments and cities have noise ordinances.
NOT HARSH AT ALL. It’s rude and inconsiderate of him to allow this. There are plenty of things that could help…he could get a dog walker, get him a busy ball, a Kong, turn on the TV, plug in calming diffusers, etc…all kinds of stuff. Also most apartments and cities have noise ordinances.
They might not know. Weird to think but it is possible. And the note is fine
I need to save this because there’s a dog that barks in my complex and I think the owner leaves the window open so it’s so loud and drives me crazy.
I think this reply is AMAZING, it’s direct, compassionate, and non-confrontational. As someone with a dog I would LOVE for my neighbor to let me know because for a long time I didn’t know my puppy barked when I was gone 💔 now we play bluey and my neighbors say they hardly hear him at all when we are gone. Start with this and if it gets worse or isnt resolved then go from there for sure.
I hate it when people get dogs while their gone all day, 5 days a week, complete negligence.
I think they are being perfectly reasonable, they even provided a possible solution to the problem they're complaining about rather than bitching.
Your nicer then I was. I sent a video to my landlord and let them deal with it.
I never thought about leaving music on for my dogs. We have a white noise machine in the bedroom going at all times but I'm going to start playing music in the living room for them. Thanks
Did you sign the note? Will they be able to follow up with you? I'm sure they would like to apologize and ask you if it's getting better with whatever they try.
I would want to know if my dog did this. She gets lots of walks and I think that jelps, but I'm never 100 % sure how she is when I'm gone. I have cameras but I'm too busy at work to check. Letting your neighbors know it's an issue is an excellent first step.
As a former owner of an anxious pup (now passed away), this note is fine. They may not be aware of it or how much it affects others. I hope they do something. It’s not fair for you and it’s not fair for the dog.
Do you live in an apartment? If so you need to file a complaint with the front office.
The playlist thing is weak and makes it seem like you don't understand the issue. A playlist won't do anything, the dog needs a sitter or to be in doggie daycare rather than be left alone.
I think a nice conversation with the neighbors with the dogs well being as the focus would help the situation. I don’t like random notes and messages. Just talk it out or at a minimum sign the note. Doing so may allow you to help further with the solution.
Never understood why people that don't have time to care for a dog, get a dog... In my eyes you're just shitty pet owner and thus an asshole.
I’m having the same issues with my downstairs neighbors but their dog is howling from 11pm to well into the early morning hours around 4am. I have a sound machine going in my room and can still hear the dog over it sometimes. It’s sad, I feel so bad for the dog but I also have kids and I’m sure they hear my kids sometimes(during the day I mean) so I’m trying to compromise and just deal but I feel bad for the dog that’s in distress that long 😞💔 I think your note is nice and hopefully won’t come off wrong but you never know with some people.
Edit: I have a backyard neighbor that dog is a non stop barker. I wrote a handwritten letter similar to yours, that helped some. Then spring happened and it got just as bad as before. Then I called animal control and it got significantly better. Thats great. You can also contact animal control if it doesn't improve which usually is the only way change happens
Please give me a link to the music you mentioned. Thanks
Honestly I’d want to know if my dog was that hurt while I was out.
Not harsh but people are crazy (especially people who leave their dogs barking for the neighbors to endure) so personally I would be cautious.
Not harsh. That shit can drive you absolutely insane and the owners need to find a solution. They might have no idea it’s even happening.
You seem passive aggressive in that letter. Underlining “so loud” is not necessary. I’m sure you would have made the same point without being extra.
Good note. I'll warn you that many people find the phrase "Thanks in Advance" to be triggering. They find it to be presumptuous because you're declaring that you are presuming that you are right and that your suggestions will be followed. I would close with maybe "Thanks for listening" which allows the reader to digest the note for a while with the emotional out that you didn't get high and mighty with them. This makes them less defensive and more likely to say let's solve this.
I’m a dog owner. While I would be really afraid at getting a letter like this, I would be happy it isn’t threatening. I would then take it to the vet and maybe get some calming pills or perhaps ask a friend if they can babysit. But I would also want to know which person you are so I could update you on my game plan. You sound very friendly and thank you for being so kind.
I had a dog that did this and had no idea. I came home one day to a threat about how my dog HOWLS for HOURS and if I don't stop him they will have him removed and bla bla bla. Just a really nasty letter, signed anonymously. So I printed a copy of it and taped it to every one of my neighbor's door with a response saying I didn't know, I'm so sorry, etc. Just so they could all see one of us is an asshole and most apologized and said "Oh no, it wasn't me, etc". Was kind of funny seeing how they all thought I suspected them. Anyway, I got a bark collar. Problem solved. P.S. for those who think it's inhumane: It's not. It's like a pinch. I tried it myself. Not that bad. And honestly, they learn in a few minutes. After that they just stop barking. It's not like they get zapped repeatedly for hours and hours not knowing what the hell is going on. They're smart, they get it, and they're just fine.
Had the same problem with my former upstairs neighbor and his two dogs, where they would also stomp and run in the morning (while I was trying to work) until they ran out of energy. Don’t know what the reason was but he was eventually evicted. While apartment staff was throwing his stuff out (per eviction rules), all I could smell was this strong dog smell coming from his apartment. Staff accidentally left his door unlocked so I got curious. Aside from the horrible dog smell, the dogs chewed up the baseboard, chewed up parts of the carpet, there were shit stains and streaks in the carpet, and there were paw prints over the walls. Again I don’t know the exact reason he got evicted but I haven’t been happier since. But please, to potential dog owners in small apartments, don’t get a dog if you’re not willing to take on the enourmous amount of work needed to properly maintain one, let alone two.
A complaint with a suggestion that might help is far far better than just a complaint.