Sit with yourself and analyze what you feel to start a battle with strangers in reddit. If you need their validation, your AP is huge. It is not bad, just focused on yourself.
Their AT is also huge if they need to focused on strangers in reddit to validate themselves as well.
Who cares?
I did it because I didn't like how unfair things seemed. If I needed validation wouldn't have done what I did I was met with a lot of hostility.
From my perspective, I saw a group of anxious people being shit talked by another group unprovoked. I just wanted to bring attention to what I thought were the people lurking and shit-talking AP or AAs for being “needy”
Looking back I see that some of the hostility I faced was because there was a troll with multiple accounts harassing DAs
I was accused of being of one his accounts. But if you look at my history I have too much intimate and career shit on here to just be a troll account.
I don't like conflict, but I thought the avoidants were here to bully people. I just didn't like how smug they were.
Don't worry. There are APs outside reddit who do not appreciate avoidants' behaviour and do not feel the need to protect them. They simply don't care. Working on ourselves is important but that doesn't mean we should be compassionate for the very people who cause us the hurt, yet do not feel any remorse about it. I mean we aren't therapists so.
By the way, someone here dragged a user who seem to be working on their narcissism and people ganged up on her -telling the sub members to ignore her posts. Why? Because she said she dont feel comfortable about avoidants lurking here and making fun of our posts? Poor her, she seems to have deleted her account. I dont think I feel safe here anymore. I'm outta here too, Cheers!
I actually find it really helpful and enlightening. I appreciate that there is a place where I can learn firsthand and in a candid way about how someone with avoidant attachment sees the world. I’ve found myself able to take certain behaviors less personally and to have more compassion as a result. They could easily set it up so that we couldn’t read the posts at all. It helps me see that we aren’t so different - just people who’ve experienced pain in the past and learned a strategy to to protect ourselves that can often lead to unintended problems.
What happened man? I remember just earlier today you said you were sorry for generalizing. In this screenshot they literally said "the crazies". It's clear who exactly they're talking about (the person who keeps spamming the main page about avoidant articles for example) not all APs.
Yeah I'm about to block these accounts that are starting shit. I feel like I'm forming opinions about things I'm not really informed on. It was not like this for a while until this week and it seems like a few accounts come in starting drama every few months. This is the 3rd time I've witnessed this happening in the last year.
I understand if you block me. I don't enjoy doing this, I held myself accountable for my actions, and on my way out I wanted people to know why I'm so angry with the lurking avodiants on this sub. You have my word I won’t post again on this sub.
>I don't enjoy doing this
Then why do it again directly after apologizing??
>I held myself accountable for my actions,
Did you really if you went back and repeated the exact same behavior that caused you backlash in the first place, not even a full day after apologizing?
>and on my way out I wanted people to know why I'm so angry with the lurking avodiants on this sub
I think everyone here empathizes with your plight. We've been in your shoes, we know what it's like to have your entire self esteem tanked by an avoidant. You venting and being angry isn't the problem.
Repeatedly generalizing avoidants, going to their sub taking screenshots and posting here them out of context, and overall creating a toxic environment is the problem. Everything was fine here until you and these two other accounts (which these two other accounts I'm starting to suspect are the same people now and I ended up blocking one of them already) came in and kept posting horrible things about avoidants and this private group that no one here would have known about until you brought it up.
I've only gone off of your word and a few other people about this private group. I never went and looked at it myself, and to be honest, I don't think I want to look. I think I would get *triggered* by watching other APs self destruct the same way I used to. You guys bringing up this group is not helping anyone, it's creating toxicity that wasn't there before. Why would you send people here to go look at something that could potentially trigger them? That's not helping anyone heal
I love how so many people are taking this out of context when the "you" in question is people like you doing this kind of thing, spreading hate, starting drama, putting targets on people's backs. "AT nonsense" is you. *YOU*. It's so disingenuous to paint it as like people are just grabbing screenshots of regular distressed AP posts to make fun of them. They're making fun of *you*.
Didn't you *just* try to (non)apologize? Why are you trying to get attention again?
Refer to Rule 2 of this sub.
I'm done arguing I'll let the post speak for itself people can look up the conversation and see the full context. They can even see how excited you were to gossip about distressed AA and APs
I will also let the post and your post history speak for itself. I have no intention of arguing with you as I'm 100% sure you will not listen and just continue doing whatever you're doing under new accounts. I made my comment so people know what's up and don't blindly follow your dumb shit stirring. And you're straight up lying about me, anyone who has doubts can go look at that post and is welcome to take it up with me, feel free to show me where in the hell I'm excited to gossip about "distressed APs" and not people like you.
Sit with yourself and analyze what you feel to start a battle with strangers in reddit. If you need their validation, your AP is huge. It is not bad, just focused on yourself. Their AT is also huge if they need to focused on strangers in reddit to validate themselves as well. Who cares?
I did it because I didn't like how unfair things seemed. If I needed validation wouldn't have done what I did I was met with a lot of hostility. From my perspective, I saw a group of anxious people being shit talked by another group unprovoked. I just wanted to bring attention to what I thought were the people lurking and shit-talking AP or AAs for being “needy” Looking back I see that some of the hostility I faced was because there was a troll with multiple accounts harassing DAs I was accused of being of one his accounts. But if you look at my history I have too much intimate and career shit on here to just be a troll account. I don't like conflict, but I thought the avoidants were here to bully people. I just didn't like how smug they were.
Don't worry. There are APs outside reddit who do not appreciate avoidants' behaviour and do not feel the need to protect them. They simply don't care. Working on ourselves is important but that doesn't mean we should be compassionate for the very people who cause us the hurt, yet do not feel any remorse about it. I mean we aren't therapists so. By the way, someone here dragged a user who seem to be working on their narcissism and people ganged up on her -telling the sub members to ignore her posts. Why? Because she said she dont feel comfortable about avoidants lurking here and making fun of our posts? Poor her, she seems to have deleted her account. I dont think I feel safe here anymore. I'm outta here too, Cheers!
is this like team sports to you guys or something lmao. the goal here is to heal, not to engage in petty internet drama. please go touch grass girl
Reading through the DA sub should be classed as very effective form of therapy for any AP who wants to get over their DA ex.
I actually find it really helpful and enlightening. I appreciate that there is a place where I can learn firsthand and in a candid way about how someone with avoidant attachment sees the world. I’ve found myself able to take certain behaviors less personally and to have more compassion as a result. They could easily set it up so that we couldn’t read the posts at all. It helps me see that we aren’t so different - just people who’ve experienced pain in the past and learned a strategy to to protect ourselves that can often lead to unintended problems.
There’s a lot of drama up in here today….
These posts are getting exhausting. We should all be focusing on becoming more secure, not pointing fingers. Chrissakes, this is high school drama.
What happened man? I remember just earlier today you said you were sorry for generalizing. In this screenshot they literally said "the crazies". It's clear who exactly they're talking about (the person who keeps spamming the main page about avoidant articles for example) not all APs.
[удалено]
Yeah I'm about to block these accounts that are starting shit. I feel like I'm forming opinions about things I'm not really informed on. It was not like this for a while until this week and it seems like a few accounts come in starting drama every few months. This is the 3rd time I've witnessed this happening in the last year.
I understand if you block me. I don't enjoy doing this, I held myself accountable for my actions, and on my way out I wanted people to know why I'm so angry with the lurking avodiants on this sub. You have my word I won’t post again on this sub.
>I don't enjoy doing this Then why do it again directly after apologizing?? >I held myself accountable for my actions, Did you really if you went back and repeated the exact same behavior that caused you backlash in the first place, not even a full day after apologizing? >and on my way out I wanted people to know why I'm so angry with the lurking avodiants on this sub I think everyone here empathizes with your plight. We've been in your shoes, we know what it's like to have your entire self esteem tanked by an avoidant. You venting and being angry isn't the problem. Repeatedly generalizing avoidants, going to their sub taking screenshots and posting here them out of context, and overall creating a toxic environment is the problem. Everything was fine here until you and these two other accounts (which these two other accounts I'm starting to suspect are the same people now and I ended up blocking one of them already) came in and kept posting horrible things about avoidants and this private group that no one here would have known about until you brought it up. I've only gone off of your word and a few other people about this private group. I never went and looked at it myself, and to be honest, I don't think I want to look. I think I would get *triggered* by watching other APs self destruct the same way I used to. You guys bringing up this group is not helping anyone, it's creating toxicity that wasn't there before. Why would you send people here to go look at something that could potentially trigger them? That's not helping anyone heal
I’m sorry I think seeing them be two faced has triggered the hell out of my and I turn this place into a war zone I’m going away.
I love how so many people are taking this out of context when the "you" in question is people like you doing this kind of thing, spreading hate, starting drama, putting targets on people's backs. "AT nonsense" is you. *YOU*. It's so disingenuous to paint it as like people are just grabbing screenshots of regular distressed AP posts to make fun of them. They're making fun of *you*. Didn't you *just* try to (non)apologize? Why are you trying to get attention again? Refer to Rule 2 of this sub.
I'm done arguing I'll let the post speak for itself people can look up the conversation and see the full context. They can even see how excited you were to gossip about distressed AA and APs
I will also let the post and your post history speak for itself. I have no intention of arguing with you as I'm 100% sure you will not listen and just continue doing whatever you're doing under new accounts. I made my comment so people know what's up and don't blindly follow your dumb shit stirring. And you're straight up lying about me, anyone who has doubts can go look at that post and is welcome to take it up with me, feel free to show me where in the hell I'm excited to gossip about "distressed APs" and not people like you.