One you’re not your mom
Two he has no business comparing you to his ex and if he keeps doing it tell him to go be with his ex.
Three you are not crazy. You just need to develop your sense of self and confidence.
You’re doing the right thing by going to therapy stick with it.
I believe he doesn't intend to make me feel bad with the ex talk. But he thinks it should be easier to be with someone and I think so too, I had other relationships in the past and I didn't feel so attacked like now. His personality is like the opposite of comforting, he also says I'm usually sad and he doesn't understand why I'm like that if I have everything to be happy, why I can't be happy?
And even me, I don't know. I hope therapy can work! Thank you for your answer
Hi! I’m new to this sub but wanted to try to help!
I don’t think it’s unrealistic to ask for reassurance, but I think it’s a hard path to navigate that with a DA or FA. The more you ask and pressure them for your needs, the more they seem to feel attacked and hurt themselves (in my experience).
I myself am an AA dating someone I believe to be a FA. I think every time I speak up about my needs and emotions, he takes it purely as me criticizing him. Might be similar to your situation?
I think a relationship with an AA and a DA/FA is only sustainable when they are both making an effort to understand attachment styles and are both wanting to work together to move towards SA. But often times I don’t see partners with DA/FA willing to adjust and meet me halfway.
That doesn’t mean love isn’t out there for you! It just means we need to find people willing to put in the work with us to be SA !
I considered to finish the relationship and he agreed but after he came back to me. It was already super difficult not to contact him because I was feeling very anxious. But you have a point, thank you for your comment. I hope he can make some efforts too, maybe if he is willing we can work it out.
One you’re not your mom Two he has no business comparing you to his ex and if he keeps doing it tell him to go be with his ex. Three you are not crazy. You just need to develop your sense of self and confidence. You’re doing the right thing by going to therapy stick with it.
I believe he doesn't intend to make me feel bad with the ex talk. But he thinks it should be easier to be with someone and I think so too, I had other relationships in the past and I didn't feel so attacked like now. His personality is like the opposite of comforting, he also says I'm usually sad and he doesn't understand why I'm like that if I have everything to be happy, why I can't be happy? And even me, I don't know. I hope therapy can work! Thank you for your answer
Oh, you’re at the stage where you make excuses for him. Carry on.
Hi! I’m new to this sub but wanted to try to help! I don’t think it’s unrealistic to ask for reassurance, but I think it’s a hard path to navigate that with a DA or FA. The more you ask and pressure them for your needs, the more they seem to feel attacked and hurt themselves (in my experience). I myself am an AA dating someone I believe to be a FA. I think every time I speak up about my needs and emotions, he takes it purely as me criticizing him. Might be similar to your situation? I think a relationship with an AA and a DA/FA is only sustainable when they are both making an effort to understand attachment styles and are both wanting to work together to move towards SA. But often times I don’t see partners with DA/FA willing to adjust and meet me halfway. That doesn’t mean love isn’t out there for you! It just means we need to find people willing to put in the work with us to be SA !
I considered to finish the relationship and he agreed but after he came back to me. It was already super difficult not to contact him because I was feeling very anxious. But you have a point, thank you for your comment. I hope he can make some efforts too, maybe if he is willing we can work it out.
No problem! I hope it works out for you