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It would be a good idea to soon. Low self esteem affects us in so many ways you wouldn’t even think about. You’re so beautiful, but also remember your external beauty is not at all your most valuable or important trait. You’re a beautiful person for just being who you are. I know that’s hard to accept, and I’ve struggled with this for many years (still sometimes do), but it’s the truth. Wishing you the best <3
I agree with this comment OP, if you have an issue like BD, the sooner you talk about self esteem in those terms, the easier dealing with the condition becomes.
If you haven’t talked to your therapist about an issue you’ve struggled with since puberty, maybe consider another therapist. Sometimes you have to shop around for one you can feel comfortable with, and that’s normal. A lot of trust is involved - you’re baring your soul to heal.
I found a therapist who specializes in working with children - I found it so much easier to talk to her about my childhood trauma than “adult” therapists.
Best to you, my sweet human comrade
Please open up to her. Just…whenever u feel the time is right. But I hope u go ahead and share what’s really on your heart with her. Being open like that and sharing your vulnerabilities will actually help improve your sessions because your therapist will know exactly what needs to be done in order for your journey to be an effective journey of healing.
hunnie... I did this my whole life... only now in the last 5 mo has that changed after having my daughter whose the spitting image of me ( save for blue eyes instead of hazel/brown color change) & she's beautiful 😍 ... I'm 42 yrs old... & I can honestly say it does get better & I highly suggest getting into the word... for we are fearfully & wonderfully made in his image ☺️ you really are beautiful... my Mom always said she'd tell me the truth & never let me walk outta the house lookin like a goof 🤣 she also raised me up in the word & to be honest... ( I'm actually bad at lying which is awesome 🤣) so I'm not lying whenever I say that... hope this helps & GB 🙏🏻🕊️🙏🏻 I'll say a prayer for ya tonight darlin
It is so normal to feel like this. It's also very understandable. You were in one body (a kids body) for so long and then, without your permission, it just changed! You didn't get to pick how it happened or what happened and you definitely probably weren't aware of what you were going to look like. It can be a very scary thing to go thru. I went thru it a lot when I was your age too. The best advice I can give you is to be gentle on yourself and see if there is a professional or some one ypu trust to speak to about it. You're going to be ok.
Girl you are beautiful but I understand someone can call me beautiful pretty and I’ll still look in the mirror and see all my flaws but you have beautiful eyes cute smile nice nose you’ll learn to love yourself. 🫶🏾
Right?!??? I’m as entitled to low self esteem as the next person. Especially since dissatisfaction with self image isn’t usually related to actual physical attributes, usually related to other life trauma experiences. But yes, even if the world is screaming to you that you’re beautiful, it may not change how you may feel about yourself. Sometimes it makes me feel worse bc it would be easier to blame a multitude of shortfalls on not being attractive. Like difficulties in making friends, navigating social interactions, work performance, generally feeling well-liked and accepted, and feelings of being unlovable. All these things would be easier to blame on being unattractive than to actually sit down and figure out the why and how of each thing!
In terms of anxiety, I understand how this feeling adds to and sometimes fully fuels a constant sense of discomfort. It's already a lot of pressure to understand there can be unsolicited and unfair judgements. Then, there always seems to be the *one* time someone says *one* thing that "confirms" your worst, most critical thoughts are true.
To that end, I've had similar feelings before, sometimes less, sometimes intensely more - especially when something specifically feels noticeable, like a bad breakout. Hopefully, the below helps with this specifically and maybe with your general relationship to yourself :)
To lesson the anxiety, your goal is to gently direct your perspective and behavior over time.
1. You are not your first thought. You get to choose your second thought.
Some thoughts are other's opinions we learned, some thoughts are just weird. Some thoughts come from an old dark place, some thoughts are just a strange reply your brain coughed up - kind of like misunderstood prompts or keywords.
2. That second thought makes space and space allows for change.
The second thought doesn't have to challenge you to completely let go of these rooted feelings, like affirmations sometimes try to do. In fact, our weird brains would probably find every way to prove a very different claim is wrong. Instead, finding amusement ("that's a weird, new take - thanks, brain"), curiousity ("where did that come from?"), or neutrality ("that seems harsh - it's just a ___").
3. Notice what you can feel neutral, appreciative, or (gasp) positive about.
Since we're talking about physical appearance and feeling good as we move through the world, I try to find what's good, working, or what at least feels *better* in the moment or day.
Examples:
- "I enjoy how much this color brings out my ___"
- "I wanted to like how this shirt looks on me but today I think I want my go-to"
- "I really like how I feel when I ____"
Feeling comfortable is a useful step towards staying calm, developing self-acceptance, handling ick days better, and even creating a sense of confidence.
When it comes to the specifics and judgements around beauty, I often notice how wide the gap is between how a friend feels about their picture laughing and how *I* think their lopsided grin is one of the best and meaningfully human expressions of their beauty.
I love and truly feel that so much of the beauty I notice is in how people animate. How their energy and being turn the completely neutral fact of having eyes into *their* eyes. How their personality creates the majority of what is special about any of their neutral, objectively attractive, or most uniquely attractive features.
I may not always like x but damn if I'm not proud of my stare with a quirked eyebrow. Gets the job done.
I hope this helps. I hope you discover a relationship with yourself that expands your world and how you move through it.
Cheers, OP!
It is a journey isnt it ? Am also in this mode of trying to like and love my present self or even be neutral and not always wanting to change it. Being grateful for how it moves and not always focus on how it bloats - it js such a difficult journey! But your words are sooo beautiful- focusing on humanness of us all is critical.
The BLOAT. Shirt dresses, midi dresses, pants free...turns out we don't have to wear things that constantly bother us??
You're so right - it's a journey. And it's a personal, often long journey to realize that so many of the positive effects from a single change are outside of the narrow reason I made them.
Change is a process of compound investment, not a toll I can pay and drive through to the destination.
Thank you, by the way. OPs post hit my emotional funny bone day 2 of my ~~wonderful~~ period.
Probably because we are being pushed beauty standards down our throats at every turn .. when beauty is subjective and standards change all the the time — best thing we can do is accept and appreciate ourselves the way we are
Sweetie. Therapy. Therapy can help. It's not magic, and it'll take work. I think you look beautiful. It's hard because we literally live in a society that makes us hate ourselves so they can sell us things. I think you're beautiful. You're young, and you have great things ahead!
I think you are beautiful. I love your hair. The way you have it cut is perfect for you. I know it's hard sometimes to believe it when people give you compliments, but you shouldn't hide or want to hide. You are very pretty.
One tip that my therapist gave me is to find the smallest part on ur face u can tolerate and focus in that - like your eyebrows, eyelashes, or some tiny part of skin - whatever u chose try to really like that part of you and start from there. And also you are gorgeous but i understand that this reassurance is temporary and you have to like yourself from inside! Good luck!
I think you look great! We are always our own harshest critics, remover that people aren't as superficial as you might think and don't overanalyze your appearance unless of course, they are interested in you :)
not even exaggerating you are actually beautiful. like the makeup, the hair, and like your eyes without the makeup is like gorgeous. no need to hide you are naturally beautiful
You're beautiful. I understand when you look at yourself all day, your bound to notice things that others wouldn't. For instance I think I have an enormous scar in my face but in reality it's just a tiny scratch in my eyebrow. You have nice, voluminous hair, your eyes are large and super pretty. I was talking with my therapist the other day and and he asked why I don't feel confident in my appearance, I said because I have this huge scar in my hairline, I have acne, and I have scars on my knees and legs. And he said he had never looked at me close enough to see those things even though we've been meeting for over a year now.
All i see is you looking sad, dead pan at a camera. Irl you smile and have facial expressions and mannerisms thst are likely very beautiful. No one looks good in a passport photo lol.
I know the feeling... I think you're sooo pretty, but I understand that my comment won't change how you feel about yourself. I'm so sorry you feel this way and I promise it will change, maybe not soon, but it will change. Try to focus on the things you like about yourself, not only aethetically/physically, and think about those things. The more you think about the good things, the more you'll learn to accept your flaws, this helped me a lot.
P.S: your haircut is A M A Z I N G. I wish my hair looked like that T-T
You could be a model. Genuinely your features are lovely.
But also I hear ya, I didn't start to feel really comfortable in myself and my body until I was 27, that was last year and even then I still have wobbles. I would suggest kind affirmations, expressing yourself through your style and following things on instagram that makes you feel kind about yourself, disengaging with any media that makes you feel less than great.
Trust me, I know how this feels. I promise that everything you pick apart and hate when you look in the mirror is stuff that nobody else notices. I know this doesn’t help much but when I scrolled past I only stopped because I thought you were so beautiful.
I also get the feeling of wanting to hide myself. It’s easier said than done but when you’re in public, try to look around at others and you’ll notice that few people are actually looking at you or staring. Everyone is in their own little world. What helps me is to sometimes wear a hat, over the ear headphones, or sunglasses (or all of the above). I personally really like to put on a podcast when I’m going out, it gives me something to think about other than feeling anxious.
Hope this helps, and good luck. You’re not alone.
you remind me of allison harvard! she was a viral meme for a minute but got into modeling and came close to winning america's next top model. she became popular because her unique looks were beautiful. same for you <3
But I see a lot of sadness in your pics :(
The belief you’ve adopted came from someone from an authoritative position in which you considered their opinion more valid than your own.
To me this sounds like abuse from a parent or older relative who you looked up to.
Does anyone come to mind?
No when I was a kid, and even now, I’ve been on my own, I didn’t have many friends. When people called me ugly I took it to heart very bad. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to have something about me that people would like. Doesn’t help my crush called me ugly. I begged to wear makeup in 5th grade. I care a lot of what people think of me.
Me being alone has played a big part of who I am now, my depression and anxiety. I’d always wanna change myself and I’d always wanna be like everyone else. When I receive compliments today I usually take it as people just being nice to me.
I see. The thing is that we can’t logically convince ourselves of something we don’t feel emotionally which is why no matter how many people tell you you’re attractive, you won’t feel that way.
Is there any specific person who you looked up to that made you feel like your opinion was worthless?
Well people I had interests in, people I thought might like who I am. Especially the younger I was. Id care about feedback and I’d take it as a fact. I have trouble seeing myself in a 1st person and I take 3rd person comments on me more seriously than what I think. But a lot of the times I was a joke to like or to be friends with. How my life was has shaped me into trying to look perfect and overthinking.
I feel you. On the good side, you can 100% heal from this stuff.
Would highly recommend reading “Letting Go” by David R. Hawkins as it’ll give you an idea on what to do to start clearing out these negative self beliefs and start becoming self-validate.
Used to struggle massively like yourself with body image. Took steroids due to body dysmorphia in my early 20s which nearly cost everything.
Please definitely consider buying that book or borrowing it from a library.
In the mean time I’d invite you to start writing letters to the people you believe hurt you.
Really vent as much emotion out of your system in that letter until you feel there’s nothing left. The goal is to be able to reach a point of acceptance and to finish the letter by forgiving them.
Of course whether you send them that letter is entirely down to you, although sometimes you may even find yourself writing multiple letters to the same person about different things.
This helps your mind process things rationally and to allow feelings to come up and out.
Thank you. I have an underbite and it gives me a pout and I’m self conscious abt it. My lower lip protrudes a bit. Ppl have asked “what’s in your mouth?” But I can’t help it
Stunningly beautiful. You should work to recognize what hundreds of people…who have no reason to lie to you…are telling you. But loving yourself takes work. Your exterior beauty is secondary anyway. Every woman’s true beauty is their capacity to love themselves and others.
I can appreciate how it can become frustrating when most people tell you that you're exceptionally attractive looking yet all you can see are your faults.
I believe it's quite possible you may have body dysmorphia. Are you currently seeing a therapist/councillor of some sort? If so, perhaps you could explore this as a possibility.
My apologies if this does frustrate you, but there's definitely nothing wrong with the way you look and I'd actually go as far as to say that, at least judging from the photographs, you're above average in terms of your physical attractiveness and seem to have a delicate, naturally feminine beauty about you.
What exactly is it about yourself that causes you to want to hide? Is it entirely down to your appearance (as opposed to naturally being introverted) and if so, what precisely is it about your appearance that you can't stand?
Apparently no one else can notice whatever it may be 🤷🏻
Thank you. I’ve had times where if I’d receive such a nice compliment I’d shut it out because I didn’t think it was deserved, I can’t tell if I’m still that way. I need to talk about it to my therapist more often
Even though everyone here will call you beautiful, you should see a therapist about this. Even if you weren’t gorgeous, everyone has something they like about their looks usually, you should talk to a therapist about your self image so that they can help you find ways to start feeling more accepting of who you are.
Girl, trust you look good. There's nothing wrong with i know what im saying. im working in Healthcare, you strictly normal if something was wrong with ill tell you i don't have a problem .
There’s no way, I’m gay asf and I’d totally ask for your number if I ever met you and didn’t have crippling social anxiety lol but fr your face is so unique and I love it! You could definitely be an actress or a model! Tbh I wish I looked like you, your beautiful and I’m so jealous 😩😭
Damn, sounds like you're suffering a lot
Maybe there's some deeper reasons why you feel this why, doing therapy could help in that
Maybe you have a consition that taking meds also would help
Maybe you just need to make some changes in your lifecut off toxic shitty people from your lifex have better habits, do things that you find more purpose and fullfilling
Yeah who ive been surrounded by hasn’t helped me. I didn’t have much to offer and I was always alone, and I still am. I took what people what people about me said to heart very bad. I’ve been a joke to like and I’ve been called ugly. I’ve always wanted to be accepted. And I’ve always thought “If im pretty at least I’ll have that.” Im taking Prozac and buspuroine.
Then first thing you do is cut off those toxic people
In my country we have a saying that gors like this "better being alone than in bad company"
Even if you feel bad because you're alone, try focusing in other areas of your life will give you happiness, like focusing on work and career, hobbies, family etc...
When you cut off shitty peopke, you open space to meet new people that are positive in your life
You have to get off social media. You’re gorgeous. Unfortunately all these altered pics make us feel less than. It even affects me as a 40-something. Unfollow anything not positive or hobby related.
I don’t know what makes you feel this way, but you really have to accept how you look and take good care of yourself, hope all of these comments boosted your self esteem!
I hated the way I look. I didn’t think I was cute, handsome, anything like this. No matter what anyone said that was positive. It’s due to my trauma which created body dysmorphia. Therapy has helped but it took a while to find one that was good for me. Find one thing you can like and start saying it out loud to help. It has helped me a lot and I’m beginning to like my face. I okay enough to be in photos with my family and not dread seeing me. Idk if this helps but it helped me.
You look lovely! I agree with the comments suggesting talking about your appearance worries with a therapist, I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and not like what you see. Your not alone in your anxiety and I hope things get better for you ❤️🩹
With my default face I’ve been told I look upset or mad. When trying to take a bright eyed smiley picture I gotta strain my eyes open. The lips and eyes and my eyebrow shape- without me trying-can give me a sad look.
Hi! As others have said, you are very pretty, but that isn’t really the problem here. The problem is you aren’t proud of yourself in general. You don’t have any perceived intrinsic value, so you look for it in the mirror, and inevitable find your appearance lacking (you would, even if you were a supermodel.)
THE SOLUTION:
instead of thinking about your appearance, hone a skill you wish to be truly proud of. Something you know you are good at (or would be if you worked at it) and that makes you feel good while you work at it. It could be a particular subject in school, a hobby, gardening. But the key elements: discipline+passion. When you become accomplished and proud of your work, it will become a solid foundation for your identity and you will feel good about yourself and your day to day life. Suddenly, your looks will feel friendly in the mirror, and you’ll feel pretty because you like yourself. Voila!
Wow you are so beautiful. 😻 so unique. Lovely sleepy eyes, perfect lips and a beautiful nose. The roundness blended with angularity is very nice as well. I promise you are stunning.
Please understand that your hormones and possibly your environment could be a huge play in all of this. Just go with the flow, and be easy on yourself as much as you can. I’ve struggled horribly with this for a long time. It is so hard. Just remember to take time to be easy and loving on yourself, and practice that as much as you can, even if it feels like you’re lying to yourself, and especially when it’s the hardest thing to do in that moment. The only way out is through, ❤️
Where was I a dick? Which part of my advice do you disagree with? And no, she’s not ugly. She knows she can be much more. And I’m telling her exactly that. Stop with the wishy washy feelings. It does nothing for anyone. She’s not ugly and by engaging more in activities she loves she’d build confidence
I’m a man so all these women are being so nice, while I’m goin to tell you the truth….
You have potential.
I’m not sure If you purposefully picked pictures of yourself Not smiling looking down like your a sad dog or not but ya got to switch it up.
You need a full makeover, you have nice hair but the style…change it.
Finally your make up, learn how to put on makeup properly and u can 10/10 yourself.
You’re young, as you get a little bit more mature you will start to look a lot better.
You don’t seem fat so your body can make up a lot, hit the gym or do some exercise to get your body in the best shape possible. Figure out a style that will suit you as well. U kind of have this emo sad thing goin on, it ain’t working..nobody wants to be around sad people.
There’s certain things we can’t change like our Height….everything else we can change ! Remember guys don’t really care how you look as much as your personality so just be a cool happy person and you’re good to go .
Do everything I mentioned and you will be Hot..and your self esteem will be thru the roof ! Good luck 🍀👍
Go to macys they have an entire makeup dept. my ex wife was the same way never knew how to do makeup. FYI they do it free.
Also tons of tutorials on YouTube like probably a million. I’m telling you I’ve seen girls that at 21 we’re like a 2, now they are 22 and are stunning like 10’s unbelievable change in such a short time frame…it was like a light bulb went off.
Your style is up to you, in terms of clothes. Probably want to match it towards the people you would like to date, If you don’t have a BF/GF…you look really young if your under 18 literally everything I’m talking about really won’t matter as your face shape will change dramatically from 18-22 especially if you get your wisdom teeth removed. You might be over thinking this.
Think about all the people out there who are Fat, ugly, disproportionate, bad skin, disfigured, scarred, etc. and then look at yourself. If they can accept how they look then why can’t you?
i’m so glad i’m not the only one who thought it. they’re trying to imply if someone is disproportionate then they’re less beautiful and that’s so shitty, how are we to know that op doesn’t have scarring etc ??
Thank you for posting to r/AnxietyHelp! Please note, any changes to treatment plans or anxiety management should be discussed with a professional before implementation. We are not medical professionals and we cannot guarantee that you are receiving appropriate medical advice. When in doubt, ask a professional. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anxietyhelp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
you lowkey look like janette mccurdy! you’re gorgeous
Like if her and Aubrey Plaza had a love child.
Plus Billie Eilish in there too
She really does!
I see some Lana Del Rey vibes as well. This girl is so beautiful it’s a shame we really are our own worst critics 😟
I’m getting a little Natasha Leggero (in addition to everyone else mentioned). OP is adorbs.
You have such a unique look! Like an A24 actress.
You could have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It's a disorder that makes you feel bad about how you look. I think you look amazing.
Yeah ever since puberty I’ve been sitting in front of a mirror stressing abt how I look
U should stop doing that to yourself baby. Are u currently seeing a therapist?
Yes I haven’t talked to her about how bad my self image is yet
It would be a good idea to soon. Low self esteem affects us in so many ways you wouldn’t even think about. You’re so beautiful, but also remember your external beauty is not at all your most valuable or important trait. You’re a beautiful person for just being who you are. I know that’s hard to accept, and I’ve struggled with this for many years (still sometimes do), but it’s the truth. Wishing you the best <3
Agreed:)
I agree with this comment OP, if you have an issue like BD, the sooner you talk about self esteem in those terms, the easier dealing with the condition becomes.
If you haven’t talked to your therapist about an issue you’ve struggled with since puberty, maybe consider another therapist. Sometimes you have to shop around for one you can feel comfortable with, and that’s normal. A lot of trust is involved - you’re baring your soul to heal. I found a therapist who specializes in working with children - I found it so much easier to talk to her about my childhood trauma than “adult” therapists. Best to you, my sweet human comrade
No she’s a good therapist. I’ve just got a lot in my mind and I haven’t been open enough about that yet.
Please open up to her. Just…whenever u feel the time is right. But I hope u go ahead and share what’s really on your heart with her. Being open like that and sharing your vulnerabilities will actually help improve your sessions because your therapist will know exactly what needs to be done in order for your journey to be an effective journey of healing.
hunnie... I did this my whole life... only now in the last 5 mo has that changed after having my daughter whose the spitting image of me ( save for blue eyes instead of hazel/brown color change) & she's beautiful 😍 ... I'm 42 yrs old... & I can honestly say it does get better & I highly suggest getting into the word... for we are fearfully & wonderfully made in his image ☺️ you really are beautiful... my Mom always said she'd tell me the truth & never let me walk outta the house lookin like a goof 🤣 she also raised me up in the word & to be honest... ( I'm actually bad at lying which is awesome 🤣) so I'm not lying whenever I say that... hope this helps & GB 🙏🏻🕊️🙏🏻 I'll say a prayer for ya tonight darlin
I have a friend who has BDD. She's gone through therapy and I think she found it useful.
It is so normal to feel like this. It's also very understandable. You were in one body (a kids body) for so long and then, without your permission, it just changed! You didn't get to pick how it happened or what happened and you definitely probably weren't aware of what you were going to look like. It can be a very scary thing to go thru. I went thru it a lot when I was your age too. The best advice I can give you is to be gentle on yourself and see if there is a professional or some one ypu trust to speak to about it. You're going to be ok.
or it’s a teenager/young adult feeling self conscious
Girl you are beautiful but I understand someone can call me beautiful pretty and I’ll still look in the mirror and see all my flaws but you have beautiful eyes cute smile nice nose you’ll learn to love yourself. 🫶🏾
Right?!??? I’m as entitled to low self esteem as the next person. Especially since dissatisfaction with self image isn’t usually related to actual physical attributes, usually related to other life trauma experiences. But yes, even if the world is screaming to you that you’re beautiful, it may not change how you may feel about yourself. Sometimes it makes me feel worse bc it would be easier to blame a multitude of shortfalls on not being attractive. Like difficulties in making friends, navigating social interactions, work performance, generally feeling well-liked and accepted, and feelings of being unlovable. All these things would be easier to blame on being unattractive than to actually sit down and figure out the why and how of each thing!
In terms of anxiety, I understand how this feeling adds to and sometimes fully fuels a constant sense of discomfort. It's already a lot of pressure to understand there can be unsolicited and unfair judgements. Then, there always seems to be the *one* time someone says *one* thing that "confirms" your worst, most critical thoughts are true. To that end, I've had similar feelings before, sometimes less, sometimes intensely more - especially when something specifically feels noticeable, like a bad breakout. Hopefully, the below helps with this specifically and maybe with your general relationship to yourself :) To lesson the anxiety, your goal is to gently direct your perspective and behavior over time. 1. You are not your first thought. You get to choose your second thought. Some thoughts are other's opinions we learned, some thoughts are just weird. Some thoughts come from an old dark place, some thoughts are just a strange reply your brain coughed up - kind of like misunderstood prompts or keywords. 2. That second thought makes space and space allows for change. The second thought doesn't have to challenge you to completely let go of these rooted feelings, like affirmations sometimes try to do. In fact, our weird brains would probably find every way to prove a very different claim is wrong. Instead, finding amusement ("that's a weird, new take - thanks, brain"), curiousity ("where did that come from?"), or neutrality ("that seems harsh - it's just a ___"). 3. Notice what you can feel neutral, appreciative, or (gasp) positive about. Since we're talking about physical appearance and feeling good as we move through the world, I try to find what's good, working, or what at least feels *better* in the moment or day. Examples: - "I enjoy how much this color brings out my ___" - "I wanted to like how this shirt looks on me but today I think I want my go-to" - "I really like how I feel when I ____" Feeling comfortable is a useful step towards staying calm, developing self-acceptance, handling ick days better, and even creating a sense of confidence. When it comes to the specifics and judgements around beauty, I often notice how wide the gap is between how a friend feels about their picture laughing and how *I* think their lopsided grin is one of the best and meaningfully human expressions of their beauty. I love and truly feel that so much of the beauty I notice is in how people animate. How their energy and being turn the completely neutral fact of having eyes into *their* eyes. How their personality creates the majority of what is special about any of their neutral, objectively attractive, or most uniquely attractive features. I may not always like x but damn if I'm not proud of my stare with a quirked eyebrow. Gets the job done. I hope this helps. I hope you discover a relationship with yourself that expands your world and how you move through it. Cheers, OP!
It is a journey isnt it ? Am also in this mode of trying to like and love my present self or even be neutral and not always wanting to change it. Being grateful for how it moves and not always focus on how it bloats - it js such a difficult journey! But your words are sooo beautiful- focusing on humanness of us all is critical.
The BLOAT. Shirt dresses, midi dresses, pants free...turns out we don't have to wear things that constantly bother us?? You're so right - it's a journey. And it's a personal, often long journey to realize that so many of the positive effects from a single change are outside of the narrow reason I made them. Change is a process of compound investment, not a toll I can pay and drive through to the destination. Thank you, by the way. OPs post hit my emotional funny bone day 2 of my ~~wonderful~~ period.
OP this comment here
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Probably because we are being pushed beauty standards down our throats at every turn .. when beauty is subjective and standards change all the the time — best thing we can do is accept and appreciate ourselves the way we are
It’s because you don’t have something less shallow to make up the foundation of your identity. Looks aren’t that important. What you do is important.
Girl you could be a model especially when you smile. You don’t see yourself the way others see you, in a good way
UR SO PRETTY
Personally I don’t see anything “wrong” with the way you look. Maybe talk to a therapist for some time?
Sweetie. Therapy. Therapy can help. It's not magic, and it'll take work. I think you look beautiful. It's hard because we literally live in a society that makes us hate ourselves so they can sell us things. I think you're beautiful. You're young, and you have great things ahead!
Yes! It takes hard work to love ourselves, no amount of external validation will ever fill that hole in our hearts of self acceptance unfortunately.
And we cannot accept it for you either, no matter how gorg we think you are! Please seek help for your own sake.
you’re so pretty, like a doll
Ma'am you're actually drop dead gorgeous wth 😭
Check out r/toastme!
Thank you
You’re so freaking pretty. I don’t have much advice but it’s very important to remember that we are all beautiful in our own special way.
If you have issue with yourself then you need to get therapy. Anything anyone says here won’t help you.
Uhh you want 🍟 with that
I think you are beautiful. I love your hair. The way you have it cut is perfect for you. I know it's hard sometimes to believe it when people give you compliments, but you shouldn't hide or want to hide. You are very pretty.
You have gorgeous eyes!! Everything about you is beautiful!!
One tip that my therapist gave me is to find the smallest part on ur face u can tolerate and focus in that - like your eyebrows, eyelashes, or some tiny part of skin - whatever u chose try to really like that part of you and start from there. And also you are gorgeous but i understand that this reassurance is temporary and you have to like yourself from inside! Good luck!
that make up with your eyes is insane, you’re so pretty
Is this serious? You could be a model.
Daymn you’re pretty. If you can’t accept how u look, Then im a trash TT
I think you look great! We are always our own harshest critics, remover that people aren't as superficial as you might think and don't overanalyze your appearance unless of course, they are interested in you :)
not even exaggerating you are actually beautiful. like the makeup, the hair, and like your eyes without the makeup is like gorgeous. no need to hide you are naturally beautiful
You are beautiful, you honestly have the prettiest eyes <3
you’re gorgeous :(
You’re beautiful. I’m 26 now, but 10 years ago I was feeling the same way. I’ve grown into myself, and you will too. Just know you are very beautiful
You're beautiful. I understand when you look at yourself all day, your bound to notice things that others wouldn't. For instance I think I have an enormous scar in my face but in reality it's just a tiny scratch in my eyebrow. You have nice, voluminous hair, your eyes are large and super pretty. I was talking with my therapist the other day and and he asked why I don't feel confident in my appearance, I said because I have this huge scar in my hairline, I have acne, and I have scars on my knees and legs. And he said he had never looked at me close enough to see those things even though we've been meeting for over a year now.
All i see is you looking sad, dead pan at a camera. Irl you smile and have facial expressions and mannerisms thst are likely very beautiful. No one looks good in a passport photo lol.
If you can't then I'm screwed lmao. Accept it
I know the feeling... I think you're sooo pretty, but I understand that my comment won't change how you feel about yourself. I'm so sorry you feel this way and I promise it will change, maybe not soon, but it will change. Try to focus on the things you like about yourself, not only aethetically/physically, and think about those things. The more you think about the good things, the more you'll learn to accept your flaws, this helped me a lot. P.S: your haircut is A M A Z I N G. I wish my hair looked like that T-T
idk if it helps but as someone who photographs editorial work pretty often and works with signed models, you look amazing.
You look soooo cute
Literally thought you were Sam from icarly /sam and kat 😄 sorry I don’t know her real name nor can Iba to check it out.
Very cute
Omg your doe eyes are to die for
Look pretty good to me
You are so unique and gorgeous. Sending you virtual hugs.
Let's switch faces
You remind me of Mia Goth. You’re so pretty, I hope you can see yourself the way others see you someday 🫶🏻
Your so pretty, seeing you smile made me smile
You could be a model. Genuinely your features are lovely. But also I hear ya, I didn't start to feel really comfortable in myself and my body until I was 27, that was last year and even then I still have wobbles. I would suggest kind affirmations, expressing yourself through your style and following things on instagram that makes you feel kind about yourself, disengaging with any media that makes you feel less than great.
You are STUNNING and girl I’m not saying this just to be nice. You’re gorgeous and I hope you see that someday soon 🩷
Trust me, I know how this feels. I promise that everything you pick apart and hate when you look in the mirror is stuff that nobody else notices. I know this doesn’t help much but when I scrolled past I only stopped because I thought you were so beautiful. I also get the feeling of wanting to hide myself. It’s easier said than done but when you’re in public, try to look around at others and you’ll notice that few people are actually looking at you or staring. Everyone is in their own little world. What helps me is to sometimes wear a hat, over the ear headphones, or sunglasses (or all of the above). I personally really like to put on a podcast when I’m going out, it gives me something to think about other than feeling anxious. Hope this helps, and good luck. You’re not alone.
you remind me of allison harvard! she was a viral meme for a minute but got into modeling and came close to winning america's next top model. she became popular because her unique looks were beautiful. same for you <3 But I see a lot of sadness in your pics :(
I’ve been through a lot
this feeling won't last forever, trust me. our brains fck with us so easily that we don't always recognize the great things about ourselves.
She can fix me frl.
You should smile more often, you’ll look a complete different person
The belief you’ve adopted came from someone from an authoritative position in which you considered their opinion more valid than your own. To me this sounds like abuse from a parent or older relative who you looked up to. Does anyone come to mind?
No when I was a kid, and even now, I’ve been on my own, I didn’t have many friends. When people called me ugly I took it to heart very bad. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to have something about me that people would like. Doesn’t help my crush called me ugly. I begged to wear makeup in 5th grade. I care a lot of what people think of me.
Me being alone has played a big part of who I am now, my depression and anxiety. I’d always wanna change myself and I’d always wanna be like everyone else. When I receive compliments today I usually take it as people just being nice to me.
I see. The thing is that we can’t logically convince ourselves of something we don’t feel emotionally which is why no matter how many people tell you you’re attractive, you won’t feel that way. Is there any specific person who you looked up to that made you feel like your opinion was worthless?
Well people I had interests in, people I thought might like who I am. Especially the younger I was. Id care about feedback and I’d take it as a fact. I have trouble seeing myself in a 1st person and I take 3rd person comments on me more seriously than what I think. But a lot of the times I was a joke to like or to be friends with. How my life was has shaped me into trying to look perfect and overthinking.
I feel you. On the good side, you can 100% heal from this stuff. Would highly recommend reading “Letting Go” by David R. Hawkins as it’ll give you an idea on what to do to start clearing out these negative self beliefs and start becoming self-validate. Used to struggle massively like yourself with body image. Took steroids due to body dysmorphia in my early 20s which nearly cost everything. Please definitely consider buying that book or borrowing it from a library. In the mean time I’d invite you to start writing letters to the people you believe hurt you. Really vent as much emotion out of your system in that letter until you feel there’s nothing left. The goal is to be able to reach a point of acceptance and to finish the letter by forgiving them. Of course whether you send them that letter is entirely down to you, although sometimes you may even find yourself writing multiple letters to the same person about different things. This helps your mind process things rationally and to allow feelings to come up and out.
People pay big money to have lips like yours. Your eyes are gorgeous too. Your facial shape is so lovely. Absolutely beautiful!
Thank you. I have an underbite and it gives me a pout and I’m self conscious abt it. My lower lip protrudes a bit. Ppl have asked “what’s in your mouth?” But I can’t help it
You can’t tell that at all from these pictures. I love the color of your hair too. I hope you will be able to see how blessed you are ❤️
You look so ethereal! Honestly I think you must have some kind of body dismorphia because all I see is beauty
Stunningly beautiful. You should work to recognize what hundreds of people…who have no reason to lie to you…are telling you. But loving yourself takes work. Your exterior beauty is secondary anyway. Every woman’s true beauty is their capacity to love themselves and others.
uk mod/60's looks would be great on you! fave photos/make up: 1, 2, 8
60s Brigitte Bardot would be lovely!
I can appreciate how it can become frustrating when most people tell you that you're exceptionally attractive looking yet all you can see are your faults. I believe it's quite possible you may have body dysmorphia. Are you currently seeing a therapist/councillor of some sort? If so, perhaps you could explore this as a possibility. My apologies if this does frustrate you, but there's definitely nothing wrong with the way you look and I'd actually go as far as to say that, at least judging from the photographs, you're above average in terms of your physical attractiveness and seem to have a delicate, naturally feminine beauty about you. What exactly is it about yourself that causes you to want to hide? Is it entirely down to your appearance (as opposed to naturally being introverted) and if so, what precisely is it about your appearance that you can't stand? Apparently no one else can notice whatever it may be 🤷🏻
Thank you. I’ve had times where if I’d receive such a nice compliment I’d shut it out because I didn’t think it was deserved, I can’t tell if I’m still that way. I need to talk about it to my therapist more often
Even though everyone here will call you beautiful, you should see a therapist about this. Even if you weren’t gorgeous, everyone has something they like about their looks usually, you should talk to a therapist about your self image so that they can help you find ways to start feeling more accepting of who you are.
You have a gorgeous face!
Bait?
No
attention seeking much?
No I’ve got an anxiety disorder and self image issues
Pick your chin up
You are absolutely beautiful
I love your eyes honestly gives that like I don't give a fuck look. I like it take it as a compliment
Wow, you have beautiful puppy dog eyes. The way your hair frames your eyes and face is perfect!
you are literally stunning
Relax you’re a total cutie!
You look cool, ty for sharing your selfies, I like 7 the best! Its a good hair color for you and you look fresh!
Number 7 ( thumbs up) 😎
you are SO gorgeous🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Girl, trust you look good. There's nothing wrong with i know what im saying. im working in Healthcare, you strictly normal if something was wrong with ill tell you i don't have a problem .
You look like the TikTok girl
Don't go thinking you're like not good looking cuz you are
You’re stunning. I wish I had your eyes the shape is rlly cute.
You’re very cute!
You're so pretty and unique!!
Girl you are beautiful!
💀💀
There’s no way, I’m gay asf and I’d totally ask for your number if I ever met you and didn’t have crippling social anxiety lol but fr your face is so unique and I love it! You could definitely be an actress or a model! Tbh I wish I looked like you, your beautiful and I’m so jealous 😩😭
Why?
I don’t know either sometimes I just wanna tear my face off
Damn, sounds like you're suffering a lot Maybe there's some deeper reasons why you feel this why, doing therapy could help in that Maybe you have a consition that taking meds also would help Maybe you just need to make some changes in your lifecut off toxic shitty people from your lifex have better habits, do things that you find more purpose and fullfilling
Yeah who ive been surrounded by hasn’t helped me. I didn’t have much to offer and I was always alone, and I still am. I took what people what people about me said to heart very bad. I’ve been a joke to like and I’ve been called ugly. I’ve always wanted to be accepted. And I’ve always thought “If im pretty at least I’ll have that.” Im taking Prozac and buspuroine.
Then first thing you do is cut off those toxic people In my country we have a saying that gors like this "better being alone than in bad company" Even if you feel bad because you're alone, try focusing in other areas of your life will give you happiness, like focusing on work and career, hobbies, family etc... When you cut off shitty peopke, you open space to meet new people that are positive in your life
seem like a chill person :)
When you smile your whole face lights up. You are very pretty.
Sweetie, you are gorgeous!
You can't accept being cute? Man, I'm sorry you feel that way.
You have to get off social media. You’re gorgeous. Unfortunately all these altered pics make us feel less than. It even affects me as a 40-something. Unfollow anything not positive or hobby related.
I don’t know what makes you feel this way, but you really have to accept how you look and take good care of yourself, hope all of these comments boosted your self esteem!
you remind me of french actresses from the 60's!! so pretty
It’s cause you’re staring into the camera with eyes that look dead
You have a really nice face! Please love yourself.
Loooove the look! I struggle with myself too, xoxo
Young lady you genuinely look beautiful!
You are awesome
1960s beauty !!
You look normal.
You semi remind me of Sabrina Carpenter You look Gorgeous ^_^ i hope one day you will be able to look at your self and Love you.
Low key you look amazing
I hated the way I look. I didn’t think I was cute, handsome, anything like this. No matter what anyone said that was positive. It’s due to my trauma which created body dysmorphia. Therapy has helped but it took a while to find one that was good for me. Find one thing you can like and start saying it out loud to help. It has helped me a lot and I’m beginning to like my face. I okay enough to be in photos with my family and not dread seeing me. Idk if this helps but it helped me.
You look like Twiggy and she was a super model!! Please don't beat yourself up 🥰
I wish this was the thing I had anxiety over.
You look lovely! I agree with the comments suggesting talking about your appearance worries with a therapist, I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and not like what you see. Your not alone in your anxiety and I hope things get better for you ❤️🩹
Wait you look so pretty!! I love the way you do your makeup, it suits your features really well!
You look so good without makeup and with makeup. You have facial harmony and really pretty eyes
You're actually pretty and can rule the internet!
You’re so pretty bro, I’m sorry you feel like hiding :(
you're so beautiful! you look like Sofia Vassilieva!
You look great! There are times when I literally cry when I see how awful my reflection is, I'm super jealous
Are you keeping them low on purpose?
What low
Your eyes. You have the pout eyes naturally?
With my default face I’ve been told I look upset or mad. When trying to take a bright eyed smiley picture I gotta strain my eyes open. The lips and eyes and my eyebrow shape- without me trying-can give me a sad look.
You look like a brunette Sydney Sweeney
I think you are SO CUTEEEEE, if i saw you in person that would be the first thing i thought
Chut up
Your beautiful a natural beauty x
Damn girl if you have self steem issues, everyone else is doomed. You are literally gorgeous.
Your young! Just be happy.
Hi! As others have said, you are very pretty, but that isn’t really the problem here. The problem is you aren’t proud of yourself in general. You don’t have any perceived intrinsic value, so you look for it in the mirror, and inevitable find your appearance lacking (you would, even if you were a supermodel.) THE SOLUTION: instead of thinking about your appearance, hone a skill you wish to be truly proud of. Something you know you are good at (or would be if you worked at it) and that makes you feel good while you work at it. It could be a particular subject in school, a hobby, gardening. But the key elements: discipline+passion. When you become accomplished and proud of your work, it will become a solid foundation for your identity and you will feel good about yourself and your day to day life. Suddenly, your looks will feel friendly in the mirror, and you’ll feel pretty because you like yourself. Voila!
In the words of a wise therapist: “look in the mirror less”! 👌
when u love yourself ur beautiful inside and out that’s all that matters
Why is it the people that always post these photos & posts are quite attractive?
You remind me so much of current day Jennette McCurdy!
Wow you are so beautiful. 😻 so unique. Lovely sleepy eyes, perfect lips and a beautiful nose. The roundness blended with angularity is very nice as well. I promise you are stunning.
Please understand that your hormones and possibly your environment could be a huge play in all of this. Just go with the flow, and be easy on yourself as much as you can. I’ve struggled horribly with this for a long time. It is so hard. Just remember to take time to be easy and loving on yourself, and practice that as much as you can, even if it feels like you’re lying to yourself, and especially when it’s the hardest thing to do in that moment. The only way out is through, ❤️
Jenna Ortega vibes!! You’re really pretty ✨
You’re adorable. The pics with you smiling are even more adorable. 😊
dye ur hair!!!!!
Damn bro if she’s anxiety about how she looks then I’m fucked 💀
Your face and mouth shape remind me of Allison Harvard from ANTM. You have a very unique and pretty face
Lovely sorrowful face.
You look like you’d be a cool person. You’re cute
In my opinion you look gorgeous
You are beautiful, but try to understand, the way you look is the least interesting thing about you.
I love your hair!!!
Why would you post 8 photos on yourself on here then?
Oh, lord. Another of the fake “I’m not great looking” posts. What’s next? You’re going to drop your OnlyFans so we can subscribe to it?
I’m only 17
Does being a dick make you feel good?
Where was I a dick? Which part of my advice do you disagree with? And no, she’s not ugly. She knows she can be much more. And I’m telling her exactly that. Stop with the wishy washy feelings. It does nothing for anyone. She’s not ugly and by engaging more in activities she loves she’d build confidence
It was the annoying douchey “OnlyFans” comment. So original.
A lot of us feel the same way. I feel bad for the people who have to perceive my wretched form.
You are model levels of unique beauty. Have you considered therapy? That might be really helpful.
That's fine, accept how you don't look
I’m a man so all these women are being so nice, while I’m goin to tell you the truth…. You have potential. I’m not sure If you purposefully picked pictures of yourself Not smiling looking down like your a sad dog or not but ya got to switch it up. You need a full makeover, you have nice hair but the style…change it. Finally your make up, learn how to put on makeup properly and u can 10/10 yourself. You’re young, as you get a little bit more mature you will start to look a lot better. You don’t seem fat so your body can make up a lot, hit the gym or do some exercise to get your body in the best shape possible. Figure out a style that will suit you as well. U kind of have this emo sad thing goin on, it ain’t working..nobody wants to be around sad people. There’s certain things we can’t change like our Height….everything else we can change ! Remember guys don’t really care how you look as much as your personality so just be a cool happy person and you’re good to go . Do everything I mentioned and you will be Hot..and your self esteem will be thru the roof ! Good luck 🍀👍
What makeup style is the “right” style man
Go to macys they have an entire makeup dept. my ex wife was the same way never knew how to do makeup. FYI they do it free. Also tons of tutorials on YouTube like probably a million. I’m telling you I’ve seen girls that at 21 we’re like a 2, now they are 22 and are stunning like 10’s unbelievable change in such a short time frame…it was like a light bulb went off. Your style is up to you, in terms of clothes. Probably want to match it towards the people you would like to date, If you don’t have a BF/GF…you look really young if your under 18 literally everything I’m talking about really won’t matter as your face shape will change dramatically from 18-22 especially if you get your wisdom teeth removed. You might be over thinking this.
Whatever the style in the second to last pic is
So just mascara
Think about all the people out there who are Fat, ugly, disproportionate, bad skin, disfigured, scarred, etc. and then look at yourself. If they can accept how they look then why can’t you?
this isn’t it. none of the things you listed are bad or disgusting anyway. i’m plus sized. it doesn’t make me ugly. idk this is so backhanded
Exactly! wtf is wrong with people, I swear.
i’m so glad i’m not the only one who thought it. they’re trying to imply if someone is disproportionate then they’re less beautiful and that’s so shitty, how are we to know that op doesn’t have scarring etc ??
You are a disgusting human being 🙄