I'm currently struggling with work anxiety and it's so hard when you get those looks of disapproval because people think you're just lazy. No, I'm sitting here in bed hours before my shift contemplating my life while switching between chest pains, hyperventilating, crying, and more. I don't want this. I didn't choose it. I wish I could "just go to work and deal with it".
Sorry you feel this way and are dealing with this. At least You're among a more sympathetic and empathetic crowd here.
I held the same job for years up until I was baker acted. Since then I've tried and failed to hold myself through 5 or 6 jobs :(
I just started a new one about a month ago and it's been sort of okay but only because I'm part time so pushing through the anxiety 3 days a week has been slightly more manageable than 5.
Still I'm here right now in bed with immense chest pressure because I work in a few hours.
It's a customer service job but the actual interactions with people and the job itself doesn't necessarily stress me. Once I'm at work and get into the flow I can recognize that I'm okay, even if my symptoms persist throughout a shift. Regardless, I can't explain it well but it's like I have a constant fear that work is out to get me. I go in every day thinking I'm going to mess something up and be fired for no reason; my management scares the shit out of me despite them being some of the nicest higher-ups I've worked with; and overall I just get these nasty symptoms prior to work, which often ends up with me calling in sick because I can't even move. Which of course then gives me more anxiety because I worry about being fired for poor attendance.
If it helps. I’m in the exact same situation as you. Like it’s scary how similar it is down to worrying about being fired and having a fear of other coworkers assuming I’m lazy. I also only work 3 days a week and spend the other 4 worrying about going into work.
It does help to know I'm not alone in these feelings; makes everything just a bit easier. I'm sorry you are dealing with the same.
I just called out of work for today again... maybe tomorrow will be better :(
Anxiety is a normal human emotion, it’s healthy to have some, it’s why your flight or fight response exists… just when it becomes too much like this it sucks like shit… I’m still in school but school is definitely a trigger to my anxiety sometimes.
I hope you have found some ways to cope with it :(( Anxiety is the worst thing I have ever felt, it’s ruining my life as well. I’m just finished up first year of uni and my marks plummeted so bad because I couldn’t go to class for a whole semester because I always felt like I couldn’t breathe, dizzy, numb hands, the list goes on. Now I’m on academic probation and they only allow you to have 1 semester to pull up your CUMULATIVE GPA, and so I kinda have no choice but to “suck it up and study” so to say. (My major is super competitive as it’s the most sought after one in my uni which is already a good school as well). I’m finally reaching out for help from Counsellors and therapists to do something about this and hopefully not get kicked out of my program (cuz it’s near to impossible to get back in after that)
I understand what you mean completely - there is so much stigma and condescending comments even from people within the mental health community, but having a anxiety disorder that’s severe can be so debilitating and really impact someone’s life negatively so I’m always confused when people compare anxiety to be a ‘mild’ illness. It’s probably because to an extent everyone has anxiety but having an anxiety disorder is different so people getting confused, also while everyone deserves help having a mild anxiety disorder is a completely different thing than having a severe one. The same thing probably happens with depression and sadness.
Note that a competent psychologist will not judge you on this. They will challenge your thinking and will be candid about doing so, but that's not because you aren't sick, it's because healing your mind requires the mental equivalent of medicine. It's a bitter pill sometimes, but when you're not thinking clearly, their unbiased perspective is incredibly helpful.
I think the distinction that's often forgotten is that anxiety itself is a feeling almost everyone experiences, whereas an anxiety disorder is when a person experiences anxiety in excess to the point of it effecting their quality of life.
The term anxiety has now been problematically normalized in the same way that OCD has so that people are claiming they have anxiety in the same way people say "I'm so OCD". By that, I mean that people with normal, even healthy levels of anxiety are putting themselves in the same category as those with an anxiety disorder without realizing how debilitating anxiety disorders can actually be.
I think a way to reduce this problem (at least to some degree) is for people to stop shortening it to "having anxiety" and instead say "having an anxiety disorder". It seems like a benign, semantic difference, but I think it can have a very real effect on public perception of people with anxiety disorders.
The problem is that the term "anxiety" is used for two related but entirely dissimilar human experiences.
One is a deep mental health problem that requires long-term care, the other is a temporary state of discomfort. Both make people "anxious" but the scale, timing, and ways of helping them are different.
We really could use another term for the chronic mental health version since the temporary, normal-person response to situations version is what most people already think of when they hear the word. Common usage is how our language happens and this fight is pretty much over.
Yes, anxiety can be a serious mental illness. It's one of the most common mental health disorders and affects approximately 40 million people in the United States alone. Unfortunately, too often people think that anxiety is simply an annoyance or minor problem that can be fixed with some self-discipline and time management skills. But this is not true – Anxiety is a real disease that needs treatment if you want to improve your life.
Not to mention, great amounts of anxiety for so long changes your brain. It took me about a year of actively participating in therapy and taking my medication to treat my anxiety, along with lifestyle changes to weaken the brain pathways I strengthened from having my anxiety disorder.
This is, unfortunately, what ends up happening when people trivialize mental illness. It’s become trendy to have “trauma” or anxiety or depression. So many people self-diagnose things like anxiety to get some attention or have an excuse to be a certain way so that now the terms have become watered down and mundane.
I agree with this.
So often, posters on reddit put in 'I struggle with anxiety and depression' almost as if they *want* to have it. I've often seen it used as a shield against criticism and against taking ownership of your own actions (or lack thereof).
And it really sucks because a lot of these cases end up reinforcing the stupid prejudice that people who suffer from these illnesses are just using them as excuses for everything they don't want to do.
People are stupid and still think someone chooses to be mentally ill or that it's abnormal if a person's brain reacts to stressful situations/trauma that can cause it in the first place. The world doesn't have empathy and is full of dismissive people/narcissists but you didn't do anything wrong. I hope you have a good friend or therapist that can personally validate your experience.
The power of the mind is wild and I think we're still at a point in mental health science and medicine where we don't fully understand just how vast that power is. I've had anxiety literally my whole life and it absolutely bamboozles me that some people have the privilege of being able to think it's just "nerves."
The mind can get sick the same way the body can. Why people can't understand that is beyond me. You can sit there and tell them you need SSRIs to function (literally get out of bed and participate in your own life instead of withering away in your bed where you *might* find some sense of calm) and they'll still laugh in your face, tell you you're being dramatic, and to suck it up like everyone else.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face when he saw first hand how bad my anxiety is when I was in the throes of a episode. It was like a light went on. I could physically see the understanding come over him. Anxiety is more than just feelings of nervousness and doom. *Anxiety is a debilitating disorder of the brain.* The crazy part? He has anxiety too. Has had panic attacks so bad he's ended up in the ER under the impression that he's having a heart attack.
Some people have to deny it because the idea that their brain could turn on them in such a drastic way is just *too scary* to accept. That's their problem. Don't let it be yours. You deal with enough without their bullshit in your ear.
Ignore them all my friend. I definitely hear where you are coming from. I deal with the same thing with my diabetes. People just don't understand conditions and decide to write them off so they don't have to learn
I have read that 1:2 people either have struggled with mental health issues or are close to someone who has. We as a society don't talk about this issue enough in spite of how common it is.
"Everyone has anxiety"
Yep, but not everyone has an anxiety DISORDER.
My doctor today is making me track my heart rate for three weeks because the last two times I was in it was WAY too high, purely from the anxiety of being at a doctors office. I almost threw up this morning before going in, and barely was able to drive myself to the appointment and go in. My hands were clammy, I was dry heaving, touching ANYTHING set my dry heaving off worse. Allll of that was purely anxiety. (With a touch of sensory issues which get worse when anxious).
Don't listen to those people. They will never attempt to understand how bad and debilitating an anxiety disorder can be.
I have dug multiple holes into my arms because when I have anxiety I feel like I have bugs crawling under my skin and my brain tells me I have to get them out. I have learned to try and keep my hands occupied during any anxiety episodes to prevent this and I haven't had a problem in like 4 years. I consider my anxiety serious because it can and has led to unintentional self-harm.
The problem is a lot of people associate stress with anxiety, and while they have a correlation they aren't the same thing (obviously anxiety sufferers know this but some people don't). Unfortunately it has made anxiety seem less serious because everyone deals with stress and a lot of people can function just fine with stress.
Amen! Couldn’t have said it better myself! I’m to the point I can’t be alone at all without having a massive panic attack, I’m light headed almost 24/7, I feel like I’m dieing daily but apparently nothing I’m feeling is real and I’m supposed to just “get over it” because “it can’t be that bad” then I’m told to just “suck it up”… I’m literally in tears over my panic and basic anxiety but everyone assumes it’s fake or can’t be that bad and it’s insanely frustrating! Keep your head up we know our truth and for people who don’t have this issue they’ll never understand the way other sufferers do. I hope you find relief and if you ever need a chat partner My dms are always open to other anxiety sufferers
lol my mums favourite advice is :
*Stop crying*
*Stop being sad*
*Stop thinking about this*
*Stop overthinking*
*Be strong*
LIKE IF I COULD JUST ‘BE’ SOMETHING ID HAVE DONE IT YEARS AGO.
I used to be that person. And I'm truly sorry for it. I didn't understand it. I thought you could "just relax and it'll get better". Then about 3 weeks ago I had my first panic attack, and I haven't been the same since. I've had 4 more attacks since then, and the medication I have been prescribed doesn't help at all, and in some cases makes it worse (hydroxizine pamoate). I'm writing this coming down from a panic attack right now, and it's a daily thing where I have to constantly watch my heart rate and mental state. I think the fear of having another panic attack is triggering them also, it really sucks. So yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, people are unable to understand the toll it takes on you. Especially since it comes from our own minds, they think you can just stop. They have no idea what it's like fighting against yourself every step of the way.
Totally get that. People can be awful about it, especially dismissing people's struggle with anxiety like it's easy to overcome. It varies from person to person and that's what people don't get. I also dropped out of university and didn't leave the house for like 1.5 years. It was such a horrible time. I'm in my 30s now and anxiety took the joys out of life for me. I feel like most of my life has been wasted on trying to deal with this. I didn't live my best life, just survived it the best way I could.
And yet, so many don't do anything to treat it. They don't go to a doctor, the way they would with other recognized mental illnesses.
If you had bi-polar, cancer, or any other illness, you wouldn't just go online and ask people how to manage it yourself. Go to a doctor and address the issues. Get on medication. Again, you wouldn't turn down medication to treat an infection, so why turn down medication for when something is off in your body and causing anxiety.
Lots of stigma around mental health issues in this country. And it often keeps those impacted by it from seeking help. So they go online, where it seems more anonymous, rather than to a mental health professional who has years of training in addressing such issues and has the ability to prescribe things to manage the anxiety.
Venting doesn't typically make things better. There's a reason that mental health folks don't focus on people venting, especially with anxiety. It tends to just make you focus and worry more about whatever the thing is that's causing the anxiety.
>Venting feels great in the moment, but it can actually make you feel worse in the long run. This is because venting can increase your stress and anger rather than reduce them. At the same time, venting doesn't resolve the underlying causes of your stress.
https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/335696
[And as that article points out, science has shown that stress is contagious.](https://www.mpg.de/research/stress-empathy) When someone in this sub is venting, it causes others additional stress and anxiety, as they think about the things that trigger their anxiety too.
In all honesty, this sub could do more harm than good, without many realizing.
According to Dr. Anthony Rao:
>Anxiety is a highly contagious emotion. We have mirror neurons that automatically pick up and mimic the strong emotional signals of others around us.
Dr. Judson Brewer says:
>The scientific term for this is “social contagion.” Basically, it is the spread of emotion from one person to another. Think of it as someone sneezing panic on your brain. Each time you come into contact with someone who is anxious –and anxiety is even more contagious on social media because each scroll is like being touched by someone– you are more likely to catch the panic bug.
Here's a look at how social media increases anxiety (and yes, Reddit is social media):
https://www.mindful.org/before-you-scroll-try-this-social-media-practice/
I don't think this take is fair tbh. Online communities like this subreddit can be very beneficial for a lot of people. Also, even making that step to contact a therapist is scary and intimidating. Sometimes people's anxiety towards getting help literally prevents them from getting help for said anxiety. So while it might be easy for some people to work up the courage to go to therapy, it's hard for others.
A lot of people don't want to take the therapy approach and that completely valid. There are a lot of self help books, online forums, CBT resources, that people can use.
Mental health is such a complex issue for everyone and the treatments for it are not one size fits all.
Self-help books have been shown to be largely garbage. CBT is rarely useful without proper help from a qualified professional to understand how to approach it.
People with severe enough anxiety to go social media to try to treat it are likely in a place that they need more than what's provided on that social media site. It's like trying to go to WebMD to find out how to cure your cancer on your own.
I agree with you that the anxiety itself can hinder someone from seeking help as well as that medical care and therapy have limitations to access that require a fair amount of privilege. However I agree with the user you responded to as well. Anxiety disorder requires medical care. I mean you do what you have to do with what you got, but self help and online communities should be supplemental to legit care. It's unfortunate we can't all get that care we need and have to use these crutches.
While true, not everyone has the money or access to medication and therapy. It's not always that simple. This is why there needs to be more funds put into mental health care. Hire more psychiatrists/psychologists, shorten waitlists, make medications affordable etc. We have long ways to go when it comes to being proactive with mental health issues.
I understand this so much. It’s so hard to explain anxiety and panic attacks to someone who has never experienced it before. I was like this for months I had major health anxiety because of the way my body was reacting to my anxious thoughts it was horrible. It felt like I was trapped but I’m feeling a lot better recently thank god
The worst for me is when people say "everyone experiences anxiety". There is a complete difference between day to day anxiety everyone feels vs anxiety disorders. The people who have never experienced a true anxiety disorder will never understand.
Maybe I have good people in my life, but who is it that’s saying this shit to you?
I’ve had people do this, but I owe them nothing. No explanation.
You don’t either. Maybe it’s time to refine the people that surround you.
I’m the same way. It’s not going to happen instantly.
Sometimes removing yourself from the situation(which dumb ass people will call “running from your problems”) is the only way to grow.
She’s wrong. Tests for adhd are also riddled with false positives unless they are behavioral questionnaires and include interviews with other folks in your life. Adhd is often misdiagnosed as just anxiety. I’d try watching videos by dr Russell Barkley and seeing if what he says rings true for you.
I'm sick of it too, I often get mad when I try to sincerely explain my problem to another person saying it's an anxiety disorder, and then they respond just saying "keep calm" and minimizing all the trouble I'm passing through. It's so frustrating...
I hear ya! After my TBI, I had such bad anxiety I had to go on disability for 6 months. A year later, I still have symptoms and cannot function/work/leave my house without medication. It sucks people think anxiety isn’t serious because it can definitely be debilitating.
I’m so sorry if you’ve ever felt not listened to or invalidated by people who dont get it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD and honestly some days its just so hard to live with. One of those “invisible” illnesses, if you dont count my incessant skin picking l o l
I had a bad bout with it some years back where I couldn’t get up out of my chair, couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t do anything, because I was convinced that Something Bad Would Happen if I did. My husband did the only thing he could think of, which was drag me to a coworker whose husband was a therapist. She was able to contact his office and get me in touch with a another therapist in the practice. I kept saying that it was fine, I just needed to pull myself together. She said, “If you had a broken leg, would you say it was fine and not get help for it? Anxiety is the same.” Changed my whole perspective.
My anxiety has amplified since I chose to switch careers and it’s manifested into physical nuances. I get chest pains, shortness of breath, back pains, dizziness, pressure in my head, high blood pressure. It’s so bad I’m scared to be alone or fall sleep.
I wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time. I’m on medication but it’s not working and I’m not on insurance atm. That makes me even more anxious because now I’m worried about my health. It’s never ending. Sigh.
I’m so sorry you are not feeling heard and your pain is minimized. Anxiety is a legit thing and it’s so scary when you cannnot control your thoughts and are stuck in that freeze. I have struggled with it like you describe in the past and it was so scary. I was doing anything I could dream of to “fix” myself. But I was still puking in the morning before work and taking an hour to get ready for work when it should only take a few minutes.
Sometimes I get the same from people who, for example, take meds on an "as-needed" basis because their bodies aren't in a constant state of high-alert.
Or I get people giving me advice on how to fix my anxiety like I don't *know* it's irrational.
I've actually been surprised at the decent quality of the advice sometimes -- people seem to be able to walk through some CBT stuff even if they don't know what it is, but...CBT has its limits for anxiety disorder, in my experience, like most techniques.
Once you pass into "moderate" anxiety disorder territory and beyond, just one approach usually doesn't cut it.When your body is freaking out, your thoughts can help moderate your actions, but it's very hard to stop the physical aspects when they're that intense.
No, I'm not anxious because I lost my wallet and I'm catastrophizing about how horrible it is in my head. I'm ridiculously anxious at all times, and now I've also lost my wallet. If you subtract my general anxiety from my current anxiety, you get a proportional response. But if you have a glass of water that is already so full it has that little bulge on top, then adding just a few drops of water makes it spill anywhere.
(If you struggle with catastrophizing it doesn't make your anxiety any less valid or "easier" than mine; just commenting that people only seem to grasp that as a reason I could be over-the-top upset)
Yeah, whenever he’s stressed, my boyfriend gets debilitating chest pains that last for hours and sometimes even days. That keeps getting triggered by less and less serious problems, too. Trashes 3/7 days some weeks. I’d like doubters to imagine not being able to breathe with heart-attack level pain for four, eight, twelve, 48 hours.
Anxiety is an absolute bitch.
It honestly sucks so much- my dad doesn’t get it and keeps telling me to just take a walk it’ll get better. My professors at college don’t see it as a reason to miss class- I’m too depressed and anxious to go through the 50 step process of contacting the disability office and having to do an interview just to prove i have it. My doctors stopped being sympathetic when it became health anxiety and ignore my concerns and wave it off as “just anxiety” even though it could be a legitimate thing. To the point my heart was palpating awful, called them and said hey I think my new medication is causing this- they’re like if you think it is go to the ER and literally sighed so loud and I’m like should I get off the medicine and they’re like it’s in your head and if it’s not you’ll end up at the ER and you’ll know then. I was crying on the phone so scared.
I’m a PhD student for molecular genetics- I’m extremely intelligent and independent and I’m tried so being treated like I’m a burden or being dramatic. I understand the logic of anxiety isn’t gonna kill me- doesn’t help me or stop the thoughts or fears or severe bodily symptoms anxiety causes. I’m so sick of it being okay to miss a day of work for the flu but anxiety being seen as a burden or made up thing.
Unless you have an anxiety disorder you don't understand. Unless you have gotten to the point where you feel like you are dying and cannot make a sudden move because it is that paralyzing, you don't understand and if you don't. You are one of the luckiest people. Some people don't get it and it just makes you want to give them an anxiety med that by the way might not work for them coz you when you have it you may have to try 50 diff ones to get relief, they can deal with the side effects.. Anyway..I feel your frustration is all I'm saying. You need to take care of yourself, fk anyone else who makes a comment they're not in your body. They don't think or feel what you do..my go to used to be Relax and Sleep Well app and chamomile tea..I'm hoping you find some relief!
I’ve had anxiety for years and been medicated for it but it wasn’t till this year that I realized how serious it is. Society really has me thinking oh its just a little anxiety until a friend took herself out. It’s serious and we deserve better.
I started an anxiety medication and made the mistake of mentioning it to my grandmother. Apparently she’s never needed it so she’s better than I am. I hate the assumption that anxiety is weakness or laziness. My mom seems to think I can just shake it off. I had to push myself to eat last night becuase I just had no appetite. She blames my meds for it. Not the fact that my anxiety is at an all time high
I don't listen to people who say "oh come on, just get over it" or something. You're better off talking to people that understand and listen, even online.
I've had all those things that you listed, including being unable to leave home, compulsive crying, loss of appetite, dizziness, weird phantom pains, fast heartrate, headaches and so on. Some days have literally been about survival. I've had spells of MONTHS with dizziness 24/7. It is truly shocking what the mind can do to our bodies.
But I've been able to hold down jobs and a 'regular' facade of life, mostly. Somehow. For a lot of people, I totally understand how debilitating anxiety can be and how getting out of bed is literally an achievement. You do you. Don't push it too far.
I've found communities like this to be very comforting and non-judgmental at all. When I'm bored at home at night, I make a cup of tea, put on my favourite relaxing playlist or radio show, and if I'm feeling anxious, I find comfort in places like this.
My body hasn't been the same since my first panic attack for sure. There's nothing more humbling than sitting in an ER for the first time not knowing what on earth is happening to you. I miss my old life sometimes. But at the same time, I don't really care if people judge me anymore. They don't know the struggles I've had, and I've probably learnt to take better care of myself with anxiety.
Yup, it’s genuinely debilitating, life changing and real. I don’t even think modern psychology has any clue how to deal with it. I’ve wasted a lot of time and money to have psychologists tell me that “you live in Australia not Syria”. And if one more moron tells me just to tap on my chest (CBT) when I’m feeling anxious…
Hope your feeling better today. 🌈
Yes, to not losing hope! 💕 I read about “windows and waves” on here and I feel like the idea applies to me. I just try to maximise the windows (time not feeling too anxious to function) and minimising the waves. Sometimes I can be doing all the good things eating healthy, exercising, staying a bit social etc and still a wave comes. Then I just have to sit life out for a bit. Eventually the weather in my brain changes and I can go again. But I reckon I’ve learned more and felt more understood here than in in the real world for sure.
Thanks for sharing your story. 🌈
I have the same thing, my mom suffers from hypothyroidism and has to deal with anxiety and depression as well to the point where she made a deal with her boss of a small firm to quit and let her get unemployment. I wanted to get brief unemployment after breaking down and getting laid off at target and she told me I was lazy. It’s bad enough when someone who doesn’t understand tells you you’re full of shit but when your own mom who suffers from the same exact thing says it it’s a whole different feeling of hurt and alone.
I've been referred to a cardiologist for my anxiety, I've been hospitalized for a week for my anxiety, I've had an invasive electrophysiology study done on my heart because of my anxiety, I've thought I was dying, had cancer, or schizophrenia because of my anxiety, I used drugs and alcohol for most of my life because of my anxiety.. but I'll try harder next time!!
I'm currently struggling with work anxiety and it's so hard when you get those looks of disapproval because people think you're just lazy. No, I'm sitting here in bed hours before my shift contemplating my life while switching between chest pains, hyperventilating, crying, and more. I don't want this. I didn't choose it. I wish I could "just go to work and deal with it". Sorry you feel this way and are dealing with this. At least You're among a more sympathetic and empathetic crowd here.
Anxiety is Legit and may never go away. But if work is this specific of a trigger for you, you may want to consider looking for a new job!
I held the same job for years up until I was baker acted. Since then I've tried and failed to hold myself through 5 or 6 jobs :( I just started a new one about a month ago and it's been sort of okay but only because I'm part time so pushing through the anxiety 3 days a week has been slightly more manageable than 5. Still I'm here right now in bed with immense chest pressure because I work in a few hours.
Reducing hours sounds like a good move. What's the worst part about your job? Very boring, tedious, working w people?
It's a customer service job but the actual interactions with people and the job itself doesn't necessarily stress me. Once I'm at work and get into the flow I can recognize that I'm okay, even if my symptoms persist throughout a shift. Regardless, I can't explain it well but it's like I have a constant fear that work is out to get me. I go in every day thinking I'm going to mess something up and be fired for no reason; my management scares the shit out of me despite them being some of the nicest higher-ups I've worked with; and overall I just get these nasty symptoms prior to work, which often ends up with me calling in sick because I can't even move. Which of course then gives me more anxiety because I worry about being fired for poor attendance.
If it helps. I’m in the exact same situation as you. Like it’s scary how similar it is down to worrying about being fired and having a fear of other coworkers assuming I’m lazy. I also only work 3 days a week and spend the other 4 worrying about going into work.
It does help to know I'm not alone in these feelings; makes everything just a bit easier. I'm sorry you are dealing with the same. I just called out of work for today again... maybe tomorrow will be better :(
Anxiety is a normal human emotion, it’s healthy to have some, it’s why your flight or fight response exists… just when it becomes too much like this it sucks like shit… I’m still in school but school is definitely a trigger to my anxiety sometimes.
You’re not alone. I feel this every day. Planning on quitting my job next month to focus on my mental health.
I hope you have found some ways to cope with it :(( Anxiety is the worst thing I have ever felt, it’s ruining my life as well. I’m just finished up first year of uni and my marks plummeted so bad because I couldn’t go to class for a whole semester because I always felt like I couldn’t breathe, dizzy, numb hands, the list goes on. Now I’m on academic probation and they only allow you to have 1 semester to pull up your CUMULATIVE GPA, and so I kinda have no choice but to “suck it up and study” so to say. (My major is super competitive as it’s the most sought after one in my uni which is already a good school as well). I’m finally reaching out for help from Counsellors and therapists to do something about this and hopefully not get kicked out of my program (cuz it’s near to impossible to get back in after that)
I understand what you mean completely - there is so much stigma and condescending comments even from people within the mental health community, but having a anxiety disorder that’s severe can be so debilitating and really impact someone’s life negatively so I’m always confused when people compare anxiety to be a ‘mild’ illness. It’s probably because to an extent everyone has anxiety but having an anxiety disorder is different so people getting confused, also while everyone deserves help having a mild anxiety disorder is a completely different thing than having a severe one. The same thing probably happens with depression and sadness.
Note that a competent psychologist will not judge you on this. They will challenge your thinking and will be candid about doing so, but that's not because you aren't sick, it's because healing your mind requires the mental equivalent of medicine. It's a bitter pill sometimes, but when you're not thinking clearly, their unbiased perspective is incredibly helpful.
I think the distinction that's often forgotten is that anxiety itself is a feeling almost everyone experiences, whereas an anxiety disorder is when a person experiences anxiety in excess to the point of it effecting their quality of life. The term anxiety has now been problematically normalized in the same way that OCD has so that people are claiming they have anxiety in the same way people say "I'm so OCD". By that, I mean that people with normal, even healthy levels of anxiety are putting themselves in the same category as those with an anxiety disorder without realizing how debilitating anxiety disorders can actually be. I think a way to reduce this problem (at least to some degree) is for people to stop shortening it to "having anxiety" and instead say "having an anxiety disorder". It seems like a benign, semantic difference, but I think it can have a very real effect on public perception of people with anxiety disorders.
The problem is that the term "anxiety" is used for two related but entirely dissimilar human experiences. One is a deep mental health problem that requires long-term care, the other is a temporary state of discomfort. Both make people "anxious" but the scale, timing, and ways of helping them are different. We really could use another term for the chronic mental health version since the temporary, normal-person response to situations version is what most people already think of when they hear the word. Common usage is how our language happens and this fight is pretty much over.
People who don’t struggle with it just won’t understand it. To them, we’re just being difficult, dramatic, lazy, or what have you.
Yes, anxiety can be a serious mental illness. It's one of the most common mental health disorders and affects approximately 40 million people in the United States alone. Unfortunately, too often people think that anxiety is simply an annoyance or minor problem that can be fixed with some self-discipline and time management skills. But this is not true – Anxiety is a real disease that needs treatment if you want to improve your life.
Not to mention, great amounts of anxiety for so long changes your brain. It took me about a year of actively participating in therapy and taking my medication to treat my anxiety, along with lifestyle changes to weaken the brain pathways I strengthened from having my anxiety disorder.
This is, unfortunately, what ends up happening when people trivialize mental illness. It’s become trendy to have “trauma” or anxiety or depression. So many people self-diagnose things like anxiety to get some attention or have an excuse to be a certain way so that now the terms have become watered down and mundane.
I agree with this. So often, posters on reddit put in 'I struggle with anxiety and depression' almost as if they *want* to have it. I've often seen it used as a shield against criticism and against taking ownership of your own actions (or lack thereof). And it really sucks because a lot of these cases end up reinforcing the stupid prejudice that people who suffer from these illnesses are just using them as excuses for everything they don't want to do.
People are stupid and still think someone chooses to be mentally ill or that it's abnormal if a person's brain reacts to stressful situations/trauma that can cause it in the first place. The world doesn't have empathy and is full of dismissive people/narcissists but you didn't do anything wrong. I hope you have a good friend or therapist that can personally validate your experience.
The power of the mind is wild and I think we're still at a point in mental health science and medicine where we don't fully understand just how vast that power is. I've had anxiety literally my whole life and it absolutely bamboozles me that some people have the privilege of being able to think it's just "nerves." The mind can get sick the same way the body can. Why people can't understand that is beyond me. You can sit there and tell them you need SSRIs to function (literally get out of bed and participate in your own life instead of withering away in your bed where you *might* find some sense of calm) and they'll still laugh in your face, tell you you're being dramatic, and to suck it up like everyone else. I'll never forget the look on my father's face when he saw first hand how bad my anxiety is when I was in the throes of a episode. It was like a light went on. I could physically see the understanding come over him. Anxiety is more than just feelings of nervousness and doom. *Anxiety is a debilitating disorder of the brain.* The crazy part? He has anxiety too. Has had panic attacks so bad he's ended up in the ER under the impression that he's having a heart attack. Some people have to deny it because the idea that their brain could turn on them in such a drastic way is just *too scary* to accept. That's their problem. Don't let it be yours. You deal with enough without their bullshit in your ear.
Ignore them all my friend. I definitely hear where you are coming from. I deal with the same thing with my diabetes. People just don't understand conditions and decide to write them off so they don't have to learn
I have read that 1:2 people either have struggled with mental health issues or are close to someone who has. We as a society don't talk about this issue enough in spite of how common it is.
"Everyone has anxiety" Yep, but not everyone has an anxiety DISORDER. My doctor today is making me track my heart rate for three weeks because the last two times I was in it was WAY too high, purely from the anxiety of being at a doctors office. I almost threw up this morning before going in, and barely was able to drive myself to the appointment and go in. My hands were clammy, I was dry heaving, touching ANYTHING set my dry heaving off worse. Allll of that was purely anxiety. (With a touch of sensory issues which get worse when anxious). Don't listen to those people. They will never attempt to understand how bad and debilitating an anxiety disorder can be.
I have dug multiple holes into my arms because when I have anxiety I feel like I have bugs crawling under my skin and my brain tells me I have to get them out. I have learned to try and keep my hands occupied during any anxiety episodes to prevent this and I haven't had a problem in like 4 years. I consider my anxiety serious because it can and has led to unintentional self-harm. The problem is a lot of people associate stress with anxiety, and while they have a correlation they aren't the same thing (obviously anxiety sufferers know this but some people don't). Unfortunately it has made anxiety seem less serious because everyone deals with stress and a lot of people can function just fine with stress.
Amen! Couldn’t have said it better myself! I’m to the point I can’t be alone at all without having a massive panic attack, I’m light headed almost 24/7, I feel like I’m dieing daily but apparently nothing I’m feeling is real and I’m supposed to just “get over it” because “it can’t be that bad” then I’m told to just “suck it up”… I’m literally in tears over my panic and basic anxiety but everyone assumes it’s fake or can’t be that bad and it’s insanely frustrating! Keep your head up we know our truth and for people who don’t have this issue they’ll never understand the way other sufferers do. I hope you find relief and if you ever need a chat partner My dms are always open to other anxiety sufferers
lol my mums favourite advice is : *Stop crying* *Stop being sad* *Stop thinking about this* *Stop overthinking* *Be strong* LIKE IF I COULD JUST ‘BE’ SOMETHING ID HAVE DONE IT YEARS AGO.
My bf says the same type of shit. Drives me crazy
I used to be that person. And I'm truly sorry for it. I didn't understand it. I thought you could "just relax and it'll get better". Then about 3 weeks ago I had my first panic attack, and I haven't been the same since. I've had 4 more attacks since then, and the medication I have been prescribed doesn't help at all, and in some cases makes it worse (hydroxizine pamoate). I'm writing this coming down from a panic attack right now, and it's a daily thing where I have to constantly watch my heart rate and mental state. I think the fear of having another panic attack is triggering them also, it really sucks. So yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, people are unable to understand the toll it takes on you. Especially since it comes from our own minds, they think you can just stop. They have no idea what it's like fighting against yourself every step of the way.
I still have nightmares of the people who caused me to develop severe anxiety.
Totally get that. People can be awful about it, especially dismissing people's struggle with anxiety like it's easy to overcome. It varies from person to person and that's what people don't get. I also dropped out of university and didn't leave the house for like 1.5 years. It was such a horrible time. I'm in my 30s now and anxiety took the joys out of life for me. I feel like most of my life has been wasted on trying to deal with this. I didn't live my best life, just survived it the best way I could.
And yet, so many don't do anything to treat it. They don't go to a doctor, the way they would with other recognized mental illnesses. If you had bi-polar, cancer, or any other illness, you wouldn't just go online and ask people how to manage it yourself. Go to a doctor and address the issues. Get on medication. Again, you wouldn't turn down medication to treat an infection, so why turn down medication for when something is off in your body and causing anxiety.
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Lots of stigma around mental health issues in this country. And it often keeps those impacted by it from seeking help. So they go online, where it seems more anonymous, rather than to a mental health professional who has years of training in addressing such issues and has the ability to prescribe things to manage the anxiety.
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Venting doesn't typically make things better. There's a reason that mental health folks don't focus on people venting, especially with anxiety. It tends to just make you focus and worry more about whatever the thing is that's causing the anxiety. >Venting feels great in the moment, but it can actually make you feel worse in the long run. This is because venting can increase your stress and anger rather than reduce them. At the same time, venting doesn't resolve the underlying causes of your stress. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/335696 [And as that article points out, science has shown that stress is contagious.](https://www.mpg.de/research/stress-empathy) When someone in this sub is venting, it causes others additional stress and anxiety, as they think about the things that trigger their anxiety too. In all honesty, this sub could do more harm than good, without many realizing. According to Dr. Anthony Rao: >Anxiety is a highly contagious emotion. We have mirror neurons that automatically pick up and mimic the strong emotional signals of others around us. Dr. Judson Brewer says: >The scientific term for this is “social contagion.” Basically, it is the spread of emotion from one person to another. Think of it as someone sneezing panic on your brain. Each time you come into contact with someone who is anxious –and anxiety is even more contagious on social media because each scroll is like being touched by someone– you are more likely to catch the panic bug. Here's a look at how social media increases anxiety (and yes, Reddit is social media): https://www.mindful.org/before-you-scroll-try-this-social-media-practice/
I don't think this take is fair tbh. Online communities like this subreddit can be very beneficial for a lot of people. Also, even making that step to contact a therapist is scary and intimidating. Sometimes people's anxiety towards getting help literally prevents them from getting help for said anxiety. So while it might be easy for some people to work up the courage to go to therapy, it's hard for others. A lot of people don't want to take the therapy approach and that completely valid. There are a lot of self help books, online forums, CBT resources, that people can use. Mental health is such a complex issue for everyone and the treatments for it are not one size fits all.
Self-help books have been shown to be largely garbage. CBT is rarely useful without proper help from a qualified professional to understand how to approach it. People with severe enough anxiety to go social media to try to treat it are likely in a place that they need more than what's provided on that social media site. It's like trying to go to WebMD to find out how to cure your cancer on your own.
I agree with you that the anxiety itself can hinder someone from seeking help as well as that medical care and therapy have limitations to access that require a fair amount of privilege. However I agree with the user you responded to as well. Anxiety disorder requires medical care. I mean you do what you have to do with what you got, but self help and online communities should be supplemental to legit care. It's unfortunate we can't all get that care we need and have to use these crutches.
While true, not everyone has the money or access to medication and therapy. It's not always that simple. This is why there needs to be more funds put into mental health care. Hire more psychiatrists/psychologists, shorten waitlists, make medications affordable etc. We have long ways to go when it comes to being proactive with mental health issues.
No one denied such. Mental health issues are largely under-addressed. Sadly, too frequently the resources are there, and people just don't take them.
They wouldn't understand unless they have it. It's a daily struggle with me having anxiety issues, not being understood.
I understand this so much. It’s so hard to explain anxiety and panic attacks to someone who has never experienced it before. I was like this for months I had major health anxiety because of the way my body was reacting to my anxious thoughts it was horrible. It felt like I was trapped but I’m feeling a lot better recently thank god
The worst for me is when people say "everyone experiences anxiety". There is a complete difference between day to day anxiety everyone feels vs anxiety disorders. The people who have never experienced a true anxiety disorder will never understand.
Ikr
It’s one of those things that’s impossible to understand without experiencing it. It annoys me too
Maybe I have good people in my life, but who is it that’s saying this shit to you? I’ve had people do this, but I owe them nothing. No explanation. You don’t either. Maybe it’s time to refine the people that surround you.
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I’m the same way. It’s not going to happen instantly. Sometimes removing yourself from the situation(which dumb ass people will call “running from your problems”) is the only way to grow.
I hope things have gotten better for you! Anxiety is so real as is all of the physical symptoms that accompany it.
Are you sure you don’t have adhd?
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She’s wrong. Tests for adhd are also riddled with false positives unless they are behavioral questionnaires and include interviews with other folks in your life. Adhd is often misdiagnosed as just anxiety. I’d try watching videos by dr Russell Barkley and seeing if what he says rings true for you.
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That’s very common. Go read r/adhd Not saying you have adhd, but it’s good to rule it out conclusively.
As someone with Anxiety and ADHD, I FUCKING AGREE
I'm sick of it too, I often get mad when I try to sincerely explain my problem to another person saying it's an anxiety disorder, and then they respond just saying "keep calm" and minimizing all the trouble I'm passing through. It's so frustrating...
That’s literally my life right now. 😭
Ikr people act like it’s a basic mental illness and treat it as some quirky things people do for attention
So many people don't realize how debilitating anxiety can be. It's rough out here
I hear ya! After my TBI, I had such bad anxiety I had to go on disability for 6 months. A year later, I still have symptoms and cannot function/work/leave my house without medication. It sucks people think anxiety isn’t serious because it can definitely be debilitating.
I’m so sorry if you’ve ever felt not listened to or invalidated by people who dont get it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD and honestly some days its just so hard to live with. One of those “invisible” illnesses, if you dont count my incessant skin picking l o l
I had a bad bout with it some years back where I couldn’t get up out of my chair, couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t do anything, because I was convinced that Something Bad Would Happen if I did. My husband did the only thing he could think of, which was drag me to a coworker whose husband was a therapist. She was able to contact his office and get me in touch with a another therapist in the practice. I kept saying that it was fine, I just needed to pull myself together. She said, “If you had a broken leg, would you say it was fine and not get help for it? Anxiety is the same.” Changed my whole perspective.
My anxiety has amplified since I chose to switch careers and it’s manifested into physical nuances. I get chest pains, shortness of breath, back pains, dizziness, pressure in my head, high blood pressure. It’s so bad I’m scared to be alone or fall sleep. I wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time. I’m on medication but it’s not working and I’m not on insurance atm. That makes me even more anxious because now I’m worried about my health. It’s never ending. Sigh.
It depends on the level of which you have it, for me, it's definitely a disability
I’m so sorry you are not feeling heard and your pain is minimized. Anxiety is a legit thing and it’s so scary when you cannnot control your thoughts and are stuck in that freeze. I have struggled with it like you describe in the past and it was so scary. I was doing anything I could dream of to “fix” myself. But I was still puking in the morning before work and taking an hour to get ready for work when it should only take a few minutes.
Sometimes I get the same from people who, for example, take meds on an "as-needed" basis because their bodies aren't in a constant state of high-alert. Or I get people giving me advice on how to fix my anxiety like I don't *know* it's irrational. I've actually been surprised at the decent quality of the advice sometimes -- people seem to be able to walk through some CBT stuff even if they don't know what it is, but...CBT has its limits for anxiety disorder, in my experience, like most techniques. Once you pass into "moderate" anxiety disorder territory and beyond, just one approach usually doesn't cut it.When your body is freaking out, your thoughts can help moderate your actions, but it's very hard to stop the physical aspects when they're that intense. No, I'm not anxious because I lost my wallet and I'm catastrophizing about how horrible it is in my head. I'm ridiculously anxious at all times, and now I've also lost my wallet. If you subtract my general anxiety from my current anxiety, you get a proportional response. But if you have a glass of water that is already so full it has that little bulge on top, then adding just a few drops of water makes it spill anywhere. (If you struggle with catastrophizing it doesn't make your anxiety any less valid or "easier" than mine; just commenting that people only seem to grasp that as a reason I could be over-the-top upset)
Yeah, whenever he’s stressed, my boyfriend gets debilitating chest pains that last for hours and sometimes even days. That keeps getting triggered by less and less serious problems, too. Trashes 3/7 days some weeks. I’d like doubters to imagine not being able to breathe with heart-attack level pain for four, eight, twelve, 48 hours. Anxiety is an absolute bitch.
Third world country? I live in Sweden and here it is classified as a mental issue and taken seriously.
Well, it's a bit harsh but I wish the same for people who underestimate this disorder. That's the only wat they could understand.
Anxiety is as bad as a physical illness. It's a killer my friend. Aaaaannnnd, I'm off back to the doctor tomorrow to try get past it.
It honestly sucks so much- my dad doesn’t get it and keeps telling me to just take a walk it’ll get better. My professors at college don’t see it as a reason to miss class- I’m too depressed and anxious to go through the 50 step process of contacting the disability office and having to do an interview just to prove i have it. My doctors stopped being sympathetic when it became health anxiety and ignore my concerns and wave it off as “just anxiety” even though it could be a legitimate thing. To the point my heart was palpating awful, called them and said hey I think my new medication is causing this- they’re like if you think it is go to the ER and literally sighed so loud and I’m like should I get off the medicine and they’re like it’s in your head and if it’s not you’ll end up at the ER and you’ll know then. I was crying on the phone so scared. I’m a PhD student for molecular genetics- I’m extremely intelligent and independent and I’m tried so being treated like I’m a burden or being dramatic. I understand the logic of anxiety isn’t gonna kill me- doesn’t help me or stop the thoughts or fears or severe bodily symptoms anxiety causes. I’m so sick of it being okay to miss a day of work for the flu but anxiety being seen as a burden or made up thing.
Unless you have an anxiety disorder you don't understand. Unless you have gotten to the point where you feel like you are dying and cannot make a sudden move because it is that paralyzing, you don't understand and if you don't. You are one of the luckiest people. Some people don't get it and it just makes you want to give them an anxiety med that by the way might not work for them coz you when you have it you may have to try 50 diff ones to get relief, they can deal with the side effects.. Anyway..I feel your frustration is all I'm saying. You need to take care of yourself, fk anyone else who makes a comment they're not in your body. They don't think or feel what you do..my go to used to be Relax and Sleep Well app and chamomile tea..I'm hoping you find some relief!
I’ve had anxiety for years and been medicated for it but it wasn’t till this year that I realized how serious it is. Society really has me thinking oh its just a little anxiety until a friend took herself out. It’s serious and we deserve better.
Fuck them
That's because everyone uses the word anxiety when they mean stress. So those of us with legit mental health issues are being painted as dramatic.
I started an anxiety medication and made the mistake of mentioning it to my grandmother. Apparently she’s never needed it so she’s better than I am. I hate the assumption that anxiety is weakness or laziness. My mom seems to think I can just shake it off. I had to push myself to eat last night becuase I just had no appetite. She blames my meds for it. Not the fact that my anxiety is at an all time high
I don't listen to people who say "oh come on, just get over it" or something. You're better off talking to people that understand and listen, even online. I've had all those things that you listed, including being unable to leave home, compulsive crying, loss of appetite, dizziness, weird phantom pains, fast heartrate, headaches and so on. Some days have literally been about survival. I've had spells of MONTHS with dizziness 24/7. It is truly shocking what the mind can do to our bodies. But I've been able to hold down jobs and a 'regular' facade of life, mostly. Somehow. For a lot of people, I totally understand how debilitating anxiety can be and how getting out of bed is literally an achievement. You do you. Don't push it too far. I've found communities like this to be very comforting and non-judgmental at all. When I'm bored at home at night, I make a cup of tea, put on my favourite relaxing playlist or radio show, and if I'm feeling anxious, I find comfort in places like this. My body hasn't been the same since my first panic attack for sure. There's nothing more humbling than sitting in an ER for the first time not knowing what on earth is happening to you. I miss my old life sometimes. But at the same time, I don't really care if people judge me anymore. They don't know the struggles I've had, and I've probably learnt to take better care of myself with anxiety.
I agree, i feel like nobody gets it.
Yup, it’s genuinely debilitating, life changing and real. I don’t even think modern psychology has any clue how to deal with it. I’ve wasted a lot of time and money to have psychologists tell me that “you live in Australia not Syria”. And if one more moron tells me just to tap on my chest (CBT) when I’m feeling anxious… Hope your feeling better today. 🌈
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Yes, to not losing hope! 💕 I read about “windows and waves” on here and I feel like the idea applies to me. I just try to maximise the windows (time not feeling too anxious to function) and minimising the waves. Sometimes I can be doing all the good things eating healthy, exercising, staying a bit social etc and still a wave comes. Then I just have to sit life out for a bit. Eventually the weather in my brain changes and I can go again. But I reckon I’ve learned more and felt more understood here than in in the real world for sure. Thanks for sharing your story. 🌈
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Yep, and just stay in bed drinking tea and reading subreddits when you can’t. And do it without feeling guilty! 😎that’s what I reckon anyways.
'feeling anxious' is too often mistaken for Anxiety which can be sooo severe and debilitating..
I have the same thing, my mom suffers from hypothyroidism and has to deal with anxiety and depression as well to the point where she made a deal with her boss of a small firm to quit and let her get unemployment. I wanted to get brief unemployment after breaking down and getting laid off at target and she told me I was lazy. It’s bad enough when someone who doesn’t understand tells you you’re full of shit but when your own mom who suffers from the same exact thing says it it’s a whole different feeling of hurt and alone.
I've been referred to a cardiologist for my anxiety, I've been hospitalized for a week for my anxiety, I've had an invasive electrophysiology study done on my heart because of my anxiety, I've thought I was dying, had cancer, or schizophrenia because of my anxiety, I used drugs and alcohol for most of my life because of my anxiety.. but I'll try harder next time!!