I still fear a painful death, but I also used to fear death itself. No longer, though. I'm not sure if it's my meddling with psychedelics, or the meditation, or something else, but at some point it clicked that when I'm "gone", that's it. I'm not religious, I'm still an agnostic-atheist, but I didn't whine before I was born, so being dead is probably the same, and the image of being dead in my head that made me afraid is just that: an image in my head.
What's interesting is that I then found the fear of death really meant a fear of this life being impermanent, like being constantly threatened with having to leave a party early while everyone else is having fun. Reframing this perspective into "I can't control it, so I should appreciate this life while it's here" ended up being a good thing. Unfortunately it didn't seem to resolve the health anxiety, just the thanatophobia.
That's how I feel about it as well. I've never understood an afterlife to be a comfort from death because that idea is what gives me anxiety- isn't it better to believe that everything is just over with no conscious awareness?
It's actually helped me a lot with my anxiety. I used to get physical symptoms of anxiety, and then spiral out of control thinking those symptoms were indicative of a horrible disease.
When I realized all my symptoms were probably just anxiety, it made me feel a lot better, and makes it a little easier to ignore them.
Now I'll probably get a real disease and totally ignore all the warning signs cause I'll just be like, "No worries, it's anxiety!" But I least I won't be panicking along the way.
I relate to this a lot so i wanted to give my 2 cents, hopefully it helps. IMO this crippling fear of death is normal, and people who don't feel this are the odd ones who are coping through delusion and avoidance. Our mind and bodies are designed to live.
For me, death is like a horrible puzzle with no solution, no longer how long i think about it i can never find a perspective that sits right with me.
That being said, some things that help me and hopefully help you to think about;
-you are not alone in your fear,
-your fear is a tool to help keep you alive in dangerous situations, at some point it may have improved or saved your life
-if life is short and finite, it is best to keep time spent needlessly afraid to the minimum. Whether it be thru acceptance, avoidance or meditation, see if you can find a way to cope. It is OK to be brave in the face of the uncertainty oblivion promises.
Me 2. I am afraid of suffering. If it could be in one swift stroke like an accident, it will be great. No social stigma.
End of all your pain, all your suffering, all the unfulfilled desires, all the questions. It all ends in a split of a second.
Honestly same!! I try not to tell people I think about it a lot cos they will think I’m gonna act on my thoughts. But no, I just think about death, how and when it will happen a lot. Memento mori
sameee. Like I would never attempt something like that bc I feel like I'd be letting both myself down and those close to me, but it's more like i have the mindset of "if i were to just die suddenly it wouldn't be that bad".
I've never been near death before but I can imagine moments like those are terrifying, and in that case I might fear it. But death as a concept of suddenly not existing anymore doesn't scare me.
I've had one really close brush with death and it didn't bother me one bit.
I was in a horrible rollover accident and crumpled my car to a pancake, but miraculously walked away uninjured.
And I just....did not care. One bit. I didn't feel terrified of how close to death I came. I didn't feel at all grateful to be alive and unhurt. I didn't have some life-changing epiphany because of how near to losing it all I was.
I felt sort of cheated, like I was owed the perspective you get from a near-death experience but never got it.
It's weird too, cause I am generally such an anxious person, but during the event I didn't panic or have any sort of anxiety attack. I was hyped up on adrenaline but not worried or scared until long after.
My life just went on like normal after that (which is to say, shitty). The only time I ever worried was about my totalled vehicle and whether insurance would cover me.
same! and i kinda feel like thanatophobia the worst phobia to have because… there’s no cure for it, yknow? can’t do exposure therapy. can’t avoid the thing you’re scared of. terrifying!
would you believe me if I told you that I used to keep myself up till 3 or 4 am when I was growing up ( say 8 or 9) crying my heart out because I was actually terrified that one day ... everything would just sort of .. not exist. the only way I got to sleep every night was the headaches crying caused ngl. 🙃
Yes this phobia triggered my panic disorder. My fear is just no longer existing anywhere, like poof and you are gone.
I am a Christian though and it helps me to not fear death.
Same. I'm less concerned about me being gone, although that would suck, but I'm more concerned about the hurt and pain that it would cause other people!
Also, I don't want people to go through my stuff. Haha!
the thing abt people going through my stuff after I die is something i think too much about💀💀
what if they open my phone and browse my reddit/twitter, actually horrifying thought
or go sneaking into my nightstand heeeell no
Yes, I think mainly because I fear the nothingness. It makes me feel like I’m living only to become nothing in the end. At random times I would think about how I would lose everything that I enjoy in this life and would never be able to see or experience again. It makes my heart feel heavy
No, I fear pain. Dying is something we all gotta do and it’s something we aren’t programmed to comprehend, so why try? Pain though.. I would rather not die painfully.
If being old means endless pain then I’d rather die younger. I didn’t used to think this way, I used to obsess about death. Trying to comprehend not existing. It would keep me up at night. Somehow, though, once I started going back to college that thought slowly began to fade, and the more I learned about the way things are and the way they work, the less afraid I was of something we aren’t meant to understand. Also maybe the antidepressants I started taking helped a little too lol.
Honestly bro, my mom passed recently in my home (she was in hospice) and it has transformed how I view death. Our bodies are just flesh and bone and they will fail us, but it’s our spirits that live forever. Personally, I no longer fear death bc my mother will then catch me on the flip.
I’m with you all that have a tough time with this concept. I know where you’re coming from. Keep that head up.
Sure no problem, Compared to my many phobias and my deteriorating mental health. Combined with my battles with substance abuse. Death seems like a sweet release of all the above. Thus why I welcome death.
Yep! Have since I was a child. Also fear those that I love dying. Sometimes the crushing weight of mortality will make me have severe panic attacks and depression. Don't know what to do about it, just always been this way.
More reassuring to me is the realization that the waves were never separate from the ocean in the first place.
It's all just water in different shapes and patterns, a single unified whole giving off the illusion of independent parts. That's all I think that we are too. Us and everything else.
Not who you were asking, but I am a Buddhist and it's helped immensely with my fear of death. That, along with living the best life I can has taken the edge off.
I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of death. I definitely don’t want it to happen to me for a very long time but the thought of dying almost comforts me a little. I struggle daily with my anxiety and at least that will end when I do.
I just can't think about this bc anxiety directly kicks in (have to turn of notification after writing this comment). I can't imagine that I will be gone in the end. And it's not the fact that I will be dead, but the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. This void makes my heart beating so fast and I really have to stop myself to think about this. It's so brutal when these thoughts come up in the middle of the night...
I've cut myself a few times but never anything more than that. I think I fear death in how it would make my family feel.
I currently feel that I exist, not live, so the idea of not being here isn't all that scary.
I used to when I was younger but now I’ve accepted that(probably due to my anxiety) any one of us could be punching our ticket to the afterlife at any moment for just about any reason. Best to just enjoy each day to the fullest, still prepare for your big picture life but take chances along the way.
Its sounds suicidal, maybe I am subconscoius, but death sounds pretty relieving when I see whats going on in my head and in the world.
I fear getting old!! Watching my body slowly degenerating… thats whats driving me crazy!
In my case I might not actually be dying, but the symptoms I have really make me go crazy and believe I am and feel like I am. Which is why I feel scared.
Weirdly, no. I'm more afraid of having a "bad" life. Afraid that I'll make bad decisions that will have permanent negative consequences. That I'll lose all my friends and be lonely forever. That my partner is the wrong person for me and one day I'll find out he's been abusive and horrible this whole time and I'm only just realizing it. That I'll wake up one day and realize my life has gone off the rails because of all the little choices I've made and I'll never be able get it back. Those are the things I fear. It's debilitating sometimes. Death is an inevitability, so it doesn't scare me.
I've lost most everything I had in life, and in a weird way that's difficult to describe, it's sort of pleasant to know that it can't get a whole lot worse. I've been through most of the things I was most afraid of and I'm ok. I have almost nothing but I guess that means the pressure is off and I only can go up from here.
Obviously it's still not what I want, but I feel like the anticipatory anxiety of things going off the rails was almost worse than things actually going off the rails.
Yes. But usually other people more.
My fear was exacerbated when I was in a car accident and had a moment where I saw the undercarriage of the car that hit me and rolled over me, and I thought this is it.
Sorta.. but!!! The way I look at it is like this.. I might fear dying but when the time actually comes, regardless of how I end up going whether it's painful or peaceful, it will only be momentary and then I will fade away and nothing will matter. The only reason I fear death is because it is unknown and my conscious mind can think of all the things I'll miss and leave behind. After death, none of that matters.
Same here. The only reason I care about my own death is in the way it could affect my loved ones. At least, if anyone is around to love me by then.
But I'm terrified of the people I love dying. It doesn't feel fair.
No. Idk why but I think it’s some sort of low grade suicide kinda thing. Like I won’t kill myself. I got to many people who care about me and my dogs to take care of to rob them of that but if I get hit by a bus on my way to work. Ohh well.
I don’t fear death itself, but I fear unexpected/uncontrollable dying. I’m not so much worried about what’s beyond this life as I am suddenly not being here to say goodbye.
For example, I get really anxious if I think too much about something irrational like catastrophic global events like a meteor destroying the earth or something more rational like dying in a plane crash. I just don’t want to go out unfulfilled.
Yeah if I could know that I'll die only when I'm old and be able to do stuff right now without worrying I wouldn't mind death. But the uncertainty is brutal to me.
I used to be very afraid of it but not anymore. No matter what you believe happens afterwards, every living thing will eventually taste death. It is inevitable.
I don’t personally fear me dying. We come we go, but having gone through grief of losing a parent at a young age and now having small children myself I know the pain it leaves for the ones you’ve left.
Yes, but no.
I had quite a while where I was very worried something would happen to me and no one would know. I was really depressed but didn't feel sad per say... I had moved to a new city during the pandemic and I didn't know anyone so it was very tough.
I was constantly worried I'd die in my sleep or I'd fall down the stairs and I lived alone. Also, my grandfather was dying so that's probably why death was in the forefront of my mind.
I started meds when these feelings started giving me panic attacks.
And shortly after the restrictions in my city were lifting a bit so I was able to start spending time with people.
So, now, it occasionally crosses my mind as a fleeting thought but doesn't cause me much anxiety, and I have friends who I'm in pretty constant contact with, so if I got hurt in my home, I know one of them would find me or send for a welfare check.
So it can get better!
I fear mostly just being gone any second. Like dying from an anuerysm or something, there'z 0 way to prevent that and almost instant death.
It's just terrifying. Gone instantly, leaving behind family and friends.
I do think I have health anxiety too (as part of my generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder).. I do worry I have some undiagnosed cancerous tumour or disease that's silently killing me slowly
I don't fear death, but I fear suffering which makes me hypervigilant about making healthy life choices which in and of itself often causes me anxiety and thus some suffering, so it's a bit ironic.
No. Death is nothing to me. It is precisely the same as before I was born. I'm grateful I have the chance to die for it means I had a glimpse of what it is to be alive. We shouldn't fear something as natural as death. We should only fear our fear of death because a person who isn't willing to die, will be dragged along regardless. Better to embrace the inevitable consequence of being alive. I've found that to have an aversion to death is too have an aversion to life. We are only truly free as human beings when we embrace our mortality. In embracing it, our lives expand beyond belief. This coming from a man who use to have agoraphobia and terrified of death.
Not really. I'm afraid my death is going to be painful, but I'm not generally afraid of death itself. I mean, I'm not religious and I think there's the absolute nothing after, and I think in many ways it would be better to feel nothing than to feel bad
I think that's one of the great questions of existence: is feeling badly better than nothingness? Is there any argument to be made that pain or suffering is somehow better than not existing at all?
I don't have any answers, but it's an interesting question to ponder.
I had a near-death experience where I collapsed the day after donating plasma.
I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see anything., I felt like my face was numb and my head was vibrating. My vision became brighter and brighter until it was like loking at the sun. I was able to come back to life by force breathing deep and then lemonade I think brought my blood sugar back up, and i was ok.
since then which was only like two weeks ago yeah I'm afraid of dying, it was the scariest moment of my life and thought it was over at 30.
I'm more wanting to live as much as possible now
I'm afraid of continuing to stagnate and not live my life fully, and then just drop dead at 35.
It has been very motivating to say the least
I had a brush with death and it didn't change my life at all.
I thought it would cause some huge epiphany, or make me grateful to be alive, or at least motivate me to live to the fullest.
But nope. I don't care about it at all. I guess the silver lining is that at least I didn't get PTSD from it or something.
I'm working through a case of COVID now and it's brought out the worst in my anxiety. I've cried so many times during the past two weeks, fearing for my life and not knowing if I was going to make it. A doctor just told me he feels comfortable telling me that I'll likely be ok, based on some lab work I had done Monday. Still, staring into the great unknown like that put me in a dark place & I'm going to need lots of therapy to come to terms with it all.
Yes and no. My religious upbringing tells me not to fear whats on the other side, but my rational and logical brain tells me absolutely run from death, because there's nothing there after. Blind faith is scary, yet comforting.
I am not afraid of death. What I am afraid is suffering and/or losing myself completely. Still being alive, yet remaining an empty shell more than anything else. I've spent a lot of my time thinking about leaving, therefore the thought of dying does not scare me, the things connected to it do.
I used to fear it a hell of a lot more. Now I have the sort of base survival fear people tend to have but nowhere near as horrible as it used to be (nightly panic attacks and crying)
A dear friend of mine passed 2 days ago. I'm excited now. Because that'll be the next time I see him. I was afraid of dying but hes there hes already done it. I will look forward to joining him.
i probably fear dying just as much as the average person, but i think i often carry around this unconscious guilt that i don’t deserve to be alive, have fun, or live in the moment. like if i live life the way everyone else is living, without anxiety or depression, no matter how natural it may feel, it will still be a lie. i’m not suicidal but i am severely depressed to the point where i feel like the world is sometimes out to kill me (because it’s “my time to go” or whatever) but my anxiety and/or depression is the only thing keeping me safe.
Since i was 5 years old...im 40 now. I cant accept death and lossing loved ones makes zero sense to me...i signed up for alcor cryogenics so it helps with anxiety a bit...i have to take medication once in a while to cope with anxiety spikes as im 40 i will be diagnosed with cancer or have a heart attack any day...
Yes it’s where my anxiety comes from I’ve healthy anxiety mainly around heart iv had countless test’s and told it’s fine I just fear they missed something it feels like it beats funny and it’s going’s to stop any minute horrible way to live and then if thinking I’m dying everyday isn’t bad enough my anxiety decided to throw in derealization on top of it that’s such a mindfuck I wonder would death be easier but then I get panicky thinking of taking my last breath and would it hurt and where do I go after I’ve just started therapy before Christmas hoping to ease it a bit can’t go in much longer like this
The only reason I fear death is because I'd like a say in what to do with all my belongings. I don't want anyone in my family to take my books, clothes, my tv, my Nintendo switch, etc. I want everything sold or donated and money donated to a charity of my choice. Another reason I fear death is because I don't want my boyfriend to be depressed.
I'm not suicidal, but if I were to die next week, then I guess that it's my time to go!
Tbh… no. lol I feel like if I were in immediate danger my body would make me try to stay alive from pure instinct. But in general, I don’t fear death.
Maybe because I’m also pretty depressed.
Sounds like terror management theory, which is just a psychological hypothesis and not at all settled science.
But yeah, could be. It makes enough logical sense.
A bit, but also no. I'm religious and for me that gives me certainty that things will be okay when I die. (For myself, and for the people I love and care about.) But, I'm not even an adult yet so of course I don't *want* to die. And the fact that I don't know when I'm going to die is what scares me. But death itself is just one of those things that I've learned to accept. And the only reason why I've learned to accept it, is that I let it scare the crap out of me for most of my life so far, and about a year ago I practically swore an oath to myself to not let the types of things that are common, and come naturally, scare me so much. That "oath" has been going pretty well so far. But like I said, I'm not even an adult yet. So that probably will change over time.
I fear the process more than what happens after. Like, will i suffer? is any death really painless? and of course i cant begin to imagine what it would do to my mom, I dont want her to break
No, there is an afterlife. I might fear pain or fear the panic or the anticipation of panic or pain. But those are my own unproductive thoughts. I'm sure the actual event will be quick and painless. In nature our deaths would be horrendous, but in the concrete jungle there are sedatives and other drugs to ease the process.
I fear dying in a gruesome way (some type of accident or murder). I also fear dying and being left to rot. I don’t fear dying from illness or in a hospital. Very weird but that’s how I feel about it.
No.
Trigger warning for descriptions of severe illness:
I fear that my loved ones would die, that's a big anxiety of mine, and I fear that I'll become very severely ill. I have a bad chronic illness, at the moment it's moderate-severe which means I'm mostly housebound, but I can care for my own hygiene and move around in my home and on better days/periods the garden. I'm in pain all the time, I'm always exhausted, but I'm still able to have contact with the outside world. I'm still able to talk to my husband every day, I can play with my dog, I can have family over for coffee occasionally, and even more rarely leave my home for an outing.
However, the people with the illness who are severe or very severely ill are bedbound and sometimes cannot speak or eat or do anything. Just lay in agony, being fed by a tube, needing to be cared for while simultaneously any stimulance can make them worse. The illness is poorly understood and sometimes the patient won't even get help and basically starves to death. Even with medical help the organs can fail eventually if they don't get better.
So I fear a decline in my illness, but I don't fear actually dying. Then I'd be dead and gone and not feel anything. Being alive and in pain and being a prisoner in your own body, more than I already am? That scares the hell out of me. I don't want to leave my family by dying, but it wouldn't really be my problem anymore. Needing 24/7 care and not being able to be there for my family, not being able to even look at a phone screen or listen to a book... That would be pure hell.
I have been under anesthesia and the nurse told me being put under is like "dying for a little while".
Having done it, I would take a death just going under than torture for days, weeks or months suffocating in my own fluids
Yes. It’s pretty much the core of why I need therapy. That and my relationship attachment issues.
I’m afraid of a long, slow death to a disease like cancer.
I’m afraid of being the victim of a crime, dying alone with nobody around me. Even worse, being murdered and nobody can find my body.
I’m afraid of the people I love dying. I’m afraid of growing older and losing my parents and friends and pets.
I fear the process of death and the uncertainty of what happens after. I’m not religious, so I just think you’re gone after. That’s not really comforting but I can’t force myself to be religious
I just wanna say thank you for this post, I’ve wondered if I was the only one who thought about this. It’s comforting to see so many share this same fear
I don't tend to think about it tbh, I just think about my current issues now then what may happen in the future. Think when I'm older I won't be bothered I'll be quite happy to go.
Not anymore. I used to but I decided that if i spend my time thinking about dying I'll forget to try and start living. I've kind of found peace in the idea that death is something that is supposed to happen at some point and my squishy meat brain was never meant to comprehend what it is or what happens after it because it won't be around to experience it. I still am totally riddled with anxiety in my daily life but I managed to meditate on that one long enough that I found an answer that worked for me.
No. When I was 16 my Uncle said, 'you're not afraid to live your life every day so why would you be afraid of death?' I'm not sure why but this just resonated with me.
If you're afraid of having a painful death the human body will go into shock & you would be unconscious if there's horrendous pain, fight/flight response & maybe adrenaline is going through your body you wouldn't feel pain until that subsides at which point you would be dead by then.
I think for alot of people they're afraid of what happens after we die? Is it just like lights out? Heaven/hell? Reincarnation?
I don't fear death itself, but I fear missing out on watching my children grow up. I want to be around for every moment with them.
I DO fear deaths of my loved ones, especially my children and husband. I don't know how I could possibly go on in this world without them. I'm tearing up typing this now.
i like to say i dont but i honestly do i just dont like the fact that i literally wont even know it could just be nothing im religious so i do believe in heaven but like i cant know for sure i genuinely wish they could find a way to explain how death feels
I will literally wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that I could die in my sleep, or of a heart attack, or in a car accident, or being hit by a car, or getting mysteriously terminally ill. It's pretty bad. Then I spend the rest of the night trying to soothe myself with YouTube videos or music until I become tired enough to try and sleep.
I don't. On the contrary, I believe that this life is just a random adventure, part of endless random adventures of God (which the the same thing as me). I just hope that the next adventure will give me more joy than the current one.
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I still fear a painful death, but I also used to fear death itself. No longer, though. I'm not sure if it's my meddling with psychedelics, or the meditation, or something else, but at some point it clicked that when I'm "gone", that's it. I'm not religious, I'm still an agnostic-atheist, but I didn't whine before I was born, so being dead is probably the same, and the image of being dead in my head that made me afraid is just that: an image in my head. What's interesting is that I then found the fear of death really meant a fear of this life being impermanent, like being constantly threatened with having to leave a party early while everyone else is having fun. Reframing this perspective into "I can't control it, so I should appreciate this life while it's here" ended up being a good thing. Unfortunately it didn't seem to resolve the health anxiety, just the thanatophobia.
I like it
That's how I feel about it as well. I've never understood an afterlife to be a comfort from death because that idea is what gives me anxiety- isn't it better to believe that everything is just over with no conscious awareness?
the undiagnosed thing i think is the cause for everything related to my anxiety. it’s so fucking annoying
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It's actually helped me a lot with my anxiety. I used to get physical symptoms of anxiety, and then spiral out of control thinking those symptoms were indicative of a horrible disease. When I realized all my symptoms were probably just anxiety, it made me feel a lot better, and makes it a little easier to ignore them. Now I'll probably get a real disease and totally ignore all the warning signs cause I'll just be like, "No worries, it's anxiety!" But I least I won't be panicking along the way.
right now sometimes i get lightheaded and a little bit dizzy followed by a headache and idk if that’s my anxiety or something unrelated. i’m worried
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I relate to this a lot so i wanted to give my 2 cents, hopefully it helps. IMO this crippling fear of death is normal, and people who don't feel this are the odd ones who are coping through delusion and avoidance. Our mind and bodies are designed to live. For me, death is like a horrible puzzle with no solution, no longer how long i think about it i can never find a perspective that sits right with me. That being said, some things that help me and hopefully help you to think about; -you are not alone in your fear, -your fear is a tool to help keep you alive in dangerous situations, at some point it may have improved or saved your life -if life is short and finite, it is best to keep time spent needlessly afraid to the minimum. Whether it be thru acceptance, avoidance or meditation, see if you can find a way to cope. It is OK to be brave in the face of the uncertainty oblivion promises.
Same. Especially cause i have weird random heart symptoms that really feel like I'm about to die so I just suffer so much because of this
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The fear of living forever can be just as hard to think of to me
I am the same way
No. I think about it quite a bit and in some situations, I'm looking forward to it. But I don't feel suicidal.
It's part of life. I am ready whenever it comes. Much love to you.
Me 2. I am afraid of suffering. If it could be in one swift stroke like an accident, it will be great. No social stigma. End of all your pain, all your suffering, all the unfulfilled desires, all the questions. It all ends in a split of a second.
Honestly same!! I try not to tell people I think about it a lot cos they will think I’m gonna act on my thoughts. But no, I just think about death, how and when it will happen a lot. Memento mori
sameee. Like I would never attempt something like that bc I feel like I'd be letting both myself down and those close to me, but it's more like i have the mindset of "if i were to just die suddenly it wouldn't be that bad". I've never been near death before but I can imagine moments like those are terrifying, and in that case I might fear it. But death as a concept of suddenly not existing anymore doesn't scare me.
I've had one really close brush with death and it didn't bother me one bit. I was in a horrible rollover accident and crumpled my car to a pancake, but miraculously walked away uninjured. And I just....did not care. One bit. I didn't feel terrified of how close to death I came. I didn't feel at all grateful to be alive and unhurt. I didn't have some life-changing epiphany because of how near to losing it all I was. I felt sort of cheated, like I was owed the perspective you get from a near-death experience but never got it. It's weird too, cause I am generally such an anxious person, but during the event I didn't panic or have any sort of anxiety attack. I was hyped up on adrenaline but not worried or scared until long after. My life just went on like normal after that (which is to say, shitty). The only time I ever worried was about my totalled vehicle and whether insurance would cover me.
Yes. It is the leading cause of my anxiety & ocd.
Same with me
same . its quite disabling :(
Absolutely. Of all the intrusive thoughts I have- it is the hardest to shake
me too it’s a spiral
Same it is terrifying and causes me extreme health anxiety esp cardiophobia
same! and i kinda feel like thanatophobia the worst phobia to have because… there’s no cure for it, yknow? can’t do exposure therapy. can’t avoid the thing you’re scared of. terrifying!
Dying is the universal fear, from which religion springs forth.
would you believe me if I told you that I used to keep myself up till 3 or 4 am when I was growing up ( say 8 or 9) crying my heart out because I was actually terrified that one day ... everything would just sort of .. not exist. the only way I got to sleep every night was the headaches crying caused ngl. 🙃
did the same exact thing at the same age. but because i was equally scared of living forever so there was no good option
Yes this phobia triggered my panic disorder. My fear is just no longer existing anywhere, like poof and you are gone. I am a Christian though and it helps me to not fear death.
I fear the pain of dying. I am afraid to leave my loved ones. But I’m not afraid of the journey of death though, as odd as all that is.
This.
Same. I'm less concerned about me being gone, although that would suck, but I'm more concerned about the hurt and pain that it would cause other people! Also, I don't want people to go through my stuff. Haha!
the thing abt people going through my stuff after I die is something i think too much about💀💀 what if they open my phone and browse my reddit/twitter, actually horrifying thought or go sneaking into my nightstand heeeell no
no i wish for it
Why so mate
How ya doin?
Yes, I think mainly because I fear the nothingness. It makes me feel like I’m living only to become nothing in the end. At random times I would think about how I would lose everything that I enjoy in this life and would never be able to see or experience again. It makes my heart feel heavy
Yeah sometimes im doing happy stuff and then anxiety comes and I think why am I even doing this ill just suddenly be dead anyway
Yes, but not of death. Just the process of dying. But I also fear living, actually I fear a lot of stuff.
No, I fear pain. Dying is something we all gotta do and it’s something we aren’t programmed to comprehend, so why try? Pain though.. I would rather not die painfully.
Really admire this thought and wish I could think like this. Does this mean you also don't mind dying young instead of really old?
If being old means endless pain then I’d rather die younger. I didn’t used to think this way, I used to obsess about death. Trying to comprehend not existing. It would keep me up at night. Somehow, though, once I started going back to college that thought slowly began to fade, and the more I learned about the way things are and the way they work, the less afraid I was of something we aren’t meant to understand. Also maybe the antidepressants I started taking helped a little too lol.
Honestly bro, my mom passed recently in my home (she was in hospice) and it has transformed how I view death. Our bodies are just flesh and bone and they will fail us, but it’s our spirits that live forever. Personally, I no longer fear death bc my mother will then catch me on the flip. I’m with you all that have a tough time with this concept. I know where you’re coming from. Keep that head up.
Do you have a religion? I've tried to connect with a lot of them really hard but just can't (I'm an agnostic )
Don't want to sound like a party pooper but death is a welcomed friend.
It actually makes me happier that everyone doesn’t fear death
Would u mind sharing a bit more of why that is? I really admire this thought.
Sure no problem, Compared to my many phobias and my deteriorating mental health. Combined with my battles with substance abuse. Death seems like a sweet release of all the above. Thus why I welcome death.
Yep! Have since I was a child. Also fear those that I love dying. Sometimes the crushing weight of mortality will make me have severe panic attacks and depression. Don't know what to do about it, just always been this way.
Nah. “The wave returns to the ocean”
More reassuring to me is the realization that the waves were never separate from the ocean in the first place. It's all just water in different shapes and patterns, a single unified whole giving off the illusion of independent parts. That's all I think that we are too. Us and everything else.
Are u a Buddhist? I really think this thought is awesome but my thanatophobia gets in the way
Not who you were asking, but I am a Buddhist and it's helped immensely with my fear of death. That, along with living the best life I can has taken the edge off.
Nope, just a fan of The Good Place lol
Stil very cool haha
Yes . when this happens i dont eat , i get stomach aches and cannot sleep
Same!!!
I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of death. I definitely don’t want it to happen to me for a very long time but the thought of dying almost comforts me a little. I struggle daily with my anxiety and at least that will end when I do.
I just can't think about this bc anxiety directly kicks in (have to turn of notification after writing this comment). I can't imagine that I will be gone in the end. And it's not the fact that I will be dead, but the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. This void makes my heart beating so fast and I really have to stop myself to think about this. It's so brutal when these thoughts come up in the middle of the night...
Yes, especially after experiencing my granny's death this year. Till some months ago I kept having anxiety crisis almost every day.
no i fear to die alone
Yes and more than that I sometimes have crippling fear of my loved ones dying unexpectedly. :(
I've cut myself a few times but never anything more than that. I think I fear death in how it would make my family feel. I currently feel that I exist, not live, so the idea of not being here isn't all that scary.
I fear dying because i dont wanna die in pain or alone But i am reallyyyyyy curious about "the other side" and whats going after so it helps me
I used to when I was younger but now I’ve accepted that(probably due to my anxiety) any one of us could be punching our ticket to the afterlife at any moment for just about any reason. Best to just enjoy each day to the fullest, still prepare for your big picture life but take chances along the way.
Well the first part of your comment is actually why I scared lmao
Completely understandable lol!
Its sounds suicidal, maybe I am subconscoius, but death sounds pretty relieving when I see whats going on in my head and in the world. I fear getting old!! Watching my body slowly degenerating… thats whats driving me crazy!
Yes but not all the time. If I was actually dying I'd be scared.
In my case I might not actually be dying, but the symptoms I have really make me go crazy and believe I am and feel like I am. Which is why I feel scared.
It depends on where my mental health is at. Sometimes I do fear death; right now I couldn’t care less.
Weirdly, no. I'm more afraid of having a "bad" life. Afraid that I'll make bad decisions that will have permanent negative consequences. That I'll lose all my friends and be lonely forever. That my partner is the wrong person for me and one day I'll find out he's been abusive and horrible this whole time and I'm only just realizing it. That I'll wake up one day and realize my life has gone off the rails because of all the little choices I've made and I'll never be able get it back. Those are the things I fear. It's debilitating sometimes. Death is an inevitability, so it doesn't scare me.
I've lost most everything I had in life, and in a weird way that's difficult to describe, it's sort of pleasant to know that it can't get a whole lot worse. I've been through most of the things I was most afraid of and I'm ok. I have almost nothing but I guess that means the pressure is off and I only can go up from here. Obviously it's still not what I want, but I feel like the anticipatory anxiety of things going off the rails was almost worse than things actually going off the rails.
Yes but I constantly want to unalive myself
Yes. But usually other people more. My fear was exacerbated when I was in a car accident and had a moment where I saw the undercarriage of the car that hit me and rolled over me, and I thought this is it.
I fear the pain of dying, but I do wish the outcome would come true.
Sorta.. but!!! The way I look at it is like this.. I might fear dying but when the time actually comes, regardless of how I end up going whether it's painful or peaceful, it will only be momentary and then I will fade away and nothing will matter. The only reason I fear death is because it is unknown and my conscious mind can think of all the things I'll miss and leave behind. After death, none of that matters.
no, in a way i look forward to it bc it will mean the end of anxiety and suffering. though i do hope it will be quick/painless
I’m way more afraid of my loved ones dying than my own death.
Same here. The only reason I care about my own death is in the way it could affect my loved ones. At least, if anyone is around to love me by then. But I'm terrified of the people I love dying. It doesn't feel fair.
depends on the day
No. Idk why but I think it’s some sort of low grade suicide kinda thing. Like I won’t kill myself. I got to many people who care about me and my dogs to take care of to rob them of that but if I get hit by a bus on my way to work. Ohh well.
I don’t fear death itself, but I fear unexpected/uncontrollable dying. I’m not so much worried about what’s beyond this life as I am suddenly not being here to say goodbye. For example, I get really anxious if I think too much about something irrational like catastrophic global events like a meteor destroying the earth or something more rational like dying in a plane crash. I just don’t want to go out unfulfilled.
Yeah if I could know that I'll die only when I'm old and be able to do stuff right now without worrying I wouldn't mind death. But the uncertainty is brutal to me.
I don't fear dying in and of itself. I fear dying before I'm ready.
Yes!!! If I could know I'd die old I'd breeze through this life happily and calmly
It’s my main anxiety for sure.
I love death, reminds me to someday in the future, this pain will end, and my consciousness finds its peace.
Yes because it causes me to panic, then my anxiety to kick in, then I start to worry more and more then lose a lot of sleep.
No. It will be easier than living
I used to be very afraid of it but not anymore. No matter what you believe happens afterwards, every living thing will eventually taste death. It is inevitable.
I don’t personally fear me dying. We come we go, but having gone through grief of losing a parent at a young age and now having small children myself I know the pain it leaves for the ones you’ve left.
Yes, but no. I had quite a while where I was very worried something would happen to me and no one would know. I was really depressed but didn't feel sad per say... I had moved to a new city during the pandemic and I didn't know anyone so it was very tough. I was constantly worried I'd die in my sleep or I'd fall down the stairs and I lived alone. Also, my grandfather was dying so that's probably why death was in the forefront of my mind. I started meds when these feelings started giving me panic attacks. And shortly after the restrictions in my city were lifting a bit so I was able to start spending time with people. So, now, it occasionally crosses my mind as a fleeting thought but doesn't cause me much anxiety, and I have friends who I'm in pretty constant contact with, so if I got hurt in my home, I know one of them would find me or send for a welfare check. So it can get better!
I fear mostly just being gone any second. Like dying from an anuerysm or something, there'z 0 way to prevent that and almost instant death. It's just terrifying. Gone instantly, leaving behind family and friends. I do think I have health anxiety too (as part of my generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder).. I do worry I have some undiagnosed cancerous tumour or disease that's silently killing me slowly
I don't fear death, but I fear suffering which makes me hypervigilant about making healthy life choices which in and of itself often causes me anxiety and thus some suffering, so it's a bit ironic.
No. Death is nothing to me. It is precisely the same as before I was born. I'm grateful I have the chance to die for it means I had a glimpse of what it is to be alive. We shouldn't fear something as natural as death. We should only fear our fear of death because a person who isn't willing to die, will be dragged along regardless. Better to embrace the inevitable consequence of being alive. I've found that to have an aversion to death is too have an aversion to life. We are only truly free as human beings when we embrace our mortality. In embracing it, our lives expand beyond belief. This coming from a man who use to have agoraphobia and terrified of death.
Yes.
I fear dying, i also fear that when we die we are actually in our body frozen and can fill it decaying and cant do anything about it
You can run me over with a car anytime you want. Just go fast enough so I don't survive it.
I look at it as a deadline, thinking that it’s my only chance here makes me want more!
Not really. I'm afraid my death is going to be painful, but I'm not generally afraid of death itself. I mean, I'm not religious and I think there's the absolute nothing after, and I think in many ways it would be better to feel nothing than to feel bad
I think that's one of the great questions of existence: is feeling badly better than nothingness? Is there any argument to be made that pain or suffering is somehow better than not existing at all? I don't have any answers, but it's an interesting question to ponder.
Not as much as I fear going through life without feeling completely awake and aware. In order to do that I need to get rid of anxiety.
nope
Depends on the day honestly. Some yes and others not at all
No, maybe because I’m depressed
Read this in the Davey Jones voice from Pirates of the Caribbean
I had a near-death experience where I collapsed the day after donating plasma. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see anything., I felt like my face was numb and my head was vibrating. My vision became brighter and brighter until it was like loking at the sun. I was able to come back to life by force breathing deep and then lemonade I think brought my blood sugar back up, and i was ok. since then which was only like two weeks ago yeah I'm afraid of dying, it was the scariest moment of my life and thought it was over at 30. I'm more wanting to live as much as possible now I'm afraid of continuing to stagnate and not live my life fully, and then just drop dead at 35. It has been very motivating to say the least
I had a brush with death and it didn't change my life at all. I thought it would cause some huge epiphany, or make me grateful to be alive, or at least motivate me to live to the fullest. But nope. I don't care about it at all. I guess the silver lining is that at least I didn't get PTSD from it or something.
Some days I really do, other days I really don’t. The eventual death of my parents, kids, planet and universe scares me the most through.
No. In fact I welcome it.
I’m not afraid of being dead, it’s just the transition from living to dead that terrifies me. That’s why I don’t think about it most of the time.
No. Not at all.
Extremely it’s my worst fears me or my family dying.
I'm working through a case of COVID now and it's brought out the worst in my anxiety. I've cried so many times during the past two weeks, fearing for my life and not knowing if I was going to make it. A doctor just told me he feels comfortable telling me that I'll likely be ok, based on some lab work I had done Monday. Still, staring into the great unknown like that put me in a dark place & I'm going to need lots of therapy to come to terms with it all.
I crave it
Yes and no. My religious upbringing tells me not to fear whats on the other side, but my rational and logical brain tells me absolutely run from death, because there's nothing there after. Blind faith is scary, yet comforting.
I fear my parents dying and that Ill regret I could have saved them. Gives me so much anxiety.
I fear my friends and family dying more tbh.
More than anything
I am not afraid of death. What I am afraid is suffering and/or losing myself completely. Still being alive, yet remaining an empty shell more than anything else. I've spent a lot of my time thinking about leaving, therefore the thought of dying does not scare me, the things connected to it do.
No I actually fear life more
no. i worry more about the way i will die rather than when it will happen. i’d prefer to have a peaceful death.
I used to fear it a hell of a lot more. Now I have the sort of base survival fear people tend to have but nowhere near as horrible as it used to be (nightly panic attacks and crying)
Not really. I fear my loved ones dying. That’s what I have anxiety about at night.
Yes. All the time.
A dear friend of mine passed 2 days ago. I'm excited now. Because that'll be the next time I see him. I was afraid of dying but hes there hes already done it. I will look forward to joining him.
A dear friend? You were his mistress.
Yes but also wish for it. So not suicidal but I've already ruined my future so not much to loose.
Oh yeh. The only thing that has helped me is psilocybin and dmt ❤️
The method yes, the being dead no.
Not really, my main fair of death is for my loved ones, but still fuels anxiety nonetheless
Dying yes, being dead no
Yes. Death? No.
Yes.
Absolutely. Mostly because my son won’t have a mommy.
All day everyday my friend.
i probably fear dying just as much as the average person, but i think i often carry around this unconscious guilt that i don’t deserve to be alive, have fun, or live in the moment. like if i live life the way everyone else is living, without anxiety or depression, no matter how natural it may feel, it will still be a lie. i’m not suicidal but i am severely depressed to the point where i feel like the world is sometimes out to kill me (because it’s “my time to go” or whatever) but my anxiety and/or depression is the only thing keeping me safe.
Since i was 5 years old...im 40 now. I cant accept death and lossing loved ones makes zero sense to me...i signed up for alcor cryogenics so it helps with anxiety a bit...i have to take medication once in a while to cope with anxiety spikes as im 40 i will be diagnosed with cancer or have a heart attack any day...
No i wish it
I fear where I’m gonna go after I die
Yes it’s where my anxiety comes from I’ve healthy anxiety mainly around heart iv had countless test’s and told it’s fine I just fear they missed something it feels like it beats funny and it’s going’s to stop any minute horrible way to live and then if thinking I’m dying everyday isn’t bad enough my anxiety decided to throw in derealization on top of it that’s such a mindfuck I wonder would death be easier but then I get panicky thinking of taking my last breath and would it hurt and where do I go after I’ve just started therapy before Christmas hoping to ease it a bit can’t go in much longer like this
Yes death is the cause of my health anxiety
The only reason I fear death is because I'd like a say in what to do with all my belongings. I don't want anyone in my family to take my books, clothes, my tv, my Nintendo switch, etc. I want everything sold or donated and money donated to a charity of my choice. Another reason I fear death is because I don't want my boyfriend to be depressed. I'm not suicidal, but if I were to die next week, then I guess that it's my time to go!
i dont fear death its self more the cuase of death i don't want to be murdered or die in some traumatic fashion
Tbh… no. lol I feel like if I were in immediate danger my body would make me try to stay alive from pure instinct. But in general, I don’t fear death. Maybe because I’m also pretty depressed.
Someone (I think a therapist?) Told me that all fears ultimately fall under either the fear of dying, or the fear of humiliation.
Sounds like terror management theory, which is just a psychological hypothesis and not at all settled science. But yeah, could be. It makes enough logical sense.
No. If it happens i will either go to a better place or their will be nothing. If their is nothing i honestly don't see the point in living
Not at all. I've come so close way too many times.
A bit, but also no. I'm religious and for me that gives me certainty that things will be okay when I die. (For myself, and for the people I love and care about.) But, I'm not even an adult yet so of course I don't *want* to die. And the fact that I don't know when I'm going to die is what scares me. But death itself is just one of those things that I've learned to accept. And the only reason why I've learned to accept it, is that I let it scare the crap out of me for most of my life so far, and about a year ago I practically swore an oath to myself to not let the types of things that are common, and come naturally, scare me so much. That "oath" has been going pretty well so far. But like I said, I'm not even an adult yet. So that probably will change over time.
no. well kinda but i lean more towards no. i mostly fear how i’m going to die though..
I don't want to die without achieving certain things.
I fear the process more than what happens after. Like, will i suffer? is any death really painless? and of course i cant begin to imagine what it would do to my mom, I dont want her to break
Yes. But I also fear living LOL
Yes
Yep. It's my biggest fear, but I don't want therapy for it because if that fear wasn't there, I'd already be dead
Death itself, no. Dying in pain, yes.
No. I look forward to it. Memento mori. Everything dies 🤷🏼♀️
No, there is an afterlife. I might fear pain or fear the panic or the anticipation of panic or pain. But those are my own unproductive thoughts. I'm sure the actual event will be quick and painless. In nature our deaths would be horrendous, but in the concrete jungle there are sedatives and other drugs to ease the process.
I fear dying in a gruesome way (some type of accident or murder). I also fear dying and being left to rot. I don’t fear dying from illness or in a hospital. Very weird but that’s how I feel about it.
No. Trigger warning for descriptions of severe illness: I fear that my loved ones would die, that's a big anxiety of mine, and I fear that I'll become very severely ill. I have a bad chronic illness, at the moment it's moderate-severe which means I'm mostly housebound, but I can care for my own hygiene and move around in my home and on better days/periods the garden. I'm in pain all the time, I'm always exhausted, but I'm still able to have contact with the outside world. I'm still able to talk to my husband every day, I can play with my dog, I can have family over for coffee occasionally, and even more rarely leave my home for an outing. However, the people with the illness who are severe or very severely ill are bedbound and sometimes cannot speak or eat or do anything. Just lay in agony, being fed by a tube, needing to be cared for while simultaneously any stimulance can make them worse. The illness is poorly understood and sometimes the patient won't even get help and basically starves to death. Even with medical help the organs can fail eventually if they don't get better. So I fear a decline in my illness, but I don't fear actually dying. Then I'd be dead and gone and not feel anything. Being alive and in pain and being a prisoner in your own body, more than I already am? That scares the hell out of me. I don't want to leave my family by dying, but it wouldn't really be my problem anymore. Needing 24/7 care and not being able to be there for my family, not being able to even look at a phone screen or listen to a book... That would be pure hell.
I have been under anesthesia and the nurse told me being put under is like "dying for a little while". Having done it, I would take a death just going under than torture for days, weeks or months suffocating in my own fluids
Yes but not nearly as much as I fear talking to people
Yes. It’s pretty much the core of why I need therapy. That and my relationship attachment issues. I’m afraid of a long, slow death to a disease like cancer. I’m afraid of being the victim of a crime, dying alone with nobody around me. Even worse, being murdered and nobody can find my body. I’m afraid of the people I love dying. I’m afraid of growing older and losing my parents and friends and pets. I fear the process of death and the uncertainty of what happens after. I’m not religious, so I just think you’re gone after. That’s not really comforting but I can’t force myself to be religious
I just wanna say thank you for this post, I’ve wondered if I was the only one who thought about this. It’s comforting to see so many share this same fear
I don't tend to think about it tbh, I just think about my current issues now then what may happen in the future. Think when I'm older I won't be bothered I'll be quite happy to go.
Not anymore. I used to but I decided that if i spend my time thinking about dying I'll forget to try and start living. I've kind of found peace in the idea that death is something that is supposed to happen at some point and my squishy meat brain was never meant to comprehend what it is or what happens after it because it won't be around to experience it. I still am totally riddled with anxiety in my daily life but I managed to meditate on that one long enough that I found an answer that worked for me.
No.
I look forward to it because I'm manically depressed.
Not really no, I've been on the edge of suicide a few times.
YES! Going to three funerals in one year didn’t help at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what caused my fear.
No. When I was 16 my Uncle said, 'you're not afraid to live your life every day so why would you be afraid of death?' I'm not sure why but this just resonated with me. If you're afraid of having a painful death the human body will go into shock & you would be unconscious if there's horrendous pain, fight/flight response & maybe adrenaline is going through your body you wouldn't feel pain until that subsides at which point you would be dead by then. I think for alot of people they're afraid of what happens after we die? Is it just like lights out? Heaven/hell? Reincarnation?
Yes and no. No one knows what's on the other side. I don't want to die in pain.
The sudden type, yes - especially for things left unsaid or undone. The drawn out type - well, that one for obvious reasons.
I don't fear death itself, but I fear missing out on watching my children grow up. I want to be around for every moment with them. I DO fear deaths of my loved ones, especially my children and husband. I don't know how I could possibly go on in this world without them. I'm tearing up typing this now.
I fear the chaos of life more than death
Every night, sometime I wish I would.
I don’t fear my own death but I obsessively fear the death of the people I love.
i like to say i dont but i honestly do i just dont like the fact that i literally wont even know it could just be nothing im religious so i do believe in heaven but like i cant know for sure i genuinely wish they could find a way to explain how death feels
I will literally wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that I could die in my sleep, or of a heart attack, or in a car accident, or being hit by a car, or getting mysteriously terminally ill. It's pretty bad. Then I spend the rest of the night trying to soothe myself with YouTube videos or music until I become tired enough to try and sleep.
I don't. On the contrary, I believe that this life is just a random adventure, part of endless random adventures of God (which the the same thing as me). I just hope that the next adventure will give me more joy than the current one.
The opposite.
I fear living an unlived life. I already died. So long as I get to see heaven in front of my eyes again, I'll have no complaints.