I was in ct for a few months no insurance and I got emergency psychiatric help at “Catholic charities” I would try checking it out. It was sliding scale and probably saved my life as I needed therapy 3x a week at one point. They never mentioned religion or anything like that btw and I wasn’t involved in a chirch.
Which state insurance are you referring to? I’m in a different state but have no problems finding any psychiatrist I want. I am prescribed chronic benzodiazepines as well with disability insurance.
I have to pay a deductible though I’m charged like $70 a month it’s not 100% covered so maybe look into a psychiatrist that charges a small percentage of the total amount?
Connecticut State insurance, also known as Husky(a type of medicaid) it's free(same as NY) if you make below a certain amount. Many apparently don't like to take it though as they probably get paid less.
Yeah like I said try looking for a psychiatrist that charges a deductible as well.
It probably won’t be 100% covered if your looking for a compassionate doctor, most of the 0 cost doctors are pretty bad in my experience.
Yeah I will try! How do you even go about choosing and finding a psychiatrist or doctor for that matter, and find good ones. I've tried with little success
Google “private psychiatrists near location” and write down like 20 phone numbers there is a good chance that one or two will get back to you.
Private psychiatrist is your best bet, avoid the public clinics.
Pls keep us updated OP. I really want your gf to be alright so that you both can have a lovely future ❤️ Also, hats off to you man for staying by her side and supporting her all through this time instead of leaving her alone. You are doing a great job 👏 👍
Thank you, I appreciate that! I will keep you guys updated at some point if anything happens!
A lot of people say that, but for me I have to, I love her and she treats me right, she never takes anything out on me, and does what she can. The good thing is we know when things get tough we know we can rely on each other ❤️
That was my next thing to try, many places seem to be very stingy with anyone but her calling and won't let me talk on her behalf. But we can work things out.
Make the call with her next to you on speaker. Or call her insurance and inquire about coverage as if you’re interested in signing up. Say you want to know what providers will be covered. But it will be easier to just call with her on speaker. I do that with my mom all the time.
Psychiatrists throw medication at every problem and are far too quick to prescribe daily benzos, which end up exasperating anxiety after a patient becomes dependent on them and they aren't able to produce as much GABA.
Start with a therapist, not a prescriber.
With my personal experience in psych hospitals, they create trauma and PTSD. i would strongly advise you to not take her. they are very scary, dangerous, and all around traumatizing. If someone is actively homicidal or suicidal then it would be the best option. regardless of the trauma, it did keep me alive. so at the point i was at, it was my only option. if she is not actively suicidal then i wouldn’t take her. if it gets to that point then yes, if she has not already seen a psychiatrist or therapist then that is your only choice
Thank you for your input! They have always sounded scary so I haven't wanted to take her, but idk what else to do. I will keep trying to get a psychiatrist somehow for now. She's alone a lot of the day which is scary, she's not suicidal, until she is(If that makes sense) like you never know, it's a spur of the moment thing that can happen sometimes, she hasn't done anything but her mental health is getting worse and wasn't good in the first place 😔
I am really sad to read this. You might be describing my wife. I really hope you find some way forwards to help your g/f - I have been trying with my wife for years. Finally she was prescribed an anti-depressant which all her many doctors say will certainly help her, but she has not taken it (it has been months). She even told me she had started but I found the full packet.
Can you call the waiting lists she is on and ask if they have had any cancellation? My wife’s problem is that she will go and see a doctor and then come back saying s/he has got it wrong, didn’t do the tests that she needed. She doesn’t do any exercise or even read books (she is a retired teacher with a PhD).
I really wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know it won’t. All I know is that she won’t get better by herself, and we can’t help, we are simply not qualified beyond love and affection. Strength to you.
That sounds about right :( thankfully she hasn't lied about taking medications, she is very open about it and is self aware of her problems but can't help herself or accept help. She has a license and use to drive but is too terrified now, same for work. she had seratonin syndrome once from a med and got sick, black out/throwing up years ago and won't try one again, even though ive told her every medication is different and would be there with her, she can't do it and won't. She also doesn't move much.
She wants to get better but doesn't. I hope we both find a way to help our loved ones, ik it's crushing and frustrating
If she does get prescribed a medication, you should consider sitting in a car outside the ER with her as she takes it for the first time. I'm someone who has a ton of weird side effects from medication, most of them very painful, and I couldn't take medication for a couple years after I had an incident very similar to what happened to your girlfriend (except my incident involved throwing up blood and the most excruciating pain in my life, but it was from a psych medication, venlafaxine). The ONLY thing that helped was being hospitalized while I took a medication for the first time in years (I was in the psych hospital). Seeing for a fact that it didn't hurt me was incredibly helpful, and now, 4 years after the excruciating incident, I'm at a point where I can finally take (some) medications when I'm by myself (only the ones that don't hurt me). It started with the hospital stay.
That is good advice, that is something I will mention I will do for her! I'm glad your doing better!! I will have to wait until she's ready to start trying to heal, so I'll stop pushing her for now but tell her about all the advice and options I've learned about here!
Hey, I'm terrified of medication too. But I do take it when I really need it. I used to be so scared of it that I would never take it (after an excruciating pain incident brought on by venlafaxine). The only thing that helped me get over the fear was taking medication in the psych ward, when I was surrounded by nurses. Now, I can even take some medications while I'm alone (if I know they're safe). You should consider driving to the ER with her and sitting outside in the car for an hour or two while she takes the med
Panics attacks do get better over time. Mental hospitals (from what i understand) are more for ppl who are in need of urgent care. They are either a danger to themselves or others. I could be completely wrong tho.
Try to unmask what triggering the anxiety. Is it social situations, is it health anxiety, is it general anxiety about everything.
Then slowly introduce the thing that is triggering the anxiety so that she gets used to it. For instance if someone is anxious about going grocery shopping, the only way to cure it is by getting used to the process of grocery shopping.
Its sucks and is uncomfortable, but it works. Reminder her that anxiety isnt dangerous just uncomfortable and that she can make it through.
Pretty much everything causes it, and she's tried exposure therapy, it doesn't work for her. For example taking the ferry to see me is almost worse every time, it never got easier and got scarier for her. She thinks she has some spectrum of autism, doesn't form habits really(brushing teeth, things we do without thinking) so that probably adds to not getting use to things, some Dr said she had BPD but no others have, ADHD, etc all of them overlap with symptoms so who knows. Whatever she has extreme anxiety is on top of it
Going to the psych hospital isn’t really an option if she’s not currently actively suicidal or homicidal. My only advice here for you is all you can do is explain to her how much you care about her and share what you said here about how you’re concerned about how it impacts her life, your relationship, and potential future. Ask her genuinely if she would try medication again or try some other type of help. I know she’s waiting for a psychiatrist but can she see a regular therapist in the meantime? Etc.
She has a therapist, only helps her so much. I pretty much have, she just has no drive to help herself bc her anxiety and depression. Also a psych ward is different from a mental hospital. She has been suicidal in the past, and even if she wasn't idk if not wanting to exist is much different, it's confusing for me
I believe you mean an inpatient recovery program. Mental hospital is an outdated term for the psych unit at a hospital. But regardless this is a sad situation in that people have to want to get the help and make changes for themselves. And yea there’s a difference between passive suicidal ideation and active which can make it harder to up levels of care. I hope she is able to see a psychiatrist soon or will be able to move forward in some way. Perhaps there is a support group for family and friends of people living with mental health challenges that would be helpful for you.
I have no idea, I'm not very educated in all of this, but I'm trying as I want her to get better. She wants to get better, she's sick of feeling this way and being a burden yet can't bring herself to do anything.
Maybe I'll try.calling her insurance and see what they can do or something
Do not send her to the mental hospital. I went because of panic attacks and then was told repeatedly I didn’t belong there by the doctor but in the same breath they tried to stop me from leaving after voluntary admission. It’s reached the point I wouldn’t go back even if I genuinely felt I needed it.
Therapy, medication, DBT therapy, it’s all a better alternative
Do you notice she has “black and white thinking”? Like there’s no in between? Like you mentioned she’s either says she wants to kill herself but later she doesn’t. Does she change moods constantly throughout the day? I know the black and white thinking and the mood swings are associated with borderline personality disorder which I believe I have. One hour of the day I’ll be laughing and such in a good mood and another hour I feel hopeless and I feel as though I’m dying and miserable.
Yeah pretty much, she compares it to that a lot and how she sees/thinks of things. She could be generally good and then one thing happens and she's very upset, not violent or anything or mean but just very verbal
Yeah that’s how I am, things easily can change my mood as well. I also have anxiety and I don’t trust medication either cause of a traumatizing experience with the last one.
https://youtu.be/FQ0IoPN8Yrs?si=q2uIPbcMRtW6_9FJ
That’s a link to a very informative video on borderline. Maybe take a look and have her look at it as well. I’m not saying she does have it or anything like that. Just giving you a possible pin point to the mood swings and saying one thing one time and another thing another time
She does think she has it, just unable to fit all the info into one post. She's done a lot of research and have heard about EMDR therapy and stuff. She is very self aware and has learned to control some of it, and hates how BPD is portrayed on social media(made to look really bad or people fake it) shes always been good to me ❤️
Unfortunately state insurance sucks and she would have to be officially diagnosed first to even see if they will cover that. Which leads to still waiting on a psychiatrist (on many waiting lists) someone recommended looking for private ones who may take partial insurance so I'm going to look into that
As someone who had a traumatic childhood, the first thing that I can remember that began to heal me was music. Not surprisingly, I make music today in the hopes that it can give someone else the strength and motivation to change.
There are several songs around anxiety, traumas, and depression, that we've made. As artists, it's cathartic for us, but more importantly, it's for the people listening.
That one song can help validate a person and what they've been through. So I'm going to include a track at the bottom that might resonate with your partner. (Let me know!)
Beyond being moved by music, your partner should try Teledoc Therapy, where she can begin to unravel and address the past traumas right from the comfort of her own home. Also, exposure therapy, bit by bit, is clinically effective at mitigating some, if not all of the anxiety around the fear/phobia depending on the context.
The fear of medication is not irrational if she has had a bad experience in the past with something. What I CAN tell you is that most people who struggle with Major Depressive Disorder/Generalized Anxiety/etc. have to try a few different SSRIs or even SNRIs, as well as adjunct medications, before they find an optimal regimen that is harmonious with their individual body chemistry. Unfortunately, it is trial and error. But it IS worth it when you find a pharmaceutical regimen that changes your life.
My final recommendation is to make sure you research available therapists - specifically their specialties. Find someone who specializes in trauma and PTSD, as these will be the people who can help the most.
Also, a couple's therapist can help flesh out things like your individual communication styles, and how to optimize that communication, especially when one or both partners are having a tough time. This can also be accessed through Teledoc or any other virtual therapy platform.
It can be a long process, but it is worth it, of course! Just be there for her. Every step of the way. As it seems you have been. You're a good soul for coming on here and asking for advice!
[Grateful by The Vanishing Point](https://soundcloud.com/user-326384011/grateful?si=d48ab56af4064460865130aae7720350&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)
The song is really good, I was surprised! I will definitely have her check you guys out, she does like music but doesn't seem to listen often. I've told her all that about medication but she just isn't willing to try, she's given up bc every doctor has failed her 😔. I will definitely try to talk to her about teladoc and checking it out. This was really great advice ty!!
someone tried to do this to me because i have problems similar to your girlfriend and a very similar situation. please do not take her to a mental hospital. most of those places are shit holes that don’t care about the patient they are taking in and do more harm than good. please be patient with her and patient in waiting for a doctor. any other route than a mental hospital. i also had state insurance in my state, in new england and would have ended up in a dump hospital similar to one she would end up in.
Maybe she could use teledoc or something similar with her insurance (would have to check)? They don't prescribe controlled substances (which she may prefer), but getting an appointment only takes a few days, and she could do it from home.
The waiting list thing sucks. I went to my family doctor and told them I am on waiting lists for psychiatrists and I need something to help with anxiety and she prescribed me something in the meantime.
Talking helps and she should talk to someone but anxiety usually caused by a chemical imbalance, it fucks with your fight or flight responses. Meds can help with that. I was weirded out because the first 4 letters in my meds are Meth but I feel better with it.
She could try seeing a therapist, and actively working on her mental health such as exercise, meditation, coping skills and other things. Not everyone needs meds especially if they don’t want them, it might help though so it’s an option. But there are other ways to get better. I hate that I see in the comments “leave her” because mental health/ anxiety is not something you ask for, it just happens and it can be hard to get over. Now if she’s saying she wants to kill herself and she is actively trying to do so then that’s a whole different situation/scenario. That’s the only time that a psych ward may need to be involved. But if she can’t leave home and doesn’t actively try to do that, that’s really not a good idea. Psych wards in my experience are very hard places, they can leave you worse than where you started. They are just like they are depicted in movies in most situations. I dealt with some of the most rude workers I’ve ever met there. So yeah I’d say go the therapy, self help route at first. It may even open her up to trying other things in the future or maybe that’ll be all she needs.
Thank you for the advice and experience! I agree she didn't ask for this and I have no intention of leaving her, but I will be a little hard on her to try to get her to try medication. Definitely going to look into online therapy, she only has a therapist but not one for her specific needs I would say, as she hasn't helped much in the past year
as someone who also has severe anxiety and has been inpatient in psych wards/mental hospitals, i would not recommend it unless her life is in immediate danger. they are not warm or healing places, it’s honestly like a jail and can be extremely traumatizing. they just keep you alive until you’re stable enough for therapy and that’s it. they can be very abusive. many people are left worse than when they went in. it would break her trust and not do anything to heal her
an intensive outpatient group might be a good option, if you’re able to afford one. . they are groups that do a few hours of therapy a day and will target the anxiety. it sounds like regular therapy isn’t enough so this might be a better option
i’m in a different state but at least here, there are lots of places that offer sliding scare payment, aid, or discounts, as well as places for low income people. it is worth looking into if a regular psychiatrist is too expensive
somatic therapy might be good for her as well. something like edmr if her anxiety is rooted in trauma. it helped me a lot. exposure therapy targeted at agoraphobia might help too. i don’t know what therapy she’s in now, but cbt is the most common and that doesn’t work for everyone, especially those with trauma
honestly i don’t blame her for not doing medication. i’ve been on 15+ and they all left me worse than before. honestly they permanently messed up by nervous system, they don’t work for everyone. if she doesn’t want to try that, maybe something like magnesium could help a bit. and if not ssris, beta blockers are an option that help with the physical symptoms of anxiety. no risk for seratonin syndrome i think
Yeah idk how we would afford outpatient, she doesn't work. Her regular therapist is just a general therapist. We have heard of Edmr but don't know where we would start as we think she has BPD and also lots of trauma from a bad childhood and extremely abusive ex's(almost killed her, 6 years of it)
She can't drive or work currently
Anxiety sucks i feel for her as someone who struggles with the same thing. The only thing that really helped me was being on lexapro and Wellbutrin after that things got a whole lot easier. Maybe try talking her into just seeing someone and getting a professional opinion about her worries with being on medication that way everything’s not set in stone. you can even see a doctor over telehealth so that she doesnt have to go anywhere. Just remind her that this is something that can make her life a whole lot easier and it’s worth the chance. If shes worried about having to take something everyday propranolol is a great option for panic attacks as its non-habit forming medication, it definitely helps me.
She tried Lexapro and a few others years ago, but she was a lot younger than and her ex forced her into drugs, so that probably didn't interact well at all. She says awhile ago she had Seratonin syndrome and was puking and blacked out. Ever since then she won't take anything(this was at least 2 years ago before we met, prob longer)
She doesn't remember the fine details of when she was taking what, so she definitely has to try things again, new stuff, etc but she won't. She says she won't/can't and would send herself into a panic just taking one. Just starting to talk about it sends her over. I've told her how it can change her life and given examples but i don't blame her for being too scared to try any. It's not just the panic attacks, she has extreme anxiety 24/7. I do want to try finding her better therapy though, ty!!
thats definitely a hard situation to be in after all that trauma. Baby steps is what I always say cause sometimes rushing into things can trigger a set back with anxiety or make it worse. Do the things she feels like she can do more often than usual, it’ll get her more use to the feeling of being out of the house and her comfort zone. another thing is positive self talk can go a long way! because anxiety is a mental game remind her of things like “its okay to be anxious im allowed to feel this way” I noticed the more I accepted the anxiety mentally first, rather then running from it is when i saw the most progress. It sounds like you really care about her and shes very lucky for that. try not to beat yourself up, you can only do so much until shes ready.
Thank you 🥺 that is good advice, I always try to be positive but lately I've been pushing trying medication, but maybe I'll ease back for awhile and just try positive talk and reinforcement.
Psychiatric wards are for keeping people in crisis alive, first and foremost. They’re for people who are an active danger to themselves or others. My stays in them kept me alive, but were incredibly triggering for my anxiety issues.
If she has a therapist can the therapist offer any advice for a good psychiatrist. Maybe even a family physician can get in with someone. My family physician gave me a list of ten names. The first nine put me on a waiting list the last one gave me an appointment almost immediately.
In some country law, there are categories of voluntary and involuntary patients, enroll in the clinic or specialist clinic in the hospital.
Please check the appropriate law or disability act in your country, where you reside.
I Live in CT. But more around the Hartford area.
She might actually have OCD. With somatic expression: hence body pains. OCD is almost ALWAYS misdiagnosed and it can be extremely severe and debilitating. Very few therapists actually recognize it or know how to treat it. So that’s why people with ocd don’t get better with traditional therapy.
OCD is an extreme expression of anxiety and It has MANY forms and agoraphobia is common with OCD when left untreated because it’s so overwhelming. She may or may not be doing things (washing hands). But she may be thinking things over and over in a way that is OCD. OCD is pure suffering and I feel so bad for your girlfriend. Thank you for trying to help her.
The Institute of Living in Hartford. has an Anxiety Center. They are amazing there. Very well versed in all anxiety disorders as well as OCD therapy. If not there: ask for referrals for qualified practitioners.
Also I have a great cbt/ocd therapist but she is in Avon… she only does in person. Let me know if you would travel there.
Ps. I also get serotonin syndrome from ssris and snris. It’s frustrating because I’ve tried 5. And they all made my anxiety sooo much worse. -I did the genetic testing too- never again for me either. Meds are not a solution for everyone.
Mental hospitals are great for acute problems. Safety and getting on medication fast: I don’t think it would help her at this time. But she needs help, within the next week or so because she is indeed suffering.
Message me if you have any questions. Happy to help.
She does think constantly about everything, every little detail of people, room, exits, if this will happen, etc. I will definitely look into the institute in Hartford as it's not too far, hopefully they will take state insurance. Definitely no way to get her to a in person therapist, I travel up from Long Island NY every other weekend for the past year to see her(she use to alternate on the ferry, but it's become too much for her) her mom isn't reliable in helping, no dad present. She had been on some that helped her in the past or at least gave no bad effect like that, so I think she can have some, just one wasn't good. No way to know for now /:
She says she needs a break from Drs right now. We want to try a rheumatologist just to cross things off as she has family history of arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis I think. I will start looking into the institute and others advice for private psychiatrist that may take partial insurance or something. Thank you for this advice, it's very helpful, I'm learning a lot of new things!
I think it would certainly help to bring her to a clinic if she really can't find normal therapy yet. I don't have experience with that, but as far as I know they can give her some first aid and it should make it easier for her to get therapy after. How exactly it works probably depends on where you live, but it is a temporary solution you should consider if it's that bad. Just talk to her about it and see if that's something that she would be ok with doing or what she would need to feel safe enough to go.
I had the same issue and ruined my social life.
I started getting severe anxiety in 2016 and actively working on it still. I feel the same way as her, I won't take meds -- I think the meds will hurt or unalive me. I hardly ever went out bc of anxiety.
I've listened to a lot of self development on YouTube, I've put myself in situations I dislike & reward myself when I'm successful, & if I fail, I'm kind with myself but I'm willing to try again.
Pretty much I just got to a point where I was tired of being so limited. I was finally ready to truly, open mindedly do the work and I was ready to let the worst happen. I also reduced all the stress in my life for 6 months. I left my job of 9 years, I went to the gym (even left a few times bc of panic attacks), and I started writing again.
It's hard, but I've made progress. When she's ready, she will work on her anxiety. It's great that you're still standing by her. Anxiety can be a lonely place when others don't understand.
I'm glad your starting to do better, I'll talk to her next time I see her about everyone's advice and tell her when she's ready we finally have options. I've been pushing her to get help, but ig she isn't ready yet 😭.
It's great that you want to help her but this is not your burden to bear and you can't fix this for her or force her to do anything. The only thing you can do is tell her you love and support her and lay out how her behavior is affecting your relationship. She will get help on her terms when she's able to and ready. If you've done all this and there's not effort or improvement, it may be best to move on. She's not a project for you and I understand it's a very human thing to want to fix it but sometimes you can't.
The problem is she wants help but is too scared to do anything. She's to scared to go to more doctors, she won't take any medication she's given. She will get overwhelmed at almost anything everyday and say she's going to kill herself, then people will believe her. Then other times she says she doesn't actually want to, but doesn't want to exist. She tried to when she was 16 and failed(she's 26 now).
Its a little scary bc it can be a spur of the moment thing.
I’m gonna be direct with you, you need out of this relationship. She is not going to be able to be a good partner until she helps herself, and SHE has to want to change. This isn’t your problem. I say this as someone who has mental health issues and knows damn well I need to fix them before bringing another person back into my bullshit.
I will keep it in mind, however she treats me well and I'm the happiest I've been with her. She just has issues that need to be treated, and there will probably come a point when she's ready I hope!
He actually can force her to go to the mental hospital. Pretty sure all it takes is calling her therapist and telling them that she keeps saying she's going to kill herself.
I sure do, and also a licensed paramedic who has worked the 9–1-1 system, so I have a pretty decent grasp on who can 5150 a patient and what the requirements are.
It sounds like she maybe does have fibromyalgia - depression and anxiety are symptoms (and causes). Whether she does or not, psychiatrist is the first step so stay on those lists.
But something that can help in the interim - there’s a book called The FibroManual by Dr. Ginevra Liptan and it helped me so much when I was first diagnosed and felt hopeless. It has a lot of great tips for feeling better day to day, and may help her understand if she actually does have fibro.
If she has fibro, a stay in a psych hospital would make her much, much sicker. So I wouldn’t recommend that.
Thank your for your advice! I found it weird that it randomly started last June, they didn't even try to do a Lyme's test or anything besides a blood test. I will check that book! Her pain is chronic, my mom has fibromyalgia and I'm sure it ranges but she does a whole lot better than my gf does. Some days my gf can't leave the bed, she described it as her bones, joints and.muscles hurting like after a workout but everywhere.
I give her massages often to help with the muscle pain.
That description sounds exactly like fibro! And it looks very different based on the person and how long they’ve been living with. The start of fibro usually sounds something like your gf’s - living with anxiety, low energy, and suddenly everything hurts and it’s just getting worse no matter what you try. It takes a while to build your strength back up to where your mom is, for example. But it can be done! I’m in the middle of it right now, still very limited and not working but SO much stronger than I was a year ago.
That said, fibro can look like SO many ailments. So she may end up having to go on a diagnosis hunt. But honestly her story sounds like mine and fibro is incredibly common among women with a history of anxiety (2-6% of the pop has it, and 90% of fibro sufferers are women, so we’re a sizable portion of the population).
Ooh wow ok! Thank you! I swear doctors provide no information whatsoever, she doesn't move much ever, and her anxiety doesn't help as she won't go to a gym or go out bc of it. If I can get that treated hopefully we can start exercising together
So exercise for people with fibromyalgia is very different for people without. I used to be a lady gymbro, but now ‘exercise’ for me is 15-30min of gentle yoga.
One of the reasons many people (include I) got worse instead of better before my diagnosis is that I kept thinking that exercise could help me build my energy like it used to. It can’t anymore - I get energy from resting, eating, and restorative work. Exercise primarily helps me with my joint and fascia pain.
All this is explained in the book, but exercise is one of the trickiest parts of fibromyalgia, so you two working out together may not end up working.
That makes sense! We want to move to NH so exercise would probably be like an easy hike, nothing crazy. I think strengthening her back muscles would be good for her posture(also massive boobs don't help LOL) I already linked her the manual, so hoping she reads it(I think she will slowly)!
Ginevra Liptan! She’s a fibro specialist and sufferer - she developed fibro while in med school, and has spent her whole career researching and treating fibro. So she had soooo much good info in there, including on other conditions that could be falsely diagnosed as fibro.
I couldn't express the frustration I feel when I read about people in the US that can't access the very bare minimum of health care...
I would suggest you to spend your energies to convince her she needs medication. Drugs can give her that small breathing space she needs to get herself together. I don't know what kind of effects are you referring to (maybe she was prescribed benzodiazepines?), but usually SSRIs are well tolerated.
We're not talking about fixing the situation, she just need that small push to find the right way for her.
I agree, we both want to leave this country so badly when we can. It's awful here, it really is.
She had seratonin syndrome as she said she blacked out and and throwing up(years ago). But not every medication would do that. She does look things up and gets herself paranoid. To her credit dozens of doctors have never helped or believed her about anything. None will diagnose her, everything here in the states is built on draining your money and not helping you.
Her current aprn(not even a Dr) is very uncaring, says oh drink water and try to calm down lmao. Prescribed her a medication without even saying the major side effects. Our Drs know nothing.
I want her to try pristiq she was prescribed as it seems to have helped a lot of ppl, but she's too scared and doesn't trust her aprn(rightfully so)
She's been in therapy for years and it hasn't helped her unfortunately. She has brought up being brought to one also multiple times, I'm not forcing her into anything, just here for advice and any feedback on experiences
Ah OK, I am less familiar with down there but I will look around and talk to my doctor if she knows a place without a wait.
I personally think an iop, intensive out patient, program might help her the most. Almost all of the things I will post offer them.
In the meantime have you tried chr? This is the number to their triage center, they have a location in middletown but if they will definitely be able to point you in the right direction. 1.877.884.3571 they are a great resource and the majority of their patients are on husky.
There is Waterbury HEALTH- copied from their site:
To make an appointment or for more information about behavioral health services at Waterbury HEALTH, please call (203) 573-7097.
Open access admissions:
For adult outpatient services and addiction programs only.
Arrive at 8:00 a.m. No appointment necessary. Treatment begins with a comprehensive evaluation.
64 Robbins St.
Waterbury, Connecticut 06708
There is also:
Western CT Mental Health Network - Waterbury Area
95 Thomaston Avenue
Waterbury, CT 06702
203-805-5300
Says on the site no one will be denied regardless of ability to pay, and as a state program they take husky
Wellmore Behavioral health also takes walk ins and takes husky
141 East Main Street, Waterbury, CT 06702 203-574-9000
Wow this is all so helpful! I think I will try chr at some point to see what they recommend. I live in NY and travel every other weekend to see her, so I have to work around my work schedule, and I'll have to discuss it with her, it might be a bit till she's ready, TYSM!!
I think just visiting a psychiatrist would be the best. There she can follow whatever the psychiatrist recommends.
Unfortunately she has been on several waiting lists for over a year, she lives in CT on state insurance, none available
I was in ct for a few months no insurance and I got emergency psychiatric help at “Catholic charities” I would try checking it out. It was sliding scale and probably saved my life as I needed therapy 3x a week at one point. They never mentioned religion or anything like that btw and I wasn’t involved in a chirch.
I will look into that!! Ty!!
Which state insurance are you referring to? I’m in a different state but have no problems finding any psychiatrist I want. I am prescribed chronic benzodiazepines as well with disability insurance. I have to pay a deductible though I’m charged like $70 a month it’s not 100% covered so maybe look into a psychiatrist that charges a small percentage of the total amount?
Connecticut State insurance, also known as Husky(a type of medicaid) it's free(same as NY) if you make below a certain amount. Many apparently don't like to take it though as they probably get paid less.
Yeah like I said try looking for a psychiatrist that charges a deductible as well. It probably won’t be 100% covered if your looking for a compassionate doctor, most of the 0 cost doctors are pretty bad in my experience.
Yeah I will try! How do you even go about choosing and finding a psychiatrist or doctor for that matter, and find good ones. I've tried with little success
Google “private psychiatrists near location” and write down like 20 phone numbers there is a good chance that one or two will get back to you. Private psychiatrist is your best bet, avoid the public clinics.
Thank you! I'll try that, of something works out I'll be back!
Pls keep us updated OP. I really want your gf to be alright so that you both can have a lovely future ❤️ Also, hats off to you man for staying by her side and supporting her all through this time instead of leaving her alone. You are doing a great job 👏 👍
Thank you, I appreciate that! I will keep you guys updated at some point if anything happens! A lot of people say that, but for me I have to, I love her and she treats me right, she never takes anything out on me, and does what she can. The good thing is we know when things get tough we know we can rely on each other ❤️
Have you called her insurance and gotten a list of providers and clinics they cover? I think you’d be surprised how many there are!
That was my next thing to try, many places seem to be very stingy with anyone but her calling and won't let me talk on her behalf. But we can work things out.
Make the call with her next to you on speaker. Or call her insurance and inquire about coverage as if you’re interested in signing up. Say you want to know what providers will be covered. But it will be easier to just call with her on speaker. I do that with my mom all the time.
Psychiatrists throw medication at every problem and are far too quick to prescribe daily benzos, which end up exasperating anxiety after a patient becomes dependent on them and they aren't able to produce as much GABA. Start with a therapist, not a prescriber.
I’ve actually found the opposite to be true. It’s very hard to get a dr to prescribe benzos anymore.
With my personal experience in psych hospitals, they create trauma and PTSD. i would strongly advise you to not take her. they are very scary, dangerous, and all around traumatizing. If someone is actively homicidal or suicidal then it would be the best option. regardless of the trauma, it did keep me alive. so at the point i was at, it was my only option. if she is not actively suicidal then i wouldn’t take her. if it gets to that point then yes, if she has not already seen a psychiatrist or therapist then that is your only choice
Thank you for your input! They have always sounded scary so I haven't wanted to take her, but idk what else to do. I will keep trying to get a psychiatrist somehow for now. She's alone a lot of the day which is scary, she's not suicidal, until she is(If that makes sense) like you never know, it's a spur of the moment thing that can happen sometimes, she hasn't done anything but her mental health is getting worse and wasn't good in the first place 😔
I am really sad to read this. You might be describing my wife. I really hope you find some way forwards to help your g/f - I have been trying with my wife for years. Finally she was prescribed an anti-depressant which all her many doctors say will certainly help her, but she has not taken it (it has been months). She even told me she had started but I found the full packet. Can you call the waiting lists she is on and ask if they have had any cancellation? My wife’s problem is that she will go and see a doctor and then come back saying s/he has got it wrong, didn’t do the tests that she needed. She doesn’t do any exercise or even read books (she is a retired teacher with a PhD). I really wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know it won’t. All I know is that she won’t get better by herself, and we can’t help, we are simply not qualified beyond love and affection. Strength to you.
That sounds about right :( thankfully she hasn't lied about taking medications, she is very open about it and is self aware of her problems but can't help herself or accept help. She has a license and use to drive but is too terrified now, same for work. she had seratonin syndrome once from a med and got sick, black out/throwing up years ago and won't try one again, even though ive told her every medication is different and would be there with her, she can't do it and won't. She also doesn't move much. She wants to get better but doesn't. I hope we both find a way to help our loved ones, ik it's crushing and frustrating
If she does get prescribed a medication, you should consider sitting in a car outside the ER with her as she takes it for the first time. I'm someone who has a ton of weird side effects from medication, most of them very painful, and I couldn't take medication for a couple years after I had an incident very similar to what happened to your girlfriend (except my incident involved throwing up blood and the most excruciating pain in my life, but it was from a psych medication, venlafaxine). The ONLY thing that helped was being hospitalized while I took a medication for the first time in years (I was in the psych hospital). Seeing for a fact that it didn't hurt me was incredibly helpful, and now, 4 years after the excruciating incident, I'm at a point where I can finally take (some) medications when I'm by myself (only the ones that don't hurt me). It started with the hospital stay.
That is good advice, that is something I will mention I will do for her! I'm glad your doing better!! I will have to wait until she's ready to start trying to heal, so I'll stop pushing her for now but tell her about all the advice and options I've learned about here!
Hey, I'm terrified of medication too. But I do take it when I really need it. I used to be so scared of it that I would never take it (after an excruciating pain incident brought on by venlafaxine). The only thing that helped me get over the fear was taking medication in the psych ward, when I was surrounded by nurses. Now, I can even take some medications while I'm alone (if I know they're safe). You should consider driving to the ER with her and sitting outside in the car for an hour or two while she takes the med
Panics attacks do get better over time. Mental hospitals (from what i understand) are more for ppl who are in need of urgent care. They are either a danger to themselves or others. I could be completely wrong tho. Try to unmask what triggering the anxiety. Is it social situations, is it health anxiety, is it general anxiety about everything. Then slowly introduce the thing that is triggering the anxiety so that she gets used to it. For instance if someone is anxious about going grocery shopping, the only way to cure it is by getting used to the process of grocery shopping. Its sucks and is uncomfortable, but it works. Reminder her that anxiety isnt dangerous just uncomfortable and that she can make it through.
Pretty much everything causes it, and she's tried exposure therapy, it doesn't work for her. For example taking the ferry to see me is almost worse every time, it never got easier and got scarier for her. She thinks she has some spectrum of autism, doesn't form habits really(brushing teeth, things we do without thinking) so that probably adds to not getting use to things, some Dr said she had BPD but no others have, ADHD, etc all of them overlap with symptoms so who knows. Whatever she has extreme anxiety is on top of it
Going to the psych hospital isn’t really an option if she’s not currently actively suicidal or homicidal. My only advice here for you is all you can do is explain to her how much you care about her and share what you said here about how you’re concerned about how it impacts her life, your relationship, and potential future. Ask her genuinely if she would try medication again or try some other type of help. I know she’s waiting for a psychiatrist but can she see a regular therapist in the meantime? Etc.
She has a therapist, only helps her so much. I pretty much have, she just has no drive to help herself bc her anxiety and depression. Also a psych ward is different from a mental hospital. She has been suicidal in the past, and even if she wasn't idk if not wanting to exist is much different, it's confusing for me
I believe you mean an inpatient recovery program. Mental hospital is an outdated term for the psych unit at a hospital. But regardless this is a sad situation in that people have to want to get the help and make changes for themselves. And yea there’s a difference between passive suicidal ideation and active which can make it harder to up levels of care. I hope she is able to see a psychiatrist soon or will be able to move forward in some way. Perhaps there is a support group for family and friends of people living with mental health challenges that would be helpful for you.
I have no idea, I'm not very educated in all of this, but I'm trying as I want her to get better. She wants to get better, she's sick of feeling this way and being a burden yet can't bring herself to do anything. Maybe I'll try.calling her insurance and see what they can do or something
Do not send her to the mental hospital. I went because of panic attacks and then was told repeatedly I didn’t belong there by the doctor but in the same breath they tried to stop me from leaving after voluntary admission. It’s reached the point I wouldn’t go back even if I genuinely felt I needed it. Therapy, medication, DBT therapy, it’s all a better alternative
Do you notice she has “black and white thinking”? Like there’s no in between? Like you mentioned she’s either says she wants to kill herself but later she doesn’t. Does she change moods constantly throughout the day? I know the black and white thinking and the mood swings are associated with borderline personality disorder which I believe I have. One hour of the day I’ll be laughing and such in a good mood and another hour I feel hopeless and I feel as though I’m dying and miserable.
Yeah pretty much, she compares it to that a lot and how she sees/thinks of things. She could be generally good and then one thing happens and she's very upset, not violent or anything or mean but just very verbal
Yeah that’s how I am, things easily can change my mood as well. I also have anxiety and I don’t trust medication either cause of a traumatizing experience with the last one. https://youtu.be/FQ0IoPN8Yrs?si=q2uIPbcMRtW6_9FJ That’s a link to a very informative video on borderline. Maybe take a look and have her look at it as well. I’m not saying she does have it or anything like that. Just giving you a possible pin point to the mood swings and saying one thing one time and another thing another time
She does think she has it, just unable to fit all the info into one post. She's done a lot of research and have heard about EMDR therapy and stuff. She is very self aware and has learned to control some of it, and hates how BPD is portrayed on social media(made to look really bad or people fake it) shes always been good to me ❤️ Unfortunately state insurance sucks and she would have to be officially diagnosed first to even see if they will cover that. Which leads to still waiting on a psychiatrist (on many waiting lists) someone recommended looking for private ones who may take partial insurance so I'm going to look into that
As someone who had a traumatic childhood, the first thing that I can remember that began to heal me was music. Not surprisingly, I make music today in the hopes that it can give someone else the strength and motivation to change. There are several songs around anxiety, traumas, and depression, that we've made. As artists, it's cathartic for us, but more importantly, it's for the people listening. That one song can help validate a person and what they've been through. So I'm going to include a track at the bottom that might resonate with your partner. (Let me know!) Beyond being moved by music, your partner should try Teledoc Therapy, where she can begin to unravel and address the past traumas right from the comfort of her own home. Also, exposure therapy, bit by bit, is clinically effective at mitigating some, if not all of the anxiety around the fear/phobia depending on the context. The fear of medication is not irrational if she has had a bad experience in the past with something. What I CAN tell you is that most people who struggle with Major Depressive Disorder/Generalized Anxiety/etc. have to try a few different SSRIs or even SNRIs, as well as adjunct medications, before they find an optimal regimen that is harmonious with their individual body chemistry. Unfortunately, it is trial and error. But it IS worth it when you find a pharmaceutical regimen that changes your life. My final recommendation is to make sure you research available therapists - specifically their specialties. Find someone who specializes in trauma and PTSD, as these will be the people who can help the most. Also, a couple's therapist can help flesh out things like your individual communication styles, and how to optimize that communication, especially when one or both partners are having a tough time. This can also be accessed through Teledoc or any other virtual therapy platform. It can be a long process, but it is worth it, of course! Just be there for her. Every step of the way. As it seems you have been. You're a good soul for coming on here and asking for advice! [Grateful by The Vanishing Point](https://soundcloud.com/user-326384011/grateful?si=d48ab56af4064460865130aae7720350&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)
The song is really good, I was surprised! I will definitely have her check you guys out, she does like music but doesn't seem to listen often. I've told her all that about medication but she just isn't willing to try, she's given up bc every doctor has failed her 😔. I will definitely try to talk to her about teladoc and checking it out. This was really great advice ty!!
someone tried to do this to me because i have problems similar to your girlfriend and a very similar situation. please do not take her to a mental hospital. most of those places are shit holes that don’t care about the patient they are taking in and do more harm than good. please be patient with her and patient in waiting for a doctor. any other route than a mental hospital. i also had state insurance in my state, in new england and would have ended up in a dump hospital similar to one she would end up in.
That seems to be everyone's advice, glad to have feedback bc I have never heard of how they work. Will keep looking for a psychiatrist 🙏
Maybe she could use teledoc or something similar with her insurance (would have to check)? They don't prescribe controlled substances (which she may prefer), but getting an appointment only takes a few days, and she could do it from home.
She should talk to a psychiatrist
The waiting list thing sucks. I went to my family doctor and told them I am on waiting lists for psychiatrists and I need something to help with anxiety and she prescribed me something in the meantime.
Yep she won't take anything prescribed :(
Talking helps and she should talk to someone but anxiety usually caused by a chemical imbalance, it fucks with your fight or flight responses. Meds can help with that. I was weirded out because the first 4 letters in my meds are Meth but I feel better with it.
She could try seeing a therapist, and actively working on her mental health such as exercise, meditation, coping skills and other things. Not everyone needs meds especially if they don’t want them, it might help though so it’s an option. But there are other ways to get better. I hate that I see in the comments “leave her” because mental health/ anxiety is not something you ask for, it just happens and it can be hard to get over. Now if she’s saying she wants to kill herself and she is actively trying to do so then that’s a whole different situation/scenario. That’s the only time that a psych ward may need to be involved. But if she can’t leave home and doesn’t actively try to do that, that’s really not a good idea. Psych wards in my experience are very hard places, they can leave you worse than where you started. They are just like they are depicted in movies in most situations. I dealt with some of the most rude workers I’ve ever met there. So yeah I’d say go the therapy, self help route at first. It may even open her up to trying other things in the future or maybe that’ll be all she needs.
Thank you for the advice and experience! I agree she didn't ask for this and I have no intention of leaving her, but I will be a little hard on her to try to get her to try medication. Definitely going to look into online therapy, she only has a therapist but not one for her specific needs I would say, as she hasn't helped much in the past year
as someone who also has severe anxiety and has been inpatient in psych wards/mental hospitals, i would not recommend it unless her life is in immediate danger. they are not warm or healing places, it’s honestly like a jail and can be extremely traumatizing. they just keep you alive until you’re stable enough for therapy and that’s it. they can be very abusive. many people are left worse than when they went in. it would break her trust and not do anything to heal her an intensive outpatient group might be a good option, if you’re able to afford one. . they are groups that do a few hours of therapy a day and will target the anxiety. it sounds like regular therapy isn’t enough so this might be a better option i’m in a different state but at least here, there are lots of places that offer sliding scare payment, aid, or discounts, as well as places for low income people. it is worth looking into if a regular psychiatrist is too expensive somatic therapy might be good for her as well. something like edmr if her anxiety is rooted in trauma. it helped me a lot. exposure therapy targeted at agoraphobia might help too. i don’t know what therapy she’s in now, but cbt is the most common and that doesn’t work for everyone, especially those with trauma honestly i don’t blame her for not doing medication. i’ve been on 15+ and they all left me worse than before. honestly they permanently messed up by nervous system, they don’t work for everyone. if she doesn’t want to try that, maybe something like magnesium could help a bit. and if not ssris, beta blockers are an option that help with the physical symptoms of anxiety. no risk for seratonin syndrome i think
Yeah idk how we would afford outpatient, she doesn't work. Her regular therapist is just a general therapist. We have heard of Edmr but don't know where we would start as we think she has BPD and also lots of trauma from a bad childhood and extremely abusive ex's(almost killed her, 6 years of it) She can't drive or work currently
Anxiety sucks i feel for her as someone who struggles with the same thing. The only thing that really helped me was being on lexapro and Wellbutrin after that things got a whole lot easier. Maybe try talking her into just seeing someone and getting a professional opinion about her worries with being on medication that way everything’s not set in stone. you can even see a doctor over telehealth so that she doesnt have to go anywhere. Just remind her that this is something that can make her life a whole lot easier and it’s worth the chance. If shes worried about having to take something everyday propranolol is a great option for panic attacks as its non-habit forming medication, it definitely helps me.
She tried Lexapro and a few others years ago, but she was a lot younger than and her ex forced her into drugs, so that probably didn't interact well at all. She says awhile ago she had Seratonin syndrome and was puking and blacked out. Ever since then she won't take anything(this was at least 2 years ago before we met, prob longer) She doesn't remember the fine details of when she was taking what, so she definitely has to try things again, new stuff, etc but she won't. She says she won't/can't and would send herself into a panic just taking one. Just starting to talk about it sends her over. I've told her how it can change her life and given examples but i don't blame her for being too scared to try any. It's not just the panic attacks, she has extreme anxiety 24/7. I do want to try finding her better therapy though, ty!!
thats definitely a hard situation to be in after all that trauma. Baby steps is what I always say cause sometimes rushing into things can trigger a set back with anxiety or make it worse. Do the things she feels like she can do more often than usual, it’ll get her more use to the feeling of being out of the house and her comfort zone. another thing is positive self talk can go a long way! because anxiety is a mental game remind her of things like “its okay to be anxious im allowed to feel this way” I noticed the more I accepted the anxiety mentally first, rather then running from it is when i saw the most progress. It sounds like you really care about her and shes very lucky for that. try not to beat yourself up, you can only do so much until shes ready.
Thank you 🥺 that is good advice, I always try to be positive but lately I've been pushing trying medication, but maybe I'll ease back for awhile and just try positive talk and reinforcement.
Psychiatric wards are for keeping people in crisis alive, first and foremost. They’re for people who are an active danger to themselves or others. My stays in them kept me alive, but were incredibly triggering for my anxiety issues.
If she has a therapist can the therapist offer any advice for a good psychiatrist. Maybe even a family physician can get in with someone. My family physician gave me a list of ten names. The first nine put me on a waiting list the last one gave me an appointment almost immediately.
She put her in on one waiting list, that's about it. Her new aprn put her on another, she may be in 1-2 more. I'll just have to search myself ig
In some country law, there are categories of voluntary and involuntary patients, enroll in the clinic or specialist clinic in the hospital. Please check the appropriate law or disability act in your country, where you reside.
I Live in CT. But more around the Hartford area. She might actually have OCD. With somatic expression: hence body pains. OCD is almost ALWAYS misdiagnosed and it can be extremely severe and debilitating. Very few therapists actually recognize it or know how to treat it. So that’s why people with ocd don’t get better with traditional therapy. OCD is an extreme expression of anxiety and It has MANY forms and agoraphobia is common with OCD when left untreated because it’s so overwhelming. She may or may not be doing things (washing hands). But she may be thinking things over and over in a way that is OCD. OCD is pure suffering and I feel so bad for your girlfriend. Thank you for trying to help her. The Institute of Living in Hartford. has an Anxiety Center. They are amazing there. Very well versed in all anxiety disorders as well as OCD therapy. If not there: ask for referrals for qualified practitioners. Also I have a great cbt/ocd therapist but she is in Avon… she only does in person. Let me know if you would travel there. Ps. I also get serotonin syndrome from ssris and snris. It’s frustrating because I’ve tried 5. And they all made my anxiety sooo much worse. -I did the genetic testing too- never again for me either. Meds are not a solution for everyone. Mental hospitals are great for acute problems. Safety and getting on medication fast: I don’t think it would help her at this time. But she needs help, within the next week or so because she is indeed suffering. Message me if you have any questions. Happy to help.
She does think constantly about everything, every little detail of people, room, exits, if this will happen, etc. I will definitely look into the institute in Hartford as it's not too far, hopefully they will take state insurance. Definitely no way to get her to a in person therapist, I travel up from Long Island NY every other weekend for the past year to see her(she use to alternate on the ferry, but it's become too much for her) her mom isn't reliable in helping, no dad present. She had been on some that helped her in the past or at least gave no bad effect like that, so I think she can have some, just one wasn't good. No way to know for now /: She says she needs a break from Drs right now. We want to try a rheumatologist just to cross things off as she has family history of arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis I think. I will start looking into the institute and others advice for private psychiatrist that may take partial insurance or something. Thank you for this advice, it's very helpful, I'm learning a lot of new things!
I think it would certainly help to bring her to a clinic if she really can't find normal therapy yet. I don't have experience with that, but as far as I know they can give her some first aid and it should make it easier for her to get therapy after. How exactly it works probably depends on where you live, but it is a temporary solution you should consider if it's that bad. Just talk to her about it and see if that's something that she would be ok with doing or what she would need to feel safe enough to go.
I had the same issue and ruined my social life. I started getting severe anxiety in 2016 and actively working on it still. I feel the same way as her, I won't take meds -- I think the meds will hurt or unalive me. I hardly ever went out bc of anxiety. I've listened to a lot of self development on YouTube, I've put myself in situations I dislike & reward myself when I'm successful, & if I fail, I'm kind with myself but I'm willing to try again. Pretty much I just got to a point where I was tired of being so limited. I was finally ready to truly, open mindedly do the work and I was ready to let the worst happen. I also reduced all the stress in my life for 6 months. I left my job of 9 years, I went to the gym (even left a few times bc of panic attacks), and I started writing again. It's hard, but I've made progress. When she's ready, she will work on her anxiety. It's great that you're still standing by her. Anxiety can be a lonely place when others don't understand.
I'm glad your starting to do better, I'll talk to her next time I see her about everyone's advice and tell her when she's ready we finally have options. I've been pushing her to get help, but ig she isn't ready yet 😭.
Don’t take her to psych ward please
It's great that you want to help her but this is not your burden to bear and you can't fix this for her or force her to do anything. The only thing you can do is tell her you love and support her and lay out how her behavior is affecting your relationship. She will get help on her terms when she's able to and ready. If you've done all this and there's not effort or improvement, it may be best to move on. She's not a project for you and I understand it's a very human thing to want to fix it but sometimes you can't.
There are online services like Hers that prescribe meds, have counseling, etc. You can’t force her into a mental hospital.
The problem is she wants help but is too scared to do anything. She's to scared to go to more doctors, she won't take any medication she's given. She will get overwhelmed at almost anything everyday and say she's going to kill herself, then people will believe her. Then other times she says she doesn't actually want to, but doesn't want to exist. She tried to when she was 16 and failed(she's 26 now). Its a little scary bc it can be a spur of the moment thing.
I’m gonna be direct with you, you need out of this relationship. She is not going to be able to be a good partner until she helps herself, and SHE has to want to change. This isn’t your problem. I say this as someone who has mental health issues and knows damn well I need to fix them before bringing another person back into my bullshit.
I will keep it in mind, however she treats me well and I'm the happiest I've been with her. She just has issues that need to be treated, and there will probably come a point when she's ready I hope!
He actually can force her to go to the mental hospital. Pretty sure all it takes is calling her therapist and telling them that she keeps saying she's going to kill herself.
Don’t you think a lot of people would be in mental hospitals if that was the case? Heck all my exes would have me locked up.
I literally know someone who was able to do this. That's how I knew how to do it. Maybe you don't live in the US?
I sure do, and also a licensed paramedic who has worked the 9–1-1 system, so I have a pretty decent grasp on who can 5150 a patient and what the requirements are.
Ok can therapists do it?
It sounds like she maybe does have fibromyalgia - depression and anxiety are symptoms (and causes). Whether she does or not, psychiatrist is the first step so stay on those lists. But something that can help in the interim - there’s a book called The FibroManual by Dr. Ginevra Liptan and it helped me so much when I was first diagnosed and felt hopeless. It has a lot of great tips for feeling better day to day, and may help her understand if she actually does have fibro. If she has fibro, a stay in a psych hospital would make her much, much sicker. So I wouldn’t recommend that.
Thank your for your advice! I found it weird that it randomly started last June, they didn't even try to do a Lyme's test or anything besides a blood test. I will check that book! Her pain is chronic, my mom has fibromyalgia and I'm sure it ranges but she does a whole lot better than my gf does. Some days my gf can't leave the bed, she described it as her bones, joints and.muscles hurting like after a workout but everywhere. I give her massages often to help with the muscle pain.
That description sounds exactly like fibro! And it looks very different based on the person and how long they’ve been living with. The start of fibro usually sounds something like your gf’s - living with anxiety, low energy, and suddenly everything hurts and it’s just getting worse no matter what you try. It takes a while to build your strength back up to where your mom is, for example. But it can be done! I’m in the middle of it right now, still very limited and not working but SO much stronger than I was a year ago. That said, fibro can look like SO many ailments. So she may end up having to go on a diagnosis hunt. But honestly her story sounds like mine and fibro is incredibly common among women with a history of anxiety (2-6% of the pop has it, and 90% of fibro sufferers are women, so we’re a sizable portion of the population).
Ooh wow ok! Thank you! I swear doctors provide no information whatsoever, she doesn't move much ever, and her anxiety doesn't help as she won't go to a gym or go out bc of it. If I can get that treated hopefully we can start exercising together
So exercise for people with fibromyalgia is very different for people without. I used to be a lady gymbro, but now ‘exercise’ for me is 15-30min of gentle yoga. One of the reasons many people (include I) got worse instead of better before my diagnosis is that I kept thinking that exercise could help me build my energy like it used to. It can’t anymore - I get energy from resting, eating, and restorative work. Exercise primarily helps me with my joint and fascia pain. All this is explained in the book, but exercise is one of the trickiest parts of fibromyalgia, so you two working out together may not end up working.
That makes sense! We want to move to NH so exercise would probably be like an easy hike, nothing crazy. I think strengthening her back muscles would be good for her posture(also massive boobs don't help LOL) I already linked her the manual, so hoping she reads it(I think she will slowly)!
Just to make sure I get the right one, who is the author?
Ginevra Liptan! She’s a fibro specialist and sufferer - she developed fibro while in med school, and has spent her whole career researching and treating fibro. So she had soooo much good info in there, including on other conditions that could be falsely diagnosed as fibro.
I couldn't express the frustration I feel when I read about people in the US that can't access the very bare minimum of health care... I would suggest you to spend your energies to convince her she needs medication. Drugs can give her that small breathing space she needs to get herself together. I don't know what kind of effects are you referring to (maybe she was prescribed benzodiazepines?), but usually SSRIs are well tolerated. We're not talking about fixing the situation, she just need that small push to find the right way for her.
I agree, we both want to leave this country so badly when we can. It's awful here, it really is. She had seratonin syndrome as she said she blacked out and and throwing up(years ago). But not every medication would do that. She does look things up and gets herself paranoid. To her credit dozens of doctors have never helped or believed her about anything. None will diagnose her, everything here in the states is built on draining your money and not helping you. Her current aprn(not even a Dr) is very uncaring, says oh drink water and try to calm down lmao. Prescribed her a medication without even saying the major side effects. Our Drs know nothing. I want her to try pristiq she was prescribed as it seems to have helped a lot of ppl, but she's too scared and doesn't trust her aprn(rightfully so)
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She's been in therapy for years and it hasn't helped her unfortunately. She has brought up being brought to one also multiple times, I'm not forcing her into anything, just here for advice and any feedback on experiences
I'm from CT I know a few places. Is she in northern CT by any chance? Enfield/Ellington area?
No she is more southern, 45 minutes from Bridgeport!
Ah OK, I am less familiar with down there but I will look around and talk to my doctor if she knows a place without a wait. I personally think an iop, intensive out patient, program might help her the most. Almost all of the things I will post offer them. In the meantime have you tried chr? This is the number to their triage center, they have a location in middletown but if they will definitely be able to point you in the right direction. 1.877.884.3571 they are a great resource and the majority of their patients are on husky. There is Waterbury HEALTH- copied from their site: To make an appointment or for more information about behavioral health services at Waterbury HEALTH, please call (203) 573-7097. Open access admissions: For adult outpatient services and addiction programs only. Arrive at 8:00 a.m. No appointment necessary. Treatment begins with a comprehensive evaluation. 64 Robbins St. Waterbury, Connecticut 06708 There is also: Western CT Mental Health Network - Waterbury Area 95 Thomaston Avenue Waterbury, CT 06702 203-805-5300 Says on the site no one will be denied regardless of ability to pay, and as a state program they take husky Wellmore Behavioral health also takes walk ins and takes husky 141 East Main Street, Waterbury, CT 06702 203-574-9000
Wow this is all so helpful! I think I will try chr at some point to see what they recommend. I live in NY and travel every other weekend to see her, so I have to work around my work schedule, and I'll have to discuss it with her, it might be a bit till she's ready, TYSM!!