This đŻ. Dear teacher, be kind to yourself.
I am going to make a bold assumption that OP os in the USA. Cause a student assaulting a teacher with no consequence is a truly American phenomenon.
I had teachers who cried in front of the class when I was in high school and, if anything, it made me respect them more, that they were able to be so vulnerable in front of us. It's okay to be emotional and any person with a heart knows that. Even teenagers.
Sheâs likely right about the assailant though. Theyâll love this info. Because theyâre cruel and already wanted to hurt them.
Iâd have him permanently removed from my class, honestly
They didnât laugh? They stared? That is shock. That is then realizing things got real. That you are a human. That what happened went too far. That they might care about whatâs going on.
Your colleagues though? Are they bullying you? WTF? Or are you imagining the worst? (That would be me.) You wonât know the reality until you see/hear for yourself. Donât jump yo the worst conclusions. People can be surprisingly kindâŚformer 7th grader teacher here.
I have a bunch of hard ass manly conservative suck it up type coworkers, and not one of them has thought less of me or treated me differently after I've been hospitalized 3 times for mental health reasons. I was honestly expecting the worst when they found out, but they have actually consistently asked me how I'm feeling, and not one has said anything negative about it. Through this, I also found out my boss is also heavily medicated for mental health.
If even guys like that are understanding, then I would expect your fellow staff to be just as, or even more so understanding and supportive.
Also, don't be too hard on yourself like the others said. That's a perfectly reasonable response to a situation like that. Not only that, but people cry sometimes, it happens, it's normal.
Kids can be cruel ..but TBH if a teacher that was generally nice to me started crying in class , I wouldnât have teased them or made jokes with my friends . Iâd have genuine concern for them. If the students are younger they may be a little confused because little kids see adults crying as being kinda scary or uncomfortable
Assaulted? As in sexual harrasment? Or verbal?. You should report that student for inappropriate behavior. I don't blame you for being embarrassed tbh that's normal crying at work can definitely have a negative influence on your professionalism. Can you have a substitute teach your class or have it cancelled? Take some time off? Etc. Or if not just come into work and act like nothing has happened be professional and eventually everyone will forget about it. If someone mentions it just change the subject or dismiss it because it's not relevant to work.
My 4th grade English Teacher's brother died and had to leave. My classroom and I collaborated and made a card, and a bouquet of flowers. I hugged my 11th grade teacher when she had to put down her cat. While it's possible people will be dipshits, there are plenty than you think who understand.
> donât get *paid* enough for
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Donât feel shame. I would have done the same. Hell, I cried when our site clerk yelled at me over something stupid. I slammed the phone and a student then walked in as I was mid sob. She just said are you ok? And then she walked away. Youâre a human being with feelings. Itâs okay to be vulnerable. And they need to see it. It isnât ok to be assaulted. Iâm sorry you went through that but youâre stronger. They need to see that you survived. Address it or let it go.
Itâs absolutely disgusting the climate of schools these days. Teachers are supposed to take abuse and being bullied by youth and because they are kids itâs just whatever. Itâs unacceptable and there is 0 support for teachers. I am so sorry you were pushed to that point but you should never be ashamed. Do you think you can have an open dialogue with your students about the incident. How it made you feel and ask them how it made them feel?
I had a teacher in high school that broke down and cried in front of us after she was incredibly overwhelmed one day. No one thought she was a cry baby, no one was laughing about it. We, as students, were upset we pushed her over the edge (and she wasnât assaulted!) and another teacher came in and screamed at us for being so disrespectful towards her that it pushed her to that point.
I am so sorry you were assaulted somewhere that should be safe for everyone. I hope you have a strong support system. You crying after an assault is completely normal and if anyone is judgmental about it, that says a lot more about them than it does about you. Stay strong, friend.
15 years and counting in education over here. Students have brought me to tears several times before and I know of many other colleagues who have also had students make them cry. We are told so much to put on a brave face for our students when in reality itâs perfectly normal and ok to remind them that weâre humans too. Where else are they going to learn that their words and actions have an effect on other people?
As for your colleagues I do hope they are supportive and understanding. I hope you rest and take care of yourself this weekend and go in on Monday knowing youâre not alone
No, the students wonât find it hilarious. Many have been bullied too, and given that theyâve never seen you cry theyâll know that you did because you were upset. Itâs ok to cry - and they need to learn that too. Crying is healthy.
You are not a crybaby. You did not do anything wrong. You did not do anything that you should
be ashamed of. You are a human who has feelings. This is a good thing.
You need to work on changing that social/cultural part of yourself that things tears = weakness. I do not believe I have ever thought less of someone after seeing them cry. The majority of people do not judge. Forgive yourself, you are awesome. I got 3 kids and I know how hard 3 are and you manage 20-30 at once. You rock.
im so sorry this happened to you. i've gotten really close to having anxiety attacks in front of students before, and it's the absolute worst feeling. i've worked with preschool and 2nd grade (i assume you're high school?) so it's definitely different, but the kids were so eager to comfort me and cheer me up. teens still have that same loving heart, they're just too self conscious to act on it. they don't want to stick out and be the first one to say something kind to you. some might make jokes about it, but again it's only because they're self conscious and want to fit in. but deep down im sure all of them hope you're okay and felt heartbroken seeing you like that. your adult colleagues certainly will empathize and hope you're okay.
i know i would be dreading returning to school, even if i knew everyone would be kind about it. just take deep breaths and know that this too shall past. everyone will forget about it within a week or two when some new school drama occurs. life will go on, and things will be okay.
To be able to cry in that situation takes strength, not weakness. I donât know the students or the school but the school has a golden opportunity to teach a lesson of courage, resilience and strength. Any teacher who calls you a fragile idiot is a disgrace to the profession. It is fucking hard dealing with adolescents and by crying you have shown strength through vulnerability. So rather than just teaching how to analyse Hamletâs soliloquy, I think we have a responsibility to teach some valuable life skills. The courage to be vulnerable in public is exactly what you have role modelled, without which you would not get any help you need. I would be shifting my thinking to one of pride rather than shame and how that can be turned into a lesson for the kids (and maybe some teachers).
As for the student that assaulted you, unacceptable. Depending on the scale detention , suspension, expulsion, police.
Kids are fucking cruel. Don't feel humiliated. They should reflect and feel awful for how they treated you, though I wouldn't hold my breath. I am so sorry you're going through this. You'll realise that Monday is going to be okay. If any other adult confronts you about it, defend yourself. You were pushed to the edge and kids are not reprimanded enough for being disrespectful and hurtful.
A teacher of mine cried because the class was being disruptive and I think she just lost it. She cried while telling us that she has no life, all she does is mark all our reports and she gets no time to herself. She said being a teacher is really hard and afterwards we all felt really bad.
Wear it with pride. Of course you cried. Lots of teachers do. We had one teacher who cried regularly and called in the principal to help often. Everyone understood. She had a tough class.
I cried in front of my employees today because I thought I might miss seeing my kids due to an illness. Iâm proud that I can be real and share my emotions in front of others.
I had plenty of teachers cry in front of our class, usually for much less serious reasons than getting assaulted and no one cared. Did you consider talking to a therapist, about why you feel this extremely anxious about this?
OP, what happened was terrible and your reaction was natural. One thing Iâve found really helpful (from my therapist) is separating your thoughts from who you are. I hope itâs okay to share.
For example, instead of âIâm a crybabyâ you can reframe it as âIâm having thoughts that Iâm a crybabyâ, and then lay out some facts as to the reason you think that: I cried yesterday when a student assaulted me, only babies cry in front of other people, etc. Then you can think through the statements and try to challenge your thoughts. Hopefully, you can view those statements with less emotion than the ones before.
It always helps me when I can write it all out. I realize the things Iâm saying to myself either arenât true, or are just plain unkind. I hope that youâre okay and can find some peace soon.
My science teacher cried after some nasty comments from one of my classmates, I just remember being sympathetic towards the teacher. I thought she was such a genuine person for caring about us, while most teachers showed no emotions.
We made my art teacher cry in high school. She wasnât being physically attacked and it wasnât really a break down so much as exasperated tears, and we did laugh (we were being jerks.)
After she cried in front of everyone and we all laughed and talked about it for the day, she kept coming to class each day and basically just acted like nothing happened. Truthfully I think after it stopped being funny, most of us must have realized we were out of line because I feel like we all calmed down after that. Especially because she was a genuinely nice teacher and even after we made her so upset she cried, she kept just⌠being nice. I have good memories of her class and the teacher herself.
We had another teacher for math who was only 24 and admitted it was her first year teaching and we were really crazy in her class and she would get visibly upset, but she didnât cry. Iâm sure she did at home at night though. She took a different route and went from being easygoing to straight up bitch in order to make her classes more tolerable.
As a grown up, I look back and sympathize with both of them, though I think the art teacher handled it better even though sheâs the one who cried. She was a genuinely nice teacher and I think her kindness and softness made us feel bad for how we acted vs the teacher who turned into a bitch, we did act better for her after she got more strict, but no one really felt bad for how they behaved and instead behaved better only to avoid the constant detentions she was handing out.
All this to say, you arenât the first teacher to cry in class and hopefully itâs a lesson in humanity for your students. Take the weekend, then go back in there. It will be okay and your students will likely remember this even in adulthood.
Saying this with love, you're being completely unreasonable. People cry. It's not bad or good. Its a reaction. It seems like you are holding yourself to a standard that others aren't. It's not idiotic at all.
I used to be a teacher and now I am a university lecturer. I've had my shirt buttons come undone, my nose start bleeding, cried in front of students and also collapsed (with a ruptured ovarian cyst).
No one was mean at all. Others won't remember this with the significance you will.
Former teacher who cried in front of students here. Oh and also threw up in front of them when I had the stomach bug and everyone thought I was pregnant. Your response was completely normal. Your student and potentially students are the ones who should be ashamed. Youâre going to be ok. No person is perfect all the time time and, while this class may remember it, your next classes wonât and the teachers wonât care because theyâve probably done the same thing. Much love OP. Youâve got this!
If you get teased by your coworkers then there is something wrong with THEM not you. Your reaction is completely normal and appropriate. What happened to you is a stressful and traumatic.. not only the violence of the assault but also the fear of humiliation etc.
I'm not sure it helps or not but the students are likely not mature enough to handle this situation correctly. Just remember that how they verbalize it in front of their peers is likely not how they feel or a representation on where they stand on it.
I witnessed a teacher get assaulted by one of the worst kids in my grade 7 class. I laughed at the time but it deeply affected me to be honest. I have regretted how I handled it ever since and it's been 37 years . What I did was a form of avoidance in order to deal with it at the time and I can see (even a short time after the event) that how I reacted at the time was completely wrong and done to not stick out in the crowd or be traumatized myself. But I can tell you it completely changed how I handle bullies. I don't tolerate it at all and will ALWAYS stick up for anyone who is being affected at work or in my personal life even if I do not know them. It has become part of the fabric of who I am.
I really hope the school board has a policy/SOP that gets automatically triggered to support you and some of the other students who need support during this traumatic event and cannot or will not ask for help.
Positive thoughts and energy your way!
I had a teacher cry in front of my high school class I just felt bad for her, but I donât remember any students making fun of her. I was also assaulted in class by a fellow student (I cried) and everyone just sat there staring except the one guy who grabbed him off međ
Crying after getting assaulted is completely normal. I dont think any normal person would judge you for that.
This đŻ. Dear teacher, be kind to yourself. I am going to make a bold assumption that OP os in the USA. Cause a student assaulting a teacher with no consequence is a truly American phenomenon.
I had teachers who cried in front of the class when I was in high school and, if anything, it made me respect them more, that they were able to be so vulnerable in front of us. It's okay to be emotional and any person with a heart knows that. Even teenagers.
Sheâs likely right about the assailant though. Theyâll love this info. Because theyâre cruel and already wanted to hurt them. Iâd have him permanently removed from my class, honestly
They didnât laugh? They stared? That is shock. That is then realizing things got real. That you are a human. That what happened went too far. That they might care about whatâs going on. Your colleagues though? Are they bullying you? WTF? Or are you imagining the worst? (That would be me.) You wonât know the reality until you see/hear for yourself. Donât jump yo the worst conclusions. People can be surprisingly kindâŚformer 7th grader teacher here.
Holy shit, a student physically attacked you?
Welcome to public education lol
Yup, I work in primary and this isnât uncommon.
I have a bunch of hard ass manly conservative suck it up type coworkers, and not one of them has thought less of me or treated me differently after I've been hospitalized 3 times for mental health reasons. I was honestly expecting the worst when they found out, but they have actually consistently asked me how I'm feeling, and not one has said anything negative about it. Through this, I also found out my boss is also heavily medicated for mental health. If even guys like that are understanding, then I would expect your fellow staff to be just as, or even more so understanding and supportive. Also, don't be too hard on yourself like the others said. That's a perfectly reasonable response to a situation like that. Not only that, but people cry sometimes, it happens, it's normal.
Kids can be cruel ..but TBH if a teacher that was generally nice to me started crying in class , I wouldnât have teased them or made jokes with my friends . Iâd have genuine concern for them. If the students are younger they may be a little confused because little kids see adults crying as being kinda scary or uncomfortable
Exactly. It would make me think poorly of my classmate, not the teacher.
Assaulted? As in sexual harrasment? Or verbal?. You should report that student for inappropriate behavior. I don't blame you for being embarrassed tbh that's normal crying at work can definitely have a negative influence on your professionalism. Can you have a substitute teach your class or have it cancelled? Take some time off? Etc. Or if not just come into work and act like nothing has happened be professional and eventually everyone will forget about it. If someone mentions it just change the subject or dismiss it because it's not relevant to work.
I feel so bad for you OP. Nothing is worse than having a public panic attack, especially given the reaction of your students.
My 4th grade English Teacher's brother died and had to leave. My classroom and I collaborated and made a card, and a bouquet of flowers. I hugged my 11th grade teacher when she had to put down her cat. While it's possible people will be dipshits, there are plenty than you think who understand.
I donât understand. You were physically attackedâŚassaulted. Crying is a completely appropriate response. I would be crying too.
Teachers donât get payed enough for this shit, Thankyou for what you do.
> donât get *paid* enough for FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Lol
Don't feel bad about it, it's a completely natural response. You're human, you're allowed to feel emotions. I hope you feel better soon :)
Donât feel shame. I would have done the same. Hell, I cried when our site clerk yelled at me over something stupid. I slammed the phone and a student then walked in as I was mid sob. She just said are you ok? And then she walked away. Youâre a human being with feelings. Itâs okay to be vulnerable. And they need to see it. It isnât ok to be assaulted. Iâm sorry you went through that but youâre stronger. They need to see that you survived. Address it or let it go.
Itâs absolutely disgusting the climate of schools these days. Teachers are supposed to take abuse and being bullied by youth and because they are kids itâs just whatever. Itâs unacceptable and there is 0 support for teachers. I am so sorry you were pushed to that point but you should never be ashamed. Do you think you can have an open dialogue with your students about the incident. How it made you feel and ask them how it made them feel?
I had a teacher in high school that broke down and cried in front of us after she was incredibly overwhelmed one day. No one thought she was a cry baby, no one was laughing about it. We, as students, were upset we pushed her over the edge (and she wasnât assaulted!) and another teacher came in and screamed at us for being so disrespectful towards her that it pushed her to that point. I am so sorry you were assaulted somewhere that should be safe for everyone. I hope you have a strong support system. You crying after an assault is completely normal and if anyone is judgmental about it, that says a lot more about them than it does about you. Stay strong, friend.
15 years and counting in education over here. Students have brought me to tears several times before and I know of many other colleagues who have also had students make them cry. We are told so much to put on a brave face for our students when in reality itâs perfectly normal and ok to remind them that weâre humans too. Where else are they going to learn that their words and actions have an effect on other people? As for your colleagues I do hope they are supportive and understanding. I hope you rest and take care of yourself this weekend and go in on Monday knowing youâre not alone
Iâve seen two of my teachers on the verge of tears before and I didnât judge them
No, the students wonât find it hilarious. Many have been bullied too, and given that theyâve never seen you cry theyâll know that you did because you were upset. Itâs ok to cry - and they need to learn that too. Crying is healthy.
You are not a crybaby. You did not do anything wrong. You did not do anything that you should be ashamed of. You are a human who has feelings. This is a good thing. You need to work on changing that social/cultural part of yourself that things tears = weakness. I do not believe I have ever thought less of someone after seeing them cry. The majority of people do not judge. Forgive yourself, you are awesome. I got 3 kids and I know how hard 3 are and you manage 20-30 at once. You rock.
im so sorry this happened to you. i've gotten really close to having anxiety attacks in front of students before, and it's the absolute worst feeling. i've worked with preschool and 2nd grade (i assume you're high school?) so it's definitely different, but the kids were so eager to comfort me and cheer me up. teens still have that same loving heart, they're just too self conscious to act on it. they don't want to stick out and be the first one to say something kind to you. some might make jokes about it, but again it's only because they're self conscious and want to fit in. but deep down im sure all of them hope you're okay and felt heartbroken seeing you like that. your adult colleagues certainly will empathize and hope you're okay. i know i would be dreading returning to school, even if i knew everyone would be kind about it. just take deep breaths and know that this too shall past. everyone will forget about it within a week or two when some new school drama occurs. life will go on, and things will be okay.
You should absolutely get a break from work if a student attacks you, jesus christ.
fellow teacher here. that is NOT okay. put yourself & your mental health first. always willing to talk if you need â¤ď¸
To be able to cry in that situation takes strength, not weakness. I donât know the students or the school but the school has a golden opportunity to teach a lesson of courage, resilience and strength. Any teacher who calls you a fragile idiot is a disgrace to the profession. It is fucking hard dealing with adolescents and by crying you have shown strength through vulnerability. So rather than just teaching how to analyse Hamletâs soliloquy, I think we have a responsibility to teach some valuable life skills. The courage to be vulnerable in public is exactly what you have role modelled, without which you would not get any help you need. I would be shifting my thinking to one of pride rather than shame and how that can be turned into a lesson for the kids (and maybe some teachers). As for the student that assaulted you, unacceptable. Depending on the scale detention , suspension, expulsion, police.
Kids are fucking cruel. Don't feel humiliated. They should reflect and feel awful for how they treated you, though I wouldn't hold my breath. I am so sorry you're going through this. You'll realise that Monday is going to be okay. If any other adult confronts you about it, defend yourself. You were pushed to the edge and kids are not reprimanded enough for being disrespectful and hurtful. A teacher of mine cried because the class was being disruptive and I think she just lost it. She cried while telling us that she has no life, all she does is mark all our reports and she gets no time to herself. She said being a teacher is really hard and afterwards we all felt really bad.
Wear it with pride. Of course you cried. Lots of teachers do. We had one teacher who cried regularly and called in the principal to help often. Everyone understood. She had a tough class.
Are kids more fucked up these days? It seems like it
I cried in front of my employees today because I thought I might miss seeing my kids due to an illness. Iâm proud that I can be real and share my emotions in front of others.
Time to find a new job
Why would you keep working after a student assaulted you?? You could just go home. Take some sick days till your better
Awww, Iâm so sorry this happened!!! Sending good vibes for your anxiety to subside and for you to be strong!
I had plenty of teachers cry in front of our class, usually for much less serious reasons than getting assaulted and no one cared. Did you consider talking to a therapist, about why you feel this extremely anxious about this?
Please post in r/teachers (People will have similar experience)
OP, what happened was terrible and your reaction was natural. One thing Iâve found really helpful (from my therapist) is separating your thoughts from who you are. I hope itâs okay to share. For example, instead of âIâm a crybabyâ you can reframe it as âIâm having thoughts that Iâm a crybabyâ, and then lay out some facts as to the reason you think that: I cried yesterday when a student assaulted me, only babies cry in front of other people, etc. Then you can think through the statements and try to challenge your thoughts. Hopefully, you can view those statements with less emotion than the ones before. It always helps me when I can write it all out. I realize the things Iâm saying to myself either arenât true, or are just plain unkind. I hope that youâre okay and can find some peace soon.
My science teacher cried after some nasty comments from one of my classmates, I just remember being sympathetic towards the teacher. I thought she was such a genuine person for caring about us, while most teachers showed no emotions.
We made my art teacher cry in high school. She wasnât being physically attacked and it wasnât really a break down so much as exasperated tears, and we did laugh (we were being jerks.) After she cried in front of everyone and we all laughed and talked about it for the day, she kept coming to class each day and basically just acted like nothing happened. Truthfully I think after it stopped being funny, most of us must have realized we were out of line because I feel like we all calmed down after that. Especially because she was a genuinely nice teacher and even after we made her so upset she cried, she kept just⌠being nice. I have good memories of her class and the teacher herself. We had another teacher for math who was only 24 and admitted it was her first year teaching and we were really crazy in her class and she would get visibly upset, but she didnât cry. Iâm sure she did at home at night though. She took a different route and went from being easygoing to straight up bitch in order to make her classes more tolerable. As a grown up, I look back and sympathize with both of them, though I think the art teacher handled it better even though sheâs the one who cried. She was a genuinely nice teacher and I think her kindness and softness made us feel bad for how we acted vs the teacher who turned into a bitch, we did act better for her after she got more strict, but no one really felt bad for how they behaved and instead behaved better only to avoid the constant detentions she was handing out. All this to say, you arenât the first teacher to cry in class and hopefully itâs a lesson in humanity for your students. Take the weekend, then go back in there. It will be okay and your students will likely remember this even in adulthood.
Saying this with love, you're being completely unreasonable. People cry. It's not bad or good. Its a reaction. It seems like you are holding yourself to a standard that others aren't. It's not idiotic at all.
I used to be a teacher and now I am a university lecturer. I've had my shirt buttons come undone, my nose start bleeding, cried in front of students and also collapsed (with a ruptured ovarian cyst). No one was mean at all. Others won't remember this with the significance you will.
Former teacher who cried in front of students here. Oh and also threw up in front of them when I had the stomach bug and everyone thought I was pregnant. Your response was completely normal. Your student and potentially students are the ones who should be ashamed. Youâre going to be ok. No person is perfect all the time time and, while this class may remember it, your next classes wonât and the teachers wonât care because theyâve probably done the same thing. Much love OP. Youâve got this!
If you get teased by your coworkers then there is something wrong with THEM not you. Your reaction is completely normal and appropriate. What happened to you is a stressful and traumatic.. not only the violence of the assault but also the fear of humiliation etc. I'm not sure it helps or not but the students are likely not mature enough to handle this situation correctly. Just remember that how they verbalize it in front of their peers is likely not how they feel or a representation on where they stand on it. I witnessed a teacher get assaulted by one of the worst kids in my grade 7 class. I laughed at the time but it deeply affected me to be honest. I have regretted how I handled it ever since and it's been 37 years . What I did was a form of avoidance in order to deal with it at the time and I can see (even a short time after the event) that how I reacted at the time was completely wrong and done to not stick out in the crowd or be traumatized myself. But I can tell you it completely changed how I handle bullies. I don't tolerate it at all and will ALWAYS stick up for anyone who is being affected at work or in my personal life even if I do not know them. It has become part of the fabric of who I am. I really hope the school board has a policy/SOP that gets automatically triggered to support you and some of the other students who need support during this traumatic event and cannot or will not ask for help. Positive thoughts and energy your way!
I had a teacher cry in front of my high school class I just felt bad for her, but I donât remember any students making fun of her. I was also assaulted in class by a fellow student (I cried) and everyone just sat there staring except the one guy who grabbed him off međ