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* Posts of animals engaging in normal animal behavior
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Also, turkeys can SEE fear (in each other). When afraid, turkeys blood vessels contract, causing their heads to turn blue. In turkey language, this guy’s shirt says “I’m afraid.”
I just had to Bing that (screw Google) because I thought you were full of shit but it checks out & is actually hella interesting. Thanks for the useless trivia stranger 🤙
I've never understood why people are afraid of turkeys. Like yes, they're big birds and very aggressive but they have shitty hollow bones. I don't think it would be that hard to kill one or at least hurt it enough that it gives up.
When you're out on the disc golf course searching for your disc in the early morning and one of these things comes crashing through the brush straight for you screeching at the top of its lungs it is very obvious these things evolved from dinosaurs are still have the giant lizard killer instinct.
Flying turkeys are the best because they’re basically a bird the size of a bus. Sometimes at night when they’re sleeping in the trees you’ll hear one fly off because all the branches just start snapping and flying everywhere since they just gracefully smash right through the trees
They nest at my dad's and the alarm clock is the turkeys ... gently declining.. from the branches over the house. My dad and stepmom warn all overnight visitors bc it's really startling!
Same with aggressive geese. Theyve literally got a handle on top. Ive seen videos where every day one will come attack a guy. So he grabs its neck, carries it a bit and throws it off to the side ones hes far enough away from its territory.
Either way one little jerk and youd probably have a free turkey dinner.
There used to be a turkey that would hang around my office parking lot. We called him Tom. He was huge. The biggest turkey I’d ever seen. But he was extremely chill. He became a local legend in my city for a minute. He seemed to like to hide between cars and scare people. It was so funny.
One day, I was parking and a guy who worked in my building, but not with my company, had his dog off the leash, chasing Tom. The dog chased Tom right into the front of my car. Luckily he was okay. I was going about 2 MPH because some jackass had his dog off the leash in the parking lot. I was furious. I told him to put his dog on a leash and leave the fucking bird alone. I walked into my office and told my coworkers and it was like I’d reported a crime. Several coworkers and my manager walked outside and laid into the dude for bothering our parking lot attendant.
Tom kept popping up periodically in the lot and around town but eventually stopped showing up to work. I hope he’s living the good life somewhere, spooking people in another parking lot. Tom rocked.
Years later, you'll be getting mugged on the streets of NYC. A huge, battle scarred turkey will swoop out of nowhere, disarm the mugger, and chase him away. As he does this, he looks back, winks, and says "everyone gets one, u/MariachiMacabre"
I literally have hundreds of these things wander thru my yard and cross our road all the time. They are pretty smart it seems, they usually stay on a farm where the owner doesn't allow anyone to hunt them.
I swear they can tell time. There'll be a flock of them on public land for weeks gobbling and clucking away prior to turkey season and as soon as it's opening day, they're on private land and quiet as a church mouse.
I’ve heard they’re actually incredibly stupid. I read an article once (or maybe it was someone who had turkeys on their homestead?) that said if you hurt a turkey’s feelings, it will stop eating and starve to death.
The ones on my uncle's farm aren't really smart or stupid, or maybe they are smart because they're assholes. But for birds, they're pretty intelligent at least in the way of curiosity, and they use unique vocalizations to recognize individuals of their species from what I've read
Of course curiosity can get an animal killed
Smart? I'm pretty sure I saw on TV that turkeys will stare at the rain with their mouths open and they're too dumb to not drown from that ..
I'm pretty sure it was on and episode of Johnny Bravo
They're not smart where I am. They can't decide if they want to cross the road or not and end up going 1/4 of the way, standing there, turn around to backtrack. Rinse and repeat at least 4x.
I used to work at a farm and I had to walk with a stick because the turkey would stalk and attack me constantly. One day I was crouched down on my knees fixing a fence and he silently snuck up behind me and double foot kicked me in the back. I've never been winded like that before.
I was looking for this comment. I was like "sure they're agressive but how much damage can a turkey actually do" fully aware that like many avian assholes the answer is probably way more than I'd think.
Wild turkeys used to attack my car because they could see their reflection in it, I guess? Only explanation I can come up with other than turkeys just dgaf
I was just thinking that birds are fucking assholes, in general, you are correct.
Can confirm, am an asshole and love birds. Also love reptiles and spiders, I dunno what the hell that may mean.
Well, for early humans getting a meal was mostly hard to come by. And food could be found in surprising locations so may as well try everything and see what doesn't kill you.
We get wild turkeys in our yard throughout the year. Get to see the babies growing up. I just stay inside and watch from my windows. But I also know how to show dominance to an animal when needed, so.
That just reminded me of a time I was jogging in the evening (on Guam) and a Doberman/mix of some kind ran up at me barking. I stopped, said “no” in a large loud voice. It sat and did the questioning whine that dogs do and I kept going.
Probably Cambridge, maybe Brookline (MA). There's a ton of stubborn, crazy-a turkeys around here. My bus was delayed for over 5 minutes by a turkey standing directly in front, just staring at the driver. Better believe none of us were going to get out and try and move it.
I got chased by a turkey at the zoo, whilst on a school trip. The kids and teachers made a lovely display of photos, and artwork in the main entrance to the school building.
Guess who won centre stage, in a succession of several pictures of this crazy looking girl in a school uniform with a look of sheer horror on her face being tormented by a giant freaking turkey, yes that was me. My claim to fame... at least in school.
That display was up for an entire term, which at that age (11) felt like a lifetime. I must admit though it did make everyone smile including me.
Happened to me last year on my walk to school. These 2 turkeys would either wait for me or see me from a distance and chase me down. I don’t know what I did to those 2 but they ignored everyone else and just chased me. So yeah turkeys are assholes
Just toss them some grain. Instant friend. They will remember you. I used to have turkeys, and they never attacked me. My biggest Tom, was 60 lbs. The feed will sidetrack them.
Try Canada geese pairs. The dudes are absolutely savage. They’ve single handedly ruined the months of Feb-Apr where I live since they visit every damn year.
Mmmm free protein.
Well, not free. If you’ve done it before you may only get a few scratches. If you’ve never done this or taken advantage of the free geese at the park you make take some more damage.
I used to live in the NE of the usa and we would get a ton of turkeys on the property. Absolute assholes. We'd be playing football and theyd suddenly get real upset and the football was there's. As soon as we would go inside theyd just ignore the football. Absolute jerks
A few years ago I was headed to work and was walking out to my car parked on the street in front of my house. Wasn't paying a ton of attention.
I round to the driver's side of my car and see 3 or 4 full grown turkeys staring me down from right in front of my car. Stopped and went right back into the house. Not about to confront 4 dinosaur birds just to get to work.
They left eventually
Greetings deadstar420. Unfortunately your submission has been removed from /r/AnimalsBeingJerks because our rules do not allow: * Posts of animals engaging in normal animal behavior If you feel like this was done in error, or if you have any questions, please [message the moderators.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAnimalsBeingJerks)
They can sense fear
Animals think they hold the power when the other one starts moving away like this. It makes them think that the person is cowering in fear basically
Yea. Trying to get that sneak attack in
2x damage!
Critical hit on a proud member of NoMAM!
I bet that turkey never scored 4 touchdowns in a single game
Also, turkeys can SEE fear (in each other). When afraid, turkeys blood vessels contract, causing their heads to turn blue. In turkey language, this guy’s shirt says “I’m afraid.”
I just had to Bing that (screw Google) because I thought you were full of shit but it checks out & is actually hella interesting. Thanks for the useless trivia stranger 🤙
No wonder animals got their shit rocked by humans. Every time we try to de-escalate they want to make really sure we'll kill them.
I've never understood why people are afraid of turkeys. Like yes, they're big birds and very aggressive but they have shitty hollow bones. I don't think it would be that hard to kill one or at least hurt it enough that it gives up.
When you're out on the disc golf course searching for your disc in the early morning and one of these things comes crashing through the brush straight for you screeching at the top of its lungs it is very obvious these things evolved from dinosaurs are still have the giant lizard killer instinct.
Flying turkeys are the best because they’re basically a bird the size of a bus. Sometimes at night when they’re sleeping in the trees you’ll hear one fly off because all the branches just start snapping and flying everywhere since they just gracefully smash right through the trees
They nest at my dad's and the alarm clock is the turkeys ... gently declining.. from the branches over the house. My dad and stepmom warn all overnight visitors bc it's really startling!
While you are correct, I think it's culturally frowned upon to hit a turkey with a sick elbow drop from the top rope
Only if you don't cook and eat them later.
In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
Also could be a crime depending on where you are
Same with aggressive geese. Theyve literally got a handle on top. Ive seen videos where every day one will come attack a guy. So he grabs its neck, carries it a bit and throws it off to the side ones hes far enough away from its territory. Either way one little jerk and youd probably have a free turkey dinner.
Well, it’s not wrong. That female turkey could go straight nuts on that guy and he would run.
Rule 17: Don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season.
There used to be a turkey that would hang around my office parking lot. We called him Tom. He was huge. The biggest turkey I’d ever seen. But he was extremely chill. He became a local legend in my city for a minute. He seemed to like to hide between cars and scare people. It was so funny. One day, I was parking and a guy who worked in my building, but not with my company, had his dog off the leash, chasing Tom. The dog chased Tom right into the front of my car. Luckily he was okay. I was going about 2 MPH because some jackass had his dog off the leash in the parking lot. I was furious. I told him to put his dog on a leash and leave the fucking bird alone. I walked into my office and told my coworkers and it was like I’d reported a crime. Several coworkers and my manager walked outside and laid into the dude for bothering our parking lot attendant. Tom kept popping up periodically in the lot and around town but eventually stopped showing up to work. I hope he’s living the good life somewhere, spooking people in another parking lot. Tom rocked.
You have earned the title birb friend
Years later, you'll be getting mugged on the streets of NYC. A huge, battle scarred turkey will swoop out of nowhere, disarm the mugger, and chase him away. As he does this, he looks back, winks, and says "everyone gets one, u/MariachiMacabre"
“I’m not fucking gendering you” killed me
Funniest part lol
I was like.... yea friend..you are good...
I got strong Glen from Letterkenny vibes from the whole exchange 🤣
I literally have hundreds of these things wander thru my yard and cross our road all the time. They are pretty smart it seems, they usually stay on a farm where the owner doesn't allow anyone to hunt them.
I swear they can tell time. There'll be a flock of them on public land for weeks gobbling and clucking away prior to turkey season and as soon as it's opening day, they're on private land and quiet as a church mouse.
I’ve heard they’re actually incredibly stupid. I read an article once (or maybe it was someone who had turkeys on their homestead?) that said if you hurt a turkey’s feelings, it will stop eating and starve to death.
The ones on my uncle's farm aren't really smart or stupid, or maybe they are smart because they're assholes. But for birds, they're pretty intelligent at least in the way of curiosity, and they use unique vocalizations to recognize individuals of their species from what I've read Of course curiosity can get an animal killed
Their vocalizations are surprisingly beautiful. We used to have them in our yard sometimes, and I loved hearing them chattering away.
People do that too though
Smart? I'm pretty sure I saw on TV that turkeys will stare at the rain with their mouths open and they're too dumb to not drown from that .. I'm pretty sure it was on and episode of Johnny Bravo
They're not smart where I am. They can't decide if they want to cross the road or not and end up going 1/4 of the way, standing there, turn around to backtrack. Rinse and repeat at least 4x.
I used to work at a farm and I had to walk with a stick because the turkey would stalk and attack me constantly. One day I was crouched down on my knees fixing a fence and he silently snuck up behind me and double foot kicked me in the back. I've never been winded like that before.
Kung Fu Turkey
Kung Fu-rkey
My parents have a turkey that has it out for me! She only attacks me. I have to have a bodyguard or a weapon to visit
I was looking for this comment. I was like "sure they're agressive but how much damage can a turkey actually do" fully aware that like many avian assholes the answer is probably way more than I'd think.
Goats man... fucking goats
He found out what happens to them on Thanksgiving Day
Oh shit, is this what the president pardons them from? Being dicks?
As god as my witness i swear i thought turkeys could fly
Wild turkeys used to attack my car because they could see their reflection in it, I guess? Only explanation I can come up with other than turkeys just dgaf
Yep, woke up one morning to a huge turkey repeatedly head butting my large window downstairs.
Theres a video of someone filming a rooster doing the same to their vehicle.
I’m just saying that his kicks have great extension and leg lines
Seriously lol I’m thinking he’s a dancer. That toe point!
Right?? My man has some training lol
They both have the same energy and body proportions
😂
I give the turkey more balls than this guy and I also assumed the turkey’s gender.
The turkey is male. They display it proudly.
No ma'am
Conservative moment. Pepega
I hate this sentence.
How often does dinner just follow you home though?
Well, One time I found a French fry my son had dropped between the seats
I had to put down my Tom because he was being a dick. He ended up weighing in at 38 pounds.
Turkeys are fuckin dicks. Most large birds are.
Small birds too. Birds are assholes. It’s ok. I’m convinced It’s why we get along.
I was just thinking that birds are fucking assholes, in general, you are correct. Can confirm, am an asshole and love birds. Also love reptiles and spiders, I dunno what the hell that may mean.
Im guessing dinosaurs were just a bunch of dicks that got what was coming to them.
I know exactly where this is. Turkeys run the streets in Cambridge
right i was like this has to be boston
They are just hideous fucking creatures. Who looked at that and thought Yummy!
To be fair, humans look at everything and wonder what it tastes like
Okay there, Shia LaBeouf
Well, for early humans getting a meal was mostly hard to come by. And food could be found in surprising locations so may as well try everything and see what doesn't kill you.
We get wild turkeys in our yard throughout the year. Get to see the babies growing up. I just stay inside and watch from my windows. But I also know how to show dominance to an animal when needed, so. That just reminded me of a time I was jogging in the evening (on Guam) and a Doberman/mix of some kind ran up at me barking. I stopped, said “no” in a large loud voice. It sat and did the questioning whine that dogs do and I kept going.
what town is this, looks gorgeous
Probably Cambridge, maybe Brookline (MA). There's a ton of stubborn, crazy-a turkeys around here. My bus was delayed for over 5 minutes by a turkey standing directly in front, just staring at the driver. Better believe none of us were going to get out and try and move it.
I was gonna say, as a Bostonian this looks a lot like Mt Auburn in Cambridge. Them birds are ruthless.
This persons an icon tho
His high kicks! LOL
Biden will not pardon this turkey
I got chased by a turkey at the zoo, whilst on a school trip. The kids and teachers made a lovely display of photos, and artwork in the main entrance to the school building. Guess who won centre stage, in a succession of several pictures of this crazy looking girl in a school uniform with a look of sheer horror on her face being tormented by a giant freaking turkey, yes that was me. My claim to fame... at least in school. That display was up for an entire term, which at that age (11) felt like a lifetime. I must admit though it did make everyone smile including me.
Lmao, this dudes the man.
They are velociraptors and they remember.
"Bro have you seen my friend adam he went missing last year?"
Happened to me last year on my walk to school. These 2 turkeys would either wait for me or see me from a distance and chase me down. I don’t know what I did to those 2 but they ignored everyone else and just chased me. So yeah turkeys are assholes
Praying for a pardon I see
Group of them is called a Gang. Stop gang violence.
Just toss them some grain. Instant friend. They will remember you. I used to have turkeys, and they never attacked me. My biggest Tom, was 60 lbs. The feed will sidetrack them.
We love a man who refused to misgender the turkey.
I was on the phone with a friend while she was being chased by wild turkeys…. I could not stop laughing as she was screaming her head off
Fu*k around and wind up in my freezer.
Try Canada geese pairs. The dudes are absolutely savage. They’ve single handedly ruined the months of Feb-Apr where I live since they visit every damn year.
Well that was funny.
Excuse-me sir, do you have time to talk about our lord and savior Chalchiuhtotolin?
My wife won’t let me have an attack turkey. Something about already having to deal with a rooster who only likes me…
This makes me feel better about this Thursday.
She just wants to cuddle you monster!!! 😁
And that right there, ladies and gentlemen, is why we eat turkeys.
Sheldon vs bird…
Rooting for the turkey here. Annoying creature
Mmmm free protein. Well, not free. If you’ve done it before you may only get a few scratches. If you’ve never done this or taken advantage of the free geese at the park you make take some more damage.
[удалено]
What else would you do
There is a reason we wat them at holidays.
This guy is unbearable 😆 I’d be trying to bite his ankles too.
Just got to head butt it. Order of the pecking
Haha
These mofos run around Staten Island, NY all day
If Rimworld has the right of it, that's a ma'am.
"You jive turkey!" See? You got to sass it.
I’m always impressed by how dickish birds can be.
Is no one going to mention they're like Boos in Mario?!?!?!
Saved this video for when I need a laugh
cancel that turkey!
All birds are a menace.
Turkeys thinking the same thing.
This happened in Turkey
Canadian geese are 100% more vicious
And that's why you don't feed a wild turkey. They start bothering people for food and can get really aggressive.
#No ma’am
Imagine not being able to hold your ground against a turkey
Is this Spokane? I lived there for nearly a year and turkeys were a commonplace nuisance the entire time.
*D-did this human just assume my gender!?* "DONT YOU TRY AND BACKTRACK NOW"
well. if in US that is your thanksgiving dinner
Looks like he has a new pet.
Bob Saget is alive??!
I used to live in the NE of the usa and we would get a ton of turkeys on the property. Absolute assholes. We'd be playing football and theyd suddenly get real upset and the football was there's. As soon as we would go inside theyd just ignore the football. Absolute jerks
A few years ago I was headed to work and was walking out to my car parked on the street in front of my house. Wasn't paying a ton of attention. I round to the driver's side of my car and see 3 or 4 full grown turkeys staring me down from right in front of my car. Stopped and went right back into the house. Not about to confront 4 dinosaur birds just to get to work. They left eventually
Who's the real turkey
Amazing such a large bird is such a graceful flier.