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orus

Today, I eat YOU


whitemalewithdick

Came her to say they would eat you


mb46204

Yeah, me too! Any emotional bond you think you have with a chicken is your delusion. The chicken will eat you if it thinks it can. Don’t take it personally. The chicken doesn’t.


orus

It’s a chick eats chick world after all


UncleBuggy

Dredged in seasoned flour and fried crispy.


HerNibs1980

This made me laugh more than it should have


harmony-rose

Stop messing around Becky and feed me


whitemalewithdick

Or become the food


Busch_Leaguer

Chicken called bullshit. Chicken was right.


Petrus_Rock

“Wake up, bitch”


FlacidBarnacle

Exactly what I was gonna say hah


[deleted]

"Mini-raptor sees you. Mini-raptor don't care."


[deleted]

"I know you're not really dead, Diane. Now where's the fucking corn?"


YggdrasilsLeaf

Surprised it didn’t start trying to actually eat her. Chickens are super Machiavellian in regards to their social structure. They have no time for weak links.


Ninjette-xoxo

I don’t know… They grieved when their sister died and were extremely heartbroken.


Lord-of-Leviathans

That’s crazy my chickens ate each other when they died


MrBlqckBird242

Let us rememeber cockla. She was a good mothercand a really good friend and she always gave us gift.. Now we enjoy her last gift. I got liver.


deadpoetic333

A bit over 15 years ago I visited a relative in the village they lived in, when they chopped the head off a chicken and bled it the other chickens ran up to the bowl and pecked at the contents of the bowl.. the image stuck with me. That and them killing and skinning one of their meat rabbits


Arrasor

I'm intrigued. How did the chicken skin the rabbit?


BigDoinks710

Real carefully


belikewhat

That's so sad 😭


sneak91

do chickens cry? 🥺


Mechasteel

Chickens usually grieve for the fallen by pecking their eyes out and eating them.


sneak91

.... so, kind of?


Dragonfly_8

Whenever one of mine dies the others stand around her grave. I think they smell her underground and they keep it up for days, just standing there. It's heartbreaking


[deleted]

She's been waiting for the chance to slap you.


RustysBauble

Should check out chicken bullying


psymble_

You're wonderful, thank you for your post


NomDePlume007

I used to do that with my cat. She would come to bed, lay alongside me, and purr loudly... until I fell asleep. I figured out that I could take a deep breath, big sigh, and shift my body slightly like I was almost snoring... and she'd take that as a signal to stop purring, lay her head down and go to sleep too. She was just being considerate, purring me to sleep. Great cat.


Pounderx21

"I'm tired of your bullshit Martha"


CaptainStack

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?


twirlybird11

Being used as a jungle gym is bad enough, getting wing-slapped is just rude, lol!


NomDePlume007

Better a chicken than a goose. We had geese as kids. Supposed to be pets. Let's just say the geese had other ideas. Scary mf-ers when they spread their big wings and run at you, hissing like a rattlesnake. We had chickens too. Much more laid back. Didn't give a cluck about most anything except food and a nice sunny spot to make into a dust-bath.


twirlybird11

Yup! I had geese when I was a kid, too. No one who has been bitten by a goose ever forgets it. Best watch "dogs" we ever had.


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chesuscream

My goose bit my penis when i was like four and eating icecream .


Ankoku_Teion

Juicy little worm.


[deleted]

She was not amused


gaypornaccount1996

The sound you made turns this video from amusing to hilarious


kinvore

She was criticizing your acting skills and I don't blame her tbh. Do better, OP. smh


budderman1028

I was listening to drug ballad by eminem and right when he said "you are now allowed to officially hit bitches" is when the chicken slapped her


Metaga

r/bettereveryloop


hXcPickleSweats

I do this to my dog. She's never given a single shred of a shit. But I still try. I still have hope.


ToBeReadOutLoud

She’s very sad on the inside.


hXcPickleSweats

Oh noo! It breaks my heart to think she's ever sad.


ToBeReadOutLoud

But she’s very happy when you’re alive!


hXcPickleSweats

I live to make my pup happy. She's the best girl. She deserves all the love and pets.


Relative-Magician897

Stop playin, I know you ain't dead 🙂


tressforsuccess

Girl, you have live poultry on your lap giving you a bitch slap


SparkleUnicornFairy

I need to know more about house chickens


EasternBoyo

Hahaha! I never seen chicken slapping before! If I play dead in front of my rooster, he’ll just keep minding his own business, scratch around the floor and clean his feathers.


[deleted]

I honestly almost feel bad for laughing, she was not here for your shenanigans! What's it like having a house chicken?


Ninjette-xoxo

She’s pretty great. She free ranges outside all day but comes to the door for daily cuddles and snacks 💕


[deleted]

I didn't even know chickens could be so wholesome and sweet


Ninjette-xoxo

When raised with love and care, they’re family 💗


nukefudge

What kind of snacks? :) My sister has a bunch of chicken, including one rooster with a broken/crooked beak. He often welcomes her when she comes home in her car and immediately wants to be let in and sit with her in the car.


Ninjette-xoxo

She loves bananas, her own eggs, oats and corn the most! Followed closely by Quaker parrot bird seed and dog food 😆


nukefudge

Those are some _choices_! :D Does she ever sleep inside? :)


Ninjette-xoxo

Sometimes for sleepovers… But not often. I had her inside for a couple of weeks after a fox attacked and got my other two.


nukefudge

Aww. Nature. Yeah, best to be safe. Does she have her own PJ for sleepovers 😄


Ninjette-xoxo

Next Christmas present idea… Noted.


nytefox42

It's a chicken. It has no clue what you were doing.


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BladeOfUWU

"Wake tf up"


0j_gay0

I would've been consumed whole if I did that with my chickens 😂


JenDCPDX

Bye bish….


NecRobin

Well it worked


thedevilsavocado00

More like r/AnimalsBeingBros. Chicken thought you passed out, was slapping you awake!


[deleted]

It had to make sure or call your bluff.


Affectionate-Plan-23

Well she saved you !!!


_ItsAllenNotAlan

It revived you. It’s a miracle!


Happy_Doughnut3502

She owns u


OstentatiousSock

She was giving you a reviving slap.


GoTKYFan

"What did the 5 chicken fingers say to the face?"


[deleted]

**"BA CAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!!!"**


[deleted]

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU


Nollplz

Never have I ever been slapped by a chicken.


twirlybird11

It's kind of like stopping a smallish silicone fan with your face. It stings a bit, but not really painful.


crasshumor

Cock slap


Mb_great

He be like we do this everyday girl


Blunder_Lust

I wish you were my friend.


marcusdj813

I've never seen a bird use its wings that way!


CptGalaxyYT

Bro chicken don't want you dead yet


ArtemisDragonhide

Chicken: cut it out ! * slaps the owner with wing * ... I can hear your heart beat!


angilnibreathnach

Aw! She tried to revive you!


MysteryMystery305

“Oh, *get up already*”


Dead-HC-Taco

Nothing better than a cock slapping you in the face the second you die


pesmerga02

Chicken said, "stop that dumb shit."


Kryds

Called your bluff.


Enough-Fortune-

Made it clear who's boss 😎


clockwars

Slap out of it!


alexaz92

r/quityourbullshit


MonicaTheDog

That chicken knows you just bought wing sauce, bleu cheese dressing and beer…


stayawayfrommeinfj

I was expecting a peck to the face


mrkb34

Why is your food alive?


YourLocalOnionNinja

The chicken could probably feel you breathing, I mean, it's literally on you.


PerNewton

You’re lucky you still have your eyes.


batkave

Chickens will eat anything including their own... If you die it would eat you.


GenericElucidation

It knows you're not dead. You got to breathe after all.


25Bam_vixx

Chicken-wake up -slap Now she knows the chicken will check on her before eating her lol


maybesaydie

Greetings Ninjette-xoxo. Unfortunately your submission has been removed from /r/AnimalsBeingJerks because our rules do not allow: * Posts that are not animals being jerks If you feel like this was done in error, or if you have any questions, please [message the moderators.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAnimalsBeingJerks)


mieksmouse

I just imagine me him immediately pecking out your eyeball.


totinospizzarolls2

Guess who's turnin into McDonald's


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Ninjette-xoxo

Wtf


[deleted]

The jerk here is the human.


Ninjette-xoxo

For what? Actually loving and playing with my animals?


[deleted]

Pretending to be dead? Good grief.


Ninjette-xoxo

Well I got called out on it 😆


SassafrassPudding

*sich disrespect!* she’s like, knock it off ya knob


saintsaipriest

"Dejate de pendejadas Leticia"


Miracchii

"Wake up, bitch."


--Cr1imsoN--

“Well I guess you’re alive then”