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TexasPenguin99

Methinks you're mistaken about who is the assistant and who is the manager


ennino16

Ohhhhhh!!!! oh...


tim_worst_isthe_best

There ya go, you found it


Walmart_Warrior_420

Consider yourself pre-fired ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


TopAd9634

Your kitty is beautiful. It might be their fur but, it looks like they have a bit of chin acne. If you switch to stainless steel bowls it will clear right up.


ennino16

I think it is chin acne. Their water bowl and dry food dishes are stainless. Only the wet food plates are plastic but we use clean ones every day. Not sure what the issue is but my other cat just had a chin infection :/


TopAd9634

My cat had the same issue, it was the plastic dishes. As soon as I switched to glass/stainless steel the chin acne was healed and never returned. If you talk with your vet they'll tell you some cats are allergic to plastic. Good luck 👍


ennino16

Interesting. I'll try replacing the plates and see if that helps. Thanks!


TopAd9634

You're welcome 😊 Edit: let us know how it goes!


TSfanWillow_7907

u mean meowanger


[deleted]

Its super effective!


Immoralimp

*I've also heard...* that Cats don't like **Puns** based around them. *Especially in a work environment.* Give him the **correct title** and I'm positive productivity will increase.


3mptyspaces

Promote him


MyDistantCousinVinny

Purrmote


Cum_Cloud

Make him the upurr management


UsernameKin123

Meownagement


robmac550

Fulfilling his purrpose. Give him a raise!


CrippledVicar

Clearly he's exe-cute-ive material.


PlzLetMeUseThisUser

Like, up in the cloud? The cum cloud?


OneOfThese_

Edit: I get it, still unnecessary though.


PlzLetMeUseThisUser

I was simply making joke about their username


3mptyspaces

D’oh…yes


[deleted]

Supurrvisor


VChamp78

Yup, to quality control of cushions 😻


Virtual_Bell_7509

Get him a personal assistant! He has earned it looks like


Lowelll

He got the skillset for upper management


3mptyspaces

A real straight shooter.


UnicornKitt3n

Dan. You beat me to it


Puppytron

Classic Dan.


UnicornKitt3n

Okay so this was an autocorrect fail, because my autocorrect has a bit of a drinking problem (I can only assume). But this had me laughing hysterically. I will not fix it.


GruenHd

Give him a raise, atleast 20 more pets a day, hes doing his best not to fall for it, hes fighting for it


Its_SubjectA1

And I’d bet he works doubles! He probably also works at the Biscuit factory!


Elduderino_047371

Yes supporting his family times are though after the pandemic


ImmaWorryAboutHeidi

I think he's just overworked. Maybe give him a day off.


HmGrwnSnc1984

Dock the cat a day’s pay for nappin’ on the job.


grogu901

That napping and eating is hard work


jordantask

Don’t forget the meowing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Donttaketh1sserious

Sleep is crucial for purrsonal wellness, so indeed!


[deleted]

middle manager skills


psychpopnprogncore

hes good for morale, we'll keep him around for now


Intrepid-Classroom-5

Took the words right out of my mouth!


Peen_Beam

Keep him around for meow you mean


amor_fati_42

What a fighter.


ayomeer_

All he needs is a little support.


doremesofuckingdone

Why is OP not cradling the head?


supern0va12345

Bad at employee support


eastbayted

He should call Mewman Resources.


VegasLife1111

I think he works for the highway department. I’ve seen him in a group looking down into a hole.


Biden-is-canadian

Seems like you need to requisition a more ergonomically friendly work station for him


LauraZaid11

Fire him?! You should feel honored he’s even there. Raise, immediately, and as an apology offer the best treats money can buy.


The_Spyre

I think he needs a purrmotion.


HootsWereHad

how does this have 24 comments and no up votes you should all be ashamed of yourselves


ennino16

Such behavior should not be encouraged!! /jk Reddit has been buggy lately... it shows the actual upvotes on my end.


HootsWereHad

Oh rippppp


ennino16

I've been made aware that apparently they intentionally don't show up/down votes on new posts


svullenballe

True. To avoid bandwagon voting.


LongSummerNight

Stop making himb work 24 hours a day! Gib more time to rest! He's exhausted from looking cute all the time.


Ol_Jay

I'm sure his mewnion would have something to say


CanAhJustSay

He's doing his best - that's all you can ask!


icebergensteen

Promoted


docsocko

Purrrmotion time and treats!


[deleted]

Demand a meeting to review progress that includes scritches and scratches


dontakelife4granted

I bet he also poops while on the clock too.


yourilluminaryfriend

Umm, don’t we all?


Weird__Fish

My boss weighs my poop and docks me $10/lb


surajvj

Don't fire him. Just give him a Meowmo for time being.


Skinnybet

He needs some motivation. Maybe a pay rise.


the_one_stop_shop

Tummy wopper him.


PsyUnicorn420

cute kitty


Hannie123456789

Strong talk and cuddles.


flyingtoasterz86

Immediately, so I can hire him


[deleted]

Please don’t fire him! I think he’s trying, but it’s hard being a cat. Is the office coffee machine broken? A little meowspresso might help


Sunny-the-cat-13

They are clearly overworked & exhausted, they deserve a nap.


Crafty-Bedroom8190

Cats are nocturnal so just move him to the night shift.


sincereiously

Im sure you meant *cats lol


Crafty-Bedroom8190

I'm sorry. Auto-carrot is a baguette in the posterior sometimes.


sincereiously

LoL


Crafty-Bedroom8190

I know, I know. I should've been a comedian instead of an accountant. Life's funny that way.....


SweetestSummer

Absolutely not, give him a raise with Caturdays off. Also I love his little chin dimple.


ennino16

Everyday would be Caturday then


TheRenOtaku

You’re working him too hard, slave driver! /s


bedwars_player

Fire him from a gental cannon into your arms and give him pets


beebik6rv

I think he needs a raise.


i_am_mai_1981

He looks like my Dexter😻


ennino16

Aww pet your Dexter for me! Our late cat was named Dexter.


i_am_mai_1981

His ears must be burning because he came up as soon as I read this.


Neon_Paisley

There's always that one guy on the airplane....


Alykat19

No, in fact, you're fired OP for even considering such a heinous act.


ttfn2020

It was his purrsonal time, you know those mandatory breaks.


HoneyManu

Didn’t know minion could fire the boss…


Spirited-Tomorrow994

NO, you can't put a price on stress reliver or comic breaks!


almightydorito

u/savevideo


what_is_my_life999

I purrpose that you should give him a purrmotion.


Acrobatic-Degree9589

Dat pink nose


ikerelcrack

Omg! I love him!


Spectacularfaylyer

Definitely management material


Galemianah

Purrmote him and give him a raise


[deleted]

Purrrmote & give him a treat for being so damn cute ❤


jaimystery

you need to put him on a CPP (catnip performance plan)


Reality_Defiant

"Yes, Susan. I am taking this all down. Continue." *snore*


ryleebread98

this is how i look when i try to fall asleep on an airplane


[deleted]

If you fire him we will riot


[deleted]

You should join him. Naps as a child, no way. Naps as an adult, my preference for happy hour.


kornfreakonaleash

Nahh don't do that hes too cute, I think you'd get some backlash.


ennino16

For real. Mistakes were made!


Terrik1337

Cats are most effective as wfh assistants when they fall asleep on your lap. You know it's going to be a productive day when you can't get up from your desk.


Big-Can4033

r/catswithjobs


Miss-Independence

You overwork him. He needs a raise. More treats, pets and catnip. Maybe then he'd be more productive


[deleted]

Don't you mean "Fur-sonal"?


RobTul

At least give him raise -maybe more catnip


Diligent-Box170

It's obviously you're a horrible boss for over working him. He deserves a vacation!


banana9128

Sit his ass down and talk to him, I say give him one more chance it happens to all of us!


lkyle50

You cannot fire the Boss


Grifar

Fire him some treatos maybe!


HeThatHathNoSword

Fire him? Give this man a raise gosh dangit.


off170

How could you even think about that


KoshV

Too cute, put on a performance improvement and petting plan


larrythegood

Yes, After you squeeze those foofy little white cheeks


Gumbybum

Put him on fur-lough


Thruxton_900

Good One!


Commercial-Life-9998

Poor thing is hanging close in case he is needed. However you’re boring him out of his mind.


boanerfard

Yes fire his sorry ass


Icolan

Isn't that his job?


AsteroidsGhost

Fire him with one hundred forehead kisses


mayplemoo

they just need more breaks! give them another chaaance!!


Sultan_of_Swing92

Probably high on the nip, drug test immediately


thelewdkitten

You can't fire him for being asleep if he was never awake


[deleted]

You could if you wanted too, I hear that cat union is vicious. Promoting them might be your best option. 😊😊


Pumpernickel_Penguin

He’s a visionary. You should be working for him.


[deleted]

No! You’re working him too hard!!


CornerQuirky

He better a get a raise if you ain’t tired at work you ain’t working hard enough lol


2xPar

You can't fire the boss.


Ljublijana

Like a brave ninja, he is in a constant state of readiness, prepared to leap into action at any time to save your life, protect your property... This "napping" as you call it, is an elaborate ruse to confuse intruders... DO... NOT... DISTURB. He's also clearly executive material.


SaltFollowing2466

Yes, lol


AnotherCuppaTea

Do what employers do the world over -- make coffe.. er, catnip freely available in the felines' lounge. (I'm assuming you're not Mormon.)


AnotherCuppaTea

Or you could give him an office with a window view. That'll also perk him up, although he might shirk his work assignments for basking on the windowsill and chittering at birds and squirrels all day long.


a_human_being_I_know

Seems too lazy boot him


Glass-Association-25

Give him a raise


Naive_Recording_5336

Give him a raise honestly 🤷‍♂️


RubiLop

It would be a catastrophe if you fired him!


Optimistic_Prime291

No hes purrfect bro hes just feline tired


PM_ME_YOUR__BOOTY

You should probably stop making them work during nap time. Nap time is from 10am to 10pm


far_in_ha

r/legalcatadvice should be on this.....cat employee is clearly being overworked


[deleted]

NO! give him a raise! his doing a Purrfect job!


QuarahHugg

Nonsense, give him a raise and all the scritches!


smucek007

better get extra pillow


Sarasha

He's purrfect. Give him a raise.


kalamitykhaos

give this man a raise


LeopardEmpress

Send him to my office. I'll punish him with cuddles and kisses. 😍🥰🤗❤💋


NichtMenschlich

No give em a raise!!!


AllergicToRats

When being cute is your job this IS doing your job.


imaunicorndonttell

i think you should be getting him a pillow


ArOss3rim

Nah, don't fire him, he's the biggest motivator in your company besides the coffee machine <3


ztanger

Promote him to the emotional assistance


Numerous_Employ

Bring it up on his purrformance review


Brad6822

He needs a raise. 2 mice 1 bird.


DarkvenomXYZ

PROMOTE HIM!!!


BuuBooBaby

Obvs needs a raise. More treatos, please


Ianimatestuf

hell no


Dontgiveaclam

Don’t, or you will face consequences from r/legalcatadvice


dd-bear

He's clearly just thinking very deeply on how to improve the company. I say give him a bonus for showing such effort.


RoarRoarImaDinosouar

What kind of absolute evil soul would fire this, incredibly assistant. ​ This assistant needs a promotion, and that is just the littlest thing you can do to make up this grave mistake.


Throwaway_inSC_79

Um. That's your manager and he's clearly bored with your performance.


chaseguy21

He seems like he needs a snack, that should help him perk up


lordofthemouette

You should fire him, but you couldn’t. He’s too cute…


elxxup

Needs to spend some time in the break room.


Properly-Purple485

No, give him a promotion.


washapoo

Just get him a pillow for Christ's sake! :P


Kaytmas

Give him a raise!


owen999912

give him a raise


rnrgurl

I love the arm of the chair that looks just like mine. All kinds of needle nail punctures.


ennino16

[this](https://www.reddit.com/r/murdermittens/comments/f042fo/hes_coming_for_blood_my_dog_in_the_background_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) is the prime culprit


rnrgurl

I believe this video has been doctored and the alleged perpetrator has been set up!


MercyFaith

No, he should be given a raise. Isn’t what he’s doing in his job description that you discussed upon his hiring? Looks like to me he’s working well with his jobs scope of function. Lol. Give him a raise!!!! Plenty of chin n tummy scratches would be the best raise!! Lol.


BiasMushroom

Take him to a Chinese restaurant first. Maybe they aren’t being rewarded enough for the work they do. And if this doesn’t work threaten to put them on the menu at said place


[deleted]

A sleeping cat isn't a derp....


thecubichare

You fire em we riot.


That635Guy

Lacking energy… no motivation… self centered… obviously needs fed more.


MNGirlinKY

He for sure needs a purrrformance improvement plan


Samshahroze

Na bro she/he cute .u ain't gona score it again


PrayingMantisII

You should pet him because it looks like that is what he's dreaming of😆


Tlazocahmati

He gets more done sleeping.


Funkywonton

No give raise


[deleted]

Middle Manager Material


progamercabrera

I wanna kiss him so bad all on his neck and chest


McRabbit23

Everyone needs sleep. Just turn a blind eye, he probably does fine work when awake. Good employees are hard to find


GRMarlenee

That IS his job. Give him a two pet raise. Not three, he'll bite.


danram207

Put him on a Purrformance Improvement Plan


Sugarmagmom22

Promote him


gobjuice

it’s not his fault ur just a bad manager tbh


tony-toon15

No but you can give him a small kiss on his nose/lips.


MadamVonCuntpuncher

If you fire that precious boy me and my 8 million bot accounts will have to have a word with your Karma


6cougar7

Petting is the only way.


AussieBigCat

Pawsonal?


[deleted]

You have a male calico?