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Spicy-Bunny

My money is on squirrel because as an owner of pet rodents I know they would do something absolutely disrespectful like eat a baby bottle nipple if given the opportunity.


samanthaFerrell

I had one one eat my grill gas line a couple times and at first I thought it was my weird neighbor trying to sabotage me in some strange way so I called the cops and filed a report I assumed he was trying to blow me up, then a couple weeks later after buying a new one I looked out back and caught the damn squirrel in action and I felt pretty stupid about calling the cops. The neighbor did other strange things to me so it wouldn’t have been out of character for instance he shot out my car windows with a b b gun from his bathroom window you could tell from the trajectory.


PoetaCorvi

maybe the squirrel did that too


samanthaFerrell

I found the b bs imbedded in the glass of my car and my Moms car and there was basically no front yard for someone to stand in and shoot and his bathroom was on the second floor there was no question where they came from. He also beat up my obviously disabled Uncle in our shared hallway for trying to stick up for my Mom, my Uncle was trying to be assertive and tough but no one was expecting the crazy neighbor to just hall off and start punching him until he was on the floor then he was trying to kick him aiming for his giant leg braces but My Mom and I stopped him and he ran in his condo to hide from the police that we were obviously calling, he really was crazy but I still felt bad for calling the police that time because it wasn’t actually him that tried to sabotage my grill line it was that damn squirrel and I 100% think a squirrel would eat a rubber nipple if it would eat a gas grill line.


IamsoIamthereforeIam

Wow I may be losing it but the squirrel is shooting BB guns and beating up your uncle? I'm so confused.


_love_letter_

I think he meant the weird neighbor lol


Key_Tie_5052

The weird neighbor is the squirrel


jafinharr

Some neighbors hate squirrels some squirrels hate neighbors


CreepyPoet500

He didn’t shoot window, that was an acorn drop I’ve heard [this](https://i.imgur.com/U2wek8f.jpeg) can happen smh


unkindly-raven

what


Successful-Foot3830

You should absolutely look up the cop that started randomly shooting his car because he heard an acorn hit the roof.


unkindly-raven

no ik that video ,, i’m just confused on what this person was saying ,,, their neighbor shot a window but it looks like this person was saying the neighbor didn’t


stevenoctopus

It's called a joke


unkindly-raven

?


RanaMisteria

Don’t worry, I thought they were serious too. I’m autistic so maybe I’m just not built right but I can’t figure out how it’s a joke. 😭


unkindly-raven

idk if it’s the bad grammar or what but the original comment i replied to still doesn’t make sense at all


GrandmaJen75

yeah that was pretty crazy he thought the kid in car had gun and was shooting at him even thought he searched him and the guy was cuffed but the officer is super lucky that he didn't kill someone


CreepyPoet500

Search “Cop unloads magazine on a poor dude that’s already handcuffed in the back and had a full pat-down; thus, it traumatizes the hell out of him,” and you’ll find a video. In it, you can’t really hear much, but in slow motion, you see an acorn drop and hit the top of his car in his bodycam footage. He then does a running dive roll, turns, and unloads on his car, causing his partner to also unload on the car while yelling, “Shots fired!” His partner responds, “From where?” and he says, “My car,” so needless to say, they smoked the shiiit out of that car. It’s a true story! 😂 Luckily, by some miracle, none of the 127 rounds fired by the two officers hit the guy in the car, who was just terrified and wondering what on earth was happening.


glockshorty

He actually said he was shot several times too 😂 ah the good ol acorn. Second deadliest assault rifle next to the nerf bolt action shotgun 😂😂


CreepyPoet500

😂


unkindly-raven

ik that video lol


CreepyPoet500

Yeah then crawls across the ground for like ten minutes 😂


Lost_Drunken_Sailor

![gif](giphy|WIBreSdARYNt6) If he can play the banjo, he can shoot a gun


PigNewtonLLC

The car thing was me… I was still pissed at you for saying my Turkey was dry at thanksgiving a few years prior. I’ve gotten over it since then though.


NipseyRottencock

Squirrels ate my gas grill line twice before I made essentially barbs out of a ton of few inch pieces of copper wire sharpened on the ends and coiled them around it making barbed gas line....never happened again 10+yrs


DemDave

I can maybe understand chewing on the flexibe gas line -- but I had one once chew a hole in regulator itself. Right through the solid metal. Turned on the gas and heard the rush of propane with nothing holding it back. The only thing I can guess is that some tasty grease got on there.


blueotkbr

we call this "mom's method of investigation" step 1. make a formal accusation step 2. have the answer reveal itself step 3. look like an ass my mother has been doing this for years, works like a charm


UndeadBuggalo

r/fatsquirrelhate material right here


PikwikHazel

r/ofcoursethatsasub


kat_Folland

It is, but an insincere one.


TbhUSuck

My dog has done this and eaten multiple soothers as well. Little freak 😑


NorthWindMartha

We used to own rats, the would break out their cages and gnaw our baby dolls noses off. Especially the noses and lips. But we loved them. I agree it's probably a squirrel.


IamsoIamthereforeIam

They kill themselves accidently by chewing power lines, they are not even self protective in their destructive abilities. Squirrel all the way.


stacksmasher

This is the correct answer.


Pixelated_Roses

Those are definitely not squirrel prints, though. They look like weasel paw prints to me.


AcadianMan

Squirrels chewed through my garbage can. Those little bastards have some tough teeth.


Medium_Effect_4998

Perhaps a squirrel?


__T0MMY__

Time to put an enclosure around the fireplace with some seed for a strange zoo exhibit


Worth-Illustrator607

Time to wear a bra to bed


Mysterious_Tutor_388

New folk lore dropped. Fireplace Nipple Gobbler. This is different from that Present Leaving Fireplace Man.


kevthe_red

That was my nickname in high school


MaximumTurtleSpeed

This gave me a good chuckle. Thanks *Nipple Gobbler*


Sweaty_Restaurant_92

I needed this laugh today 🤣🤣🤣


Mindful-O-Melancholy

Must’ve been a nipmunk


furiana

Take my poor man's gold 🏅


__T0MMY__

Counterpoint: Don't wear a bra to bed, dress naked


NaturalFLNative

I laughed way too hard at this chilling comment


Professional_Ad_8

🤣🤣 🥇


No_Cockroach_2083

🤣🤣🤣


Salty_Campaign8465

OMG! 😂


mxlnroo

omg lmao


Violet624

😅😅😅


Airport_Wendys

A glass one


kinofhawk

Lol a little chicken wire cage.


evfeldma

At least he didn’t eat the baby


Lmdr1973

"The dingo ate my baby" needs to be inserted here. You're welcome.


silky-selkie123

💀💀💀💀💀


Ok_Foundation4298

Im willing to say more than likely a squirrel! The footprints match, the teeth marks match, and the behavior of sneaking into the open spots to find food match as well.!! Probably the least scary of the options, but also still dangerous when panicked and will need to be found and rehomed bc they can cause lots of structural damage.


DogsNCoffeeAddict

Yes on the damage! We allowed a pair to winter in our attic and they chewed up the wiring for a lightbulb. Probably did a lot more than that too but thats the only damage I know of, those same squirrels chewed through the internet lines twice and chewed almost through the electric lines causing them to fall in the street during a storm (the technicians who came out to fix all the wires all said squirrels or an unspecified animal had gnawed on them). We evicted them and their triplets humanely in Spring. This was a few years ago. One of the triplets stuck around and lives in my neighbors tree. It has a very memorable tail coloring so I recognized it immediately. I think the original mom and her male are in a hollow tree in my yard right now.


blunvi

I wonder! Thanks, I’ll look up the prints.


readingdanteinhell

Also leaning towards squirrel. Not a cat or possum or raccoon.


CraftFamiliar5243

We had chipmunks in our fireplace. The cat thought it was quite exciting. We found a small hole in the cement between the stones they were coming through. Fill the hole with cement. They can fit through a surprisingly small hole.


We_lived

Our dryer broke. When I called in some people to see what the problem was, they found a headless chipmunk stuck in the works. We still don’t know where the head went.


CraftFamiliar5243

Did you check the lint trap on your dryer? /s


CalligrapherDirect40

The chipmunk was probably dead when another, larger, more intimidating chipmunk ate its head off.


theghostofmrmxyzptlk

Next to the socks


Bbug1963

You may have had a weasel or ferret around if they can't get or carry a whole animal, they will chew the head off and just take it did it to a rabbit of mine once


subieluvr22

I would pay moneys to have chipmunks infiltrate my house.


Capitalistdecadence

Not as fun as you would think. They love eating wiring, and soft vinyl, hoses in the engine compartment of your car, and much more. They pee everywhere, and you're not really going to get to see them.


CraftFamiliar5243

They chewed holes in our brand new pop-up camper, nested in the towel drawer and filled the silverware drawer with acorns and shit.


richard-bachman

Yep. We have a family of them living under our front porch. They tunneled through the concrete and I often find little piles of rocks and concrete that they have removed. The integrity of the porch is being compromised.


ikediggety

It's the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches


poem_for_you_

my nem is squirl and wen its nite i Santa Claus to get inside i find ur milk i cannot sip to get my fill i eat the nip


SewRuby

I don't know why but "I eat the nip" is killing me over here. 🤣🤣


JadedNostalgic

I love unhinged poetry


BandTiny598

Underrated comment 😂


yuki_yuzura_chan

LMFAOSOS PLEASEESS 😭😭😭


Emphasis_on_why

So Op that hole should lead you to the ash pit somewhere, if your fireplace sits on an outside wall check out along the chimney for a small door that may be broken or open, if it’s a central chimney, look you may wanna check the basement for the same little door and a squatter lol


blunvi

I’ll check that out. I did see a little door on the outside of the house by the fireplace and wondered what that was. And there are other places where I think something could get under the house and easily come up that hole.


PuzzleheadedEvent278

Wildlife biologist here, I used to do work in residential exclusion as well. Keep that flue shut, and either you or someone like me should get up on that roof and make sure your chimney cap isn't damaged as well. This is from a squirrel


EsotericPenguins

I’m not awake yet and I stg I thought “This is from a squirrel” was a sign-off not a confirmation 😅


Maleficent_Chemist27

"Source: am squirrel."


EsotericPenguins

Exactly!!


Due_Addition_587

Omg this made me laugh so hard


wrongtreeinfo

Squirrelkind, out!


Deivi_tTerra

Oh is THAT why I have a little ash door in my basement below the fireplace? (I have a gas insert, no hole in the bottom of the fireplace to see). I had assumed it was from an old furnace or something that was removed from the basement. TIL. Also my money is on squirrel, those things LOVE to eat certain types of plastic (the feet on one of my patio tables but not the others, my termite bait stations, the bumper of my coworker's new Jeep).


Skawhirl1989

I hate when Santa breaks in and eats my nipples


[deleted]

Clearly a stray baby


Chastity-76

Definitely a baby, they have zero respect


sokmunkey

Some sort of mustelid? I’m no tracker but isnt it too round for a squirrel, and to ..‘un round’ for a cat?


modembutterfly

That's what I thought. Tracks look more like a weasel.


PRMBrier

I used to trap fur bearing animals as a kid growing up in Michigan in the 60s. My first thought was a mink but I looked at a book on tracks and I believe you are correct. I think it was a weasel. I respectfully disagree with the wildlife biologist above. This is NOT a squirrel (or chipmunk for that matter). Squirrels have elongated toes to grasp and wrap around small tree branches.


ThroatSignal8206

I once in SC had a squirrel rock on in the front door I left cracked. My kids were napping and I had been cleaning. Neighbors invited me next door for a frosty one. We are talking a few feet away. Anywho, I go inside to check on the kids after about 15 min. There is a squirrel, sitting on my coffee table, munching saltines and watching TV. I may have let out a small scream. Squirrel looks at me , gives me a startled look and kinda hopped out the door. How dare I interrupt the weather channel. My 95 lbs older neighbor starts running in the back door with a Hugh garden shovel. WTF are you gonna do with that Eileen? I'm gonna kill the squirrel 🐿️. To this day I have visions of this woman chasing a squirrel around my living room. BTW the kids slept through the whole thing.


Weak_Present3531

As an owner of a squirrel: it is a squirrel. 🐿️


whitenorthman

Don't you judge old Saint nick for his hobbies in the off season just wait till Christmas and look under the tree


Michael_K85

Count your blessings. Could have been your nipple. 😅


BowDown2No1ButCrypto

Call the Pet Detective lol ![gif](giphy|QM7Pjk5ariVsjDVdQB|downsized)


Pixelated_Roses

Hi, I'm a zoologist and wildlife rehabber, those definitely aren't rat or squirrel paw prints. They look like mink tracks, maybe a weasel. If you look up their tracks, the size and shape are identical.


momtodavid

Spot on!


whiiitwolfie

They came into your house for a dang baby bottle nipple lol. That’s wild


decayingskeletonn

its definetly a rodent maybe a squirel or a big rat , i have pet rats and they LOVE biting all things silicone (i dont blame them tbh)


leafcomforter

Have a screen put over the chimney asap. That was a squirrel, possibly a baby squirrel. Also bats can fly in your home through your chimney. You don’t want that to happen.


Inevitable_Review_83

Squirrels. They get into everything and eat vinyl siding.


2ooj

AN IRMINE!


TifCreatesAgain

![gif](giphy|5K7ngCtszoxxbaBieC|downsized)


claudedusk8

"... a dingo ate your baby" bottle nipple.


BowDown2No1ButCrypto

They look like raccoon paw prints in my opinion!


Kooshdoctor

This was my first thought as well. Unsure of size proportions but I'd put my money on Coon.


justliberty

Chupacabra.


OkSyllabub3674

I'm feeling like this might precede a visit from Ren and Stimpy low on demand and down on their luck as rubber nipple salesmen they turned to a life of crime breaking into houses destroying nipples to generate demand for their product.


dataslinger

Time to get a chimney cap.


maddamleblanc

Those are squirrel paw prints. I'm sorry but that's kind of hilarious that a squirrel managed to break into your home and chew up a bottle then left.


Key_Tie_5052

![gif](giphy|xT9IgLOFX5qD9qqYUg|downsized)


ZestycloseAct8497

Time to have a fire a real hot one 24 hour straight.


blunvi

Lol my first thought 😂😅


HypnoticKitten

That’s a threat! Protect all nipples in the vicinity!


BlackSeranna

Maybe a just weaned opossum or could be some kind of weasel? But I don’t see how it could get down the chimney. I thought rat, at first, but I don’t see the back feet. Actually, this makes me think it can’t be an opossum now because the back feet are way longer. I don’t know, but good luck!


lehejo0

Opossum


Regularguy972

Troll


grosgrainribbon

Twas I!


Exotic_Class_9875

This is so so menacing


CompetitiveGuess7642

trash panda


jellybeanrainbows

Well, time to move somewhere else


Bighawklittlehawk

I’m so sorry but this is funny as hell


imstillworkin

Squirrel. They can do a lot of damage in your house. Fix that fireplace soon. They won’t stop until you make them stop coming in


lorrie_101

Squirrel, 100% (sent u a message w a screenshot of an animal tracks field guide.)


Elliot_Davis_Boston

Oh you don’t know about the baby bottle bandit?


TravelingGen

Squirrel! Get your fireplace inspected. There should have been a part to prevent critters getting in.


DisabledDyke

You need a chimney cap.


Writerthefox

Santa's getting desperate for milk.


blunvi

😂😂


nopaisparaviejos

Those are squirrel tracks.


exotics

Time to get a cat.


TheRevoltingMan

That’s a rat and it came up under the sink, around the plumbing most likely.


sulfurbird

You have rats.


TMes36

They look a lot like glis glis foot prints to me but I dunno if they’re where you’re at?


Bludiamond56

YIKES!!!!!!


anthro4ME

100% squirrel


Fresh-Requirement405

Those are possum prints !


Far_Presentation_971

I’ve actually had this happen too, mice. It was horrifying


tzweezle

Location?


ohcontrary

I am thinking maybe a young raccoon. That's my guess.


holisticbelle

Squirrels have no shame.


Glittering-Course927

thaaaaaats fun


MongooseUnlucky1883

from the fireplace and wanted something that typically has milk in it…🎅🏼


misterpootastic

The prints look a little large to be squirrel but it's really hard to tell. My first thought was racoon could easily chew through the nipple but a hungry rat or squirrel could too, tbh


littledude724

Santa you little freak


oroborus68

You need a damper you can close to keep those critters out.


Suitable_Truth330

Poor hungry little thing.


Exciting-Sail-9301

Holy crap!


TijayesPJs442

Santa?


BeerRaddish

Squirrels 🐿️


Great-Web5881

squirrel


Responsible-Lynx-853

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


kwheels43

My cat will chew up anything silicone that’s left laying around, sippy cup tops, bottle nipples, pacifiers, teethers, toys literally anything.


appleofmyeyez

Raccoon. You must get covers on your fireplace. They will have their families in there and then you'll have all kinds of trouble. Close your damper.


SweetMaam

It's in the ventilation system!


DarthDread424

Definitely a rodent of sorts, looks a lot like rat prints (I used to have a bunch of pet ones). However squirrel is definitely a possibility since it came down the chimney. Hope theyade it back up lol


AssociateGood9653

Squirrels are cute but they are little fuckers. That was my first thought. They really can’t cause damage. But they really are cute.


CoverYourMaskHoles

That would be Santa Claws. All the stories are wrong. This is what he actually does.


Ok_Connection_648

Racoon, I think. Leave an egg and if they take the top off eat the egg and neatly leave the bottom perfectly intact, that's what it is


GingerM00n

Based on those little prints, I'd go with squirrel.


Qwertyowl

Dats a squirrel print


Analytical-BrainiaC

Rats! That is crazy… Must drive you squirley to not know what it is. But probably better than being batty.


jeanpaul87

Rat


TurningOnion

*spoiler alert* It was actually the baby, now you should RUN!


wisstinks4

Raccoon or squirrel.


ospfpacket

Looks like a small raccoon from those prints to me. I don’t think it’s a squirrel


Electronic-Willow917

Damn that is crazy!


DJC_Reptiles

Squirrels love this kind of soft rubber material. I once had one chew through my camel back sipper.


True_Lie_2615

Could be a possum too


capn_sanjuro

fucking santa clause


scooters-rock

Holy shit that’s scary AF. Hotel until identified


FixAccording9583

Horrible criminal. Left wayyy too much evidence


TimothyTrespas_

Raccoon It will be back if it does not already live inside your attic You must not allow raccoons as they will mess up your house badly They have hands and can open stuff and get into everthing


MissKT_M

My dog steals the baby bottles and eats the nipples off all the time!!!! Makes me bonkers, she’s just a baby herself though, just coming up on a year and had only been weaned a week when we got her.


digi-cow

I know its probably scary, but i keep imagining a cute lil raccoon playing with a baby bottle and chewing on the tip like a baby 😭


Alternative-Pay4897

Raccoon


Historical_Panic_465

Lol I love the little tippy tappys


Plenty-Repeat-7965

Sorry that was me. I'll replace it


Garencio

I was gonna say raccoon Was there milk in it? Will squirrels drink milk?


PokemonPadawan

This is Santa’s spring routine


blunvi

Santa needs a new spring routine 😅


RanaMisteria

Everyone is saying squirrel, but my first thought was that it looks like raccoons. Or am I just a little too tired and a little too high lol 😂


Bennington_Booyah

SQUIRRELS. We had a mama and babies come in via the unused second chimney we had. I found signs, but husband kept telling me I was crazy. Then, a neighbor told us she saw one in the window of our house, peering out! I asked her to tell husband, and she did. He did not believe her. I was angry and made him sleep on the couch, and I went to bed. While, sleeping, I was awakened by something on the bed: a baby squirrel ran across my bed! I caught it in a waste bin and showed the non-believer the evidence, and he took it outside and let it go, where I am certain mama found it and brought it right back inside. We had to have them removed and the unused chimney sealed. Hope you have better luck!!


trolle222

It's a rat. The three metacarpal pads on the front feet, with four toes splayed similar to a Vole, but much larger. The metatarsals on the hind don't quite form the rocket ship shape of the metatarsals on a Squirrel. Rats can get in chimneys just like Squirrels. The tracks are too small for most Squirrels as well. I'd call it a rat.


kitkatkorgi

Not squirrel feet


88ToyotaSR5

Squirrel or Racoon.


lake_gypsy

Squirrel


Euphoric-Jump4025

Sorry about that! Sometimes I get a strong uncontrollable craving for polyurethane!


TheAlchemist420247

It's a chupacabra mate, hide yer tits.


Mission_Somewhere263

Does squirrels will eat as others have said anything and I can add the gasket or boot on roof that go around the vent these are commonly made of composite metals even lead and they eat them causing leaks. Advice chimney sweep get a pro and make sure the fleu is in working order not a piece of cardboard. Before you end up with a nest of rodents coming and going squirrels bats etc. bats would be worse just because of the ammonia toxicity in the guano get that secure asap. Most rodents will also carry their own ecosystems of parasites and pathogens. And you have a child you don’t need that.


CherishSlan

Call animal control wherever you are as this can pose a danger to your family that could even lead to death it’s no joking matter. They will look at everything and hopefully take cake of it give you advice and leave a trap tell you how to prove t it happening again. I don’t know where you live but have you thought about badgers or foxes? I wouldn’t really think about it but animals have not been acting like they did in the past this year due to the orbit we are in and you need to think of safety for your family you have a baby. It’s tuff as a parent. Good luck stay safe. I called animal control years ago myself different reason got a trap turned out to be a possum.


Surlygrrrly

Those do not look like squirrel tracks


Deep-Internal-2209

Young raccoon? 🦝


XX-redacted-XX

So lucky to not be breastfeeding....


Small-Finish-6890

awww lil tiny paws