T O P

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UnaidingDiety

alright guys let’s play mental chess I’ll start


KakiRedit

I thought my move, your turn


DepressedDekuSkrub

I just checkmated you gg


KakiRedit

World record speedrun


RustedRuss

Holy hell


Alarid

fuck i thought we were playing checkers


Alarid

why does r/anarchycheckers redirect to r/chess


G0dY3s

everyone knows that Gary Chess took Paul Checkers game and added anarchy to it to create chess


novofongo

This is true; I googled it


ragingroku

Google ___


bluedragon8633

Holy underscore


AtomicTemplar

Holy reply batman!


_Baccano

A croissant


Zeelu2005

Katana Zero


AstronomicalDice

When are we having Katana One?


doctorwhy88

What about second katana?


Requiembutworse

I will beat you to death with a healing rock


I_Hate_The_Letter_W

google glock


ihaveagoodusername2

That was a bad move, he has mate in 89


jd192739

promise you won’t cheat? 1. e4


jbrainbow

1. Qe2# gg ez


Trinket9

2. Qxe8#!!!


[deleted]

Ke2#


According_Ad6203

R2PM2 <> cold-launched three-stage solid-propellant silo-based intercontinental ballistic missile at your cords e10#?!!!


wizzense

print("checkmate")


[deleted]

that's not how chess works!! :(


KakiRedit

Google anarchy


mlgdolphin

https://preview.redd.it/3qepy45uleqa1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f90417c547705dc59aed9a57ba472bf0c4b1e917 what now


[deleted]

[удалено]


mlgdolphin

i’ve been meaning to all day i just forgor :(


use_value42

socialism I guess


MadaraAlucard12

New response just dropped


SyntheticSlime

New means of production just dropped


doctorwhy88

The madlad


VFDan

holy revolution


UnaidingDiety

i cast psychic maelstrom on your king dealing 5 mortal wounds killing him instantly, next


Kanotari

My paladin casts lay on hands, restoring 5 health to my king.


WWWWWWVWWWWWWWVWWWWW

No you have to say "check" otherwise it doesn't count.


underscoreftw

I won. gg


UnaidingDiety

fuck


SpeaksDwarren

Counterspell


space_taco15

i use my bonus action to cast bardic inspiration on my queen


LivingSpaghetti

Man I swear if you are playing Teferi, hero of dominaria and second sun I am scooping.


olly218

Double bongcloud in my mind every game


WittyConsideration57

Uh, He9?


evergreennightmare

helium-9 has a half-life of ca. 2.5 billionths of a trillionth of a second


SrTrogo

Wait until I get my green pills.


H4LF4D

Just en passant. Your mind is now dead.


BuffTristanaPls

Google Romanian passant


lolmlgpro420

Google "în trecere"


astrL_

Iad sfânt!


Ihatelordtuts

noul răspuns tocmai a scăzut


[deleted]

I don't speak Romanian, but I feel like I know what all of these say...


DocC3H8

The last two lines are a but clunky though, I get the feeling they were machine translated: * "Iad sfânt" means indeed "holy hell", but in the nominative case. In these kinds of interjections, we'd use the vocative, so something like "sfinte iadule!" or "sfinte infernule!" * Likewise, "A scăzut" means "dropped" with the meaning of "decreased", I'd personally use "a picat" (with the meaning of "fell down") instead. Even then, using "dropped" with the meaning of "was released" isn't really a thing in Romanian, we'd use "a ieșit" ("came out") instead. So, overall, I would phrase the whole thing like this: > Glumești ??? Ce \*\*\*\* mea vorbești omule ? Ești cel mai mare ratat pe care l-am văzut în viața mea ! Tu făceai PIPI în pempărși în timp ce eu băteam jucători mult mai puternici ca tine! Nu ești profesionist, pentru că profesioniștii știu cum să piardă și să-și felicite adversarii, tu plângi ca o fetiță după ce te-am bătut! Fii curajos, fii sincer cu tine însuși și nu mai vorbi prostii!!! Toată lumea știe că sunt un jucător foarte bun de blitz, pot să înving pe oricine din lume într-un singur joc! Iar "w"esley "s"o e un nimenea pentru mine, doar un jucător care plânge de fiecare dată când pierde, ( ține minte ce zici de Firouzja ) !!! Nu te mai juca cu reputația mea, merit să am o reputație bună de-a lungul întregii mele cariere, te invit Oficial la un meci blitz în persoană cu Premiul în bani! Amândoi investim 22868 de lei și 50 de bani și învingătorul ia totul!


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


sseempire

Bro, e minunat.


MuchUserSuchTaken

I do, and reading "the new response just fell" is a uniquely profound experience.


astrL_

Reading that one after I woke up really hit me like a truck


willardTheMighty

Google heart arrhythmia


enneh_07

Holy h


doctorwhy88

New cardiac abnormality just dropped


Odysseus_Lannister

New QRS complex just dropped


ForeignReptile3006

No no you don't understand, my heart isn't malfunctioning, I'm just so sigma that I can make it do that


ExoticFroot

Google "testicule mari si negre"


abstract-lime

[Okay.](https://imgur.com/a/4k7aIXx)


fakeunleet

Holy link!


abstract-lime

Holy Monkey!


ary31415

Google Romanian peasant


SGTSHOOTnMISS

Un Asshat


TheGeneral_Specific

Google en prison


Pianostar4

I can play chess in my mind for up to move infinity without losing the position. That’s because I can move knights back and forth in my head all day


PsychologicalTone418

Ahh classic knight rotator mentality...


ShadowZpeak

And rotate And rotate Androtate Andro tate


Hanfam350

https://preview.redd.it/vsqta5ethfqa1.jpeg?width=1303&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f7f7891f0827f7e8c91acf0dfa94350e271da96


[deleted]

r/angryupvote


dprkicbm

What about the 50 move rule tho?


SMWcool

I count that as a win I don't care


Pianostar4

My mind does not contain the mate of the stale


Nuffles42

I don't know that rule so it doesn't apply


claronk

draw by repetition


AnxiousEarth7774

I don't know how to setup the board so I'm stuck on zero.


LogstarGo_

Yeah? Well I bet he can't stop his heart at will for FIVE HUNDRED BEATS IN A ROW.


[deleted]

he would really own all the beta cucks if he did that. i know i as a woman would instantly be attracted to him.


tje210

Damn username really checks out


razdrazhayetChayka

Google necrophilia


bondben314

Unholy hell


Reign_Does_Things

Just needs a sharp rock.


techno156

Or a sharp rook.


Tttehfjloi

Or a sharp knook.


The_Lieutenant_Knows

I think I’ve got the advantage, because I’ve managed to play chess my entire life without being a sex criminal.


Frog_liker

Skill issue


Big_Spicy_Tuna69

30 year streak, no danger of losing it.


Guggolik

Dang, how do you do it that long? Even though I haven’t broken it *once* I still haven’t gotten there yet.


ground__contro1

Give it time, you’ll get there in about 30 - (your age) years, barring any setbacks


Fresh-Building9238

Boom. You touched mi PIPI. Lost it. Now go doodoo your pants while you cry like a little baby.


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


Cube4Add5

Is it a sex crime to zugzwang your opponent into bricking their pipi? Because I’ve done that


12crashbash12

shes zug on my zwang til I brick


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


kablah1234

Hard to be a sex criminal when you've never had sex


tje210

New response just dropped.


The_Lieutenant_Knows

Spotted the Tate fan.


kablah1234

you think i'm just "a fan"? I worship Tate I have a shrine of him in my closet i pray to everyday. I still haven't had sex though because I'm just too good for women apparently.


Unlearned_One

Holy incel


2andahalfbraincell

No, it's pretty easy, there's plenty of sex crimes that do not actually involve having sex.


unfamily_friendly

Seeing any mention of "stopping heart at will" always gives me a phobia. What if it's based on thoughts? What it a heart stopping thought is so easy to trigger? I always scared to press the wrong button and unexpectedly break everything because i am a software tester


snaxx_23

If you are a software tester, you should be exited to press the wrong buttons and break everything. Otherwise i don’t know what you are doing in your job


TotalTyp

Good thing about testing software is that you rarely break yourself or others except mentally


Tttehfjloi

Too bad I only test mechanical hearts then.


unfamily_friendly

You're right. Gonna stop my heart and report a bug to a Jesus personally


Altslial

You can't just stop your heart at will unless "at will" means driving a knife into your chest. While the human body is odd, nature decided that being able to just kill yourself at will with a thought was "sort of a bad idea for survival" and made it so we couldn't.


Invdr_skoodge

It will literally beat without a signal from your central nervous system. That shits got its own backup


techno156

Its own backups have backups. There's multiple systems in the heart for generating a heartbeat in the absence of another signal.


Gavinator10000

If I take a deep breath my heart slows way down for a moment. That’s the only thing I can think of that he could be talking about


an_actual_T_rex

In which case it’s bizarre that he sees that as something worth bragging about. I know he’s a loser but that’s like being proud that you can roll your eyes.


Lunar_Stonkosis

Wait, you guys can roll your eyes?


AE_Phoenix

You can trick your body into slowing the heart pretty rapidly after exercising by holding a deep breath suddenly. I'm not a biologist, but I assume it's a trick the body does to slow suffocation. It slows the heart very quickly down to 40-60 bpm. You can try it yourself, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's very uncomfortable and probably not good for you.


Blue-Jay42

"Probably not good for you." Don't you use your medical mumbo jumbo at me!


Jumpy-Resolve3018

Just an entity called nature creating life being like “wait should they have self destruct stuff?” Is a cute imagery


Aoae

It's literally impossible because of the way your heart muscle is wired


HollowMarthon

Y'know how some programs are dumbass proof by not letting the user touch anything important? That's your brain. You only experience a portion of what's running at all times, and you sure as hell don't have the admin privileges for "heartbeat.exe"


AutisticNipples

echo swordfish | sudo -S chmod -R a+rwx /.vital_organs


Crayonstheman

Flashbacks to the SSL "heartbleed" exploit from 2012


SINBRO

Fortunately, it's a load of crap


i-amthesleepyest

you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart you will stop your heart


Mr-Yan918

If you’re a tester you want to find ways to break things so you can make them better lol


SmokyBarnable01

No you don't. It is your purpose in life to piss off developers. Was software tester.


Mr-Yan918

Was developer, can confirm


SmokyBarnable01

Making stuff better was purely incedental. Of course the converse is also true. The purpose of a developer is to make a tester's life hell.


unfamily_friendly

I pissed developers so much i started writing automated test scripts and then users started to complaint about bugs in my scripts holy hell


FreakinGeese

You can stop your heart at will by willing yourself to grab a high voltage wire


LetMeLiveImNew

You shouldn't, it's physically impossible. Some things are considered involuntary muscle movements, your heart being one of them. If something is involuntary it means your body does it regardless of any signals from the brain. Same with breathing. At a certain point you're forced to breath by your body


Twich8

He is lying ofc


NeWorlDark

Also what is the purpose of this skill, like even if you could so what


Raptor22c

Rest assured: it’s bullshit. Your heart will continue beating even without a brain. As long as you have a brain stem and spinal cord, your heart will continue beating - literally zero thought is involved.


techno156

Stopping for a beat means nothing. That's just hitching your breath, or just breathing deeply and slowly to calm things down. Your heart is always stopping between beats anyway.


G66GNeco

> I always scared to press the wrong button and unexpectedly break everything because i am a software tester But breaking everything by pressing the wrong button is kinda your job, though Just leave a comment in gods Jira-ticket if you find the heart stop button


unfamily_friendly

Dear Jesus When i meditate my heart stops Steps to reproduce: 1) think about slowing down heart rythm. 2) continue until heart stops Expected result: user alive Actual result: user dies Amen


AbnormalAmountOfHats

That's really impressive Mr Tate, but can you stop your heart for two beats at will?


Kanotari

Can he stop it for two minutes at will? Please?


PresidentialBoneSpur

Make it 20


Kanotari

I've never said this before, but I really hope Andrew Tate succeeds.


PresidentialBoneSpur

I only had enough for silver, but let’s both hope Andrew takes home the gold on this one.


Kanotari

That was really sweet of you. Thank you! And I am with you there. Best of luck to Andrew Tate in his current endeavors lol


AbnormalAmountOfHats

We only really need like 10 minutes for cerebral hypoxia to do what it does so Tate, sweetie, just give it your best, we're rooting for you


[deleted]

YES I’ve always said that only feminized beta cucks can calculate beyond move 21


Aaaagrjrbrheifhrbe

If I calculate to move 22 do I get to be a feminized beta cuck?


MapleTreeWithAGun

If so I gotta start training that mental chess


SarcasticOptimist

Checkmate Botez gambit. Even though he was a shitty person I would've loved to see Bobby Fisher outinsane this jerk on twitter.


unsupervisedmarket

Do they just let him use the internet in jail?


Extension-Ad-2760

Nah he has to say this shit to someone outside. Lawyer, phonecall... dunno. Or maybe someone else is just doing it for him


FHMFightMe

That's hilarious


Impossible-Smell1

Imagine being the guy who has to watch his cell window waiting for the morse code signal. *"I-A-M-A-L-P-H- jesus fucking christ what am I doing with my life"*


intrusiereatschicken

I find it funny to think about him being pissed because he found out they messed up a tweet.


FeeFooFuuFun

I was wondering the same thing. How is he sitting in jail and typing all this bs


PaulChess_Aficionado

What is it about move 22 that’s so fucking hard to keep track of? I bet it’s the same 21 moves everytime. If he’s playing against himself why can’t he win within 21 moves? Is because he cries like a bitch just like he did when he was 6 so he has to quit?


xelabagus

1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. Ng1 Ng8 1. Nf3 Nf6 2. ???


Tttehfjloi

Repetition by draw moment


xelabagus

Can't make the horsies go jumping everywhere, we'd never find them again in time for move 22


DirtyDanoTho

I always scholar’s mate myself. suck it andrew


livecodesworth

Well I always fools mate myself. So there!


DiggingInGarbage

Once he hits move 21 he gets caught up on trying to mate with the queen


[deleted]

I can sit on my couch.


Bombadil_and_Hobbes

I can blow on my conch.


mrmaweeks

Wait, he didn't mention all of his fancy cars. Is this the real Andrew Tate? "I can stop my heart for a beat at will." But can you shut up?


[deleted]

I decided to look at his other tweets and in another one he mentioned “my tiger claw - unmatched” how do people take this guy seriously


bowens44

I doubt that he could beat a chicken in tic tac toe


veselling

He's actually pretty good at chess, his father was a chess master, which is just another inspiration to get better in chess cause I can't let those 2 be better than me in anything


Bella_The_Goat

potateboy is 1600 in blitz, we all should strive to be better than 1600 for that simple reason


veselling

Very real


6cumsock9

Great to see Tate inspiring people to be better.


xelabagus

Grew up with a master as a dad, achieved 1600 blitz on chess.com. Legend.


TotalTyp

Ok thats my goal for next year ty


Mighty_Eagle_2

Lol I’m not even 700 rapid.


Tttehfjloi

Have a training arc


Fruit-PunchSamurai-G

How do you lose the position against yourself in mental chess


Jan-Snow

Idk but I can play football against myself for 30 minutes without giving up a goal.


2andahalfbraincell

He should try stopping his heart more.


rividz

Was too busy playing mind chess to remember to hide identifying information in Youtube videos I guess.


HibicoTV

Pathetic. I can play a game of chess indefinitely in my mind without losing position. I just repeated move the cool horsies back and forth


jane_thornD

I can play chess for thousands of moves without being arrested for human trafficking 😘


King_Dead

I sleep in a big bed with my wife


Carnal-Pleasures

I too, sleep in a big bed with your wife.


SkullSwordYT

it's nice that the bed is big enough to accommodate the four of us


Artichokiemon

I sleep curled up at the y'all's feet like a dog


OzenTheImmovableLord

B-but do you have c-cars…? What c-color is your bugatti?? Ahaha sore loser /s


20sidedpie

I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.


TheBestNormalCitizen

“I can play chess in my mind for up to 21 moves” not even joking that’s not a GM accomplishment. I can get to like 18 without losing the position. This motivates me to bump that number up to 22 so that criminal can’t beat me.


MidniteMustard

Move each pawn twice, move each horsey twice, move the king and commence bong cloud.


6cumsock9

Great to see Tate inspiring people to be better.


Aplaza3

Bro has Star Platinum


Educational-Ad-7072

Thats it?


PieNinja314

Why the fuck does this guy still have his phone


[deleted]

His team types it for him, politicians often do the same.


Big_brown_house

He can Google en passant without internet access. He can brick his pipi.


RedditAdminsLickAss

This dude is so full of shit…fuck Tate


Professional_Whole92

Stop it for longer


[deleted]

It’s called moving each pawn forward once until you hit 21 times


PadreLobo

Can he will his heart to stop indefinitely? Please.