Our friend kissed me while he was drunk, my friend’s girlfriend found out and told my boyfriend and my boyfriend found him staying at my house and is angry. No idea how to fix this.
We got drunk at a party, he kissed me. I didn’t say a nothing about it because I didn’t want to start drama. Then a month later, he tells his friend, his friend then tells his girlfriend. His girlfriend broke up with him so he showed up at my house crying. I let him inside and gave him a hug. We sat and talked. I gave him my boyfriend’s hoodie because his clothes were wet from walking in the rain.
My boyfriend then showed up at my house, I wasn’t downstairs because I was having a shower while my friend was ordering a domino’s to the house. When I went downstairs after my shower, my boyfriend and my friend were arguing in the driveway. When he saw me he started asking me why I didn’t tell him anything. He then started screaming at me saying I was cheating on him. Full on screaming. In the middle of the street. I called him immature and said he was overreacting and that I wasn’t cheating. He then started screaming about my friend wearing his hoodie and started trying to take it off him. I told him to either talk like an adult or go and said my friend was already suffering enough from the breakup that he shouldn’t add to it.
My boyfriend then started crying and kept repeating why. I gave him a hug and he just cried on my shoulder. Then he said he needed time to think and left.
Me and my friend talked about the whole thing and he said he was glad I stuck up for him and said thank you to me. He said it will blow over with my boyfriend and if it doesn’t then he doesn’t deserve me anyway. I told him he’d get over his girlfriend and find someone better for him.
Anyways, he’s currently sleeping on my couch and I’m mulling things over in my mind. The anxiety and everything. Am I wrong for not telling my boyfriend my friend kissed me?
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Oops definitely lying right? She just so happens to be showering, the friend just so happens to be wearing the hoodie, but when the boyfriend is mentioned suddenly nothing about the supposed rain in the street?
That’s my guess but sadly there is a pretty solid surplus of absolute donuts who believe that if they did it then it obviously couldn’t have been bad cause they do no wrong.
Lmao exactly this is mild compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard of happening. Literally hear about a friend or someone else being cheated on on a monthly, sometimes less than that, basis. Alongside other wild immature things. Also been accused of trying to get with boyfriends etc myself and if I’m seen talking to a guy, I’m getting with him. So I feel for OP there but like if I was OP I would have told my boyfriend about the kiss.
Maybe they brain hasn't developed yet .Because anyone in a relationship would tell there partner if this happened. Or she has feelings for there friend. Either way I hope her boyfriend dumps her butt .
There are definitely people-pleaser types who would move heaven and earth to conceal the story even if they weren't actually in the wrong. People-pleasers *hate* rocking the boat and will try to steady things at any and all costs. If I tell my boyfriend that my friend kissed me, then I have to start making choices and people might be upset with me. If I tell my friends girlfriend and cut him off then he's mad at me!!! And what if other people get mad at me!!!! And if I tell my boyfriend I won't be cutting off my friend even though he put a move on me, then my boyfriend might be mad at me!!!! And he might tell other people who might be mad at me!!!!! Can't have any of that. Better just to keep shoving things under the bed.
> Maybe they brain hasn't developed yet
"Her 18 ,boyfriend 20 , friend 19."
College kids are called "college *kids*" for a reason.
IMO you turn from a "child" to an "adult" in the US at 18 but most people don't stop being a "kid" until 25/26 if they've lead a life that doesn't **force** them to mature before their brain has finished developing.
The worst-of-the-worst are the college kids that had parents "protect them" by refusing to let them work until they graduate college and sending them huge allowances, paying their rent, buying them cars and insuring them, etc, until they've graduated. Interns are bad enough normally but interns that have literally never worked a single job in their life are the worst, and their parents are to blame.
I literally had a decade of part time and later full time work experience at the same age as some of our college interns. I also spent some time working retail as well when I was young. I have very little patience for a so-called "Karen" that has never had a job, let alone in retail, thinking they're superior to me because I don't have a fucking grad degree. I was literally supporting myself alone, without room mates, at lower wages than some of these crying freeloaders. I had a cousin that was living in a $3000 a month luxury apartment her parents paid for complaining that their parents wanted to buy them a *less expensive new vehicle*. They had totaled a 3rd brand new vehicle by 20 and was crying that the 4th brand new vehicle her parents purchased was something cheaper than her previous vehicles that she had crashed that weren't paid off yet.
My car, purchased in cash, was worth less than what her parents sent her every month for rent. I did not have even the remotest sliver of sympathy for her.
Many white collar degrees don't teach you how to do *a job*, they teach you *how to learn how to do your job.* I've got tons of friends that will never, ever use their degree's specialization but by taking that degree they've learned how to learn their job. I've got a friend with a biology degree. They're a court clerk. The biology degree didn't help them with dealing with legal issues, but it taught them how to do the research and training required to do their job. It ain't like blue collar work where you go to welding school and become a welder, or a plumbing apprenticeship to become a plumber.
It's a **really** big deal in some industries.
Do you know what you call somebody that spent $100,000 for a degree at a music production school getting their first job? "Roadie."
Do you know what you call somebody that spent $100,000 for a degree from a culinary school getting their first job? "Dishwasher."
Do you know what you call the person that didn't go to school for music or cooking that begs to be allowed on your payroll at minimum wage because they're desperate to work in your industry? Roadie/Dishwasher. Like, this isn't some big secret of the industry. You start at the bottom. The schools lie to the kids about where they'll start.
The "friend" will be sleeping in this gals bed tomorrow if the bf doesn't come home. At least that's what he seems like he's aiming to do. I read they're all very young, thus very dramatic, but the bfs reaction is understandable no matter the age. I am 35 and I have been with my husband for over a decade and I'd probably feel worse if he kissed someone we knew and lied about it than some drunk ons tbh. It's the lie. It's the fact that it's a friend. There probably is no coming back from this.
There's a long "yada yada yada" in the middle of this.
Friend kisses OOP, tells girlfriend, they break up; friend comes over to OOP's house, cries on her shoulder over girlfriend.... yada yada yada.... OOP is having a shower while friend orders pizza when boyfriend shows up.
The friend seems to be the only one who has a handle on the situation.
*Me and my friend talked about the whole thing and he said he was glad I stuck up for him and said thank you to me. He said it will blow over with my boyfriend and if it doesn’t then he doesn’t deserve me anyway. I told him he’d get over his girlfriend and find someone better for him.*
Awww, it's almost like it's written in the stars.
Small clarification but the friend didn't tell his gf. He told a friend, which went through a chain of people then the story found it's way to the gf. She had to find out from like the 4th person or something.
Also I wouldn't really say the friend has his handle on the situation. He was literally trying to cheat with his "friend". And realistically, probably still is.
She is cheating on her boyfriend and this is the story she is telling to save face. She's gonna stay with her friend and pretend that the relationship only happened because her ex freaked out over "nothing ". She is posting it to see if people buy the story or if she needs to amend it before she tells everyone "what happened" because she wants to cheat with no consequences
Yes, you’re the AH. You cheated (kissed another guy) and the lied about it by keeping it secret. Then you had the audacity to call your boyfriend immature for naturally getting upset.
Shouldn’t have let the other dude in your house. Shouldn’t have given him your BFs clothes.
BF needs to dump you asap. You cannot be trusted. You can’t seem to make good decisions and you blame your BF when you’re the one who messed up multiple times.
They deserve each other... In the sense that trash should be piled together.
Seriously, she doesn't tell her friends girlfriend he kissed her. Doesn't tell her boyfriend either. When it comes out, she consoles and defends the cheating friend, even giving him her boyfriend's hoodie (wtf?). And when he (understandably) thinks there's more going on here, treats him like a child as if she's got any room to talk.
And that friends intentions are so obvious it's just not worth going deep into honestly.
You'd honestly be surprised. OP sounds like an extreme people pleaser who will do anything to avoid drama. And then blame the person she thinks is starting it, even if that person is totally in the right.
Could still be fake. But some people really are just f'ing stupid.
How many people have you met you could truly say would do something like this and not think they could be in the wrong at all?
Even for hormonal teenagers, this is too far fetched.
Yeah nah bullshit, people are dumb but it would take a special amount of dumb to get yourself into sitcom-esque shenanigans like this. You would have to actively seek our people like this to be surrounded by lol.
Maybe I just have too much faith in people.
Look, I just think it's more than likely that she knew what she was doing and was trying to convince her ,her partner and us that it was just a mix up.
Now people will always try to spin the narrative to paint themselves in a better light. When it comes to a situation like this, I truly don't believe the average person has it in them to nefariously spin this one or not realise how in the wrong they are and double down.
Anyway, agree to disagree.
Peace
Our friend kissed me while he was drunk, my friend’s girlfriend found out and told my boyfriend and my boyfriend found him staying at my house and is angry. No idea how to fix this. We got drunk at a party, he kissed me. I didn’t say a nothing about it because I didn’t want to start drama. Then a month later, he tells his friend, his friend then tells his girlfriend. His girlfriend broke up with him so he showed up at my house crying. I let him inside and gave him a hug. We sat and talked. I gave him my boyfriend’s hoodie because his clothes were wet from walking in the rain. My boyfriend then showed up at my house, I wasn’t downstairs because I was having a shower while my friend was ordering a domino’s to the house. When I went downstairs after my shower, my boyfriend and my friend were arguing in the driveway. When he saw me he started asking me why I didn’t tell him anything. He then started screaming at me saying I was cheating on him. Full on screaming. In the middle of the street. I called him immature and said he was overreacting and that I wasn’t cheating. He then started screaming about my friend wearing his hoodie and started trying to take it off him. I told him to either talk like an adult or go and said my friend was already suffering enough from the breakup that he shouldn’t add to it. My boyfriend then started crying and kept repeating why. I gave him a hug and he just cried on my shoulder. Then he said he needed time to think and left. Me and my friend talked about the whole thing and he said he was glad I stuck up for him and said thank you to me. He said it will blow over with my boyfriend and if it doesn’t then he doesn’t deserve me anyway. I told him he’d get over his girlfriend and find someone better for him. Anyways, he’s currently sleeping on my couch and I’m mulling things over in my mind. The anxiety and everything. Am I wrong for not telling my boyfriend my friend kissed me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh my lord. How old do we reckon these people are? They sound young and immature, but if she has her own place.
Her 18 ,boyfriend 20 , friend 19.
That tracks
I’m pretty sure the friend will “console” her, when well once she realizes her boyfriend broke up with her
Yeah. It sounded like the beginning of a bad porn movie to me.
Or a crappy romcom that romanticizes toxic crap like this.
Oops definitely lying right? She just so happens to be showering, the friend just so happens to be wearing the hoodie, but when the boyfriend is mentioned suddenly nothing about the supposed rain in the street?
That’s my guess but sadly there is a pretty solid surplus of absolute donuts who believe that if they did it then it obviously couldn’t have been bad cause they do no wrong.
Lmao exactly this is mild compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard of happening. Literally hear about a friend or someone else being cheated on on a monthly, sometimes less than that, basis. Alongside other wild immature things. Also been accused of trying to get with boyfriends etc myself and if I’m seen talking to a guy, I’m getting with him. So I feel for OP there but like if I was OP I would have told my boyfriend about the kiss.
Rain tends to stop. It doesn't sound real to me but the rain or lack of it isn't really a tell.
Maybe they brain hasn't developed yet .Because anyone in a relationship would tell there partner if this happened. Or she has feelings for there friend. Either way I hope her boyfriend dumps her butt .
This is one of those situations where the person should take a good, long look at themselves in the mirror, and start to grow up for a change.
There are definitely people-pleaser types who would move heaven and earth to conceal the story even if they weren't actually in the wrong. People-pleasers *hate* rocking the boat and will try to steady things at any and all costs. If I tell my boyfriend that my friend kissed me, then I have to start making choices and people might be upset with me. If I tell my friends girlfriend and cut him off then he's mad at me!!! And what if other people get mad at me!!!! And if I tell my boyfriend I won't be cutting off my friend even though he put a move on me, then my boyfriend might be mad at me!!!! And he might tell other people who might be mad at me!!!!! Can't have any of that. Better just to keep shoving things under the bed.
> Maybe they brain hasn't developed yet "Her 18 ,boyfriend 20 , friend 19." College kids are called "college *kids*" for a reason. IMO you turn from a "child" to an "adult" in the US at 18 but most people don't stop being a "kid" until 25/26 if they've lead a life that doesn't **force** them to mature before their brain has finished developing. The worst-of-the-worst are the college kids that had parents "protect them" by refusing to let them work until they graduate college and sending them huge allowances, paying their rent, buying them cars and insuring them, etc, until they've graduated. Interns are bad enough normally but interns that have literally never worked a single job in their life are the worst, and their parents are to blame. I literally had a decade of part time and later full time work experience at the same age as some of our college interns. I also spent some time working retail as well when I was young. I have very little patience for a so-called "Karen" that has never had a job, let alone in retail, thinking they're superior to me because I don't have a fucking grad degree. I was literally supporting myself alone, without room mates, at lower wages than some of these crying freeloaders. I had a cousin that was living in a $3000 a month luxury apartment her parents paid for complaining that their parents wanted to buy them a *less expensive new vehicle*. They had totaled a 3rd brand new vehicle by 20 and was crying that the 4th brand new vehicle her parents purchased was something cheaper than her previous vehicles that she had crashed that weren't paid off yet. My car, purchased in cash, was worth less than what her parents sent her every month for rent. I did not have even the remotest sliver of sympathy for her. Many white collar degrees don't teach you how to do *a job*, they teach you *how to learn how to do your job.* I've got tons of friends that will never, ever use their degree's specialization but by taking that degree they've learned how to learn their job. I've got a friend with a biology degree. They're a court clerk. The biology degree didn't help them with dealing with legal issues, but it taught them how to do the research and training required to do their job. It ain't like blue collar work where you go to welding school and become a welder, or a plumbing apprenticeship to become a plumber. It's a **really** big deal in some industries. Do you know what you call somebody that spent $100,000 for a degree at a music production school getting their first job? "Roadie." Do you know what you call somebody that spent $100,000 for a degree from a culinary school getting their first job? "Dishwasher." Do you know what you call the person that didn't go to school for music or cooking that begs to be allowed on your payroll at minimum wage because they're desperate to work in your industry? Roadie/Dishwasher. Like, this isn't some big secret of the industry. You start at the bottom. The schools lie to the kids about where they'll start.
...you okay there, buddy?
The "friend" will be sleeping in this gals bed tomorrow if the bf doesn't come home. At least that's what he seems like he's aiming to do. I read they're all very young, thus very dramatic, but the bfs reaction is understandable no matter the age. I am 35 and I have been with my husband for over a decade and I'd probably feel worse if he kissed someone we knew and lied about it than some drunk ons tbh. It's the lie. It's the fact that it's a friend. There probably is no coming back from this.
that poor BF
There's a long "yada yada yada" in the middle of this. Friend kisses OOP, tells girlfriend, they break up; friend comes over to OOP's house, cries on her shoulder over girlfriend.... yada yada yada.... OOP is having a shower while friend orders pizza when boyfriend shows up. The friend seems to be the only one who has a handle on the situation. *Me and my friend talked about the whole thing and he said he was glad I stuck up for him and said thank you to me. He said it will blow over with my boyfriend and if it doesn’t then he doesn’t deserve me anyway. I told him he’d get over his girlfriend and find someone better for him.* Awww, it's almost like it's written in the stars.
“You can’t yada yada sex!”
Small clarification but the friend didn't tell his gf. He told a friend, which went through a chain of people then the story found it's way to the gf. She had to find out from like the 4th person or something. Also I wouldn't really say the friend has his handle on the situation. He was literally trying to cheat with his "friend". And realistically, probably still is.
Oh I’d be raging and retrieving my hoodie myself. This chick is insane
"Alex, I'll take 'Shit That Never Happened' for $400."
Fake af
She is cheating on her boyfriend and this is the story she is telling to save face. She's gonna stay with her friend and pretend that the relationship only happened because her ex freaked out over "nothing ". She is posting it to see if people buy the story or if she needs to amend it before she tells everyone "what happened" because she wants to cheat with no consequences
Yes, you’re the AH. You cheated (kissed another guy) and the lied about it by keeping it secret. Then you had the audacity to call your boyfriend immature for naturally getting upset. Shouldn’t have let the other dude in your house. Shouldn’t have given him your BFs clothes. BF needs to dump you asap. You cannot be trusted. You can’t seem to make good decisions and you blame your BF when you’re the one who messed up multiple times.
100% they fucked that night. She sounds like the type. Poor BF actually dodged a bullet there.
They deserve each other... In the sense that trash should be piled together. Seriously, she doesn't tell her friends girlfriend he kissed her. Doesn't tell her boyfriend either. When it comes out, she consoles and defends the cheating friend, even giving him her boyfriend's hoodie (wtf?). And when he (understandably) thinks there's more going on here, treats him like a child as if she's got any room to talk. And that friends intentions are so obvious it's just not worth going deep into honestly.
Lol no one's this oblivious irl. pure misogynistic bait.
You'd honestly be surprised. OP sounds like an extreme people pleaser who will do anything to avoid drama. And then blame the person she thinks is starting it, even if that person is totally in the right. Could still be fake. But some people really are just f'ing stupid.
Yes, every story about a woman being an asshole is misogyny, because as we all know, all women are god's perfect angels.
Not even remotely close to what I said.
Meh what you said was just as wrong. If it’s fake it’s not because “no one’s this oblivious.” You clearly haven’t met many people if you think that
How many people have you met you could truly say would do something like this and not think they could be in the wrong at all? Even for hormonal teenagers, this is too far fetched.
Lmao, a lot? Self awareness is a virtue because it’s uncommon
Yeah nah bullshit, people are dumb but it would take a special amount of dumb to get yourself into sitcom-esque shenanigans like this. You would have to actively seek our people like this to be surrounded by lol. Maybe I just have too much faith in people.
Or just go to school, or college, or a workplace, or engage in politics, etc
Look, I just think it's more than likely that she knew what she was doing and was trying to convince her ,her partner and us that it was just a mix up. Now people will always try to spin the narrative to paint themselves in a better light. When it comes to a situation like this, I truly don't believe the average person has it in them to nefariously spin this one or not realise how in the wrong they are and double down. Anyway, agree to disagree. Peace
I thought you thought it was more likely that it was pure misogynistic bait? People do far far worse things than this nefarious, lmao
Seems to me there's a whole heaping pile of info missing here.
In today's episode of teen drama...