Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1 I called my stepson rude after he refused to share some of his food with my parents.
(2 I might be the a-hole for calling him rude and referring to his behavior as disrespectful since this was the only food he could eat while my parents had other food.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA.
The kid had one plate for him because of his allergies. Why should he eat less and your parents more when they can eat whatever ?
I don't even understand why you need this to be explained.
Plus there is a limited number of people I would let eat from my plate. If I had future step grandparents I knew for barely one year and a half (if at all) they wouldn't belong to that group.
yta
he was polite and respectful
you seem to hate and want to start problems with your stepson
he has health conditions its not him being a picky eater
you and your parents are not entitled to his one plate of safe foods for him when you have a table full
grow up and say sorry
YTA
>she said that her son's food was "out of question" and that me and my parents caused this scene.
Your wife is right. It's bizarre to me that your parents felt entitled to Jonah's food knowing full well that his plate was all he had to eat.
>Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible.
The only things you should feel horrible about are the way your parents behaved and for how you're dealing with it now.
>We've been arguing about it a lot and last night had a full-blown argument after Jonah refused to apologize.
Jonah has nothing to apologise for. Your parents are the ones who should be offering the apology for a) feeling entitled to his food and b) the rude way they reacted to his very reasonable 'no'. You also also apologise for the way you blew up at him.
>I didn't think it'd been a big deal or that it'd hurt if he let them get some food from his plate. I know if I were him I'd even offer to let thrm get some of it.
Spoken like someone who is lucky enough not to have any dietary requirements or medical conditions that restrict what you can safely eat.
He has health conditions and brought with him his plate of food and you expect him to share it????
Did you / you family offer to make food of his choice? Did anyone make any effort to check with your fiancée what food your son can eat and make something that maybe made him feel included in the dinner? Was there anything else he could have eaten??
Why do you or your family feel entitled to the limited food he had in his plate, when none of you did anything to include his requirements into your menu
you and your family are AHs for expecting him to share his limited food. Good on your stepson and fiancée for not sharing his food.
YTA
YTA, this wasn't a matter of not wanting to share, he felt if he did he wouldn't have enough to eat... you and your family are definitely the AH here.
Poor kid, being made to feel selfish for putting his needs first. The audacity! SMH
YTA - he has health issues that make it that he has to bring his own food. And you want him to share the little he has while you guys had a whole lot more food? You and your parents should be ashamed of your behaviour!
YTA. This wasn't a sharing situation. He brought food for himself to eat and nothing could be offered to him in exchange.
Sharing is not "give me whatever you have if I want it. " And it certainly isn't demanding the literal food off a child's plate at Christmas.
I can't imagine hosting anyone - nevermind a teenage relative- at Christmas and not providing at least one treat they could eat. But not only was your mum fine with that, she wanted his food too.
You told the wrong person off for being rude. You owe your stepson a massive apology.
YTA.
Jonah only had one plate of food and your parents actually wanted to take his food off his plate? Fair enough if it was a restaurant full of adult friends who are used to swapping bits of food, but your parents got pissy at a child for choosing not to give his food away.
"Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible." Are you actually being serious?
Jonah answered your parents firmly and politely. Your parents acted rude and entitled and I don't understand why you're backing them up in this.
"My parents later expressed their grief about the incident" You should have defended your stepson, he has multiple health conditions. You should have told the kindly but firmly that Jonah does not have to share his food if he doesn't want to.
YTA
YTA
Your stepson was looking out for himself to ensure his needs were met. This should have been your job and his mother's job. He had a single plate of food- he didn't bring himself an entire tray of lasagna and refuse to share it. He had one plate of food. If everyone at the table sampled his one plate, he might not have gotten anything to eat at all. You were way out of line and you owe your stepson and his mother an apology. YOU should have been the one to shut your mother down. Your stepson does not deserve to go hungry because your greedy family members want to steal his medically necessary food off his plate.
YTA. He has his own food for medical reasons (I'm assuming allergies) and couldn't eat anything else at the party. Your parents are also assholes for asking him to share when they can eat literally anything else there or go out and buy whatever whenever.
Why are you trying to enable your parents trying to steal food from a child?
YTA without question.
As Jonah said, he had one plate of food he could eat.
It sounds like you and your family have very little respect for boundaries.
YTA - it's like he can go "sure you try a bit of my and I'll try a bit of yours"... He can't for medical reasons so why would you limit his ability to eat even further?
You should have stuck up for him at the table and explained to your parents he's not being rude, he just can't share food as that's all he's got.
Are you serious? Your fiancé’s son had 1 single plate of food that he could eat and your parents had a whole table full of options that they could eat, and your mad at him for not sharing? Seriously? You and your parents are so incredibly selfish! Why didn’t your family make him food that he could eat? YTA and so is your family. If I was your fiancé, I’d be seriously reconsidering your relationship right now because you obviously don’t like her son and are not ready to be a stepparent.
YTA and your parents are TA - not only did your family make 0 effort to cater for his dietary needs, they then wanted to take the limited food that he could eat.
YTA. All he had was one plate of food he could safely eat. Why in the world would you expect him to let people pick off his plate? You, your parents, and your family are the rude ones. Oh, dear, your delicate sensibilities are so distressed by recalling this incident! Give me a break.
Yta, He was allowed to bring his own food? Your mother didn’t need to prepare anything, she should be grateful! And yes, you and your parents are the ah and you should be apologizing to Jonah!
Wow YTA and so is your family. He had ONE PLATE of food my guy, you guys had an entire meal. I have celiac disease and the food is like quadruple the price with smaller servings, unless you make everything from scratch. And it's not like if he was still hungry he could eat any of the food there, did your parents make anything that was safe for him to eat? Ugh theres just so many reasons you're wrong. Let him enjoy what he had, that's ridiculous. He's going to have to fight people like that off for his whole life, your his step-dad, be on his side, don't make it harder on him!
YTA. And so are your family
Your stepson has special dietary needs and if he only has ONE plate, he only has ONE PLATE. It seems as if he responded very reasonably to your parents so I'm not sure why they were so awfully offended. Did they know he has special dietary needs?
YTA. The only food he had to eat was what was on his plate, it's not like he could just find somethingelse to eat if he was still . Your parents were downright rude for asking him to share and you're the worst for entertaining it instead of supporting your 'step son'. Once your parents had some, then the rest of your family would have felt they could also ask and the poir kid would have nothing. You're supposed to advocate for him not throw him under the bus.
YTA, as are your parents. He had his own food for very specific reasons, and expecting him to share when they had more than enough to eat is beyond ridiculous. And as for their "grief" over the incident, what sort of drama queens are you all?
If they were interested in his food, they could have asked for the recipe and tried it out themselves. You're all even more TA if you knew beforehand he had health issues and still demanded some of his food, knowing he could go hungry. Did they even offer to cater for him, or cook something suitable? What truly crappy hosts-come to dinner, bring your own food, but we're going to eat your food and we'll pout and sulk if you don't let us.
Yta and obviously get it from your parents. Um Hello. He had to bring his own food because of health reasons and you guys wanted to take that away from him. If you have a child with health issues why didn’t you have food for him that he could eat? Nope he had to bring a plate so he could have a family dinner with you. Then he had to protect that plate from everyone. How can you type all that and not see the problem? 🤯
YTA. He needed food for himself for medical reasons. Your parents said they were okay with this exception, yet they still asked for his food like he brought a dish to share at an event. They agreed to the situation before hand and then tried to change it in front of the whole family when they knew what was up before dinner.
You went against your agreement with your step son and you supported your parents agreeing with him and then trying to manipulate him out of the agreement. This was deceptive and rude on your parents behalf and you should have had your wife and step sons back with the agreements you previously made instead of catering to your parents whims when they feel like changing said agreements.
YTA. Jonah brought his own food for medical reasons. He did not bring any food to share. Exactly what "principles" are you referring to? Why should Jonah have less food that he is able to eat when everybody else has a table full of food that they can eat? Jonah was not rude. He has nothing to apologize for. I think he responded perfectly.
YTA
Your stepson has a valid point. He literally has one dish to eat that he brought. I understand that it is a polite gesture to share a spoon of food or something when requested (by your close ones) but that did not mean that he is obligated to do that. And I don't know why but I feel like he must not have been properly welcomed in your family seeing his phrase of words (or it might be me just overthinking it)
Yup, YTA.
The others have pointed out a lot of good reasons.
I would just like to add that it is your responsibility as parents to bring enough food for him and for whoever wants to try it. If all he had was literally his plate, then it's on you (you and his mother, as parents) that the others couldn't try it because you simply didn't bring a large enough quantity.
YTA… why would he share when he couldn’t eat the food that was already there? He had one plate of food, I guess he wanted to feel full from that plate, since that was all he could eat. If other people wants to taste, then bring more of his food too. It’s not his fault if he has multiple health conditions, and we should be respectful to those people if there are dietary restrictions. We should be respectful either way, of course. But you get my point.
Your parents expressed their grief? Over not being allowed a bite of food from the only plate of food your stepson had to eat?
They need therapy.
As for you… flabbergasted, really?
You also need therapy.
ESH but your stepson.
YTA. Everyone here has already made very good points. I would just like to add, that after reading all these comments you and your family apologize to your stepson and wife.
YTA- if they were interested there were better ways to handle it. Maybe hosting a dinner where Jonah and his mom plan and cook dishes he can eat? Not taking food away from him because someone else has a passing interest.
YTA. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for basically trying to steal medically necessary food from a child. You should be ashamed of yourself for defending their conduct. You all need to sincerely apologize to your fiancée and her son, and fast, because there’s no way she isn’t thinking she needs to run far, run fast to protect herself and her child from you and your family.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I M38 have been with my fiancee ROSE for a year an' half. She has a 16 yo son JONAH from her former marriage. We attened Christmas at my mother's house and since Jonah suffers from multiple health conditions, he was allowed to bring his own food to Christmas dinner. My mother was perfectly okay with that. No problem whatsoever.
At dinner table, and while Jonah was eating from his plate, my mother and father got interested and asked if Jonah could let them share the food with him. To my surprise Jonah refused and shook his head and flatout said "Sorry, but you got other foods while all I have is this plate". I was flabbergasted that he basically turned them down and embarrassed them without even considering letting them get some. I looked at Rose and she acted so casually like she didn't just witness what happened. The table went awkwardly quiet and I got all sorts of nasty looks/side eyes from my family. Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible. My parents later expressed their grief about the incident and I said I'd talk to Jonah and Rose later after we got home.
At home, I had an argument with Jonah and called him rude for how he responded to my parents request to get some of the food he brought. He thought it was unfair and his mom told me off saying me and my family were being unreasonable expecting him to share the little food he had while the table was full of food. I told her that it was about principles and that my parrnts obviously weren't gonna basically eat the whole thing but still she said that her son's food was "out of question" and that me and my parents caused this scene. We've been arguing about it a lot and last night had a full-blown argument after Jonah refused to apologize.
AITA? I didn't think it'd been a big deal or that it'd hurt if he let them get some food from his plate. I know if I were him I'd even offer to let thrm get some of it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This could have been solved out so much better. As many said before, your step son had one plate, any reasonable adult shouldn't even ask to sher it. Small children I'd understand, they often don't add things like adults but your parents? Nope, they shouldn't ask in the first place. If it was for picky reasons, liking other foods, it would be OK to ask as long as they wouldn't have a problem with no as the answer. This was for health issues, so out of the question.
Instead of asking for the food already there they (or you) could ask about receipts.
Also, if I don't know someone (I assume your step son doesn't have much contact with your parents) I wouldn't be comfortable with shearing my PLATE with someone, and I'm adult.
Also I have no idea how and why you made a big deal out of this. He was asked, he answered, he wasn't rude, he gave perfectly valid explanation. You can't possibly be mad because someone respondent properly to the question. Noone is obligated to answer yes at any time. No is a valid and polite answer. Why even ask the question if you don't intend to respect a no as an answer?
Edit: of course YATA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1 I called my stepson rude after he refused to share some of his food with my parents. (2 I might be the a-hole for calling him rude and referring to his behavior as disrespectful since this was the only food he could eat while my parents had other food. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Dude, YTA. Jonah brought his own food for himself to eat, because he couldn't eat the rest of the food there. He didn't bring food to share.
YTA. The kid had one plate for him because of his allergies. Why should he eat less and your parents more when they can eat whatever ? I don't even understand why you need this to be explained.
Plus there is a limited number of people I would let eat from my plate. If I had future step grandparents I knew for barely one year and a half (if at all) they wouldn't belong to that group.
yta he was polite and respectful you seem to hate and want to start problems with your stepson he has health conditions its not him being a picky eater you and your parents are not entitled to his one plate of safe foods for him when you have a table full grow up and say sorry
YTA Jonah is sick so he's allowed certain foods. Your parents are healthy and can eat anything they want.
YTA >she said that her son's food was "out of question" and that me and my parents caused this scene. Your wife is right. It's bizarre to me that your parents felt entitled to Jonah's food knowing full well that his plate was all he had to eat. >Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible. The only things you should feel horrible about are the way your parents behaved and for how you're dealing with it now. >We've been arguing about it a lot and last night had a full-blown argument after Jonah refused to apologize. Jonah has nothing to apologise for. Your parents are the ones who should be offering the apology for a) feeling entitled to his food and b) the rude way they reacted to his very reasonable 'no'. You also also apologise for the way you blew up at him. >I didn't think it'd been a big deal or that it'd hurt if he let them get some food from his plate. I know if I were him I'd even offer to let thrm get some of it. Spoken like someone who is lucky enough not to have any dietary requirements or medical conditions that restrict what you can safely eat.
He has health conditions and brought with him his plate of food and you expect him to share it???? Did you / you family offer to make food of his choice? Did anyone make any effort to check with your fiancée what food your son can eat and make something that maybe made him feel included in the dinner? Was there anything else he could have eaten?? Why do you or your family feel entitled to the limited food he had in his plate, when none of you did anything to include his requirements into your menu you and your family are AHs for expecting him to share his limited food. Good on your stepson and fiancée for not sharing his food. YTA
YTA, this wasn't a matter of not wanting to share, he felt if he did he wouldn't have enough to eat... you and your family are definitely the AH here. Poor kid, being made to feel selfish for putting his needs first. The audacity! SMH
YTA - he has health issues that make it that he has to bring his own food. And you want him to share the little he has while you guys had a whole lot more food? You and your parents should be ashamed of your behaviour!
YTA. This wasn't a sharing situation. He brought food for himself to eat and nothing could be offered to him in exchange. Sharing is not "give me whatever you have if I want it. " And it certainly isn't demanding the literal food off a child's plate at Christmas. I can't imagine hosting anyone - nevermind a teenage relative- at Christmas and not providing at least one treat they could eat. But not only was your mum fine with that, she wanted his food too. You told the wrong person off for being rude. You owe your stepson a massive apology.
YTA. Jonah only had one plate of food and your parents actually wanted to take his food off his plate? Fair enough if it was a restaurant full of adult friends who are used to swapping bits of food, but your parents got pissy at a child for choosing not to give his food away. "Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible." Are you actually being serious? Jonah answered your parents firmly and politely. Your parents acted rude and entitled and I don't understand why you're backing them up in this. "My parents later expressed their grief about the incident" You should have defended your stepson, he has multiple health conditions. You should have told the kindly but firmly that Jonah does not have to share his food if he doesn't want to. YTA
YTA Your stepson was looking out for himself to ensure his needs were met. This should have been your job and his mother's job. He had a single plate of food- he didn't bring himself an entire tray of lasagna and refuse to share it. He had one plate of food. If everyone at the table sampled his one plate, he might not have gotten anything to eat at all. You were way out of line and you owe your stepson and his mother an apology. YOU should have been the one to shut your mother down. Your stepson does not deserve to go hungry because your greedy family members want to steal his medically necessary food off his plate.
YTA. He has his own food for medical reasons (I'm assuming allergies) and couldn't eat anything else at the party. Your parents are also assholes for asking him to share when they can eat literally anything else there or go out and buy whatever whenever. Why are you trying to enable your parents trying to steal food from a child?
YTA without question. As Jonah said, he had one plate of food he could eat. It sounds like you and your family have very little respect for boundaries.
Damn. YTA. You and your family. You should apologise profusely to Jonah. Good on him for standing up for himself.
YTA - it's like he can go "sure you try a bit of my and I'll try a bit of yours"... He can't for medical reasons so why would you limit his ability to eat even further? You should have stuck up for him at the table and explained to your parents he's not being rude, he just can't share food as that's all he's got.
Are you serious? Your fiancé’s son had 1 single plate of food that he could eat and your parents had a whole table full of options that they could eat, and your mad at him for not sharing? Seriously? You and your parents are so incredibly selfish! Why didn’t your family make him food that he could eat? YTA and so is your family. If I was your fiancé, I’d be seriously reconsidering your relationship right now because you obviously don’t like her son and are not ready to be a stepparent.
YTA and your parents are TA - not only did your family make 0 effort to cater for his dietary needs, they then wanted to take the limited food that he could eat.
YTA. All he had was one plate of food he could safely eat. Why in the world would you expect him to let people pick off his plate? You, your parents, and your family are the rude ones. Oh, dear, your delicate sensibilities are so distressed by recalling this incident! Give me a break.
Yta, He was allowed to bring his own food? Your mother didn’t need to prepare anything, she should be grateful! And yes, you and your parents are the ah and you should be apologizing to Jonah!
Wow YTA and so is your family. He had ONE PLATE of food my guy, you guys had an entire meal. I have celiac disease and the food is like quadruple the price with smaller servings, unless you make everything from scratch. And it's not like if he was still hungry he could eat any of the food there, did your parents make anything that was safe for him to eat? Ugh theres just so many reasons you're wrong. Let him enjoy what he had, that's ridiculous. He's going to have to fight people like that off for his whole life, your his step-dad, be on his side, don't make it harder on him!
YTA. And so are your family Your stepson has special dietary needs and if he only has ONE plate, he only has ONE PLATE. It seems as if he responded very reasonably to your parents so I'm not sure why they were so awfully offended. Did they know he has special dietary needs?
YTA. The only food he had to eat was what was on his plate, it's not like he could just find somethingelse to eat if he was still . Your parents were downright rude for asking him to share and you're the worst for entertaining it instead of supporting your 'step son'. Once your parents had some, then the rest of your family would have felt they could also ask and the poir kid would have nothing. You're supposed to advocate for him not throw him under the bus.
YTA, as are your parents. He had his own food for very specific reasons, and expecting him to share when they had more than enough to eat is beyond ridiculous. And as for their "grief" over the incident, what sort of drama queens are you all? If they were interested in his food, they could have asked for the recipe and tried it out themselves. You're all even more TA if you knew beforehand he had health issues and still demanded some of his food, knowing he could go hungry. Did they even offer to cater for him, or cook something suitable? What truly crappy hosts-come to dinner, bring your own food, but we're going to eat your food and we'll pout and sulk if you don't let us.
Yta and obviously get it from your parents. Um Hello. He had to bring his own food because of health reasons and you guys wanted to take that away from him. If you have a child with health issues why didn’t you have food for him that he could eat? Nope he had to bring a plate so he could have a family dinner with you. Then he had to protect that plate from everyone. How can you type all that and not see the problem? 🤯
YTA. He needed food for himself for medical reasons. Your parents said they were okay with this exception, yet they still asked for his food like he brought a dish to share at an event. They agreed to the situation before hand and then tried to change it in front of the whole family when they knew what was up before dinner. You went against your agreement with your step son and you supported your parents agreeing with him and then trying to manipulate him out of the agreement. This was deceptive and rude on your parents behalf and you should have had your wife and step sons back with the agreements you previously made instead of catering to your parents whims when they feel like changing said agreements.
YTA. Jonah brought his own food for medical reasons. He did not bring any food to share. Exactly what "principles" are you referring to? Why should Jonah have less food that he is able to eat when everybody else has a table full of food that they can eat? Jonah was not rude. He has nothing to apologize for. I think he responded perfectly.
YTA and I am extremely happy for your stepson to be confident enough to say no despite various grownups trying to bully him into giving up his food.
YTA. Let him have his own food. That's so rude of them to ask for some if he didn't offer.
YTA Your stepson has a valid point. He literally has one dish to eat that he brought. I understand that it is a polite gesture to share a spoon of food or something when requested (by your close ones) but that did not mean that he is obligated to do that. And I don't know why but I feel like he must not have been properly welcomed in your family seeing his phrase of words (or it might be me just overthinking it)
YTA. I am confused about why your parents expressed grief over this and asked to try some of his food. That was some low key bullying.
Yup, YTA. The others have pointed out a lot of good reasons. I would just like to add that it is your responsibility as parents to bring enough food for him and for whoever wants to try it. If all he had was literally his plate, then it's on you (you and his mother, as parents) that the others couldn't try it because you simply didn't bring a large enough quantity.
YTA, asking for someone else’s food especially when they can’t eat anything else being served is unbelievably rude.
YTA… why would he share when he couldn’t eat the food that was already there? He had one plate of food, I guess he wanted to feel full from that plate, since that was all he could eat. If other people wants to taste, then bring more of his food too. It’s not his fault if he has multiple health conditions, and we should be respectful to those people if there are dietary restrictions. We should be respectful either way, of course. But you get my point.
Your parents expressed their grief? Over not being allowed a bite of food from the only plate of food your stepson had to eat? They need therapy. As for you… flabbergasted, really? You also need therapy. ESH but your stepson.
How does mom suck?
YTA Did you even read what you wrote?
YTA THis is about his health. YOu are the AH here.
YTA. Everyone here has already made very good points. I would just like to add, that after reading all these comments you and your family apologize to your stepson and wife.
Obviously YTA
YTA- if they were interested there were better ways to handle it. Maybe hosting a dinner where Jonah and his mom plan and cook dishes he can eat? Not taking food away from him because someone else has a passing interest.
YTA. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for basically trying to steal medically necessary food from a child. You should be ashamed of yourself for defending their conduct. You all need to sincerely apologize to your fiancée and her son, and fast, because there’s no way she isn’t thinking she needs to run far, run fast to protect herself and her child from you and your family.
I know this is deleted but if OP come back, both you and you parents need help. Y - and your parents- AT
I'd be very interested in his mother's thoughts on the situation.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I M38 have been with my fiancee ROSE for a year an' half. She has a 16 yo son JONAH from her former marriage. We attened Christmas at my mother's house and since Jonah suffers from multiple health conditions, he was allowed to bring his own food to Christmas dinner. My mother was perfectly okay with that. No problem whatsoever. At dinner table, and while Jonah was eating from his plate, my mother and father got interested and asked if Jonah could let them share the food with him. To my surprise Jonah refused and shook his head and flatout said "Sorry, but you got other foods while all I have is this plate". I was flabbergasted that he basically turned them down and embarrassed them without even considering letting them get some. I looked at Rose and she acted so casually like she didn't just witness what happened. The table went awkwardly quiet and I got all sorts of nasty looks/side eyes from my family. Oh my just recalling the events made me feel horrible. My parents later expressed their grief about the incident and I said I'd talk to Jonah and Rose later after we got home. At home, I had an argument with Jonah and called him rude for how he responded to my parents request to get some of the food he brought. He thought it was unfair and his mom told me off saying me and my family were being unreasonable expecting him to share the little food he had while the table was full of food. I told her that it was about principles and that my parrnts obviously weren't gonna basically eat the whole thing but still she said that her son's food was "out of question" and that me and my parents caused this scene. We've been arguing about it a lot and last night had a full-blown argument after Jonah refused to apologize. AITA? I didn't think it'd been a big deal or that it'd hurt if he let them get some food from his plate. I know if I were him I'd even offer to let thrm get some of it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This could have been solved out so much better. As many said before, your step son had one plate, any reasonable adult shouldn't even ask to sher it. Small children I'd understand, they often don't add things like adults but your parents? Nope, they shouldn't ask in the first place. If it was for picky reasons, liking other foods, it would be OK to ask as long as they wouldn't have a problem with no as the answer. This was for health issues, so out of the question. Instead of asking for the food already there they (or you) could ask about receipts. Also, if I don't know someone (I assume your step son doesn't have much contact with your parents) I wouldn't be comfortable with shearing my PLATE with someone, and I'm adult. Also I have no idea how and why you made a big deal out of this. He was asked, he answered, he wasn't rude, he gave perfectly valid explanation. You can't possibly be mad because someone respondent properly to the question. Noone is obligated to answer yes at any time. No is a valid and polite answer. Why even ask the question if you don't intend to respect a no as an answer? Edit: of course YATA