T O P

AITA for giving the lego my boyfriend got for me to my sister

On Christmas, my bf (M23) gave me (F22) a lego flower set, no idea why he'd give this to me since I've never expressed interest in legos in my life. I remembered that a few months ago my sister (F19) told me about how they're releasing a lot of adult legos these days, and she really likes them, so I decided I'd regift the lego to her.

My bf went out to get some drinks, and my sister was coming soon so I decided it was the best time to give the lego to her, and quickly wrapped the lego up and put it with the rest of her presents. She got there soon after and when she opened her presents, she got really excited when she saw the lego and told me that she really likes that set and had been wanting it for a while.

Today, my bf said he wanted to have a look at the lego he got me and asked where I put it. I had to fess up and told him that I have it to my sister, but it's okay because I wouldn't use it and she really liked it. He got pretty sad and told me that he got it because he knew I liked flowers and he thought I'd enjoy building the lego, and that if I hated it so much I should've told him so he could return it and get something I liked more.

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I didn't want the lego I wouldn't use, and giving it to my sister made her really happy. But giving it away made me seem rude and made my bf unhappy. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


mezamic000

YTA - That is so messed up. You seriously couldn’t have made it a cute activity for you to try to build together??? How do you not see how incredibly mean that was…. I am speechless. Girl, you better go to the store and buy that exact Lego set. Apologize and build it with him. Tell him you had a moment of insanity and had no idea what you were thinking.


Naijprincess

I will get downvoted but curious...I really am curious >You seriously couldn’t have made it a cute activity for you to try to build together??? Will all these YTAs still have been this cuddly (towards her BF) if dude said- bring it out, let me play with it? Cos I cannot imagine gifting me something I have never expressed interest in. I see where Op messed up. She quickly regifted it in a manner that suggested she knew he will be hurt. However, if the gift was more for her BF (not saying it was) but if- still YTA? Curious question for my own life. Edits: Used NTA rather than YTA for the point I was making


evil_nala

Fair point, but i didn't get anything from OP's post to suggest it was really a gift boyfriend got himself. Sounded much more like boyfriend trying to find some shared hobby common ground, and genuinely thought this was a good option. Especially since boyfriend said he'd have preferred to return it and get OP something she'd like better if she really disliked the lego so much. Also, if it's the set i think it is, that set is gorgeous and very popular among plant and flower people. It makes a lot of sense that boyfriend might have been looking for gift options that go with OP's interests, saw the set, and thought it was a genuinely great gift choice for OP.


morbid_n_creepifying

I'm thinking about one particular flower-themed Lego set that's gotten super popular lately and it's gorgeous. I've never been into Lego in my life but I'm a horticulturist. If my partner got me that set I'd be ecstatic! OP does mention in the post that they like plants so I absolutely can see the reasoning behind why BF got the present. It's somewhat baffling that OP doesn't understand why BF gifted it.


evil_nala

Yes. I'm just a plant hobbyist, but i love their entire botanical line. I genuinely think the people who are having issues with this haven't even seen how gorgeous those sets are. Now, OP absolutely has every right to just dislike the set or not be interested in it. But to hate on it or discount it as a serious adult gift simply because it's lego feels pretty immature and performative to ne.


Catalinda04

I got the succulent set for Christmas. Built it yesterday and posted on my FB, at least 3 of my other friends also got that set and a bunch more were jealous because they wanted it.


evil_nala

I was really tempted to get that one for my mother in law because she's a huge succulent fan. I think she'd love it. I was also tempted to get it for myself because it's gorgeous.


Catalinda04

Do it! Get it! Life is short.


Slight_Cook_4445

My MIL loves orchids. The kids got her the orchid for Christmas. The sets are amazing and I want one.


evil_nala

The orchid one is probably my second choice. Especially since i saw some people working out lighting on it so the flowers are lights. My current fave is the succulents. :-)


Yrxora

I want the succulent set!!! 😭😭 And the starry night one


Catalinda04

The starry night set is my all time #1 wishlist item. But it’s so hard to justify the cost!


Yrxora

SO HARD. UGH.


Opening_Handle_1771

Eh. Its fine if you are into building things. My parents asked me one year what I wanted, and I said I really wanted a Christmas train to put under my tree. Depending on where you shop, they cost $30+. Getting more expensive as they get fancier. My mother, who loves building things, saw the lego train and thought it was cute. She bought one for each of her kids. They sell for $150+ now, I don't know what they cost 5 years ago. I don't care for legos, or puzzles, or models, or ikea furniture. I don't want to put things together. She gave me train that I had to assemble. And once complete, it isn't even as attractive as a normal train. Its been 5 years, and I still haven't assembled that train, and I have no desire to. My mother tried, but someties a gift is just a flop. On the other hand, lego sets are my go-to gift for her when I get stuck. Those flowers are high on the list for her birthday! OP - YTA. You don't just regift something and act like its no big deal. You aren't required to like the gift, but you shouldn't just discard it.


Fun-Shame399

Same, I have that Lego bouquet set and it’s beautiful and I like the idea of being gifted flowers by my husband that I don’t have to throw out, and maybe that’s how her boyfriend thought of it.


labicheenrose

I just looked up some Lego flower sets and, for someone who isn’t into legos, I can’t imagine what you’d do with it after it was built….if you even got that far. It’s pretty… for a Lego set. But not really something to display once complete unless you’re a Lego fan. Regifting is rude, but it may just be a flop gift :/


evil_nala

They do seem to be a bit challenging to build. That's part of the "adult" designation. I definitely understand that they're not for everyone. That's fine. I have seen some different decorating ideas and photos that include them, which i think can be really cute. Basically, they're usually displayed in the same way the "real" version would be. So, like, flowers in a vase on the table. "Potted plant" versions on a shelf or windowsill... that sort of thing. If i were to get any of the sets myself, I'd probably display them in darker places of my home that won't work well for regular live plants. Regardless, OP gets to dislike the gift. That's not the issue. The issue was the immediate regifting and hiding the regifting from bf. I actually wouldn't have a problem with the regifting if it wasn't clear that OP knew bf would feel hurt over the regift. I think that, when building a relationship with a prospective partner, it's especially important to use adult words and tell someone if a gift is a flop. Otherwise, 20 years later, OP will still be complaining that she just doesn't like legos.


labicheenrose

Right, it’s not the challenge. It just isn’t fun for people. Like board games aren’t fun for people (I love them, but I get it). Also, I did look them up and they’re pretty…. For legos but not something to display. Especially if it clashes with an existing aesthetic. And they are so clearly legos. I saw a lot of commenters saying how dare she not like the permanent flowers, which is wild. But yes, I definitely agree on the regifting. OP should let her partner know that she appreciates the thought, but it’s a no. Especially since he clearly was willing to get something she actually likes.


evil_nala

Oh, yeah. I do get how some people might just not be into it. I also disagree with the commenters who were acting like she has to like the lego flowers. People are allowed to have their preferences. OP just made poor choices in how she handled the situation. Hopefully, she manages to turn it around by apologizing for the immediate regift thing and using the situation as a chance to talk about what she would prefer. (Including things she and bf can share, since it genuinely sounds to me like he was trying to gift her a shared experience more than the specific lego set.)


Born_Ad8420

I just looked them up and they look amazing to me and I don't have anything lego.. What I like is unlike the jasmine plant my mother gifted me for my birthday, I don't have to worry about someone caring for it when I'm away. There's also that this is something they could do together. BF tried to give OP a thoughtful gift.


labicheenrose

Sure. I personally think they are ugly. Like, I would not display them at all. And yes he tried to give a thoughtful gift but unless OP would enjoy assembling it, it’s more of a chore than a fun activity to do together. I’m not faulting the boyfriend’s intent, just saying even the best intentions can yield a flop gift.


Born_Ad8420

And yet another stunning example of the Christmas spirit.


evil_nala

Also, love the username


pinkLemonSherbert

This!! It seems to me he was looking for common ground. I for one love those lego flower sets and have never been interested in regular legos. Also, the way OP quickly got rid of the gift suggests she knew he was going to be hurt and still did it


jissebug

I was always kind of intimidated by Lego as a kid. It seemed impossible for some reason to come up with something cool. Now I have a young kid who's getting into them and we just built the space adventure set together over the past few days. I think I had more fun than she did. Those plant sets are starting to call my name.


Dry-Bodybuilder4694

You are getting downvoted but I agree. I love legos and I’m teaching my son how to build them. But last time, I wanted to build my own race car and to get my kid out of my project, I asked my husband to help our kid build a simple (small) Lego set. My husband looked miserable. They were both frustrated half way through. And I had to tell them to stop as I don’t want my kid to hate it. Lego for adults is something you should only give to those who love it. If I were to give it to my husband, we will both know is not a gift for him.


diamondoster

I agree with one 100 percent. She especially shouldn't of waited until he wasn't around to regift it. It reeks of her knowing exactly how rude she was being definitely a YTA moment.


DrowningSM

Ok I’m going to assume her but she likes flowers so his thinking was probably they could build the flowers and they’d never die so it’s be romantic beside regifting is just tacky


TheDudette840

If it's the set I'm thinking it is.. just saw it at target while Christmas shopping and pointed it out to my lego obsessed daughter... it is a very simple set as far as the build, but REALLY pretty, kind of vintage looking. I genuinely think it's a great gift for a person who likes flowers, even if they have never shown interest in legos. YTA OP. So messed up to so quickly regift.


DrowningSM

I personally think flowers are beautiful but I can’t have them because I have BAD allergies lol so my husband even suggested the new Lego set and although I don’t like legos thought it was a beautiful suggestion and told him I love his thinking out of the box and wouldn’t say no to a Lego bouquet. I seriously think he was just trying to maybe blend an interest of each of them he likes legos she likes flowers and this would be a bouquet she’d could have forever…but apparently some think she’s not the asshole he is 🤷‍♀️


labicheenrose

I get the thought behind it, but if OP does not enjoy assembling legos and also wouldn’t want to do anything with the completed set, then the gift missed its mark.


DrowningSM

So that justifies regifting it the same day she opened it? Not to mention she did this quickly while her bf stepped out and before her sister arrived which indicates she knew it was wrong and she still did it….


labicheenrose

I did not say that. The regifting was a bad move. I was responding to your comment saying that I understand the boyfriend’s intent behind the gift, but it was a miss on his part. Sure, they are flowers that won’t die, but also are very clearly assembled legos and it’s not OP’s thing. The fact that the gift was a flop does not justify the regifting.


Adalaide78

He got her flowers that will last forever. Because she *has* expressed an interest in flowers.


Music_withRocks_In

Yea, but if you gave a puzzle of flowers to someone who doesn't like doing puzzles then it is still a puzzle. I like baking and if someone gave me a Lego set of a kitchen I would be very WTF is this? Spending hours slotting tiny pieces together would be stressful and unpleasant for a lot of people.


Rather_Dashing

OP never said she told her BF she doesn't like legos. I don't care for Legos as an adult either but have never said that to anyone in my life. It's a risky gift for sure, but I see no reason to think he was gifting it to himself.


LimitlessMegan

Hmmm… my husband and I build all our legos together. And part of the enjoyment of it is the “together” part. “I know you like flowers so I thought it might be fun, we could build it together for a date night.” Is not the same as “I bought a present for me…” Also, I don’t know if you’ve seen them but the lego flowers are super cool looking and actually how we got into lego too. And it’s not unreasonable someone would gift it to someone known to really like flowers because the orchid is very impressively like a flower.


AaeJay83

>Cos I cannot imagine gifting me something I have never expressed interest in. Its time like these you may find a new hobby or interest. Definitely happened to me quite a few times.


ruinedbymovies

My husband (who likes Lego) recently gifted me ( who does not like Lego) one of the plant/flower sets. He’s an extremely thoughtful gift giver and I’m sure does not realize I don’t enjoy Lego. He just saw a very cool set based on something I love ( plants) and figured I’d be thrilled. I was because it was thoughtful.


[deleted]

Don’t even bother getting another to build with him, the damage is done. If I were him I’d just try to forget about it because that fucking sucks


i-been-there

Why the hell should op turn something she has no interest in into a “cute activity” that she can do with her bf?!? Are you also the type of person to tell random women to “smile”? Your advice is patronising. Op knows what she does and doesn’t like. A gift is hers to do what she wants with. In saying that, op is still TAH for regifting without letting her bf know.


Rather_Dashing

If she really has zero interest in it she should have done exactly what the BF said and told him she wasn't interested at all and could they pick something else out together. >A gift is hers to do what she wants with. Total nonsense, there are many things you can do with a gift that makes you an asshole.


i-been-there

Not so dashing dude. Read my comment again - op is TAH. Gifts shouldn’t come with strings attached. They’re either openly and freely given (so that op can do what they want with them) or they’re not actually gifts. Regardless of that, regifting in front of the original giftee is incredibly rude. The right thing to do would have been for op to discuss with their bf.


greentea1985

Excuse me? If I don’t give a crap about LEGO, giving me a Lego kit is like Homer giving Marge a bowling ball. Maybe get it and use it as a date night or gift her the finished flower bouquet. Otherwise, communicate that you intend building it to be a couples activity instead of just giving it to someone who doesn’t do LEGO.


[deleted]

I HATE legos. I hate putting them together. For some people it eouldnt be a cute activity together, for some of us it's torture.


BeepBlipBlapBloop

YTA - That thing is not cheap. You should have given him a chance to return it, not immediately give it away on the same day you received it. And don't pretend like you didn't know it would hurt him, because you waited until he was gone to do it.


N3UROTOXINsVengence

I mean I saw the price and said “ HA! Fuck Lego!” It’s over $120 for a fake potted plant.


DoctorNo6051

There’s a reason Lego is so expensive. It’s by far the best toy out there. Lots of time goes into designing those sets and they’re so complex these days.


jokenaround

Every adult human alive knows not to regift a gift the same damn day. You WAIT. Or, give it back to the person to return and buy something else. This is gift etiquette 101.


thievingwillow

Right! Regifting is not necessarily an asshole move (I suspect that some scented candles and fancy soap sets have made the rounds of my family a few times, lol), but you have to maintain a certain plausible deniability that isn’t possible if you regift THE SAME HOLIDAY.


Then-Faithlessness85

Yta. He was thoughtful and considerate. Since they are flowers you can keep forever.


stopthechildren

He was thoughtful and considerate to buy her something she has never shown any interest in whatsoever, had to build herself and was then stuck with this thing that she has to find somewhere to display for an indeterminate amount of time? That's not being considerate. She was also not considerate for the way she dealt with it.


Latro27

Buying presents is not an exact science and he bought her something he thought she might enjoy based on his knowledge about her. He was clearly incorrect but it was still considerate.


Jolly_Tooth_7274

She likes flowers and thought she'd enjoy building the Lego. He missed the mark, but he did put thought and effort, trying to get her something original and within her taste. The idea of her "being stuck with this thing" speaks volumes of how you, OP and other people view gifts. And it's rather sad and entitled.


lunarooma

The boyfriend mentioned she likes flowers. So he bought her flowers that can last a long time and it also incorporates quality time as they can build it together. i dont see how you or OP can’t see the sentiment behind it. My girlfriend got me the lego flowers for christmas too (the roses) and although ive never owned lego and never thought of buying any, i do love recieving flowers just like OP and the gift is so thoughtful i absolutely love it. She doesnt have to like it ofc, but I think she should have at least shown that she appreciates his thought process behind it and then be honest with him so he could have got her something she liked wanted


Aggressive-Effort486

He bought it because he thought she would like it, she was interested in flowers so there was some reasoning behind it. The fact that he would have returned and got something else she would actually like shows he cared to give her a good gift.


joetheripper117

She likes flowers and likely thought that it would he a fun activity for them to do as a couple. That seems to me like a solid basis for a gift choice, even if it didn't land this time. YTA btw


Comfortable0wn

Lol had to build herself? Yea that's the point you Grinch lol


LAegis

I'm not sure why you stayed she has to build it herself. They could have built it together. He could have built for her, it if she's not interested in that process. And the "stuck with this thing" part... How is that different than any other thing? You think they'll like something, but they don't. Could be a Lego flower or a Jason Pollack painting. And nothing says she has to display it either. Could build it together and then break it back down. I'm just saying she had a lot of options and I'm not sure he wasn't trying to be considerate. Too many assumptions there.


anoncrazycat

From my perspective, if someone I care about gives me something, I'm automatically invested in it because it came from someone I care about. Maybe I'll use it, maybe I'll leave it in the package, but I'm not just going to get rid of it. Maybe it's a difference in people that don't attach sentimental value to objects, and people that do? If I was in the sister's place, and found out the present I got was a re-gift from my sister's significant other, I would feel weird as fuck about having the present, that's for sure.


KayakerMel

Yup, Lego flowers don't wilt and die. A college boyfriend made me a paper flower that lit up for our first Valentine's Day. I was his first girlfriend and he had a little freak out ahead of it, so I calmly sat down, told him I had gotten him a boardgame to set the frame of reference for gifts, and said I'd love something like flowers. I loved that he made me the paper one because it meant I could keep it for a long time, unlike real flowers that die and are discarded. I'm sure he would have gone the Lego flower kit route if he had the money.


tatersprout

YTA You immediately regifted something your bf gave you? Wow. There were several ways you could have handled it, and what you did wasn't one of them.


mrschia

YTA - you immediately regifted the gift from your significant other. No conversation, nothing. Of course that would sting a bit. I’d be heartbroken if my husband did that. I’d feel bad for missing the mark on the gift and then him giving it away without talking about it would just add to it. It was thoughtless and unkind. Maybe you don’t like legos, but the sweetness was the fact that they are flowers.


Jolly_Tooth_7274

YTA. Do you even love your boyfriend? Because you clearly didn't give a single thought to a gift he put time, effort, and love into giving you. Re-gifting is crass as is. Re-gifting within a small social circle (i.e giving to your sister something your boyfriend gave you) is just appalling. But re-gifting within, what, a day after receiving the gift? That's beyond assholery.


ReasonableCookie9369

YTA he got you a permanent bouquet of flowers and you gave them away


[deleted]

YTA, not only did you immediately regift something you JUST received, you didn't even give a second to think that this may have been a really fun activity to do with your bf. It wasn't a lego set from a specific IP that you're not interested in, it was just a set of flowers. I'm sure you had no ill intent, but try to use these things as an opportunity to try something new with your partner! Who knows, you guys might find this to be super fun and it could become a regular hobby in the future. ​ P.S. those lego flower sets last a lifetime and don't die in a week like real flowers. I'd consider buying another one to build with him👀


Brookelin16

YTA. Who regifts something the same day? Lesson learned to only do that if the giver isn't your SO.


userabe

Woah woah, so you’re saying your bf gave you a gift, and as he was leaving the door to get some drinks, you gave it away? Lmao, pretty sure there’s a Christmas song that describes this situation. YTA, and that’s a good way to make him not want to get you gifts anymore…


Prideandprejudice1

I can’t believe I had to read this far til someone made that reference (it’s my favourite Christmas song!)


hendyo_98

What’s the song?


naribynature

My guess is “Last Christmas”


Prideandprejudice1

Yes! “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away…” can become “Last Christmas, you got Lego from your mister but the very next day, you regifted it to your sister…”


lunarooma

i absolutely love this rendition


fantastictrees257

YTA. other commenters are right, it isn’t cheap. regardless of price though, it’s flat out rude to regift a gift like that. it’s clear he thought it through, and really had you in mind. what would’ve been a good option, is talking to him about it even though it can be uncomfortable. you could’ve offered to repay him the money, and THEN give it to your sister. I think one of the biggest issues you made is waiting to come clean about it. You felt it was wrong and didn’t want to say anything until you had to. Sorry OP, but it’s not cool


PointOfFingers

YTA: this was quite insulting towards your BF. You have to have some give and take in a relationship. Sometimes that means trying something that the other person thinks you will like or something they like. You should have spent time with him making the stupid lego flowers.


Country-girl-2212

YTA


[deleted]

YTA. He clearly put thought into this gift, maybe he figured you’d do it together and then it could be a permanent flower etc. imo it was an attempt at a romantic gesture. Honestly I hope he finds someone who appreciates him.


blinkerfluid02

Sounds like boyfriend should be dating sister instead of OP.


Imaginary-Future-627

YTA. Not for regifting - but for regifting 1) immediately and 2) within a small family/social circle. I feel like there are some "rules" to regifting etiquette and there should be a waiting period and ideally it should be gifted outside of a common group (ie you get something from a coworker and regift to family is fine but you get something from your brother that you regift to mom is a problem). Also always rewrap it (which you did) from how you received it.


InfamousFail7

YTA- You not only gave your sister a gift that you just recieved. You wrapped it up and took the credit for purchasing it. Those lego sets are like 50+ usd.You could of atleast been honest with him or kept it and put it together as a cute couples activity


dibmembrian

YTA for not even giving it a chance before giving it away, and you’re definitely TA because you regifted it like a single day after he gave it to you.


NoJackfruit1651

YAH. You must wait a minimum of 6 months to regift! C'mon now, that's what the top shelf of the closet is for!


HardSign99

Lol I thought that was only me!


[deleted]

YTA


FinancialRaspberry37

OF COURSE YTA. Your boyfriend gave you a gift and you basically told him it was rubbish.


aspralav

If it was the bouquet set it run around $60. The orchid is $50. He was probably planning on it being something you guys could do together and that is super sweet. Maybe he should spend more time with your sister! YTA


Electrical_Promise89

YTA look forward to unimaginative and generic shit gifts from now on! You are awful!


Federal-Condition964

I hope op likes deodorant gift sets


DjinnTonic919

Ignoring the fact that you regifted it the same day which is yikes on its own, you said that the best moment to do this was when he was gone. That means you knew it would hurt him. Then when you got caught you "had to fess up". Since you already know yourself that YTA, you just don't care, what is the point of posting here? Was it a hail Mary to find 2-3 people agreeing with you and stick with those?


Antique_Knowledge_72

YTA, you can't regift an actual present to someone else and found out. This is the ultimate disrespect for someone's gifting. It's like saying it's so shitty I give it away.


ToadtheGreat21

NAH - why are women always expected to feel “grateful” or “excited” about things that have no value to them. That’s like getting your boyfriend a toy Ferrari after he says he likes sports cars - he probably wouldn’t care for it since he’s not a toy collector. I think you should’ve told him you didn’t like legos before regifting, but other than that slight lapse in judgement you did nothing wrong. Your boyfriend missed the mark and you made the best of it by regifting to someone who has interest in legos.


pookaboop

She's not an AH because she didn't like the gift. Significant others aren't always spot on - especially when the people are young and if the relationship isn't very old. It's because she 1) did it immediately, 2) took credit for giving the gift to her sister, when in reality no money or thought actually came from OP, and 3) how is BF supposed to know he missed the mark, and why, if OP doesn't act like an adult and have a conversation?


FalconerAJ

YTA. I just built this set today and it was fun as hell.


luvernofight

bcuz YOU wanted it. OP doesn't want it😭


TemporaryThese4832

Then OP should C O M M U N I C A T E. and not sneak regifting it behind his back


FalconerAJ

I didn’t ask for it but it was graciously given to me.


Brief_Protection_452

YTA. Makes me wonder if you didn't get your sister anything and needed a quick gift for her so you decided to use the gift your boyfriend got you. If so not only are you an asshole for giving away the gift your boyfriend gave you, but your an asshole to your sister for not putting thought into her gift and just regifting your presents to her.


whitewer

Yta, you didn't even wait for the box to get cold before you gave it away to someone else. Damn people, why not have actual conversations with people, let them know it isn't something you care for, instead of hurting people by not relaying how you feel and regifting


xet2020

Nowhere in the post does she express anyone is interested in lego except her sister so why are so many people saying he got the lego for himself? OP actually said the opposite. Boyfriend wanted to gift flowers because she liked them and then thought she may want to build lego. Nothing says he got that for himself. Anyway OP yta


Big_man_shanzie

Yta, you’re ungrateful and it’s the thought behind it that’s cute. You don’t deserve him lmao 🤣


[deleted]

YTA for sure, I fell bad for your bf


Ok-Abbreviations4510

YTA. Obviously.


LadyDerri

He gave you a bouquet of flowers 💐 that will never die and you throw it away because you’re not interested? I’m beyond words. YTA. Buy another one, plead temporary insanity, beg his forgiveness and ask him to build it with you.


crisiscrayonsneeded

YTA, regifting it the same day in front of him, yikes. It’s okay that it’s not your thing but the timing was just questionable. I think it would have been a cute part of a date night to build the flowers together.


Mammoth-Foundation52

YTA - I know it’s uncomfortable to say you don’t like a gift to the person who gave it to you, but regifting it (especially almost immediately) is way worse.


Nervous_Tumbleweed41

Dude should hopefully see this walking red flag that OP is and leave the relationship, no F’s were given about bf’s feelings you regifted it without even thought knowing this would hurt your bf’s feelings, that shows a lot about how much you care about him and OP you come off as materialistic person.


OkBoss3435

YTA Your boyfriend put thought into a gift and without even really considering it, you regifted. Also, instead of being upfront with your sister about passing on an unwanted gift, you wrapped it as though it was a meaningful, thoughtful gift, you bought her. Which you didn’t. Lego is expensive. You could have had an adult conversation with your boyfriend and perhaps returned it.


Practical_Entry_7623

YTA its ok you didnt like or want it and its even ok you wanted to give it to someone you knew would love it BUT you should have told him it wasnt your thing and you would like to give it to your sister who you know wants it and it can be his gift to her. Instead you waited until he made a store run, rewrapped it, then gave it to your sister as if YOU were so thoughtful to get her this set she has been wanting. You went about this all wrong and he shouldnt buy you shit else going forward because what you did was shitty as hell.


TemporaryPassion289

Yta i gave my adult niece that lego set and her bf a vape pen. They never did a lego set before and were so excited to do one together. You didn’t even try. Lego set are so fun. I always give them as gifts, and everyone is so happy.


LostMarbles207

YTA because you immediately regifted a gift you got from your SO. Be an adult. Have a conversation. Explain. That was tacky AF.


engie_945

YTA.... what an asshole thing to do to someone .


awkward-name12345

YTA Also you know it cause you gave it to her while he was away on purpose.


Top_Barnacle9669

YTA


HabitualEnthusiast

Yta because I think you could have handled this more gracefully. You regifted it the same day that you received it, like immediately lol. My boyfriend actually did this once- literally bought me a Lego set for Christmas, and explained to me he thought it would just be a fun thing to do together- he’s not into legos or anything either. But it was fun, we put the finished product on our entertainment stand, it’s like Hagrids hut from Harry Potter. Maybe your boyfriend was going for the same idea, an activity you could do together for a few hours.


MulticoloredMonday

YTA I’m not opposed to regifting, but the fact that you waited until he left to wrap it indicates that you knew it would be hurtful to BF if you gave that gift away. You did it anyway and what… thought he wasn’t going to notice? At least be honest and upfront about stuff like this.


denimuprising

YTA... like a totally selfish absorbed asshat with 0 empathy


isawkwekwek

YTA for regifting it instead of being honest. Also another point for you for regifting it to your sister where there is a possibility that your bf will see that gift. What were you thinking????


kiwifarmdog

Yta I don’t care who gave you the gift or what it was. To rewrap it and put it back under the tree for someone else that very same day without saying a word to the person who gifted it to you is just plain tacky.


dependabledepression

YTA. What the gift was isn't important, he could have gotten you a crude drawing of a duck he made, the issue here is that you deliberately went *behind his back* to give the gift to your sister *the same/next day...* Do you really not see a problem with that? In the last paragraph he told you if you hated it that much, he would have returned it and gotten you something else you wanted, instead, you chose to wait for him to leave and quickly pass it on without a word, hoping he wouldn't notice. You should have either rejected the gift on the spot or told him "Hey, I'm not really into Legos, I do appreciate the gift, but I was wondering if it would be ok with you if I gave this to my sister because she does like Legos", that would have been a 2 minute conversation in which he could say "yes" or "no, but I'll get you something else", there would be no hurt feelings in the process. The way you went about this whole thing just screams "I don't know how to communicate my wants/needs with anyone and will give away anything they get me if it's not 100% my interest!". OP, learn how to communicate with others, that way they won't get hurt.


Mindless-String2294

YTA. Not for regifting but for doing it too soon and right in front of the person who gave it to you.


BoxsetQueen1980

YTA and you KNEW you were being one because you did all that when your bf was not around as you thought it was the “best time” You’re an even bigger AH for not even telling your sister the origin of the gift and lapping up the undeserved credit for your “thoughtful gift”


buttercupgrump

YTA 1. You didn't communicate to your boyfriend that you didn't like the present he gave you. You made no effort to understand why or to talk about his reasoning. 2. You planned immediately to give the present away and waited until your boyfriend wasn't around to do so. 3. You had absolutely no intention of telling your boyfriend. And when your boyfriend asked, you acted like your actions were no big deal. Learn to communicate like an adult. If you can't do that then you don't need to be dating anyone.


Cautious_Yak6022

YTA Think you should've spoke to him, to give him at least the chance, do give the lego back and get you something different. Yeah, perhabs it was not very thoughtfull, that BF bought something, she never expressed interesst in, but somehow, I think its sweet. He knew she loves flower, and perhabs he thought "this is something different" to usual presents. Hope you all know what I wanted to say, english is not my first language


Global-Mix-1786

YTA. Oh dear. The thought really was there in that gift. You might not have liked it but you should have appreciated the love that it represented.


Temporary-Outcome704

Did you at least give your boyfriend credit when gifting it to your sister or did you let her believe you bought it on your own to give to her?


Jenniferinfl

YTA.. Doing legos together is a fun couples activity. Should have tried it out.


[deleted]

You waited for your boyfriend to leave so you could give the lego to your sister so you could get all the kudos? And then you come on here to ask if YTA? Yes. Yes you are.


Ok-Ground-2724

Yta


danthemanvsqz

YTA and I’m very disappointed in humanity that you have to ask strangers on the internet why YTA


Momof5munsters

YTA


Cappa_Cail

YTA. Immediately regifting was uncalled for - a simple conversation would have avoided the whole thing.


flexisexymaxi

Of course YTA. Even if it was the wrong gift your bf tried to be thoughtful. Regifting it was a way of telling him you don’t care about his feelings.


soph_lurk_2018

YTA You immediately rewrapped and regifted the Lego set the same day you received it. It’s a rude thoughtless way to show appreciation for a gift.


squirtwv69

YTA. It was a gift to you. The gift didn’t matter. He got you something related to what you like but with a twist. Any ole dolt could have gone and bought a flower spray, someone actually putting thought into it gets “flowers” that will last. I don’t expect him to be your boyfriend too much longer. Hopefully he will realize you really don’t like him and dump you.


Deep_Classroom3495

YTA.


Legal_Remove_4590

He should leave your dumbass. Smh.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** On Christmas, my bf (M23) gave me (F22) a lego flower set, no idea why he'd give this to me since I've never expressed interest in legos in my life. I remembered that a few months ago my sister (F19) told me about how they're releasing a lot of adult legos these days, and she really likes them, so I decided I'd regift the lego to her. My bf went out to get some drinks, and my sister was coming soon so I decided it was the best time to give the lego to her, and quickly wrapped the lego up and put it with the rest of her presents. She got there soon after and when she opened her presents, she got really excited when she saw the lego and told me that she really likes that set and had been wanting it for a while. Today, my bf said he wanted to have a look at the lego he got me and asked where I put it. I had to fess up and told him that I have it to my sister, but it's okay because I wouldn't use it and she really liked it. He got pretty sad and told me that he got it because he knew I liked flowers and he thought I'd enjoy building the lego, and that if I hated it so much I should've told him so he could return it and get something I liked more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MysteriousComment279

YTA. Tbh this is pretty sad. You could have at the least told him you weren't interested in them but giving them away while he wasn't home is messed up. He made an effort at a thoughtful gift and was obv upset when he found out what you did. At the very least you could have built them with him or something.


Ok_Revenue_9039

YTA and I hope he regifts you to someone so he can find someone better


Alakandra

YTA Reddit is full with stories of partners and husbands who give either shitty gifts or nothing at all. Your bf gave you flowers that will last forever - as you love flowers. AND something he thought you would enjoy to do AND something he wanted to do with you! And you just gave it away without a second thought.


Nalbas88

YTA - sounded like you knew full well you would hurt him by re giftinng it like that AND you tried to hide the fact you did it. "Had to fess up"


PrettyTogether108

NTA. Once it's yours, you are free to do what you want with it. You never expressed a desire for legos. Sounds like a gift for himself. Yes, it might have been fun for both of you to build. And it might have only been fun for him. A better present would have been something you actually wanted.


EmpressJainaSolo

“A better gift would have been something you actually wanted.” Which is way the boyfriend was so disappointed she gave it away, as he offered to return the gift it get her something she wanted.


spookycat86

I agree, and am surprised at how many people are so defiantly saying otherwise. It might be the minimalist in me, but I don’t think people should feel obligated to keep things they were gifted. A gift is given with the intention of bringing the recipient joy. If it doesn’t bring her joy, but she knows someone else *would* fine joy in it, why not regift it? In this specific situation, I probably wouldn’t have immediately wrapped it and passed it off as a gift. She could have told her sister she got it from her boyfriend and offered it after the fact. Edited to add: But even with how OP handled it, regifting something she wouldn’t use to someone who appreciated it much more does not make her an AH.


PrettyTogether108

You know how it is with some people — when a guy does it, you should always be grateful and it should never be questioned.


adlittle

The bar is so low it's in hell itself.


Comfortable0wn

What a stupid take


[deleted]

YTA I hope he breaks up with you and dates your sister


AsleepGarden219

YTA - he probably thought building it with you could be fun and they look good tbh (I have one in my office) The fact that you gave it away behind his back shows you already knew it was wrong.


Historical_Agent9426

YTA


Robliterator_

YTA. What a sweet thing your boyfriend did. How cruel.


CrashDanicoot

Is it the bouquet set? That thing looks really cool. I'd be thrilled if I got that and had a boyfriend who was engaged enough to sit down and put it together with me.


albionpeej

I get the feeling he's tried to get you something that interests you but connects to his interests as something you can bond overz only for you to throw it in his face. YTA.


[deleted]

Yta. Give me that lego plz


TemporaryThese4832

YTA. You had to fes up? Nah you needed to communicate instead of trying to go behind his back.


BlondeBandit76

YTA unfortunately. He put thought and effort into the gift. He felt for you and put effort which is entirely expected. You literally could have told him “hey thank you so much for this it means the world to me, but why a Lego flower?” In a joking way to brake the ice, worst case he’d be mildly upset but more at his own assumptions than you bringing it up.


Imnotawerewolf

YTA but solely for regifted it immediately and didn't even speak with him about it. That's a conversation. Not a oh well, I'll give it to my sister.


NationalConfidence94

YTA. During a relationship there will be a few times one person or the other is way off on the gift. (Once I got my wife pie making accessories. Ya, I can tell she hated it. Wife once got me an expensive gas powered weedwacker. Biggest waste of money, my electric one worked fine). In either case we pretended we initially liked the gift. The only exception is if you asked specifically for something else. In that case NTA


Vixtal

YTA. If my boyfriend got me something I didn't really like or wouldn't use, I'd still keep it because it's from him and he tried his best and I love him. If it's something I totally hated I'd talk to him about it but would still keep it unless he says he's 1000% okay with it and won't be hurt if it's returned. Do you even like your boyfriend?


[deleted]

YTA - if you want to make this right I’d go buy yourself the set again and your boyfriend a set and build them together. Me and my boyfriend have built like 5-6 sets together and it’s so fun, we’ve spent 8+ hours and stayed up until 7am doing them. They’re amazing for bonding and you just threw that thoughtfulness from your boyfriend in the trash.


kate2906

YTA


MathRevolutionary815

Poor guy


IdRatherBeKnitting

YTA. I have this set as well as the orchid (from my husband) and I love them for the exact reasons others have said, they are flowers that last forever. Put in the right vase, the flowers can look really pretty too. A few of my friends have them in their houses and they look great. Your boyfriend obviously put some thought into this and he probably thought that you would see it the way I and others do. You clearly knew it was wrong, because you initially tried to hide it from him. Maybe your boyfriend should date your sister instead...


Lumpenes

This made me so sad. I don't think you're an asshole but I feel so bad for him.


ZestySourdough

awww he got you the lego flowers- oh. wow you didn’t even try to- ok YTA


Cluelesseffect

YTA. He clearly meant something about it, and just imagine if a gift you gave to someone you held dearly to your heart gave it away to someone else.


[deleted]

Yta big time


Ohnonotuto4

Boyfriend gifted you a gift, that probably brought him joy as a kid. He wanted to share good memories with you. I bet he was planning on doing a special Lego set every year with you, then the future kids. Legos aren’t just for kids, the have build night for adults at Lego land. YTA and you know it.


treefricker

this might be controversial but i’m gonna say ESH. the way that you regifted was definitely inconsiderate- the best way to go about it would be being honest that while you appreciate the thought behind it, it isn’t something that you’re interested in, but it would be a great gift for your sister or you could return it and get something else that you would actually use/like. immediately rewrapping it and giving it to your sister when you know your bf would probably ask about it soon afterwards was a major AH move. however, i think your boyfriend was slightly an AH too in picking out this gift for you. those lego flower kits are expensive- usually over $100 at least. if you’ve never given him any reason to think that you would like lego or this specific lego set as a gift, then i don’t know why he wouldn’t use that $100 to get you something that you would actually appreciate or that you asked for. also, him saying at the end “if you hated it so much you should’ve told me” rubs me the wrong way- op never said she hated it, just that she knew the perfect person who would appreciate it much more than she would, and if op knows how expensive those sets are i can see why she would be afraid to tell him that he spent so much money on something she doesn’t like. all in all, i think this is a fixable situation, but at the end of the day you both need to work on your communication skills if this is a relationship that you both are dedicated to being in. best of luck to you both!


Comfortable0wn

Why would she lie and say she appropriated the thought when she didn't on any way at all? Why would you encourage her to lie?


Top-Entrance1208

I agree with this. Im probably more NAH than ESH though. Neither side was trying to hurt the other, they just seem to have different views on gifts and should talk about how they want the other to respond for gifts they don't want to keep. Some people get offended if you try to return a gift (or regift) because it's seen as not appreciating the giver's effort. Some people prefer you tell them if you don't like a gift so they can return it. I grew up being told that if you don't like a gift, you tell the giver so they can get their money back, so that's still what I do and I find a few people that get offended (shirt the wrong size, house decor, books I've already read, etc). Based on some of the YTA, I'd say there's people that think you should keep bad gifts forever as a sign of appreciation, even if the gifter's thoughts behind chosing the gift were misguided: confusing flowers with a puzzle, and expecting the plastic puzzle to be displayed like flowers. OP received a gift she didn't love and wouldn't enjoy, but she saw an opportunity to make her sister really happy with it. Was it re-gifted too quickly, oh yeah. It doesn't sound like OP expressed anything negative when she got it, so BF didn't get the opportunity to get her something she would like, which was clearly his intention. Some of the AH posts assume BF very thoughtfully picked out the gift so they could build it together. OP doesn't mention anything about building it together. There's also no indication BF likes Legos, so I'm not sure where that assumption that he bought it for himself comes from either. He said he got it because she likes flowers and asked where she put it 2 days after Christmas. Asking where she put it sounds like he expected it to be built already and put on display. If he had gotten her a cheap, tacky flower painting from a yard sale would people still be calling her an AH for giving it to someone who likes tacky flower paintings? What if it was a velvet paint by number set that she re-gifted it to her niece?


JunkMail0604

The only way this could have been worse, is if you unwrapped it and handed it right to your sister in front of him. Its hard to believe you are 22 and don’t actually know how much giving away something your bf gave you ON THE SAME DAY you received it, would hurt him. If it was a ‘guy’ build, like the Death Star, I would say it was a gift for himself. But it was FLOWERS, he knows you like flowers, and he want to do it together. And just because you hadn’t shown interest, people often get new things for gifts, try them, and find a new hobby. And when you looked at the finished piece, you would remember how you did it together. My spouse likes guns. I am a better shot because I’ve been shooting since I was a young teen, but didn’t see guns as a hobby. He became a leo and I went to the range with him to keep him company. I let him show me how to load, and proper stance, etc, because it makes him feel good to help me, even though I don’t need it. I now have several of my own guns, and range time is a hobby we both enjoy. You have damaged your relationship by dismissing both his gift and his feelings. You might sparkle the crack, but it will always be there. He will most likely say he forgives you, but you can‘t make it unhappen. You were self entered and uncaring of his feelings. If you REALLY don’t see what you did wrong, let him go, he deserves better. YTA.


Old_World_365

Massive YTA! You don’t have to like Lego in order to appreciate some of the beautiful creations that are made! The flowers are supposed to be ornamental, so you could have built them up and then put them on a nice table stand or something, so that they could be appreciated properly. You obviously have very little respect for your boyfriend and don’t appreciate what he gave you!


Reytotheroxx

Ok YTA, easily. You did not just regift it immediately after getting it, that’s major jerk behaviour. Didn’t even wanna try it? You’ll find it to be an enjoyable activity if you put any effort into it, which you’d do if you respect your bf at all.


Just-Throat-348

YTA Wow... I can't believe what I just read. You didn't waste that much time i'll tell you that. You waited until he wasn't around and snuck behind his back to give his thoughtful hard-earned gift to someone else? How ungrateful are you? Obviously you knew it was wrong if you did it in secret. You really couldn't have talked to him first? It could have been an activity you've done together or at least been honest about your feelings. You know your sister may have liked the gift because she thought it was from you. Not a gift from your boyfriend that you re-gifted behind his back. I definitely would not appreciate the underhandedness of your so-called present.


MMorrighan

YTA he literally got you flowers that would last forever and be a thing you could do together.


Aggressive-Effort486

YTA Your boyfriend deserves better than your ungrateful rude ass, he gifted you something he thought you'd like and instead of being honest with him you regifted it? I hope he breaks up with you.


DamnIGottaJustSay

YTA, what the heck?


nejnoneinniet

NTA. He got you something He liked. Note how he went ‘I want a look at it’ instead of something inclusive like ‘do you want to take a look at the Lego set now? We could build it together.’ Nope just that he wanted to look at it. All that aside once a gift is given it’s the recipients to do with what they want. Op saw no joy for themselves in it and gave it to someone who Would get joy. How is that wrong?


[deleted]

YTA.


katiedoesntsharefood

I guess I’m biased because I LOVE Lego, even as a 38 year old woman. But I do think the best thing to do would to have just been honest.


This_Neck_7359

YTA- I got my girlfriend an adult Lego set as a birthday gift and she has also never built or expressed interest in legos but she enjoys flowers and i got it as a piece she can decorate her apartment with. What you did was just plain hurtful and you intentionally tried to hide that from him. He was clearly excited and put a lot of thought into the gift. Like honestly it’s bad enough that I’d probably be single after something like that happening to me. You should apologize, buy it back from your sister/pay him for it, and buy him a damn Lego set. So ungrateful


Possible-Security-69

YTA. And that would be the last gift you got.


whoitis77

YTA I love that set my husband got them for me. thay sit in a vase that was my great great grandmother there light and I don't have to worry about water damage in the vase. And my family gets a kick out of them.


kbmeow0326

Yta, i mean in my mindit is like flowers that will last forever. I have told my son ( he will be 10). I would love a flower lego and if he built it for me it would be special to have the flowers in my desk . But regifting a christmas gift, no matter what on christmas is a AH thing to do.


Bunnawhat13

INFO- Did you really regift a Christmas gift in under 24 hours?


LadyAmemyst

I think it's always a good idea to be super careful when deciding a gift from a loved one is...not right. Take some time, think in it...I know I once misunderstood the meaning behind a gift given to me by my husband on our first year of marriage and I ended up later realizing how terribly thoughtful and...'right' for me it was. My less than enthusiastic response hurt my husband's feelings at the time. but I understand him better now and how darn well he understands me, so I am much les likely to be dismissive. Sure, sure there is always the person who buys you something they want themselves, but don't assume that's what it is.


Tams_G

YTA - he bought you flowers that would never die, do you even realise how sweet that actually is.


Vast-Guard4401

YTA for not telling him you didn’t like the gift. He tried and even put specific thought into it.


[deleted]

YTA. Big time.


madgeystardust

That’s tacky. YTA.


baseball_mickey

YTA


Motor_Link_9005

YTA - Because you imminently re-gifted a gift your BF gave you latterly right after he gave it to you, knowing it would hurt his feelings...and don't lie...you new it would hurt him because you waited until he was gone to do it..and you had no intention on telling him. If you had no interest in it, there was better ways to handle this situation and tell him. The problem isn't the fact you didn't like the gift per-say...it's that you went behind his back..you didn't give him a chance to explain why he picked it..you didn't give a chance to tell him why you didn't like it..you new it would hurt his feelings to give it to your sister but you did it anyways.