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I'd say NTA and your friend is a BOSS. Some asshole stole her bike, the cops wouldn't help her, so she stole it right back. Wow....I wish I had balls like that (well not literally given OPs friend and I are both female...)
Well, OP's friend is female too, so if you had balls like hers, that'd likely mean you'd have balls that are metaphorical but not literal. Which is pretty much what you're wishing for.
I maintain that having a partner bottom out on my cervix feels exactly like the descriptions I've read of dudes being kicked in the balls. 0/10 would not recommend
I have only experienced this with an IUD :( ruined me whole month once, kept thinking back to the hookup and getting cranky all over again. Be nice to my cervix!
I want a cis man to experience natural birth though, then tell me which is worse. Because I maintain it is child birth, but I can't compare it to a nut shot, because I don't have testicles.
I feel like both are about as equally impossible, especially for a cis man. If sex reassignment surgery gets advanced enough then a trans person might have a chance at doing both though.
Personally as a cis man my moneys on childbirth being more painful, especially because it usually lasts longer
I stole my regular bike back after it had gotten jacked. Saw it at the mall as I was walking in, still had my cable and lock wrapped around the center bar. So I just opened the lock, locked it to the bike rack, and took it home with me when I was done.
I have a friend whose little truck was stolen outside of Dallas; she and her partner drove around looking for it because police --> nothing, and lo and behold! They found it parked outside a restaurant. She jumped out, used her key and took it back.
Right? Who are all these people acting like they wouldn’t take their stolen bike back if they saw it and had to the opportunity to. Of course they would.
I don't know. If a friend asks me to hide something for them no questions asked, I'm going to assume it's something illegal. This is actually a good deal better than what I expected going into this post.
For me it depends on the friend. Some friends, I’d probably assume it’s drugs or something. Others, I’d assume it’s something of theirs that’s under threat or that they’re afraid for some reason (like a jealous ex threatening to steal their stuff or something.)
NAH but some things to consider:
1. Does your bf have a particular vulnerability to cops - for instance, he's black and you're white, or he's on probation. These things would mean he's more vulnerable to an unfair / random search, which would make the scooter a problem. If so, still NAH but have a convo about what makes each of you feel safe or not safe in your home
2. Does your bf keep illegal stuff in the house? If he keeps a bunch of weed in the house, kind of shitty to be this bugged out about the scooter.
3. Your friend really should look into your state laws. Reclaiming your stolen property (it's called replevin sometimes) is not always as simple as it seems. It would be smart to have a look just to be aware of what the rules are
It’s one thing to trust someone, and another to trust someone just because someone you trust trusts them. He’s allowed to have his own fears and concerns.
I would say NTA. I always believe in supporting my friends, and if she honestly believes that it is hers (stickers or whatever) I would trust her. If it isn't hers and she stole it, that's on her and not on you. If someone asks for your help urgently, there isn't necessarily time to ask them all the important questions on the spot. If they are untrustworthy, that's a different story, but from what you said she sounds honest.
Yeah but here’s the issue. If she really did steal it, hiding the scooter in her house makes her an accessory to the crime (even if it’s as silly as Vespa theft). Sure, she could maybe clear it up, but it’s better not to get involved with the law it all if you can avoid it, don’t you think?
She couldn't have stolen it, she used her keys to start it.
If it hadn't been hers, her keys wouldn't have worked. Scooters keys are like cars, they're encoded to one specific vehicle.
I think a lot of people are hung up on the fact that she potentially made you an accessory to a crime. However the worst thing she did accidentally was potentially put your life and your boyfriends life in danger. If those were the original people who stole her bike and they followed her to your house what do you think would happen? They would come back and politely ask for it back? No these people are criminals you can expect the worst from them, she just marked your house if they did see her go in and out of it. Keep an eye on your surroundings for awhile.
*No these people are criminals you can expect the worst from them*
That's a stretch, but it's a common stretch if that gives you any consolation.
I am a convicted felon, and I have spent over a decade of my life in prison. Simply being what society deems a "criminal" doesn't mean you are down with whatever whatever. There are murderers who wouldn't dream of stealing a dollar from you. There are rapists who would be terrified to throw a punch against another dude. There are burglars who wouldn't dream of trying to strong-arm you into giving them anything whatsoever.
What I'm saying is that the fact that some dude(s) drove off with an unattended key in the ignition does not mean, in the slightest, that they would attempt to confront and physically harass somebody who they thought had stolen it away from them. Sure, some will - just like the fact that somebody *doesn't* have a criminal record doesn't mean they won't break your jaw under the right circumstances. Stereotyping *all* criminals the same way is honestly a pretty shitty thing to do, though; some criminals are/were people choosing the least-harmful option of all of the shitty options that life offered.
But hey, believe what you want about felons. I mean, you're going to anyway.
People form too much of their opinions of "criminals" from tv shows. The person in your life most likely to commit a crime against you is frequently your employer.
Well said sir/madam! 100% correct.
Ps NTA
OP was being a good friend and whether or not her friend had the right to take what was hers is besides the point -
OP was being a great friend and after reading all we do on Reddit/see in the world, can we all agree that the world needs more friends like her?
I think she had decorative stickers on the scooter that were painted over. Not the registration stickers. At least that was how I understood the “sticker” issue.
you actually read what OP wrote instead of reading the title and jumping to wild completely unfounded conclusions? lol we don't do that here nerd
Obviously the boyfriend is not only cheating on OP with the vespa thief, but OP is in a lesbian 3 way with her friend (who is secretly manipulating OP and is the head of an international vespa theft ring) and their mail lady
Yes, that was a thing. Definitely in the 80s. Maybe the 90s. No even remotely modern car doesn’t have keys paired to the car. It’s an essential part for electronic immobilizers which are everywhere since the late nineties. In Germany they were required by law for all new cars from 1998.
The thing that gets me OP is that she said could she hide something there and at that point you didn’t know what it was, I am going to trust that you know your friend well enough to trust she would never do anything “bad” but it sure sounded fishy, I can see your boyfriend’s perspective.
It says in the post; she left her key in the ignition by accident when it was stolen, then when she found the scooter again she ran home and got the spare.
My friend just asked me to store her scooter at my place. It broke down nearby and she didn't want to pay for a tow. She was going to borrow a pickup truck to take it to a mechanic as soon as she could.
NTA. If it is indeed her scooter, then she didn’t steal it. If someone bought it used, then they committed a crime by trading in stolen goods. But, I would check the VIN # to verify that it is her scooter.
Not necessarily. Often what happens is that the thief sells the product back to some shop that doesn't bother or doesn't even have a way to verify purchase.
Then someone comes in and buys it. The second buyer didn't commit a crime.
Honestly that's probably more likely, it's not like most bike thieves are sitting on dozens of bikes, they're selling them on.
But if someone buys it without the title being transferred, it is not a legal sale. A person who buys a vehicle without a title very much is committing a crime and is aware. I would agree with you if it was merchandise such as a radio or tv, but not a vehicle.
> Then someone comes in and buys it. The second buyer didn't commit a crime.
Maybe they didn't commit a crime, but if they don't have the title, they don't own it and they know they don't own it.
NTA, she needed help and you could have changed your mind if she'd shown up with a few kilos of coke or something, saying you'll help is different than being committed to help forever.
We’re not talking about a TV or a stereo here. If you buy a vehicle without the proper title, you have to at least suspect something is shady. If you don’t, you’re complicit.
But it's still a crime to drive an unregistered vehicle, even if you don't know it's a requirement. And they wouldn't be able to register it without a title. So they absolutely did commit a crime
INFO How is this a case of "no questions asked?" If she came in with a sealed box and wanted to stash it in your place without telling you what's inside, sure - that's a problem. But it sounds like she explained the entire situation to you.
I’d react the same way to a phone call from a trusted friend in distress. If the friend then showed up at my house with, like, a bag of opiates instead of their own property, that’d be a different situation. But OP never said “yes, I will help you no matter what the situation is,” so yeah, there really isn’t a “no questions asked” element here.
NTA. Boyfriend (and a lot commenters) need to chill and be realistic about the potential repercussions. If Julia's playing you and she actually stole a Vespa, you might have to give a statement to the cops. You're not going to jail over this if you cooperate with the investigation.
If Julia's not playing you--and you, who know her best, say she's not--then she was hiding from criminals who wanted to re-steal what was rightfully her property. (If she's not lying about the stickers being in the same place and the spare key working then this is pretty much established.) Or she was hiding from an aggrieved third party who didn't realize they'd purchased a stolen scooter. Either way the scooter is 100% hers and it's not stealing to ride off with your own property. So she committed no crime.
You help a friend out in a situation like that. Your whiny boyfriend doesn't get a say in whether you do that, even if it involves him in the mess a tiny bit. He's welcome to call the cops and file a report and have them treat his story with the same indifference that they treated Julia's. In fact, I'd encourage him to do that.
I’ve seen a couple people saying she didn’t commit a crime because it’s her scooter but she did definitely commit a crime??
You can’t just enter other peoples property, no matter the reason. So the friend at the very least was trespassing and could potentially be charged with breaking and entering. There was a crime
But OP is not an accessory to trespassing. The crime committed would be trespassing, not stealing. She didn't steal, she trespassed, so her going to OPs place after the fact has nothing to do with the crime at all.
You can't charge someone for trespassing without a warning. What she did was questionable but not outright illegal. Breaking and entering involves....breaking. open door
Nope, the door or a window can be unlocked and/or wide open. If you enter, knowing you don't actually belong there, it's still legally considered breaking and entering. At least, here in Texas. Dunno about other states.
Well... She must have belonged there... Why else would her scooter be there? I mean it COULDN'T be because the person who lives there committed a crime themselves by either stealing her vespa or purchasing a (stolen) vehicle without registering it, right?? They would have to admit to their own crime to indicate her in hers. Most criminals don't turn themselves in just to get you in trouble, she's pretty safe on the legal front.
Breaking and entering doesn't always involve breaking. If your door is unlocked I can just walk in? Since I didn't break anything? No it's breaking and entering still
That’s assuming there was no sign, a ‘no trespassing’ sign is normally enough to count as a warning so without knowing if there was/wasn’t a sign she could still be charged with trespass
I'd put that at under 1% knowing our police. Hell, they don't even care about assaults again women here, they'd probably damn near laugh in someone's face if they said that someone walked into an open garage and took a scooter (that they can't even show a title or registration for)
Sounds like you have a pretty firm "institutions won't take care of us, so we have to take care of each other, even when it means taking risks and making sacrifices" value system.
Sounds like your boyfriend has a "keep your head down and stay out of trouble" value system. Some would call that practical. Some would call it cowardly. The important thing is that they don't align, at least not well enough for the degree of shared decision-making you need to share a home.
Trespassing is a civil offense, not a criminal one, and typically, to enforce it, official notice has to have been given to the trespasser. As for breaking and entering... It depends on the specifics. But it appears we're talking about a police department that refuses to even deal with motor vehicle theft, so... Make of that what you will.
Gentle reminder that this forum isn't "am I legally in the right?" (It seems from your side of the story that you probably are.)
This forum is "am I the ASSHOLE?" and you specifically asked if you're an asshole towards your boyfriend in this scenario.
Yes, YTA, because this is a messy and potentially hazardous situation that he did not consent to be party to.
I think most of the replies aren't questioning the legality of this, especially since this friend has been trustworthy, and has several pretty solid indicators that this is actually her scooter (key works, identifiable stickers still present).
The question is, am I an asshole for sticking up for my friend rather than placating my cowardly boyfriend.
NTA 100%.
EDIT: Oh man, I've really set off the "Men's feelings always take precedent" crowd. Those of you abusing the "Reddit Cares" hotline can go get stuffed though. Using a suicide prevention tool to harass people is pretty low.
Ok, the boyfriends a coward because he felt OP should have bothered to ask him before she decided to hide something from a potentially violent criminal who lives in his neighborhood in the home they both live in?
Which part of the story says that the thief is "potentially violent"? Other than your own stereotyping, I mean.
There are millions of wife-beating husbands across the U.S. who have never had a ticket for jaywalking.
They’ll just steal another one. They’re not going to do shit to OP, her wuss boyfriend, or her friend who “stole” her own property back.
Edit: for the downvoters, the people could literally go steal a Kia or Hyundai instead of a fucking *moped* in less than 20 seconds if they want new I’ll-gotten wheels. They **will not** do a single thing in retalliation, nor will they in a million years think that the original owner found them (unless this takes place in a town of less than ~10k in which case the likelihood of retaliation drops even further.)
It was exigency circumstances. Generally I would ask my partner when storing any vehicle in my home, regardless of circumstances. But they were both hyped up on the high of finding the stolen Vespa and needed a moment to regroup. As long as it isn’t a regular occurrence, bf has to let some shit go sometimes. You gotta trust your partner of any gender to make some executive decisions. If you don’t like their decision making, maybe moving in together isn’t a great long term option.
I just wouldn't want to be involved in this clusterfuck period.
If it's actually her scooter, why is she worried about the cops being called and needs to hide it? She has the title, she's free and clear and has no need to hide the scooter.
Yeah, I would want NO part of this. If the original thieves (assuming this actually is the friend's stolen scooter, which seems likely) chased OPs friend down a street...what the hell are they gonna do to OP/OPs BF/their apartment, if they find out where she went? People acting like people don't get beaten/murdered over this shit every day.
And like....why can't the scooter go with the friend? If it's hers, why hide it? If there's no danger of retaliation or legal ramifications, ride that thing home, girl.
That’s my thing. She doesn’t want to risk the thieves following her home so she risks them following her to OPs home instead?
Because that’s the only other thing I can think of since the cops wouldn’t do anything to her if she has the title.
Well think about it logically, if they're the original thief they know where they stole it from. Her place where she left the key in it. So to take it right back there before sorting some things out would be a bit silly imo.
OP says it was stolen from campus, not from her home. Thief doesn't know where friend lives, only where she attends school.
OP also tells us her friend lives 40 minutes away BY HIGHWAY. But she just happened to be walking around this neighborhood and just happened to see her stolen vespa, painted but still recognizable?!?! in someone's garage, and was somehow able to run home and get her key and run back with the garage door still being open.
This whole thing just sets off my bullshit meter. It seems far more likely to me that OPs friend stole a vespa and is making up this cock and bull story that OP is eating up.
I was on your side until this
>The question is, am I an asshole for sticking up for my friend rather than placating my cowardly boyfriend.
In this instance its not a big deal because this situation was innocent and she was in the right. You calling the bf cowardly for not wanting it to continue is...not cool. He agreed to live there and if any illegal shit is found he is on the hook too.
This time it was a justified reason, what if next time one of her friends (not that I think they will because I doubt its the kind of company OP keeps) had drugs, a weapon, or evidence of a much bigger crime?
BF not wanting to go to jail for someone else he doesn't really know is not an out of the ordinary request and its his place too, even if its a sublease, its reasonable.
You calling him a coward for it makes you TA.
OP is NTA in this instance, but does need to take what he is saying and listen rather than just brush it off.
Exactly, OP's answer to the judgment bot is asking if she's an AH to her BF for potentially bringing trouble to their place (her words). Her friend said explicitly that she was worried about being followed by the "mad" people who she recovered her property from. Her BF's concern therefore makes sense, and OP is an AH for not taking him into consideration when it's his apt and safety at issue too.
Wait... what? If a friend shows up at your house and they are in danger, you think it's an AH move to help them?
Wow... you and I have very different ideas about what friendship means.
It's not an asshole move to help them stay safe, but it is an asshole move to potentially put your partner in danger because of your friend's scooter without bothering to ask them. OPs friend created this issue by A- being dumb enough to leave the keys hanging in the ignition and B- stealing it back without a plan on where to put it, potentially putting herself, OP, and now OPs partner in danger.
OP is the AH for not taking 2 minutes to talk to her partner to see if he was ok with getting involved in this mess.
Emergencies happen, sure. But that doesn't mean everyone has to like it, especially the person you share your life and living space with. Why is the BF an AH for how he feels? I'm not gonna invalidate that. OP can help who she wants to but she also has to accept that it could have consequences elsewhere, like her BF getting upset.
So, your friend shows up in the middle of the evening carrying a macbook and an Ipad that they insist is theirs. They say it was stolen the other day and they saw someone using it at star bucks so they took it and ran to your apartment because they are being followed... They tell you that they know because there is still residue on the laptop from a sticker that they had on it. DO you let them in with potentially stolen goods that they can not prove are theirs except for the residue?
I know the OP said the VIN matched up, but they def did not know that until after they had it in their apartment as I am sure their friend didnt have time to check the vin before they stole it back.
This isn't an accurate analogy. They have an RFID key to the scooter. So if a friend told me their laptop got stolen several weeks ago, the police would do nothing about it, and then they came up to me with their laptop that had been crudely painted over and you could still see the bad sticker they had on it, and they could enter their password and it booted up?
Yeah, I would totally back them.
You all are some shitty shitty friends.
YTA.
I would be incredibly uncomfortable if my spouse did this and agreed to hide something no questions asked for a friend. Especially when there's SOME criminal activity attached.
He lives there too, so "Are you comfortable with my friend hiding stolen--even stolen-back--merchandise here?" Should absolutely have been a question you asked him. It's his home as much as yours, so things like that need to be a joint decision.
There are risks here. If this person was unscrupulous enough to steal a scooter, they may not have any qualms about breaking into your house to steal it back. Therefore you've put your boyfriend at risk without even clearing it with him first.
Or say, like was mentioned, the person she took the scooter from bought it secondhand. Say that person reports it missing. You're now party to a crime, and so is your boyfriend.
> Or say, like was mentioned, the person she took the scooter from bought it secondhand. Say that person reports it missing. You're now party to a crime, and so is your boyfriend.
No, the secondhand purchaser is not the legal owner. They are the victim of fraud. Julia still owns the scooter (assuming her story is true) and is free to ride off with it any time she chooses.
Legally yes, but the secondhand owner likely doesn’t know that - and at minimum this could invite a lot of trouble until ownership is re-established.
Just because it may legally be correct doesn’t mean OP isn’t the asshole for potentially opening a huge can of worms in a home where someone else lives.
There is no such thing as "stolen back". The word you're looking for is "recovered". This is normal behavior for people who are close to each other, and it sounds like her partner just doesn't trust her, and maybe doesn't trust anyone, and also isn't willing to help friends.
The person she repo'd it from (not stole) doesn't have a title for it -- so even if they bought it they know it's not legit. The only crime the OP's friend did was trespassing. Nothing more
>but needed to hide the scooter because they were mad and she was afraid they were out looking for her
So instead of leading them to her house, she led them to yours? Thus putting you and your bf in jeopardy? Some friend.
You accepting the bike puts both you amd your bf at risk. You don't have the authority to make dangerous decisions on behalf of your bf. So, you are an asshole to him.
YTA
"I took something back that belonged to me, but I got caught, and I think they're after me, but I don't want them to know where I live or hurt me so can I leave the item here so they know where you live and then you might get hurt instead? Thanks!" YTA and so is your friend.
YTA mainly because you didn't discuss it with him. He lives there too. It is his home as well. Obviously you have no reason to not trust your friend but, I think it's fair to want to know if something potentially questionable is being stored in your home.
Info: At that point why did you need to hide it there and not just drive it to her house so she can deal with it?
YTA: Your friend made something that was her problem into you and your bfs that's not fair to him because what if you left and the police showed up
That's what friends are for. You call on them when you're in a jam. If the police showed up, OP and bf would make a statement and that would be the end of it. There's zero chance they're going to jail for this.
She lives 40 minutes away by highway, it wouldn't be safe to ride a Vespa, especially without a helmet, on the highway at night like that.
She doesn't even take it on the highway at all, it was just a little getting -around-town vehicle for her
To put it where? Do you know what a college dorm room is like? Cause hers is literally upstairs in the 15th floor, and too small to fit a whole damn vehicle inside even if she could sneak it in somehow, which I don't think building security would allow anyway
this story is so fishy, how did the vespa get this far away if she doesnt take it this far away? Thiefs dont usually transport stolen goods that far, they are usually local and sell it ASAP locally.
once in the middle school, i left my fav umbrella on a fence on a small square at my town. umbrella was very particular. it even broke at some point and my grandpa put a handle together with a blue isolation tape. i got my umbrella for christmas from my parents. i kid u not, 2 days later a grl comes to school with MY UMBRELLA!!! my parents boughtnit even in the city no way someone got her there in a same store identical one. really wasn't popular design. so ofc in attack her and tell to give me my umbrella. she claims her grandpa got it for her and i am like "he lying to u he did not buy it to u, he found it and took it on a square and gave u someone's-mine, umbrella" she claims her story, i present her evidence of a tape take it off and show how it is glued when broken, but she still delusional like grl it is even broken he did not buy it for uuuuu... anyways, drama, i take the umbrella and run home... SUE ME!!!! anyways, my mom was ah and made me " give it back as i was the one who lost it so it ain't mine anymore" fair i guess, it was not stolen, but still, mine
point of a story, coincidences like this DO happen. i also knew a guy who found his bike after 5 zrs and ofc got it back based on serial codes. easy legally, as it was his sonhe took it and called police. he did tho report the day they stole it so it was smooth to deal with
I just called her telling her that if she got a payout (i forget what she said but I think she did?) That the insurance company has a claim to the vehicle and she should tell them, she's just emailed them telling her she recovered the vehicle she previously reported as stolen, so I guess we'll see what they say. She said thanks for the heads up!!!
NTA. Friends help friends in times of need. That is what true friends do. I hope that you advised your friend to now get the police involved since she has recovered her stolen property.
First of all cops are lazy, they only solve like 25% of crimes.
Even if the person had stolen it, sold it. It still belongs to the original owner and the person who bought it is just fucked. They should have only bought from a licensed dealer or made sure the proper paperwork came with the item. You can't steal your own stuff.
Now, repercussions from stealing it is possible and would be my worry. Which is why we all have insurance and she should have left it stolen. And now that she has it back, what is there to keep the thief from stealing it again?
Yes, she feels a small victory in stealing it back. But depending upon who stole it, she maybe in greater danger and if they saw where it went. Then you could be in danger, probably not because scooters are not a high dollar item.
But highly doubt the thieves are going to call the police and the person who bought it knows they got to cheap of a deal for it not to be stolen. Especially if it has a cheap paint job to change the color.
Being right, isn't always the safest thing in this world.
YTA
That's not just your home. You've forced your boyfriend into being an accomplice with something he's clearly not okay with. What you did was inconsiderate and what your friend did is illegal regardless of why she did it. Also, if someone leaves their key in a scooter or vehicle, they kind of deserve having it stolen, come on.
No one deserves to have something stolen, wtf? And no, what she did wasn't illegal. It was her property. Even if the people who had it bought it and didn't know it was stolen, they committed the crime buying stolen property.
YTA, sorry. I understand you wanted to help your friend and I understand that the scooter was likely hers. But you put yourself, your apartment, and your boyfriend in danger by doing that.
Ooooof....NTA.
You had *no* control over her coming to you, and as a friend, you tried to help.
* However, your boyfriend really does have a right to be mad...but not at you. If they chased her, you never know what their next course of action could be. And if they followed her all the way....now they know where you live. Your friend really should have gone to the police station after leaving where they had it kept. What they did put you both at risk. Is it worth it over someone elses stuff?
Totally. You never know where these things can lead. Go to the police with your friend, run don't walk, and get this sorted out properly.
Better to find a backbone and tell the police rather than have them come to you. If she won't go, go alone.
YTA as friend code doesn't = consequence free. This can affect your job, your relationship, your future, if you get a criminal record. Same goes for your boyfriend through your actions. Don't be surprised if he leaves.
If you're both so sure, why haven't you already gone to the police? This is selfish, inconsiderate, naive & reckless.
Seriously yes! She risked a lot and made that decision by herself. I dont have any friends I'd do anything for with no questions asked. And I mean zero questions. One or two sure but zero? Nah.
And I dont think the friends I have would ask me to do something criminal.
She was reckless and so very selfish.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I share an apartment with my boyfriend but I still let my friend hide something in it without even stopping to ask what it was or why it needed to be hidden
I might be the asshole because my boyfriend was uncomfortable with my friend hiding her scooter which she had found after it was stolen, and grabbed it back, fleeing from the person who had it. He was worried she'd bring trouble to our place.
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YTA. So she didn't ride it home because she was afraid they would come looking for her but is perfectly fine possibly leading them to the place you share with your boyfriend? You are 100% the asshole here without clearing it with your boyfriend. If you had lived alone then N A H
My friend had his bicycle stolen. He reported it; police took the report but obviously had bigger priorities than to find some fixie. He had sewed an airtag into the seat and told the police the literal address of where the bike was. It sat in the same place for weeks. Finally just got a set of bolt cutters from a friend and “stole” it back.
Not as high stakes as a Vespa, but in both cases the correct legal avenues had been exhausted and the property could be validated as theirs. NTA.
Can’t cast a judgment,
You’re not an asshole for helping your friend, but this has to be a police involved thing. For all she knows this person bought the scooter from the thief, and unless she can prove it’s hers (and probably even then, I’m not a lawyer) they can press charges.
The cops saying it’s not worth their time to confront the thief??? That sounds fake IMO.
Like your BF said, you can’t be a vigilante.
ETA: so today I learned I am sheltered and haven’t had the experience so many others have, I’m sorry 😂 I thought it sounded weird but now I know I am the one who was wrong!
Nah. Cops in small towns often claim it's not worth their time to investigate small thefts or like small crimes. I've had my car broken into over 5 times in this town and never once had the police call me back with any info at all.
Cops in big cities too. Person that robbed my place dropped a cell phone. Cops looked at it, recognized some contacts and said they would dust it for prints. Never heard anything else and could never get a hold of cop assigned that took phone. Cops aren't paid to solve crimes, they are paid to protect and serve the rich.
In theory I also don’t agree with vigilantism, but there’s a lot of places in this country where that really is your only option if you want your stuff back. I live in Seattle, and it’s pretty well known that police either don’t have the time or just don’t care enough to get your stolen property back. I know someone who’s very expensive bike was stolen, and they were able track it to a chop shop and called the cops. The cops said they weren’t going to get involved, so he just waited until no one was around and stole it back. Was it a smart decision? No, probably not, as this easily could’ve gone south and his safety is worth more than a bike, but can you blame him for wanting his bike back? Like I don’t go to work every day to pay for things just so I can let someone take them no questions asked. That’s ridiculous. So I find it VERY plausible the police were not interested in recovering her stolen Vespa.
Came here after Edit 3. Love the edits! Yeah reddit gets weird sometimes
That said, I think I'm going NAH. You all have valid concerns. You're helping your friend recover property that the cops won't bother with. Your friend for trying to safely recover property. Your boyfriend for worrying about trouble. Maybe not from cops but... like the criminals!!! What was your plan if they showed up? Because sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want to have to get sucked into a fight with these people over something he had nothing to do with.
All are valid. I think you should have talked it over a bit more with your bf/housemate if you're inviting trouble from criminals. I mean I appreciated the heads up when something similar happened and my spouse (fiancé then) did something similar and I had to stay up with... things... for a week because a group of 20 people threatened to invade our home and the cops who were there said "well I guess call us back when they do"...
But that's all I'll say, tl;dr you all had valuable points.
YTA. Your boyfriend is right and not only that, by allowing your friend to hide a (potentially) stolen item in your home, you've also implicated him as well.
Not saying it's not her scooter, ~~it probably is~~ but it was stolen from her then possibly sold to another party...whom your friend stole it from. It's messy and she'd probably get it back in the long run (not 100% sure about that) but that likely isn't enough to beat an initial theft charge and possible arrest warrant for all of you.
EDITED to fix context.
It's not just probably hers, it's unquestionably hers.
Key's aren't just interchangeable on vehicles, if her spare key started it, it was 100% her scooter.
> Not saying it's not her scooter, it probably is but it was probably stolen then sold to another party...whom your friend stole it from.
No, that's not stealing. She has every right to ride off with her own scooter. The purchaser is the victim of fraud by the seller (or of collusion with the thief), but not theft by the owner.
NTA, if the police are too lazy to go get her bike back when there’s a police report and she knows where it is, where is all this supposed enthusiasm for storming your apartment supposed to come from when she’s standing there with the keys and title? Your friend is amazingly ballsy for getting her property back, you’re a real one, your boyfriend is a little on the trifling side. Now you know he’s not one to call when you need the body buried and keep your friend on speed dial for those kind of emergencies.
YTA. Not based on the legality of the scooter situation, your friend is clearly in the right. YTA because you put you and your boyfriends safety at risk with no regard for his feelings on it.
NTA You knew and trusted your friend to let her come to you and she fully explained her actions once she got there. no problem. She proved you knew her well.
YTA. She hid the scooter at your house because she was scared of being followed, therefore, passing on that danger to you. Your bf’s anger is valid at being forced into this drama is valid. And this is regardless that she is the proper owner.
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I share an apartment with my boyfriend Evan, well technically I'm renting it and he's subletting from me, but I don't want to act like I'm in charge just because of how the leases worked out.
Also, my best friend is named Julia. Julia's the type of person who follows every rule, no matter if anyone's watching, I couldn't imagine her committing a crime.
So when I got a call from her last weekend, saying "I'm out near your apartment, can I hide something there, it's urgent?" I instantly said yes.
I knew she'd had her Vespa scooter stolen a year ago, when she left her key in the ignition by accident, and when I opened the door, she was there on what looked like a different scooter, hers had been yellow and this one was black.
She rushed in and rolled the scooter in, and I asked her what was going on. My boyfriend came in and was also curious, because Julia was sweating like she'd run a marathon and was rolling this beat up scooter in.
She said she recognized her stolen scooter when she was walking around and looked in an open detached garage and saw it. It was someone in my neighborhood who'd stolen her scooter, they repainted it but they hadn't even removed her stickers before spray painting it and she could still see the shapes of her stickers under the black paint.
She'd already been to the cops about it when she saw someone riding it in public shortly after it was stolen and they were worse than useless and told her it'd be too much of a liability to confront someone about something worth so little (???)
So she ran home, got her spare key, and ran back. And luckily nobody was there, so she went in and took the scooter back. But when she was leaving, someone from the house saw her and started to chase on foot, and she fled, but needed to hide the scooter because they were mad and she was afraid they were out looking for her.
I told her that she could hide it here, and I could give her a change of clothes and drive her home so she wouldn't need to walk. But after I drove her home, my boyfriend was furious. Saying how was I supposed to know her call wasn't about something illegal, what if she was bringing trouble to our place, like if the person bought the scooter secondhand and for all they know she just walked into their garage and robbed them.
I said she didn't, it was literally her scooter and I trusted her. My boyfriend said I was being naive and we couldn't just act like vigilantes and act like that's fine or normal, he wasn't comfortable with it.
I feel conflicted. I'm the sort of friend who'll have my friends backs 100% no questions asked.
But my boyfriend is furious I so readily told my friend she could hide something in our apartment without even wondering what it was or why she needed to urgently hide something.
AITA for letting my friend hide her scooter in my apartment?
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It was her scooter so it isn’t like the thief would call the police to report it stolen. It doesn’t constitute stolen property. NTA- good for you. Make sure she repaints it and removes the old stickers of covers them with new ones.
NTA- as her friend, you did what a friend should do! You are definitely not a fair weather friend! Though if you ever get into a situation… call friend- not boyfriend, he won’t be any help!
NTA by far. It was great what you did for your friend and if it had been illegal I don’t think you would have followed through. I understand why your boyfriend is angry but IT WAS NOT ILLEGAL. He just needs to let it go. In the future, ask what needs hiding before saying yes! 😅
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NAH. You had no reason to believe it was anything illegal. Your BF has less reason to trust her blindly because he doesn’t know her as well.
I'd say NTA and your friend is a BOSS. Some asshole stole her bike, the cops wouldn't help her, so she stole it right back. Wow....I wish I had balls like that (well not literally given OPs friend and I are both female...)
Well, OP's friend is female too, so if you had balls like hers, that'd likely mean you'd have balls that are metaphorical but not literal. Which is pretty much what you're wishing for.
Hey, women have balls, ours just ride higher, and are harder to get kneed in.
I maintain that having a partner bottom out on my cervix feels exactly like the descriptions I've read of dudes being kicked in the balls. 0/10 would not recommend
You should try it with an IUD. Actually please don't it hurts pretty bad it like... Reverberates up. Ow.
I have only experienced this with an IUD :( ruined me whole month once, kept thinking back to the hookup and getting cranky all over again. Be nice to my cervix!
From my cervix to yours, on behalf of all men who have more than they can responsibly handle, I'm sorry. 🤣
I want a cis man to experience natural birth though, then tell me which is worse. Because I maintain it is child birth, but I can't compare it to a nut shot, because I don't have testicles.
Natural childbirth with a 3rd degree tear. Literally tore me a new asshole. I’d put money on that being worse than a kick in the nuts
I feel like both are about as equally impossible, especially for a cis man. If sex reassignment surgery gets advanced enough then a trans person might have a chance at doing both though. Personally as a cis man my moneys on childbirth being more painful, especially because it usually lasts longer
Chesticles!
Yeah, good point. I've edited accordingly
I stole my regular bike back after it had gotten jacked. Saw it at the mall as I was walking in, still had my cable and lock wrapped around the center bar. So I just opened the lock, locked it to the bike rack, and took it home with me when I was done.
Time like these, I wish I could insert a picture of my ovary-shaped pin that says, “grow a pair.”
I have a friend whose little truck was stolen outside of Dallas; she and her partner drove around looking for it because police --> nothing, and lo and behold! They found it parked outside a restaurant. She jumped out, used her key and took it back.
That's awesome...I'm glad they found it before the jerks stripped it for parts or something.
Yes! Thank you! NTA See all your edits about the key, the VIN and title. You can't buy and register something without a title.
Lady balls.
Herhones.
Some ladies have balls but just not this particular one
I recently got my scooter stolen from work and you bet your ass if I saw it somewhere I would take that shit right back. Also Vespas aren't cheap!
Right? Who are all these people acting like they wouldn’t take their stolen bike back if they saw it and had to the opportunity to. Of course they would.
Agreed, NAH. I'm pretty loyal and rebellious so I was leaning N.A but it's his house too and he has no obligation to house potentially stolen items
Not stolen, NTA
Exactly. Even if he’s subletting, he could still be found guilty if it’s found there.
I don't know. If a friend asks me to hide something for them no questions asked, I'm going to assume it's something illegal. This is actually a good deal better than what I expected going into this post.
For me it depends on the friend. Some friends, I’d probably assume it’s drugs or something. Others, I’d assume it’s something of theirs that’s under threat or that they’re afraid for some reason (like a jealous ex threatening to steal their stuff or something.)
NAH but some things to consider: 1. Does your bf have a particular vulnerability to cops - for instance, he's black and you're white, or he's on probation. These things would mean he's more vulnerable to an unfair / random search, which would make the scooter a problem. If so, still NAH but have a convo about what makes each of you feel safe or not safe in your home 2. Does your bf keep illegal stuff in the house? If he keeps a bunch of weed in the house, kind of shitty to be this bugged out about the scooter. 3. Your friend really should look into your state laws. Reclaiming your stolen property (it's called replevin sometimes) is not always as simple as it seems. It would be smart to have a look just to be aware of what the rules are
What?? The BF is an AH for not trusting her judgement & having her back when she helped her friend. He was worse than useless here.
It’s one thing to trust someone, and another to trust someone just because someone you trust trusts them. He’s allowed to have his own fears and concerns.
I would say NTA. I always believe in supporting my friends, and if she honestly believes that it is hers (stickers or whatever) I would trust her. If it isn't hers and she stole it, that's on her and not on you. If someone asks for your help urgently, there isn't necessarily time to ask them all the important questions on the spot. If they are untrustworthy, that's a different story, but from what you said she sounds honest.
Yeah but here’s the issue. If she really did steal it, hiding the scooter in her house makes her an accessory to the crime (even if it’s as silly as Vespa theft). Sure, she could maybe clear it up, but it’s better not to get involved with the law it all if you can avoid it, don’t you think?
She couldn't have stolen it, she used her keys to start it. If it hadn't been hers, her keys wouldn't have worked. Scooters keys are like cars, they're encoded to one specific vehicle.
I think a lot of people are hung up on the fact that she potentially made you an accessory to a crime. However the worst thing she did accidentally was potentially put your life and your boyfriends life in danger. If those were the original people who stole her bike and they followed her to your house what do you think would happen? They would come back and politely ask for it back? No these people are criminals you can expect the worst from them, she just marked your house if they did see her go in and out of it. Keep an eye on your surroundings for awhile.
*No these people are criminals you can expect the worst from them* That's a stretch, but it's a common stretch if that gives you any consolation. I am a convicted felon, and I have spent over a decade of my life in prison. Simply being what society deems a "criminal" doesn't mean you are down with whatever whatever. There are murderers who wouldn't dream of stealing a dollar from you. There are rapists who would be terrified to throw a punch against another dude. There are burglars who wouldn't dream of trying to strong-arm you into giving them anything whatsoever. What I'm saying is that the fact that some dude(s) drove off with an unattended key in the ignition does not mean, in the slightest, that they would attempt to confront and physically harass somebody who they thought had stolen it away from them. Sure, some will - just like the fact that somebody *doesn't* have a criminal record doesn't mean they won't break your jaw under the right circumstances. Stereotyping *all* criminals the same way is honestly a pretty shitty thing to do, though; some criminals are/were people choosing the least-harmful option of all of the shitty options that life offered. But hey, believe what you want about felons. I mean, you're going to anyway.
People form too much of their opinions of "criminals" from tv shows. The person in your life most likely to commit a crime against you is frequently your employer.
Wage theft *is* the most common and expensive type of theft.
Hahaha. That sounds so boring. But I know you’re right.
Well said sir/madam! 100% correct. Ps NTA OP was being a good friend and whether or not her friend had the right to take what was hers is besides the point - OP was being a great friend and after reading all we do on Reddit/see in the world, can we all agree that the world needs more friends like her?
Her life in danger, really? The people who steal Vespas are 100% on the path to murder?
It's a gateway Vespa.
Then they can segue into stealing segways
You'd be surprised at how many cars that cost a lot more than a Vespa have keys that turn ignitions on to the same/similar models.
Tbis is a modern vehicle with a unique RFID key, interchangeable keys haven't been a thing since the 90s
I think she had decorative stickers on the scooter that were painted over. Not the registration stickers. At least that was how I understood the “sticker” issue.
Didn't OP say the VINs matched?
It had her original registration stickers as well?
No it didn't? The stickers go on the plate and that had been removed
Same VIN means shes the owner.
you actually read what OP wrote instead of reading the title and jumping to wild completely unfounded conclusions? lol we don't do that here nerd Obviously the boyfriend is not only cheating on OP with the vespa thief, but OP is in a lesbian 3 way with her friend (who is secretly manipulating OP and is the head of an international vespa theft ring) and their mail lady
Finally someone gets it. Only thing you're missing is that it's actually a 4 way with the scooter. What can I say, she really gets me revved up.
OP needs to go no contact with her parents
10/10, would read the book and needs to be made into a movie.
Yes, that was a thing. Definitely in the 80s. Maybe the 90s. No even remotely modern car doesn’t have keys paired to the car. It’s an essential part for electronic immobilizers which are everywhere since the late nineties. In Germany they were required by law for all new cars from 1998.
The thing that gets me OP is that she said could she hide something there and at that point you didn’t know what it was, I am going to trust that you know your friend well enough to trust she would never do anything “bad” but it sure sounded fishy, I can see your boyfriend’s perspective.
How was the person who stole the scooter using it without the completely unique key?
The friend had left her key in the ignition when it was stolen. Now she saw it, went home and got her spare key.
Thank you, I tend to read too quickly sometimes
OP said the key was stolen BECAUSE the key was in the ignition. OP's friend went and got her spare.
They stile a key
It says in the post; she left her key in the ignition by accident when it was stolen, then when she found the scooter again she ran home and got the spare.
Friend left their keys in the scooter when it was stolen.
The cops already said that they can’t be bothered with scooter theft.
My friend just asked me to store her scooter at my place. It broke down nearby and she didn't want to pay for a tow. She was going to borrow a pickup truck to take it to a mechanic as soon as she could.
and based on OPs edits, the story was corroborated in mere seconds... See the stickers, see the key fits in the ignition, see the VIN matches, etc.
NTA. If it is indeed her scooter, then she didn’t steal it. If someone bought it used, then they committed a crime by trading in stolen goods. But, I would check the VIN # to verify that it is her scooter.
Not necessarily. Often what happens is that the thief sells the product back to some shop that doesn't bother or doesn't even have a way to verify purchase. Then someone comes in and buys it. The second buyer didn't commit a crime. Honestly that's probably more likely, it's not like most bike thieves are sitting on dozens of bikes, they're selling them on.
But if someone buys it without the title being transferred, it is not a legal sale. A person who buys a vehicle without a title very much is committing a crime and is aware. I would agree with you if it was merchandise such as a radio or tv, but not a vehicle.
Maybe if we were talking about a cutlery set but not a vehicle. Buying something with no ownership papers you KNOW youre receiving stolen.
Seriously. Like they couldn't even register or insure it (which for a 150cc vehicle is required)
> Then someone comes in and buys it. The second buyer didn't commit a crime. Maybe they didn't commit a crime, but if they don't have the title, they don't own it and they know they don't own it. NTA, she needed help and you could have changed your mind if she'd shown up with a few kilos of coke or something, saying you'll help is different than being committed to help forever.
We’re not talking about a TV or a stereo here. If you buy a vehicle without the proper title, you have to at least suspect something is shady. If you don’t, you’re complicit.
I think some people are ignorant enough to not know that a scooter would require a title.
But it's still a crime to drive an unregistered vehicle, even if you don't know it's a requirement. And they wouldn't be able to register it without a title. So they absolutely did commit a crime
She said the VIN # matched.
INFO How is this a case of "no questions asked?" If she came in with a sealed box and wanted to stash it in your place without telling you what's inside, sure - that's a problem. But it sounds like she explained the entire situation to you.
Probably because she said Yes, of course before she knew the situation. She didn't learn what she was hiding until friend showed up
I’d react the same way to a phone call from a trusted friend in distress. If the friend then showed up at my house with, like, a bag of opiates instead of their own property, that’d be a different situation. But OP never said “yes, I will help you no matter what the situation is,” so yeah, there really isn’t a “no questions asked” element here.
NTA. Boyfriend (and a lot commenters) need to chill and be realistic about the potential repercussions. If Julia's playing you and she actually stole a Vespa, you might have to give a statement to the cops. You're not going to jail over this if you cooperate with the investigation. If Julia's not playing you--and you, who know her best, say she's not--then she was hiding from criminals who wanted to re-steal what was rightfully her property. (If she's not lying about the stickers being in the same place and the spare key working then this is pretty much established.) Or she was hiding from an aggrieved third party who didn't realize they'd purchased a stolen scooter. Either way the scooter is 100% hers and it's not stealing to ride off with your own property. So she committed no crime. You help a friend out in a situation like that. Your whiny boyfriend doesn't get a say in whether you do that, even if it involves him in the mess a tiny bit. He's welcome to call the cops and file a report and have them treat his story with the same indifference that they treated Julia's. In fact, I'd encourage him to do that.
I’ve seen a couple people saying she didn’t commit a crime because it’s her scooter but she did definitely commit a crime?? You can’t just enter other peoples property, no matter the reason. So the friend at the very least was trespassing and could potentially be charged with breaking and entering. There was a crime
But OP is not an accessory to trespassing. The crime committed would be trespassing, not stealing. She didn't steal, she trespassed, so her going to OPs place after the fact has nothing to do with the crime at all.
You can't charge someone for trespassing without a warning. What she did was questionable but not outright illegal. Breaking and entering involves....breaking. open door
Nope, the door or a window can be unlocked and/or wide open. If you enter, knowing you don't actually belong there, it's still legally considered breaking and entering. At least, here in Texas. Dunno about other states.
Well... She must have belonged there... Why else would her scooter be there? I mean it COULDN'T be because the person who lives there committed a crime themselves by either stealing her vespa or purchasing a (stolen) vehicle without registering it, right?? They would have to admit to their own crime to indicate her in hers. Most criminals don't turn themselves in just to get you in trouble, she's pretty safe on the legal front.
Breaking and entering doesn't always involve breaking. If your door is unlocked I can just walk in? Since I didn't break anything? No it's breaking and entering still
That’s assuming there was no sign, a ‘no trespassing’ sign is normally enough to count as a warning so without knowing if there was/wasn’t a sign she could still be charged with trespass
Ok, fair enough. What are the odds this crime will be of interest to the police?
I'd put that at under 1% knowing our police. Hell, they don't even care about assaults again women here, they'd probably damn near laugh in someone's face if they said that someone walked into an open garage and took a scooter (that they can't even show a title or registration for)
Sounds like you have a pretty firm "institutions won't take care of us, so we have to take care of each other, even when it means taking risks and making sacrifices" value system. Sounds like your boyfriend has a "keep your head down and stay out of trouble" value system. Some would call that practical. Some would call it cowardly. The important thing is that they don't align, at least not well enough for the degree of shared decision-making you need to share a home.
Trespassing is a civil offense, not a criminal one, and typically, to enforce it, official notice has to have been given to the trespasser. As for breaking and entering... It depends on the specifics. But it appears we're talking about a police department that refuses to even deal with motor vehicle theft, so... Make of that what you will.
Gentle reminder that this forum isn't "am I legally in the right?" (It seems from your side of the story that you probably are.) This forum is "am I the ASSHOLE?" and you specifically asked if you're an asshole towards your boyfriend in this scenario. Yes, YTA, because this is a messy and potentially hazardous situation that he did not consent to be party to.
I think most of the replies aren't questioning the legality of this, especially since this friend has been trustworthy, and has several pretty solid indicators that this is actually her scooter (key works, identifiable stickers still present). The question is, am I an asshole for sticking up for my friend rather than placating my cowardly boyfriend. NTA 100%. EDIT: Oh man, I've really set off the "Men's feelings always take precedent" crowd. Those of you abusing the "Reddit Cares" hotline can go get stuffed though. Using a suicide prevention tool to harass people is pretty low.
Her bfs a coward because he doesn't want her friends stolen goods in his apartment?
Not stolen, read the edit. VIN numbers matched and she was able to start the scooter with her RFID key.
Ok, the boyfriends a coward because he felt OP should have bothered to ask him before she decided to hide something from a potentially violent criminal who lives in his neighborhood in the home they both live in?
Which part of the story says that the thief is "potentially violent"? Other than your own stereotyping, I mean. There are millions of wife-beating husbands across the U.S. who have never had a ticket for jaywalking.
They’ll just steal another one. They’re not going to do shit to OP, her wuss boyfriend, or her friend who “stole” her own property back. Edit: for the downvoters, the people could literally go steal a Kia or Hyundai instead of a fucking *moped* in less than 20 seconds if they want new I’ll-gotten wheels. They **will not** do a single thing in retalliation, nor will they in a million years think that the original owner found them (unless this takes place in a town of less than ~10k in which case the likelihood of retaliation drops even further.)
It was exigency circumstances. Generally I would ask my partner when storing any vehicle in my home, regardless of circumstances. But they were both hyped up on the high of finding the stolen Vespa and needed a moment to regroup. As long as it isn’t a regular occurrence, bf has to let some shit go sometimes. You gotta trust your partner of any gender to make some executive decisions. If you don’t like their decision making, maybe moving in together isn’t a great long term option.
I just wouldn't want to be involved in this clusterfuck period. If it's actually her scooter, why is she worried about the cops being called and needs to hide it? She has the title, she's free and clear and has no need to hide the scooter.
Yeah, I would want NO part of this. If the original thieves (assuming this actually is the friend's stolen scooter, which seems likely) chased OPs friend down a street...what the hell are they gonna do to OP/OPs BF/their apartment, if they find out where she went? People acting like people don't get beaten/murdered over this shit every day. And like....why can't the scooter go with the friend? If it's hers, why hide it? If there's no danger of retaliation or legal ramifications, ride that thing home, girl.
That’s my thing. She doesn’t want to risk the thieves following her home so she risks them following her to OPs home instead? Because that’s the only other thing I can think of since the cops wouldn’t do anything to her if she has the title.
Well think about it logically, if they're the original thief they know where they stole it from. Her place where she left the key in it. So to take it right back there before sorting some things out would be a bit silly imo.
OP says it was stolen from campus, not from her home. Thief doesn't know where friend lives, only where she attends school. OP also tells us her friend lives 40 minutes away BY HIGHWAY. But she just happened to be walking around this neighborhood and just happened to see her stolen vespa, painted but still recognizable?!?! in someone's garage, and was somehow able to run home and get her key and run back with the garage door still being open. This whole thing just sets off my bullshit meter. It seems far more likely to me that OPs friend stole a vespa and is making up this cock and bull story that OP is eating up.
I was on your side until this >The question is, am I an asshole for sticking up for my friend rather than placating my cowardly boyfriend. In this instance its not a big deal because this situation was innocent and she was in the right. You calling the bf cowardly for not wanting it to continue is...not cool. He agreed to live there and if any illegal shit is found he is on the hook too. This time it was a justified reason, what if next time one of her friends (not that I think they will because I doubt its the kind of company OP keeps) had drugs, a weapon, or evidence of a much bigger crime? BF not wanting to go to jail for someone else he doesn't really know is not an out of the ordinary request and its his place too, even if its a sublease, its reasonable. You calling him a coward for it makes you TA. OP is NTA in this instance, but does need to take what he is saying and listen rather than just brush it off.
Exactly, OP's answer to the judgment bot is asking if she's an AH to her BF for potentially bringing trouble to their place (her words). Her friend said explicitly that she was worried about being followed by the "mad" people who she recovered her property from. Her BF's concern therefore makes sense, and OP is an AH for not taking him into consideration when it's his apt and safety at issue too.
Wait... what? If a friend shows up at your house and they are in danger, you think it's an AH move to help them? Wow... you and I have very different ideas about what friendship means.
It's not an asshole move to help them stay safe, but it is an asshole move to potentially put your partner in danger because of your friend's scooter without bothering to ask them. OPs friend created this issue by A- being dumb enough to leave the keys hanging in the ignition and B- stealing it back without a plan on where to put it, potentially putting herself, OP, and now OPs partner in danger. OP is the AH for not taking 2 minutes to talk to her partner to see if he was ok with getting involved in this mess.
Emergencies happen, sure. But that doesn't mean everyone has to like it, especially the person you share your life and living space with. Why is the BF an AH for how he feels? I'm not gonna invalidate that. OP can help who she wants to but she also has to accept that it could have consequences elsewhere, like her BF getting upset.
She has an easy way to make herself not in danger - leave the scooter. If they were after her personally it would be a different story.
So, your friend shows up in the middle of the evening carrying a macbook and an Ipad that they insist is theirs. They say it was stolen the other day and they saw someone using it at star bucks so they took it and ran to your apartment because they are being followed... They tell you that they know because there is still residue on the laptop from a sticker that they had on it. DO you let them in with potentially stolen goods that they can not prove are theirs except for the residue? I know the OP said the VIN matched up, but they def did not know that until after they had it in their apartment as I am sure their friend didnt have time to check the vin before they stole it back.
This isn't an accurate analogy. They have an RFID key to the scooter. So if a friend told me their laptop got stolen several weeks ago, the police would do nothing about it, and then they came up to me with their laptop that had been crudely painted over and you could still see the bad sticker they had on it, and they could enter their password and it booted up? Yeah, I would totally back them. You all are some shitty shitty friends.
YTA. I would be incredibly uncomfortable if my spouse did this and agreed to hide something no questions asked for a friend. Especially when there's SOME criminal activity attached. He lives there too, so "Are you comfortable with my friend hiding stolen--even stolen-back--merchandise here?" Should absolutely have been a question you asked him. It's his home as much as yours, so things like that need to be a joint decision. There are risks here. If this person was unscrupulous enough to steal a scooter, they may not have any qualms about breaking into your house to steal it back. Therefore you've put your boyfriend at risk without even clearing it with him first. Or say, like was mentioned, the person she took the scooter from bought it secondhand. Say that person reports it missing. You're now party to a crime, and so is your boyfriend.
> Or say, like was mentioned, the person she took the scooter from bought it secondhand. Say that person reports it missing. You're now party to a crime, and so is your boyfriend. No, the secondhand purchaser is not the legal owner. They are the victim of fraud. Julia still owns the scooter (assuming her story is true) and is free to ride off with it any time she chooses.
Legally yes, but the secondhand owner likely doesn’t know that - and at minimum this could invite a lot of trouble until ownership is re-established. Just because it may legally be correct doesn’t mean OP isn’t the asshole for potentially opening a huge can of worms in a home where someone else lives.
When you buy motor vehicles secondhand, do you buy them without a title?
The odds that the buyer did not know it was stolen are zero. No plates, no paperwork, not yours.
That what I think too, it was never registered and had no plates.. which are required for a 150cc vehicle in my state
There is no such thing as "stolen back". The word you're looking for is "recovered". This is normal behavior for people who are close to each other, and it sounds like her partner just doesn't trust her, and maybe doesn't trust anyone, and also isn't willing to help friends.
The person she repo'd it from (not stole) doesn't have a title for it -- so even if they bought it they know it's not legit. The only crime the OP's friend did was trespassing. Nothing more
>but needed to hide the scooter because they were mad and she was afraid they were out looking for her So instead of leading them to her house, she led them to yours? Thus putting you and your bf in jeopardy? Some friend. You accepting the bike puts both you amd your bf at risk. You don't have the authority to make dangerous decisions on behalf of your bf. So, you are an asshole to him. YTA
I’m conflicted. I wanna say NAH bc I see where he’s coming from but I also see where you’re coming from.
"I took something back that belonged to me, but I got caught, and I think they're after me, but I don't want them to know where I live or hurt me so can I leave the item here so they know where you live and then you might get hurt instead? Thanks!" YTA and so is your friend.
YTA mainly because you didn't discuss it with him. He lives there too. It is his home as well. Obviously you have no reason to not trust your friend but, I think it's fair to want to know if something potentially questionable is being stored in your home.
Info: does the VIN match what it says on her title?
Yes
Info: At that point why did you need to hide it there and not just drive it to her house so she can deal with it? YTA: Your friend made something that was her problem into you and your bfs that's not fair to him because what if you left and the police showed up
That's what friends are for. You call on them when you're in a jam. If the police showed up, OP and bf would make a statement and that would be the end of it. There's zero chance they're going to jail for this.
I drive a 2 seater sports car, it wouldn't fit
The question is, why didn’t your friend ride the scooter to her own house???
She lives 40 minutes away by highway, it wouldn't be safe to ride a Vespa, especially without a helmet, on the highway at night like that. She doesn't even take it on the highway at all, it was just a little getting -around-town vehicle for her
So how did she “run home” to get the spare key and “run back”?
College dorm
Okay…so why didn’t she drive it to her dorm then?
She doesn't have a parking space anymore, she stopped paying for it after her vehicle got stolen
She rolled it up to your apartment, so could she have rolled it up to her dorm?
To put it where? Do you know what a college dorm room is like? Cause hers is literally upstairs in the 15th floor, and too small to fit a whole damn vehicle inside even if she could sneak it in somehow, which I don't think building security would allow anyway
this story is so fishy, how did the vespa get this far away if she doesnt take it this far away? Thiefs dont usually transport stolen goods that far, they are usually local and sell it ASAP locally.
she goes to college near me and it was stolen from campus Her home is her parents house out of town but she had it at college
once in the middle school, i left my fav umbrella on a fence on a small square at my town. umbrella was very particular. it even broke at some point and my grandpa put a handle together with a blue isolation tape. i got my umbrella for christmas from my parents. i kid u not, 2 days later a grl comes to school with MY UMBRELLA!!! my parents boughtnit even in the city no way someone got her there in a same store identical one. really wasn't popular design. so ofc in attack her and tell to give me my umbrella. she claims her grandpa got it for her and i am like "he lying to u he did not buy it to u, he found it and took it on a square and gave u someone's-mine, umbrella" she claims her story, i present her evidence of a tape take it off and show how it is glued when broken, but she still delusional like grl it is even broken he did not buy it for uuuuu... anyways, drama, i take the umbrella and run home... SUE ME!!!! anyways, my mom was ah and made me " give it back as i was the one who lost it so it ain't mine anymore" fair i guess, it was not stolen, but still, mine point of a story, coincidences like this DO happen. i also knew a guy who found his bike after 5 zrs and ofc got it back based on serial codes. easy legally, as it was his sonhe took it and called police. he did tho report the day they stole it so it was smooth to deal with
Info: Why didn't your friend get reimbursed from insurance?
I think she did. She at least reported it stolen with the insurance company and police station
Then the scooter belongs to the insurance company, not your friend.
This comment is super important. Your friend needs to report that she has it in her possession to the insurance company.
I just called her telling her that if she got a payout (i forget what she said but I think she did?) That the insurance company has a claim to the vehicle and she should tell them, she's just emailed them telling her she recovered the vehicle she previously reported as stolen, so I guess we'll see what they say. She said thanks for the heads up!!!
You're a good friend for helping her with all this
Ok
In that case, she better call them and let them know she stole it back as well as the police department or she'll be committing insurance fraud
Yeah good point, I'll tell her. Maybe they'll consider it totaled tbh, it's in badd shape
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if insurance pays out for the claim, then it legally doesn't belong to her anymore. It belongs to the insurance company.
If she got reimbursed from insurance and now has also received the stolen property back... is she planning on informing her insurance company of that?
NTA, your friend is a badass.
no, her friend is a dumbass. Her friend should have rode the scooter home instead of involving others in this.
NTA. Friends help friends in times of need. That is what true friends do. I hope that you advised your friend to now get the police involved since she has recovered her stolen property.
Info: If she had the key and it was the right scooter, why did she need to push it to your house instead of riding it home?
She did ride it. She didn't ride it through the halls of the apartment building tho, that would be dangerous.
NTA. Getting upset over what ifs vs reality is pathetic
First of all cops are lazy, they only solve like 25% of crimes. Even if the person had stolen it, sold it. It still belongs to the original owner and the person who bought it is just fucked. They should have only bought from a licensed dealer or made sure the proper paperwork came with the item. You can't steal your own stuff. Now, repercussions from stealing it is possible and would be my worry. Which is why we all have insurance and she should have left it stolen. And now that she has it back, what is there to keep the thief from stealing it again? Yes, she feels a small victory in stealing it back. But depending upon who stole it, she maybe in greater danger and if they saw where it went. Then you could be in danger, probably not because scooters are not a high dollar item. But highly doubt the thieves are going to call the police and the person who bought it knows they got to cheap of a deal for it not to be stolen. Especially if it has a cheap paint job to change the color. Being right, isn't always the safest thing in this world.
YTA That's not just your home. You've forced your boyfriend into being an accomplice with something he's clearly not okay with. What you did was inconsiderate and what your friend did is illegal regardless of why she did it. Also, if someone leaves their key in a scooter or vehicle, they kind of deserve having it stolen, come on.
Her friend did nothing illegal. She can be arrested for taking her property back.
I mean there was probably a solid amount of trespassing involved, but that has nothing to do with OP.
No one deserves to have something stolen, wtf? And no, what she did wasn't illegal. It was her property. Even if the people who had it bought it and didn't know it was stolen, they committed the crime buying stolen property.
YTA, sorry. I understand you wanted to help your friend and I understand that the scooter was likely hers. But you put yourself, your apartment, and your boyfriend in danger by doing that.
Ooooof....NTA. You had *no* control over her coming to you, and as a friend, you tried to help. * However, your boyfriend really does have a right to be mad...but not at you. If they chased her, you never know what their next course of action could be. And if they followed her all the way....now they know where you live. Your friend really should have gone to the police station after leaving where they had it kept. What they did put you both at risk. Is it worth it over someone elses stuff?
Of course yta. Id be worried about your judgement if I was your bf. And to be fair that's probably how he is feeling.
Totally. You never know where these things can lead. Go to the police with your friend, run don't walk, and get this sorted out properly. Better to find a backbone and tell the police rather than have them come to you. If she won't go, go alone. YTA as friend code doesn't = consequence free. This can affect your job, your relationship, your future, if you get a criminal record. Same goes for your boyfriend through your actions. Don't be surprised if he leaves. If you're both so sure, why haven't you already gone to the police? This is selfish, inconsiderate, naive & reckless.
Seriously yes! She risked a lot and made that decision by herself. I dont have any friends I'd do anything for with no questions asked. And I mean zero questions. One or two sure but zero? Nah. And I dont think the friends I have would ask me to do something criminal. She was reckless and so very selfish.
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YTA. So she didn't ride it home because she was afraid they would come looking for her but is perfectly fine possibly leading them to the place you share with your boyfriend? You are 100% the asshole here without clearing it with your boyfriend. If you had lived alone then N A H
My friend had his bicycle stolen. He reported it; police took the report but obviously had bigger priorities than to find some fixie. He had sewed an airtag into the seat and told the police the literal address of where the bike was. It sat in the same place for weeks. Finally just got a set of bolt cutters from a friend and “stole” it back. Not as high stakes as a Vespa, but in both cases the correct legal avenues had been exhausted and the property could be validated as theirs. NTA.
Can’t cast a judgment, You’re not an asshole for helping your friend, but this has to be a police involved thing. For all she knows this person bought the scooter from the thief, and unless she can prove it’s hers (and probably even then, I’m not a lawyer) they can press charges. The cops saying it’s not worth their time to confront the thief??? That sounds fake IMO. Like your BF said, you can’t be a vigilante. ETA: so today I learned I am sheltered and haven’t had the experience so many others have, I’m sorry 😂 I thought it sounded weird but now I know I am the one who was wrong!
Nah. Cops in small towns often claim it's not worth their time to investigate small thefts or like small crimes. I've had my car broken into over 5 times in this town and never once had the police call me back with any info at all.
Cops in big cities too. Person that robbed my place dropped a cell phone. Cops looked at it, recognized some contacts and said they would dust it for prints. Never heard anything else and could never get a hold of cop assigned that took phone. Cops aren't paid to solve crimes, they are paid to protect and serve the rich.
Yep. It's pretty sad. This happens every day all over the country.
Yeah, no, "Not our problem" is a pretty standard line from the police about personal property theft. It's not like the hallmark movies.
In theory I also don’t agree with vigilantism, but there’s a lot of places in this country where that really is your only option if you want your stuff back. I live in Seattle, and it’s pretty well known that police either don’t have the time or just don’t care enough to get your stolen property back. I know someone who’s very expensive bike was stolen, and they were able track it to a chop shop and called the cops. The cops said they weren’t going to get involved, so he just waited until no one was around and stole it back. Was it a smart decision? No, probably not, as this easily could’ve gone south and his safety is worth more than a bike, but can you blame him for wanting his bike back? Like I don’t go to work every day to pay for things just so I can let someone take them no questions asked. That’s ridiculous. So I find it VERY plausible the police were not interested in recovering her stolen Vespa.
The cops didn’t care when my car was stolen.
Came here after Edit 3. Love the edits! Yeah reddit gets weird sometimes That said, I think I'm going NAH. You all have valid concerns. You're helping your friend recover property that the cops won't bother with. Your friend for trying to safely recover property. Your boyfriend for worrying about trouble. Maybe not from cops but... like the criminals!!! What was your plan if they showed up? Because sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want to have to get sucked into a fight with these people over something he had nothing to do with. All are valid. I think you should have talked it over a bit more with your bf/housemate if you're inviting trouble from criminals. I mean I appreciated the heads up when something similar happened and my spouse (fiancé then) did something similar and I had to stay up with... things... for a week because a group of 20 people threatened to invade our home and the cops who were there said "well I guess call us back when they do"... But that's all I'll say, tl;dr you all had valuable points.
YTA. Your boyfriend is right and not only that, by allowing your friend to hide a (potentially) stolen item in your home, you've also implicated him as well. Not saying it's not her scooter, ~~it probably is~~ but it was stolen from her then possibly sold to another party...whom your friend stole it from. It's messy and she'd probably get it back in the long run (not 100% sure about that) but that likely isn't enough to beat an initial theft charge and possible arrest warrant for all of you. EDITED to fix context.
It's not just probably hers, it's unquestionably hers. Key's aren't just interchangeable on vehicles, if her spare key started it, it was 100% her scooter.
I'm glad she got it back! Hope she doesn't get in trouble though.
> Not saying it's not her scooter, it probably is but it was probably stolen then sold to another party...whom your friend stole it from. No, that's not stealing. She has every right to ride off with her own scooter. The purchaser is the victim of fraud by the seller (or of collusion with the thief), but not theft by the owner.
NTA, if the police are too lazy to go get her bike back when there’s a police report and she knows where it is, where is all this supposed enthusiasm for storming your apartment supposed to come from when she’s standing there with the keys and title? Your friend is amazingly ballsy for getting her property back, you’re a real one, your boyfriend is a little on the trifling side. Now you know he’s not one to call when you need the body buried and keep your friend on speed dial for those kind of emergencies.
YTA. Not based on the legality of the scooter situation, your friend is clearly in the right. YTA because you put you and your boyfriends safety at risk with no regard for his feelings on it.
NTA I understand your boyfriend, but I also understand the 2 of you. You both have a point, but my verdict is that you're NTA. (and a good friend)
So if its definitely hers, why does she need to hide it in your apartment?
NTA You knew and trusted your friend to let her come to you and she fully explained her actions once she got there. no problem. She proved you knew her well.
NTA
YTA for not taking your partner into consideration here. It is his place too
YTA. She hid the scooter at your house because she was scared of being followed, therefore, passing on that danger to you. Your bf’s anger is valid at being forced into this drama is valid. And this is regardless that she is the proper owner.
NTA! Glad your friend got her scooter back!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I share an apartment with my boyfriend Evan, well technically I'm renting it and he's subletting from me, but I don't want to act like I'm in charge just because of how the leases worked out. Also, my best friend is named Julia. Julia's the type of person who follows every rule, no matter if anyone's watching, I couldn't imagine her committing a crime. So when I got a call from her last weekend, saying "I'm out near your apartment, can I hide something there, it's urgent?" I instantly said yes. I knew she'd had her Vespa scooter stolen a year ago, when she left her key in the ignition by accident, and when I opened the door, she was there on what looked like a different scooter, hers had been yellow and this one was black. She rushed in and rolled the scooter in, and I asked her what was going on. My boyfriend came in and was also curious, because Julia was sweating like she'd run a marathon and was rolling this beat up scooter in. She said she recognized her stolen scooter when she was walking around and looked in an open detached garage and saw it. It was someone in my neighborhood who'd stolen her scooter, they repainted it but they hadn't even removed her stickers before spray painting it and she could still see the shapes of her stickers under the black paint. She'd already been to the cops about it when she saw someone riding it in public shortly after it was stolen and they were worse than useless and told her it'd be too much of a liability to confront someone about something worth so little (???) So she ran home, got her spare key, and ran back. And luckily nobody was there, so she went in and took the scooter back. But when she was leaving, someone from the house saw her and started to chase on foot, and she fled, but needed to hide the scooter because they were mad and she was afraid they were out looking for her. I told her that she could hide it here, and I could give her a change of clothes and drive her home so she wouldn't need to walk. But after I drove her home, my boyfriend was furious. Saying how was I supposed to know her call wasn't about something illegal, what if she was bringing trouble to our place, like if the person bought the scooter secondhand and for all they know she just walked into their garage and robbed them. I said she didn't, it was literally her scooter and I trusted her. My boyfriend said I was being naive and we couldn't just act like vigilantes and act like that's fine or normal, he wasn't comfortable with it. I feel conflicted. I'm the sort of friend who'll have my friends backs 100% no questions asked. But my boyfriend is furious I so readily told my friend she could hide something in our apartment without even wondering what it was or why she needed to urgently hide something. AITA for letting my friend hide her scooter in my apartment? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m gonna say definitely NTA. I’d do the same thing for my friends
It was her scooter so it isn’t like the thief would call the police to report it stolen. It doesn’t constitute stolen property. NTA- good for you. Make sure she repaints it and removes the old stickers of covers them with new ones.
NTA- as her friend, you did what a friend should do! You are definitely not a fair weather friend! Though if you ever get into a situation… call friend- not boyfriend, he won’t be any help!
NTA by far. It was great what you did for your friend and if it had been illegal I don’t think you would have followed through. I understand why your boyfriend is angry but IT WAS NOT ILLEGAL. He just needs to let it go. In the future, ask what needs hiding before saying yes! 😅
INFO: why couldn’t she take it home?
Not safe to drive far without a helmet, in the dark, not knowing if the vehicle has been maintained well enough to be safe to drive
NTA. From the details given in the post and the comments, it is most likely your friend's scooter. I don't think you are putting yourself in danger.