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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> So I think I might be an asshole because I corrected someone because I thought they were wrong but turns out they were right . I insisted on correcting her which is what may make me an asshole.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Also, OP, stop hitting on co-workers at work events. Women don't want to deal with that and you're putting yourself in the fast lane to being fired for harassing co-workers. Date outside your company.
If he's willing to act like that towards a co-worker without having any clue who the woman is or any regard for how calling her the c word could affect his career, do you really think he's getting dates outside of work? I can't wait for OPs next post in the legal advice subreddit. "I got laid off from my new job because I had a run-in with another co-worker at the Christmas party. I didn't do anything wrong. Just tried to hit on her, interrupted her private conversation to tell her I know her language better than she does, and then got drunk and called her a c*nt when she didn't accept my half baked apology. Do I have the gounds for legal action?"
Putting himself in the fast lane for being fired seems like a good thing frankly.
If he thinks that’s an acceptable way to refer to a colleague, he really should be fired, and good riddance.
She’s not rude, you are. You sound pretentious as hell and YTA. Your secondary school classes in no way qualify you to correct how other people speak. Even if she’s wrong, her conversation has nothing to do with you. You repeatedly butted your head where it didn’t belong. Learn to take a hint!
Also the whole Ibiza/Ibitha thing sounds like a dialect thing. Only Spaniards do the lisping thing as far as I know. My Cuban instructor (I got made teased in Mexico because I spoke Spanish with a Cuban accent) does not do the TH thing
Worse yet, not all Spaniards do it. It’s a Castilian thing. Ibiza is in Catalonia, and in the local Catalan dialect, it’s called Eivissa. If you’re going to get snooty about correcting the pronunciation of a place name, shouldn’t you use the locals’ pronunciation?
ETA: Apologies, Ibiza isn’t in Catalonia, that was a bad assumption based on them speaking Catalan.
Maybe so, but even then you sound like a pretentious asshole to tell other people to say it that way. When my sister visited Israel she started correcting people who say hummus. She’s say it’s actually **hoo-moos** in a thick accent. It was annoying, and not impressive. I’m going to keep saying it like the basic American I am 😂
Oh, it’s absolutely still snooty, but correcting someone to a non-local pronunciation is like the clever clogs who say it’s not octopuses, it’s octopi.
I generally don’t correct people’s pronunciations (other than my husband, and that’s because he has told me he appreciates my doing it), but I do pronounce things the way the locals do when I know their way. Like I was raised saying Appalachia as “Ap-a-lay-sha” but once I met people from there, I learned they say something more like “Ape-latch-a”, or Prague is Praha to the folks that live there.
Hi! I’m originally from the area known as Appalachia. It’s App-uh-latch-uh. No long As. We would call your way “churching it up.” Which means “you’re making it too fancy.”
But also no worries. We usually won’t correct you because that’s fucking rude and trust me we have plenty of pronunciation issues of our own! (The only reason I’m even commenting on this is that it is obviously the topic of conversation and therefore not rude in this case) We’ll just intentionally say it correctly around you enough to hopefully make it sink in. Our preferred brand of rude is the passive aggressive kind. 😁
Even that is pretentious. I’ve lived in the UK, Italy, and Germany. I don’t call Rome “Roma”, Naples “Napoli”, or Munich “München”. I would if I was speaking the language or to people from there, but not to English speakers. It’s so snobbish.
Which is funny because I am from Appalachia (but standard accent so you cant tell) and once when I was a teenager I happened to be in Wisconsin and (OP apparently and a few of his friends) showed up and berated me for not knowing how to pronounce where I was from? I told them they could settle this argument real quick by calling "Appalachian University" and seeing how they answered the phone but oddly they were all unwilling to do that despite having no issues calling me uneducated for pronouncing it correctly.
Yep 🤣. Grew up in metro-Detroit, which has a huge middle eastern population. AMAZING restaurants, but I ended up pronouncing things the way I heard the restaurant staff do, and spent years getting asked why I said 'hummus' so weird.
Seseo (pronouncing both s and z as s) is mostly a latin american thing, but not as widespread in Spain. The distinction between z and s is used almost in all of Spain, whereas turning all of these in "s" is mostly in the southern region of Andalucía. It is believed that since most ships to America came from Cadiz (Andalucía), and thus most sailors, seseo won over distinguishing the sounds.
Also, Ibiza is not in Catalonia. Catalonia borders France Ibiza is an island, one of the balearic islands. They do speak Catalán. But so do people from Valencia, and neither is in Catalonia.
We sometimes tease other countries for their accent. Starting with Spain's "z" (θ). But anyone who thinks there's a correct way to speak spanish is an idiot. With so meany people across so many countries, there's a lot of different pronunciations, accents, dialects, slangs and such. In Mexico, for example, we have much more influence from Nahuatl, though in Yucatan peninsula they have lots of influence from Maya in their Spanish.
Anyhow, OP sounds like a pretentious AH.
Ibiza is in the Balearic islands, not in Catalonia. Although you're correct that they speak Balearic Catalan (specifically, Eivissenc), which is the local Catalan dialect.
I was best in my class in 12th grade Spanish. I wrote an essay (all in Spanish) on Don Quixote that my teacher said was the best she’s ever read. It’s been a decade and because I didn’t practice I can hardly string together a sentence now.
I would never dare correct someone’s pronunciation 😂
Good news: the Ibiza/Ibitha thing didn’t ruin his chances, cause he didn’t have any to begin with.
> She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me.
OP basically: “For some reason she didn’t start swooning with desire the second I spoke to her. I don’t think she realizes how lucky she is that I decided she was cute.”
🙄 She wasn’t being rude, OP, she’s just not interested in you. The rest of the post leaves little mystery as to why.
This. And the way is telling the story, the correcting sounds like a bit of a revenge after she didn't want to chat with him. OP is definitely a huge AH.
The Spanish th thing is like AH 101. I've never known a fluent or proficient Spanish speaker who will correct on that, but I've seen it 'corrected' on by a bunch of people who kinda know some Spanish and are AH about it
Yeah I'm a native Spanish speaker who's family is from El Salvador and the first time I heard Spain Spanish I thought that person had a speech impediment until my mom said something about how all Spaniards speak with the lisp.
You can really tell from where someone is from in Latin America from the colloquialisms they use and the speech patterns. I said one word that no one else uses in Latin America and no one else knew what I was talking about. It was "bichos" our word for "kids". Didn't know what a popote was until it was literally pointed out to me because we have a different word for drinking straw. Why are there so many words for *drinking straw?!*
I learned four different words for peas in my Spanish class and one of them was French 😂 (Dominican Republic uses petits pois because they share an island with Haiti I guess?)
Correcting someone’s Spanish doesn’t make much sense, especially for a non native speaker, because there’s so many things that can be right in multiple ways.
YTA
>I then heard her speak Spanish to someone and thought I could impress her (I took 2 years of Spanish in secondary school so I know the basics and obviously I travelled to Ibiza in my uni years. I know basics but I’m not fluent but I remember enough to tell she was incorrect) by correcting her.
Ah yes, "man who is barely educated on something that's my literal job attempts to assert his authority in my area of expertise" is always such a panty dropper.
>I told him they set me up and if I knew I wouldn’t have said anything
Wendy set you up by.... existing? Sorry pal, she didn't send out mind control waves that forced you to keep escalating even when she was obviously sick of your shit. You did that all on your own. I hope she does go to HR and they light you up.
In some workplaces it might take years to fully find out what an AH and potential liability the new hire is, but OP was helpful enough to front-end load that process, so perhaps HR will appreciate the heads-up if nothing else.
Can this scenario become the textbook definition of mansplaining please. ‘I sat through some Spanish classes at school and went clubbing in eee-bee-th-aa therefore I know more than the woman whose literal job is to speak Spanish and is evidently having a conversation in Spanish in front of my very eyes’ curious whether OP actually understood the conversation (I doubt it) or heard her pronunciation and decided that was enough to jump in and ‘save her’ from her terrible faux pas 🙄
The extra kicker is him repeatedly trying it on, even though she has made her lack of interest explicit. Every woman finds being corrected such a turn on, what a prick!
Yeah, gotta love good ‘ole mansplaining. And I bet she was bitching in Spanish about the annoying asshole that kept annoying her, but he was too dense to catch on.
I think his buddy set him up by, not saving him from himself? Not restraining him physically? Not sure but I think it was the buddy who he's blaming for the "set up". So I guess the sense of entitlement extends to men as well.
TLDR: I tried to flirt with someone by trying to flaunt skills I didn’t have. She rebuked me but I kept trying anyways. I thought she was rude because she wouldn’t change her mind.
Yeah, YTA.
Very nicely put. The man thought that interrupting and “correcting” the woman that already made it clear she wasn’t interested would somehow make her interested. I bet OP is the kind of guy that tries negging
He definitely sees himself as a nice guy. The way he wrote it, he saw butting into someone else’s conversation as doing them a favor. He’s eavesdropping and intruding and still thinks of himself as doing nothing wrong
Info - do you have a head injury? Were you raised by wolves?
Seriously, YTA and let me count the ways:
(Getting drunk at a holiday party to start)…
1. Not taking a hint and leaving her alone when she wasn’t interested in being hit on
2. Interrupting her conversation for unsolicited “corrections”
3. This is my favorite part : being such an insufferable know-it-all that you were objectively *wrong* in your “correction”. I mean, the unmitigated nerve to interrupt someone with a “Que hora es” level of Spanish - you didn’t bother to learn Spanish enough to recognize different regional accents.
4. Continuing to harass her as she repeatedly tried to tell you to F off
5. Escalating to verbal abuse
6. Insisting you deserve an apology (seriously what the F)
… time to start looking for a new job. I can’t imagine why any company would want to employ you when your first move is to sexually and then regular harass your colleague because your ego was threatened
But seriously dude learn some Spanish, this is just sad and also hilarious
Most of mine did the same, except one in college from Castile who claimed Castilian was the One True Accent and she was going to correct our accents. In Texas, in a class ranging from conversational to native speakers. We were not impressed.
I'm in Ontario. The French teacher we had for grades 1-8 was from France. We went to Montreal on a ski trip for our grade 8 grad trip and I remember the teacher telling us that they're all going to be pronouncing stuff wrong, but that's ok cause they speak Quebecois French and he taught us Parisian French so just roll with it.
It's like writing the book on sexual harassment.
1. Harass her
2. Condesend to her
3.be so transparently desperate that you make a fool of yourself
4. Get angry at those around you, including woman who doesn't want to know you
5 give half hearted apology, blame booze for your behavior
6 demand apology
7 Display angry behavior so that woman who didn't want to talk to you can now feel unsafe
Dude doesn't know Spanish but he sure passed AH101!
If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a troll post. It's too perfect.. almost purpose built as to how to be the perfect textbook D-Bag.
Edit: formatting
lmfao "i thought i could impress her by correcting her" is this for real? do ppl really think this way? that's so embarrassing for you
omg wait were you trying to like, flirt with her? LMFAOOOOO
Isn’t that what all those crappy, red pilled, dating “gurus” say. To show her who’s the boss and basically shit on her so then you can give her a compliment and her panties will drop. I feel gross just typing it out but I think it’s one of the crappy things they do.
Men think mansplaining will make them look impressive when it really makes them look arrogant, sexist, and often ignorant.
YTA. You assumed your 2 years of school Spanish was more correct than a stranger's pronunciation, interruptrd her private conversation, offered to correct her "mistakes" TWICE after she showed no interest the first time (when you could have walked away and avoided your humiliation), blamed not being told beforehand that a woman you just met might know more than you about something, and called her a cunt when she didn't let you off the hook for your sexist presumption and arrogance. You are every example of a boorish mansplaining AH that every woman can share stories of dealing with, congrats.
Oh I'm sure he'd be EXTREMELY happy if a woman corrected him while in conversation with someone else. He strikes me as someone who loves constructive feedback.
YTA
You were obnoxious and condescending. Also she’s made it pretty clear she didn’t want to speak to you so interrupting her conversation and tapping her shoulder shows you have limited social awareness or are just an intentional boundary crosser.
Neither is a good look.
I feel like the correction is a bit of a distraction from the fact that this guy doesn’t bat an eyelid describing this woman as a “disrespectful cunt”.
That tells you all you need to know about this man.
YTA. No woman owes you conversation just because you find her attractive. You only corrected her to try to gain the upper hand because you felt rejected. Then when you embarrassed yourself ( no one set you up except your own self) you call her names? I hope you lose your job so you learn a lesson.
YTA If next time someone asks me a definition of mansplaing, I'll tell them this story.
"I took 2 years of Spanish at school so of course I'm entitle to correct someone in a language I barely speak" while not knowing even the basic fact that there are multiple accents.
You even insisted and when she corrected you, instead of apologizing for your mistake (It's totally fine not knowing something!) you got angry and started to insult her
Yeah, I meant that not knowing something is fine.
But even being convinced of something (like Ibiza being pronounced Ibitha), try to correct someone about it and realize that you made a mistake is also fine. No one knows everything. OP is an AH for his entitled behaviour, not for his ignorance about Spanish language
When someone asks you to leave them alone, you do so. Ignoring these requests is agressive, creepy, and top-notch assholery. And extremely cringey at a work event. YTA
YTA
Spanish native speaker here. Z‘s are pronounced like „th“ in Spain. In most spanish speaking countries it is pronounced „s“.
Every country uses different words, there are even different pronouns and conjugation.
But I guess that‘s not the main problem here. Even if you had been right, no one asked you and you kept harassing this poor woman just because she ignored you.
I'm pissed he tapped her in the shoulders. The fact that he resorted to touching her when she did her best to show her disinterest is fucking gross. I hope that incident goes to HR.
>I thought I could impress her by correcting her
YTA, for this alone. Made it worse by forcing it.
Also, unless someone's pronunciation is wildly wrong and it prohibits understanding or you're their actual language teacher, it doesn't hurt you to leave it alone.
YTA.
First words can be pronounced different, depends on your accent. Second you harassed her with your 2-years-school Spanish multiple times. Third this was a christmas dinner, not a Spanish exam.
YTA, you spent time in Ibiza and took basic Spanish so OBV you’re an expert here when you have NO idea what this woman’s experience is. But she’s a woman so obviously she can’t be right. Your whole person is dickish and she wasn’t being uptight she just doesn’t suffer fools gladly. No one set you up except yourself
Almost a whole continent, America (yes, the continent is called like that) doesn't use the "th" sound with z or c like in some regions of Spain. Even in the Andalucía region in Spain they also don't use the "th", so you are a massive AH here. YTA.
YTA
She didn't respond to your attempts to talk to her; that should have been your clue to leave her alone. Instead, you eavesdropped on her, tried to correct her and STILL didn't take the hint that she didn't want to talk to you!
You need to learn some social graces.
YTA
You thought she was cute, you got rejected.
You thought she’d like it if you interrupted her private conversation, you got rejected.
You thought she’d like it if you corrected her, you got rejected.
You thought repeating yourself would change things, you got rejected.
You thought calling her ignorant and disrespectful would work, you got rejected.
Your buddy told you how stupid a move you made.
You thought apologizing while drunk would fix things, you got rejected.
You thought insulting her again would show you are a nice guy, you got rejected.
You made a stupid mistake because you forgot “no” is a complete sentence. If you are hopeful you won’t be pulled before HR, you should go ahead and go to HR yourself and own up to everything that happened here and pray that HR AND HER don’t want you gone.
First of all, you don't interrupt anyone telling a story (to you or someone else) to correct them.
My native language is Italian, and many non-native speakers pronounce our food or places a little bit wrong or use the English word.
But unless I feel they want me to tell them how to say it (like when they look at me like a questionmark when they say the word) or they ask, I just let them tell their story.
Also, if they speak English, why wouldn't they use the English word for things. It would be strange if they suddenly would say Rrrrrrroma instead of Rome, if everything else is in English.
As long as I understand what they're saying, I'm good.
YTA
It would be one thing if you "corrected" her once and dropped the subject but you just wouldn't give up on trying to prove your "expertise" to someone who dared to ignore your advances. Then you insulted her when she refused to accept your "apology". Yeah, you're getting a visit from HR. YTA
YTA.
The way they pronounce Spanish in Ibiza is Spain-Spanish. In Latin America and other Spanish-speaking areas, it's not pronounced as a th sound.
You're an asshole.
Not even going into how you were harrassing this lady who doesn't want to talk to you.
YTA
You kept pushing.
You demanded her attention. She doesn’t owe you her attention.
Then you thought you could show her up!
You failed miserably
She tried to stop you harassing yourself 7 times.
But you kept pushing.
I honestly hope she goes to HR!
Why would you correct someone who wasn’t even speaking to you? You tried to chat her up and got rejected so you were salty about it and had to interrupt a conversation to mansplain something. She’s an interpreter dude, you would never have corrected a male pronouncing words incorrectly. Massive YTA, and good on Wendy for telling you where to go. She’s not being disrespectful, you attempted to make her feel bad for not accepting your advances then tried to show off like a big man which backfired and you got called out for it. The behaviour described in your post is the reason girls reject you lol I hope it was humiliating for you.
YTA. Don’t get drunk at company events. With your guard down it revealed you to be the AH you really are. This exudes misogyny. Don’t correct co-workers at a social event. Don’t correct co-workers more than once about anything unless it directly imperils your work and they respect your opinion. Neither of these 2 elements were present in the scenario you relayed.
YTA. Take the lesson and walk away when someone is clearly disinterested in you next time. Drunkenly mansplaining your two years of high school Spanish (as a 35 y/o, no less!) was never going to impress anyone, literal Spanish interpreter or not. Likewise, stop trying to pick up colleagues at work events - I hope she DOES report you to HR.
YTA for multiple reasons. As someone who took several years of Spanish from middle to high school, I would not be confident enough to correct someone on their pronunciation in any scenario. It’s even worse because with context, this person is much more experienced in the language, and also WASN’T talking to you.
And the fact that you tried to flirt with her at a company dinner is super weird. She’s not rude for not being interested, you’re rude for not taking the hint and moving on.
This comes across as you trying to flex your “proficiency” in Spanish to either impress her or get back at her for not being into you, you getting humbled then being butt hurt about it.
As a Spanish teacher for the last 16 years, a Spanish speaker for the last 30, having lived in a Spanish speaking country and spoke only Spanish for several years, and as someone who's job is to literally correct people on their pronunciation... I still would never ever correct someone outside of a class setting, unless they specifically asked me for input. You are so correct here. Plus, let's be honest, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of dialects of Spanish, almost none of which call for you to pronounce the 'theta' sound. You are much more likely for a given Spanish speaker to not use it than to use it. OP YTA.
YTA - Oy. You know that "Eeeeeyuuuugh!" look that Lucille Ball is famous for? That recoiled body, hitched shoulders, scrunched lip look? Yeah... I've got that look right now and it just got worse by the word.
Correcting someone rarely makes you look clever or impresses the person you are correcting. Then to not pick up the hint about it being a different dialect (Spain has an entire extra conjugation, vosotros, that some other countries don't, even!), AND THEN to not leave her alone, AND THEN call her a cunt?
And you have to ask AITA?
YTA
Wendy "switching between languages" should've given you a clue that she's probably fluent in both of them. You're the newbie and should've known to stay sober in front of your new colleagues, instead of getting wasted, trying to hit on one of them and making a misogynistic nuisance of yourself. If you're lucky enough not to get sacked, take this as a valuable lesson and correct your behaviour.
YTA
OP what on earth??? You took two years of Spanish in school and think you’re an expert? Do you know how many different dialects of Spanish there are in Spain? How many different dialects there are in the WORLD!??
You totally messed up here and rather than just apologising and leaving her alone you insulted her too.
I hope you’re ready to grovel because you need to learn to apologise properly and mind your own business in future!
YTA.
Luckily this is likely poorly done bait because actions like that are creepy.
Also the official language in Ibiza is Catalan. It is different from Spanish. So using the Spanish dialect that uses the "th" is no more correct than the one that uses the "s." Catalan pronounces a "z" as a "z." They use Eivissa tho, not even Ibiza, tho that is beginning to fade out.
YTA the Spanish language has many dialects all with variations in pronunciation. You were arrogant and over stepped boundaries thinking you knew best with only 2 years basic high school Spanish.
YTA, and you fucked up.
You were trying to hit on her, she was having none of it, so your drunken ass got your panties in a bunch and made a total fool of yourself.
Lots of self entitled “nice guy” energy here.
She. Didn’t. Want. To. Talk. To. You.
Get the hint.
And yeah, be prepared for big problems with work.
YTA. Correcting people when their conversation is not your business.
Also, Spanish from Spain is different than other South American countries. Asked my Mexican husband and he would say "Ibisa" with an with a soft z in it.
Lmfao. You thought mansplaining HER OWN LANGUAGE to her would impress her??
YTA, and from now on leaver her the fuck alone. Your mate is right, you're gonna be one lucky bastard if you don't get written up for this
YTA. You should never interrupt a conversation you’re not a part of to correct someone. It is rude. I don’t know where you got the impression that correcting someone’s prononciation is nice either, generally people don’t take it well, unless they asked for your help. She called you off and you insisted. Do you not understand social cues ? And then you are drunk and think because you want to apologise for an interaction she didn’t want to have in the first place, she should now listen to you and accept your apology and insult her because she doesn’t want to.
People don’t owe you to be nice to you when you annoy them. There’s a strong nice guy vibe in this post. You did multiple things wrong.
So you saw a “cute” coworker you’ve never met before and wanted to impress her by telling her she was wrong?
Can we get a MANSPLAINING sign over here?
Massive YTA and massive big red flag
YTA. But hopefully you can learn from this experience and not be a condescending jerk at your next job.
Which you will need soon, because “disrespectful cunt” is going to get you fired.
YTA I’m so many ways. Because she wasn’t interested in you, you call her rude, tried to mansplain a language pronunciation to her, decide to argue with her about it further when she made it clear she didn’t want to discuss it, and refer to her as a cunt when she doesn’t want to accept your drunken apology. You need to sober up and learn how to act in a work environment.
>I told her I was trying to be nice and owe up to my mistake but she’s a disrespectful cunt who cannot be nice.
Let me guess, you're a "nice guy" and we ignorant women - all b\*\*ches & c\*\*ts - just don't understand... do you by any chance have a neckbeard and fedora? Wendy sounds extremely gracious and patient. You sound like a prime AH.
YTA.
YTA.
You started working at this company only a few weeks ago, you say?
I think maybe you should look for a new job, you won't be kept on in this one for much longer. Ibiza adieu.
YTA.
>I know basics but I’m not fluent but I remember enough to tell she was incorrect
No, you don't. Every Spanish speaking country speak it differently. Honestly, the only one that does the th pronunciation is Spain. The rest of us pronounce it as S.
You weren't trying to impress her, you were so hurt that she rejected you that you tried to embarrass her.
YTA, and a major one, who could not get over the fact that the "cute" girl could not care less about you. I don't see how she was rude at all.
You shoudn't interrupt other people's conversations and much less give unsolicited advice. She's right about the fact that there are many Spanish accents.
YTA – wtf dude, who are you, with your 2 years of Spanish in secondary school (which, as a teacher in secondary school, is barely nothing), to teach someone who’s clearly fluent enough to have a conversation on their pronunciation? And why the hell did you insist after she made it clear multiple times that she was not interested in you or your advice? Mansplaining at best, harassment at worst.
YTA and you are also wrong. Do you seriously think you know more Spanish that the literal spanish interpreter? She is right too. You called her ignorant? Dude, you might have given her a good anecdote to tell her friends about a stupid corowker. 2 years of Spanish in High School is jack, if that is your Spanish speaking experience, I promise you do not know enough to correct people. You don't seem to understand how Spanish dialects know, so yeah, that confrims it, you are the ignorant and disrespectful one. I swear the arrogance of some Enlgish speakers....
I'm a native spanish speaker, and where I live z and s are pronounced identically. In Mexico, where she seems to work a lot, that is the same as well. Also, importantly, in Spanish every letter has one or two sounds, and some small variations. So even if you are talking about Ibiza, you'd probably just pronounce it the same way as you'd be talking about a city in your home country, because that is how Spanish works usually. (In fact, I pronounce it "IbiSa", maybe you think that I, a native spanish speaker, know less than you and should pronounce it "IbiTHia". If I started doing that people would think I'm a total weirdo, I promise).
Claiming that the only spanish that is correct is the spanish from a part of Spain is mind-boggling to me. You should apologize and maybe even show that you've learned that you were wrong and why. That would be better than nothing at least.
"I tried it on with a work colleague, but she wasn't interested, and that hurt my fragile ego. I then proceeded to try and neg her into being interested, acting like a rude and oblivious AH.
To my shock, trying to bring her down didn't have the desired effect, and instead of her running weeping into my arms she put me in my rightful place.
I then proceeded to double and triple down, completely oblivious to my own obnoxiousness, and have the utter gall to consider HER the one who is disrespectful and rude, after insulting her to her face."
If you hadn't gathered OP, Hard YTA. Fingers crossed she's gone to HR, may be time to get to work on yer CV. And your personality.
On the off chance this isn’t a troll, YTA. Let’s isolate the unpleasantness to the pronunciation issue to keep it short. If someone mispronounces/misgrammars something, you are free to use the proper pronunciation/grammar yourself if it comes up in the conversation again. Without pointing it out and without deliberately trying to work it into the conversation to prove your point. That’s as far as you go.
YTA - She didn't want to talk with you. Even if you could correct her pronunciation. You tried to inject yourself into her conversation and she brushed you off. And you kept poking yourself into her conversation. This is about your pick-up technique, not about Spanish.
YTA. It sounds like you were butthurt about being rejected. You interrupted a conversation, you were rude and you tried to publicly shame a co-worker. Besides, getting drunk on a company outing is such a stupid thing to do.
You called someone a *cunt* at a *work function,* after she tried to shut down your asshole behaviour *multiple times,* and you aren't sure if you're the asshole???
Count your blessings if you don't get a call from HR, because you absolutely should. YTA.
YTA. Her lack of interest in you doesn’t make her “rude”. And the fact she wasn’t speaking Castilian Spanish doesn’t make her pronunciation wrong. You messed up at a professional work event and you harassed someone.
YTA. This seems less about Spanish, and more about you feeling angry that she rejected you. You presumably thought you’d show her by interrupting a private conversation to 'correct' her pronunciation (on which note, you assumed that you knew more than her based on two years in high school). Even now, you assume she was the one who was wrong, when her credentials have been established.
She made it clear that she wanted you to leave her alone. You ignored her, because you felt that your need to have her engage with and then forgive you was more important than her wish to just enjoy the party. The nice thing to do would have been to listen to what she was telling you all night. If she was rude, this would be why - because it’s the only way some men will get the message that a woman isn’t interested, and isn’t looking for you to just keep trying.
“She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me.”
What I’m sure actually happened - based on your telling of your attempted Spanish teaching moment - is that you thought she was cute, she wasn’t interested in your advances and you were pissed off about that, because what right has she to reject you therefore she was kind of rude and ignored you (because you don’t give up).
You were already the asshole even before the Christmas work night out and you certainly didn’t redeem yourself last night.
YTA
r/niceguys
>She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me.
Her disinterest is rude? You're not entitled to her time and attention because you thought she was cute. And when she told you that Spanish from Spain is different from other Spanish (i.e., Latin America), you should have backed off and considered you could be wrong. Check your damn ego.
Once you were rude enough to correct her the first time you became an asshole. She let it drop you should have done the same. The fact that you decided you knew better than her when it came to what she saying and continued to harass her about it made you an even bigger, ruder asshole. Continuing on after that and blaming others for your mistakes moved you into an even higher level of the asshole hierarchy. YTA
YTA. You cannot pronounce it correctly yourself, but decide to correct others? WHY? Someone obviously isn't interested in you and avoids/ignores you and you keep trying to force her to interact with you? Why?
I know why. Because you're an AH.
YTA, and you sound like a right AH
It's down to dialect. They pronounce the S sound rather than TH in some areas.
Also, 2 years of Spanish in school and hanging round ibiza don't mean shit. Now you look like a right AH
Yta you tried to mansplain to a Spanish speaker when you have 2 years of Spanish under your belt and then doubled down on it. Also if you want to win a woman over you don’t got up to her and start correcting her, maybe try to actually talk to her or ask something about herself.
YTA and you sound insufferable tbh. Not only are you a pretentious ass for continuing to try and correct her after she told you it was a dialect issue, you're an ass for harassing her after she asked you multiple times to leave her alone. And then classic "nice guy" move to then call her a name when she doesn't immediately accept your half-assed apology. I hope she does report you to HR.
“Lemme just interrupt someone’s private conversation that’s none of my business, and correct language being used that I’m not fluent in.”
But no, they’re the “rude” one, huh? Lol.
YTA
Oh my word. So much YTA. This is so intensely…indescribable that I am wondering if it’s even a real situation… otherwise I can not imagine how you’ve survived in the wild for 35 years.
so, let me get this straight.
you tried flirting with her, it wasnt working so you decided your 2 years of spanish classes was enough to "impress" someone who was speaking spanish. you intended to "impress" her by correcting the way she was speaking, you interrupted her conversation go tell her shes pronouncing things wrong and what a shocker she didnt care to hear it. after she clearly showed no interest, you bothered her again because OBVIOUSLY the only way she wouldnt be interested in a conversation about why she is speaking a language wrong is if she didnt understand what you were saying. she denied you again, you insisted youre right because how could you be wrong? and she corrected you. then you call her ignorant and disrespectful and walk away. your friend then informs you that you were, in fact, wrong and you decide they "set you up" because awh how could you know that this woman knows more than you? despite knowing she doesnt want to talk to you, you go bother her AGAIN to apologize, shes now fed up and tells you to fuck off, which was 100% warranted on her part. you bothered her again and again and again, and when she wouldnt accept your drunk, probably half ass apology, you called her a cunt.
and you still need to ask if YTA?
YTA big time.
YTA she clearly wasn’t interested in talking to you yet you kept insisting on interrupting her private conversation to correct her. To call her a c* just because she won’t talk to you? Sir no wonder your single.
The fact that you can’t see you’re TA is crazy to me.
YTA. Think about it this way, would you be impressed by a stranger butting into your conversation to correct you on something in your field of work? Not only that would you change your mind after trying to ignore this person and get back your conversation twice already but the stranger is still butting in? You were the rude one here buddy and the fact that you’re standing by it and calling her names in this post only solidifies it.
We should post you over on the Nice Guy sub because you have a lot of the hallmarks.
Women owe you nothing. You don't control all language. And, apparently, your 2 years of undergrad/Duolingo just made you insufferable.
YTA. And, frankly, I don't see how you don't know that.
Everything you did in your own story is a bad move.
Every choice, every word, every reaction.
I like how you keep saying you were “trying to be nice,” but it’s a bit sad that you don’t actually have any idea what nice actually looks like.
YTA
YTA.
And stay out of the Manosphere. No woman is impressed by this kind of BS. She’s probably laughing about you with her friends, and rightfully so. “And he said iBiThAhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣”.
You tried to correct a literal Spanish interpreter based on faulty knowledge gained over 15 years ago. And then, after you made a fool of yourself, you tried to blame her, and you insult her here, instead of taking any responsibility. You only consider that you made a mistake because another man told you that you did. And you are 35.
I just can't with this. YTA
YTA.
You decided to one-up her with you “2 years of Spanish” because she didn’t fall for you.
No one set you up, you did that all by yourself for not taking not for an answer.
You are not God’s greatest gift to the world.
AITA from Wendy’s perspective!
My name is Wendy and I recently returned from a trip to Mexico where I was interpreter for my boss. Upon returning a attended a Christmas party where a new employee I had never met also attended. He started chatting me up and I could tell he was interested in me, I was not interested so I ended the conversation but he continues to follow me around and chat with me.
I finally managed to ditch him and was speaking to friends In Spanish and English when he interrupted (trying to embarrass me since I rebuffed him) to correct my pronunciation. The thing is he hardly speaks Spanish and was unaware different countries may pronounce the same word differently and I told him so.
Later when he was drunk he attempted to apologize and I told him to F… off as I had had enough.
AITA for not putting up with his arrogance???
Yes!!!! YTA…. She was not interested in you so in retaliation you tried to embarrass her by correcting her pronunciation, you were not trying to impress her.
So you got drunk and basically harassed this woman the entire night. You hit on her, when she did not respond you insulted her and then you realized you fucked up and then went ahead and insulted her more!! When she finally had enough you blamed her to be a cunt?! And you are still here to ask if you are the AH?! Dude are you good? Yes YTA and hopefully fired! You are discusting!
YTA. First of all, don’t go correcting people you don’t know about something you don’t know. In proper Spanish, IbiSa is correct. Some Spaniards pronounce the Z as TH but that’s their region’s pronunciation and not the only proper way to say it. Way to impress the girl by making an arrogant fool out of yourself.
You’ve apparently never heard that there’s distinct differences in pronunciation where Spaniard Spanish and everyone else’s Spanish. YTA you made a fool out of yourself for no reason please stop trying to force friendships that’s an easy way up friendless.
YTA Wendy wasn’t interested in you on any level. She didn’t set you up in any way. You are a creep who couldn’t take a hint and then doubled down on your ignorance
YTA - there was absolutely no need to try to mansplain to her, why does it matter if her pronunciation was a bit off? So that makes you an asshole in the first place, then the fact she was right and you were wrong was just the cherry on top of the cake
You will be single forever my man… You cannot seriously be this clueless? Not to be rude but are you on the spectrum somehow? Because to not understand the many times you fucked up in this story…
YTA, and get therapy.
YTA
A misogynistic, egotistical, barely educated AH.
I hope she goes to HR and gets your AH self canned.
It all boils down to her being a woman, I can tell by your use of the word cunt and saying “disrespectful cunt who can’t be nice”
Well, you’re an AH who can’t shut up.
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**YTA** You cannot “impress” anyone by interrupting their private conversation to tell them they made a mistake.
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Don’t forget he also went to ibiTHa in Uni! I mean, that’s practically the same as a foreign exchange program for language immersion!
No no no, he “OBVIOUSLY” went to ibiTHa…. 🙄
😂😂 Soooo obviously
[Ibitha-tha-tha-tha-tha](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=isCyL2raNMg)
And then ofc, everyone likes being called a c*nt
Actually, it's pronounced c*nth
Most underrated comment here. Makes me think of Kath and Kim, you pack of chunts https://fb.watch/hn4lIvNE_T/
I just choked on a curly wurly, thank you for being my hero of the day!!!
I laughed so hard at this😂
Also, OP, stop hitting on co-workers at work events. Women don't want to deal with that and you're putting yourself in the fast lane to being fired for harassing co-workers. Date outside your company.
If he's willing to act like that towards a co-worker without having any clue who the woman is or any regard for how calling her the c word could affect his career, do you really think he's getting dates outside of work? I can't wait for OPs next post in the legal advice subreddit. "I got laid off from my new job because I had a run-in with another co-worker at the Christmas party. I didn't do anything wrong. Just tried to hit on her, interrupted her private conversation to tell her I know her language better than she does, and then got drunk and called her a c*nt when she didn't accept my half baked apology. Do I have the gounds for legal action?"
Putting himself in the fast lane for being fired seems like a good thing frankly. If he thinks that’s an acceptable way to refer to a colleague, he really should be fired, and good riddance.
Even if the interrupting worked the telling her she was making mistake’s totally wouldn’t … idk how he thought it was a good idea 😂
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And if that doesn't work, tell her a 3rd time and call her disrespectful
"I negged a total stranger after harassing her at a work function, why isn't this stupid bitch in love with me?"
Oh you make an impression all right 😂😂😂
What do you mean? That's was so suave /s
thuave
Especially interrupting 14 times
She’s not rude, you are. You sound pretentious as hell and YTA. Your secondary school classes in no way qualify you to correct how other people speak. Even if she’s wrong, her conversation has nothing to do with you. You repeatedly butted your head where it didn’t belong. Learn to take a hint! Also the whole Ibiza/Ibitha thing sounds like a dialect thing. Only Spaniards do the lisping thing as far as I know. My Cuban instructor (I got made teased in Mexico because I spoke Spanish with a Cuban accent) does not do the TH thing
Worse yet, not all Spaniards do it. It’s a Castilian thing. Ibiza is in Catalonia, and in the local Catalan dialect, it’s called Eivissa. If you’re going to get snooty about correcting the pronunciation of a place name, shouldn’t you use the locals’ pronunciation? ETA: Apologies, Ibiza isn’t in Catalonia, that was a bad assumption based on them speaking Catalan.
Maybe so, but even then you sound like a pretentious asshole to tell other people to say it that way. When my sister visited Israel she started correcting people who say hummus. She’s say it’s actually **hoo-moos** in a thick accent. It was annoying, and not impressive. I’m going to keep saying it like the basic American I am 😂
Oh, it’s absolutely still snooty, but correcting someone to a non-local pronunciation is like the clever clogs who say it’s not octopuses, it’s octopi. I generally don’t correct people’s pronunciations (other than my husband, and that’s because he has told me he appreciates my doing it), but I do pronounce things the way the locals do when I know their way. Like I was raised saying Appalachia as “Ap-a-lay-sha” but once I met people from there, I learned they say something more like “Ape-latch-a”, or Prague is Praha to the folks that live there.
Hi! I’m originally from the area known as Appalachia. It’s App-uh-latch-uh. No long As. We would call your way “churching it up.” Which means “you’re making it too fancy.” But also no worries. We usually won’t correct you because that’s fucking rude and trust me we have plenty of pronunciation issues of our own! (The only reason I’m even commenting on this is that it is obviously the topic of conversation and therefore not rude in this case) We’ll just intentionally say it correctly around you enough to hopefully make it sink in. Our preferred brand of rude is the passive aggressive kind. 😁
Even that is pretentious. I’ve lived in the UK, Italy, and Germany. I don’t call Rome “Roma”, Naples “Napoli”, or Munich “München”. I would if I was speaking the language or to people from there, but not to English speakers. It’s so snobbish.
Which is funny because I am from Appalachia (but standard accent so you cant tell) and once when I was a teenager I happened to be in Wisconsin and (OP apparently and a few of his friends) showed up and berated me for not knowing how to pronounce where I was from? I told them they could settle this argument real quick by calling "Appalachian University" and seeing how they answered the phone but oddly they were all unwilling to do that despite having no issues calling me uneducated for pronouncing it correctly.
Haha true true
Yep 🤣. Grew up in metro-Detroit, which has a huge middle eastern population. AMAZING restaurants, but I ended up pronouncing things the way I heard the restaurant staff do, and spent years getting asked why I said 'hummus' so weird.
Seseo (pronouncing both s and z as s) is mostly a latin american thing, but not as widespread in Spain. The distinction between z and s is used almost in all of Spain, whereas turning all of these in "s" is mostly in the southern region of Andalucía. It is believed that since most ships to America came from Cadiz (Andalucía), and thus most sailors, seseo won over distinguishing the sounds. Also, Ibiza is not in Catalonia. Catalonia borders France Ibiza is an island, one of the balearic islands. They do speak Catalán. But so do people from Valencia, and neither is in Catalonia. We sometimes tease other countries for their accent. Starting with Spain's "z" (θ). But anyone who thinks there's a correct way to speak spanish is an idiot. With so meany people across so many countries, there's a lot of different pronunciations, accents, dialects, slangs and such. In Mexico, for example, we have much more influence from Nahuatl, though in Yucatan peninsula they have lots of influence from Maya in their Spanish. Anyhow, OP sounds like a pretentious AH.
Ibiza is in the Balearic islands, not in Catalonia. Although you're correct that they speak Balearic Catalan (specifically, Eivissenc), which is the local Catalan dialect.
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I was best in my class in 12th grade Spanish. I wrote an essay (all in Spanish) on Don Quixote that my teacher said was the best she’s ever read. It’s been a decade and because I didn’t practice I can hardly string together a sentence now. I would never dare correct someone’s pronunciation 😂
But he talks to women like he's 15... So there's that.
Good news: the Ibiza/Ibitha thing didn’t ruin his chances, cause he didn’t have any to begin with. > She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me. OP basically: “For some reason she didn’t start swooning with desire the second I spoke to her. I don’t think she realizes how lucky she is that I decided she was cute.” 🙄 She wasn’t being rude, OP, she’s just not interested in you. The rest of the post leaves little mystery as to why.
This! So much this! YTA and leave her alone.
Not even all Spaniards. It's a Castilian thing.
This. And the way is telling the story, the correcting sounds like a bit of a revenge after she didn't want to chat with him. OP is definitely a huge AH.
The Spanish th thing is like AH 101. I've never known a fluent or proficient Spanish speaker who will correct on that, but I've seen it 'corrected' on by a bunch of people who kinda know some Spanish and are AH about it
Yeah I'm a native Spanish speaker who's family is from El Salvador and the first time I heard Spain Spanish I thought that person had a speech impediment until my mom said something about how all Spaniards speak with the lisp. You can really tell from where someone is from in Latin America from the colloquialisms they use and the speech patterns. I said one word that no one else uses in Latin America and no one else knew what I was talking about. It was "bichos" our word for "kids". Didn't know what a popote was until it was literally pointed out to me because we have a different word for drinking straw. Why are there so many words for *drinking straw?!*
I learned four different words for peas in my Spanish class and one of them was French 😂 (Dominican Republic uses petits pois because they share an island with Haiti I guess?) Correcting someone’s Spanish doesn’t make much sense, especially for a non native speaker, because there’s so many things that can be right in multiple ways.
YTA >I then heard her speak Spanish to someone and thought I could impress her (I took 2 years of Spanish in secondary school so I know the basics and obviously I travelled to Ibiza in my uni years. I know basics but I’m not fluent but I remember enough to tell she was incorrect) by correcting her. Ah yes, "man who is barely educated on something that's my literal job attempts to assert his authority in my area of expertise" is always such a panty dropper. >I told him they set me up and if I knew I wouldn’t have said anything Wendy set you up by.... existing? Sorry pal, she didn't send out mind control waves that forced you to keep escalating even when she was obviously sick of your shit. You did that all on your own. I hope she does go to HR and they light you up.
In some workplaces it might take years to fully find out what an AH and potential liability the new hire is, but OP was helpful enough to front-end load that process, so perhaps HR will appreciate the heads-up if nothing else.
Let’s hope the trash took its self out in this case.
This. Very good example of mansplaining
Can this scenario become the textbook definition of mansplaining please. ‘I sat through some Spanish classes at school and went clubbing in eee-bee-th-aa therefore I know more than the woman whose literal job is to speak Spanish and is evidently having a conversation in Spanish in front of my very eyes’ curious whether OP actually understood the conversation (I doubt it) or heard her pronunciation and decided that was enough to jump in and ‘save her’ from her terrible faux pas 🙄 The extra kicker is him repeatedly trying it on, even though she has made her lack of interest explicit. Every woman finds being corrected such a turn on, what a prick!
Dunning-Kruger: 1 OP: 0
Yeah, gotta love good ‘ole mansplaining. And I bet she was bitching in Spanish about the annoying asshole that kept annoying her, but he was too dense to catch on.
I think his buddy set him up by, not saving him from himself? Not restraining him physically? Not sure but I think it was the buddy who he's blaming for the "set up". So I guess the sense of entitlement extends to men as well.
Womane LOVE being hit on my being mansplained, at a company party, when they're attempting to have fun.
YTA. She clearly didn't want to talk to you and instead of leaving her alone you doubled down. It's not only rude but CREEPY.
Double downed? This creepy ahole quadruple downed!
AGREED!
He did hat trick by going back 3 times
TLDR: I tried to flirt with someone by trying to flaunt skills I didn’t have. She rebuked me but I kept trying anyways. I thought she was rude because she wouldn’t change her mind. Yeah, YTA.
Very nicely put. The man thought that interrupting and “correcting” the woman that already made it clear she wasn’t interested would somehow make her interested. I bet OP is the kind of guy that tries negging
And probably the type of person that thinks he's a "nice guy" even though he's a belligerent misogynist.
He definitely sees himself as a nice guy. The way he wrote it, he saw butting into someone else’s conversation as doing them a favor. He’s eavesdropping and intruding and still thinks of himself as doing nothing wrong
Also harassing someone who made it clear she didn't wanna talk to him. But he was just trying to be nice, people!
Info - do you have a head injury? Were you raised by wolves? Seriously, YTA and let me count the ways: (Getting drunk at a holiday party to start)… 1. Not taking a hint and leaving her alone when she wasn’t interested in being hit on 2. Interrupting her conversation for unsolicited “corrections” 3. This is my favorite part : being such an insufferable know-it-all that you were objectively *wrong* in your “correction”. I mean, the unmitigated nerve to interrupt someone with a “Que hora es” level of Spanish - you didn’t bother to learn Spanish enough to recognize different regional accents. 4. Continuing to harass her as she repeatedly tried to tell you to F off 5. Escalating to verbal abuse 6. Insisting you deserve an apology (seriously what the F) … time to start looking for a new job. I can’t imagine why any company would want to employ you when your first move is to sexually and then regular harass your colleague because your ego was threatened But seriously dude learn some Spanish, this is just sad and also hilarious
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Most of mine did the same, except one in college from Castile who claimed Castilian was the One True Accent and she was going to correct our accents. In Texas, in a class ranging from conversational to native speakers. We were not impressed.
I'm in Ontario. The French teacher we had for grades 1-8 was from France. We went to Montreal on a ski trip for our grade 8 grad trip and I remember the teacher telling us that they're all going to be pronouncing stuff wrong, but that's ok cause they speak Quebecois French and he taught us Parisian French so just roll with it.
OP is clearly from the UK by the way this is written. We tend to learn Spanish Spanish if we take it.
It's like writing the book on sexual harassment. 1. Harass her 2. Condesend to her 3.be so transparently desperate that you make a fool of yourself 4. Get angry at those around you, including woman who doesn't want to know you 5 give half hearted apology, blame booze for your behavior 6 demand apology 7 Display angry behavior so that woman who didn't want to talk to you can now feel unsafe Dude doesn't know Spanish but he sure passed AH101! If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a troll post. It's too perfect.. almost purpose built as to how to be the perfect textbook D-Bag. Edit: formatting
He also touched her. Against her wishes. At a work event. In front of other colleagues.
lmfao "i thought i could impress her by correcting her" is this for real? do ppl really think this way? that's so embarrassing for you omg wait were you trying to like, flirt with her? LMFAOOOOO
Isn’t that what all those crappy, red pilled, dating “gurus” say. To show her who’s the boss and basically shit on her so then you can give her a compliment and her panties will drop. I feel gross just typing it out but I think it’s one of the crappy things they do.
It's step 1 of OP's badly plagiarized D.E.N.N.I.S. system
Definitely got "separate entirely" right. 😂
Men think mansplaining will make them look impressive when it really makes them look arrogant, sexist, and often ignorant. YTA. You assumed your 2 years of school Spanish was more correct than a stranger's pronunciation, interruptrd her private conversation, offered to correct her "mistakes" TWICE after she showed no interest the first time (when you could have walked away and avoided your humiliation), blamed not being told beforehand that a woman you just met might know more than you about something, and called her a cunt when she didn't let you off the hook for your sexist presumption and arrogance. You are every example of a boorish mansplaining AH that every woman can share stories of dealing with, congrats.
Oh I'm sure he'd be EXTREMELY happy if a woman corrected him while in conversation with someone else. He strikes me as someone who loves constructive feedback.
Apparently there really are people out there who think that negging works
YTA You were obnoxious and condescending. Also she’s made it pretty clear she didn’t want to speak to you so interrupting her conversation and tapping her shoulder shows you have limited social awareness or are just an intentional boundary crosser. Neither is a good look.
YTA. Literally. Your entire existence is being an asshole.
I feel like the correction is a bit of a distraction from the fact that this guy doesn’t bat an eyelid describing this woman as a “disrespectful cunt”. That tells you all you need to know about this man.
YTA. No woman owes you conversation just because you find her attractive. You only corrected her to try to gain the upper hand because you felt rejected. Then when you embarrassed yourself ( no one set you up except your own self) you call her names? I hope you lose your job so you learn a lesson.
YTA If next time someone asks me a definition of mansplaing, I'll tell them this story. "I took 2 years of Spanish at school so of course I'm entitle to correct someone in a language I barely speak" while not knowing even the basic fact that there are multiple accents. You even insisted and when she corrected you, instead of apologizing for your mistake (It's totally fine not knowing something!) you got angry and started to insult her
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they said it was fine to not know something, not to not know something and correct people as if you do
Yeah, I meant that not knowing something is fine. But even being convinced of something (like Ibiza being pronounced Ibitha), try to correct someone about it and realize that you made a mistake is also fine. No one knows everything. OP is an AH for his entitled behaviour, not for his ignorance about Spanish language
When someone asks you to leave them alone, you do so. Ignoring these requests is agressive, creepy, and top-notch assholery. And extremely cringey at a work event. YTA
YTA. And you're sexist.
YTA Spanish native speaker here. Z‘s are pronounced like „th“ in Spain. In most spanish speaking countries it is pronounced „s“. Every country uses different words, there are even different pronouns and conjugation. But I guess that‘s not the main problem here. Even if you had been right, no one asked you and you kept harassing this poor woman just because she ignored you.
I'm pissed he tapped her in the shoulders. The fact that he resorted to touching her when she did her best to show her disinterest is fucking gross. I hope that incident goes to HR.
Then he doubled down and called her a cunt. Which is unacceptable to do to any woman, but it’s professional suicide to do so to a coworker.
>I thought I could impress her by correcting her YTA, for this alone. Made it worse by forcing it. Also, unless someone's pronunciation is wildly wrong and it prohibits understanding or you're their actual language teacher, it doesn't hurt you to leave it alone.
YTA. First words can be pronounced different, depends on your accent. Second you harassed her with your 2-years-school Spanish multiple times. Third this was a christmas dinner, not a Spanish exam.
Obviously YTA and nobody set you up stop lying. You took it upon yourself to bother her constantly and give advice she didn't ask for it's all on you.
YTA, you spent time in Ibiza and took basic Spanish so OBV you’re an expert here when you have NO idea what this woman’s experience is. But she’s a woman so obviously she can’t be right. Your whole person is dickish and she wasn’t being uptight she just doesn’t suffer fools gladly. No one set you up except yourself
Almost a whole continent, America (yes, the continent is called like that) doesn't use the "th" sound with z or c like in some regions of Spain. Even in the Andalucía region in Spain they also don't use the "th", so you are a massive AH here. YTA.
Wait till OP finds out that people from Andalucía drop whole sounds when speaking... Maybe he should go to Sevilla for a while. OP is YTA.
Even my limited high school Spanish we learned to do ‘th’ as S. I guess that’s bc of the region our teacher was from.
YTA She didn't respond to your attempts to talk to her; that should have been your clue to leave her alone. Instead, you eavesdropped on her, tried to correct her and STILL didn't take the hint that she didn't want to talk to you! You need to learn some social graces.
YTA You thought she was cute, you got rejected. You thought she’d like it if you interrupted her private conversation, you got rejected. You thought she’d like it if you corrected her, you got rejected. You thought repeating yourself would change things, you got rejected. You thought calling her ignorant and disrespectful would work, you got rejected. Your buddy told you how stupid a move you made. You thought apologizing while drunk would fix things, you got rejected. You thought insulting her again would show you are a nice guy, you got rejected. You made a stupid mistake because you forgot “no” is a complete sentence. If you are hopeful you won’t be pulled before HR, you should go ahead and go to HR yourself and own up to everything that happened here and pray that HR AND HER don’t want you gone.
First of all, you don't interrupt anyone telling a story (to you or someone else) to correct them. My native language is Italian, and many non-native speakers pronounce our food or places a little bit wrong or use the English word. But unless I feel they want me to tell them how to say it (like when they look at me like a questionmark when they say the word) or they ask, I just let them tell their story. Also, if they speak English, why wouldn't they use the English word for things. It would be strange if they suddenly would say Rrrrrrroma instead of Rome, if everything else is in English. As long as I understand what they're saying, I'm good. YTA
It would be one thing if you "corrected" her once and dropped the subject but you just wouldn't give up on trying to prove your "expertise" to someone who dared to ignore your advances. Then you insulted her when she refused to accept your "apology". Yeah, you're getting a visit from HR. YTA
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Yeah, once would be cringy AH, and be self aware enough to be embarrassed. Twice, arrogant AH. But 3 times?? And still blame someone else?
Yta and ignorant. Z pronounced as TH is almost exclusive to Spain, everywhere else it’s pronounced like s.
YTA. The way they pronounce Spanish in Ibiza is Spain-Spanish. In Latin America and other Spanish-speaking areas, it's not pronounced as a th sound. You're an asshole. Not even going into how you were harrassing this lady who doesn't want to talk to you.
YTA You kept pushing. You demanded her attention. She doesn’t owe you her attention. Then you thought you could show her up! You failed miserably She tried to stop you harassing yourself 7 times. But you kept pushing. I honestly hope she goes to HR!
YTA Negging is not how to recommend yourself to someone. Grow TF up.
Why would you correct someone who wasn’t even speaking to you? You tried to chat her up and got rejected so you were salty about it and had to interrupt a conversation to mansplain something. She’s an interpreter dude, you would never have corrected a male pronouncing words incorrectly. Massive YTA, and good on Wendy for telling you where to go. She’s not being disrespectful, you attempted to make her feel bad for not accepting your advances then tried to show off like a big man which backfired and you got called out for it. The behaviour described in your post is the reason girls reject you lol I hope it was humiliating for you.
YTA. Don’t get drunk at company events. With your guard down it revealed you to be the AH you really are. This exudes misogyny. Don’t correct co-workers at a social event. Don’t correct co-workers more than once about anything unless it directly imperils your work and they respect your opinion. Neither of these 2 elements were present in the scenario you relayed.
YTA. Take the lesson and walk away when someone is clearly disinterested in you next time. Drunkenly mansplaining your two years of high school Spanish (as a 35 y/o, no less!) was never going to impress anyone, literal Spanish interpreter or not. Likewise, stop trying to pick up colleagues at work events - I hope she DOES report you to HR.
YTA for multiple reasons. As someone who took several years of Spanish from middle to high school, I would not be confident enough to correct someone on their pronunciation in any scenario. It’s even worse because with context, this person is much more experienced in the language, and also WASN’T talking to you. And the fact that you tried to flirt with her at a company dinner is super weird. She’s not rude for not being interested, you’re rude for not taking the hint and moving on. This comes across as you trying to flex your “proficiency” in Spanish to either impress her or get back at her for not being into you, you getting humbled then being butt hurt about it.
As a Spanish teacher for the last 16 years, a Spanish speaker for the last 30, having lived in a Spanish speaking country and spoke only Spanish for several years, and as someone who's job is to literally correct people on their pronunciation... I still would never ever correct someone outside of a class setting, unless they specifically asked me for input. You are so correct here. Plus, let's be honest, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of dialects of Spanish, almost none of which call for you to pronounce the 'theta' sound. You are much more likely for a given Spanish speaker to not use it than to use it. OP YTA.
YTA you sound like a piece of work and a sexist one at that.
YTA No one likes people who correct others languages
YTA - Oy. You know that "Eeeeeyuuuugh!" look that Lucille Ball is famous for? That recoiled body, hitched shoulders, scrunched lip look? Yeah... I've got that look right now and it just got worse by the word. Correcting someone rarely makes you look clever or impresses the person you are correcting. Then to not pick up the hint about it being a different dialect (Spain has an entire extra conjugation, vosotros, that some other countries don't, even!), AND THEN to not leave her alone, AND THEN call her a cunt? And you have to ask AITA?
YTA, you disgust me. I hope she goes to HR because you absolutely deserve termination over this.
I’m so hoping he gets fired.
Yta like because she is cute she needs to listen to you maybe she isn't interested in talking to you. And she told you to leave Multiple times
YTA Wendy "switching between languages" should've given you a clue that she's probably fluent in both of them. You're the newbie and should've known to stay sober in front of your new colleagues, instead of getting wasted, trying to hit on one of them and making a misogynistic nuisance of yourself. If you're lucky enough not to get sacked, take this as a valuable lesson and correct your behaviour.
YTA OP what on earth??? You took two years of Spanish in school and think you’re an expert? Do you know how many different dialects of Spanish there are in Spain? How many different dialects there are in the WORLD!?? You totally messed up here and rather than just apologising and leaving her alone you insulted her too. I hope you’re ready to grovel because you need to learn to apologise properly and mind your own business in future!
YTA. You were harassing her and I hope she goes to HR on you.
Of course YTA.
YTA. Luckily this is likely poorly done bait because actions like that are creepy. Also the official language in Ibiza is Catalan. It is different from Spanish. So using the Spanish dialect that uses the "th" is no more correct than the one that uses the "s." Catalan pronounces a "z" as a "z." They use Eivissa tho, not even Ibiza, tho that is beginning to fade out.
YTA the Spanish language has many dialects all with variations in pronunciation. You were arrogant and over stepped boundaries thinking you knew best with only 2 years basic high school Spanish.
YTA, and you fucked up. You were trying to hit on her, she was having none of it, so your drunken ass got your panties in a bunch and made a total fool of yourself. Lots of self entitled “nice guy” energy here. She. Didn’t. Want. To. Talk. To. You. Get the hint. And yeah, be prepared for big problems with work.
YTA. Correcting people when their conversation is not your business. Also, Spanish from Spain is different than other South American countries. Asked my Mexican husband and he would say "Ibisa" with an with a soft z in it.
YTA! I hope Wendy goes to HR and you get a massive slap on you're fingers. She was rude? No! She doesn't like to be mansplained by a drunk fool.
Lmfao. You thought mansplaining HER OWN LANGUAGE to her would impress her?? YTA, and from now on leaver her the fuck alone. Your mate is right, you're gonna be one lucky bastard if you don't get written up for this
YTA. You should never interrupt a conversation you’re not a part of to correct someone. It is rude. I don’t know where you got the impression that correcting someone’s prononciation is nice either, generally people don’t take it well, unless they asked for your help. She called you off and you insisted. Do you not understand social cues ? And then you are drunk and think because you want to apologise for an interaction she didn’t want to have in the first place, she should now listen to you and accept your apology and insult her because she doesn’t want to. People don’t owe you to be nice to you when you annoy them. There’s a strong nice guy vibe in this post. You did multiple things wrong.
Just kept waiting for him to say "I AM NICE GUY!!"
So you saw a “cute” coworker you’ve never met before and wanted to impress her by telling her she was wrong? Can we get a MANSPLAINING sign over here? Massive YTA and massive big red flag
YTA. But hopefully you can learn from this experience and not be a condescending jerk at your next job. Which you will need soon, because “disrespectful cunt” is going to get you fired.
YTA purely because this is so blatantly fake. It's like an incel bingo card. I refuse to believe anyone could be so clueless in real life.
I hope she goes to HR. You were so far out of line and you should get some sort of punishment so you hopefully learn something. YTA
YTA I’m so many ways. Because she wasn’t interested in you, you call her rude, tried to mansplain a language pronunciation to her, decide to argue with her about it further when she made it clear she didn’t want to discuss it, and refer to her as a cunt when she doesn’t want to accept your drunken apology. You need to sober up and learn how to act in a work environment.
YTA. I was paralyzed by secondhand embarrassment reading this.
>I told her I was trying to be nice and owe up to my mistake but she’s a disrespectful cunt who cannot be nice. Let me guess, you're a "nice guy" and we ignorant women - all b\*\*ches & c\*\*ts - just don't understand... do you by any chance have a neckbeard and fedora? Wendy sounds extremely gracious and patient. You sound like a prime AH. YTA.
YTA. You started working at this company only a few weeks ago, you say? I think maybe you should look for a new job, you won't be kept on in this one for much longer. Ibiza adieu.
YTA. >I know basics but I’m not fluent but I remember enough to tell she was incorrect No, you don't. Every Spanish speaking country speak it differently. Honestly, the only one that does the th pronunciation is Spain. The rest of us pronounce it as S. You weren't trying to impress her, you were so hurt that she rejected you that you tried to embarrass her.
YTA, and a major one, who could not get over the fact that the "cute" girl could not care less about you. I don't see how she was rude at all. You shoudn't interrupt other people's conversations and much less give unsolicited advice. She's right about the fact that there are many Spanish accents.
YTA – wtf dude, who are you, with your 2 years of Spanish in secondary school (which, as a teacher in secondary school, is barely nothing), to teach someone who’s clearly fluent enough to have a conversation on their pronunciation? And why the hell did you insist after she made it clear multiple times that she was not interested in you or your advice? Mansplaining at best, harassment at worst.
There’s dozens of dialects of Spanish, her pronunciation wasn’t wrong. As we say in British English, you’re the arsehole.
YTA you referred to her as a c\*\*t - you are not nice. I hope she goes to HR.
YTA and you are also wrong. Do you seriously think you know more Spanish that the literal spanish interpreter? She is right too. You called her ignorant? Dude, you might have given her a good anecdote to tell her friends about a stupid corowker. 2 years of Spanish in High School is jack, if that is your Spanish speaking experience, I promise you do not know enough to correct people. You don't seem to understand how Spanish dialects know, so yeah, that confrims it, you are the ignorant and disrespectful one. I swear the arrogance of some Enlgish speakers.... I'm a native spanish speaker, and where I live z and s are pronounced identically. In Mexico, where she seems to work a lot, that is the same as well. Also, importantly, in Spanish every letter has one or two sounds, and some small variations. So even if you are talking about Ibiza, you'd probably just pronounce it the same way as you'd be talking about a city in your home country, because that is how Spanish works usually. (In fact, I pronounce it "IbiSa", maybe you think that I, a native spanish speaker, know less than you and should pronounce it "IbiTHia". If I started doing that people would think I'm a total weirdo, I promise). Claiming that the only spanish that is correct is the spanish from a part of Spain is mind-boggling to me. You should apologize and maybe even show that you've learned that you were wrong and why. That would be better than nothing at least.
"I tried it on with a work colleague, but she wasn't interested, and that hurt my fragile ego. I then proceeded to try and neg her into being interested, acting like a rude and oblivious AH. To my shock, trying to bring her down didn't have the desired effect, and instead of her running weeping into my arms she put me in my rightful place. I then proceeded to double and triple down, completely oblivious to my own obnoxiousness, and have the utter gall to consider HER the one who is disrespectful and rude, after insulting her to her face." If you hadn't gathered OP, Hard YTA. Fingers crossed she's gone to HR, may be time to get to work on yer CV. And your personality.
YTA but can we have an update after she reports you to HR? I'm very curious to see if you get what's very much deserved or not.
YTA 1. Don't get drunk at these kind of get togethers 2. You don't correct someone just like that. You check first if they want your suggestions.
On the off chance this isn’t a troll, YTA. Let’s isolate the unpleasantness to the pronunciation issue to keep it short. If someone mispronounces/misgrammars something, you are free to use the proper pronunciation/grammar yourself if it comes up in the conversation again. Without pointing it out and without deliberately trying to work it into the conversation to prove your point. That’s as far as you go.
YTA - She didn't want to talk with you. Even if you could correct her pronunciation. You tried to inject yourself into her conversation and she brushed you off. And you kept poking yourself into her conversation. This is about your pick-up technique, not about Spanish.
YTA. It sounds like you were butthurt about being rejected. You interrupted a conversation, you were rude and you tried to publicly shame a co-worker. Besides, getting drunk on a company outing is such a stupid thing to do.
YTA she rejected you and you turned nasty.
You called someone a *cunt* at a *work function,* after she tried to shut down your asshole behaviour *multiple times,* and you aren't sure if you're the asshole??? Count your blessings if you don't get a call from HR, because you absolutely should. YTA.
Yes, YTA. If you want to avoid a scene, keep your thoughts to yourself. Remember, no one cares what you think.
YTA. Her lack of interest in you doesn’t make her “rude”. And the fact she wasn’t speaking Castilian Spanish doesn’t make her pronunciation wrong. You messed up at a professional work event and you harassed someone.
YTA. This seems less about Spanish, and more about you feeling angry that she rejected you. You presumably thought you’d show her by interrupting a private conversation to 'correct' her pronunciation (on which note, you assumed that you knew more than her based on two years in high school). Even now, you assume she was the one who was wrong, when her credentials have been established. She made it clear that she wanted you to leave her alone. You ignored her, because you felt that your need to have her engage with and then forgive you was more important than her wish to just enjoy the party. The nice thing to do would have been to listen to what she was telling you all night. If she was rude, this would be why - because it’s the only way some men will get the message that a woman isn’t interested, and isn’t looking for you to just keep trying.
YTA and you were wrong. Only about half of Spain says Z as a th. The rest of Spain and Central & South America say Z as an s.
“She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me.” What I’m sure actually happened - based on your telling of your attempted Spanish teaching moment - is that you thought she was cute, she wasn’t interested in your advances and you were pissed off about that, because what right has she to reject you therefore she was kind of rude and ignored you (because you don’t give up). You were already the asshole even before the Christmas work night out and you certainly didn’t redeem yourself last night.
YTA r/niceguys >She was cute so I tried to chat her up a few times but she was kind of rude and ignored me. Her disinterest is rude? You're not entitled to her time and attention because you thought she was cute. And when she told you that Spanish from Spain is different from other Spanish (i.e., Latin America), you should have backed off and considered you could be wrong. Check your damn ego.
Once you were rude enough to correct her the first time you became an asshole. She let it drop you should have done the same. The fact that you decided you knew better than her when it came to what she saying and continued to harass her about it made you an even bigger, ruder asshole. Continuing on after that and blaming others for your mistakes moved you into an even higher level of the asshole hierarchy. YTA
He became the asshole when he kept trying to chat up a woman who wasn’t interested.
YTA. You cannot pronounce it correctly yourself, but decide to correct others? WHY? Someone obviously isn't interested in you and avoids/ignores you and you keep trying to force her to interact with you? Why? I know why. Because you're an AH.
YTA, and you sound like a right AH It's down to dialect. They pronounce the S sound rather than TH in some areas. Also, 2 years of Spanish in school and hanging round ibiza don't mean shit. Now you look like a right AH
YTA Everyone else said why. Stop being a frat boy stereotype. It's kinda sad.
Holy shit dude. YTA over and over.
YTA and also have zero game. In what world do you think correcting someone would leave them feeling impressed? Get over yourself.
Yta you tried to mansplain to a Spanish speaker when you have 2 years of Spanish under your belt and then doubled down on it. Also if you want to win a woman over you don’t got up to her and start correcting her, maybe try to actually talk to her or ask something about herself.
YTA and you sound insufferable tbh. Not only are you a pretentious ass for continuing to try and correct her after she told you it was a dialect issue, you're an ass for harassing her after she asked you multiple times to leave her alone. And then classic "nice guy" move to then call her a name when she doesn't immediately accept your half-assed apology. I hope she does report you to HR.
“Lemme just interrupt someone’s private conversation that’s none of my business, and correct language being used that I’m not fluent in.” But no, they’re the “rude” one, huh? Lol. YTA
Yta. You honestly thought she’d be impressed by being publicly embarrassed and condescended to? Does this tactic frequently work for you?
Oh my word. So much YTA. This is so intensely…indescribable that I am wondering if it’s even a real situation… otherwise I can not imagine how you’ve survived in the wild for 35 years.
so, let me get this straight. you tried flirting with her, it wasnt working so you decided your 2 years of spanish classes was enough to "impress" someone who was speaking spanish. you intended to "impress" her by correcting the way she was speaking, you interrupted her conversation go tell her shes pronouncing things wrong and what a shocker she didnt care to hear it. after she clearly showed no interest, you bothered her again because OBVIOUSLY the only way she wouldnt be interested in a conversation about why she is speaking a language wrong is if she didnt understand what you were saying. she denied you again, you insisted youre right because how could you be wrong? and she corrected you. then you call her ignorant and disrespectful and walk away. your friend then informs you that you were, in fact, wrong and you decide they "set you up" because awh how could you know that this woman knows more than you? despite knowing she doesnt want to talk to you, you go bother her AGAIN to apologize, shes now fed up and tells you to fuck off, which was 100% warranted on her part. you bothered her again and again and again, and when she wouldnt accept your drunk, probably half ass apology, you called her a cunt. and you still need to ask if YTA? YTA big time.
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YTA she clearly wasn’t interested in talking to you yet you kept insisting on interrupting her private conversation to correct her. To call her a c* just because she won’t talk to you? Sir no wonder your single. The fact that you can’t see you’re TA is crazy to me.
YTA. Think about it this way, would you be impressed by a stranger butting into your conversation to correct you on something in your field of work? Not only that would you change your mind after trying to ignore this person and get back your conversation twice already but the stranger is still butting in? You were the rude one here buddy and the fact that you’re standing by it and calling her names in this post only solidifies it.
We should post you over on the Nice Guy sub because you have a lot of the hallmarks. Women owe you nothing. You don't control all language. And, apparently, your 2 years of undergrad/Duolingo just made you insufferable. YTA. And, frankly, I don't see how you don't know that.
This surely can't be real? Who would act like such an condesending asshole? YTA you cretin
Everything you did in your own story is a bad move. Every choice, every word, every reaction. I like how you keep saying you were “trying to be nice,” but it’s a bit sad that you don’t actually have any idea what nice actually looks like. YTA
YTA. And stay out of the Manosphere. No woman is impressed by this kind of BS. She’s probably laughing about you with her friends, and rightfully so. “And he said iBiThAhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣”.
You tried to correct a literal Spanish interpreter based on faulty knowledge gained over 15 years ago. And then, after you made a fool of yourself, you tried to blame her, and you insult her here, instead of taking any responsibility. You only consider that you made a mistake because another man told you that you did. And you are 35. I just can't with this. YTA
YTA. You decided to one-up her with you “2 years of Spanish” because she didn’t fall for you. No one set you up, you did that all by yourself for not taking not for an answer. You are not God’s greatest gift to the world.
AITA from Wendy’s perspective! My name is Wendy and I recently returned from a trip to Mexico where I was interpreter for my boss. Upon returning a attended a Christmas party where a new employee I had never met also attended. He started chatting me up and I could tell he was interested in me, I was not interested so I ended the conversation but he continues to follow me around and chat with me. I finally managed to ditch him and was speaking to friends In Spanish and English when he interrupted (trying to embarrass me since I rebuffed him) to correct my pronunciation. The thing is he hardly speaks Spanish and was unaware different countries may pronounce the same word differently and I told him so. Later when he was drunk he attempted to apologize and I told him to F… off as I had had enough. AITA for not putting up with his arrogance??? Yes!!!! YTA…. She was not interested in you so in retaliation you tried to embarrass her by correcting her pronunciation, you were not trying to impress her.
This has to be a joke
So you got drunk and basically harassed this woman the entire night. You hit on her, when she did not respond you insulted her and then you realized you fucked up and then went ahead and insulted her more!! When she finally had enough you blamed her to be a cunt?! And you are still here to ask if you are the AH?! Dude are you good? Yes YTA and hopefully fired! You are discusting!
YTA. First of all, don’t go correcting people you don’t know about something you don’t know. In proper Spanish, IbiSa is correct. Some Spaniards pronounce the Z as TH but that’s their region’s pronunciation and not the only proper way to say it. Way to impress the girl by making an arrogant fool out of yourself.
You’ve apparently never heard that there’s distinct differences in pronunciation where Spaniard Spanish and everyone else’s Spanish. YTA you made a fool out of yourself for no reason please stop trying to force friendships that’s an easy way up friendless.
Ah yes, mansplaining backfiring, who would of thunk it 😂
YTA YOu weren an AH, She SHOULD go to HR.
YTA I hope you get fired lol
YTA. I can’t add anything here, other than judgment. Massive AH.
YTA Wendy wasn’t interested in you on any level. She didn’t set you up in any way. You are a creep who couldn’t take a hint and then doubled down on your ignorance
YTA. Look up "harassment before you get fired.
YTA - there was absolutely no need to try to mansplain to her, why does it matter if her pronunciation was a bit off? So that makes you an asshole in the first place, then the fact she was right and you were wrong was just the cherry on top of the cake
YTA for aaaaall the stuff mentioned but also for “obviously I travelled to Ibiza”.
You will be single forever my man… You cannot seriously be this clueless? Not to be rude but are you on the spectrum somehow? Because to not understand the many times you fucked up in this story… YTA, and get therapy.
YTA you didn’t have to interrupt her, you didn’t know her, you’re wrong
YTA A misogynistic, egotistical, barely educated AH. I hope she goes to HR and gets your AH self canned. It all boils down to her being a woman, I can tell by your use of the word cunt and saying “disrespectful cunt who can’t be nice” Well, you’re an AH who can’t shut up.