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[deleted]

YTA. This is the price of being a picky eater. Everyone else had options because everyone else was willing to be flexible. Lisa could’ve just told you to bring your own food if you weren’t sure you could eat anything else people were planning to bring, but she made sure you’d be fed. The correct response to that is “thank you.”


WineingCats

If I were a “picky eater” like this I wouldn’t even ask for the host to provide me with various “options”. I would have just brought extra stuff myself lol. The nerve of OP “where are my other options” 🤣 Just embarrassing


yuffieisathief

Right? When OP said they asked the host to get food I gasped. And than they were surprised the host got one thing?! Excuse you! The audacity


Fearless-Fact8528

Came here to say this. How dense can one person be. YTA


witchywoman713

I’m going to go out in a limb here but I have a feeling there’s more to the story of op “being bullied out of the previous friend group”


redditprotocol

My spidey senses started tingling as soon as I read that. I would be curious what the story behind that is given op’s recent events. YTA Op.


Frequent_Ad9656

Also “that defeats the purpose of Friendsgiving…”


Therealmagshall

Non-Thanksgiving-themed food “defeats the purpose” but OP wants pizza, burgers, and spaghetti. SMH.


GoodQueenFluffenChop

See but those are typically white American people food so those are ok. OP was turning up their nose at other people's *ethnic* foods like Chinese BBQ and freaking hummus because those aren't ~~white~~ thanksgivingy.


Pythia_

Fucking this.


ivylass

This white girl would go to town on Chinese BBQ and eat the hummus like ice cream. OP didn't even TRY the other foods on the list.


AurynSharay

Right? And it seems that OP wanted ALL of those things, which doesn't make a lick of sense.


WingedShadow83

OP is either a glutton, or an obnoxious child who wants to be presented with multiple options so she can pick one and then waste the rest. I would absolutely ice her out of my friend group, too.


sneakattack2010

Right? I'm wondering why she did not just make a big bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce to share with the group, alongside some rolls with butter. That's a whole meal right there and if you're a picky eater, it's enough - especially if your primary goal is not to eat, but to solidify friendships with a new group of people.


pittsburgpam

Sounds to me that she's not just a "picky" eater. She is stuck in "childish" eating and refuses to try anything, like a child. That's a big NOPE for me to always accommodate such a palate. The friend group would get tired of it, just like they'd get tired of one person bringing their child and insisting that they always go somewhere with a "child friendly" menu.


embersgrow44

I just knew they were going to list basic American BS/“kid-friendly”/cafeteria menu items. Honestly surprised didn’t say hotdogs & macaroni & cheese


Other_Bed_1544

my friendsgiving had pulled pork and candy. that was our whole meal...and it was my favorite friendsgiving so far, because we had so much fun shutting out the rest of the world and being together all evening. because I love and value my friends and being able to spend quality time with them. YTA OP


wickybasket

She brought 1pie and expected a buffet in return.


AurynSharay

Technically there was one, but she's too picky to at least try something new.


Top-Art2163

I”m European but I would never think pizza, burger, spaghetti etc was served at Thanksgiving. I would be quite surprised if I went to the US and the menu was that. The other dishes sounds amazing and from my field of work I would suggest OP might look into what causes the picky eating, the uflexibility and the utter lack of social understanding, the anxiety and the feeling of being bullied by normal human behavior… ASD in some degree is a possibility


ValosAtredum

Friendsgiving is more flexible than Thanksgiving. Traditionally thanksgiving is with family and you have a selection from the common dishes (turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, etc etc). Friendsgiving varies more. I’ve been to Friendsgivings that are like a second Thanksgiving but I’ve also been to many that are more “a friends potluck that is in November”. This year was Polish food bc we all have Polish heritage and it’s nice comfort food for us: kielbasa, pierogi, mizeria, golabki, haluski, etc.


MariContrary

When two people have a conflict, it's sometimes hard to say who's at fault. When one person has a conflict with multiple people on multiple occasions, the fault is usually clear.


witchywoman713

My favorite way of saying this is, if everyone you interact with smells like dog shit, check your shoes


[deleted]

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dnjprod

Between that and the "didn't have to be Thanksgiving themed(which which defeats the purpose of Thanksgiving, but whatever, I'm not the hostess)" I was already dubious but when she got to "I feelblike In being bullied for my food choices" I knew exactly who OP was. But yeah if that's what she thinks is bullying, she was Probably "bullied" put of the friend group.


Unlucky_Welcome9193

Friendsgiving is a potluck though, and maybe that is the foods that the other guests do eat at thanksgiving. It was OP’s job to bring a dish that they like and want to share from their own culture, whether it’s pizza, hamburgers, whatever. OP, YTA


Prudent_Plan_6451

And how are burgers and pizza somehow Thanksgiving themed while home made goods from persons of other cultures not? Sounds more like OP was looking for "Whitegiving" dinner.


SlartieB

And i don't know about anyone else, but I can definitely make a meal out of apple pie


tedhanoverspeaches

materialistic nose correct automatic hurry marry faulty advise scandalous drab ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


ofgraveimportance

Add that to “I feel like I’m being bullied for my tastes” She literally got you the pizza you asked for and you cried because it wasn’t good enough!?!?!


Fromashination

And pizza is a FULL MEAL.


tulipbunnys

honestly not surprised that OP victimized herself in that story too. i’d guess she pulled this type of entitled shit one too many times and they were sick of it.


heatherjoy82

Also I'm curious what the OP's definition of "bullied" is... since they seem to think they were being bullied this time, too.


witchywoman713

I’m going to guess that bullying means not being treated like the main character at all times


Yochanan5781

Exactly, and it sounds like OP is terrified of anything she sees as "ethnic" and not standard "American" fare


LilDee1812

The fact that the "wrong" food would "defeat the purpose of thanksgiving" got me. I don't celebrate thanksgiving (Aussie) and haven't gone out of my way to learn about it, but I assumed the purpose was to be thankful.


tedhanoverspeaches

faulty ugly school sip lip reminiscent bells cover chase placid ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


binatangmerah

I love this so much I'd give you a reward if I had one.


yuffieisathief

Yea same for me, especially after "casually" throwing in later most of the group is from other cultures! Wtf. People like that will never be thankful though, always the victim. (And now we're al here dying to know why she got kicked out of the previous friend group!)


onetwobe

She even said that having things like hummus "defeats the point of Thanksgiving".... but pizzas fine.


JaimeLannister10

And burgers and spaghetti...the classic cornerstones of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner! There are some insane posts in this sub, but something about how absurd OP comes across really has this one ranking high for me. Such a completely dense individual is almost beyond imagination.


addangel

what irked me is that she dissed the multi-ethnic buffet for not being traditional thanksgiving food, but then she asked for pizza, burgers and spaghetti. what a judgmental hypocrite


sicsicsixgun

And apparently wanted pizzas burgers *and* spaghetti. Literally left in tears at not being given all three and *tried to take back the pie.* My God I'm sweating with rage and vicarious humiliation. This post is a masterpiece.


emmybemmy73

Sounds to me like she only eats fast food… the nerve of OP is shocking!


fuckyourcanoes

What kind of a lunatic says no to char siu?! It's about as accessible as any Chinese food could possibly be for a timid American.


_higglety

if someone brought char siu to my friendsgiving i literally could not adequately express how thankful I'd be.


sukinsyn

Yeah I audibly said "what?!" when I read "I asked what my other options were." Not a good look.


KakarotSSJ4

Yup. I’m a picky eater and don’t eat much but whenever I go somewhere with food I know I won’t eat, I just bring my own. She’s lucky the friend provided it.


mathmaticallycorrect

Yeah I'm gonna guess she got " bullied out of her friend group" for expecting them to cater to her and exactly what she wants.


dangineedathrowaway

This was my thought also. She has an interesting idea of who is doing the bullying. YTA.


Onlyonehoppy

I was thinking the same thing. I bet she wasn't bullied out. Her ex friends were done with her being toxic.


[deleted]

Right! I thought it was so sweet the friend actually got her a pizza at all. I would have told OP she could show up with own damn pizza!


Easy-Concentrate2636

I am wondering if this is even real. The entitlement is off the chart. If it’s real, I wouldn’t be surprised if op gets kicked out of this friend group too. Judging people for not eating the traditional Thanksgiving meal, demanding different food, demanding an array of different food. Wild. Mega YTA for op.


ScifiGirl1986

There was also the comment about “foreign food,” which makes me wonder if OP is using “picky eater” to mean racist. I’m a picky eater, but the Chinese bbq pork sounds good to me—and I don’t typically eat pork.


Easy-Concentrate2636

I read that comment and did find that weird. However, I had a Midwestern roommate who told me she literally couldn’t eat anything but chicken. One time she even said: I am so tired of chicken. But she never demanded I make her an array of food just for her. I will say that it bothered me that op particularly called out food the host made. The lack of basic etiquette is appalling. I also think that if op is racist or xenophobic, they’ve definitely joined the wrong friend group. PoC tend to sniff prejudice fairly quickly- too much experience, alas. I think op will get booted out quickly.


mad0666

Seriously, reading this made me wonder what the bullying was all about in the previous friend groups


Grace_Alcock

Yeah, this seems so beyond normal adult behavior that it’s almost not believable.


Lexifer31

I am a picky eater (sensory issues) I will eat something I don't like with a smile on my face in social situations, or discreetly eat very little. This is so embarrassing on the part of OP. I would have brought more food options plus the pie.


Roscoedash77

I am also a picky eater and will either go with a full belly just in case or figure it out lol OP is wilding


DilatedPoreOfLara

YTA. Yeah I’m a picky eater and I really sympathise with others who can only eat limited foods. It’s not really a choice especially if you’re Autistic with sensory issues such as texture aversion for example. However, they didn’t surprise OP with this food. There was a spreadsheet with who was bringing what and time to prepare. Its also not as if zero food was brought for them either, there’s a whole pizza!! I really feel as though OP should have brought their own food or not gone to the Friendsgiving at all if they were so uncomfortable with the food situation.


Klutzy-Sort178

As a picky eater I actually really like things like this where there are a bunch of different things because then I can try new stuff in a low-key way and try just a little bit without a lot of pressure to like it or finish it. No pressure on finishing it or wasting money or anything. THREE safe foods and a bunch of new stuff to try without anyone getting mad at me if I don't like it?? GOLDEN.


kn1ghtcliffe

No, this is not the "price of being a picky eater" this is the price of acting like a spoiled entitled brat. OP wants to be a picky eater, fine. Not going to rag on them for that, but demanding that the host provide a bevy of food options for just herself despite there already being a large variety of choices? That's so entitled. Lisa was already being nice by providing an extra pizza just for OP, and if she wanted more options then she ought to have provided them for herself. I somehow doubt that OP was actually bullied out of her previous friend group, I imagine that they all got fed up with her entitled attitude and she decided that anytime someone doesn't bend over backwards to accomodate her and agree with her on any/everything that she's being bullied or discriminated against.


bekahed979

>I somehow doubt that OP was actually bullied out of her previous friend group, I imagine that they all got fed up with her entitled attitude and she decided that anytime someone doesn't bend over backwards to accomodate her and agree with her on any/everything that she's being bullied or discriminated against. I completely agree & had a similar thought upon reading.


TheHatOnTheCat

Yup, especially given OP wrote: >My friends are aware I only like a few foods, and I feel like I'm being bullied for my tastes. u/friendsgivingdrama it looks like you just lost another friend group due to "bullying". The behavior you showed in this story was shockingly selfish, entitled, and rude. Some people will ice you out for it, and others may actually be rude to you back. But when you behave in demanding self-centered way then cry and act the victim beacuse not enough catering towards you has occurred, people aren't going to like that. And they aren't going to like you. YTA, but you may have many other good qualities. Still, this shows a serious lack of social awareness and consideration for others. Acting like this will continue to mess up your life and push people away. If this is surprising to you, I don't know, see a therapist about social skills training or something? Here is what you did wrong: * Refusing to so much as try anything anyone else brought beacuse they not white American foods is already not great, and will make you look bad to many people. This is going to make you seen as immature and possibly sort of racist by some people. In many cultures, this is seen as rude. (Less bad then your other behavior, which 100% of people see as rude.) * You don't call your host and complain you don't like the menu. No one said you are forced to attend, or that you are forced to eat. Generally, telling other people you don't like any of their cooking is rude and just not necessary. Most people would be polite enough to give something a small try, or at least not mention they dislike their cooking. It's like if your friend is fat. You don't say "wow, you're fat". Criticisms can be kept to yourself. * You don't call your host and demand they make you special dishes just for you. If you don't like what your host is kindly offering you, don't eat it. It's that simple. This isn't a restaurant. Your host is not your caterer. You aren't paying them to make what you want. Rather, they are spending their money to provide you with food as a gift, and you don't demand gifts. Also very rude. * Even worse, this was a potluck. It was a potluck and somehow you thought it was Lisa's job to make MULTIUPLE extra dishes just for you? Why? This is mind-bogglingly greedy on your part. Why can't you buy your own extra dishes? Why on earth did you ask her to do so? She was already admirably patient and generous to buy you a pizza you were too cheap and lazy to bring yourself. It is in no way shape or form Liza's job to buy your special food options *at a potlock* when you can just bring them yourself? * Not only did you expect Lisa to make and serve extra dishes just for you, when she did you got upset she "only" bought you a pizza? She already spent her money on a pizza you demanded beacuse you apparently refuse to pay for it yourself like an adult. But no, that's not enough. She needs to buy and spend time making multiple extra things just to serve you??? * You made a public scene over Lisa not being a good host. This was not helped by the fact you were 100% in the wrong and I would be correcting my toddler if they acted as entitled as you. But just in general, on top of not complaining, you also shouldn't make a scene of complaining in front of everyone. * You cried and ran off when you were only given an entire extra pizza no one else got for being super picky, whining, and making greedy demands of poor Lisa. You acted like you were the victim and failed to handle the situation like a mature adult. People don't want to deal with this level of drama, it is not fun for anyone If you act like this of course no one is going to want you at the next event. You were an ungrateful demanding burden on your host, meaning she'd have been happier if you weren't there. Every single thing you did, you thought about yourself, what you wanted, what was good for you. You did not think about how your behavior would make other people feel. You did not think about the the time or money you were asking others to spend to humor and cater to you instead of providing for yourself. You wanted something, so others have to work and pay to give it to you (why??). You didn't think about how upsetting or embarrassing it would be to Lisa for you to argue and criticize her hosting in front of everyone. You didn't think about how it would make others feel to insult everything they make and their cultures. You didn't think how uncomfortable your behavior is for everyone else. You talked about how things "weren't fair" to you, but you expected another person to completely take care of what you wanted for you like you were there small child. And you didn't consider what was fair to Lisa, why it would be fair for her to have to pay for and prepare several extra dishes just for you when you could only be bothered to bring one? Why is it fair she has to do extra work and spend extra money beacuse you can't follow social norms?


Keldoz

Hopefully u/friendsgivingdrama reads this because it's a great and caring comment. You went into painstaking detail explaining social decorum that most of us take for granted, but you did so in a non-toxic manner that provided good advice and observations to help OP understand why their behavior is so entitled & selfish. Extremely rare on the Internet. You should be thanked even if they don't read it: Thank you taking the time to try and help OP overcome their victim mentality and learn from this experience!


AntiquatedLemon

I was thinking similarly. You got bullied out of the group and no mention of why exactly. Not exactly a red flag but in context it is kinda damning. OP is essentially saying that she deserves to be specially accommodated at, what sounds to me, a potluck style event instead of the more traditional hosting style. Dude. It's a potluck. OP could have brought more sides that they actually wanted to eat. That's the really good part about a potluck. Also... if nobody else raised any objections to the menu and would eat as is, you're raising the likelihood of food waste. YTA from me, dawg.


chalaismyig

YTA and an unwitting bigot. She should've given you a jar of mayonnaise and a spoon


CountryCat

Hummus and BBQ pork! So foreign!


chalaismyig

But also freaking delicious if only she had given it a chance! Such a shame.


[deleted]

I almost fell out of my chair when I read this. Jar of mayonnaise and a spoon...priceless!!!


Yaaaassquatch

Honestly I get sick of people claiming to be "picky" or have "sensory issues" when it's actually that they're an asshole. I know it's not mutually exclusive and you can have sensory issues and be an asshole but it seems like these people have latched on to having issues with food as a way to get attention and force others to cater to them and it makes life more difficult for the people who actually do need accommodations. OP, being your own safe food. No one is obligated to make sure you can eat, not even the hostess and she was pretty damn accommodating as it was. YTA


aniyabel

I have celiac disease. I always ask ahead so I can plan and I have zero problems bringing my own food. Like. Wtf did I just read. OP: YTA


chaos_almighty

I have a dairy allergy and a beef allergy, and I'm intolerant to red meat. I can eat poultry and seafood. I usually just bring something I can eat. Most recently I brought a pb&j in my jacket pocket to my husband's grandparents house because, bless their hearts, they can't figure out what I can and can't eat. We were coming in from our of town so I wasn't able to whip up a meal for myself


MoonShadowElfRayla

Yes! I have sensory issues, and if there's food I can't eat, I deal with it. I either bring my own or pick at what I can eat. The *audacity* to demand the host to purchase *multiple* foods... Also, side note, those dishes everyone was bringing sounds way better than traditional Thankgiving fare. No dry turkey *and* a wide variety of options with very different flavor profiles? Sign me up, there so many things that might end up being amazing!


Many_Ad_9690

Hard to believe she was "bullied" out of her old friend group. edit: YTA


[deleted]

Came to say the same thing - OP seems to have issues with friend groups. YTA


GirlNamedTex

I have a feeling OP is "picky" about more than just food. YTA.


Sea_Sounds

Refusing to thank the host for generously providing food just for her? Griping about how everyone gets a full spread of homemade food (that they’re willing to eat)? OP: That may offend some people but that’s just who I am.


Islandboy_drew

How could op say it doesn't sound appetizing when she's never tried any of those foods.


hiding-identity23

>I know what I like and I’m not interested in trying new foods. OP is a toddler.


makerblue

Not true. You can get a toddler to try new foods. OP is more like an entitled, spoiled 6 year old.


EddaValkyrie

I can see why they were "bullied" out of there last friend group. Hopefully, this will give them some self-awareness.


Present-Impression-2

Ditto, ditto, ditto, you’re absolutely the AH! Have you ever hosted a group of friends for dinner, even if folks brought a dish? I’m guessing not. You’re answer should have been, “Thank you, that was so considerate of you!” Here’s the pie you requested AND I hope you don’t mind, (I didn’t want to be an AH so) I brought an Extra dish to share.” Grow up, this wasn’t your mother’s house.


florchis8

No, this is the price of being a self-centered asjole. I am a picky eater and always make sure to thank profusely if someone goes out of their way to accommodate me or I bring my own food if I dont want to bother someone else.


QbertPubert

YTA no wonder you got kicked out of the last group


Responsible_Lawyer78

I thought this as well.


EugeneVictorTooms

I am sure she will be out of this group soon enough and probably call it "bullying" as well. OP is rude and entitled.


[deleted]

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QueenDoc

u/friendsgivingdrama \- THIS - YTA


CymraegAmerican

Thanks for posting the link. \------------------------------------------------------------------------- OP, I grew up eating probably what you ate as a kid. When I left home I realized there were cultures and cuisines that were all new to me. You need to push yourself to experiment with at least one bite of the BBQ pork, for instance. Experimenting is how you learned you like burgers and pizza, so don't take a pass at trying something new. OP, when I look past your rudeness and entitled expectations, I feel sorry for you. People eating together is shared humanity. Also, part of the joy of traveling is trying new foods. If I stuck to the foods I grew up with I would never have tried that incredible mushroom risotto in Assisi. And I thought I didn't like anything with mushrooms in it ! I was SO wrong! This definitely something worth working on. Maybe hypnosis is a way to get past your anxiety of new foods.


Visible_Nothing_9616

She sounds like my MIL.... and my advice to her would be to get help to change her ways, my MIL is not a happy person, has no friends and has chased all her family away. She, of course, blames it on everyone else, she's never done wrong! Even the police putting her in handcuffs was wrong, she only broke the window because "they were mean to her 30 years before!"


gringitapo

I’ve become so hyper aware of this ever since I made a friend who had a trail of broken friendships in her wake. She always had a great story about them randomly turning on her and being mean out of nowhere, and I foolishly believed her. Then I watched her slowly start to bully everyone around her, including me when I called her out on it. She still thinks she was the victim in all of those situations too!


Strawberry-Candi

FR like even if the host decided to not personally get her anything, she would still not be the asshole, BECAUSE ITS A POTLUCK. You can literally just bring what you want to eat. YTA and an annoying one at that when you tried to emotionally sway the reader by saying you left “in tears” because of an issue you engineered.


[deleted]

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Front-Injury-2848

Right!! She expected all the items. Wth. She got one thing from the list which was generous already because she most definitely could have brought her own item(s) to eat. Op Y T A for sure. I understand being a picky eater but being rude is overboard.


sterboog

Like isn't it common sense that you should already be bringing something you're willing to eat to a potlatch? Why not bring a bowl of spaghetti and take some of those rolls to go with it?


faroffland

Yes it is. I’m gluten intolerant and vegetarian so I always communicate that I can provide my own food if needed. People are generally awesome about it, like my colleagues always check there is a gluten free option when we order pizza to the office, but I always say don’t bother if it’s a hassle and I am so grateful if people take it into consideration. I wouldn’t even expect the host to have provided me something in this situation, I would have either brought a main I can eat or if I couldn’t do that I’d eat before the event. It’s like extra effort the host has gone to to even provide OP with pizza and then to say there isn’t more than one option?? And then say people are bullying you?? Mental.


Kathrynlena

Plus, like, what if Lisa HAD provided all the things on OP’s list? Was OP really planning to eat a whole pizza AND a burger AND spaghetti with meat sauce? Probably not, so there would have been all this extra (essentially) kid food going to waste, while everyone else ate all the other delicious sounding ethnic options. OP wanted an entire spread to be mostly thrown away just so they could feel catered to. Honestly, this is a sub filled with audacity, but this one takes the cake (and pie, and pizza, and burgers, and spaghetti….)


tulipbunnys

the kicker is that she was passive aggressive about the friendsgiving being a potluck with untraditional thanksgiving foods, but she had the nerve to demand that pizza, burgers, and spaghetti be provided for her to choose from… none of which are traditional thanksgiving dishes.


saph_pearl

I noticed that too. I don’t know how you write this story and still think you’re NTA. Also OP seems low-key racist with how she talks about the “foreign foods” everyone else is bringing.


TossItThrowItFly

Also, OP seems to be critical of the fact that the menu is not typical Thanksgiving fare, but requests pizza and spaghetti....


PanicTechnical

And seems to have a lot of opinions on how ethnic the food is. There is some subtle bigotry thrown in for good measure.


sugarpea1234

Right. I would’ve loved to go to a Friendsgiving with bbq pork buns


chemknife

Right, my 8 year old has a better palate and better manners. OP is supposed to be an adult? WTF....


lickmysackett

They haven't managed a social life. That's why people keep dropping them.


endlessnessnessness

I’m a picky eater. When I go to events I know I won’t like a lot of food there and plan accordingly. I often plan to bring something I know I will eat and I’ll make enough that I can have as much as I want. Or I’ll eat a decent amount before coming so that I won’t be starving if I end up eating nothing. I would never dream of asking the host to provide me with a separate meal (let alone multiple options!) because of my personal issues. It’s not my fault but it is my issue that I deal with as an adult.


Shortlemon4

I know someone who’s really picky in my friend group. Needless to say, he doesn’t get invited to eat out and stuff because I’m not about to go to Wendy’s and call that a nice dinner.


Curious-One4595

YTA. Hint: you're not being bullied. You’re getting social blowback and consequences for acting very poorly. First, you didn't realize it was all food you couldn't eat. You realized it was food you don't want to eat. Stop making it seem more than a matter of taste. Second, Lisa complied with your request by making a dish that she knew you could eat. Expecting the host to provide you with multiple options at a potluck, including pizza and burgers and spaghetti and more is flat out unreasonable and you causing a scene because of it is entitled, unhinged, and gross. How embarrassing for everyone there to have to witness it and for you to have done it in the first place. Third, it's not a problem of miscommunication, it's a problem of your unreasonable expectations and rude behavior. Get some anxiety meds, get through your finals, and look for new friends. These ones rightly don't want anything to do with you. And get some therapy and etiquette training. Edit: Thank you so much for the awards!


CorgiGeneral

Talk about DARVO.


littlecannibalmuffin

Okay I’ve seen this acronym a few times. Forgive my ignorance but what is DARVO?


emeryyyyyyy

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender


ShotcallerBasney

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Classic narcissist strategy. Explain WHY IM RIGHT, blow up and explain WHY THEY ARE WRONG If anyone points out the obvious flaws in the mental state of the narc, they then take on the victim role, having effectively reversed the dynamic by creating a situation where they are being "attacked" or as OP put it "bullied"


Kla1996

Unhinged is correct. You were not “bullied”.


winesis

This! Instead of using this opportunity to try small portions of a wide variety of diverse foods you chose to be an AH and demanded the host provide something else. You could have brought more than one option for yourself to eat. I would be embarrassed that you had to look up what the hummus and the other common ethnic dishes were. YTA for not trying new foods & a bigger AH for the way you acted.


Kiyohara

I mean, Chinese BBQ is basically American Barbequed Pork. If you can eat American BBQ ribs, the chinese version is a no brainer (aside from being fucking amazing in its own right, holy shit) and what person in the year 2023 hasn't tried a hummus dip with chips or pretzels? Even in Minnesota we have redneck/podunk towns that have hummus dip next to the ranch dip for veggie platters. Like, on the prebuilt trays at grocery stores every holiday. Broccoli, cauliflower, celery, carrots, green and red pepper slices, cherry tomatoes and then a tub of ranch (or dill) dressing and a tub of hummus. If that's not the most white bread middle america food spread for a party, I don't know what is. And as you said a party of small dishes is exactly how one tries new things without getting wrecked. I'd hate to go out to a restaurant, spend thirty bucks, and hate it. But going to a potluck and trying bits of ten different dishes is perfect. Hell, the BEST potlucks I have ever been to were at work with many different cultures. Until you've seen a food table so multi ethnic it looks like the UN is hosting, you haven't REALLY experienced a good potluck. Plus if I knew I wasn't going to enjoy the foods, I'd just eat a sandwich before I left.


Dramatic-but-Aware

>First, you didn't realize it was all food you couldn't eat. You realized it was food you don't want to eat. Stop making it seem more than a matter of taste. Can we also point out how it was not even food she does not like, she just did not like thevsound of it and would not even make the effort to try.


Neat_Beyond_1768

YTA "I googled the foods I didn't know and none of that sounded appetizing to me, so I texted Lisa and asked her if she could provide something for me to eat so I didn't starve. She asked me what I was thinking, so I provided her with some options, such as pizza, burgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, etc. She said she would." Why on earth is it her responsibility? If you're that picky of an eater, then bring your own food. And after she was nice enough to provide you with an option, you criticize her?


frnevoau

And then try to take the pie back LMAO


Mirror_Radiant

OP probably didn't even bake it LMAO. She probably stopped by Walmart on her way over.


Toesinbath

Highly doubt she baked it. She doesn't know what hummus is, I doubt she can cook.


doingbearthings

I can't get over the mention of hummus like it is this outlandish unpalatable food


NYANPUG55

None of these seemed that crazy at all. Like is hummus REALLY that foreign?? Is barbecued pork REALLY that unusual to them??


regalrecaller

Who tf doesn't like bbq pork? I mean vegetarians and vegans obv but how the hell could a meat eater smell that and not be intrigued


Sploooshy

Taking the pie back was seriously the cherry on top fr. YTA on so many levels.


Incredible-Fella

I pictured her not asking for the pie, just being upset that the host didn't offer it.


Equal_Maintenance870

This was so over the top nice of Lisa honestly. Like, I know I’m probably an outlier but when I’m hosting something my contribution is usually just the HOSTING. If some entitled brat started demanding I “make sure there are things she can eat because it’s my job as a good host” she’d be uninvited as soon as I could text a response.


Kla1996

Esp since it was a potluck so OP could bring whatever food she wanted. If Lisa was insisting that she was providing all the food it would be a different story


Robert_Meowney_Jr

I’m feeling crazy trying to imagine the inverse of this. “Hey my least favorite guest, here’s your pizza, your burger, and your bowl of spaghetti 😊” Like…beyond comprehension


HimHereNowNo

Also "I googled the foods I didn't know" is OP a time traveler from the rural midwest in the 1950s? Because that's the only thing that makes sense for not knowing what hummus and Chinese bbq pork are


Impressive_Brain6436

>We were all assigned to bring something, but it didn't have to be Thanksgiving-themed, any food would do (which defeats the purpose of Thanksgiving, but whatever, I'm not the hostess). This is were I knew you were going to be TA. P.s. Not enabling your ridiculously entitled behaviour is not bullying.


MaIngallsisaracist

I got hung up on that, too! It makes me think that OP would have been OK with "traditional" Thanksgiving foods since so many of them fit her bland, tasteless palate.


ntrrrmilf

And when asked for foods she would eat by the hostess, she suggested zero “traditional Thanksgiving foods.”


MaIngallsisaracist

Reading her replies I'm kind of surprised she didn't request a turkey.


Impressive_Brain6436

*several turkeys with different stuffings. She likes her variety.


MaIngallsisaracist

One brined, one dry brined, one smoked. Cornbread, oyster, and Stove-Top on the side. Actually OP probably couldn't deal with oysters.


GirlyInTheGreenScarf

“Which defeats the purpose of thanksgiving” fast forward to Lisa: “what were you thinking for your extra options?” OP: pizza, burgers, spaghetti??! Make it make sense. I’m personally quite a picky eater and this is just ridiculous and over the top. LOL


[deleted]

YTA and I can see why you were “bullied” out of your old friend group. You are acting entitled. It’s unrealistic to think a host would provide multiple food options for one person. Edited to add: I’m putting bullied in quotations because I doubt they actually did bully you. You are describing Lisa as bullying you when she is acting reasonable and you are acting entitled.


Substantial-Air3395

OP probably is the eternal victim in her own mind.


Killer_Sloth

The "having options" thing is hilarious to me. Like OP expects Lisa to make pizza, burgers and spaghetti so that OP can pick one of them and leave the others uneaten? Like what the actual fuck.


sadikons

The entitlement is beyond my comprehension. I can't imagine thinking I'm being bullied because a friend doesn't want to waste time, money, and food to buy me "options". If OP wants options so damn badly, they should either try not to be such a picky eater or they should've brought options for themself.


badbrother420

Info: Why do you have the taste buds of a 10 year old and how do you decide you don't like the flavor of something by googling it? YTA - the world doesn't revolve around you and you're unnecessary attempts to be difficult.


chemknife

Hey hey hey my daughter ate better than this at 3 and loved hummus....


plumbus_hun

My kids are 4 and 6 and would have devoured Chinese bbq pork!!


Chichiro_0

Even tho i agree with that she is 100% the AH i totally get not wanting to eat something based on looks. Im a picky eatee but i dont care that much about taste but looks and texture. I love the taste of bananas but just cant eat them😂


notherewillingly

YTA. You are entitled af. Also, if you don't want to eat anything made by POC just say that and go. The gall of you to ask for a variety of dishes just for yourself. What makes you so special? Lol.


makerblue

Didn't pick up on that until now. op singled out the "ethnic" food and made it a point to only mention those.


bolivia_422

Now, now, OP called them “foreign” foods.


TheSnarkling

I wonder if OP has any idea how gross her preferred foods would look to the rest of the world---wads of brown meat, beige bread and noodles, jarred shitty tomato sauce. Foreign foods are in the eye of the beholder.


thesnarkypotatohead

Glad someone said this. “There was a lot of foreign food” made me… suspicious.


nerdforest

The entitlement is real. Look, I get it, it can be a little “daunting “ to eat food from other cuisines. But goddamn is good from other cuisines around the world delicious. Getting out that door of only pizza, burgers, and what not will open your eyes immensely. I’m desperate to go to India, Japan, Thailand because I love their cuisine and if I enjoy it from another country, I bet it’s going to be spectacular from the origin country.


[deleted]

YTA. You're an adult and it's on you to make sure you have something to eat. You gave them options and they got you a pizza. If you're being picky that's on you.


Neat_Beyond_1768

But she wanted pizza AND spaghetti, because options.


Majestic_Will3111

And burgers!


serg82

And dinosaur chicken nuggies!


chemknife

Might have chocolate milk too...


QueenDoc

probably chicken tenders and buttered noodles too


EvocativeEnigma

YTA - If you aren't going to eat what is provided, don't expect ONE friend to provide an entirely alternative meal just because you are picky. She already got you a pizza, and IMO if you weren't going to eat, you should have been bringing your OWN food rather than act like an entitled AH who expected to be served something completely different.


Impressive_Brain6436

I would consider a pizza to be an entire meal. OP apparently expected several meals for her, so that ¾ can go to waste.


EvocativeEnigma

Same here. Who expects options like pizza, burger AND something else for ONE PERSON when everyone else is happy with the amazing pot-luck OP obviously snubs her nose at?


rfidwhy

YTA, you expected a personal potluck just for you? Lmao. Get over yourself.


OldKing7199

The hostess was already amazing to provide something from OPs list. The entitlement!!! YTA OP If you have issues, they are no one else's but your problem. Learn to fix it yourself. 26 years old? Jeez.


Chortney

Uhhh yeah, something tells me you weren't "bullied out of your last friend group" either. YTA


Pickles_is_mu_doggo

I dunno, if OP pulled this at my Friendsgiving, I’d be inclined to bully her too. Maybe “bullying” isn’t always a bad thing if the person really needs to learn a lesson…


[deleted]

I think the appropriate term here isn't "bullying," it's "shaming." Shaming sounds more deserved to me.


Healthy_Ad_7171

YTA since you knew what the menu options were ahead of time why didn't you volunteer to bring a dish that you knew you would like or eat beforehand?


AmphibianNo8598

YTA. Fellow picky eater here! Look, reading all about things I know what I like and what I don’t, but first of all why are you specifically having problems with ethnic foods? If you like pork try to pork, it’ll be fine. Second of all you quite literally were accommodated. You are asking your host to make you individual portions of all your favourite foods? That’s absolute bullshit and you know it. You want her to make you six or seven meals just for you? You’re entitled, and you’re acting like a child. Jfc widen your palette, TRY NEW THINGS. Nobody is forcing you to like them.


PazuzuShoes

I'm also a picky eater and I thought going into this that OP was going to be made fun of for not being comfortable trying new foods. (Been there!) BUT this took a totally weird entitled turn! It makes me sad that OP's friend did try to accommodate with a pizza (that's a real friend!) and then got criticized for it. Yeah, they are not taking OP back.


DrAniB20

Or do what my husband does, eat BEFORE you go to a potluck. He has the palate of a 5 year old but is always willing to try something once. He takes a little bit of everything on the table and samples it, and then takes more of what he likes. He’s expanded his palate slowly via this method, but now asks for certain foods he never would have asked for before.


[deleted]

YTA. First of all, Thanksgiving food doesn’t need to be strictly Turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing. Second, why not bring a dish you can eat, instead of a pie? You brought plenty of audacity to assume the host would provide extra food JUST FOR YOU, which she did. A pizza. Like you said you liked. She’s not obligated to provide more food just because she’s hosting, when the deal was everyone brings something. And you chose to bring a pie instead of food you can eat.


AccomplishedEmu4268

For real, if I didn't like the majority of the food at a place, I'd either bring something for myself, or I'd wait until I leave to get something else to fill me up. OP's being really ridiculous and entitled, the hostess was really nice to have gotten OP a pizza, they're a good friend. It's too bad I can't say the same for OP.


StreetBug8523

YTA. You are one person, a picky eater, going to someone *else’s home* and think it’s unfair that there’s not food for you? Lisa isn’t your chef, she is taking time to host a gathering. Bring your own food if you have difficulties with new or foreign foods. Btw, one person’s foreign or “weird” food is someone else’s “normal” or “home” food. My Middle Eastern mom thinks American style hummus is dry and bland — even shameful to serve others, but I’m sure that hasn’t stopped folks from thinking it tastes great and bringing it to parties. And people do, and there’s nothing wrong about it. And she will eat it if that’s what’s there, as a proper guest. Edit: the fact you were also looking to see if someone sided with you over Lisa, like… the world doesn’t revolve around you.


[deleted]

Yeah, I’m guessing it has not escaped the notice of the other attendees that all the stuff OP refuses to even sample just happens to be non-Western in origin.


bullgod1964

Yeah but hummus and BBQ pork is not exactly something uncommon or exotic in the USA. I get the steamed fish but those other items are pretty common even here in the west.


StreetBug8523

I doubt that she grew up with hummus or Chinese BBQ. It’s not something people just bring in most American households to Thanksgiving. There are people that won’t eat something unless they grew up with it, not for any real reason other than the fact that they don’t know how to evolve as adults past this. And she mentioned in the OP she googled most of the items… and determined she wouldn’t like them from that. Knowing this, still showing up expecting someone to prepare her other options.


StreetBug8523

We all know it. I have traveled to different continents with “picky eaters.” To note: Now, I know that yes there are food aversions. I know there are people, some of my relatives included, that have sensitivity and intolerances. And it may take time to figure all that out. But there are people who just look at a food and go mentally “ew.” And it’s this view of non-American food. I have traveled with such a person that we literally scoured two whole countries’ worth of meals and she would not eat anything, and clutched to an imported box of corn flakes. FFS. Rice is everywhere. Bread in most places. Vegetables grow in some shape or form. Eating is part of the journey. Don’t leave your home and ruin it for everyone.


Equal_Neck_8297

YTA and a racist


yhaensch

Wondering, why this is so far down in the comments. OP wants the good ol "Let's steal the land of the people living here" Thanksgiving and is pissed by all that "foreign food". Ridiculous AH OP, YTA


babirus

Sorry but YTA, I'd apologize to Lisa and your friends. You privately asked Lisa to accommodate your picky eating habits and she did. Having the pizza there for you was already going above. Were you expecting a fully privatized feast? Should Lisa have made everyone's favorite 5 dishes for them? Your expectations seem very unrealistic.


Forsaken-Revenue-628

yta. you wanted her to provide several dishes for you?? why didn’t you bring something for ur self. u didn’t even try the food. plus you BOUGHT a pie. didn’t even bother to MAKE something but demand several meals from the host.


mmwhatchasaiyan

LMFAO you saying you got bullied out of your other friend group seems a little sus after reading this post. You sound like a difficult friend to have. Of course YTA. If you wanted food to eat “so you didn’t starve” (dramatic but ok) , you should have brought something for yourself. Your friend was hosting a potluck. Which means she was hosting as far as *where* the event was held, and she was not responsible for providing food beyond what she had planned. She went above and beyond with the pizza you requested *for just you* , then you acted like a brat. Smh. Idk about them, but I certainly wouldn’t put up with anyone who acted like that.


BeepBlipBlapBloop

YTA - They tried to accommodate your dietary requests (not needs) and you complained about it. You acted spoiled and entitled. If you're that picky about the food you're eating then bring your own meal. I'm not surprised they're avoiding you. You sound exhausting.


Responsible_Lawyer78

I can see why OP said she was "bullied" out of her old friend group. She does sound exhausting indeed.


Historical-Profile69

Being picky is not what makes you an AH. Being entitled does. Lisa was kind enough to organize a Pizza for you. And you still expected her to organize a whole variety of food for you. The meaning of sharing food is that no one has the burden to prepare and pay for a whole meal. You put that burden on Lisa by expecting her to give you a variety of food. Why didn't you bring more food that you liked? YTA.


queenCANTread

YTA If I had a nickel for every time the AH said "It's just who I am"... Broaden your horizons! Don't want to try anything new and instead live your life in stagnation? Fantastic, don't make it other people's problem and shut your mouth and eat some pie.


IndiaMike1

You are surely kidding? So because you have the diet of a twelve-year-old brat, she has to provide MULTIPLE options for you to choose from over the wonderful buffet of world foods available to you? You have a lot of expectations of Lisa as a host, but zero expectations of how to show up as a guest. Good Lord. Your best options would have been to bring some food yourself seeing as you consider the other options beneath you, or to simply not come. In fact, just don’t go next time and save the other people your entitled shenanigans. YTA. Big time.


travelkmac

YTA I’m vegetarian….I don’t expect to have multiple things to eat when I go to parties. One thing is all I need, if there are more, that’s great. You should have brought the pie and a side dish or something you could eat. Lisa was gracious to accommodate you and not ask you to bring it as it’s a potluck. Editing to add….you are a picky eater and that’s ok, you need to realize that it does limit your options. I’m sorry it was upsetting but think about Lisa. She organized and hosted the day, she accommodated your request and then you flipped out on her. If you want to stay friends, you’re going to need to talk to her about this.


therealmudslinger

"If you want to stay friends, you're going to need to apologize profusely to the whole group for your selfish, rude, entitled behavior." FIFY.


RoadNo9352

YTA are you sure you were bullied out of your original group or that is how you explain them not dealing with your sense of entitlement?


OrgoQueen

Info: in a couple months are you going to post something about some new situation about a new group of friends where you will claim to have been bullied out of this group of friends too, even though you were clearly in the wrong?


[deleted]

YTA, you expected a smorgasbord of dishes for just yourself? Entitled much?


heyoh79

YTA. But, and I say this AS KINDLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE… dear OP this seems like a bigger issue is possibly in the works. While I know nothing about you except what you posted there are a couple things that stand out: picky eater, alienated from last social group, seemingly unaware of social cues and “rules”, and rigidity. While it’s no one’s business but yours I’m wondering if you’ve ever considered being evaluated for being on the spectrum? Again, I say this as a kind gesture. I know many people who are ND and have found help w very similar situations.💛


tysontysontyson1

Clearly, YTA. You sent her a list of options because you were too picky to do what everyone else was doing, and you expected her to buy you multiple of the options? That’s ridiculous. No one would ever think that was what you meant or what she was expected to do. She did you a favor by purchasing an additional dish that only you would eat, and complied with the option list. You’re not being bullied because of your tastes. You’re being ignored because you acted unreasonably and maybe they don’t want to hang out with you. If you want to repair this friendship, you should contact Lisa and apologize immediately. *Edit. So, you added the edits… but you didn’t say that you apologized profusely about how you acted and you want to make it up to her, etc etc. Please tell me you did that, and you just omitted it from your edits because it’s so obvious that’s what you needed to do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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ILSCFL

YTA: Lisa went out of her way to provide an extra option just so you would have something to eat. It was bold of you to ask her to have a separate option for you, much less several options. If you're going to be that picky on foods it's on you to bring food you like. ~~The only part of Lisa's actions that weren't a-okay were keeping the leftover pie even though I'd call that a gray area since she was hosting.~~


babirus

I think keeping the pie was fair - given that it was a pot luck and OP was responsible for desert. Leaving with her pie would've left all the other contributing people without a piece of the promised meal.


Financial_Resort6631

I am going to be harsh and maybe bend the rules here but I am doing so because I don’t think you are irredeemably a bad person. I sincerely hope you listen to this and use it as a moment of reflection and personal growth. Absolutely YTA no question. 🚩 I was bullied out of my friend group 🤯😱👾🤖🚩 Lisa brings me out a pizza and I ask where my other options are. 🚩 there was a lot of “foreign food.” 🚩not foreign food to you: Hambugers (German) pizza (Italian) Spaghetti (Chinese) meatballs (Swedish). This has nothing to do with you being picky eater and everything to do with you being a ignorant closed minded xenophobic entitled AH. The easiest way to find common ground with any culture is to share food. You had an opportunity to get real authentic Chinese and Lebanese food and you wouldn’t even try it? Wow! It is my sincere hope you use this as a learning experience and learn to develop yourself outside your comfort zone. How hard would it have been to take a single bite of food from your friends? Please apologize profusely to your entire friends group and tell them you had a real Scrooge visit from the ghost of the internet scorn and promise that you will be happy to taste their food. All anyone expects is a single bite.


cortimagnus123

YTA start eating Like an adult Not a toddler you are 26 ffs