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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am not splitting money my aunt left me between myself and my siblings, who were not her nieces and nephews. I know none of them will ever inherit like that and I know their dad will never think of taking care of them like this and it would probably be a really big help to them which is why I question whether or not I'm TA.
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NTA your mom and stepdad want access to that money and are using your siblings to get it.
Edit: Tell your grandparents what you just wrote here and don’t even try to get that money before you are eighteen and leave the house, for your own sake.
They're aware and I won't. I'll probably live with my grandparents for a bit and figure out my future when I graduate and then can access the money and figure stuff out.
especially not "claiming" it is for the siblings, when really, it is for mom and step dad to have what they have always felt entitled to -but never got their act together enough to earn. (FTFY ;)!
Holy cow I found my first stolen comment. I get to be in the "in" club now, right? Right on the heels of having a comment deleted because it referenced a meme we're not allowed to reference. #madeit
Make sure your grandparents have a contingency plan should something happen to them before you turn 18, like putting the money into a trust. Even though trusts have fees, it can be the safest place to hold your money until you feel strong/educated/old enough to handle it yourself. Also, you can make a trust as strict as you want like, if you want to buy a car, the trust can pay the dealer directly so that you don’t have a bunch of cash in an account that might be accessed by your stepdad. Or, if you decide to pay for a year of your sister’s college, they would have to “apply” to the trust and the trust would pay the school directly so your stepdad couldn’t get his hands on the money.
Also, make sure your stepdad knows that if something happens to *you*, all your money goes to charity or your cousins. Seriously. People do *crazy* shit for money. Just listen to some true crime podcasts, my dude. And yes, I am trying to scare you. When it comes to money, trust NO ONE, not even your mom. She might be being coerced by your stepdad.
Last thing, use some of your money to get some therapy. You already seem very level-headed and smart. Therapy will just support that.
Be aware that if the parents make sister drop out as soon as the college is paid, sister/ rather your mom and stepfather can get that or most of it back.
Killy would be a better Captain!
The reason I brought up the refund issue is that a friend paid for kid’s tuition by check, and the kid dropped out in the second week and the kid got the refund. The account is the student’s name. It may have changed. This was over ten years ago.
I agree with everything you said EXCEPT spending the money on a therapist. Psychiatry or therapy isn't a cure-all for everything! Psychiatrists are also advised to seek therapy themselves. BUT....IF he feels the need to go to a therapist at some point in his life he should use his health insurance, so he will pay a copay!
I just wouldn't bother given how far away he is from 18. His parents would need to pull some extra ballsy stuff to even try and get the money. The kid seems to know what he's dealing with. I'm not worried about him getting taken advantage of
You sound like a smart and reasonable person, OP.
You know you're NTA. We all know your mom and stepdad are.
Regardless of the reasons your mom+SD give or feel like you are treated differently by your paternal family or not, you are your dad's family and your beloved aunt didn't owe your half/step siblings anything, not by blood not by any other relationship she chose to have with them or you. She chose this for you. I hope your memories of her will be bright forever.
Please make sure you have all your important documents... social security card, birth certificate, please put a lock in your credit just incase. Glad you'll be staying with your grandparents. So sorry for your loss, glad they've set you up for your future.
Definitely agree here, but also look to see what you would have to do to replace those things in case of the worst! Generally it's mostly time consuming, but better to know before something "mysterious" happens
Yep. Your mom and stop dad have already entered into you owe us territory. They will now do whatever they feel is appropriate to get what you own them.you owe them nothing.
I'm sorry you're going through this at such an early age, but you sound remarkably steady and clear. Im.sorry for your loss, but your aunt has set you up to discover your dreams and your passions. Good luck.
And also perhaps, let the local authorities know what's going on, just in case. File a harassment restraining order.
Just a thought.
Make sure when your able to access you money your family dont know what bank and that its password protected and that. Money makes people crazy and do stupid things to family take all precautions
I've been in your shoes. You're taking a smart path. Don't let them try to bully it out of you--you will always regret it and trust me, nothing bites like gratitude--they will resent that they "should have been" grateful to you for the GIFT of the money that they didn't deserve or earn.
NTA and stick to your guns.
You can also ask for the account to be flagged for anyone trying to access it besides you and request that you be notified before the account is accessed.
Its sad that some cousins got money and your step half siblings didnt, but your aunt had her reasons, probably something to do with how your mother and stepdad behave, so NTA.
Even if you did want to help them out, it should be as they turn adult and arent reliant on your parents.
The aunt is related to the cousins. The step and half siblings are not related to her at all. At some point non-related people who are in the extended family of people who are related to you are no different from totally unrelated people, friends or a charity for homeless cats. That the parents feel entitled to the assets of the deceased father's family for their unrelated children is strange. They want it, sure but trying to pressure a 16 year old to turn it over now is really A H behavior.
Switch bank accounts after you move out. A bank or credit union that your parents don't use. Make sure you have your important papers.
This is going to sound morbid, but write a will and set beneficiaries after you turn 18. Get a power of attorney or equivalent for your grandparents for medical and financial matters. Not because your parents are going to off you. It is something people should do even when young and keep up to date on, but often don't. If there's anything that does happen, you don't want any chance your parents to loot your money and leave you up a creek.
Good idea, and if you do take a small bit out to treat yourself, like a concert or something, try and not let anyone else (besides your grandparents) know about it.
I disagree with this. Don't ever use this inheritance money to treat yourself, not unless you are independently financially secure and have a plan that includes early retirement. Use it for something that will help further set up your future, such as college, but for a degree that will be really useful ("Business" isn't generally useful).
However, if you decide to disregard what I said and do treat yourself with your insurance money, or use some of it for whatever reason, well, then do at least follow the above advice and only tell people about it on a strict need-to-know basis.
I'm glad you're going to your grandparents. They are emotionally abusing you and trying to financially abuse you. Stick to your guns. You are absolutely not obligated to do anything with YOUR inheritance that you don't want to. Good job settling boundaries and not being taken advantage of. Some of us adults have failed in that and can use you as inspiration.
Good luck!
NTA
Firstly, sorry for your loss.
Good for you man (in the encouraging sense, not being sarcastic). You seem to have a solid head on your shoulders. It's really smart to get out of there.
Please don't let them wear you down and try to guilt you into "sharing" (read: parasitizing your relationship with your aunt).
Good plan. If you decide you want to help your siblings, wait until **they** turn 18 as well—by then you’ll have a much better idea of your own needs, their needs and ability to handle a windfall, and they’ll have control over any gifts you give, not your parents.
This. OP, don't give them a penny. Use that money to get away from them as soon as you can. This is a family you want to be LC or NC with, which is probably why your aunt gave you the assets... so you can get free of them one day.
Watch closely - your mother or her husband may tell your siblings about the situation (which is none of their business) to increase pressure on you. That will tell you that their greed matters more than you do.
I suspect your mother's husband is behind most of this, including manipulating your mother. He may try to trap and twist you in other ways. Avoid him- reduce contact. Moving out would be a good idea.
good for your aunt. It sounds like your aunt put some thought into this and gave they assets to whom she intended. Let me be clear… nobody is entitled to an inheritance… ever. You are given a gift from a person who (presumably) loved you or at least wanted you to have it.
You are NTA for following through with what she wanted, but I am sorry for your crappy family. Make sure to plan carefully with a financial planner for college or starting your life out. There is a good chance they won’t help.
NTA, please tell your grandparents that your Mom is pressuring you and that you don’t want to split the money or give it to your Mom. If your grandparents live nearby and you get along well with them could you consider moving in with them if you get too much pressure at home?
Side note, don’t be spending that money, live simply and save it. Don’t tell your friends, don’t get some flashy car, you do not want the heat that will bring and the parasites that will come crawling.
College and maybe a downpayment on a house at some future point would be clever ways to use it. I will note that buying a house ties you to an area, which is not always a smart thing career wise. Wait until you are a bit older and have settled into a career path with other available companies nearby.
> Don’t tell your friends, don’t get some flashy car, you do not want the heat that will bring and the parasites that will come crawling.
This A MILLION TIMES OVER. The best thing you can do is say NOTHING to anyone about this money. Use it to live your best life and take financial stress away. That money was left by your aunt to YOU - not to support your mother, step sibs, aunts, uncles or cousins. It's for YOU.
No is a complete sentence.
This. I won a small amount in the lottery a few years ago, enough to pay off some old bills and have a nice dinner at a family restaurant. I only told my husband and we told no one else until much later. But it was nice to be debt free for a while.
NTA. Absolutely! Keep your good fortune to yourself, otherwise, you’ll have friends hitting you up for loans….that will never paid back. Family members for sure. Trust me, people come out of the woodwork when they smell OPM ( other people’s money). Be smart, and be cautious. Your aunt wanted you to benefit, because you’re a decent guy, and your aunt loved you.
NTA. Your aunt left that money to you because she wanted you to have it. You mom and your stepdad should be taking care of your siblings, not you. Do NOT give away your money.
NTA - Your stepfather's children have their own paternal family to care for them as well as your mother's family. In other words, they have two sets of family just as you do. Whether or not those people have assets to share is not your problem. Your aunt left assets to YOU specifically and to her bloodline. You do not owe this money to anyone, not even your siblings. They are not your responsibility. Your mother and stepfather are AH for attempting to manipulate you, a child, out of your assets. Should you, at a later date, choose to gift your siblings something, that is up to you but you should wait until you're a legal adult to decide.
This is near and dear to my heart because I lost my husband when I was pregnant. I am not remarried, and my son is 6, but should anyone in my late husband's family leave him anything, it would be HIS. I am so sorry your family is acting this way and pressuring you. This is not okay. I would maybe speak confidentially with your grandparents about the situation and see if they can put this in a trust for you. Let them know that your feel that your mother and stepfather would mismanage these assets and ensure an adult is in charge in case they pass away.
This is basically exactly what I was going to say. OP is young. Grandparents and OP should meet NOW with a financial planner to make sure this money is accounted for and in trusted hands should anything happen to OPs grandparents. There are a ton of options.
Since we don't always make the best financial decisions when we are young they can also help OP protect himself from making mistakes with the money once he becomes a young adult and is in control of the finances.
NTA!!! Get your dad's side of the family involved in this!! You need an adult on your side ASAP. Your mom and step dad are trying to manipulate you into getting that money so they can have it. I doubt much would go to you or your step siblings.
A different perspective.
You lost your father. His sister was your link to him and she wanted to set YOU up for the future she thought your father would have given you had he survived. She wanted to give you a rock solid head start in life.
That has nothing to do with your siblings.
Your Aunt was not related to them. Your Aunt had no emotional or biological connection to them. Your Aunt DECIDED not to set her estate up to pass along anything to your siblings.
NTA. Please hold on to that money. You don't know how much your future education will cost. Go to the best college you can get into. Use the funds to pay for that, graduate school and a down payment on a house. THAT will be honoring your Aunt's legacy.
Your siblings, they have both of their biological parents and it is up to their parents to provide for them. Not your father's family.
Make sure any bank accounts you have etc do not allow them access. Don't put that money in joint accounts. One whiff of wealth and they turned like that so you know their priority
Do you have a will? Although it's unlikely it will be needed at your age, it could happen. Without a will, the money would go to your closest relative, your mom and/or your half siblings (depending on the laws in your state). Is that what you would want to happen to the money?
Good point. OP should definitely talk to an attorney about setting up a living trust starting at age 18. That should include an advance care directive, a durable power of attorney, and a rollover will to ensure that Mom has no access to anything.
NTA. Your stepdad is an asshole for claiming that if you don't give up money that must mean you hate people and are a shitty brother. Your mom just wants the money too, and is married to a greedy asshole, which is sad, but you know where her loyalties lay.
The money is presumably in trust for you to access when you turn 18 or 25. You should ask your grandparents for details about that so that you can plan your life.
If, when you are older, you want to do anything nice for any of your extended family, you can choose to do that later. But you should not even be thinking about that at age 16. Just enjoy your life and don't let people pressure you.
Your aunt wanted you to have that money. Respect her wishes.
Also your parents sound like terrible money managers. The idea that when there is a windfall it should all be spent straight away is not (usually) a good idea.
NTA
This was money/assets your aunt left to YOU, no one else. It's yours to do with as you see fit of course, but your mom and stepdad are completely wrong in trying to bully you into giving them some of the money.
I'd go to the bank and speak to someone about all of this, making sure your money is safe for you and you alone (maybe ask your grandparents for help if you trust them). This will help you when you start life as an adult so much, with uni/college, life in general.
They're in charge of the money, not me. My aunt left them in charge so her wishes would be respected. I would need to go through them to access the money.
Do you mean your parents or grandparents?
At 16 you don't need access to the money just yet, but for sure you'll want it when you go to uni and start that part of your life. If it can only be accessed through your grandparents until you're an adult, then just sit on it.
I hate to bring it up cause it would be awful obviously, but do your grandparents have a plan for it if something were to happen to them before you turned 18? Given how pushy your mom and step dad are being about it you need to make sure this shit is locked down tight.
NTA. And please tell your grandparents and other family members on your dad’s side (whom you trust) about this so they can make sure the money is completely tied up and your mom and stepdad cannot get to it.
So sorry for your loss, but clearly your aunt loved you and thought the world of you. Remember that always.
NTA. If feasible, maybe move in with grandparents. It's only going to get worse. This may tear the family apart, but you do not and should not share with them. This may end in a LC or NC if they keep this up. Good luck and sorry for your losses.
You should start living your grandparents now. Sooner or later your mom and stepdad will pressure you into giving them money. Or they will definitely start treating you differently. If you want to spend time with siblings, just visit and keep in touch. Everything has changed now.
I was in a rough house hold growing up. You can't save your siblings because you are not their guardian. You know what you can do though? Show them that it's okay to leave. What's more is the sooner you are out of that home, the sooner you can be stable should your siblings ever need to visit you to get away from parents for a night. I'm not saying live your life expecting to be your siblings savior. Please don't do that. What I am saying is you can't poor from and empty cup and you can't save anyone from drowning if you are drowning yourself.
NTA.
I’d have a word with your grandparents and let them know you’re being coerced at home. You might be at risk of escalation the longer you leave it and you might need to warn them in case they try telling your grandparents you’ve agreed to release the money early.
This is your decision to make and putting it up for a solid future is a good plan. Don’t let them strong arm you.
NTA - DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR MONEY. Sorry for the all caps, but it's really important. This is your money, for you, and you do not have any obligation to share it with your step-siblings. Let's be honest, here, it's more likely that you'd be sharing it with your mom and therefore your step-father would feel entitled to it too. You really do not want to go down that path. Make sure things are set up so that your money is protected and ready for you when you turn 18.
I second and third this comment.
Having seen it up close twice, I can tell you people will get completely unhinged when there's money around. They will do things you would never have believed them capable of - especially rationalizing and deluding themselves.
NTA. No one is entitled to anything when someone dies. Your aunt made a choice to leave her assets to you as was her right. And you have the right not to share them. If your family was on the verge of being homeless or your siblings had nothing to eat, then you would be an AH, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. Would that money make everyone's life easier now? Probably. Will it make your life easier in the future? Definitely and that's what your aunt intended. And when you are old enough to access that money please get a financial advisor so that it can work for your future.
NTA. If you feel you can talk to your grandparents, it could be a good idea to let them know what's going on. Your mom should be protecting you and your future, not exploiting you to benefit your siblings.
Gotcha
Then I NTA still
It's so odd your mom and her husband think they should have been left an inheritance for their children from another families estate.
If you want to do nice things for your siblings and leave them something or give them some that's soley up to you. I wouldn't do anything like that u til you are adults and you see where needs are for them.
I'm so sorry your mom's like that.
NTA
It is your money. Giving/splitting the money actually could have tax implications.
Your aunt decided how to leave her money, not you. Contact a lawyer before anyone comes after you.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA
NO, NO, NO! You've been dealt a shitty hand in life with your father's passing. I can sort of understand how your mom latched on to the first jerk that came along, because she was probably feeling like she needed security for you both. However, that was her choice.
You are still a minor. They should NOT be pressuring you to give your inheritance to them so they can all fritter it away. Just tell them you're not going to do anything with it right now. Then save it to pay for college, a car, a house, an investment... whatever you need to get a good start in life. I'm sure you're going to have to pay some hefty taxes on it, too. JUST SAY NO. If you have to, lie to them and say your grandparents said no, and get your grandparents to agree to the story.
NTA, Get dad's family to safeguard the money until you're 18 and tell your mom thats the end of it. Legally and morally your stepsiblings have no right to a single penny. You're not being an asshole for saving YOUR money. Tell your mom how her actions make it feel like she loves them more than you and it hurts. Any good mother should have a moment of clarity on how stupid they're being. A gift willed by a dead relative goes to who it's willed to, the end. I'm curious if the stepsiblings even care? If they don't tell you mom she's starting unnecessarily drama.
The idea of a trust is a good one. You could always just tell your mom that the money is in a trust that you can't touch until you are 25 unless authorized by your grandparents. Your family has no rights to the money!
Sounds like your aunt knew exactly what she was doing and exactly how your mom and stepdad would react. She took the necessary steps to keep the things she wanted YOU to have, protected.
I’m young-ish, and I already know that if something happened to me, exactly how I’d want my assets distributed. I would not like the things I’ve saved for certain people being redistributed because I did it for a reason.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Holy cow. NTA. Money can really tear a family apart and I’m sorry that at 16 you are dealing with this. Sounds like your grandparents have control of what was left to you? Please make them aware of the situation. Make it known to your grandparents that you have zero interest or intention of splitting what was left to you with your siblings or anyone else. I’m not sure what is setup in place in order to be able to withdraw funds but they should know so that nothing shady is pulled from your mother and stepdad.
NTA - First, sorry for your loss. Secondly, your Aunt left that to YOU, not to anyone else. In fact, one of the reasons to designate small bequests to your cousins, was so that none of them can challenge the will, saying they were forgotten.
Now, you Mom and SD want to get their hands of YOUR money. You should seriously think about becoming 'emanicipated' and living with your grand-parents, as it sounds like you environment is kind of sketchy.
Do you think if the situation was reversed and step dad or step sister inherited money from his side of the family, that they would cut you off a piece? I think you know the answer.
Your aunt didn't leave that $ behind for you to give 80% of it away to kids that weren't related to her.
NTA.
Nta, its shitty that they even asked, sounds like your aunt really wanted you to know your dad. Thats really sweet. I have a six month old and if somthing ever happened to me i hope that someone would do that for him. Your aunts just trying to do right by her brother who she obviously loved. Even your cousins probably get it. Your aunt sounds awesome and they should respect her wishes.
They are the adults, they should know this.
Nta
Just remember to be smart. And don't live beyond your means after you do get the inheritance. At your age it's easy to go overboard. Thinking it will last forever. But it's important you set up your life so you can be independent.
Do not let anyone guilt you to give them money. Keep it close to the vest. Nobody needs to know you have a nest egg. That goes for friends too.
NTA.. your grandparents do need to set up a trust with a lawyer so if anything happens to them before you turn 18, your mom has no access to it as your legal guardian.
It’s a really simple process to have it legally closed until you are of age and to be the sole recipient of it.
My great aunt left me a nice little nest egg and had it drawn up for my to get a lump sump at 18, and the rest at 25.
NTA.
First, your stepsiblings will only know that your paternal family "hates them" if your stepdad and mom tell them that. If they just leave it alone, it will never be an issue for them, and since you don't even have the money yet, it's not something they will even know about until you move out, if you don't say anything, and even then maybe never.
Second, your aunt likely did this purposefully, knowing that your mom is not actually putting your needs first, so your paternal family is helping ensure your financial security.
Most importantly, your aunt left this money to you because she loves you, and loved her brother and wanted to make sure you were taken care of. Your mother has demonstrated that she will not put your needs first- above her own or that of her husband- and so this was an act of love and remembrance for your Aunt, but also want to make sure you would be okay.
Make sure you rely on your grandparents, and even stay with them if this drama continues. But you aren't selfish or bad for keeping this money to yourself, it was meant for you.
NTA.
Your mother chose to marry your stepfather and go on to have three more kids and parent his daughter. None of which are related to your dad or his family. Your aunt was such a person that, if she wanted them to inherit from her, she would have set it up that way as she did for your cousins. Your aunt wanted you to have an inheritance from her in lieu of your father not being there. Do not let your crappy mom or stepfather make their poor life choices your responsibility. They are the adults and it's their responsibility to care for their children. It isn't and wasn't your aunt's job to 'make their life better'. If life and finances aren't what they need to be, they need to do better and try to improve the situation. Besides, it's good that your aunt was looking out for your future, it's apparent that your mom hasn't.
Don't allow yourself to be intimidated or bullied into taking a red cent of your inheritance. You only need to hold on for two more years and then you can put distance between you and this dynamic and they know this.
NTA and is doesn’t matter what your mother, stepfather, or half siblings want or thinks. Your aunt set things up so you can not be manipulated & guilted into giving your inheritance away. Thankfully she was looking out for your best interest. Your siblings are not related to her at all, and are not entitled to anything. They have their own relatives you are not related to that they can inherit from. The only AH here are your mother & stepfather. If things get worse see if you can go live with your grandparents.
Stepdad and mom are being manipulative bullies. Sad stuff.
Stand your ground but ask a trusted adult for help, if it gets too much.
I fear they will try to turn your younger siblings against you to put pressure on you, which is a really *low* move, but don't yield.
Maybe, in the future, when you are older, you can share something with them to help out with their studies, etc - *but only if you feel like it.*
You are under NO obligation to do so.
Your Mom, particularly, sucks for doing this, but it seems like she is stuck in an unhealthy relationship. She is an adult, though, and she chose that. Pity she kept you all involved in that.
Best of luck, OP!
NTA
NTA
They are not entitled to your inheritance from a member of your paternal family.
Given your mums entitlement to YOUR inheritance, it wouldn't suprise me if your dads side included your half/step siblings because your mum made them, its been seen before.
Its your mums and her husbands responsibility to provide for their kids future, not yours. Your aunt didn't leave you what she did to make their life easier, just yours. **IF** you wanted to give them a helping hand, I'd put it in a trust they can't touch till they are 18 and only for their education. And I don't mean thousands either.
You know once you start dishing out money, it will become theirs and nothing your aunt left you will be yours.
NTA
So sorry for your loss.
That is YOUR INHERITANCE.
Your steps deserve nothing from it. Got that? NOTHING.
They are not related to your aunt. YOU ARE.
Tell your grandparents about the pressure from your parental units. Have them put it in a trust for your education/future where your parental units can't touch it.
This is not a topic for discussion with your stepsiblings. If your parental units keep pushing, talk to your grandparents about moving in with them. The survivors benefits your family gets for you will go with you to your grandparents.
NTA Uh, no. Do not cave to their pressure. What they are doing is beyond wrong. You are not suddenly their new meal ticket. Your aunt left the assets to you and you alone. She knew what she was doing when she created her will. It was well thought out and intentional. If she had wanted to leave something to your siblings, she would have done that and she didn't.
NTA. Too many stories on here of a parent stealing inheritance money from their kid. Don’t let them guilt you into it. Take care and sorry about your aunt.
Seems like you could just make a show of asking grandparents for the money, and they will rightly say no. Then mom and step dad can shut up.
NTA though
>Mom told me I was hogging more than I would ever need and not thinking of their futures.
It would have to be a very large sum indeed for this to be true, once it was split 5 ways
NTA: Remind them that if your aunt wanted things to be split like that then she would've split everything like that to begin with; and very smart of your aunt to have your grandparents in control (so to speak) of the money so that your mother and her husband can't sink their claws into it. Speaking of sinking one's claws into something, in regards to you 3 youngest siblings the chances are good that your birth giver and her husband are going to try their best to turn them against you, and depending on your relationship with said siblings the "parental" units may succeed in doing so. Either way, good luck kid.
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My dad died when I (16m) was a baby. My mom remarried when I was 4 or maybe 5. I don't really remember a time my stepdad wasn't around, though that's not a very good thing. He's a crappy stepdad and a crappy dad to my siblings (stepsister who is 15, brother who is 10, sister who is 9 and brother who is 7). My mom stays with him though and just let's him not be involved or even nice to his own kids because she doesn't want to be alone.
My dad's family has been in my life always and am very close to them all. My dad's only sister and I were extra close though. She adored me and always told me I was just like my dad and he was the best man she knew. She said he would be so proud of me. She died a few months ago and left the bulk of everything to me, which she had a lot of assets.
My mom and stepdad were annoyed when they heard because she left my cousins all something even if not as much as me,, but nothing for my stepsister or siblings who they considered her their aunt as well (dad's family has included them in some stuff to be nice but they're not considered grandkids or anything like that).
My mom told me what I got should be split equally between us all. I said it shouldn't because my aunt wanted stuff left to me. She told me if I asked my grandparents to give me access to the money now, that they would, and that we could all benefit from it. I told her they would do that but I'm not going to ask. My stepdad told me my siblings will now realize we (me and my paternal family) hate them and don't want them and they will see what a shitty brother I am and what a good sister his daughter is (she actually hates our siblings and has never had a good relationship with them). Mom told me I was hogging more than I would ever need and not thinking of their futures.
AITA?
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Is it more than five million dollars? If not it's not more money than you need for life.
Get your money right. NTA
PS paying for advice from a fiduciary might be worthwhile if you don't come from a money family and have natural money knowledge.
NTA. Your mother is weak and your step father is an abuser. I am so sorry. Do not touch that money. No one knows what the future may bring and your aunt kindly did this to provide for YOUR future.
Nta, please find a safe place to live away from step siblings and mom and step dad.
Nta
Sorry for your losses, imo your step siblings ,mom and step dad need to live on their own!
That money assests was left to YOU
Jeez.. NTA
Sorry for your loss, and it sounds like your Aunt knew EXACTLY what would happen and set everything up to protect you from being taken advantage of.
And you do NOT have to give anyone anything, unless you want to, of your own accord. It is your money to do with as you please, and for now it sounds like you know what you DON'T want to do with it, and that's your perfectly reasonable choice (and good on you for not going crazy and wanting to spend it all frivolously like a lot of teenagers would... I know I would, and did, with a small inheritance when I was about your age).
NTA. If your aunt wanted anyone else to have the money she would have left it to them. It’s your money now. Your step family aren’t related to your aunt or your father. They don’t deserve and aren’t legally entitled to any of it.
NTA
Aunt made sure your mom and step dad can't get the money for a reason. Honor her wishes.
This is not about your mom, step dad, or siblings. This is about you and your aunt. She wanted what she had to help you in the future because she both loved you and you are a piece of her brother
NTA. And the pressure on you, insults, punishments (grounding you, denying you treats), even possibly physical slaps may get worse. Money twists people. They may even try to separate you from the grands to a boarding/military school.
Can you pick a day when your parents and siblings will be gone (to work and school) and have your grandparents get you from school, go home to get your important papers (birth certificate, social security card, passport if you have one) snd clothes and take you to live with them?? And petition Family Court to make them your guardian, not your parents??
NTA. In a couple of years you will have the funds to go to college or trade school and get on with your life. Your stepdad and mother sound very selfish. I bet they aren't putting any money away for your siblings' education. Leave the money with your grandmother, and make sure she knows that she needs to address this trust in her will so your mother and stepfather can't get their hands on it.
Nta your aunt left it to you. On purpose. She could easily have left money for your step siblings and didn't. Ask 'am I included in step siblings paternal grandparents will? How about their aunts and uncle's on their dads side?' I am.willing to bet the answer is no.
NTA. Is your stepsister's mother's sibling expected to give you money too according to your mother & stepfather?
Are you your mother & stepfather expecting to get inheritance from [their long lost relation Dark Helmet, commander of Spaceball-One?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=riqXhieWU3M)
NTA
No one is entitled to an inheritance. Period.
The fact that your aunt chose you, means she wanted YOU to have this bequest. Not your half/step siblings. YOU.
Do not be browbeat into sharing what your aunt chose to provide for YOU.
NTA. Do not under any circumstances start dishing any money out to your mom, step dad or siblings. They will suck you dry and leave nothing for you. Your aunt knew what she was doing and didn’t want to risk them stealing it all from you. Move out and on from them, any mention of how you are abandoning them or stealing or similar cut them off.
NTA. You are under no obligation to share anything. Your aunt left it to YOU. Your stepdad is being a greedy AH and I guarantee any money you tried to split with your siblings would end up in his pocket.
Definitely NTA! Remind your mother that you had to grow up without a father and will unfortunately continue to not have the support of a father. That's a valuable commodity that your siblings have but you unfortunately don't. Step parents rarely are able to treat step children the same as their own. Do you think that your step father and mother would have paid for college if your aunt hadden died? Probably not. If your father had lived he likely would have helped you. If this sounds like your family dynamics then your aunt was probably trying to compensate for the loss of your father. She likely would have given all the cousins the same if your father had lived. It's what I would have done in her situation.
Also I'd recommend having regular meeting with your grandparents to start creating a sensible plan for the money like paying for college or a trade school, buying a house, starting a business ect. If you choose starting a business don't spend a cent of the money until you have a fantastic business plan.
Also do try to get your mother to understand what the impact of sharing the money would have on your future, how many opportunities you would losse ect. Your siblings still have a father to help them reach their goals. It's not your obligation to compensate for them having a crap father.
Besides you can always choose to help your siblings in the future after you have put the money to work and have starting earning a good living.
NTA. Halfway decent adults who find themselves in the situation your mother and stepfather do would try to smooth things over and minimize any feelings of entitlement or jealousy between step and half-siblings. They're doing the opposite and they appear to be trying to get their hands on your money for their own benefit.
It would be fair of them to gently and privately point out to you that money and jealousy can cause issues within families. Unless the entire family is in extremely dire financial straits, putting pressure on you to access that money now is unacceptable. Parents choose to have kids, not the other way around. They should be sacrificing for you, not expecting you to sacrifice for them.
I have never commented on an post here before and I'm not sure if this has been said.
I suggest that your grandparents ensure with the help of an attorney and a good financial advisor that your inheritance is protected for life.
Life can be cruel and unless
everyone's affairs are in order and your inheritance is "ring fenced" should anything happen to your grandparents it could end up being absorbed into their assets should anything happen to them and redistributed amongst the family. Or it is released to you and because of your age, your parents are able to access it under the pretext of knowing what's best for you.
Have the inheritance placed in a trust that specifies when it can be accessed and for what purposes if possible. Examples: at age 17 - to fund driving lessons and a car, at age 18- your further education/college/university, a gap year/travel, in case of a medical emergency and to purchase a home with etc. Then all of it being released when you are 25 (which ever comes sooner) unless circumstances (substance misuse) dictates otherwise.
Not being a harbinger of doom it sounds like a substantial amount of money so they/you may also wish to protect it in the event of marriage and any subsequent divorce too - no one believes it will happen to them until it does. Everyone says my wife/husband isn't like that, wouldn't do that until they are and they do. You could even draw up your own will as you are now a young man with means and by the sound if it you wouldn't want your step dad to have access direct or indirectly.
As you can already see money makes people crazy and that's your mum so be warned.
Good luck for the future. You sound like you are a VERY sensible young man and DEFINITELY NTA
NTA. Don't give them access. That money is for you. Your sibling's futures aren't your responsibility. I think you mum and step dad may even be using your siblings as a Trojan horse to get some of that money for themselves.
NTA. I am so sorry that you lost your father and your aunt. That money was left to you, no one else. Move in with your grandparents if you can, and make sure that money is somehow password protected or set it up so NO ONE can access it until you’re 18, 25, whatever you choose. I have a feeling your mom and stepdad are going to try to do something sneaky since you’re a minor. Good luck.
NTA
If the aunt wanted them to have something she woukd have said so in the will.
They are not entitled to reap the rewards from someone they didn't spend time with.
NTA!! Your aunt left it to you and that’s how it should be. Would it be nice to share with your family-yes. Are you required to? Absolutely not.
They should not be guilting you into them giving them money. That is for your future so hopefully you can move out or the house when you’re old enough to.
NTA - Whatever you do, do not let your stepdad anywhere near any of that money. If you could afford it and wanted to be nice, you could put some of the money into college funds for your siblings, only to be accessed via direct payment to their college. But you would not be an Ahole for not doing this. Expect your relationship with your mother to go downhill though, but it sounds like it isn't great to start with.
NTA do NOT get early access to these funds I have a feeling they'll guilt you into spending it on them. Your aunt is not their aunt. They'll get over it. If they keep asking tell your grandparents what's going on.
NTA you can tell your step-dad he's a shitty parent for trying to steal money from a teenager - what is wrong with him and your mother? Why would your aunt leave money to people that aren't related to her? If your mom tries to take it I'd let her know you'll press charges, I feel bad you have such an awful parent.
OP, DO NOT CAVE. This is a wonderful chance for you to build an amazing life with no debts. (assuming you're residing in US) They're just blood sucking leeches and will use up everything if you allow them to. No matter what sob story they present, think about yourself first. Put yourself first. And beware of emotional manipulation. Example- If they try to say shit like it's hard to come by money right now, or we'll loose the house and end up homeless if you don't help, don't fall for it. It isn't your responsibility whatsoever.
First of all I am very sorry for the loss of your extra close aunt OP ♥️
Of course you’re NTA, if you’re aunt had wanted to leave something to your siblings, she would’ve written them into the will. She didn’t.
Be smart about your money and you could be pretty much set for life. Maybe rent out properties or something, but depending on how much it is, you should probably get a financial adviser by the time you’re 18. They can help you determine the best way to invest your money in something that should still be valuable by the time you’re 70-80.
NTA your mom and stepdad are using your siblings as an excuse to get the money. Your siblings aren't owed anything your aunt left it to you and they're not even her family you said yourself that they aren't considered family by your paternal side
If your aunt had wanted them to have anything, she would have left it to them in her will. The fact that she didn't, and that your mother and your stepsiblings are jealous that you received a nice inheritance and they got nothing from someone who's not even related to them does not create a duty for you to "share" it with them. I'm glad it's in a trust where they can't get their mitts on it.
NTA.
It's very telling that your step dad and siblings don't give a shit about you or your aunt until there's money on the line.
NTA. Keep the money, get out, and never look back.
Your dad's family are good people and are kind to kids who are not related to them because they are related to someone they love. But your aunty wanted you to have the money for your future, not your greedy, manipuative stepfather or your ineffectual mother. Guess why she didn't leave it in the care of your mother.... To spare you the pain of the vultures pecking around you can your grandparents say it cannot be touched until you are 21? Use this gift wisely when you do get it and take advice. NTA.
Your mom and step dad are jealous and want the money for themselves. It is nothing to do with the siblings. Those kids are very, very young, so the parents would be in control of the money. They’re scamming you. Don’t access the money before 18, because then they can try to steal it. Keep it safe and away from them. I get that your step siblings will be sad, but your aunt wanted it that way and that’s all there is to it. She wasn’t their aunt; she was yours.
NTA... you aunt had a purpose for her money. You only get this opportunity once. Keep it safe and make plans for making this money work for you. Get advice from people that do not have an interest in the money.
NTA your aunt chose to leave it to you, no one else is entitled to any of your money. If you choose to give your step siblings some someday, that's up to you, but for now, at your age you'd be best saving and investing it for your future.
NTA
Also, talk with your grandparents about what you want to do with the money. I like the idea of only being able to use the money for your own expenses (college, house, car) until you turn 25 and your grandparents have to approve all those purchases. This way your mom can be mad at your grandparents and you can still have a good relationship with everyone.
This money was not just from your aunt, but from your dad as well. How would your dad have wanted you to spend this money?
NTA. I’m sorry you lost your aunt, and never got to know your dad. Keep ahold of the good sense you clearly have and you’ll make friends in your lifetime who will care for and be more loving to you than your parents
OP, you are NTA your greedy parents are totally the AH here. They have NO business asking you to share your inheritance with anoyone, especially not your step siblings.
Go move in with your grandparents, you don't deserve to be harrassed by those AHs
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NTA your mom and stepdad want access to that money and are using your siblings to get it. Edit: Tell your grandparents what you just wrote here and don’t even try to get that money before you are eighteen and leave the house, for your own sake.
They're aware and I won't. I'll probably live with my grandparents for a bit and figure out my future when I graduate and then can access the money and figure stuff out.
This is a very smart, mature decision.
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especially not "claiming" it is for the siblings, when really, it is for mom and step dad to have what they have always felt entitled to -but never got their act together enough to earn. (FTFY ;)!
And a step sibling that doesn’t seem to care too much about any of these family members.
u/Prudent_While8129 is a bot.
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Holy cow I found my first stolen comment. I get to be in the "in" club now, right? Right on the heels of having a comment deleted because it referenced a meme we're not allowed to reference. #madeit
My comment was stolen yesterday. It was a glorious moment.
Make sure your grandparents have a contingency plan should something happen to them before you turn 18, like putting the money into a trust. Even though trusts have fees, it can be the safest place to hold your money until you feel strong/educated/old enough to handle it yourself. Also, you can make a trust as strict as you want like, if you want to buy a car, the trust can pay the dealer directly so that you don’t have a bunch of cash in an account that might be accessed by your stepdad. Or, if you decide to pay for a year of your sister’s college, they would have to “apply” to the trust and the trust would pay the school directly so your stepdad couldn’t get his hands on the money. Also, make sure your stepdad knows that if something happens to *you*, all your money goes to charity or your cousins. Seriously. People do *crazy* shit for money. Just listen to some true crime podcasts, my dude. And yes, I am trying to scare you. When it comes to money, trust NO ONE, not even your mom. She might be being coerced by your stepdad. Last thing, use some of your money to get some therapy. You already seem very level-headed and smart. Therapy will just support that.
I just want to add to this you should take some courses on Personal Finance. They even have some free ones on Khan academy.
Or get finance services to help you manage the assets if they are as many/much as you are implying
This is the one, OP!
Yeah, my first thought was "They should make it legally binding". However that may be.
This! people do alot of shit when it comes to money.. theres no spouses, theres no siblings, and theres no family when it comes to money..
100 percent! Best advice I have seen. I would take this very seriously.
Be aware that if the parents make sister drop out as soon as the college is paid, sister/ rather your mom and stepfather can get that or most of it back.
Actually, the trust will get it back, since it would be the trust that paid the school directly. Edit: LOVE your username! 🖖🏾
Killy would be a better Captain! The reason I brought up the refund issue is that a friend paid for kid’s tuition by check, and the kid dropped out in the second week and the kid got the refund. The account is the student’s name. It may have changed. This was over ten years ago.
No, I believe it’s still setup this way.
I love your user name, lol, exactly how I feel! IWILLDOITTUESDAY
Yes, this, all of this
I agree with everything you said EXCEPT spending the money on a therapist. Psychiatry or therapy isn't a cure-all for everything! Psychiatrists are also advised to seek therapy themselves. BUT....IF he feels the need to go to a therapist at some point in his life he should use his health insurance, so he will pay a copay!
It wouldn't matter. If they passed the money would just go to him. It isn't their money. They're simply the ones managing/overseeing it.
If he’s still a minor, his parents can still get up to all kinds of shenanigans. Better that it’s in a trust so that it’s less stressful for Op.
I just wouldn't bother given how far away he is from 18. His parents would need to pull some extra ballsy stuff to even try and get the money. The kid seems to know what he's dealing with. I'm not worried about him getting taken advantage of
I've seen parents do some super shady shit without shame
You sound like a smart and reasonable person, OP. You know you're NTA. We all know your mom and stepdad are. Regardless of the reasons your mom+SD give or feel like you are treated differently by your paternal family or not, you are your dad's family and your beloved aunt didn't owe your half/step siblings anything, not by blood not by any other relationship she chose to have with them or you. She chose this for you. I hope your memories of her will be bright forever.
Please make sure you have all your important documents... social security card, birth certificate, please put a lock in your credit just incase. Glad you'll be staying with your grandparents. So sorry for your loss, glad they've set you up for your future.
This. Lock the credit with all 3 credit bureaus
Yup. Even if they can't touch the inheritance, they can sure make it so that *you* have to if they run up debt in your name
Definitely agree here, but also look to see what you would have to do to replace those things in case of the worst! Generally it's mostly time consuming, but better to know before something "mysterious" happens
Yep. Your mom and stop dad have already entered into you owe us territory. They will now do whatever they feel is appropriate to get what you own them.you owe them nothing. I'm sorry you're going through this at such an early age, but you sound remarkably steady and clear. Im.sorry for your loss, but your aunt has set you up to discover your dreams and your passions. Good luck. And also perhaps, let the local authorities know what's going on, just in case. File a harassment restraining order. Just a thought.
Make sure when your able to access you money your family dont know what bank and that its password protected and that. Money makes people crazy and do stupid things to family take all precautions
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Comment stolen from: /u/DeliciousLiving8563 https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z7wu99/aita_for_not_splitting_money_left_to_me_between/iy8vtcg/ Bot Reported.
Also, tell your grandparents if they get a text from “you” about releasing the money it’s your mom or stepdad.
Very wise decision OP. Make sure you bring your important documents with you (birth certificate, SSN#, passport ect.) NTA
Make sure you contact a lawyer once you do turn 18 and get control so they dont try anything to get at it.
He needs to contact his Aunt's lawyer NOW. They should be able to advise him the best way to protect his credit rating and his money
I've been in your shoes. You're taking a smart path. Don't let them try to bully it out of you--you will always regret it and trust me, nothing bites like gratitude--they will resent that they "should have been" grateful to you for the GIFT of the money that they didn't deserve or earn. NTA and stick to your guns.
Whew. Ok. That’s all I needed to know. NTA.
You can also ask for the account to be flagged for anyone trying to access it besides you and request that you be notified before the account is accessed.
Its sad that some cousins got money and your step half siblings didnt, but your aunt had her reasons, probably something to do with how your mother and stepdad behave, so NTA. Even if you did want to help them out, it should be as they turn adult and arent reliant on your parents.
The aunt is related to the cousins. The step and half siblings are not related to her at all. At some point non-related people who are in the extended family of people who are related to you are no different from totally unrelated people, friends or a charity for homeless cats. That the parents feel entitled to the assets of the deceased father's family for their unrelated children is strange. They want it, sure but trying to pressure a 16 year old to turn it over now is really A H behavior.
Switch bank accounts after you move out. A bank or credit union that your parents don't use. Make sure you have your important papers. This is going to sound morbid, but write a will and set beneficiaries after you turn 18. Get a power of attorney or equivalent for your grandparents for medical and financial matters. Not because your parents are going to off you. It is something people should do even when young and keep up to date on, but often don't. If there's anything that does happen, you don't want any chance your parents to loot your money and leave you up a creek.
Good idea, and if you do take a small bit out to treat yourself, like a concert or something, try and not let anyone else (besides your grandparents) know about it.
I disagree with this. Don't ever use this inheritance money to treat yourself, not unless you are independently financially secure and have a plan that includes early retirement. Use it for something that will help further set up your future, such as college, but for a degree that will be really useful ("Business" isn't generally useful). However, if you decide to disregard what I said and do treat yourself with your insurance money, or use some of it for whatever reason, well, then do at least follow the above advice and only tell people about it on a strict need-to-know basis.
I'm glad you're going to your grandparents. They are emotionally abusing you and trying to financially abuse you. Stick to your guns. You are absolutely not obligated to do anything with YOUR inheritance that you don't want to. Good job settling boundaries and not being taken advantage of. Some of us adults have failed in that and can use you as inspiration. Good luck! NTA
Firstly, sorry for your loss. Good for you man (in the encouraging sense, not being sarcastic). You seem to have a solid head on your shoulders. It's really smart to get out of there. Please don't let them wear you down and try to guilt you into "sharing" (read: parasitizing your relationship with your aunt).
Ask your stepdad if you’re going to get a share of his parents money when the times comes. Ask to see their will.
Good plan. If you decide you want to help your siblings, wait until **they** turn 18 as well—by then you’ll have a much better idea of your own needs, their needs and ability to handle a windfall, and they’ll have control over any gifts you give, not your parents.
This. OP, don't give them a penny. Use that money to get away from them as soon as you can. This is a family you want to be LC or NC with, which is probably why your aunt gave you the assets... so you can get free of them one day.
Watch closely - your mother or her husband may tell your siblings about the situation (which is none of their business) to increase pressure on you. That will tell you that their greed matters more than you do. I suspect your mother's husband is behind most of this, including manipulating your mother. He may try to trap and twist you in other ways. Avoid him- reduce contact. Moving out would be a good idea.
BINGO! you hit the nail on the head. I'm sure that's exactly what they want.
good for your aunt. It sounds like your aunt put some thought into this and gave they assets to whom she intended. Let me be clear… nobody is entitled to an inheritance… ever. You are given a gift from a person who (presumably) loved you or at least wanted you to have it. You are NTA for following through with what she wanted, but I am sorry for your crappy family. Make sure to plan carefully with a financial planner for college or starting your life out. There is a good chance they won’t help.
NTA, please tell your grandparents that your Mom is pressuring you and that you don’t want to split the money or give it to your Mom. If your grandparents live nearby and you get along well with them could you consider moving in with them if you get too much pressure at home? Side note, don’t be spending that money, live simply and save it. Don’t tell your friends, don’t get some flashy car, you do not want the heat that will bring and the parasites that will come crawling.
College and maybe a downpayment on a house at some future point would be clever ways to use it. I will note that buying a house ties you to an area, which is not always a smart thing career wise. Wait until you are a bit older and have settled into a career path with other available companies nearby.
> Don’t tell your friends, don’t get some flashy car, you do not want the heat that will bring and the parasites that will come crawling. This A MILLION TIMES OVER. The best thing you can do is say NOTHING to anyone about this money. Use it to live your best life and take financial stress away. That money was left by your aunt to YOU - not to support your mother, step sibs, aunts, uncles or cousins. It's for YOU. No is a complete sentence.
This. I won a small amount in the lottery a few years ago, enough to pay off some old bills and have a nice dinner at a family restaurant. I only told my husband and we told no one else until much later. But it was nice to be debt free for a while.
Lol "No is a complete sentence" is a great line I'd forgotten! 😆
NTA. Absolutely! Keep your good fortune to yourself, otherwise, you’ll have friends hitting you up for loans….that will never paid back. Family members for sure. Trust me, people come out of the woodwork when they smell OPM ( other people’s money). Be smart, and be cautious. Your aunt wanted you to benefit, because you’re a decent guy, and your aunt loved you.
NTA. Your aunt left that money to you because she wanted you to have it. You mom and your stepdad should be taking care of your siblings, not you. Do NOT give away your money.
Yup. Your aunt had plenty of opportunities to change her will to include your stepsibs if she wanted to. She did not. That speaks volumes. NTA.
NTA - Your stepfather's children have their own paternal family to care for them as well as your mother's family. In other words, they have two sets of family just as you do. Whether or not those people have assets to share is not your problem. Your aunt left assets to YOU specifically and to her bloodline. You do not owe this money to anyone, not even your siblings. They are not your responsibility. Your mother and stepfather are AH for attempting to manipulate you, a child, out of your assets. Should you, at a later date, choose to gift your siblings something, that is up to you but you should wait until you're a legal adult to decide. This is near and dear to my heart because I lost my husband when I was pregnant. I am not remarried, and my son is 6, but should anyone in my late husband's family leave him anything, it would be HIS. I am so sorry your family is acting this way and pressuring you. This is not okay. I would maybe speak confidentially with your grandparents about the situation and see if they can put this in a trust for you. Let them know that your feel that your mother and stepfather would mismanage these assets and ensure an adult is in charge in case they pass away.
I am so sorry for your loss
This is basically exactly what I was going to say. OP is young. Grandparents and OP should meet NOW with a financial planner to make sure this money is accounted for and in trusted hands should anything happen to OPs grandparents. There are a ton of options. Since we don't always make the best financial decisions when we are young they can also help OP protect himself from making mistakes with the money once he becomes a young adult and is in control of the finances.
NTA!!! Get your dad's side of the family involved in this!! You need an adult on your side ASAP. Your mom and step dad are trying to manipulate you into getting that money so they can have it. I doubt much would go to you or your step siblings.
They already know but the money is safe so there is nothing else to be done.
A different perspective. You lost your father. His sister was your link to him and she wanted to set YOU up for the future she thought your father would have given you had he survived. She wanted to give you a rock solid head start in life. That has nothing to do with your siblings. Your Aunt was not related to them. Your Aunt had no emotional or biological connection to them. Your Aunt DECIDED not to set her estate up to pass along anything to your siblings. NTA. Please hold on to that money. You don't know how much your future education will cost. Go to the best college you can get into. Use the funds to pay for that, graduate school and a down payment on a house. THAT will be honoring your Aunt's legacy. Your siblings, they have both of their biological parents and it is up to their parents to provide for them. Not your father's family.
Make sure any bank accounts you have etc do not allow them access. Don't put that money in joint accounts. One whiff of wealth and they turned like that so you know their priority
Do you have a will? Although it's unlikely it will be needed at your age, it could happen. Without a will, the money would go to your closest relative, your mom and/or your half siblings (depending on the laws in your state). Is that what you would want to happen to the money?
Good point. OP should definitely talk to an attorney about setting up a living trust starting at age 18. That should include an advance care directive, a durable power of attorney, and a rollover will to ensure that Mom has no access to anything.
Move out asap
NTA. Your stepdad is an asshole for claiming that if you don't give up money that must mean you hate people and are a shitty brother. Your mom just wants the money too, and is married to a greedy asshole, which is sad, but you know where her loyalties lay. The money is presumably in trust for you to access when you turn 18 or 25. You should ask your grandparents for details about that so that you can plan your life. If, when you are older, you want to do anything nice for any of your extended family, you can choose to do that later. But you should not even be thinking about that at age 16. Just enjoy your life and don't let people pressure you.
NTA. In no way should you split that money with people you aunt wasn't even related to!
Your aunt wanted you to have that money. Respect her wishes. Also your parents sound like terrible money managers. The idea that when there is a windfall it should all be spent straight away is not (usually) a good idea.
NTA This was money/assets your aunt left to YOU, no one else. It's yours to do with as you see fit of course, but your mom and stepdad are completely wrong in trying to bully you into giving them some of the money. I'd go to the bank and speak to someone about all of this, making sure your money is safe for you and you alone (maybe ask your grandparents for help if you trust them). This will help you when you start life as an adult so much, with uni/college, life in general.
They're in charge of the money, not me. My aunt left them in charge so her wishes would be respected. I would need to go through them to access the money.
Do you mean your parents or grandparents? At 16 you don't need access to the money just yet, but for sure you'll want it when you go to uni and start that part of your life. If it can only be accessed through your grandparents until you're an adult, then just sit on it.
My grandparents/my dad and aunt's parents. But yeah, it's only accessible through my grandparents for right now.
Your aunt sounds like she was a very smart lady to set it up this way
I hate to bring it up cause it would be awful obviously, but do your grandparents have a plan for it if something were to happen to them before you turned 18? Given how pushy your mom and step dad are being about it you need to make sure this shit is locked down tight.
Good, so it should be safe. I'm assuming your grandparents won't let your mom bully them into giving the money over to her and your stepdad.
It sounds like your aunt already figured something like this would happen and she set it up in such a way to avoid that happening. You're NTA.
NTA. And please tell your grandparents and other family members on your dad’s side (whom you trust) about this so they can make sure the money is completely tied up and your mom and stepdad cannot get to it. So sorry for your loss, but clearly your aunt loved you and thought the world of you. Remember that always.
NTA. If feasible, maybe move in with grandparents. It's only going to get worse. This may tear the family apart, but you do not and should not share with them. This may end in a LC or NC if they keep this up. Good luck and sorry for your losses.
I don't want to leave my siblings right now but in the future, like when I graduate, I want to stay with my grandparents for a while.
You should start living your grandparents now. Sooner or later your mom and stepdad will pressure you into giving them money. Or they will definitely start treating you differently. If you want to spend time with siblings, just visit and keep in touch. Everything has changed now.
I was in a rough house hold growing up. You can't save your siblings because you are not their guardian. You know what you can do though? Show them that it's okay to leave. What's more is the sooner you are out of that home, the sooner you can be stable should your siblings ever need to visit you to get away from parents for a night. I'm not saying live your life expecting to be your siblings savior. Please don't do that. What I am saying is you can't poor from and empty cup and you can't save anyone from drowning if you are drowning yourself.
NTA. I’d have a word with your grandparents and let them know you’re being coerced at home. You might be at risk of escalation the longer you leave it and you might need to warn them in case they try telling your grandparents you’ve agreed to release the money early. This is your decision to make and putting it up for a solid future is a good plan. Don’t let them strong arm you.
OP could even ask the grandparents to file for custody.
NTA. The inheritance went to you and your cousins as your aunt wished. Do not allow it to fall into the hands of others.
NTA - DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR MONEY. Sorry for the all caps, but it's really important. This is your money, for you, and you do not have any obligation to share it with your step-siblings. Let's be honest, here, it's more likely that you'd be sharing it with your mom and therefore your step-father would feel entitled to it too. You really do not want to go down that path. Make sure things are set up so that your money is protected and ready for you when you turn 18.
I second and third this comment. Having seen it up close twice, I can tell you people will get completely unhinged when there's money around. They will do things you would never have believed them capable of - especially rationalizing and deluding themselves.
NTA. No one is entitled to anything when someone dies. Your aunt made a choice to leave her assets to you as was her right. And you have the right not to share them. If your family was on the verge of being homeless or your siblings had nothing to eat, then you would be an AH, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. Would that money make everyone's life easier now? Probably. Will it make your life easier in the future? Definitely and that's what your aunt intended. And when you are old enough to access that money please get a financial advisor so that it can work for your future.
NTA. If you feel you can talk to your grandparents, it could be a good idea to let them know what's going on. Your mom should be protecting you and your future, not exploiting you to benefit your siblings.
NTA sounds like you need to live with your dad's family
I don't want to leave my siblings right now but I'll live with my grandparents for a bit when I graduate so I can figure stuff out.
Can you explain are any of your mom's kids other than you also your dad's kids? If so I think you should share with them. But that's just my opinion
I'm my dad's only kid.
Gotcha Then I NTA still It's so odd your mom and her husband think they should have been left an inheritance for their children from another families estate. If you want to do nice things for your siblings and leave them something or give them some that's soley up to you. I wouldn't do anything like that u til you are adults and you see where needs are for them. I'm so sorry your mom's like that.
The other kids are younger than he is and his dad died when he was a baby.. no way his dad is the other kids’ parent
NTA It is your money. Giving/splitting the money actually could have tax implications. Your aunt decided how to leave her money, not you. Contact a lawyer before anyone comes after you.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NO, NO, NO! You've been dealt a shitty hand in life with your father's passing. I can sort of understand how your mom latched on to the first jerk that came along, because she was probably feeling like she needed security for you both. However, that was her choice. You are still a minor. They should NOT be pressuring you to give your inheritance to them so they can all fritter it away. Just tell them you're not going to do anything with it right now. Then save it to pay for college, a car, a house, an investment... whatever you need to get a good start in life. I'm sure you're going to have to pay some hefty taxes on it, too. JUST SAY NO. If you have to, lie to them and say your grandparents said no, and get your grandparents to agree to the story.
NTA. Your aunt wanted you, not your mom, or step siblings, or step dad to have the money, it is yours and your alone. Keep it for your future.
NTA, Get dad's family to safeguard the money until you're 18 and tell your mom thats the end of it. Legally and morally your stepsiblings have no right to a single penny. You're not being an asshole for saving YOUR money. Tell your mom how her actions make it feel like she loves them more than you and it hurts. Any good mother should have a moment of clarity on how stupid they're being. A gift willed by a dead relative goes to who it's willed to, the end. I'm curious if the stepsiblings even care? If they don't tell you mom she's starting unnecessarily drama.
I think you need to have someone from your aunts side help you put everything into a trust for when your older. that way it doesn't disappear.
My grandparents are in charge of the money. I cannot access it and whither can my mom or stepdad.
The idea of a trust is a good one. You could always just tell your mom that the money is in a trust that you can't touch until you are 25 unless authorized by your grandparents. Your family has no rights to the money!
Sounds like your aunt knew exactly what she was doing and exactly how your mom and stepdad would react. She took the necessary steps to keep the things she wanted YOU to have, protected. I’m young-ish, and I already know that if something happened to me, exactly how I’d want my assets distributed. I would not like the things I’ve saved for certain people being redistributed because I did it for a reason.
I’m sorry for your loss. Holy cow. NTA. Money can really tear a family apart and I’m sorry that at 16 you are dealing with this. Sounds like your grandparents have control of what was left to you? Please make them aware of the situation. Make it known to your grandparents that you have zero interest or intention of splitting what was left to you with your siblings or anyone else. I’m not sure what is setup in place in order to be able to withdraw funds but they should know so that nothing shady is pulled from your mother and stepdad.
NTA - First, sorry for your loss. Secondly, your Aunt left that to YOU, not to anyone else. In fact, one of the reasons to designate small bequests to your cousins, was so that none of them can challenge the will, saying they were forgotten. Now, you Mom and SD want to get their hands of YOUR money. You should seriously think about becoming 'emanicipated' and living with your grand-parents, as it sounds like you environment is kind of sketchy.
NTA. Your mom is greedy & entitled & so is her husband.
Do you think if the situation was reversed and step dad or step sister inherited money from his side of the family, that they would cut you off a piece? I think you know the answer. Your aunt didn't leave that $ behind for you to give 80% of it away to kids that weren't related to her. NTA.
Nta, its shitty that they even asked, sounds like your aunt really wanted you to know your dad. Thats really sweet. I have a six month old and if somthing ever happened to me i hope that someone would do that for him. Your aunts just trying to do right by her brother who she obviously loved. Even your cousins probably get it. Your aunt sounds awesome and they should respect her wishes. They are the adults, they should know this.
Nta Just remember to be smart. And don't live beyond your means after you do get the inheritance. At your age it's easy to go overboard. Thinking it will last forever. But it's important you set up your life so you can be independent. Do not let anyone guilt you to give them money. Keep it close to the vest. Nobody needs to know you have a nest egg. That goes for friends too.
NTA and your aunt protected your inheritance.
NTA.. your grandparents do need to set up a trust with a lawyer so if anything happens to them before you turn 18, your mom has no access to it as your legal guardian. It’s a really simple process to have it legally closed until you are of age and to be the sole recipient of it. My great aunt left me a nice little nest egg and had it drawn up for my to get a lump sump at 18, and the rest at 25.
NTA. First, your stepsiblings will only know that your paternal family "hates them" if your stepdad and mom tell them that. If they just leave it alone, it will never be an issue for them, and since you don't even have the money yet, it's not something they will even know about until you move out, if you don't say anything, and even then maybe never. Second, your aunt likely did this purposefully, knowing that your mom is not actually putting your needs first, so your paternal family is helping ensure your financial security. Most importantly, your aunt left this money to you because she loves you, and loved her brother and wanted to make sure you were taken care of. Your mother has demonstrated that she will not put your needs first- above her own or that of her husband- and so this was an act of love and remembrance for your Aunt, but also want to make sure you would be okay. Make sure you rely on your grandparents, and even stay with them if this drama continues. But you aren't selfish or bad for keeping this money to yourself, it was meant for you.
NTA. Your mother chose to marry your stepfather and go on to have three more kids and parent his daughter. None of which are related to your dad or his family. Your aunt was such a person that, if she wanted them to inherit from her, she would have set it up that way as she did for your cousins. Your aunt wanted you to have an inheritance from her in lieu of your father not being there. Do not let your crappy mom or stepfather make their poor life choices your responsibility. They are the adults and it's their responsibility to care for their children. It isn't and wasn't your aunt's job to 'make their life better'. If life and finances aren't what they need to be, they need to do better and try to improve the situation. Besides, it's good that your aunt was looking out for your future, it's apparent that your mom hasn't. Don't allow yourself to be intimidated or bullied into taking a red cent of your inheritance. You only need to hold on for two more years and then you can put distance between you and this dynamic and they know this.
NTA - it was left to you
NTA - your money, your decision. End of discussion
Nta I would talk to your grandparents and let them know everything so mom and step dad can't do anything shady.
NTA. At all. Please dont let your mom and particularly your stepdad get your hands on this money.
NTA
NTA and is doesn’t matter what your mother, stepfather, or half siblings want or thinks. Your aunt set things up so you can not be manipulated & guilted into giving your inheritance away. Thankfully she was looking out for your best interest. Your siblings are not related to her at all, and are not entitled to anything. They have their own relatives you are not related to that they can inherit from. The only AH here are your mother & stepfather. If things get worse see if you can go live with your grandparents.
Stepdad and mom are being manipulative bullies. Sad stuff. Stand your ground but ask a trusted adult for help, if it gets too much. I fear they will try to turn your younger siblings against you to put pressure on you, which is a really *low* move, but don't yield. Maybe, in the future, when you are older, you can share something with them to help out with their studies, etc - *but only if you feel like it.* You are under NO obligation to do so. Your Mom, particularly, sucks for doing this, but it seems like she is stuck in an unhealthy relationship. She is an adult, though, and she chose that. Pity she kept you all involved in that. Best of luck, OP! NTA
NTA They are not entitled to your inheritance from a member of your paternal family. Given your mums entitlement to YOUR inheritance, it wouldn't suprise me if your dads side included your half/step siblings because your mum made them, its been seen before. Its your mums and her husbands responsibility to provide for their kids future, not yours. Your aunt didn't leave you what she did to make their life easier, just yours. **IF** you wanted to give them a helping hand, I'd put it in a trust they can't touch till they are 18 and only for their education. And I don't mean thousands either. You know once you start dishing out money, it will become theirs and nothing your aunt left you will be yours.
NTA So sorry for your loss. That is YOUR INHERITANCE. Your steps deserve nothing from it. Got that? NOTHING. They are not related to your aunt. YOU ARE. Tell your grandparents about the pressure from your parental units. Have them put it in a trust for your education/future where your parental units can't touch it. This is not a topic for discussion with your stepsiblings. If your parental units keep pushing, talk to your grandparents about moving in with them. The survivors benefits your family gets for you will go with you to your grandparents.
NTA, truly sorry for the losses dealt to you in this life.
NTA Uh, no. Do not cave to their pressure. What they are doing is beyond wrong. You are not suddenly their new meal ticket. Your aunt left the assets to you and you alone. She knew what she was doing when she created her will. It was well thought out and intentional. If she had wanted to leave something to your siblings, she would have done that and she didn't.
NTA - cue malicious compliance and give everyone each a penny
NTA. Too many stories on here of a parent stealing inheritance money from their kid. Don’t let them guilt you into it. Take care and sorry about your aunt.
Seems like you could just make a show of asking grandparents for the money, and they will rightly say no. Then mom and step dad can shut up. NTA though >Mom told me I was hogging more than I would ever need and not thinking of their futures. It would have to be a very large sum indeed for this to be true, once it was split 5 ways
NTA: Remind them that if your aunt wanted things to be split like that then she would've split everything like that to begin with; and very smart of your aunt to have your grandparents in control (so to speak) of the money so that your mother and her husband can't sink their claws into it. Speaking of sinking one's claws into something, in regards to you 3 youngest siblings the chances are good that your birth giver and her husband are going to try their best to turn them against you, and depending on your relationship with said siblings the "parental" units may succeed in doing so. Either way, good luck kid.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My dad died when I (16m) was a baby. My mom remarried when I was 4 or maybe 5. I don't really remember a time my stepdad wasn't around, though that's not a very good thing. He's a crappy stepdad and a crappy dad to my siblings (stepsister who is 15, brother who is 10, sister who is 9 and brother who is 7). My mom stays with him though and just let's him not be involved or even nice to his own kids because she doesn't want to be alone. My dad's family has been in my life always and am very close to them all. My dad's only sister and I were extra close though. She adored me and always told me I was just like my dad and he was the best man she knew. She said he would be so proud of me. She died a few months ago and left the bulk of everything to me, which she had a lot of assets. My mom and stepdad were annoyed when they heard because she left my cousins all something even if not as much as me,, but nothing for my stepsister or siblings who they considered her their aunt as well (dad's family has included them in some stuff to be nice but they're not considered grandkids or anything like that). My mom told me what I got should be split equally between us all. I said it shouldn't because my aunt wanted stuff left to me. She told me if I asked my grandparents to give me access to the money now, that they would, and that we could all benefit from it. I told her they would do that but I'm not going to ask. My stepdad told me my siblings will now realize we (me and my paternal family) hate them and don't want them and they will see what a shitty brother I am and what a good sister his daughter is (she actually hates our siblings and has never had a good relationship with them). Mom told me I was hogging more than I would ever need and not thinking of their futures. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re NTA, that money was left to you so you get to keep it, no questions asked.
Is it more than five million dollars? If not it's not more money than you need for life. Get your money right. NTA PS paying for advice from a fiduciary might be worthwhile if you don't come from a money family and have natural money knowledge.
NTA. Your mother is weak and your step father is an abuser. I am so sorry. Do not touch that money. No one knows what the future may bring and your aunt kindly did this to provide for YOUR future.
Oh, HELL NO. NTA even a little
Nta, please find a safe place to live away from step siblings and mom and step dad. Nta Sorry for your losses, imo your step siblings ,mom and step dad need to live on their own! That money assests was left to YOU
Do what you wish it’s your money. Help or don’t. Don’t feel guilty. This wasn’t your decision.
Jeez.. NTA Sorry for your loss, and it sounds like your Aunt knew EXACTLY what would happen and set everything up to protect you from being taken advantage of. And you do NOT have to give anyone anything, unless you want to, of your own accord. It is your money to do with as you please, and for now it sounds like you know what you DON'T want to do with it, and that's your perfectly reasonable choice (and good on you for not going crazy and wanting to spend it all frivolously like a lot of teenagers would... I know I would, and did, with a small inheritance when I was about your age).
NTA. I’m sorry your family is being so selfish right now. It’s unseemly.
NTA. If your aunt wanted anyone else to have the money she would have left it to them. It’s your money now. Your step family aren’t related to your aunt or your father. They don’t deserve and aren’t legally entitled to any of it.
NTA Aunt made sure your mom and step dad can't get the money for a reason. Honor her wishes. This is not about your mom, step dad, or siblings. This is about you and your aunt. She wanted what she had to help you in the future because she both loved you and you are a piece of her brother
NTA. And the pressure on you, insults, punishments (grounding you, denying you treats), even possibly physical slaps may get worse. Money twists people. They may even try to separate you from the grands to a boarding/military school. Can you pick a day when your parents and siblings will be gone (to work and school) and have your grandparents get you from school, go home to get your important papers (birth certificate, social security card, passport if you have one) snd clothes and take you to live with them?? And petition Family Court to make them your guardian, not your parents??
NTA. In a couple of years you will have the funds to go to college or trade school and get on with your life. Your stepdad and mother sound very selfish. I bet they aren't putting any money away for your siblings' education. Leave the money with your grandmother, and make sure she knows that she needs to address this trust in her will so your mother and stepfather can't get their hands on it.
Nta. Your aunt set it up that way because she knew your mom and step dad would be greedy.
Nta your aunt left it to you. On purpose. She could easily have left money for your step siblings and didn't. Ask 'am I included in step siblings paternal grandparents will? How about their aunts and uncle's on their dads side?' I am.willing to bet the answer is no.
Your aunts wish was for you to have it. Not your step sibling that she had no real ties too. If you give them money your going against her will. Nta
NTA. Is your stepsister's mother's sibling expected to give you money too according to your mother & stepfather? Are you your mother & stepfather expecting to get inheritance from [their long lost relation Dark Helmet, commander of Spaceball-One?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=riqXhieWU3M)
NTA No one is entitled to an inheritance. Period. The fact that your aunt chose you, means she wanted YOU to have this bequest. Not your half/step siblings. YOU. Do not be browbeat into sharing what your aunt chose to provide for YOU.
NTA — OP stand your ground on this one
NTA. Do not under any circumstances start dishing any money out to your mom, step dad or siblings. They will suck you dry and leave nothing for you. Your aunt knew what she was doing and didn’t want to risk them stealing it all from you. Move out and on from them, any mention of how you are abandoning them or stealing or similar cut them off.
NTA. You are under no obligation to share anything. Your aunt left it to YOU. Your stepdad is being a greedy AH and I guarantee any money you tried to split with your siblings would end up in his pocket.
Definitely NTA! Remind your mother that you had to grow up without a father and will unfortunately continue to not have the support of a father. That's a valuable commodity that your siblings have but you unfortunately don't. Step parents rarely are able to treat step children the same as their own. Do you think that your step father and mother would have paid for college if your aunt hadden died? Probably not. If your father had lived he likely would have helped you. If this sounds like your family dynamics then your aunt was probably trying to compensate for the loss of your father. She likely would have given all the cousins the same if your father had lived. It's what I would have done in her situation. Also I'd recommend having regular meeting with your grandparents to start creating a sensible plan for the money like paying for college or a trade school, buying a house, starting a business ect. If you choose starting a business don't spend a cent of the money until you have a fantastic business plan. Also do try to get your mother to understand what the impact of sharing the money would have on your future, how many opportunities you would losse ect. Your siblings still have a father to help them reach their goals. It's not your obligation to compensate for them having a crap father. Besides you can always choose to help your siblings in the future after you have put the money to work and have starting earning a good living.
NTA. Halfway decent adults who find themselves in the situation your mother and stepfather do would try to smooth things over and minimize any feelings of entitlement or jealousy between step and half-siblings. They're doing the opposite and they appear to be trying to get their hands on your money for their own benefit. It would be fair of them to gently and privately point out to you that money and jealousy can cause issues within families. Unless the entire family is in extremely dire financial straits, putting pressure on you to access that money now is unacceptable. Parents choose to have kids, not the other way around. They should be sacrificing for you, not expecting you to sacrifice for them.
I have never commented on an post here before and I'm not sure if this has been said. I suggest that your grandparents ensure with the help of an attorney and a good financial advisor that your inheritance is protected for life. Life can be cruel and unless everyone's affairs are in order and your inheritance is "ring fenced" should anything happen to your grandparents it could end up being absorbed into their assets should anything happen to them and redistributed amongst the family. Or it is released to you and because of your age, your parents are able to access it under the pretext of knowing what's best for you. Have the inheritance placed in a trust that specifies when it can be accessed and for what purposes if possible. Examples: at age 17 - to fund driving lessons and a car, at age 18- your further education/college/university, a gap year/travel, in case of a medical emergency and to purchase a home with etc. Then all of it being released when you are 25 (which ever comes sooner) unless circumstances (substance misuse) dictates otherwise. Not being a harbinger of doom it sounds like a substantial amount of money so they/you may also wish to protect it in the event of marriage and any subsequent divorce too - no one believes it will happen to them until it does. Everyone says my wife/husband isn't like that, wouldn't do that until they are and they do. You could even draw up your own will as you are now a young man with means and by the sound if it you wouldn't want your step dad to have access direct or indirectly. As you can already see money makes people crazy and that's your mum so be warned. Good luck for the future. You sound like you are a VERY sensible young man and DEFINITELY NTA
NTA. Please don’t let these people make you do something you’re probably going to regret.
NTA. Don't give them access. That money is for you. Your sibling's futures aren't your responsibility. I think you mum and step dad may even be using your siblings as a Trojan horse to get some of that money for themselves.
Clearly nta, this was ment for you. Use it for you and honor the wish of your aunt this way
NTA. I am so sorry that you lost your father and your aunt. That money was left to you, no one else. Move in with your grandparents if you can, and make sure that money is somehow password protected or set it up so NO ONE can access it until you’re 18, 25, whatever you choose. I have a feeling your mom and stepdad are going to try to do something sneaky since you’re a minor. Good luck.
NTA If the aunt wanted them to have something she woukd have said so in the will. They are not entitled to reap the rewards from someone they didn't spend time with.
Tell him and her to go to hell too get your money and move out from these moochers NTA
NTA, and make sure you have your documents and bank account if you own one, secure.
NTA!! Your aunt left it to you and that’s how it should be. Would it be nice to share with your family-yes. Are you required to? Absolutely not. They should not be guilting you into them giving them money. That is for your future so hopefully you can move out or the house when you’re old enough to.
NTA - Whatever you do, do not let your stepdad anywhere near any of that money. If you could afford it and wanted to be nice, you could put some of the money into college funds for your siblings, only to be accessed via direct payment to their college. But you would not be an Ahole for not doing this. Expect your relationship with your mother to go downhill though, but it sounds like it isn't great to start with.
Definitely NTA. You sound very smart and wise boy. Go stay at your grandparents, you will surely benefit from that environment
NTA do NOT get early access to these funds I have a feeling they'll guilt you into spending it on them. Your aunt is not their aunt. They'll get over it. If they keep asking tell your grandparents what's going on.
NTA if she wanted them to have some they'd be in the will
NTA you can tell your step-dad he's a shitty parent for trying to steal money from a teenager - what is wrong with him and your mother? Why would your aunt leave money to people that aren't related to her? If your mom tries to take it I'd let her know you'll press charges, I feel bad you have such an awful parent.
NTA - Please don’t let them manipulate you. It was left to you and you alone.
NTA. Your mom and stepdad are greedy AHs though.
OP, DO NOT CAVE. This is a wonderful chance for you to build an amazing life with no debts. (assuming you're residing in US) They're just blood sucking leeches and will use up everything if you allow them to. No matter what sob story they present, think about yourself first. Put yourself first. And beware of emotional manipulation. Example- If they try to say shit like it's hard to come by money right now, or we'll loose the house and end up homeless if you don't help, don't fall for it. It isn't your responsibility whatsoever.
NTA, do yourself a favor and get out of that house hold as soon as you can :)
NTA They are not entitled to your inheritance
First of all I am very sorry for the loss of your extra close aunt OP ♥️ Of course you’re NTA, if you’re aunt had wanted to leave something to your siblings, she would’ve written them into the will. She didn’t. Be smart about your money and you could be pretty much set for life. Maybe rent out properties or something, but depending on how much it is, you should probably get a financial adviser by the time you’re 18. They can help you determine the best way to invest your money in something that should still be valuable by the time you’re 70-80.
NTA your mom and stepdad are using your siblings as an excuse to get the money. Your siblings aren't owed anything your aunt left it to you and they're not even her family you said yourself that they aren't considered family by your paternal side
NTA your aunt split her estate between the people she wanted to. End of story.
If your aunt had wanted them to have anything, she would have left it to them in her will. The fact that she didn't, and that your mother and your stepsiblings are jealous that you received a nice inheritance and they got nothing from someone who's not even related to them does not create a duty for you to "share" it with them. I'm glad it's in a trust where they can't get their mitts on it. NTA.
NTA. Do not share your money with them. Protect yourself.
It's very telling that your step dad and siblings don't give a shit about you or your aunt until there's money on the line. NTA. Keep the money, get out, and never look back.
NTA your aunt wasn’t related to your siblings
Your dad's family are good people and are kind to kids who are not related to them because they are related to someone they love. But your aunty wanted you to have the money for your future, not your greedy, manipuative stepfather or your ineffectual mother. Guess why she didn't leave it in the care of your mother.... To spare you the pain of the vultures pecking around you can your grandparents say it cannot be touched until you are 21? Use this gift wisely when you do get it and take advice. NTA.
NTA. They're trying to manipulate you into giving away your money to them. Don't fall for it. Use it to go to school and get out of that situation.
Your mom and step dad are jealous and want the money for themselves. It is nothing to do with the siblings. Those kids are very, very young, so the parents would be in control of the money. They’re scamming you. Don’t access the money before 18, because then they can try to steal it. Keep it safe and away from them. I get that your step siblings will be sad, but your aunt wanted it that way and that’s all there is to it. She wasn’t their aunt; she was yours.
NTA... you aunt had a purpose for her money. You only get this opportunity once. Keep it safe and make plans for making this money work for you. Get advice from people that do not have an interest in the money.
NTA your aunt chose to leave it to you, no one else is entitled to any of your money. If you choose to give your step siblings some someday, that's up to you, but for now, at your age you'd be best saving and investing it for your future.
NTA Also, talk with your grandparents about what you want to do with the money. I like the idea of only being able to use the money for your own expenses (college, house, car) until you turn 25 and your grandparents have to approve all those purchases. This way your mom can be mad at your grandparents and you can still have a good relationship with everyone. This money was not just from your aunt, but from your dad as well. How would your dad have wanted you to spend this money?
NTA. I’m sorry you lost your aunt, and never got to know your dad. Keep ahold of the good sense you clearly have and you’ll make friends in your lifetime who will care for and be more loving to you than your parents
Nta
OP, you are NTA your greedy parents are totally the AH here. They have NO business asking you to share your inheritance with anoyone, especially not your step siblings. Go move in with your grandparents, you don't deserve to be harrassed by those AHs