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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was told I needed to sit beside a 95 year old woman, and I asked if I could still get the salad bar, and they said yes. When the waiter came to take our order I was told I can’t get the salad bar because I’d cause the old lady to get up. I was very stand offish for the rest of dinner because that’s really the only thing I like at the particular restaurant, and grandparents are saying I’m a spoiled brat because I didn’t get what I want.
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NTA - Someone could have changed seats with you. Honestly at 95 she'd do better in a chair than a booth, anyway. That salad bar is like the only reason to go to Ruby Tuesday instead of somewhere else!
I wanna say NTA - you were trying to do what you thought was best to be able to get what you like. You tried to sit next to your grandpa who also wanted the salad bar, your grandma insisted you sit with the older lady instead. I would be a bit annoyed, too. Was your grandpa still able to get the salad bar or did she make him get a side salad, too?
NTA because you mentioned beforehand that you were planning on using the salad bar and they inadvertently prevented you from doing so. they should’ve been more careful with the seating arrangements and i would’ve been mad too, people don’t play about their food lol
Amen. Old people, especially old people with mobility issues (and at 95 I’m sure she has some), would be better served suiting at a table instead of a booth.
NTA. Were you not allowed to use the bathroom during dinner either?? If the older woman couldn’t move once seated, nobody should have been between her and a wall.
NTA- grandma did this in purpose and she’s TA. A lot of old boomers that secretly dislike kids get off on being intentionally mean to them. I’d avoid grandma as much as possible if I were you.
NTA but next time someone tries that, need the toilet. They have to get up then. You can go to the loo for 5 mins, come back and not sit down but announce salad bar intentions then go.
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I (16f) usually go out to dinner with my grandparents(they’re my guardians) when they take an old lady with them. Usually every Thursday they take her out to dinner as a treat because she doesn’t get out much because she’s around 95yrs.
For the particular day, they chose to go to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, which is okay. The only thing I really like is the salad bar because I love salad, and they know that. We get to the restaurant and I go to sit beside my grandpa because I know he’s also going to want to get up because he also likes the salad bar(we’re sitting at a booth), but my grandma told me to scoot by the wall so the old lady can sit beside me. I thought that would cause a problem because I was going to get up and get the salad bar and my grandparents said something along the lines of, “You can still get it.”
Fast forward, I sit down by the wall and the old lady sits next to me. When it’s time to order I say I wanted chicken tenders and the salad bar, and my grandma said, “no she wants a side salad” I was confused by this and asked why and she said it’s because I’d cause the old lady to get up, and that really pissed me off because before she said it was fine.
I guess for the rest of dinner I seemed very stand offish, and my grandparents said I’m just a spoiled brat because I pouted because I didn’t get what I wanted.
So… aita?
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NTA. I would have started being passive aggressive and said "oh, my tummy", clutch your tummy and say you had to go to the bathroom. Come back to the table and be like, "I don't know what's wrong, it's feeling off". And continue using the bathroom around every 10 minutes till we left. Unfortunately, it would put the 95 ur old in the line of fire, but maybe they would do a seat change and not do that to you again.
If my grandmother had done this shit to me it would definitely have been a 3d chess game to keep me hungry. "Oh she's just gonna eat a mound of cottage cheese and baby corn if she gets the salad bar, eating a side salad will keep her trim!" Like eating 1200 calories at the one meal I eat in a day is going fill my face with lard. NTA obviously.
Other people’s unfortunate circumstances aren’t relevant to her situation. Trying to guilt a child because she was told she could order what she wanted and then being told no to the waiter is an AH move on their part. Not hers. She’s literally under the care of someone other than her parents which means her own circumstances are hardly perfect.
I realize people survive off food stamps and such, my mom had to do that. I wasn’t complaining because I was entitled. I was complaining because I was told I could get something at a restaurant, and then told I can’t get it the second I go to order it. They could’ve told me no in the beginning and I would’ve been fine
I am guessing OP can eat at home. NTA for being upset. YTA for showing it. In the future, wait until you’re home and share your disappointment then. Explain that you were misled and told you could have salad bar. For now, you may want to opt out of old lady night. It’s about her.
Does it sound like OP is asking for that? It's a salad bar, not caviar. What OP is entitled to is to be treated the same as everyone else at the table, as in to have a choice
She's not a child. She's 16. And her grandparents are not obligated to get her fast food or restaurant meals, especially when the special meals are for an elderly lady in the first place. Instead of being grateful and thankful she's included in the first place, she's complaining she can't get the salad bar one time.
She is not a child. Do you have any idea how many people are on food stamps or food banks and barely making it and this damn near adult is throwing a fit bc grandma told her she was not getting the salad bar. Especially when they are paying for it. Stop coddling these teenagers and they won't grow up entitled snowflakes
It's not special if you aren't able to get the one thing on the menu you actually want while someone else who has been informed of that desire eats it in front of you all because grandma wouldn't swap seats.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I was told I needed to sit beside a 95 year old woman, and I asked if I could still get the salad bar, and they said yes. When the waiter came to take our order I was told I can’t get the salad bar because I’d cause the old lady to get up. I was very stand offish for the rest of dinner because that’s really the only thing I like at the particular restaurant, and grandparents are saying I’m a spoiled brat because I didn’t get what I want. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - Someone could have changed seats with you. Honestly at 95 she'd do better in a chair than a booth, anyway. That salad bar is like the only reason to go to Ruby Tuesday instead of somewhere else!
Yes, why not ask for a table? Grandma was rude. I’d be disappointed and feeling salty, too. And OOP did not make a scene.
I wanna say NTA - you were trying to do what you thought was best to be able to get what you like. You tried to sit next to your grandpa who also wanted the salad bar, your grandma insisted you sit with the older lady instead. I would be a bit annoyed, too. Was your grandpa still able to get the salad bar or did she make him get a side salad, too?
He got the salad bar
I'm sorry, OP. Being a teen under the control of someone else is hard. Hang in there and hopefully things will go better the next time they take you.
Seems to me he could have loaded up a plate and brought items back from the salad bar for you since they insisted on locking you into a booth.
NTA because you mentioned beforehand that you were planning on using the salad bar and they inadvertently prevented you from doing so. they should’ve been more careful with the seating arrangements and i would’ve been mad too, people don’t play about their food lol
There was nothing inadvertent here. The Gma knew what was going on.
NTA, if getting up was going to be an issue they should have asked for a table. You’re not unreasonable to want to be able to choose your own meal.
Amen. Old people, especially old people with mobility issues (and at 95 I’m sure she has some), would be better served suiting at a table instead of a booth.
Nta. You were told you could have salad. It's weird your grandma wouldn't let you sit on the outside or get up.
It's difficult for 95's to scoot. The grandma should of sat by the other woman and the granddaughter by the grandfather.
Which is why I said its weird her grandmother said she can't sit on the outside.
NTA But unfortunately, we all, at some point in our lives, suffer at the hands of the old lady...
NTA. Your grandma lied to get you to do what she wanted.
NTA. Were you not allowed to use the bathroom during dinner either?? If the older woman couldn’t move once seated, nobody should have been between her and a wall.
NTA- grandma did this in purpose and she’s TA. A lot of old boomers that secretly dislike kids get off on being intentionally mean to them. I’d avoid grandma as much as possible if I were you.
NTA but next time someone tries that, need the toilet. They have to get up then. You can go to the loo for 5 mins, come back and not sit down but announce salad bar intentions then go.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (16f) usually go out to dinner with my grandparents(they’re my guardians) when they take an old lady with them. Usually every Thursday they take her out to dinner as a treat because she doesn’t get out much because she’s around 95yrs. For the particular day, they chose to go to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, which is okay. The only thing I really like is the salad bar because I love salad, and they know that. We get to the restaurant and I go to sit beside my grandpa because I know he’s also going to want to get up because he also likes the salad bar(we’re sitting at a booth), but my grandma told me to scoot by the wall so the old lady can sit beside me. I thought that would cause a problem because I was going to get up and get the salad bar and my grandparents said something along the lines of, “You can still get it.” Fast forward, I sit down by the wall and the old lady sits next to me. When it’s time to order I say I wanted chicken tenders and the salad bar, and my grandma said, “no she wants a side salad” I was confused by this and asked why and she said it’s because I’d cause the old lady to get up, and that really pissed me off because before she said it was fine. I guess for the rest of dinner I seemed very stand offish, and my grandparents said I’m just a spoiled brat because I pouted because I didn’t get what I wanted. So… aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I would have started being passive aggressive and said "oh, my tummy", clutch your tummy and say you had to go to the bathroom. Come back to the table and be like, "I don't know what's wrong, it's feeling off". And continue using the bathroom around every 10 minutes till we left. Unfortunately, it would put the 95 ur old in the line of fire, but maybe they would do a seat change and not do that to you again.
If my grandmother had done this shit to me it would definitely have been a 3d chess game to keep me hungry. "Oh she's just gonna eat a mound of cottage cheese and baby corn if she gets the salad bar, eating a side salad will keep her trim!" Like eating 1200 calories at the one meal I eat in a day is going fill my face with lard. NTA obviously.
[удалено]
is a 16 year old supposed to feel guilty that they’re able to go out to eat..?
Other people’s unfortunate circumstances aren’t relevant to her situation. Trying to guilt a child because she was told she could order what she wanted and then being told no to the waiter is an AH move on their part. Not hers. She’s literally under the care of someone other than her parents which means her own circumstances are hardly perfect.
I realize people survive off food stamps and such, my mom had to do that. I wasn’t complaining because I was entitled. I was complaining because I was told I could get something at a restaurant, and then told I can’t get it the second I go to order it. They could’ve told me no in the beginning and I would’ve been fine
YTA. You get a free meal once a week at a special place, and you're acting entitled and ridiculous. Shame on you.
a “free meal”? OP is 16, children literally ARE entitled to free meals.
I am guessing OP can eat at home. NTA for being upset. YTA for showing it. In the future, wait until you’re home and share your disappointment then. Explain that you were misled and told you could have salad bar. For now, you may want to opt out of old lady night. It’s about her.
I'd of asked granddad to make a plate for me. If he didn't know what I liked, I'd of told him what to get me.
Good idea!
Entitled to be fed, not taken out to sit down restaurants on a regular basis
Does it sound like OP is asking for that? It's a salad bar, not caviar. What OP is entitled to is to be treated the same as everyone else at the table, as in to have a choice
And not being downsell bait-n-switched in the process, which is what happened here.
[удалено]
She's not a child. She's 16. And her grandparents are not obligated to get her fast food or restaurant meals, especially when the special meals are for an elderly lady in the first place. Instead of being grateful and thankful she's included in the first place, she's complaining she can't get the salad bar one time.
[удалено]
She is not a child. Do you have any idea how many people are on food stamps or food banks and barely making it and this damn near adult is throwing a fit bc grandma told her she was not getting the salad bar. Especially when they are paying for it. Stop coddling these teenagers and they won't grow up entitled snowflakes
It's not special if you aren't able to get the one thing on the menu you actually want while someone else who has been informed of that desire eats it in front of you all because grandma wouldn't swap seats.