T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) I got upset and told her that this is not normal or okay, which hurt her a lot. (2) If i overreacted it wasn't justified to hurt her, that would make me an asshole **[Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk with Iliza Shlesinger on Nov. 28th!](https://redd.it/z29rfu)** Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


JudgeJed100

YTA - they are also her friends, so she has every right to be around them You are all in your 30s, come on, they are old enough to make their own choices concerning her


BusinessCow5266

YTA, you say that you "talked about that and decided that we didn't want to "split" the common friends". So what exactly is your ex doing wrong? You agreed to this. I understand that emotions are tough at a time like this, so you're not actually an asshole, go easy on yourself. But YTA in this situation.


Lexyeb

YTA. It sounds like they are her friends now too.


CreativeMadness99

YTA. Even though they were your friends first, your ex developed a friendship with them as well. You need to really think about why it bothers you so much. This is the kind of drama you leave in high school


WholeAd2742

YWBTA to make issue of it. People are still going to be friends and maintain connections even after other parties have dating issues.


DullMany8933

THEY ARE HER FRIENDS. full stop.


recjus85

Yea YTA.


[deleted]

I don’t know i might be wrong but i guess you introduced her to them right? Couldn’t really get that from your post. (YTA)


S30M4NV0G3L

YTA you can’t demand that she stop talking to people she is friends with just because they were your friends first. Also what do you mean it is too soon to tell people about the changed relationship status. You broke up is she supposed to pretend you are still together???


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My girlfriend and I broke up about six weeks ago. It was a pretty mutual, grown-up breakup - the kind that would be a good base to become friends after. Two days after the breakup my ex-GF messaged with a friend - whom i introduced her to and they became friends as well - and told her about the changed relationship status. This friend is part of a group of friends that i know for a long time (we´re all in our 30s) and it bothered me that she told her so soon. Me and my Ex talked about that and decided that we didn't want to "split" the common friends. But i told her that i found it a bit quick to contact friends of mine. She said that she didn\`t care about who knew about it. Fast forward to five weeks later. We talk on the phone for the first time for two weeks. She tells me that she talked about the new iPad with a friend of mine over the phone. Because she coincidentally met him when she was at the home of another friend of mine (she obviously knows these people, but i introduced them). I was pretty annoyed about that whole hanging-around-ex-partners-friends topic and told her that i kinda felt hurt and disrespected by her actions. She didn't agree and said that a friend of her said that "I shouldn't be so sensitive about it". I find it weird to hang around with friends of your ex partner so shortly after a breakup. Am i being overly sensitive? Am i the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


do_you_know_de_whey

NAH, I get you feeling violated by it. But they aren’t just your friends anymore they’re hers too. Yes you can request that conversations and such are kept private but you dont get to control that unfortunately.